Latest / The Relentless Pursuit of Winning Podcast / Business Psychology: Hidden Patterns That Shape Your Success | Dr. Amber Bartlett

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Business Psychology: Hidden Patterns That Shape Your Success | Dr. Amber Bartlett · The Relentless Pursuit of Winning Podcast

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  We're humans and we are not gonna budge until we get to a point that we're ready
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  to make the move.
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  If we're not ready to see something,
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  not ready to hear something, not ready to do something,
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  we're not gonna do it.
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  When we think about burnout,
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  A lot of times that happens because We have no boundaries put into place.
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  We're trying to do everything.
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  We procrastinate because we literally don't know where to start.
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  And it all feels so overwhelming we shut down,
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  Majority of entrepreneurs get into it because they're passionate about something.
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  And then they get to the point where they can't even remember what that was.
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  And when you forget your why, that's a dangerous place to be.
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  Balance is a rigged game
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  It doesn't exist. Intentional prioritizing is what I had to learn.
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  Welcome to another episode of the Relentless Pursuit of Winning Podcast.
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  My name is Rick Meekins. I'm your host for today.
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  And in our studio, we have Dr.
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  Amber Bartlett. How are you today,
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  ma'am?
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  Fantastic. Thank you so much for having me here.
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  Absolutely, absolutely. This is gonna be a fantastic show.
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  I love talking about entrepreneurship and psychology,
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  and we're gonna mush the two together.
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  So it's gonna be really cool.
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  Folks, if you haven't done it already,
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  I would be honored if you like,
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  subscribe, and hit the bell so that you can get updates every time we drop
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  a new episode. Without further ado,
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  let's get to it. So, Dr. Amber,
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  I know you, but our
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  Yes.
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  audience doesn't know you. We would be honored if you tell us a little
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  bit about yourself, who you are,
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  what you do, and why you do what you do.
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  Absolutely. So, yes, you already introduced me,
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  Dr. Amber Bartlett. So I am a business psychologist,
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  which is a rare breed, and people always look at me and go,
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  what the heck does that mean? So basically,
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  bottom line, I work with entrepreneurs and business owners to understand
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  why you do what you do and why,
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  like the cause and effect between the results you have and how you got them.
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  there's so much that we do that is subconscious,
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  unconscious.
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  You know, based on beliefs, things that we don't even consciously recognize.
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  And so
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  Mm.
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  that's my job is to make sure that we can recognize the root behind what's happening
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  so that we can either make it happen more or make it happen less.
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  so yeah, that's that that is basically that in a nutshell,
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  business psychologist. I do also own a dog facility.
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  So I love dogs, passion of mine.
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  So we do dog daycare boarding grooming in Massachusetts.
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  and yeah, I have a lot of animals and single mom to an awesome four and
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  a half year old son.
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  Wow, amazing, amazing, amazing.
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  Yeah.
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  I love it. I love it. I love it.
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  Now, I mean, I've I've got a I've got a thesis for you.
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  Entrepreneurs are crazy. That's it.
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  I mean, think think about
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  Yeah.
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  it. You know, you can go out, you get a nice cozy job,
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  you know, collect your money every month,
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  you you know how much you're gonna make,
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  you pay all your bills, et cetera,
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  et cetera. Or you can start a company that know exactly when your money's gonna come
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  in.
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  work, you know, ten, fourteen,
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  sixteen hours a week, you know,
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  miss all kinds of stuff. And, you know,
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  I mean, so to pick the ladder,
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  there's got to be something wrong with you.
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  I mean, I I just think as a as a general statement,
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  am I am I wrong?
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  I absolutely don't think you're wrong.
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  I always like to joke that having a business is almost like having another family
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  member that is very needy, always wants more money,
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  has no respect for boundaries,
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  and always needs something.
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  Okay.
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  So I think we're aligned.
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  Respect
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  for boundaries thing. It's just like you know,
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  Mm-hmm.
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  you're laying
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  in bed at 10 o'clock at night and somebody texts you,
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  Yes, been there, done that.
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  Yeah. Or I even
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  do it to myself. I'll be laying there at 2 a.m.
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  and be like, wait, I just had this awesome idea.
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  I have to get it down. I'm like,
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  Yes. Yes.
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  what is happening? Yeah, we do it
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  to ourselves. So yeah, thesis crazy,
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  I buy into it.
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  Yes.
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  Awesome, awesome, awesome. real deal though.
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  so let's dig into this. Well, you know what?
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  our audience needs to know a little bit about your history as as an entrepreneur.
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  you're you're a serial entrepreneur,
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  you've you've run you know, you've run the ropes.
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  All of this isn't theory for you.
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  So can you give us a little bit of that background too?
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  Yeah, absolutely. So I kind of started my first business on accident,
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  which happens a lot. So had been laid off from corporate job,
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  found a need in the market, said,
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  you know what, let's give it a shot.
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  I'm aging myself. It was back in the days,
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  you know, when you hung up those tabs like in apartment buildings for people
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  to rip off if they want to call you.
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  So that's how long ago that was.
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  So anyway, just kind of jumped in accidental.
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  It took off. It was amazing. I ended up selling it,
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  got the bug.
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  ended up moving to a new state.
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  And so, just like you said, you know,
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  the temptation to have that easy cushion hey,
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  a place to go every day, give me a paycheck every week.
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  So went back into corporate, you know,
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  spent years climbing the corporate ladder,
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  landed at the top of the ladder,
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  looked around and said, What am I doing with my life?
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  I do not like it up here.
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  Mm-hmm.
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  I don't want to do this anymore.
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  I want to do things the way that I want to do them.
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  And so that's how I ended up back in entrepreneurship.
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  And
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  So I opened so the dog daycare facility that I mentioned opened that about seven
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  years ago now. business psychology practice,
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  you know, not long after that.
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  I've had several other businesses along the way that,
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  you know, just decided to sell.
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  you know, I I it's so funny. You people do say,
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  you know, serial entrepreneur and kind of make fun of me,
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  and that's fine, you should, because my brain never stops.
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  but I find that, you know, that that's the fun part for me,
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  right? And I think a lot of entrepreneurs,
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  it's the ideation and you know,
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  figuring out, seeing a need, you know,
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  filling it. And then once it got to like,
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  okay, now it's running, now it's the grind,
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  I'm like, yeah, peace out. Like,
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  I want the next adventure. And so that's how
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  Mm-hmm.
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  you become a serial entrepreneur.
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  so yeah, that you know, is basically,
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  and then, you know, the more I did it,
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  have my doctorate in psychology,
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  which was a benefit to myself,
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  trying, you know, to figure out because there's not a lot of people that know
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  psychology and business.
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  and so that's what I love about it.
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  You know, I think sometimes, and no disrespect to business coaches,
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  they're very valuable, but I feel like there's five on every corner,
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  kind of like churches in the south.
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  And so I thought, you know, how do like what's missing in it?
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  Right? Because it's great, but it only takes you so far.
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  Okay, I need, you know, anyone can help you get a new spreadsheet
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  or a new productivity hack. But how do we make sure that you don't need that hack
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  again in five years? And so
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  That's how I ended up, you know,
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  doing what I do. And I'm a total nerd about it and I love it absolutely.
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  so yeah, hopefully that answered your question.
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  Just kind of round and round and probably not gonna stop for a long time.
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  Good for you, I love it. so I I wanna
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  and the book.
