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233. Start Again, not from scratch · Your Enriched Self

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  Speaker 1: There was a time I was addicted to HGTV channel,
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  Speaker 1: and I loved it because it was looking at a
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  Speaker 1: current design of a home and reimagining it, doing it
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  Speaker 1: with the insight of the architect or the contractor, or
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  Speaker 1: the designer or the realtor. There were so many different perspectives,
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  Speaker 1: and I think the show I really liked on that
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  Speaker 1: network was Love It or Listed, because what would emerge
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  Speaker 1: from that is a conversation. Well, first it would start
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  Speaker 1: with the two realtors, or these two design minds. One
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  Speaker 1: was a designer and the other one was more of
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  Speaker 1: a realtor, and so the designer would kind of go
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  Speaker 1: in and help the couple or one party in the
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  Speaker 1: couple reimagine what the space could look like if things
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  Speaker 1: were done where it made sense, if it were smarter
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  Speaker 1: to do things a different way, and the realtor would
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  Speaker 1: basically get the inside of the other party there was
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  Speaker 1: always an opposing party, and then look for homes based
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  Speaker 1: on those needs. And again I really liked this show
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  Speaker 1: because in both cases there was an opportunity for this family,
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  Speaker 1: for this unit to start over with their home plans.
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  Speaker 1: Maybe they were growing a family, or jobs had changed
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  Speaker 1: and people were looking at where should we live and
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  Speaker 1: how should we or could we do this? And it
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  Speaker 1: was a whole journey of this reimagination, and oftentimes it
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  Speaker 1: would end where the designer won over the audience at large,
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  Speaker 1: which would be the husband and wife or the partners
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  Speaker 1: that decided this isn't fact where they want to be.
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  Speaker 1: They want to be in the space they're in. But
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  Speaker 1: now they've found, through this design mind, a smarter way
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  Speaker 1: to do things, and so it didn't feel like they
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  Speaker 1: had to start off. If it didn't feel like they
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  Speaker 1: had to find a new route because they had to
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  Speaker 1: move across town to get this new home. They could
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  Speaker 1: do everything right from where they were, just starting wiser.
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  Speaker 1: And that's what I want to talk about today because
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  Speaker 1: I think a lot of times when we reimagine, or
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  Speaker 1: we want to reimagine our lives in a different way,
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  Speaker 1: we believe that we need to start over. But I
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  Speaker 1: want you to think about starting wiser. It's not starting
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  Speaker 1: from scratch, it's starting from what you've already learned, starting
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  Speaker 1: from what you've already gained. Right, think about all the
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  Speaker 1: things you've bookmarked. Think about the blueprint in this case
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  Speaker 1: for these homes that were already there. Think about the
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  Speaker 1: foundation that you've already created through some things that you've done,
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  Speaker 1: some things you study, some places you've gone, people you
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  Speaker 1: now align yourself with. That's foundational things that you've poured
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  Speaker 1: into in a period of years or months or weeks sometimes.
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  Speaker 1: So I want you to understand that you're not going
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  Speaker 1: empty handed to your next thing. You're going experienced, And
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  Speaker 1: going experienced means that you don't have to start all
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  Speaker 1: over again. You know at this point that when you
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  Speaker 1: took your attempt or made the attempt at what you
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  Speaker 1: were doing, it didn't work out the way you wanted.
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  Speaker 1: But the question is, or the fact is, you definitely
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  Speaker 1: learn something. Most of the time, what you learn is
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  Speaker 1: that what you try to do did not work or
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  Speaker 1: where it doesn't work. And that's okay because that is
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  Speaker 1: a series and the process of learning is trying. It's
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  Speaker 1: making an attempt and getting an outcome and understanding is
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  Speaker 1: the outcome desired or undesired. Right in the process of
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  Speaker 1: doing this, you may have discovered where your limitations are.
