Latest / The Rochelle Christiane Podcast / 147. Beyond The Bedroom: How Reconnecting With Your Body Changes Everything

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147. Beyond The Bedroom: How Reconnecting With Your Body Changes Everything · The Rochelle Christiane Podcast

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Rochelle Christiane podcast, formerly the Emotional Mastery podcast.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: I'm Rochelle, your host.
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: I'm here to help you come back to your body, take charge of your emotions and live life on your terms.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: This podcast is a space for raw, real conversations about what it means to trust yourself, lean into your power and create a life that feels aligned and alive.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: We'll explore human design, astrology and other tools to help you understand your unique energy.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: More importantly, though, we're going to talk about what it means to actually live and embody these aspects.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: So each week, I'm going to share stories, lessons, guidance to help you navigate life's challenges and really own your magic.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: So if you're ready to step up, take control and show up as the most authentic version of you, let's begin.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode on the podcast.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: This week, I talked to McKenna Burgess, who is a tantric, shamanic, priestess, embodiment, coach and healer, with a passion for helping others reconnect with their bodies, release shame and live authentically.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: Drawing from extensive training in tantra, somatic practices and shamanic principles, her work blends ancient wisdom with modern tools to create transformative experiences.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: She specializes in guiding individuals through sacred practices such as breathwork, yoga, sound healing and ceremonies designed to elevate self-love, creativity and personal empowerment, with a focus on intentional ceremonial living.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: She helps others turn everyday moments into opportunities for growth, presence and connection.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: Mckenna is based in Athens, georgia, and she offers retreats, workshops, online resources to support people in their healing, and her upcoming embodiment program is designed to help participants reconnect with their bodies, release generational and personal wounds and embrace their fullest selves.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: You can find all of her information down in the show notes, so head over and give her a follow on Instagram, youtube, check out our website all of our offerings.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: I love this conversation.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: I you know, every single time I record a podcast and then I go to edit it, it just feels like the editing process is as impactful as like having the conversation, because more often than not, whatever we talked about is like medicine for my soul right now, in this moment, and I love talking about sex, I love all things related to it.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: I want to normalize it in, you know, a way that maybe we're not used to, so I always really respect and honor and appreciate these conversations on the podcast.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: Tantra is really misunderstood.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: It's not just sex.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: I think that's part of it.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: But what we really talk about in this episode is just like really reclaiming ourselves, our fullest selves and, in that, reclaiming our sexuality, what it looks like, being open to the communication, kind of, I guess, driving the conversation or receiving what you want, receiving your own pleasure, taking responsibility for your own pleasure, because it really is a beautiful thing.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: I know so often we talk about it in this episode, but so often people treat it like it's a business like this time, this place.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: You know we've got 10 minutes and it's really not.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be like that, right, and I think if that works for you, that's great.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: Um, personally, I desire more, and so it's just.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: It's, again, really beautiful conversation.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: I know that you are going to love it, so share it with a friend.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: Share it on Instagram.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: Tag me if you do, rate, review, subscribe, all the beautiful things.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: Follow us both, if you don't, on Instagram, youtube.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: Everything that you need to know is down in the show notes Today when this comes out, thursday.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: So Monday is our full moon in Scorpio and power also begins Monday.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: So if you are looking, if you've been thinking about joining the small group container, it does start on Monday.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: The link is down below and you can use the code TaurusQueen for $200 off this round as my birthday gift to you.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: But Empower is really all about embodiment.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: It's about coming into the body.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: It's about doing the work, rewiring the subconscious and literally finding the path into your body through human design.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: It really is such a beautiful container.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: It's been round, one is coming to a close and it's just been so powerful, so transformational, so I invite you into this next round if it calls to you and man, I've been doing so much embodiment work.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: I've been doing so much healing, because in relationships are our biggest opportunities for healing right.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: Our relationships are our mirrors.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: Our relationships show us where we're still not healed, the work that we need to do, anything that triggers us.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: It's really taking radical responsibility for ourselves and doing that sort of work.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: And one of my biggest challenges has always been really being present in the moment and savoring the moment.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: And I think that, because of the things I've been through, when I have feelings I feel very frantic I guess is the word the best word that I can use where it's like I need more and I need it now because I don't know how long it's going to stay and is somebody going to change their mind or just all these sort of like trauma-based things come up, and so I've really been in this practice of slowing down breathing, calming down, um, and allowing myself to be excited for the moment, for the current phase, because you know, whatever you're going through, whether if you're dating or whatever, whether this person is your person or not, it's like you don't get these phases back.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: It's like being in the moment.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: It's kind of like when your kids grow up and I know with mine, my daughter's just about 15 and I and I think back to when she was a baby and how I was like, oh, I can't wait till she can walk, I can't wait till she can crawl, I can't wait until she can eat solid food, I can't wait until she does this, I can't wait until she swims.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: Instead of just being in the phase that we were in and now that she's older, it's like now I want to be here, but also like, in hindsight, I kind of wish I had been more in the moment.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: Oh, my gosh, I'm at home by myself, my dog's over the door, and it scared me way too much.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: So it's really a practice of having awareness of what's happening, coming into my body and understanding like, yes, my trauma actually does flare up quite a bit, like it is actually really challenging and also I fully trust and have faith that I will find the person that is out there like also waiting for me type of energy, and I don't have to push anything, I don't have to force anything, I don't have to freak out.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: I guess a little bit right, like while I would, because I was just journaling and I was noticing that little the energy coming up inside of me and it's like coming to my journal a lot more, moving my body, having these conversations not like with friends, I'll say being able to find a support and a release for like what I'm moving through, without dumping or projecting or anything like that.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: Being honest, being open and, yeah, allowing myself to acknowledge where I'm at, what I'm experiencing, what I'm feeling, and also knowing this, too, shall pass coming into the moment, being in the moment and allowing myself.