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  I forgot about the book too, sorry.
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  My book came out earlier this year.
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  That was one piece that also took up a good chunk of my life.
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  Yay.
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  All right. We'll have to get into that book a little bit later.
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  I'm I'm really curious. so and I I'd love to hear a story if if you could.
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  I want to hear about the impact of underst you know,
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  what is what does that look like?
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  You know, impact, you know, what what are we looking for?
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  What our expectations, you know,
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  in terms of like somebody somebody hiring you.
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  Mm-hmm. Yeah, absolutely. I was literally just saying this to someone earlier today
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  because I have a client that I'm working with and she's having a consult with
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  a new potential client. And she's like,
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  you know, I I really want to tell her this,
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  but I don't think that's what she's looking for.
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  And I was like, that is such an interesting statement because 95% of
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  my clients who come to me, even just to like explore and see what it is,
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  have
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  huh.
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  no clue what it is that they actually need.
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  They, you know, you think you do,
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  right? Like,
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  I've had a client that came to me and she's like,
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  you know, I need help. I I can't get any more new clients.
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  I've become stagnant. I I can't seem to get new clients in the door.
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  Okay, well, let's look. Like, what's happening?
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  Well, it turns out the root of the issue is that people were coming,
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  people were reaching out to her,
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  Mm-hmm.
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  but her response is what was stopping it.
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  So instead of understanding the psychology of what people want or what
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  her clients wanted when they reached out to her.
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  She just had like a pat response.
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  Okay, here's my policies, here's what we do,
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  here it is. Well, yeah. So people were like,
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  Yeah, no thanks. Like, I'm gonna go to the next one where I feel valued
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  and I feel like it's a personalized service.
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  So, you know, she would have had no idea that that's what she needed.
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  We turned that around, and I mean,
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  with she's one of my biggest success stories.
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  So within, you know, six months,
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  she had literally increased her client base by 65% just by changing the messaging,
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  which stems back to understanding.
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  what clients are actually looking for or,
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  you know, what they need from that psychological perspective.
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  Mm. Mm.
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  ~
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  so I think, you know, and again,
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  so many times it happens. I, you know,
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  business psychologists, no one knows what that actually means.
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  And so, you know, it has taken me years to figure out how do I like,
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  you know, explain this really quick.
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  So people are like, that's what it is.
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  Mm-hmm.
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  But you know, that that's a lot of it.
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  Or, you know, having a client,
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  you know, come to me and say, you know,
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  I think I need a business coach.
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  I just want to work with a business coach because,
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  you know, I feel like I can't,
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  you know, get out of my own way.
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  I'm spending all my time putting out fires.
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  So I need help managing my employees.
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  Well, so then we get into it and I'm like,
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  you don't need help managing your employees.
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  You need help letting go.
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  Like you're holding on to everything.
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  It's the control. So that's why you're putting out fires.
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  You know why? Because you've told them to come to you when they have a fire.
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  So of course you're gonna feel like you're putting out fires.
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  So that was one, you know, understanding the importance of delegation
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  and what are you afraid of? And why are you holding on to everything?
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  ~
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  Yeah.
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  so does that help? Those are a couple of examples.
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  Yeah, yeah. I it's not quite quite what I expected.
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  I mean and and just just be I mean,
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  I would never have thought about it,
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  you know, from the client perspective.
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  You know, this
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  Mm-hmm.
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  is what your clients are thinking or or whatever.
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  But you know, you s you start talking about the the what I'll call limitations,
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  you know, that that the business owner has.
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  You know, and
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  Mm-hmm.
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  and I was I was curious, is like are are we like kind of diving in
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  a little bit deeper to, you know,
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  what's the root cause of your need for control or you know,
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  Mm-hmm.
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  what what whatever what what
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  What is this phobia, you know,
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  that you have with, you know, making that,
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  you know, pushing back on that offer or whatever that is?
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  I mean, are you going in in that direction as well?
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  Mm-hmm.
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  Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. My whole goal when I come in,
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  like I said, because everyone,
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  you know, is usually, I wouldn't say always,
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  but most people are coming to me because they're a business owner
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  and they either feel stuck, they're,
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  they don't know the next step,
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  you know, things aren't working out the way that they want.
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  So
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  Yeah.
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  they don't know exactly what, but they're like,
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  here's my mess. Like, can you please help me figure it out?
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  And so that is what I love doing.
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  It's like, you know, put like going into a bucket full of a hundred things that make
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  no sense, pulling them out.
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  And then figuring, you know, out how do we put them back together so that
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  you have the full picture of what you're looking for.
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  So yes. So like in that example,
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  you know, okay, we've now identified that you're struggling,
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  you're putting out fires all the time because you don't want to let go
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  and you don't know how to delegate.
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  Okay, well, like, why is that?
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  So now when we understand that,
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  because I am never gonna be able to force you,
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  Rick, to delegate something if you don't want to delegate.
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  Like I'm never going to be able to force you to let go if you're not.
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  willing to let go. And what makes people willing to let go is
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  to understand why they're holding on in the first place.
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  And so I have to get you to a point,
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  whatever that, you know, belief is or experience that you've lived through that
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  makes you hold on to that. Once you realize,
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  Well, yeah, duh. I don't want to let go because last time I let go three years ago,
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  I let someone else, you know, run this department and they ran it into the ground.
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  And I've spent three years like
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  Mm-hmm.
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  bringing it back up, right? And so that experience scarred you.
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  And of course now you don't want to let go.
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  So now let's figure out how do we get you past that hurdle?
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  Because you're never gonna get where you want to go based on where you've been,
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  right? We have to do things differently.
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  But
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  We're humans and we are not gonna budge or move until we get to a point that we're
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  ready to make the move. And that's a lot of my job too.
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  You know, I've worked with clients for six months where I knew what they needed
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  month one, but it took
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  Yeah.
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  them till the end of month six to be like,
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  wait, I think I know what it is.
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  We should do this. And I'm like,
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  Hallelujah.
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  I've been sitting on that for five months.
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  So you know, it's no judgment.
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  It's just like anything. If we're not ready to see something,
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  not ready to hear something, not ready to do something,
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  we're not gonna do it.
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  And so, you know, that that is part.
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  Like I want to bring the awareness.
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  I want to help
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  And
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  you dig. I want to help get you into the uncomfortable,
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  which is where we grow, but we don't force ourselves there a lot of times
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  on our own.
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  Yeah.
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  And so, you know, I'm there for support,
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  but I'm also there to call you,
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  you know, on whatever it is that I need to call you out on.
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  You know, it's like that I hate tough love,
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  but you know what I mean. Like I'm here to support you,
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  I'm here to give you encouragement,
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  but I'm also not here for you to just continue to make excuses.
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  Because I will point out, you know,
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  hmm. I think that's an excuse.
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  What do you think? I haven't been hung up on yet,
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  so I guess that's positive.
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  Ha ha ha.
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  I've never had anyone just get up and walk out.
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  So I know. Yeah. I don't want to hear that.
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  See ya. I always tell people, look,
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  you're paying me to do my job.
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  And I can't do my job if I'm just,
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  you know, southern nice all the time.
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  So I gotta, I gotta point out both sides here.
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  I I I had somebody almost fire me like for that reason.
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  And like
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  Really?
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  yes, yes, and and her partner had to kinda like walk her back,
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  is like, Rick's telling you what you need to hear
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  Yep. Yep. Because it's natural.
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  Defensiveness is our first mechanism,
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  right? Like, no, I don't wanna
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  Right, right, right.
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  hear that. But again, you know,
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  I tell people, look, if you're gonna make this investment,
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  it's a big investment. You know,
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  you're investing in yourself, you're investing in your business,
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  your people. Like, be willing to embrace it and do the work that needs to be done.
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  Otherwise, what are you doing?
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  Yeah.
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  Yeah, yeah. You
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  know, that's that's I have two questions for you.
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  Let's let's go with the let's let's stick with the investment piece.
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  I mean, whenever we look at, you know,
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  providers like yourself, you know,
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  we have to look at it responsibly,
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  you know, it's like what is that return on investment gonna look like?
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  So what are what are people saying or what are people getting as a result
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  of of working with you? What's that typical I shouldn't say typical,
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  but what's what's a what's a good example of that?
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  Yeah, it's
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  a great question. I love that question.
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  let me think. So let's see, one client at the end,
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  we she was one that I consulted with where she had been doing
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  her business probably about five years.
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  And
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  Mm-hmm.
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  she came to me and she's like,
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  It just doesn't feel right. I don't know what's right,
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  you know, not right about it. I just feel like I'm doing nothing
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  to move forward because it
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  doesn't feel right. And I can't figure that out.
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  So we
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  Yeah.
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  spent a long, we start at the beginning.
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  I said, we're gonna go all the way back.
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  Like what is important to you?
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  Why are you doing this business?
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  So we started all the way. We completely rebuilt her business.
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  And at the end, she, you know,
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  said, I like there is no value that you can put on finally having the clarity,
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  right? Of what you were meant to be doing.
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  And
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  Mm.
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  you can't get that on your own.
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  Right. I I've kind of
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  termed it like the mosaic effect.
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  So you know the like little broken pieces of,
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  you know, when they make that art.
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  When you're
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  Yeah.
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  staring right at it, what do you see?
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  You see just a bunch of broken little pieces that mean nothing.
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  It's
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  Mm-hmm.
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  not until you step back that you're like,
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  my gosh, look at like it makes a picture.
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  It makes sense.
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  Yeah.
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  And so that's why, you know, I always tell everyone too,
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  I will never not have, you know,
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  a business coach and a psychologist because you can't see things
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  for yourself that other people can see.
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  You know, the client that I told you about with the actual tangible results
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  in her like bottom line, she increased
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  Mm-hmm.
• 14:54
  her clients by 65%. Her revenue shot through the roof,
• 14:58
  you know, that first year. So that's a literal,
• 15:00
  you know, yeah, you put money in my bank account.
• 15:02
  That's obviously valuable.
• 15:03
  Yeah.
• 15:03
  another client with consulting,
• 15:05
  you know, had a business. He was one of the like putting out fires all the time.
• 15:08
  And so at the end, like we had to go in and just restructure.
• 15:11
  Let's figure out what your structure actually looks like.
• 15:14
  You know, you can't have three people doing 18 jobs.
• 15:16
  We need to actually structure departmentally,
• 15:19
  right? So everyone knows what they're doing.
• 15:20
  And now we have processes and workflows.
• 15:22
  And so at the end, he was just like,
• 15:25
  I can't believe the amount of time that I now have to focus on sales,
• 15:29
  which is what he loved doing, and not having to spend his days putting out fires.
• 15:33
  Like he was just so rewarded and
• 15:35
  Mm-hmm.
• 15:36
  The peace of mind. Like he now gets to focus on the business that he loves,
• 15:39
  which is why he started it. So those are just a few examples.
• 15:42
  Hopefully it helps.
• 15:43
  Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. You know,
• 15:45
  it's it's it's really interesting that that last example because my
• 15:48
  my my question is, what happens when you have to diagnose a business?
• 15:53
  And you've got a
• 15:54
  Mm-hmm.
• 15:54
  business that looks like it works,
• 15:56
  but there's something in it that we can't really
• 15:58
  Mm-hmm.
• 15:59
  put our fingers on that is is is keeping it from being at the level
• 16:03
  of business that it needs to be.
• 16:04
  What what is what does that look like?
• 16:07
  Yes, it's it's literally the second career I would have taken as a detective
• 16:11
  if I had not become a business psychologist.
• 16:13
  Well you got time to start that business.
• 16:13
  I always joke. I don't know Yeah,
• 16:17
  I know. I'm like, I don't know if it's just 'cause I'm nosy or I really like digging
• 16:21
  or making people uncomfortable,
• 16:22
  but anyway, but you know, I joke,
• 16:24
  but that's really what it is. Every if I for every consulting client,
• 16:28
  I have to go in like I know nothing.
• 16:30
  Mm-hmm.
• 16:31
  And
• 16:31
  I have to investigate. I have to start at the beginning.
• 16:34
  You know, what do your processes look like?
• 16:36
  What roles do you have? What is your organizational structure?
• 16:40
  What are your like revenue channels?
• 16:43
  You know, what are your streams?
• 16:44
  Like where is the money coming from?
• 16:45
  So it's
• 16:46
  Mm-hmm.
• 16:46
  literally looking at every facet of the business.
• 16:49
  And once I can, you know, kind of storyboard out the pieces,
• 16:54
  then it starts to tell me the story.
• 16:56
  You know, and and just like him,
• 16:57
  you know, he thought, putting out pot fires,
• 16:59
  putting out fires. Part of it was the you know his control thing,
• 17:01
  and we figured that out. But even once,
• 17:04
  and even once that was addressed and changed,
• 17:07
  then I discovered, whoa, whoa,
• 17:10
  what do you mean this person is doing these four jobs?
• 17:13
  Like, no wonder the quality, you know,
• 17:15
  isn't there, or no wonder they're not talking.
• 17:17
  Like it it's just it comes out and it the thing I love,
• 17:21
  I'm thinking of one particular client.
• 17:24
  Because I love what I do. So I show up every time we meet,
• 17:26
  like jazzed and ready to go. Like,
• 17:28
  let's figure this out. You know,
• 17:29
  most clients are like, you know,
• 17:30
  I don't know if I want know this.
• 17:31
  But the thing I loved about this particular client,
• 17:34
  like he was in it. You know, he wanted to figure it out.
• 17:37
  He wanted to fix it. And so I loved seeing him get just as excited as me when I,
• 17:43
  you know, we start to, and he's like,
• 17:45
  my gosh, like, how have I not seen this?
• 17:47
  Like this is the most
• 17:48
  Ha ha ha.
• 17:49
  valuable thing. He literally said,
• 17:51
  This is the best investment I have ever.
• 17:52
  ever made in my business. And it was like that is so rewarding to me.
• 17:57
  And again, because I also understand it's I don't,
• 18:00
  I won't say impossible. It would be extremely difficult to do this by ourselves.
• 18:04
  Right. I mean, you know, as an entrepreneur,
• 18:06
  it can be lonely. Who are we talking to?
• 18:08
  We talk to ourselves way too much because we don't have an outlet.
• 18:11
  So there is just so much value in having someone else come in and look.
• 18:16
  And then you're like, duh, why has that light bulb not turned on until today?
• 18:20
  The perspective makes all the difference.
• 18:22
  Yeah.