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  Speaker 1: And I know for me, in many cases, I found
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  Speaker 1: myself limited at where I am. Maybe it's my information
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  Speaker 1: or my education, or my alignment to a situation and
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  Speaker 1: oftentimes and I can admit to myself, but I want
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  Speaker 1: you to look in the mirror because sometimes your limits
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  Speaker 1: mean you need people, You need to bring someone else in,
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  Speaker 1: you need a new perspective, you need some new insights,
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  Speaker 1: and you have to be willing to if you're going
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  Speaker 1: to start wiser. It's also about starting open. And a
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  Speaker 1: lot of people like to start and go right where
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  Speaker 1: they finished the last time, which is fine because it's
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  Speaker 1: important to pick up where you left off, but pick
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  Speaker 1: up the lesson. And sometimes that lesson is there may
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  Speaker 1: be some limits that you had, and you should be
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  Speaker 1: willing to be open to how do I open these
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  Speaker 1: limits up and get some new understanding, get some new insight. Right,
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  Speaker 1: The thing is you've gained some awareness, so you can
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  Speaker 1: bring that in. You've built some skills along the way,
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  Speaker 1: you can bring that in. And the one thing you've
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  Speaker 1: built in your process, no matter where you've been, is
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  Speaker 1: a form of resilience. And all of those things are
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  Speaker 1: part of the architecture that you can use now to
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  Speaker 1: build with what you have, not start from scratch, but
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  Speaker 1: to build with what you have. And when you're doing that,
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  Speaker 1: just like this design person in love, it or listed.
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  Speaker 1: What they did was they reinforced, they redesigned, and they
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  Speaker 1: recalibrated everything that home already had in it and the
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  Speaker 1: new vision that this person wanted to bring into the home.
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  Speaker 1: So it's not making it brand new, it's getting a
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  Speaker 1: better strategy. And that was why I believe in many
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  Speaker 1: cases the love it, which was the design that was
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  Speaker 1: created based on the existing framework of the home, was
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  Speaker 1: the outcome for the couple because what they realize is
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  Speaker 1: they love it now because there's a better strategy, a
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  Speaker 1: better setup to something that they already had at some
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  Speaker 1: point they chose that home for some of the reasons
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  Speaker 1: that they might have all grown. And sometimes as you're
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  Speaker 1: going through your process, you find that you may outgrow
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  Speaker 1: it or you might be outgrowing it, and that's okay.
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  Speaker 1: It's time to imagine a better strategy. And once you
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  Speaker 1: do that, I think one of the things that needs
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  Speaker 1: to happen as you're on this journey to start wiser
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  Speaker 1: is to ask better questions. Ask questions in general. I
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  Speaker 1: think a lot of times people get stagnated and with questions,
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  Speaker 1: and oftentimes people get embarrassed that they have to ask questions, well,
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  Speaker 1: how are you how else are you gonna get new
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  Speaker 1: information and have new understanding. You're not gonna get that
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  Speaker 1: in a silo. You're gonna have to ask better questions
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  Speaker 1: of yourself first and foremost, and then of others. I
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  Speaker 1: think one thing that often stagnates people in this place
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  Speaker 1: is they go about with what they don't know. Well,
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  Speaker 1: all of us are in a place in life, whether
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  Speaker 1: you're new to a job, you're new to a role,
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  Speaker 1: you're new to a come unity. The list goes on.
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  Speaker 1: You're new and maybe you're new. It's new to you
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  Speaker 1: right right this aspect of a thing. Maybe you're been
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  Speaker 1: a great budgeter, but you don't know a lot about investments.
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  Speaker 1: Right it's still in the financial scope. But you have
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  Speaker 1: more strength in budgeting than you do in investing, and
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  Speaker 1: so you must be willing to understand and be okay
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  Speaker 1: that you don't know how to do investments right now,
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  Speaker 1: but you do know that you can learn, and you can.
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  Speaker 1: If you're doing budgets and you're managing your budget, you
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  Speaker 1: know how to be consistent, and some of those skills
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  Speaker 1: in your budgeting can be applicable or applied to the
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  Speaker 1: other areas that you're trying to learn from. So don't
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  Speaker 1: sell yourself short when it comes to that, because what
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  Speaker 1: you have, the skill sets you have a lot of
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  Speaker 1: times they are transferable to other areas and parts of
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  Speaker 1: your life. Now, instead of saying I don't know how
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  Speaker 1: to do this, a better question you can ask yourself
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  Speaker 1: is what do I already know about this? Again, going
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  Speaker 1: back to a budgeting a person that knows how to
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  Speaker 1: budget versus going into or stepping into a place of investment.