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: This is one trick that I've always done when I feel nervous or excited or scared or sorry.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: When I feel nervous or scared or anxious or whatever, I'll like breathe into it and be like wow, I am so excited, like I'm actually really excited, and so that's sort of what I'm doing with this like nervous sort of energy that I'm having that instead of feeling that I'm like I am so excited to be in this situation, I'm so excited to be talking to this person, I'm so excited to be able to see this person and like to plan for whatever, and so it's just like a little, a little shift that I find works for me.
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: Like I said, if I'm really nervous for something, like a podcast interview or whatever it is, I always try and flip that be like I am so excited, like I'm so excited that I get to do this and if I really am anxious, like I'm so excited that I get to sit with my anxiety and see where it's coming from and do the work on it.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: So it's really that reframe and that mindset shift, because it would be so easy to be like oh my gosh, here we go again and whatever which happens right, but just the ability to like.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: I said I'm like full on.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: I recommitted in such a strong way to my journaling practice of just like when I'm feeling these ways, instead of just walking around and latching onto thoughts and looping beliefs or expressing to people inappropriately like whatever was my past pattern, I'm just writing it.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: I'm just writing it.
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: I'm just writing it and then I'm honoring what the feeling is.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: I'm speaking out loud, whether you want to call it praying, whatever.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: I'm speaking out loud like I'm just so grateful and please give me clarity and, and you know, guide me and help me see and all these different things, and it's really, really powerful.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: And so this conversation was really beautiful as sort of a pathway back into ourselves, right, reclaiming our sexuality, reclaiming our own personal responsibility and just like the healing work and again, like what Tantra is, what Kundalini is and all these beautiful pieces to this sort of work.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: So I thank you for listening.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: Again, follow us both on Instagram, youtube.
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: All the places, all the ways that you can connect are down in the show notes.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: Enjoy the episode and I will talk to you later.
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: Today I have McKenna Burgess, who is a sexologist and somatic therapist, and I am so excited to have this conversation because I think it's such an important topic for, I mean, everyone, but I think, especially what we're going through now collectively and how women are trying or working to come back into their body.
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: This is such a huge piece of that and it's a piece that I think that we don't invite into the conversation a lot of times when we talk about embodiment.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: So I'm so excited If we want to start with, just if you are open to sharing your human design and astrology, just to kind of like give that base and then, um, introduce yourself and, you know, share as much or as little about your story as you would like and kind of you know anything pivotal that got you to where you're at today.
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: Okay yeah, beautiful yeah.
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: So as far as like my human design goes, I don't know a ton, but I know I'm a manifesting generator, so I know I definitely embody that.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: I used to think that I was very like, oh, that's not me.
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: But now, as I go older, I'm like, oh yeah, that was dead on.
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: And then I'm a Pisces and an Aquarius moon and a Virgo rising.
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: So as I grow older, I'm like, oh yeah, no, that's definitely me.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: I love it and yeah, so I'm super excited to connect today and, yeah, I have quite a bit of background just in different modalities that really led me to this place, because I needed so many to get into this place of embodiment and owning who I am and owning that this is my life path and being able to share that with others.
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: And, yeah, with that manifesting generator, like stepping into sharing the word more and like knowing that, like, oh, yeah, I meant to do that um but, yeah, I do a wide range of things.
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: So originally kind of the journey started probably with yoga, and originally it was definitely more of a like quick pace, vinyasa, make sure you challenge yourself, try all these challenges, blah, blah, blah.
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: And now I'm actually a kundalini yoga instructor and it's like totally opposite.
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, you get on the mat for 20 minutes and that was great, amplified, my energy, stretched a little bit, and so, yeah, it's really been a different transformation from the beginning of my journey till now.
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: And it also started kind of about eight years ago pretty more intensely when I became a massage therapist.
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: About eight years ago pretty more intensely, when I became a massage therapist Started really realizing like, oh, my body doesn't always feel that great and I've been totally ignoring that, and so that really sparked my curiosity to just dive deeper and deeper.
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: And about three years ago is when I found Tantra and found even more embodiments.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: And that's really when I was like, oh, I've been doing all these things, but now I have a word to it and that's just continuously led to my shared journey.
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: Really that's what inspired me to become a certified psychologist and be able to recognize that for other people and hold space for other people in these ways.
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: So really my own journey.
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: I knew I'm not the only one feeling this and I know that this information needs to get out there.
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: It was originally more of like I was so curious about myself, and now I'm at a point where I'm like, okay, you got to get all this information out there.
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: Everyone needs this yeah.
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: I feel like that's kind of a little bit.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like that's so like normal part of the journey.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: Right, we find a way to heal ourselves and then we're like wait, we can't stop, like we have to share all of this information because everybody should feel like this.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: You know, and yeah it's, it's interesting with the yoga Cause I remember when I first started working at well, when I first started doing yoga, I was like really heavily working out at the time and so I would go into a yoga class and I'm like, but I don't feel like I'm sweating as much as like I would when I'm running, right, so then I would like run and then go to to a yoga class, so that I was already sweating, like tagging on.
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: But then same thing, like over time I just really got into like the movement and I realized how like stiff I was and I couldn't move this way and my wrists hurt or like these little things.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: So it was like then the slower yoga I found so much use in it and like cause I remember the first time I did yoga I was like this is so boring, I can't hold a pose for like 10 minutes.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: But then, yeah, and then I found, you know, sort of my spirituality along the way and then I started to view yoga and then I became, oh my gosh, I would go to yoga like six days a week and I was obsessed.
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: I just did yoga before I came on here just to like as, like a workout, because now it's, I think I mean, fitness is a whole other thing.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: But, like I know, a lot of people sort of punish themselves through movement rather than, I guess, be more of an embodied experience.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: And I feel like yoga kind of has this beautiful way of like I don't even know if easing you into the like energetics of it, cause like you, just I think you feel it.
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: You know, and it's interesting, at the end of a yoga class I always kind of giggle when, like, I hear everybody that's so uncomfortable in the silence and the stillness, everybody like fidgets and stuff.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: Yes, absolutely.
