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Children In The Shadow Of Addiction · Inside The Consulting Room - Understanding the Child Behind the Behaviour

• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome back.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to episode one of this six-part series, Children in the Shadow of Addiction.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: Episode one is entitled The Hidden Impact on Children.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: This series explores what it's like to grow up in the shadow of addiction.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: Not from the perspective of the adult who struggles with it, but from the perspective of the child who must live alongside it.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I can tell when it's going to be a bad evening.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: The house feels different.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: Mum talks louder.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: Dad doesn't talk at all, or you might not even be there.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: I try and stay in my room because if I stay quiet, things might stay calm.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I listen from the top of the stairs, not because I want to, just because I want to know what's happening.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I never really know which version of mum and dad I'm going to get.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: When addiction enters a family, it really announces itself clearly.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: There's no single moment when a child suddenly understands what's happening.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, something much more subtle occurs.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: The emotional atmosphere of the hung begins to change.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: There may be periods of calm followed by moments of great unpredictability.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: Voices become louder.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: Silences might become longer.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: Crying emerges.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: Plans are made and then abandoned.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: Promis are offered and then forgotten.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: Children don't understand the cause of these changes, but they feel them very, very deeply.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: They're remarkably sensitive observers of the emotional worlds around them.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: They notice tension in the room.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: They notice when adults avoid certain conversations or each other.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: They notice when the behavior of a parent begins to shift in ways that feel unfamiliar.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: And over time, many children begin to adapt themselves to this unpredictability.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: Some may become unusually quiet.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: Some may become seemingly very responsible and grown up.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: Some become watchful.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: And these adaptations are not deliberate choices, they're survival mechanisms.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: And they're the mind's attempt to remain safe in an environment where emotional safety and stability just can't always be relied upon.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: These adaptations often become embedded in the child's developing personality.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: And what begins as a way of surviving childhood can become a way of relating to the world.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: Children growing up in homes affected by addiction often become experts in reading the emotional atmosphere around them.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: They learn to watch, they learn to listen, they learn to anticipate.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: But that vigilance costs.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: Because by doing this they begin to organize themselves around the instability of the adult world.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: In the next episode, we will look more closely at what happens when children begin to carry responsibilities that they can't possibly manage.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: Responsibility for managing the emotional lives of the adults, and responsibilities that slowly reshape the experience of childhood itself.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: When addiction enters a family, it really affects only one person.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: Its shadow falls across the lives of the children who grow up beside it.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: The next episode is entitled Broken Childhoods, Living with Parental Addiction.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening.