Latest / She Rises with Ashy & Tijana / How to Stop Starting From Scratch Every New Year - Expand on Who you already are & DOUBLE DOWN! **📝🚀💕✅**

Transcript

How to Stop Starting From Scratch Every New Year - Expand on Who you already are & DOUBLE DOWN! **📝🚀💕✅** · She Rises with Ashy & Tijana

0:05
Speaker 1: Apologie Production. Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashi
0:13
Speaker 1: and I'm Tiana. This podcast is.
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Speaker 2: About female empowerment and encouraging you to be your biggest, boldest,
0:18
Speaker 2: and most authentic version of yourself.
0:20
Speaker 1: We help you shed the shame, grow to new level.
0:23
Speaker 1: We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone
0:26
Speaker 1: else is too afraid to talk about.
0:28
Speaker 2: Get ready for your next level of self. Welcome back
0:32
Speaker 2: to she Rises. I'm your host, Tiana and Ashley.
0:35
Speaker 3: Welcome back guys.
0:36
Speaker 1: If you missed our first episode on Monday, it's a
0:38
Speaker 1: kind of welcome to she Rises. Who is Tiana? How
0:41
Speaker 1: we met? The plans the podcast? If you miss that
0:43
Speaker 1: one makes you go and check it out. But today
0:46
Speaker 1: we're talking New Year, new goals or are we I
0:50
Speaker 1: feel like it's so good to set your intentions for
0:52
Speaker 1: the new year, but sometimes it can be a little
0:54
Speaker 1: bit here we go again. Yeah, we want to talk
0:57
Speaker 1: about how we do it, our perspective on it. We
1:00
Speaker 1: really want to reflect on twenty twenty four, talk about
1:02
Speaker 1: our three fun words. It's going to be kind of
1:04
Speaker 1: like really leaning into when we're making decisions, when we're
1:09
Speaker 1: thinking about who we want to be and what we
1:10
Speaker 1: want to bring into our life what we're saying yes
1:12
Speaker 1: and no to. It's going to come down to these
1:14
Speaker 1: three words. If they kind of don't a line, it's
1:16
Speaker 1: a hard no. And a couple of lessons that we
1:19
Speaker 1: learned last year as well that are really going to
1:20
Speaker 1: help propel us forward in twenty twenty five.
1:23
Speaker 2: I'm excited to say, not excited to say goodbye to
1:26
Speaker 2: twenty twenty three, but I am please see y'all, but
1:30
Speaker 2: more of like grateful and happy that you know. I
1:33
Speaker 2: feel like it was such at least speaking for myself,
1:35
Speaker 2: it was such like a year of like hardship and
1:39
Speaker 2: she's such a heavy word, but like more like I
1:42
Speaker 2: was learning a lot of lessons, Yeah, a lot of
1:44
Speaker 2: lessons about myself, about life, about behaviors I want to
1:47
Speaker 2: let go of, and like a radical conversation that we
1:50
Speaker 2: get to have this around this new year, new me
1:53
Speaker 2: kind of conversation, but with a little bit of a twist.
1:55
Speaker 1: Last year was a lot and everyone that I know
1:58
Speaker 1: or spoke to was going through so much transformation, transition,
2:03
Speaker 1: a lot of shedding and like go I know, for myself,
2:06
Speaker 1: it was huge, like where it was this time last
2:09
Speaker 1: year to now, like I don't have baseline anymore. I've
2:13
Speaker 1: had one brain surgery, I'm about to go into a second.
2:16
Speaker 1: My lifestyle has changed, my relationships like done leaps and bounds.
2:21
Speaker 1: I just feel so much lighter coming into this new year.
2:24
Speaker 1: I know it is just like another day, but the
2:26
Speaker 1: new year represents like a new staff for me, and
2:28
Speaker 1: I really feel this like fresh energy. But it's also
2:31
Speaker 1: really cool to reflect on last year and what it
2:34
Speaker 1: did teach us and what we're going to be bringing
2:36
Speaker 1: or saying yes or no to. And my word last
2:40
Speaker 1: year was surrender because I felt like before that I
2:44
Speaker 1: was very attached to people, to situations, to things. I
2:48
Speaker 1: just wanted to be a certain way. It was coming
2:50
Speaker 1: from a place of fear. I wanted to just surrender me,
2:53
Speaker 1: like whatever's meant to be will be. The universe, it's
2:56
Speaker 1: already ten sets ahead of me. Just have more trust
2:58
Speaker 1: in the universe, have more trust in myself. Whatever happens
3:01
Speaker 1: to me is there to serve a higher purpose. Even
3:04
Speaker 1: like finding out about my brain aneurism. Yes, it was
3:07
Speaker 1: one of the hardest days to hear that news and
3:10
Speaker 1: learn I've got to have surgery. But honestly, it changed
3:12
Speaker 1: so much for me for the better. And without me
3:16
Speaker 1: getting that diagnosis, I suppose I don't think I would
3:19
Speaker 1: have changed as much as what I did, and I
3:21
Speaker 1: wouldn't have been able to step into this new version
3:23
Speaker 1: of myself and be able to live this life I'm living.
3:26
Speaker 1: I feel so much more emotionally peaceful with all the
3:28
Speaker 1: decisions and changes I made last year, and it.
3:30
Speaker 3: Feels really good. So I'm really glad.
3:32
Speaker 1: I actually lent on that word, and that's why we
3:34
Speaker 1: want to talk about our three words were brought in
3:36
Speaker 1: three this year, not just one, but yeah, last year
3:38
Speaker 1: for me was surrender, and I really felt like I
3:40
Speaker 1: did surrender and just drop in and trust the process more.