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: No, it's funny because, yeah, similar like yin yoga used to like make my skin crawl and then I'm like I can't get enough whenever.
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: I look for a like session.
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: I'm like all right.
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: Well, what studio is doing something a little bit more assorted?
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: yeah, can we talk about kundalini yoga for a minute, Cause like I, um, maybe like just starting with like kind of what it is, I've never done one and I know, like I, you know I've been on my journey for a while.
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: Obviously, Like I've I know what like Kundalini is, I've I've heard of it.
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: I've never don't know that I've had an experience myself.
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: The description of the experiences I haven't necessarily had, but like I take like flower essences to activate it, or I'll sometimes be a meditation to activate it, but I don't know that I've like necessarily connected to it in like that kind of like you can't miss it sort of way.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: And I don't know if I'm misunderstanding it, but what would Kundalini yoga look like and how would that benefit us?
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely so.
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: First off, I do want to say that we, when I talk to most people about Kundalini, they have very similar thoughts and views.
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: By all means, some are very profound experiences, but our Kundalini can be in full activation for seconds, minutes, days long, like the process is different for everyone.
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: So just because you kind of haven't had that profound experience, it might have not been as long for you.
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: So I just want to recommend that, you know, but really a lot of, when we're working with energy and moving it, the best tools are breath, sound and movement and that's kind of those core pillars of kundalini yoga.
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: So it's lots of mantras and chanting, begin to really open up different glands in the upper body, if you will, and then lots of also intuitive movements.
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: A lot of people kind of think when you start to do it, it is very forceful.
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: It kind of we get into this masculine, make your body move very quickly, kind of mode.
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: We work a lot with breath of fire and so it becomes very detoxifying and it can be very beneficial in those ways.
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: But it also then recognizes that feminine and allowing you to receive, so it becomes into stillness as well.
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: So a lot of times people think it's kind of more about the forcefulness of moving through a breath of fire and moving through some of those uncomfortable postures and continuous chanting.
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: But then it's really about being in stillness, allowing those subtle energies to be able to move and allow that clearing to happen.
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: A lot of the times when we think of healing, we think of like having to do the hard stuff and Kundalini kind of provides the like move the body.
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: But when we're in that receiving mode, that's really when that energy is clearing itself and really moving through the body as well.
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: So it sounds like getting that energy moving and being able to witness it in that stillness.
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: Absolutely A lot of.
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: It is kind of really being able to connect back with your life force.
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: And we work a lot with the ego, if you will, and the Kundalini yoga and letting go of that and really connecting back with your oneness, as well as the oneness of everything.
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: So what would the, what would the benefit for somebody be to choose like Kundalini yoga?
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely so for me personally.
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: I kind of always recommend it for even beginners that are like, oh, I can't really hold my body weight up, I can't do this stretching this, and that I think it's a really good intro to yoga, because we are working with the multiple limbs of yoga.
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: They have the benefit of really beginning to connect with their body as well as have the detoxification process happen through breath, through the chanting.
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: And I will tell you, even if you're not doing the full class and even if you're just in the room with others or just being in the room with yourself, you can feel an energetic shift.
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: You notice, it's not just about your aura shifting and your energetic shift, you're really starting to shift within the whole space as well.
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: So just a lot of, I guess, energetic benefits to it as well as physical.
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: We're really detoxifying and using kind of our endocrine system so all of our different glands and using our hormones to come back into balance.
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the few times I've I try and be consistent with breath work.
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: I'm terrible at it because it is hard and I do feel it is.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: It is powerful and it's hard, I think, because of what comes through.
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: So there's so many times where I'm like, hmm, should I do a meditation, should I do breath work?
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: And it's like I know that I should do the breath work but I don't.
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: But because it is like those first like however many minutes, it's like your mind is so, so like, okay, what is it going to end?
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: When can we stop?
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: Is it over?
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: Like it's really the, it's really an ego battle and it is challenging to like.
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: I always say like if you listen to one of my Kundalini yoga classes, you'll hear me a million times Just if there's uncomfortability, let's lean into it, because you're right, that's kind of when those profound moments happen.
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: Um, in kundalini we kind of look at our body as having different valves, and so when we're using that breath work and we're leaning into that uncomfortability, that's when we're really opening those up so that our energetic channels are beginning to lift open and become clear again and what is the connection between kundalini and sex?
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: yeah, absolutely.
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: Um, so our kundalini is our life force.
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: It's also our sex energy.
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: It it's the energy of creation, right?
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: So energy.
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: We were created into this world, so it's the energy that brought us in and it also transfers into your creative projects and things like that, as well as your sex energy.
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: So whenever you're kind of in those central sexual states, you're also working with that life force.
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: When you're kind of, you often feel, or you often hear that hot and heavy, because your body literally gets hot, you start to feel a different energy within yourself and that's really all the kundalini activating.
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: So you might not be in an awakening, but you are in activation and so, um, I think a lot of times when we start to learn about kundalini, people are shocked because they've actually worked with it more than they realize.
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: Um, and by all means, we're all born with our own kundalini and so it is sacred to ourselves.
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: But we can also work with others.
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: So that's kind of also when that more sensual and sexual realm become activated so we're working with somebody like a partner.
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: When we're intimate, we'll like feel theirs activated as well yes, you can, of course, by all means.
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: Like when we're so tied to this society, we usually shut down our sensations, so it can be really hard.
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: But when you are intimate and that doesn't necessarily mean in the bedroom it can mean in a lot of different ways.
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: You are feeling into that Kundalini and almost when you're seeing an aura field or you're like when you step into someone's space and you feel that energy, that's a sense also their Kundalini, our Kundalini, is also what's driving our aura field.
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: When we're working with Kundalini yoga, we're trying to kind of clear the aura field but also amplify it in its most purity, if you will.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: And how do we recognize that, if we've stepped into it or if we're sensing that from someone else?