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  Speaker 1: What do I already know about money? What do I
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  Speaker 1: already know about finances? There are some things that you
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  Speaker 1: know that would apply to this new area, right, Understanding
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  Speaker 1: your strengths, right, and what have I gone through in
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  Speaker 1: this experience with budgeting that will be helpful when it
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  Speaker 1: comes to investing. Also, have I tried this thing before?
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  Speaker 1: Because a lot of times we try something but because
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  Speaker 1: we're not successful, instead of picking up the lessons, we
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  Speaker 1: focus on the losses and we move on to something else,
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  Speaker 1: or we just abandon it altogether. And so it's important
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  Speaker 1: to understand have I tried it, and if I did,
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  Speaker 1: what was the outcome and what did I do with
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  Speaker 1: that information? Can I go back and get that information
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  Speaker 1: and use it now and apply it to what I'm
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  Speaker 1: going to do now, what I'm going to do next.
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  Speaker 1: You also have to ask yourself what information do I need? Again,
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  Speaker 1: you're coming in with experience, You're coming in with insight.
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  Speaker 1: You're not coming in like these homes, they're already established.
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  Speaker 1: There are things in these homes that work, and there
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  Speaker 1: are things in these homes that don't work. So what
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  Speaker 1: are the things that work for you? And what are
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  Speaker 1: the things that you don't know how to do? What
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  Speaker 1: information do you need now so you can get better
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  Speaker 1: at this? As I mentioned before, it's important to know
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  Speaker 1: who I can learn from. And sometimes that mentor is
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  Speaker 1: somebody you can pick up the phone and call, you
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  Speaker 1: can text them, you can send them an email. And
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  Speaker 1: sometimes it's somebody on YouTube. Sometimes it's a pot podcaster
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  Speaker 1: that you resonate with. They have maybe a similar story background.
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  Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be someone that you personally know.
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  Speaker 1: You can be influenced to their influencers out theirs we know.
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  Speaker 1: But there are people that have great knowledge and experience
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  Speaker 1: and they've walked the mile, the ten miles, the one
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  Speaker 1: hundred miles that you don't have to, or they've walked
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  Speaker 1: those miles that you will have to but now you
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  Speaker 1: have some cheat codes, some easy access, some new ways
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  Speaker 1: of understanding the thing. And that's important to have a group, right,
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  Speaker 1: maybe a community or a person a mentor that you
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  Speaker 1: can learn from. And then as you're thinking about what
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  Speaker 1: it is that you need to start wiser at, think
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  Speaker 1: about what skill do I need to add? And don't
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  Speaker 1: think about it like all the things you need to do.
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  Speaker 1: Think about one skill. It could just be one thing, right,
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  Speaker 1: One thing changes everything. I truly believe that when you
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  Speaker 1: change one thing in your life, it snowballs into the
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  Speaker 1: next thing and the next thing. But you just need
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  Speaker 1: that one thing. So what one skill can you add?
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  Speaker 1: I mean, eventually you're gonna add more, but that one
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  Speaker 1: is the catalyst for your start, and starting is gonna require,
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  Speaker 1: as I mentioned, openness. Sometimes it feels really heavy, and
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  Speaker 1: you could see that in this design show Love It
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  Speaker 1: or Listed, where one person is like, this is gonna
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  Speaker 1: be too much. I just want to get out of
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  Speaker 1: this house and go to you know whatever the house
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  Speaker 1: is being recommended by the realtor. Right, So there's that
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  Speaker 1: one party in the group of two that would say,
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  Speaker 1: I don't want to be in this house anymore. I'm
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  Speaker 1: tired of it. I'm tired of looking on these things.
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  Speaker 1: I just want to go on and move on, right.
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  Speaker 1: And it feels heavy when you think about all the
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  Speaker 1: things you gotta do to get the house that you're
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  Speaker 1: in to work the way you wanted to the way
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  Speaker 1: you are envisioning it to work. And so that requires reinvention,
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  Speaker 1: right or does it? Because I think that's where the
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  Speaker 1: struggle took place. It really requires the openness, right, the
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  Speaker 1: openness to a new perspective, and that a lot of
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  Speaker 1: times was the designer's most challenging opponent in the whole thing.