3:43
Speaker 1: So I'm definitely continuing that in but I'll share my
3:45
Speaker 1: three words going into this year. It's fun, flow, and curiosity.
3:51
Speaker 1: I just want to have more fun. I feel like
3:54
Speaker 1: since I closed down baseline, I have invited more play
3:56
Speaker 1: in and we said it in the last episode, but
3:59
Speaker 1: things get to be however you want them to be.
4:02
Speaker 1: We get to make work fun. We get to make
4:04
Speaker 1: being with our partner's fun. We get to meet me
4:06
Speaker 1: with our kids fun. We get to make whatever it
4:08
Speaker 1: is fun. I want to bring more funy in if
4:10
Speaker 1: it doesn't bring funny and I'm like, well do I want.
4:12
Speaker 3: To do that?
4:13
Speaker 1: And it's not to say running a business or being
4:15
Speaker 1: a parent. That isn't things that you don't want to
4:17
Speaker 1: do that you have to do. I don't really want
4:19
Speaker 1: to change three nappies every single day, pooh nappies, but.
4:22
Speaker 3: You gotta do it.
4:23
Speaker 1: It's not fun but whatever. But it just mean in
4:25
Speaker 1: the gist of it, like as a whole, I want
4:26
Speaker 1: to bring more fun in. I want to bring more flow.
4:29
Speaker 1: I worked with a feminine coach last year and I
4:31
Speaker 1: felt like I really had to drop in more and
4:34
Speaker 1: trust more, feel more, and it helped me become more flowy.
4:38
Speaker 1: The thing Steve and I went through last year as well.
4:41
Speaker 1: He was such a rock for me and so that protector,
4:45
Speaker 1: that rock and that support and I was even saying
4:47
Speaker 1: to him last week since he stepped into more of that.
4:49
Speaker 1: He's always been that, but I felt like last year
4:51
Speaker 1: he was, I don't know, really stepped into it for me.
4:54
Speaker 1: It helped me soften and flow more. I feel safer
4:56
Speaker 1: to flow more and just trust more. And then the
4:59
Speaker 1: last one's curiosity, which was inspired by you because you
5:02
Speaker 1: said curiosity has always kind of led the way for you.
5:04
Speaker 1: If you can leave with curiosity, for me, it just
5:07
Speaker 1: means I've got an open mind. I'm like curious, like, ooh,
5:10
Speaker 1: if I get this opportunity or I meet that person
5:12
Speaker 1: or something happens, like, get curious on it. What does
5:16
Speaker 1: that feel like for me? What are the options? Where
5:19
Speaker 1: can I go with that? Where could that lead to?
5:21
Speaker 1: Even if it's not for me or I decide to
5:22
Speaker 1: say no, I'm still gonna be really curious. I'm not
5:24
Speaker 1: going to shut it down straight away out of fear,
5:27
Speaker 1: out of judgment, out of a place of lack. I'm
5:30
Speaker 1: going to be really curious on everything. Ask more questions,
5:33
Speaker 1: do more research, explore it more. And that seems really
5:36
Speaker 1: fun for me as well. Yeah, so I feel like
5:38
Speaker 1: those three words together are really cool.
5:40
Speaker 2: That's beautiful. They all kind of like interlinkers. They do,
5:42
Speaker 2: and I feel like you've already done a lot of that.
5:45
Speaker 2: I'd be curious. What does more play look like for
5:47
Speaker 2: you this year?
5:48
Speaker 1: More fun adventures with people that I love, people that
5:52
Speaker 1: bring up my inner child, people that I can be
5:54
Speaker 1: silly and playful with. More holidays. I'm booking in the holidays,
5:58
Speaker 1: this year and I'm making them happen. I feel so
6:00
Speaker 1: free in fun of it, like everyone does. But last
6:03
Speaker 1: year I said I wanted to do more decades and holidays,
6:06
Speaker 1: and yeah, we went in a couple of good ones,
6:08
Speaker 1: like went to Europe with Taj, which was awesome, but
6:10
Speaker 1: Steve and I didn't get away like we said we would.
6:12
Speaker 1: And I want to bring more of that in. And
6:14
Speaker 1: it's also the friendships that I'm around. A lot of
6:17
Speaker 1: the friendships I'm around are really playful and feminine, fun,
6:20
Speaker 1: and they've got a very curious mindset. Yeah, the older
6:23
Speaker 1: you get, you do get pickery and choosier with who
6:25
Speaker 1: you spend your time with. And it doesn't mean there's
6:27
Speaker 1: any bad blood or you hate anyone or sometimes something
6:30
Speaker 1: hasn't even happened, but you're more drawn to the people
6:33
Speaker 1: that align with where you're at right now. So true,
6:36
Speaker 1: what are your three words?
6:38
Speaker 2: I love that that's so beautiful. You feels good good,
6:41
Speaker 2: And that's what twenty twenty five gets to be about.
6:43
Speaker 2: It gets to feel good. Actually, we had this conversation
6:45
Speaker 2: the other day where we were like, why don't we
6:48
Speaker 2: get to have it all? Yes, Like that's the whole
6:51
Speaker 2: conversation in itself, but like, why don't we get to
6:53
Speaker 2: have it all, all of the things that we want
6:55
Speaker 2: and that bring us joy, And like why can't life
6:57
Speaker 2: be about filling it with things? And I think you
7:00
Speaker 2: do this really beautifully already, Like we'll talk about micro moments,
7:03
Speaker 2: and I think you do this really beautifully where you
7:07
Speaker 2: interject the things that you want in the micro moments
7:10
Speaker 2: of life, you know, like when you spend time with
7:12
Speaker 2: the fam, or like you know, when you're with Steve
7:14
Speaker 2: or with the kiddies, or like with me or like
7:17
Speaker 2: other friends. She doesn't allowed to have other friends.
7:20
Speaker 3: You can love them, but you must love me more.
7:23
Speaker 3: It's all, It's real. The other day I was like,
7:24
Speaker 3: that is so us so territorial.
7:27
Speaker 2: But yeah, you do that really beautifully where you interject
7:29
Speaker 2: the things that you want in your everyday life. And
7:31
Speaker 2: it's just like that's what it gets to be about
7:33
Speaker 2: every day, Like that life is the micro moments. Yes,
7:35
Speaker 2: it's everywhere, and you get to experience it everywhere.
7:38
Speaker 1: Because I felt like the playfulness was more just when
7:40
Speaker 1: I was with my kids. Yeah, I'm like, why can't
7:42
Speaker 1: I bring that to every aspect of my life? Why
7:44
Speaker 1: can't I make work more fun being more fun with
7:46
Speaker 1: my husband. Why does it have to be serious? And
7:48
Speaker 1: like does a parent have a work hat on all
7:50
Speaker 1: the time? Yeah, Like I want to be playful and
7:52
Speaker 1: slip with him as well, and like being more conscious
7:54
Speaker 1: of that because you can get kind of stuck in
7:56
Speaker 1: your ways and stuck in a rat and get in
7:58
Speaker 1: the groundhog day of like routine.
7:59
Speaker 2: Or whatever every day life.
8:01
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I felt like when I ran basline, it
8:02
Speaker 1: was very much in that it's very in my masculine,
8:04
Speaker 1: very struck, and I just did not feel good. And
8:07
Speaker 1: now it gets to feel good because I'm choosing to
8:09
Speaker 1: do things differently. Doesn't mean it wasn't hard to close
8:11
Speaker 1: that down and make that decision, but now it feels
8:14
Speaker 1: more flowy and easy.
8:16
Speaker 3: But what are your three words? Enough about me?
8:18
Speaker 2: Know more? My three words? So last year I had
8:22
Speaker 2: three words as well. Last year was devotion and the
8:25
Speaker 2: second one that I can remember was action regardless of emotion.
8:28
Speaker 3: Oh wow, there's two.
8:30
Speaker 2: Things that I want to speak to you on that.
8:31
Speaker 2: So whilst I allowed myself to become and my focus
8:35
Speaker 2: was self discipline, I think there's absolutely a time and
8:38
Speaker 2: a place for that. And it was a really beautiful
8:40
Speaker 2: lesson that I really wanted to learn over the year
8:43
Speaker 2: of like consistency with myself and commitment to myself and
8:47
Speaker 2: the things that I was saying that I was going
8:48
Speaker 2: to commit to regardless of how I may feel day
8:51
Speaker 2: to day, because like we know, like that fluctuates. As
8:53
Speaker 2: soon as I get a period, all I want to
8:55
Speaker 2: do is sydneyt ice cream, Like do you know what
8:56
Speaker 2: I mean? Like it's like those like influxes of different moods,
8:59
Speaker 2: and I really just wanted to prove to myself that
9:03
Speaker 2: I could do those things and be really proud of
9:05
Speaker 2: myself for that. And so even the word devotion for
9:08
Speaker 2: me last year was like I'm staying devoted to myself.
9:11
Speaker 2: Love that. And the interesting thing about that vulnerable share.
9:15
Speaker 2: But I'll probably touch on this in a different episode.
9:18
Speaker 2: There was a part where I didn't stay devoted to
9:20
Speaker 2: myself in a relationship last year, and so it was
9:24
Speaker 2: almost like life had given me an opportunity to say, Hey,
9:26
Speaker 2: how devoted are you to yourself? And I had to
9:30
Speaker 2: go through that experience of not one hundred percent devoting
9:33
Speaker 2: to myself but giving that to somebody else instead. And
9:37
Speaker 2: so I think that was a huge lesson for me
9:39
Speaker 2: in twenty twenty four, but also is and has made
9:43
Speaker 2: me who I am right now. And I cannot tell
9:46
Speaker 2: you the contrast of who I was six months ago.
9:49
Speaker 3: See the difference to who.
9:50
Speaker 2: I am now so like bizarre and it's amazing.
9:53
Speaker 1: I had been weird to almost watch it because I've
9:55
Speaker 1: like watched the transition. It's seen it in real time. Yeah,
9:57
Speaker 1: but you're amazing beforehand, but then it's like everything's changed.
10:01
Speaker 1: It's so cool.
10:02
Speaker 2: Yeah, so many different parts and yeah, so a lot
10:05
Speaker 2: of last year was really just like rebuilding that relationship
10:08
Speaker 2: with myself, as it is every year. But this year,
10:12
Speaker 2: whilst action regardless of emotion has the time and a place,
10:16
Speaker 2: I really didn't honor what I wanted and needed in
10:19
Speaker 2: some places. And so this year, right my word one
10:22
Speaker 2: of them is still devotion, but devotion to what it
10:26
Speaker 2: is that I need and want, but tapping into my
10:28
Speaker 2: intuition with it. Yes, discipline always we need to discipline
10:32
Speaker 2: and self control on all those things, but checking in
10:34
Speaker 2: with myself first, is this actually direction I want to
10:36
Speaker 2: go in? Is this actually aligned? Is this what I
10:39
Speaker 2: genuinely want? Or is this what I think I should
10:42
Speaker 2: want because other people want that, you know, And I
10:44
Speaker 2: think I've had trouble with that in the past of
10:47
Speaker 2: being like no, no, no, I want this, I want XYZ,
10:51
Speaker 2: but then deep down having resistance to it and being like,
10:54
Speaker 2: oh do I actually yeah, So there's that part.
10:57
Speaker 1: Yeah.
10:57
Speaker 2: My other one is curiosity. Yes, so I like live
11:01
Speaker 2: by the word curiosity. I love what curiosity encapsulates because
11:04
Speaker 2: there's no thing that you can't work through, move through, discover,
11:08
Speaker 2: or create when curiosity. Yeah, when you have curiosity, and
11:12
Speaker 2: it's like curiosity about myself right, because every year we grow,
11:16
Speaker 2: evolve and learn and change, Like I a different person
11:18
Speaker 2: than I was six months ago, being curious about how
11:22
Speaker 2: I'm changing, Curiosity about what's different about me? Does this
11:26
Speaker 2: behavior align with me? Still? Does this not? Does this
11:28
Speaker 2: person align with me? Still? How am I showing up
11:31
Speaker 2: other people? And just curiosity of every single thing in
11:34
Speaker 2: my life and not always just always asking questions? And
11:38
Speaker 2: my other one is play Oh so fun. Yeah. So
11:41
Speaker 2: I've mentioned in a different podcast that I've been through
11:44
Speaker 2: different stages with friends where I've had like isolated periods
11:48
Speaker 2: or lots of loan time time by myself, and life
11:53
Speaker 2: is so much more richer when you have genuine people
11:55
Speaker 2: in your life, you know, like our friendship, and this year,
11:59
Speaker 2: I really want it to be about like following my
12:01
Speaker 2: intuition and the devotion, but incorporating play into it, you know,
12:04
Speaker 2: because it's like I'm having so much fun and the
12:06
Speaker 2: more fun that I have, the more things come into
12:08
Speaker 2: my life.
12:09
Speaker 3: So true and a different frequency you.
12:11
Speaker 2: Are, You're in a different frequency, and it's just the
12:13
Speaker 2: more that you increase in, the more fun you have.
12:15
Speaker 2: It's like the more your energy rises, the better you
12:19
Speaker 2: feel day to day, the more energy you have, and
12:21
Speaker 2: the more fulfilled and field that you feel. Well, like
12:25
Speaker 2: specifically talking about myself, but that's something that I want
12:29
Speaker 2: to really push the levels on, you know, like I
12:32
Speaker 2: really want to see like how good it can actually
12:35
Speaker 2: get and continue to hold like that frequency of play
12:39
Speaker 2: and enjoyment and love and pleasure, life and pleasure and
12:42
Speaker 2: all of the beautiful things life has to offer, and
12:45
Speaker 2: going like why do I have to put a cap
12:47
Speaker 2: on these things? Do you know what I mean? Because
12:49
Speaker 2: I've always done that. I've been in the past, I've
12:51
Speaker 2: always limited myself of how good things can get for me,
12:54
Speaker 2: you know, or if it does a little bit too much.
12:56
Speaker 2: Then I put myself down a bit, you know, I
12:57
Speaker 2: knock myself down a bit, and I'm like so done
12:59
Speaker 2: doing that, Like why doesn't it get to be beautiful
13:02
Speaker 2: and fun and playful and you get to enjoy so
13:05
Speaker 2: true the one life that you actually do have. So
13:08
Speaker 2: that's my three words for them.
13:10
Speaker 3: I love that.
13:12
Speaker 1: Let's talk about goal setting. How do you have a
13:15
Speaker 1: certain structure you do with it? Do you write everything down?
13:18
Speaker 1: Do you put it in canva? Do you have a
13:20
Speaker 1: system in place? How do you set your goals and
13:23
Speaker 1: intentions for and you y are?
13:24
Speaker 2: I think for me, I found in the past when
13:27
Speaker 2: I write all these lists and do all these things
13:29
Speaker 2: in goal set, I sometimes can overdo it where I
13:32
Speaker 2: write all these different things and then I create overwhelmed
13:35
Speaker 2: for myself. It's like my goals have previously overwhelmed me
13:39
Speaker 2: because I've just done too many different things, and I'm like,
13:41
Speaker 2: what even are my goals anymore? So for me, what
13:44
Speaker 2: I like to do is I like to live by
13:46
Speaker 2: the three words and just keep it simple. So asking
13:50
Speaker 2: myself questions and making decisions based on those three goals.
13:54
Speaker 2: Is the decision that I'm going to make right now?
13:56
Speaker 2: In this moment in alignment with those three goals, yes
13:59
Speaker 2: or no? Then I decide based on that. So, okay,
14:03
Speaker 2: if it's not in alignment with my devotion to myself,
14:06
Speaker 2: do I continue down this path? No? Okay, cool? Then
14:09
Speaker 2: I take action. Then it pushes me in the direction
14:11
Speaker 2: of devotion, right or same thing with curiosity and play
14:15
Speaker 2: and so that has been really powerful for me to
14:18
Speaker 2: not create emotional overwhelm. Yeah, and I find that I
14:22
Speaker 2: always somehow end up getting to where I want.
14:23
Speaker 1: To go anyway beautiful, Yeah, yeah, cool step and I
14:27
Speaker 1: did last year. I did my own goal setting session.
14:30
Speaker 1: He did his own, and then we came together as
14:31
Speaker 1: well and spoke about like our family goals and couple
14:34
Speaker 1: goals and everything. But I kind of break mine up
14:36
Speaker 1: and I love to write things down because it's almost
14:38
Speaker 1: like I do a vision board, and I write it
14:40
Speaker 1: down because if it's in front of me, it's all
14:42
Speaker 1: in the forefront of my mind and I can visually
14:44
Speaker 1: see it. And then I've got my things I'm working towards,
14:47
Speaker 1: and then from what I've gotten written down, I then
14:48
Speaker 1: create action plans around each of those. I love what
14:51
Speaker 1: you said about the overwhelm because there is some things
14:54
Speaker 1: that I won't achieve, but at the end of the day,
14:56
Speaker 1: if I don't, there's no shame in myself for or
14:59
Speaker 1: punish myself. I might just pop on the next year's
15:01
Speaker 1: it's like, Okay, there wasn't enough space or time for that.
15:04
Speaker 1: You obviously in prioriti That's cool, that's okay, not meant
15:07
Speaker 1: to be right now, but yeah, I break it up
15:09
Speaker 1: into like family, finances, freedom, health, and fun under each
15:15
Speaker 1: of those categories, or make a list of what that
15:17
Speaker 1: looks like to me, what it feels like to me,
15:19
Speaker 1: and then what actually need to put in place to
15:20
Speaker 1: make that happen. All of those are really important for me.
15:24
Speaker 1: They're like my pillars to live my best life, really
15:28
Speaker 1: and it was really cool. A lot of the stuff
15:30
Speaker 1: so we put on ours this year we've overachieved, which
15:32
Speaker 1: is so cool. Yes, it's like setting that bar. And
15:35
Speaker 1: also when we set a goal, we do make it
15:38
Speaker 1: that little bit more edgy, and it's like even our
15:40
Speaker 1: finances goals, like it's probably more than what we think
15:43
Speaker 1: we can do, but set the bar high, manifest that, like,
15:47
Speaker 1: believe that you can do that. So that's how we
15:49
Speaker 1: break up our goals and then I love to do
15:52
Speaker 1: a vision board. I just find them so much fun.
15:54
Speaker 1: And it's not even just putting a picture on there.
15:56
Speaker 1: It's like putting something realistic. So that helps me visualize
16:00
Speaker 1: and get in that feeling vibration of what that will
16:02
Speaker 1: feel like when that's mine. I really creative board through
16:05
Speaker 1: like a whole experience every time I look at it,
16:08
Speaker 1: like I can see myself doing that, Like that is
16:10
Speaker 1: me in that house, in that locational That is me
16:14
Speaker 1: traveling business class to that beautiful.
16:16
Speaker 2: Spot, Like that's my dream card. Yeah.
16:19
Speaker 1: Yeah, I definitely create this experience around it and find
16:22
Speaker 1: photos on Pinterest that represent that feeling for me, so
16:26
Speaker 1: it's not just a pretty photo. So that's kind of
16:29
Speaker 1: I break up the goals do a vision board, and
16:31
Speaker 1: that just gets me in this really good energy to like,
16:33
Speaker 1: this is what I'm wanting to achieve, now let's go
16:36
Speaker 1: for it.
16:36
Speaker 2: I love that and it's so beautiful because it creates
16:39
Speaker 2: so much clarity, direction.
16:40
Speaker 3: Forward, so much clarity.
16:42
Speaker 2: Do you really need that? You need the clarity and
16:44
Speaker 2: direction to be able to go, Okay, what is it
16:46
Speaker 2: that I do want for this year? How am I
16:48
Speaker 2: going to get there? And creating that like really tangible
16:52
Speaker 2: action plan so that you don't go like I'm just
16:54
Speaker 2: winging it here, and it's cool. I think both perspectives
16:58
Speaker 2: are really cool as well, because it's like you kind
17:00
Speaker 2: of need different things at different levels. If you're someone
17:03
Speaker 2: who's like constantly planning all the time and then you're
17:05
Speaker 2: never following through, it's like, is the planning beneficial for
17:09
Speaker 2: you in the way that you're doing it? Okay? Cool
17:10
Speaker 2: if not? Pivot. And then if you're somebody who's in
17:13
Speaker 2: the stage where you're like ready to take action, you're clear,
17:16
Speaker 2: you know, you're like in the zone, then it's like, okay,
17:18
Speaker 2: create the action plan for you, get clear on exactly
17:21
Speaker 2: what it is you want take action towards those things.
17:23
Speaker 2: So it's like also discernment on like where you're at,
17:27
Speaker 2: what you're doing.
17:27
Speaker 3: What you're working towards, what.
17:29
Speaker 2: Different behaviors that you have when it comes to like
17:32
Speaker 2: you know, procrastination or not goals and things like that.
17:36
Speaker 2: But then on the other side of that, I loved
17:38
Speaker 2: what you said of like aiming higher than what you
17:39
Speaker 2: think that you can achieve, because the likelihood of you
17:43
Speaker 2: achieving more is going to be higher because you've set
17:46
Speaker 2: the goal. So high that you might actually surprise yourself
17:49
Speaker 2: what you'll be able to achieve.
17:50
Speaker 3: And when you set them too.
17:51
Speaker 1: When I found with me when I went to set
17:53
Speaker 1: some of the goals, I was like, oh, And when
17:56
Speaker 1: I had that doubt, I was like, Okay, what limited
17:58
Speaker 1: beliefs here? Who's told you that you can't do that?
18:01
Speaker 1: Where have you limited to yourself? Where do you have
18:03
Speaker 1: evidence that you can't do that? And then it's like
18:05
Speaker 1: I got to go and journal from that. Yeah, So
18:07
Speaker 1: I remember taking it. I said to Steve one afternoon,
18:09
Speaker 1: like you might if I just go out for a
18:10
Speaker 1: couple of hours. I took my journal and went down
18:11
Speaker 1: to the park for like over three hours, and I
18:13
Speaker 1: journaled all the limiting beliefs that came up for me
18:15
Speaker 1: at that time when I was doing my goals, like
18:17
Speaker 1: I don't think I can achieve this because XYZ, And
18:20
Speaker 1: then I had to reframe that sentence I can do
18:23
Speaker 1: this regardless of outside da da da, and I would
18:26
Speaker 1: reframe each of them and I was like, cool, that
18:28
Speaker 1: gets me my new story. That's my new language. I'm
18:30
Speaker 1: not going to use that language anymore because that will
18:32
Speaker 1: become my truth. Your body feels what you're thinking and
18:35
Speaker 1: becomes your reality. So be so mindful of the language
18:37
Speaker 1: that you're using, so aim high and if you get
18:40
Speaker 1: that little equila resistance, okay, let's explore that. Let's take
18:43
Speaker 1: a moment, and why do you think like that?
18:45
Speaker 2: How cool is that? As well? It's like this self
18:47
Speaker 2: inquiry work. It's like you're already overcoming your own challenges
18:51
Speaker 2: before they even like manifest in relax exactly, like before
18:54
Speaker 2: you get to let's say that level of money and
18:56
Speaker 2: then your nervous system starts to freak out and you're like,
18:59
Speaker 2: I can't hold this, I can't do this. This is
19:01
Speaker 2: you know or imposter syo or whatever kicks in. It's
19:04
Speaker 2: like you've already cross that bridge. Yeah, before you get there.
19:08
Speaker 2: I'm choosing to do this self inquiry work obliterate these
19:12
Speaker 2: like limiting beliefs that we like set on ourselves so
19:15
Speaker 2: that when it does come you're like, no, this makes
19:17
Speaker 2: so much sense. This makes sense that I'm here.
19:19
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, it's cool to do it if you're in
19:21
Speaker 1: a relationship as well, because we did our goal separately
19:24
Speaker 1: and then brought it together. So I've got to see
19:26
Speaker 1: what things he wanted to achieve, and maybe there was
19:28
Speaker 1: a destination that he wanted to go to and that
19:29
Speaker 1: I didn't like. A few years ago, he wanted.
19:31
Speaker 2: To go to Egypt.
19:31
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, it's just not a place I've
19:34
Speaker 1: ever wanted to go. And he went on a solo trip.
19:36
Speaker 1: And there's just different discussions around what he's desiring, why
19:39
Speaker 1: he wants it, how it fits in with each other
19:41
Speaker 1: because we're two separate people. Yes we're together, but we're
19:44
Speaker 1: still our own individual peoples with different desires and wants
19:46
Speaker 1: and needs. And it's cool to be able to have
19:48
Speaker 1: those discussions of like, oh, cool, this is really important
19:51
Speaker 1: to you, Like for me going on a girl ship
19:53
Speaker 1: every year, I would love to take that as every
19:55
Speaker 1: single year for the rest of my life.
19:57
Speaker 3: For him, not really that important.
19:59
Speaker 1: He'd rather go with family or just go on a
20:00
Speaker 1: solo chip or go on a golf trip for the weekend.
20:03
Speaker 1: But for me, like, I love my girl, I love
20:05
Speaker 1: being playful and silly and going with friends that share
20:08
Speaker 1: the love of food that I do and like fitness
20:10
Speaker 1: or whatever. You know, we're off to Balley in April.
20:12
Speaker 3: Can't wait and come.
20:16
Speaker 1: So it's really cool to have those conversations with your
20:18
Speaker 1: partner as well, so we just want to talk about
20:21
Speaker 1: that to kind of simplify. Maybe you'll will resonate with
20:23
Speaker 1: how Tiana does things or how I do things, but
20:26
Speaker 1: I like to simplify it. But I'm also like quite masculine,
20:28
Speaker 1: Like I want structure. I want to see it nice
20:30
Speaker 1: and clear, and then be able to create action plan
20:32
Speaker 1: around that and tackle any limiting beliefs that come in
20:35
Speaker 1: the process.
20:36
Speaker 2: Yeah. Absolutely, And you know it's cool about that as well
20:38
Speaker 2: as like on different years I have done different things. Yeah,
20:41
Speaker 2: where I'm at, so like that's cool. Said, last year,
20:44
Speaker 2: I did the three words and then I just stuck
20:46
Speaker 2: to that, and in the year before that, I did
20:48
Speaker 2: a visual vision board that's the photos, you know, and
20:50
Speaker 2: then this year I feel aligned to do goals and
20:53
Speaker 2: a vision board, like we've spoken about doing this. So
20:55
Speaker 2: it's like just discerning where you're at, what it is
20:58
Speaker 2: that you're needing in the moment because everyone is so different,
21:01
Speaker 2: so different, Like figuring out what's working and what's going
21:04
Speaker 2: to work for you. Yeah, one size fits all for
21:06
Speaker 2: everybody else, just not like that is a no. You
21:08
Speaker 2: just got to like figure out what feels good for
21:10
Speaker 2: you and then you take the parts that resonate and
21:12
Speaker 2: leave what doesn't.
21:13
Speaker 1: Yeah, and one thing we wanted to kind of end
21:15
Speaker 1: on is I think around the New year, especially around
21:18
Speaker 1: health and fitness, but it could be your finance goals,
21:21
Speaker 1: your relationship goals, whatever.
21:23
Speaker 3: Is in the new year. Feels so motivated, so much motivation.
21:27
Speaker 1: It's like flowing with motivation, so motivated to achieve this
21:29
Speaker 1: and do this, and it's like whoa. And then February
21:32
Speaker 1: hits and you're like, where's that motivation gone. I've said
21:36
Speaker 1: in a million times and I will say it again,
21:37
Speaker 1: and I will say every year, every time we do
21:39
Speaker 1: this New Year's episode. You cannot rely on motivation. It
21:43
Speaker 1: ebbs and flows, it dips. It's just not something you
21:45
Speaker 1: can really rely on. I think discipline is such a
21:49
Speaker 1: strong form of self respect and self love. It's really
21:53
Speaker 1: showing up for yourself and showing up for what you
21:56
Speaker 1: value and what's important, because you have to show up
21:59
Speaker 1: even when it's hard, even when you don't want to,
22:02
Speaker 1: even all the excuses or things are happening outside and
22:05
Speaker 1: it's noisy, you're still showing up to the commitment of yourself.
22:09
Speaker 1: I know that could also sound quite masculine, because a
22:12
Speaker 1: feminine's very soft and flowy, and listen to your body
22:14
Speaker 1: and your intuition. I fully believe both can kind of
22:17
Speaker 1: blend and dance together. But sometimes when I've been too flowy,
22:21
Speaker 1: I'm like, I actually just don't want to do it
22:23
Speaker 1: because I'm feeling lazy. When I'm being really honest with myself,
22:25
Speaker 1: and if I'm making an excuse not to do something
22:27
Speaker 1: and I'm procrastinating, like, oh, just being my feminine flow,
22:31
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, you're actually just being lazy, and I
22:33
Speaker 1: have to beat myself up on that. I'm like, get
22:35
Speaker 1: up and do the thing. You're not always going to
22:36
Speaker 1: want to feel like this. You've set a goal and
22:39
Speaker 1: you know where you want to be, and you have
22:41
Speaker 1: to take the steps to get there. You're not going
22:42
Speaker 1: to get there unless you create that change and nothing changes.
22:46
Speaker 1: If nothing changes, you think about yourself from now in
22:49
Speaker 1: six months time, if you don't change what you're doing,
22:51
Speaker 1: I promise you'll be sitting here in the exact same
22:54
Speaker 1: position that you were six months ago, looking back on
22:56
Speaker 1: your life and going.
22:57
Speaker 3: Damn, I wish I stuck to that habit.
22:59
Speaker 1: Why did I give up with myself so easy just
23:01
Speaker 1: because I didn't feel motivated one day. No, you're better
23:04
Speaker 1: than that. You were above that, and you will do
23:06
Speaker 1: the hard things even if you don't feel like doing it.
23:08
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, oh I love that. And you know what's interesting,
23:11
Speaker 2: it's like it really only counts when you don't want to.
23:15
Speaker 3: Oh isn't that true?
23:16
Speaker 2: Oh?
23:17
Speaker 3: My god? Like the hard hitting truth, Like I'm.
23:19
Speaker 2: Sorry, ladies, but you can do anything when you have
23:23
Speaker 2: high energy, when you're well fed, when you've had eight
23:26
Speaker 2: hours of sleep, you can do anything.
23:28
Speaker 3: You're emotionally regulated and everyone's happy.
23:31
Speaker 2: You're exactly and like everything is going smoothly. Anyone can
23:34
Speaker 2: show up a one hundred percent. So how many of you,
23:38
Speaker 2: including myself, show up when things are really hard, when
23:42
Speaker 2: you've just gone through a breakup, when you just get
23:44
Speaker 2: told that you have to go for surgery, brain surgery,
23:47
Speaker 2: when you don't want to go to the gym, and
23:49
Speaker 2: you committed to creating your dream body, whatever it is,
23:51
Speaker 2: the goal that you're going after, if you can commit
23:54
Speaker 2: to the mindset and say to yourself, it only counts
23:56
Speaker 2: when I do it when it's hard. It only counts
23:59
Speaker 2: when I do it when I don't want to. It
24:01
Speaker 2: only counts when the odds are not in my favor.
24:04
Speaker 2: That's when it's going to mean the most. And if
24:06
Speaker 2: you can count those days instead of the good days,
24:09
Speaker 2: I promise you will see progress.
24:11
Speaker 3: One hundred percent. Isn't that so true?
24:14
Speaker 1: And the more consistent you do that, it's like going
24:16
Speaker 1: to some gym and building a muscle, Like you're building
24:18
Speaker 1: that muscle, that confidence. You're giving yourself evidence that you
24:20
Speaker 1: can push through even when you don't want to.
24:22
Speaker 2: So much evidence.
24:23
Speaker 1: Yeah, otherwise you're going to have a story that I'm
24:25
Speaker 1: always lazy. I always just give up when it gets
24:26
Speaker 1: hard like that. It's just who I am, Like I
24:28
Speaker 1: can't do it. I've never been able to do it.
24:30
Speaker 1: We don't use that.
24:31
Speaker 2: Language here, No, not at all, because what you tell
24:33
Speaker 2: yourself is so important, and you know, like what you're saying,
24:35
Speaker 2: like even going to the gym building your dream body
24:38
Speaker 2: is like it's the surface level thing and that's amazing, right,
24:41
Speaker 2: But the discipline and the self trust and the confidence
24:45
Speaker 2: and the deep rooted like conviction you have in yourself
24:48
Speaker 2: of like I know I can do hard things. Yeah,
24:50
Speaker 2: I know I can show up for myself when nobody
24:53
Speaker 2: else can do it for me. And I'm the only
24:54
Speaker 2: one that I can rely on. That's where true confidence
24:57
Speaker 2: is built from. So true, it's from that. It's not
25:00
Speaker 2: from the pretty dress, so are the earrings. And then
25:02
Speaker 2: while we love those things, it only lives for so long.
25:05
Speaker 2: If you want something that's more of like a longer burn,
25:08
Speaker 2: where your confidence is going to last for the long haul,
25:10
Speaker 2: it's in those things.
25:12
Speaker 1: Yes, I love that too. Like you can do hard things.
25:15
Speaker 1: Who said you can't do hard things? Even if mum, dad,
25:17
Speaker 1: or someone at school or a coworker told you can't
25:20
Speaker 1: do it, Like, they're just words that don't hold anyway.
25:23
Speaker 1: You can do hard things.
25:25
Speaker 2: Even when you say it to yourself. They're just words.
25:28
Speaker 2: It's so true because how many times do we immediately
25:30
Speaker 2: stop ourselves from trying something? Oh but I can't do that,
25:34
Speaker 2: but I'm not capable all but I don't know how.
25:37
Speaker 2: We are the ones to limit ourselves more than anybody else.
25:39
Speaker 2: Oh yes, stories, but they're just words. What if it
25:44
Speaker 2: could be? Like I don't know how, but I'm willing
25:46
Speaker 2: to try. Yeah, I feel fear. I will do it anyway.
25:51
Speaker 1: Yes, I'll try. It doesn't work out, that's also okay,
25:54
Speaker 1: But at least I can look back and go I
25:55
Speaker 1: gave it a.
25:56
Speaker 2: Go absolutely, or I'll learn something from it.
25:59
Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe the experience will be fun.
26:01
Speaker 2: Even if you do something and your quotations fail. Yes,
26:05
Speaker 2: either way exactly.
26:06
Speaker 1: I say.
26:07
Speaker 2: I've said this to myself for years on end and
26:09
Speaker 2: has never strayed me wrong because I say to myself,
26:11
Speaker 2: even if I try and I quotations fail, or if
26:14
Speaker 2: I win, I win and I learned something, or if
26:16
Speaker 2: I fail, I win because I learned something that's so true.
26:19
Speaker 2: So it's like perspective on everything. You can always choose
26:22
Speaker 2: what you take from something, and if you get to determine,
26:25
Speaker 2: like how good it's going to feel or how.
26:26
Speaker 1: Shit it's going to feel, so true. We hope you
26:30
Speaker 1: guys love this episode. Hope it does motivate you and
26:32
Speaker 1: inspire you to really step in and create your plan
26:35
Speaker 1: and get your vision and get really clear on what
26:37
Speaker 1: you want twenty twenty five to be, which you don't
26:39
Speaker 1: want to be sitting here this time next year, being
26:41
Speaker 1: like I could have tried harder, I should have given
26:43
Speaker 1: that a go. Oh my god, that held me back
26:46
Speaker 1: another year. I'm another year older, Like no, no, no,
26:49
Speaker 1: rise above it, Step into your power, have calmed so
26:52
Speaker 1: you can get it done and know that you can
26:54
Speaker 1: do hard things.
26:55
Speaker 2: You don't need to worry about who you've previously been,
26:58
Speaker 2: nothing from today, before, in the past. Nothing matters. Anything
27:03
Speaker 2: that you've previously done. Who you were yes today, who
27:05
Speaker 2: you were a week ago, who you were in twenty
27:07
Speaker 2: twenty four, None of it fucking matters. If you can
27:10
Speaker 2: just focus on today, in the next twenty four hours,
27:13
Speaker 2: and who you want to be in the next twenty
27:14
Speaker 2: four hours, focus on that and do that every single day,
27:18
Speaker 2: and you will progress so much further than what you
27:20
Speaker 2: probably did in the whole of twenty twenty four.
27:22
Speaker 3: So true, you know, all you need.
27:23
Speaker 2: To do is focus on who you're going to show
27:25
Speaker 2: up is today.
27:25
Speaker 1: Absolutely.
27:26
Speaker 2: The whole reason why most people don't achieve their goals
27:28
Speaker 2: is because they think of problems in three years from now.
27:32
Speaker 2: They're preempting problem. What am I going to do when
27:34
Speaker 2: this happens? When I achieve this? What about you know, like,
27:37
Speaker 2: what am I going to do when once I get
27:39
Speaker 2: to this level? All these people are going to say
27:41
Speaker 2: these things about me. You're preempting problems that haven't even
27:43
Speaker 2: happened yet. Yeah, you need to focus on what's happening
27:46
Speaker 2: right now and the step in front of you that
27:49
Speaker 2: matters right now, that's it, That's the only thing that matters.
27:52
Speaker 2: Love that and having fun along the way.
27:54
Speaker 1: Yeah, lots of fun. Thank you so much for listening, guys.
27:57
Speaker 1: I really appreciate I hope you enjoyed this. Don't forget
27:59
Speaker 1: to join in our Facebook forum and we can continue
28:02
Speaker 1: on the conversation. I'd actually love to hear from all
28:04
Speaker 1: of you. You guys have listened to us gas Bag
28:07
Speaker 1: for half.
28:07
Speaker 2: An hour on this.
28:08
Speaker 3: What are your goals? What are your intentions? What are
28:10
Speaker 3: you having to achieve?
28:11
Speaker 1: Is there something you've never done before that you're trying
28:13
Speaker 1: this year? Are you quitting your job, starting in your career,
28:16
Speaker 1: are you ending a relationship that's not aligned? Are you
28:18
Speaker 1: going sky to having I don't know. Let me know
28:20
Speaker 1: what you Let me know what you're up to this year.
28:22
Speaker 1: Come into the forum, let us know. We would love
28:24
Speaker 1: to see and you can see what everyone else is
28:26
Speaker 1: up to as well and help keep each other accountable,
28:28
Speaker 1: which is really cool.
28:30
Speaker 3: Otherwise, we'll see you in the next episode on Friday.
28:32
Speaker 2: For Freaky Friday.
28:35
Speaker 3: It's a gcy one. I can await. I'm excited, Oh
28:38
Speaker 3: my gosh, we'll see that.