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: yeah, absolutely so.
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: Kundalini kind of oftentimes it can feel like super primal.
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: So when we say that, that can include anger, the feeling of just like maybe not even anger, but just like wanting to scream, or just like different animal characteristics, if you will like wanting to really be close and uptight with someone, if you will, and very up knit with them, that's kind of more of that animal character leaning against skin to skin.
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: So primal characteristics are normal to kind of sense as well as just, um, as physical sensations come, those heat sensations.
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: I almost have kind of cooling run through the body sometimes.
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: And then, yeah, when you're stepping into someone's space, when you are doing like kundalini work, yoga, you literally notice they have a heat bubble around them.
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: It's so interesting.
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: You can be like walking around in a class and someone is very activated.
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: You're like, okay, this corner is very heat sensitive and you know, of course sometimes you connect easier than other days.
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: But yeah, I would say kind of more of those primal characteristics and, um, more of those sensations flowing throughout the body.
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: Sometimes, when we're maybe not in those intimate moments but doing kundalini work for just inactivation, we're also feeling that sensualness but, if you're feeling like you have the call to want to be by your partner or call your partner be close to them in some way, that's definitely a usually a telltale sign of, you know, maybe some activation within your life force.
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I so, like over the summer I usually only read like self-help spirituality, but I went down that whole like aquitar like, like, uh, fantasies book like, and I'm still in it.
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: I'm just like the new series and new series.
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: But my point is like I love how the sexuality within those books is so animalistic and primal, like it's.
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: You know, when you talk about fairies it's like, or witches or anything, especially witches, right, they're so grounded to like the earth and like, so when they're like sexual urges come, it's just, and I think that's something that we are so cut off from and we don't allow ourselves to embody, like.
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: I'm going to use astrology here, but I feel like I've been with quite a few Capricorn moons and it's almost like they treat sex like a business, where it's like okay this is the time.
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: Let's get a condom, let's do it and I'm like, but like, turn me on you know, and I think that so much of us where, whether it's like a time thing or whatever, we've just it's almost been conditioned out of us to embrace that part of ourselves and it's I don't know.
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: I think it's sad, just because I worked to connect to that, you know.
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: And then it's hard to find.
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: I guess it's hard to find partners that are really, really into that and it's a beautiful thing.
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: No, absolutely, and I like that.
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: You kind of brought up that like that in that fantasy, in those fairy tales.
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: Like these people, these characters are very in their grounded mode and in our society, society, we've become so desensitized and we're just moving through and even in the kind of healing world and healing journey and you always hear, like you want to be an ascension, you want to be an ascension, you want to be living in these upper chakras and really like we're bypassing that true primalistic.
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: That's when we're activating our kundalini.
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: And so even our society is like kind of conditioned, like okay, well, we don't want to feel anything, but we just want to think in the highest, and so we've totally just, yeah, scooted away from what the point is of being in our bodies and connecting to like that is ultimately the biggest magic, you know coming from ourselves and so often, yeah, like society has trained us to be looking outside of ourselves for it and, yeah, not being able to be in our root chakra and that's a lot of the work that I do is helping people come back home to their bodies is learning to just open that root chakra.
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: It's almost become calloused for so much of our society now.
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and then I think that you know within that, the way that society has, I guess, feud sex or conditioned us into engaging it, or or I'm not sure what term I'm looking for, but that that sort of idea of like sex is like false intimacy, right, so we're looking for sex, but I think what we're really looking for is intimacy and it's like, even during that, like orgasmic moment, it's like it's like so spiritual, the place to be and to just share that with, like anyone.
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: And then we confuse it, I think, right.
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: Absolutely no.
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: I definitely would agree with that.
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: I think yeah, no, as you kind of mentioned.
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: Also, like a lot of people nowadays think of it transactional and that goes with like time and energy, right, people are like, okay, I'm here, this is enough time and energy that I have, and now I'm done.
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: So, yeah, even when people are in those most spiritual peaks, they're like all right, that was done, great, wrap that up.
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: Now we're over here and like, yeah, not really actually being able to embody that.
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: We have just like so much shame and guilt around, just like being in receiving of that because we need to be doing the next thing, or like having our mind elsewhere immediately.
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: And that's just so common nowadays.
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: And, yeah, a lot of also the work I do is just learning how to slow down learning, but like it's safe to be okay in your body right now.
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: You don't have to go to your next to-do list, you don't have to.
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: Um, a lot of people that I work with also are serving people all the time.
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: So their next thing is like okay, how can I help people the next way?
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: and really just like learning to slow down, that my time is valued but it doesn't need to be transactional and really redefining what intimacy is.
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: A lot of people do think of it only in the bedroom and so, yeah, my one of my favorite quotes is so intimacy is into me.
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: You see, that could be anything, even me, just like letting you know my chart.
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: That's a huge intimacy like moment and people will totally skip over that.
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: They're just like oh yeah that's great Like like no you have.
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: You now have knowledge on me and you don't even like taking the value of it, I guess.
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I completely understand.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: That's why I try.
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: I try and ask if it's okay or if you're comfortable with it, because I know that when someone shares their chart with me, I know what I can see inside of that, you know, and that's it actually.
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: Sometimes becomes a challenge.
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: Not a challenge, but like I've learned to let someone show me rather than see their chart and assume things, cause, of course, everything's, you know, there's always possibilities, but it's hard when I see somebody's chart and I see the potential and I see where they're at and like I'm just like, oh my gosh, but I see, you, you know, but then they, they don't see themselves sometimes and it's like I see those things in you.
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: So I completely understand with with that for sure, like there's so much and I think a lot of people would.
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: Just, you know, some people hear astrology and their eyes gloss over and you know whatever, but but I absolutely understand that it is a huge, um, energetic, like offering, I guess, when you're sharing that with somebody.
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: So yeah, absolutely, and yeah, no.