• 18:24
  So so so so this guy that ended up being your your client that ended
• 18:29
  up being the the sales leader for the organization,
• 18:31
  it's it sounds like he wasn't loving life before you came along
• 18:38
  and and and gave him a renewal.
• 18:39
  Is is
• 18:40
  Yeah.
• 18:40
  that a do you see that a lot? Like people are are not in in the right roles
• 18:44
  as entrepreneurs.
• 18:45
  Absolutely. I see it all the time.
• 18:47
  I see it where well, yes. So what I would say is consistent across the board
• 18:53
  is that I have really two main buckets of clients who come the way they come to me.
• 18:57
  One is like I'm so done. I don't even know if I want to keep it or like what
• 19:02
  to even do. Like they're literally burned out.
• 19:03
  Down.
• 19:05
  They
• 19:05
  don't know what to do. The others are okay.
• 19:10
  Like I'm ready to go to the next level.
• 19:12
  I'm ready to go the next stage.
• 19:13
  I don't know how to do that, but let's get this done.
• 19:15
  Like they are ready, you know,
• 19:17
  for that next growth phase. And I love both.
• 19:20
  I love both buckets because I can confidently say I have had 100%
• 19:26
  of those clients that come in telling me,
• 19:28
  yeah, I don't even know like why I'm here.
• 19:30
  I don't know why I want to do this.
• 19:31
  By the time we're done, we have either figured out that they are not doing
• 19:35
  the role that they really want to do.
• 19:37
  We have figured out that they're struggling with employees because they didn't have
• 19:40
  the tools they needed to be able to understand them and communicate with them.
• 19:44
  So they at the, you know, end and most of my clients,
• 19:47
  I mean, there's not really an end because I like them and so
• 19:50
  we have maintenance plans that they never go away.
• 19:53
  But you know, 'cause I like to see their progress.
• 19:55
  But yeah, at like that is what happened.
• 19:57
  And just like, you know, that client that I was talking about.
• 19:59
  I mean, if I were to pull up a video of our first session and a video of him now,
• 20:05
  it's completely different person.
• 20:06
  Like completely. And I have so many like that.
• 20:09
  And then the other ones, I mean,
• 20:10
  they're just as fun, man, because they're ready to go.
• 20:12
  And that's how I work anyway. I'm fast.
• 20:14
  Let's go. And so, you know, having someone to keep up and just be excited about
• 20:17
  the next step and the next step and then see the results.
• 20:20
  It's yeah, they're both so rewarding.
• 20:21
  Yeah.
• 20:22
  Wow, wow, wow. I I
• 20:24
  have definitely been in the in that in that burn it down.
• 20:26
  How how
• 20:27
  We all are. We all have been.
• 20:30
  how do you you know, I I was I saw something the other day,
• 20:33
  I don't remember where it was,
• 20:34
  but you know, they were saying something to the effect it takes like three years
• 20:37
  to recover from burnout. What
• 20:37
  Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
• 20:40
  what is that what is that pro is that true,
• 20:41
  first of all? And then secondly,
• 20:43
  you know, what what is that process like?
• 20:45
  Yeah. I'm not gonna say it's true or untrue because I don't even feel like there's
• 20:51
  enough data to support that or unsupport it.
• 20:54
  What I will say is based on personal experience with my own clients,
• 20:59
  it does not take that long. but the reason being,
• 21:03
  okay, let's think about it. When we think about burnout,
• 21:06
  right? And I've been there, you've been there.
• 21:08
  Mm-hmm.
• 21:08
  So,
• 21:08
  you know, when you get to that point where it's like,
• 21:10
  I don't know if I can even take one more step,
• 21:12
  right? A lot of times that happens because we have that needy family member that
• 21:17
  never stops. We have no boundaries put into place.
• 21:19
  We're trying to do everything.
• 21:21
  we're overwhelmed. We pr start to procrastinate because we literally don't know
• 21:25
  where to start. And it's it all feels so overwhelming that we shut down,
• 21:30
  right? And so that is a lot of the core of burnout.
• 21:34
  Mm.
• 21:34
  We've
• 21:34
  pushed ourselves to the point where,
• 21:36
  you know, we haven't reached out for help.
• 21:38
  We've stayed isolated. We're doing everything ourselves.
• 21:40
  And we're so overwhelmed that we don't even know up from down.
• 21:44
  And so that is the value of having someone who knows the business
• 21:49
  and knows the psychology because I know what's going on.
• 21:52
  I might not know exactly what caused your burnout,
• 21:54
  but if you
• 21:54
  Mm-hmm.
• 21:55
  come to me in burnout, I know you're in burnout.
• 21:57
  And I know how to seek to get to the other side of burnout.
• 22:02
  Mm-hmm.
• 22:02
  And a
• 22:02
  lot of it's not easy and it's hard.
• 22:04
  And I had to get used to people crying because it happens,
• 22:07
  right? It's personal. Our business,
• 22:07
  Mm.
• 22:09
  when
• 22:09
  we're entrepreneurs, our businesses,
• 22:11
  it's not just a business. That's part of our identity.
• 22:13
  That's part of who we are. And so it's
• 22:13
  Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
• 22:15
  you can't really untangle, you know,
• 22:17
  an entrepreneur from their business.
• 22:19
  It's
• 22:19
  Yeah.
• 22:19
  tied together. And so it's an arduous,
• 22:23
  hard process of pulling at all those threads that have got you to
• 22:28
  the point of burnout.
• 22:30
  So, you I always preface it's not easy,
• 22:32
  but the payoff of doing it is amazing because I mean,
• 22:38
  majority, again, I'm not going to quote a number,
• 22:40
  Majority of entrepreneurs get into it because they're passionate about something.
• 22:44
  They want to make a difference.
• 22:45
  They have a mission, you know,
• 22:46
  they want to do something.
• 22:48
  Mm-hmm.
• 22:48
  And then they get to the point where they can't even remember what that was.
• 22:52
  They can't
• 22:52
  Mm.
• 22:52
  even remember why. And when you forget your why,
• 22:55
  that's a dangerous place to be.
• 22:56
  And that is usually the center of burnout.
• 22:59
  And so it's all about pulling it apart,
• 23:02
  breaking it down, and getting to the point where I remember my why.
• 23:08
  Now how do I rebuild so that I don't forget it again?
• 23:12
  And so that's kind of the process.
• 23:12
  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 23:14
  yeah. It it it occur it occurs to me that that there's a piece of doing,
• 23:20
  I don't say what what do we say,
• 23:22
  what's natural. Or, you
• 23:23
  Mm-hmm.
• 23:23
  know, your your own I use the term job fit,
• 23:27
  you know, as well. You know,
• 23:27
  Mm-hmm. Yeah.
• 23:29
  I I know that I know that one I had a I had a marketing company a while
• 23:33
  ago and I found out I hate marketing hate it.
• 23:37
  Like absolut absolutely hate it.
• 23:38
  ~ No,
• 23:41
  It w it was it was getting me it was getting me to the point where it's just like
• 23:44
  I I can't do this anymore. You know,
• 23:46
  and and I absolutely had to change my job.
• 23:48
  I had to step back, so you what I'm just gonna stay in the consulting world
• 23:50
  and you guys run this company and ~
• 23:53
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 23:55
  That's happened too. I've had a couple clients where they come to me.
• 23:58
  The end result is that they decided to sell their business.
• 24:02
  And
• 24:02
  Mm-hmm.
• 24:02
  to me, that's success, right? Because you
• 24:05
  Yeah.
