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How to Set Boundaries as a Highly Sensitive Person · RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Today's episode is produced by my friends at WalkWest.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: If you're looking to grow your brand and generate leads through podcast or video production, head over to walkwest.com.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, let's start the show.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_01: From emotional intelligence through cognitive distortions, certified life and wellness coach Comedy Wood is on a mission to help people see the magnificence of their own unique human spirit.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: Through these small bites of self-visualization and self-confidence, you can have healthy relationships, success in business and career, and live the life you want to live.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: Hi there, and welcome to another episode of Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Whether it's morning, afternoon, or evening, thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to spend a little bit of it with me.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: Today we're going to be talking about the lack of boundaries and how that can affect highly sensitive people.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: Setting boundaries is honestly an integral part of self-care because boundaries help us take care of our responsibilities, help us manage our relationships, and also protect our emotional and mental well-being.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone does need to set healthy boundaries, but highly sensitive people are the ones who need boundaries the most.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: So let's start with what is a highly sensitive person.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: The term highly sensitive person was first used by psychologist Elaine Aaron.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: Highly sensitive is a or high sensitivity is a personality trait that's not diagnosable, so it's not on your DSM, but it refers to increased responsiveness of the central nervous system.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: And what it really means is that that particular person's central nervous system tends to be much more sensitive to internal and external stimuli.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: A highly sensitive person, or HSP for short, does exhibit sensory processing sensitivity.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: So what that really means is this person has a disposition to be sensitive to even subtle stimuli and easily over overly aroused, excuse me, by external stimuli.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: So, in other words, an HSP, if you are an HSP, a highly sensitive person, your brain works slightly differently than other people's brains.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: And so as a result, you tend to be more sensitive to small environmental changes, making it easier for you to feel more stimulated by the things that are happening either inside or outside of you.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: According to research, about 10 to 20% of the population has these highly sensitive or high sensitivity traits.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: A highly sensitive person is not just extremely attuned to their own emotions, but also to other people's emotions.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: Physical inputs like light, music, or energy, social stimuli also can affect them.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: So you might be wondering, how do you identify if you're a highly sensitive person?
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: Well, some things that you can think about are if you tend to overthink or worry, if you're highly empathetic, you're very intuitive, you pick up on so subtle social clues like body language or tone of voice, you have a low tolerance to pain, you quickly feel tired or overwhelmed.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's hard to handle criticism, or you might process environmental stimuli more deeply, or have intense emotional reactions.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: These can be indications that you have highly sensitive traits, highly sensitive personality traits.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: And when you are an HSP, setting boundaries can actually be difficult but are so important because they do reduce stress and can reduce anxiety and incidences of depression.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: When we're talking about boundaries, we're not talking about walls that we're putting up, but we are talking about limits for ourselves and others, as well as the experiences that we will let into our world and will not.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: Our limits communicate to others around us what we expect and also what we will put up with.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: Mental, emotional, physical, sexual, material, spiritual boundaries are all filters that determine what you are able to handle and how you want to be treated, how you want to be held accountable as well as others and essentially what you will and will not accept.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: Boundaries are not fixed.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: Again, they're not walls.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: You can modify them.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: As you evolve and change, maybe your boundaries are going to change too, and that's okay.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: A lack of boundaries can actually mean poor self-care.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: Healthy boundaries are essential to self-care, as I mentioned before, because they do reduce stress, anxiety, they can prevent burnout and protect you from toxic people and relationships.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: Boundaries also help establish your own autonomy and specify, again, what you will and will not allow into your world.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: Setting boundaries can help you work on yourself too.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: So as you are starting to do self-care and self-development, setting boundaries is an important part of that.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: And having a lack of boundaries can be a huge issue for HSPs.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: Being sensitive to other people's needs is honestly a beautiful thing.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: However, if you're an HSP, you're more likely to take on other people's feelings, issues, emotions, situations.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: And the truth is, as an HSP, you tend to be more caring, or you are a caring, compassionate person.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: You tend to be a warm person.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: But unfortunately, sometimes you may accommodate the requests of others when your own needs are not being met.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: People who are HSPs tend to pick up on small changes in how other people act, and then they change their own choices or behaviors in order to put the other person at ease.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: So if you do think that you're an HSP, some tips for setting boundaries, learning to simply say no, which is a really hard thing for HSPs because saying no, they're going to take on the other person's response or emotional reaction to that.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: But learning to say no without giving a reason is important.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: Accept your own limitations.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: So despite your best intentions, there might be occasions when you can't help somebody.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: And it's to recognize that there's a limit that you have there.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: Paying attention to your own needs is very important.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: Avoid getting overwhelmed by practicing your own self-care and being aware of what you need.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: Because HSPs are highly empathetic, they may end up struggling with these with the ability to set boundaries, which can actually result in feeling drained and resentful or unhappy and can lead to incidences of depression.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: So setting and maintaining those appropriate boundaries is again a way to reduce stress, but also allows for clearer communication with others because they know what you expect and what is expected of them.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: If you are struggling with something like this and would like to talk more about how setting boundaries could be helpful for you, or just want to talk through how to uh work through being a highly sensitive person, coaching can actually help with that.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: So if you'd like to have a conversation with me, by all means feel free to book a time at chatwithcomedy.com.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: And until next time, stay well.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for listening to Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_01: For more information, book a chat with comedy at www.chatwithcomedy.com or visit her website at www.comedywood.com.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_01: You can also find comedy on Facebook or Instagram.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_01: Username it's authentic me.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for listening.