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: I think a lot of it is just that the value like, yeah, our society has taught us what value is is hustle and success, and everyone gets tied to like what society's success is.
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: And so really learning like, what is what does a successful look like, life look like for you?
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: And redefining that.
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: And yeah, people always think like, oh, I came here to work on my energy and I'm like, yeah, as soon as you can align this, Kundalini, then all this other things fall into place.
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: Like, these are usually just side questions that I ask people to get their minds going and then it just kind of happens naturally for them if that makes sense.
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: So do you feel like connecting with that Kundalini is like a primary factor for kind of unleashing everything else For me personally, it's like what I base almost everything off of.
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: Whether we are like using that knowledge of it or not.
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: We are working kind of just to kind of clear those energetic channels which, working with our life force and our chakras.
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: And then in my work we believe, like you know, the deeper we connect with ourselves, the further we're able to connect with others.
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: But that also means the world around us, so everything's a mirror of us.
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: You know, if we're not liking whatever is going on out here, then time to go in here, and a lot of people don't realize that.
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: You know it's scary to sit in your body when you have not ever before and you have only just been living on the outside, people don't realize how much pain they've been in physically and things like that.
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: And when you start to realize that you're like I want to go back you know, and so it can definitely be a struggle to even watch.
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: You know some clients and things like that.
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: It's like this is painful now and I'm like I know and it's super painful to look in the mirror, but you're doing the work and we're grateful for it just because you know not a lot of people are and I think there gets to a point I I've I feel like, yeah, I've been on my journey for almost eight years and it's only been until the last like year or two that I can say that.
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: Now, when I get to those points, I get excited, cause I'm like, oh, I get to see something else new about myself, as challenging as it is Right.
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: But in the beginning it's like it is so overwhelming I cried, like I used to pride myself that I never cried.
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: I would like you know all these things.
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: And then, as soon as I like opened it up cause, like I'm a Leo moon, I have in human design, I'm emotional authority, so my emotions are like everything and I suppressed that for so long that I brought like the first two years that I like opened myself up.
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: I cried every single day.
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: I was like does it ever end?
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: This is so overwhelming, but yeah, but now it's like when I have to cry, I just love myself.
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: I'm like you know, and I have two kids and sometimes I'm like are you okay?
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: I'm like just letting it out.
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: It's like it's not even that big of a deal now.
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: It's just like I just have to release it and then move on.
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: But yeah, I was talking to somebody recently and he was saying his brother, I guess, has alcohol issues and a whole bunch of things, but his brother had to quit drinking for, I think, legal reasons or something.
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: And he called him and he was like this is so hard to have to face myself now, right After like decades of avoiding through things like alcohol, and I can't even imagine to that extent.
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: But yeah, I feel like a lot of people do.
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: It's like we're always doing the busy work so that we don't sit with ourself Like if I'm ever sitting at home and I'm like, huh, what can I do?
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: Now?
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: I'll be like, just take two minutes and just sit Like you don't have to do anything, right, just trying to cause as a manifesting generator.
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: I know my energy is so fast, so I know like that was probably a lesson for you, right, to not be like busy all the time and to be okay with the slowness.
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: And even I feel like the way that I talk.
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: Now I try and slow it down Cause I'll be like, but then it's like no, let's think about what we're saying and let's really be intentional?
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, In the last few years, and particularly yeah, I want to recognize that you know that's growth for you, that's awesome that you're able to create that space and you're leading by example for your kids.
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: You know that's we need.
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: We definitely need more of that, I think, as generations go on.
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: You know we're not just dealing with our traumas, we're dealing with our parents traumas and their traumas that were put on them, you know.
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: So it's so important to lead by example, um, and I would definitely say even I sometimes am reminding myself you're right, it's a big lesson for me.
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: Like I have to schedule in breaks because otherwise I oh, go, go, go, go, go, go, go go, and in particularly, yes, in the last couple of years, I definitely speak slower and when I am in my fast mode I'm like, okay, there's a young part of me and they're very excited about this.
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: You know, um, but it's still just a continuous.
• 35:27
  Speaker 2: You know, like, just because you have the tools, you gotta remind yourself and then you catch yourself, and it doesn't mean that it doesn't happen, it just means that you're quicker to catch yourself and kind of re-correct, you know, yeah, or quicker to like.
• 35:41
  Speaker 3: Steer yourself back if you've been a little too far to one side.
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely.
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: Can we talk about um, like the energy with, like sexual trauma and cause, even if it's?
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: You know, I get big T, little T, even if it's just conditioning from society and, you know, avoiding things, how we sort of come back into ourselves if we've experienced something like that yeah, absolutely.
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: Um, so, definitely, being someone coming from like sexual trauma, when you have triggers, I highly recommend like kind of having your go-to thing for me, um, because I my work is so heavily based on kundalini breath, sound and movement.
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: Um, I play like crystal sound bowls so sometimes, like you know, you have a trigger, that's your go-to.
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: You've got to find those things that are going to self-soothe, um, that's what I highly recommend.
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: But if you can't like be anywhere and do anything, breath, breath is an immediate something that can change.
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: And I want to recognize, like even you were mentioning earlier, sometimes you like steer away from the breath work, even when we're in meditation.
• 36:59
  Speaker 2: As long as we're being intentional with breath, like that's breath work to me, and and I always tell clients that too, because I was the same way of like, oh, I should do like a breath work session this week or something like that, and you end up like getting down on yourself.
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: But really, as long as you're bringing intention into it, it changes everything, you know, and I definitely would say, when you're in these kind of active places um, I obviously work with people that have like sexual trauma when it's immediately triggered in a bedroom it's important to know, like who you're with, to be able to have that communication or just like know that you're with someone.
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: That's in the respect like hey, stop now and allow you to have that space and what it means.
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: What I'll say from my personal experience is it is not easy, and with different partners it might take different things, and so over the years, my self-soothing has absolutely changed.