• 24:05
  could have got to where you need to to needed to be if you had kept holding
• 24:10
  on to that business that you didn't like.
• 24:11
  And I I personally just did that.
• 24:14
  I closed business earlier this year because I believed in the mission,
• 24:17
  but I had too much going and I couldn't focus and it was dragging
• 24:20
  me down and draining me.
• 24:22
  So I decided to close and results in my other businesses since then have skyrocketed
• 24:28
  because I think there's a value in understanding quitting versus valuable
• 24:35
  letting go. Those are two very different things.
• 24:36
  Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
• 24:38
  And I think
• 24:38
  that's where entrepreneurs get tripped up,
• 24:40
  right? Because
• 24:40
  Yeah.
• 24:41
  it's like, man, but I have this business and you know it's working and
• 24:44
  I don't want to be a quitter. I don't,
• 24:45
  I don't want to quit. So I'm gonna live a miserable life and make everyone around
• 24:49
  me miserable versus.
• 24:51
  You know what, this it's just not the right fit.
• 24:53
  And it might be painful and it might cost me money,
• 24:55
  maybe not, but it's not the right fit.
• 24:58
  And so I'm going to choose to let go.
• 25:00
  And the positive results of that are exponential.
• 25:03
  So it's the the wisdom of recognizing the difference.
• 25:07
  Yep.
• 25:07
  Yeah, yes. Yes, yes, yes. Been there done that too.
• 25:11
  ~
• 25:13
  Right there with you.
• 25:14
  You know, it's it's it's interesting,
• 25:16
  you know, you you you talk about these decisions and you know,
• 25:19
  the idea that, you know, we do these things kind of in a bubble.
• 25:23
  You know, we you know, we don't really have someone that's like typically have
• 25:26
  someone that's next to us that,
• 25:27
  you know, gets what's going on up here.
• 25:29
  You know, this they're not waking up at two AM in the morning and like writing down
• 25:32
  No
• 25:32
  a business plan, et cetera, et cetera.
• 25:34
  How how do we how do how can we be successful?
• 25:38
  You know, in
• 25:40
  managing the isolation, you know,
• 25:43
  that we have as entrepreneurship and the world around us.
• 25:46
  Because the one thing I discovered,
• 25:48
  it was really odd to me, that the world doesn't stop,
• 25:51
  you know, just because I'm really busy.
• 25:53
  I I didn't, you know, it didn't dawn on me,
• 25:55
  you know, immediately. It took me a while,
• 25:56
  Yeah. Imagine.
• 25:57
  but you know, how how how
• 25:59
  do you guide people? How do you how do you work with your clients about that?
• 26:02
  Yeah, I love that question. I don't get that one a lot.
• 26:04
  So that is a good a good topic because it's so real.
• 26:08
  And you know, if you're an entrepreneur,
• 26:10
  you've been through it, you know,
• 26:11
  and there's so many different levels,
• 26:13
  whether, you know, not having someone to just actually discuss the business with,
• 26:17
  having a life partner who's not an entrepreneur and does not understand it at all.
• 26:22
  How do we maintain that relationship,
• 26:25
  right? Because neither of us are gonna get it.
• 26:27
  I don't understand.
• 26:28
  How do you go to a job every day where someone tells you to sit in
• 26:31
  a cubicle every day, you know?
• 26:32
  And then they're like, Can you please put your phone down?
• 26:36
  Like, I don't understand why you sit in that office with the door closed forever.
• 26:40
  I felt like a failing mother. My son was three,
• 26:42
  and he literally looked at me and said,
• 26:44
  Mommy, put your phone in your pocket.
• 26:46
  And I was like,
• 26:46
  Ha ha ha.
• 26:48
  Epic mom fail. I'm done. That was a pivotal moment in motherhood for me.
• 26:52
  But anyway,
• 26:53
  Mm-hmm.
• 26:54
  side story.
• 26:55
  So, you know, I think there's a couple sides to your question.
• 26:58
  There's like tactical actual solutions,
• 27:00
  right? So there have been business owners I've worked with when I'm like,
• 27:04
  you know what? You have to get out.
• 27:06
  You need to go to a network meeting.
• 27:08
  You need to go have coffee with a colleague.
• 27:10
  You need to find a connection somehow,
• 27:13
  right? And there's a ton of different ways that we can do that.
• 27:15
  I've worked with clients who I had to say,
• 27:17
  you know what? You need to be okay asking for help.
• 27:20
  It's not a failure.
• 27:22
  That you can't do everything on your own.
• 27:24
  You need to change your mindset that having support and having help is an asset,
• 27:30
  not a detriment to you. And so I think,
• 27:33
  you know, it's a combination. Like we all need both.
• 27:35
  We need tactical solutions. How do we not isolate?
• 27:38
  And we also need to make sure that our mind is in the same place.
• 27:42
  I was literally speaking earlier today to a group of women.
• 27:44
  And, you know, I s one thing that I learned,
• 27:46
  because I am, let's say it nicely,
• 27:48
  I am fiercely independent.
• 27:49
  Okay. I am the first one to say,
• 27:51
  I got it. I don't need your help.
• 27:53
  No, no, no. I'm good. I'm good.
• 27:54
  But and I'm not the only one.
• 27:58
  And it comes from a couple of different places,
• 28:00
  right? We never want to like, I don't want to burden someone else.
• 28:02
  You know, I feel like, yeah, okay,
• 28:03
  can you help me? Like now I'm putting you out and I don't want to do that.
• 28:06
  So a lot of people are that way.
• 28:07
  ~ you
• 28:07
  Mm-hmm.
• 28:08
  know, a lot of people are literally like,
• 28:10
  I don't want to admit that I don't know what I'm doing,
• 28:12
  because then nobody will believe what I'm like,
• 28:13
  how are they gonna hire me if I don't even,
• 28:15
  you know, know what I'm doing every moment.
• 28:16
  Mm-hmm.
• 28:18
  And the the valuable lesson that I learned is that there are literally people
• 28:22
  out there whose main joy in life is to help.
• 28:26
  Like they want to help. And so I started saying,
• 28:30
  well, okay, I have, you know, some colleagues or friends over here who want to help.
• 28:34
  And I'm saying, no, I don't need help.
• 28:36
  Now I'm just being rude. Now I'm just taking away their joy because they find
• 28:38
  Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
• 28:41
  joy in doing that. And that
• 28:42
  really helped me because it doesn't come natural to me to ask for help.
• 28:45
  Mm-hmm.
• 28:46
  Mm-hmm.
• 28:46
  You know,
• 28:46
  and it's also like desensitization.
• 28:48
  The more you do it, then the more easier,
• 28:50
  you know. Once I started to see the value of,
• 28:52
  that was way easier than trying to like spend,
• 28:54
  Mm-hmm.
• 28:54
  you know, double
• 28:55
  the time to do it myself, it becomes easier and easier.
• 28:58
  But, you know, I I I just will say,
• 29:00
  entrepreneurs, I cannot stress the value of finding your tribe
• 29:03
  and engaging with them, being open to help,
• 29:06
  being open to having help. And,
• 29:08
  you know, I think there's both.
• 29:10
  There's, you know.
• 29:11
  There's like I said, colleagues,
• 29:12
  networking groups, things you don't have to pay for.
• 29:14
  And I will never tell someone not to pay for support because that's why it's there.