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  Speaker 1: It wasn't the party, it was their perspective. They just
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  Speaker 1: couldn't see the house the way the designer had envisioned
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  Speaker 1: it so that they could eventually love it right and
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  Speaker 1: keep or staying that home. It's also about being open
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  Speaker 1: to your approach. I mean I would see this designer,
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  Speaker 1: her name was Hillary on this show go through a
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  Speaker 1: lot of headache. I mean both would, right. The realtor
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  Speaker 1: did too, but the designer would a lot of times
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  Speaker 1: because this person wouldn't budge. They just had to have
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  Speaker 1: it a certain way and with a budget that they
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  Speaker 1: had to keep in mind. As they're doing this with.
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  Speaker 1: You know, there are certain walls that have barriers that
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  Speaker 1: you can't take the wall down. So there were things
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  Speaker 1: that would require this individual to adjust their approach, but
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  Speaker 1: they weren't willing to do that. So you have to
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  Speaker 1: be open to the approach. How you're going to use
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  Speaker 1: your talent this time around? Right? Thinking about maybe a
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  Speaker 1: project you're working on. How can you use your knowledge
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  Speaker 1: of budget to work on your strategy to invest right?
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  Speaker 1: And you've got to be humble. You got to be
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  Speaker 1: humble in this process because you're learning, you're coming into
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  Speaker 1: some new stuff, you're building some skills. It's okay to
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  Speaker 1: have some tumbles and stumbles along the way. That is
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  Speaker 1: not the final outcome. That is the process, right, And
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  Speaker 1: I know no one loves the price. We all like
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: the outcome and the income of the situation, depending on
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  Speaker 1: what the income is. But we all like the outcome
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  Speaker 1: when it is desired, and so that's what we're aiming for.
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  Speaker 1: But there is a part of the process that we
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  Speaker 1: have to embrace. I'm not going to tell you fall
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  Speaker 1: in love with the process, because I know people don't
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  Speaker 1: want to love the process because the process is messy,
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  Speaker 1: it's icky, it's dirty, it's long, it's not what we expect,
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  Speaker 1: it is not what we want. But if we keep
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: going through it, we're going to get through it and
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  Speaker 1: get to the end of it. And all in all,
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  Speaker 1: you've got to be open to learning. I mean, that's
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  Speaker 1: what the process and the journey is all about, is learning,
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: because you're going to use that all of the things
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: that you would have gone through to start wiser, to
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: go start something else. Right. You know, as you live
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: in life, you're not done when you're done right. When
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  Speaker 1: you're finished with a project, you move on to the
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  Speaker 1: next thing. So there are going to be other opportunities
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  Speaker 1: for you to rinse and repeat in some cases again
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  Speaker 1: not having to start over, but to start wiser, to
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  Speaker 1: use all that you learned, even though it's not maybe
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  Speaker 1: in the same space, the same realm, right, you might
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: be doing something different. You might be building a business,
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  Speaker 1: you might be doing you know, working out. Those are
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  Speaker 1: kind of two different ecosystems, but there are a lot
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  Speaker 1: of things that are again skills that are transferable. When
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  Speaker 1: you start thinking about it, listen, experience is going to
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  Speaker 1: be a really important piece of this puzzle. As you
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: put together your plan to start Wiser right, it's gonna
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  Speaker 1: be really important for you to evolve from where you
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  Speaker 1: are and not erase the mistakes. The mistakes are part
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  Speaker 1: of the journey. It's part of like I said, that
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  Speaker 1: messy part of his that we oftentimes don't want to
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  Speaker 1: think about. But the truth is, it's all a mindset shift.
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  Speaker 1: If you shift your mindset and you approach your start
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  Speaker 1: Wiser plan as not a new beginning, but you open
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  Speaker 1: up to the possibilities of learning, of growing, of skill building,
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  Speaker 1: you're going to go away from overwhelm and you're going
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  Speaker 1: to realize that you are, in fact, not behind. What
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  Speaker 1: you're doing is you're building a foundation that you can
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  Speaker 1: build upon the next time, and so on and so forth.