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: And again, just because I know these traumas doesn't mean that these triggers don't happen.
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: It just means that I'm able to help myself a little bit quicker, like moving into breath work, either stopping where I am or realizing that I can come back into it, or maybe not at all.
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: And yeah, I work a lot on learning what is self soothing for someone because, because you're sitting in yourself as hard.
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: Helping yourself is harder too.
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: A lot of the times like we get into that place and then learning how to help yourself becomes that next level of even like the journey you know, and so, yeah, it takes just a lot of like self-reflection, self-communication, and I would say personally, for me, my most immediate tool is breath, always compounds the breath.
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: It's something that will immediately connect you to your body and you have to remind yourself that you're not in that space, in that place anymore.
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: Um, the brain is literally wired to put us back into that space, in that place, so it will literally I mean I know I used to have literally, almost as if it was flashbacks the whole room would change you know, um, and nothing like being able to close my eyes and start breathing and
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: then remembering myself, reminding myself like, oh, this is today's date now and oh, this is where you are, and it definitely takes back, or it takes to going all the way back.
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: For sure I think a lot of people think, oh, I know about this trauma, I know about about my trigger.
• 39:42
  Speaker 2: It should just be like super easy, I can just jump out of it.
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: And even with years of work, sometimes it just hits that simple nerve in your body and it takes you all the way back.
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: And so really having grace with yourself and that happens too- yeah yeah.
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: I had one specific thing that I thought I had moved past and then I was with, like my most recent partner and he did something that out of nowhere, like triggered it, and I just started sobbing and I was like, where did it come from?
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: I was, I mean, luckily he was very safe person that I could kind of articulate that like in the moment, like give me a second second, you know.
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: But then afterwards I was like I wonder what the energetics like, what was the thing that had my body all of a sudden remember that you know is yeah, absolutely, and sometimes I want to recognize that it's maybe not even something that that person did.
• 40:38
  Speaker 2: It's something that, um, as you mentioned, you're, you're already doing yoga.
• 40:44
  Speaker 2: You might have brought something up from your nervous system, from your fascia, because our bodies are sponges, so we even hold trauma from birth in our bodies.
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: Still, and even though you might not be able to like connect with it in this lifetime, it's still within you and so, who knows, you might not be able to like connect with it in this lifetime, it's still within you and so, who knows, you might have activated something in meditation.
• 41:06
  Speaker 2: It brought it up close to the surface, and then he might have, or your partner might have just touched your skin in the right way, or the air might have hit your skin in the right way.
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: It really just it could be so many different things.
• 41:21
  Speaker 2: I think a lot of times, I know, at the beginning of my journey, I always wanted to narrow down what was it, what happened, what was said, and I want to recognize sometimes it's not always that it's a combo of things.
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: It's really hard to kind of go back and narrow it down exactly, but, of course, kind of being able to sit through that you kind of are able to recognize.
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: Okay, this is what I'm feeling from it at least, and that's kind of key, you know yeah, I had to eventually like let it go, because I was like I'm I don't know that I'll be able to figure out exactly what it was.
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: You know that that came up, but I feel like I handled it pretty well, like in the moment, and was able to move through it, you know.
• 42:02
  Speaker 2: But yeah, it's interesting and it's recognizing it and then trying to restate yourself, not overanalyzing, coming with our monkey brain, and then, oh, I can do that, yeah, exactly, and then just kind of putting ourselves in even more narrow box about it, you know yeah, I um, it's can be almost like overwhelming when you think about how much we store.
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: That's not even necessarily ours, you know, like you said you, we hold things in our body just like from birth, from our mothers from, and I like, and that's why I think sometimes this work can be overwhelming, because it's not like we're just doing the work from now.
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: You know, like I've had things come up from my childhood that I don't remember, that I know weren't even intentionally meant to traumatize me, you know.
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: But I'm like then you connect the dots and you're like, oh my gosh, that's why x bothers me now, or like, whatever it's, yeah, it's, it's absolutely trauma is.
• 43:07
  Speaker 2: Um, yeah, I work a lot with it.
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: We don't realize, like, how much sexually we're withholding because of trauma and things like that often.
• 43:16
  Speaker 2: But trauma just means our needs aren't getting met, and so that could look like so many different things and even just our parents like they were doing their best but they maybe were not able to meet our need at that moment, and so it becomes trauma.
• 43:31
  Speaker 2: And so, yeah, there's some things that I know that have come up and I'm like, why am I even like that's not even that traumatic.
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: And then I have to recognize, like, but that was trauma for me then and I like being able to work through it now.
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: And we actually store up to nine generations of trauma within us and so, yeah, you're not even doing the work for just yourself or your most recent parents or your most recent grandparents, like their grandparents and their grandparents and beyond, and so, yeah, it can get confusing when you're like, why do I feel like this?
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: and then eventually something will click and be like, okay, that was not even mine, but I'm glad I'm able to work through it now, you know yeah yeah, and that's what motivates me to like continue to do the work, cause my daughter's 14 and she's dealing with a lot of mental health things and I know that part of it has their own experiences, part of it is my experiences, part of it is my mom and my grandmother Right.
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: So I want to help her so much and also I can only help her as much as she wants to help herself.
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: So that's where I kind of have to be.
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: I have to focus harder on my work, because when I'm doing my work I am helping her, whether she realizes it or not, you know, and so I brought that up.
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: That's so powerful because we're doing so much work.
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: When we're working on ourselves, it's not just us.
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: And yeah, like I said, you're leading by example and like that's what we need most right now.
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: Like I know for myself, I'm going through the process of reparenting myself, but yeah, that's also not only helping myself, it's inspiring to my sister, it's inspiring to my mom as well, so I'm affecting generations ahead as well.
• 45:19
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 45:20
  Speaker 2: So, just doing your own work, it becomes a ricochet, no matter what.
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah for sure.
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: What is like this kind of big question?