• 29:20
  That's why we exist. Right. So take advantage of it.
• 29:23
  Does that help?
• 29:24
  Yeah.
• 29:25
  You know the hesitation that that I I don't think I'm the only person.
• 29:30
  The hesitation that we have sometimes is is the opportunity cost.
• 29:33
  Because if
• 29:33
  Mm.
• 29:34
  we're out networking, you know,
• 29:36
  it's like, it could be working on,
• 29:37
  you know, XYZ. You know, if we're tringing in a new person,
• 29:41
  they might not work out. They might,
• 29:43
  you know, destroy everything, burn the house down,
• 29:46
  you know, and
• 29:46
  Mm-hmm.
• 29:46
  it's and we have to train them and then find somebody else.
• 29:49
  I mean there's there's this whole,
• 29:50
  you know, s room full of crap,
• 29:54
  you know, that that we have to that we take into consideration with every decision.
• 29:57
  Mm-hmm.
• 29:58
  And so, you know, in your world,
• 30:00
  I mean, how do you coach someone,
• 30:01
  how do you guide someone past like these these hang ups that we have?
• 30:07
  yeah. And we all have them. a really good friend of mine,
• 30:10
  she's an amazing school teacher.
• 30:12
  And I always laugh because she if if you start to say,
• 30:15
  Yeah, well, what if she's like,
• 30:16
  you have a major case of the what ifs and we need to put those away.
• 30:18
  Ha ha ha.
• 30:19
  But
• 30:20
  we do it, right? Like, I'll never forget her saying that to me ever.
• 30:23
  Because now I'm like, you know,
• 30:24
  making it well, yeah, well, what my word,
• 30:26
  I have a case of the what
• 30:27
  Ha ha ha ha ha.
• 30:28
  because let's be fair, right? We're never guaranteed tomorrow.
• 30:31
  There's gonna be what ifs for the rest
• 30:31
  Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
• 30:33
  of you know our lives. And so
• 30:35
  I literally do there's two major things that I have found work.
• 30:38
  So if I have a client, you know,
• 30:40
  who's like, well, what if I hire this person and you know they're terrible?
• 30:45
  And I'm like, wow, that's valid.
• 30:47
  What if we hire that person and they're the most amazing employee you have ever had?
• 30:52
  And now your productivity is through the roof,
• 30:55
  and they've literally just added a quarter of your revenue to your bottom line.
• 30:58
  Okay,
• 30:58
  Mm-hmm.
• 31:00
  well, there's that. you know, so literally just flipping the script.
• 31:03
  You know, well, what if I what if I invest in this product and then
• 31:06
  it completely tanks and I've just wasted,
• 31:09
  you know, 70 grand on making up these numbers.
• 31:11
  Okay, that's valid. What if you invest in the product,
• 31:15
  you spend the 70 grand, and then next year you see a return of 700 grand.
• 31:21
  Like, you know what I mean? There's what
• 31:23
  Mm-hmm.
• 31:24
  ifs around every corner and nothing's guaranteed.
• 31:28
  I'm never gonna sit here and be like,
• 31:29
  nope, you should do that because this is gonna happen.
• 31:32
  I would be sued every day. I can't do that.
• 31:34
  However, we can't also function and be successful if we're completely holding
• 31:39
  ourselves back by thinking about every contingency.
• 31:43
  And so, you know, there's that.
• 31:45
  And then the other exercise that I like to do,
• 31:47
  this one's fun, mostly because it annoys people and for some reason it makes
• 31:50
  Yeah.
• 31:51
  me laugh. But have you ever heard of the seven whys?
• 31:54
  Okay.
• 31:54
  Yes.
• 31:55
  So I love doing that, right? Because it works.
• 31:59
  People hate it, but the results like it opens your mind,
• 32:03
  you know. I mean, I do it myself and I hate it,
• 32:06
  but it
• 32:07
  Mm-hmm.
• 32:07
  is it's so helpful, you know. Well,
• 32:09
  you know, well, well, I don't want to do this.
• 32:11
  Okay, well, why? Well, because this could happen.
• 32:13
  Why? You know, or they're gonna think that.
• 32:16
  Why, you know, and so yes, it is annoying.
• 32:19
  And I won't lie, sometimes we don't get to seven because I get annoyed and I'm like,
• 32:22
  yeah, I think we've we've gone far enough.
• 32:23
  But the whole point is it's in our minds.
• 32:27
  You know what I mean? That's where the psychology comes with the business.
• 32:30
  You can have an MBA and still sit there and,
• 32:34
  you know, overanalyze and question yourself and go through the case of the what-ifs.
• 32:38
  It doesn't matter how intellectual or how good you are.
• 32:40
  And so it's so important to realize when you're in that place and just flip
• 32:46
  the script. And you know, like for every what-if disaster,
• 32:49
  there's a what if amazing. Who's who
• 32:51
  Yeah.
• 32:52
  who guarantees what?
• 32:53
  Yeah. Yeah. I love that. I love that.
• 32:55
  I love that. You were just so full of great stuff.
• 32:57
  My goodness. Here's here's here's a here's a here's a question.
• 33:02
  we see we see obviously we see we've we've seen the rise of you know AI and you know
• 33:07
  Mm-hmm.
• 33:08
  all of that good stuff. And you know,
• 33:09
  first you know, first instinct sometimes for folks is just to you know
• 33:13
  to drop into chaps like I feel like crap that you know,
• 33:16
  whatever that is.
• 33:17
  I I want I want people to really understand from your perspective
• 33:23
  the the limitations there and like really when they need to say,
• 33:26
  Hey, you know what, I need to have a conversation with somebody that really
• 33:30
  understands where I am, you know,
• 33:31
  both from a you know, somebody that understands the business side of things,
• 33:35
  but also understands, you know,
• 33:36
  where I am as a human being.
• 33:38
  Yeah, no, love that question. because you know,
• 33:41
  I will look, AI is positive. I'm not gonna sit here and bash it.
• 33:44
  I use it in my business all the time.
• 33:46
  It's a tool. It's not a person.
• 33:49
  Okay. And so I use it as a tool.
• 33:52
  I I'll use, you know, AI to help me build assessments or I'll help AI,
• 33:57
  you know, I'll use AI to help me build presentations faster because
• 34:00
  it drives me nuts spending all the time on the details because I'm
• 34:03
  not a detail person. You know,
• 34:04
  however.
• 34:06
  To answer your question, when it comes to really wanting to open ourselves
• 34:13
  up to understand, you know, where we are,
• 34:16
  where we need to go, what results and goals we need,
• 34:20
  AI is never going to be able to sit across from you and see the fear on your face.
• 34:25
  It's never going to be able to sit across from you and see your eyes well
• 34:28
  up because something touched you subconsciously,
• 34:30
  even if you don't know it. It's never going to be able to sit next to you.
• 34:35
  And say, hey, you know, you mentioned this a few years,
• 34:40
  you know, a few months ago, and I noticed at the time that you stiffened up,
• 34:43
  but you weren't in the right place to talk about it.
• 34:46
  And I feel like today you are.
• 34:47
  So let's dig into that a little more.
• 34:49
  You know what I'm saying? So AI,
• 34:51
  you know, I will say an amazing tool if it's used correctly.
• 34:56
  I I do still firmly believe that there is a human element that is needed for that.
• 35:03
  connection and understanding and seeing and sensing human elements
• 35:09
  of the person across from you that you're you just can't get from AI Does that help?