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to like figure out how to refine it, because it's like I know that like this, I mean this work is so powerful, Right, so it's like I guess what is the benefit of then reclaiming our sexuality and what is that?
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: I mean I know we've talked about being in our energy and doing this work and things like that.
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: But I guess, yeah, yeah, reclaiming your body.
• 45:53
  Speaker 2: I mean it really means living your most authentic life.
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: When we're able to reclaim our body, we're understanding again.
• 46:01
  Speaker 2: When these triggers come up, we're immediately able to sense into our bodies, tell it that it is safe, tell it that we're in a different place, and be able to move from a place of safety creates our most authentic life.
• 46:18
  Speaker 2: I mean, with trauma running us and those blockages, we're coming from a place of kind of scarcity or fear or whatever it may be, and we have these parts of us kind of managing the way we want our lives to turn out so that we think it's going to be the best way, but we're really not coming from our most authentic parts.
• 46:38
  Speaker 2: Um, we're not living our most authentic parts.
• 46:41
  Speaker 2: We're not living our most authentic life and our truth.
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: It's so typical that I work with shame and guilt and fear.
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: Those are the big topics that I work with within the womb space, if you will, and I'll say from my own personal experience now, being able to move in from in my body and move from my womb, I am more successful.
• 47:04
  Speaker 2: Originally I was like you have to do this and it will be this way and this will be the outcome.
• 47:11
  Speaker 2: And I was really just shutting off my body because my body was really sending me like a ton of red flags, like no, no, no, no, stop.
• 47:19
  Speaker 2: That's not what you should do.
• 47:20
  Speaker 2: You should actually rest and totally forget everything you said kind of a deal, you know.
• 47:27
  Speaker 2: And now I would say I'm by far much more successful.
• 47:32
  Speaker 2: I'm um have way more value with my time and again living my most authentic truth.
• 47:41
  Speaker 2: It doesn't mean that these things don't come up and I don't have to not work through them.
• 47:46
  Speaker 2: It just means that I'm able to sit my body a little bit better while they do happen and then realize like okay, this was fearful because in the past some things didn't work out if I did it like this, or if previously I used to do it like this and so it felt good, like this, but just recognizing things change and shift.
• 48:08
  Speaker 2: So my body's trying to tell me now like okay, now that's not really suiting you.
• 48:11
  Speaker 2: So I mean really just being able to be in your body.
• 48:17
  Speaker 2: You're also living in your most authentic truth and living a more pleasurable life doing that right.
• 48:25
  Speaker 2: I mean if we're trying to always live society's truth or whatever they think of the path that we should be on, we're really just keeping ourselves further and further away from pleasure, even just those everyday pleasures.
• 48:41
  Speaker 2: I know for myself I was living a very mundane kind of style and I woke up and it felt successful, if you will, but it didn't feel very pleasurable in life.
• 48:52
  Speaker 2: I wasn't like waking up and like, yes, I get to do this and this is the life I get.
• 48:57
  Speaker 2: And, yeah, being able to like work with my family, live in my body and work from my heart, life feels more vibrant.
• 49:07
  Speaker 2: I mean, it feels like when I wake up, it is, it's a blessing, it's not a, you know, like, oh man, you know, often we hear about that Monday feeling like for sure, everyone has those thoughts and things like that still, but then I'm able to get on the mat and I start connecting with my energy again, like it's almost an immediate shift.
• 49:32
  Speaker 2: I'm like I get to have this.
• 49:34
  Speaker 2: I'm in this place, you know, and, um, now I'm in a place of like being able to share that.
• 49:41
  Speaker 2: But that came from learning what I wanted to do.
• 49:45
  Speaker 2: I didn't know if I wanted to share that, but now I'm in a place, and I was.
• 49:49
  Speaker 2: You know, my energy told me this is where we should shift to, and, um yeah, so I'm living a more authentic being, and self and life really I love that.
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I, I teach embodiment through health and human design.
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: That's sort of my like avenue, but it's, I think, that the idea of defining success for yourself is because we're all so different.
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: We all have different energy types, like like you know all of that and I feel the same way, especially, you know, as as a sacral being which I feel like it's so connected to the Kundalini right that makes so much sense, and that is something that you feel very called to, but also as the generator type, like finding that excitement in what you do because sort of the same like I used to get up in the morning and my first thought was like, oh, I want to go back to bed.
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: Oh, I don't want to go to work, oh my God, I'm so tired.
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: It was so negative.
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: I would catch myself in that negative like thought and now I wake up and I can just visualize my day, or I visualize a podcast episode, or it's so different the energy between, oh my God, I have to do this to waking up and be like, oh my God, I'm so excited I get to like talk to people today and I get to do this and it's such a beautiful thing.
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: But it did shift that like, okay, I don't want to work corporate nine to five and make a hundred grand.
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: That doesn't excite me, like I, like you know it would be cool to travel the world and have all this excess of money, but I don't want to work my life doing something I don't value.
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: So like having to have that shift.
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: And then, on top of it too, you know something that you said to like your body will always tell you and I think that which is such a big part of this conversation, you know being so disconnected from it, whether it's sexuality, whether it's just like the energetics or what your body's telling you.
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: Because I remember in my like I was in an abusive relationship and I ignored my body so hard and it got to the point where, like I had so many gynecological issues, like I was constantly at the doctor and she's like I don't know what's wrong.
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: She's like nothing's actually wrong but like I don't know why this keeps reoccurring and as soon as I got divorced, never experienced again in my life.
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: So it was like my body like sexually, literally, was screaming at me like get, like was trying to push him out and keep him like away.
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: It was wild.
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: I so it's.
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: I'm one that in itself was like wow, my body was literally.
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: It started quietly and I didn't listen.
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: Then I got louder and then it was just like I'm, we're going to do it for you, you know, if you're not going to listen to us.