• 35:14
  Mm, mm, mm. good thoughts, good thoughts,
• 35:15
  Yeah.
• 35:17
  good thoughts. Absolutely.
• 35:18
  Absolutely. Let's talk about your book.
• 35:21
  Hmm yes, my second child.
• 35:24
  I
• 35:26
  th I I given the number of businesses you have,
• 35:29
  I I I don't know if maybe it's your later later down the path,
• 35:33
  Okay, like my child, whatever.
• 35:33
  but ~
• 35:35
  Yeah. Call me the business Brady Bunch.
• 35:37
  There we go.
• 35:38
  Yes. yes, so the book. So came out earlier this year.
• 35:41
  It's called Balance is a Scam.
• 35:43
  Ambition, Motherhood, and Why We Don't Have to Pick One.
• 35:46
  And the impetus for writing the book,
• 35:49
  you know, two and a half years ago,
• 35:50
  I was on top I felt like I had it going on.
• 35:54
  I had
• 35:55
  high paying executive career. I had a husband,
• 35:57
  a nanny, a miracle baby that I was never supposed to have,
• 36:00
  beautiful house. You know, I was just,
• 36:02
  I was living the dream. And picked up my now ex-husband's phone one morning,
• 36:07
  just like any other morning. And from that day forward,
• 36:09
  neither him nor the nanny ever stepped foot in my house again.
• 36:11
  My world exploded. And th that was a pivotal moment,
• 36:16
  you know, for someone who
• 36:18
  has really spent my life on being an overachiever.
• 36:21
  I'm very logical and analytical and,
• 36:23
  you know, focused on business.
• 36:25
  And I was drowning in emotional things that I just didn't know what
• 36:31
  to do with. And I was now a single mom to a two year old,
• 36:35
  which meant I had to get out of bed,
• 36:37
  even when I didn't want to. And so the book that's that was,
• 36:40
  you know, the book is really my journey.
• 36:44
  Of what I learned about being an ambitious businesswoman,
• 36:49
  surprise mom in my 40s, never expected that.
• 36:52
  And the different challenges and stigmas and societal norms that I
• 36:58
  had no idea existed for ambitious women who were also moms.
• 37:03
  And it it shocked me. You know,
• 37:05
  there were moments when I'm like,
• 37:06
  how are we in the 2020s?
• 37:09
  And I'm still being judged because my kid's in preschool.
• 37:12
  How are we in the 2020s? And, you know,
• 37:16
  I am getting, you know, this feedback that,
• 37:19
  well, if you're gonna be an ambitious woman,
• 37:22
  that must mean you love your child less.
• 37:24
  Or if you're a stay-at-home mom,
• 37:26
  that means you have no ambition.
• 37:27
  You know, like how how is this happening?
• 37:30
  Where where are these coming from?
• 37:31
  And it's not right. And
• 37:33
  Also trying to balance everything at once,
• 37:37
  you know, multiple businesses,
• 37:38
  being a mom. I always joke that my life literally looked like a plate
• 37:43
  at a southern buffet where you've got all your like fried foods that you never eat,
• 37:48
  you know, over here. And then I've got dessert somehow on that plate.
• 37:51
  The stuff's falling off the edge of the plate.
• 37:52
  And then I have, you know, three little green beans over here in
• 37:55
  the corner because you're supposed to have vegetables,
• 37:57
  right? Like that's how I'm balancing.
• 37:59
  That is not balance. That is not balance.
• 38:01
  And so, you know, I had to learn literally through you can read it in the book,
• 38:05
  like literally through a shower floor breakdown,
• 38:08
  saying out loud to nobody that I cannot do this anymore.
• 38:11
  I can't. I cannot keep giving the people and business around me my crappy leftovers.
• 38:18
  I had to decide that intentional prioritizing is the only option because Balance
• 38:24
  is a rigged game that we are taught can be achieved and it's unattainable.
• 38:29
  It doesn't exist. So Intentional prioritizing is what I had to learn.
• 38:34
  and developing this new scorecard is what I call it.
• 38:37
  You know, the old scorecard is based on achievement,
• 38:39
  you know, like my house looks clean enough.
• 38:42
  My kid always has clean clothes.
• 38:43
  He's not wearing his pajamas to wear,
• 38:45
  you know, like all these different right?
• 38:46
  Like to that that means I'm a good mom.
• 38:48
  And if I don't complete this checklist of scorecard,
• 38:50
  I'm not a good mom. Well, first of all,
• 38:51
  who even wrote this stinking scorecard?
• 38:53
  Like it's like you're taking a test.
• 38:54
  You have no idea who wrote it.
• 38:55
  What are you even taking it for,
• 38:56
  Mm.
• 38:56
  right?
• 38:57
  Mm.
• 38:57
  And
• 38:57
  so the new scorecard is really focused on take a step back and what actually really
• 39:02
  matters to me. You know, like,
• 39:04
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 39:04
  okay, my kid wanted 15, you know,
• 39:06
  15 nights of macaroni and cheese.
• 39:08
  Old scorecard would have been like,
• 39:09
  hello, bad mothering. He's not eating quinoa.
• 39:13
  The new one is, you know what?
• 39:14
  He told me it was delicious and he's not hungry.
• 39:17
  So it's really choosing to spend your focus and time on what is important
• 39:23
  on that day in that moment. Because our best.
• 39:27
  is gonna look different every single day.
• 39:29
  Every single day. And it's being
• 39:30
  Mm, mm.
• 39:31
  okay with that. You know, coming out of that time in my life where
• 39:35
  I was constantly sitting in guilt and anxiety and overwhelm and getting
• 39:40
  to a point where it's like, you know what?
• 39:42
  There is no way to balance this.
• 39:44
  It doesn't mean I'm failing. I got back up.
• 39:47
  Resilience is built, not born.
• 39:49
  And being okay with that. So and I always like to say too like I do
• 39:53
  not have this figured out at all.
• 39:55
  Mm-hmm.
• 39:55
  I think it's broken
• 39:56
  system that humans leave the hospital without an instruction manual.
• 39:59
  But
• 39:59
  ~ okay.
• 40:00
  so I am still in the messy middle of it.
• 40:02
  But the more that I have shared this message,
• 40:07
  the number of women who are like,
• 40:10
  holy cow, I felt like you were writing the book about me.
• 40:14
  Or my gosh, being in this room is the first time that I have feel like
• 40:18
  I can be honest, you know, that I'm struggling with this too.
• 40:21
  So that's my mission. I never intended on getting rich with this book.
• 40:25
  It's about the message and it's so personal and passionate to me.
• 40:28
  And I want to get it out to as many women as I can because the more women that
• 40:33
  understand they're not alone and that they're not failing,
• 40:36
  the better we can be as ambitious women and mothers.
• 40:40
  So that's the
• 40:42
  It's it's it's
• 40:43
  so it's it's interesting. I I imagine,
• 40:47
  you know, this book wouldn't come out if you had your child in in your twenties,
• 40:51
  No, no.
• 40:51
  you know, or even even in your thirties,
• 40:53
  you know, at at your age. I mean
• 40:56
  you get to you're you're have a different perspective on life
• 40:59
  and you've experienced things and you know,
• 41:01
  it's it's really I it's a blessing to women.
• 41:03
  I I think this is wow. I I can I can only man.
• 41:07
  I can only imagine what this has got to has mean to be.
• 41:10
  I'm I w I'm a proponent.
• 41:13
  No,
• 41:13
  thank you. I've even it's funny,
• 41:16
  like over the last few months I've had several men that have come up and you know,
• 41:19
  because I, you know, you know what you know,
• 41:21
  right? And I'm I'm not going out there being like,
• 41:23
  hey, my ambitious motherhood book,
• 41:24
  you know, men men's groups I'm presenting.
• 41:26
  But I have loved that I've had them come to me and say,
• 41:30
  I cannot thank you enough for writing this book because the understanding that
• 41:35
  I have for my wife or my girlfriend or the mother of my
• 41:37
  Mm.
• 41:38
  children, I would have never had if I hadn't read your book.
• 41:41
  And
• 41:41
  Mm.
• 41:43
  Loved that because it is both sides.
• 41:46
  You know, it's it's understanding and letting other women know that we get you.
• 41:50
  But can like, can you imagine like getting into the mind of you know your partner
• 41:55
  or whoever and being like, my gosh,
• 41:58
  that's why she runs away screaming at the end of the day.
• 42:00
  I get it now. Like, you know, like it's that understanding and insight that
• 42:05
  you don't get because we don't share that.
• 42:07
  You know, I'm not
• 42:07
  Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
• 42:08
  out there being like.
• 42:10
  Yeah, my kid's wearing the same underwear he sat on for three days because
• 42:13
  I have no time to do laundry, you know.
• 42:15
  But when you read it, you're like,
• 42:18
  holy cow, my kid was at school like the same way.
• 42:22
  So it's not I'm not failing. I'm human.
• 42:24
  On both sides,
• 42:24
  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 42:26
  I just think it's it's so valuable.
• 42:28
  Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
• 42:29
  wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.
• 42:30
  Congratulations and that's this is this is this is a blessing.
• 42:32
  Thank you. This is awesome.
• 42:33
  This is a blessing. Absolutely.
• 42:36
  Let me let me you have a giveaway for our audience.
• 42:39
  Do you want to talk about that real quick?
• 42:40
  Yeah, absolutely. So I what I am going to provide is a really
• 42:44
  fun assessment you know, that combines the psychology of being
• 42:48
  an entrepreneur with where you are in your business.
• 42:51
  And so it's just like a fun kind of self assessment,
• 42:55
  self-eval that you can go through that,
• 42:58
  you know, it kind of looks at where is your business now?
• 43:01
  Is
• 43:01
  Mm-hmm.
• 43:02
  that where you want your business to be?
• 43:04
  And if so, or if not, why is it there?
• 43:08
  And so it's just kind of, you know,
• 43:09
  a fun idea to to maybe just hit on understanding maybe even one more part
• 43:15
  of your brain that you might not understand right now.
• 43:17
  Yeah.
• 43:17
  Very cool, very cool. And we
• 43:18
  will put a link to that in the show notes.
• 43:20
  So if you check out the show, you'll be able to see the see the assessment.
• 43:23
  So thank you for that. ~ last question for you.
• 43:25
  Yes. Yeah.
• 43:26
  ~
• 43:28
  so the name of the show is the Relentless Pursuit of Winning podcast.
• 43:31
  ~ winning
• 43:32
  Mm-hmm.
• 43:32
  is pretty easy for most people to define.
• 43:35
  The hard part is maintaining that relentless pursuit.
• 43:38
  So my question for you is what would you how would you advise our audience
• 43:43
  on how to maintain that relentless pursuit?
• 43:46
  Mm-hmm.
• 43:47
  And don't say buy my book, 'cause that'll that'll
• 43:50
  ~
• 43:52
  Going, but thank you buy my book.
• 43:53
  Now that was shouldn't give me an out like that one.
• 43:56
  no, it's a great question. I think honestly,
• 44:00
  my answer would be don't confuse.
• 44:03
  I want to make sure I say it right,
• 44:04
  it's in my head. don't confuse success with motivation.
• 44:11
  Okay, so
• 44:13
  We all think, right? Or or we we just say,
• 44:16
  yeah, I'm just not motivated to do that today.
• 44:17
  Or man, yeah, you know what? I did that for three days,
• 44:20
  but then I just lost motivation.
• 44:22
  That's a cop out. If you want something and you are dedicated
• 44:28
  to that relentless pursuit, motivation is not even in your vocabulary.
• 44:34
  It is choosing. And I think so many times we trip ourselves,
• 44:39
  and I've done it.
• 44:39
  You know, I've been like, well,
• 44:41
  yeah, you know, man, I know I need to do this,
• 44:44
  but I'm just not motivated. So,
• 44:45
  you know, I'm not gonna do it.
• 44:46
  And then comes the time when it's due and I'm like freaking
• 44:49
  out and panicking because I didn't feel like doing it,
• 44:53
  right? I wasn't motivated to do it.
• 44:54
  No, if it needs, you know, if it's something that's important to you,
• 44:58
  make the choice and continue to make the choice every day.
• 45:01
  I'm not saying it's easy and I'm not saying I do it perfectly.
• 45:03
  Nobody does. But we we just can't confuse that choice.
• 45:09
  with the cop out of motivation or not being motivated.
• 45:13
  Does that make sense?
• 45:14
  It does.
• 45:15
  You know, if you're if you're if you're listening to this,
• 45:18
  you you you're missing the faces that she's making while she's ~
• 45:22
  Well, as soon as that came out of my mouth,
• 45:24
  I was I
• 45:24
  almost apologized. Like I'm pretty sure a bunch of people just hung up
• 45:27
  on me right now. So
• 45:28
  Ha ha
• 45:28
  ha.
• 45:28
  I promise. I promise I say good things,
• 45:31
  not just hard things that nobody wants to hear.
• 45:34
  Amazing, amazing, amazing.
• 45:36
  And Rick
• 45:36
  literally had to tell me, can you try not to move so much,
• 45:38
  please? So if you
• 45:39
  Ha ha ha.
• 45:39
  are just listening, you are missing out.
• 45:43
  I don't think either one of us can hold still,
• 45:44
  but that's a that's another story.
• 45:45
  No.
• 45:46
  Exactly. When you have fun, you have fun.
• 45:49
  Yep, yep, exactly.
• 45:51
  if someone wants to reach out to you,
• 45:52
  get more information, learn more about buy your book,
• 45:54
  what's what's the best way to reach it?
• 45:56
  Yeah, absolutely. So my website,
• 45:58
  dramberbartlett.com, pretty easy.
• 46:00
  I'm on socials a lot. Facebook,
• 46:03
  Instagram, Dr. Amber Bartlett,
• 46:04
  pretty easy to remember. and I'm pretty active on LinkedIn.
• 46:06
  So if you're on LinkedIn, again,
• 46:08
  Dr. Amber Bartlett. So yeah, usually those are the the easiest ways to get
• 46:12
  a hold of me.
• 46:13
  Easy peasy, easy peasy. We will put those
• 46:14
  links in the in your show notes as well.
• 46:17
  Doctor Amber, thank you so much for being on the show.
• 46:19
  This has been fun.
• 46:20
  Yes, it was amazing. Thank you so much.
• 46:23
  Absolutely. And folks, thank you so much for watching and listening
• 46:26
  to another episode of the Relentless Pursuit of Winning Podcast.
• 46:28
  We'll catch you next time.