• 52:11
  Speaker 1: So really, really, yeah, and that's why I think this work is so powerful to come in and like really be able to listen to yourself and be attuned to yourself, and I think even wrapping it, you know, into sex, like being able to be that attuned to not only your body but if you're with a partner or you know, that sort of like energetic flow is so beautiful and we don't often experience it, you know, as much as I feel like we could, and it's the best experience.
• 52:41
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 52:42
  Speaker 2: I think a lot of um my own journey was learning to give myself permission, especially coming from sexual trauma.
• 52:51
  Speaker 2: I mean, it was something that I told myself I need to do in a relationship.
• 52:57
  Speaker 2: So you've got, I mean, that's just what you do, but it wasn't that enjoyable for me, um, or it was something that I oversought like.
• 53:06
  Speaker 2: I just was like this is all I need, this is like, and learning that I could give myself permission, to allow myself to receive pleasure and just receive, in general learning to give myself permission, that was a big game changer for me and what I share with others.
• 53:23
  Speaker 2: Um, so often we just won't give ourselves permission because, yeah, we are in that fast, fast-paced mode with society and what is the next success that I can have and how are we measuring ourselves?
• 53:37
  Speaker 2: And it's never about how much pleasure like, how much how pleasurable can you make your life?
• 53:44
  Speaker 2: and so that's definitely how pleasurable can you make this moment is a question that often tell clients ask themselves when they're struggling, um, and it begins to shift and transfer to all day and all the time.
• 53:59
  Speaker 1: You know can we like pause on that, specifically with sexuality, and then like even kind of broadening it to like everything else Cause I love that question because I think there's so many women that I speak to that like don't have orgasms in their relationships or don't even know what it's like, and it I mean it's.
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: It's, I think, like you said, it's the fact that we're not allowing ourselves to know that we can have pleasure in this too, and it's like how do we shift that and allow ourselves to experience something that we haven't experienced before?
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: That is possible for us.
• 54:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 54:32
  Speaker 2: So I would say, for me personally, what really did the shift was near work.
• 54:37
  Speaker 2: It definitely is just a lot of personal inner work, being able to tell yourself that it is okay and by all means sometimes it doesn't.
• 54:47
  Speaker 2: You know, it's a journey.
• 54:48
  Speaker 2: It might feel really good for a really long time and then you might have that moment where you're like, no, it doesn't really feel that great right now, you know.
• 54:55
  Speaker 2: You might have that moment where you're like, no, it doesn't really feel that great right now, you know.
• 55:03
  Speaker 2: But for me, giving myself permission took me looking at myself in the mirror over and over and over and doing so.
• 55:07
  Speaker 2: And when it comes to kind of more of like female side of like, yeah, I can't tell you how many women I've talked to that haven't had an orgasm or have had an orgasm but not with a man and won't go deeper in on their own exploration to kind of find what works for them, and I do like try and acknowledge, you know, everyone is responsible for their own pleasure.
• 55:29
  Speaker 2: So it took for me to look in the mirror and be like, okay, is actually what I like.
• 55:35
  Speaker 2: And again, it's hard to look in the mirror, and sometimes it's hard to look in the mirror while you're naked.
• 55:42
  Speaker 2: You know, it's definitely not like an easy journey at all, but what I would say is that I became my safe zone doing that and something when I work with clients, like mirror work is one of the number one homework that I give all the time and in different ways, and what I would say is it just takes self-curiosity and going into yourself and that looks.
• 56:10
  Speaker 2: That means looking at yourself, whether it be in a mirror, just in general, being implicit in your own body, and a lot of self-grace and love, because we do have those immediate parts of ourselves that are like, oh, this is shameful, oh, I hear, oh, you're wasting your time all the time.
• 56:30
  Speaker 2: That's some of those trying to get me away and get me out of my own body all the time you know, again, just because I do this work doesn't mean that I don't run into those things and um, yeah, there's just, you know, you got to sit with yourself and remind yourself and give yourself that permission.
• 56:51
  Speaker 2: And a lot of it for me was mirror work and mantras until I kind of rewired the brain.
• 56:57
  Speaker 2: But I definitely recommend mirror work the more that we are seeing we're actually beginning to kind of rewire in the brain.
• 57:07
  Speaker 2: So it's really important and I highly also recommend kind of any way you can engage the senses.
• 57:14
  Speaker 2: It's one of the reasons why I fell into Tantra.
• 57:17
  Speaker 2: But again, when we're actually engaging any kind of sense, we're rewiring the brain even more.
• 57:22
  Speaker 2: And so, yeah, you know, with somatic work, that's kind of really important when we're dropping in so kind of small recommendations, but it definitely takes a lot of praise.
• 57:39
  Speaker 1: As a Taurus, I definitely like activating the senses that, to me, is so important, and I know a lot of men.
• 57:48
  Speaker 1: I mean I think obviously, okay, this is rewind, it's so important to do that in our work, for sure.
• 57:53
  Speaker 1: And like being able to communicate that, and I know I've spoken to a lot of men that it's like oh my gosh, you need how much time or you need this.
• 57:59
  Speaker 1: It's like I guess it goes back to that conversation at the beginning where it's such like a business.
• 58:02
  Speaker 1: So how are we I mean beyond like do our own work?
• 58:07
  Speaker 1: I mean, in conversations like this are so important, because sharing this with people and allowing people to listen to it, or maybe sharing with their partner, is powerful, because I think that there needs to be a complete like rewiring of the view, whereas when you bring up to a man like I need foreplay or I need this, and they're just like oh, 40 minutes is what you expect me to do, that every single time.
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: And it's like well, first of all, like you can, I feel like there's so many different ways you can text me throughout the day.
• 58:31
  Speaker 1: Send me a picture.
• 58:31
  Speaker 1: You're activating my senses by like for me visually or painting a picture.
• 58:36
  Speaker 1: But people don't often want to like, engage like that.
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: They just put in that quick, like I'm like.
• 58:41
  Speaker 1: This isn't intimacy.
• 58:43
  Speaker 1: I've learned that it's not.
• 58:44
  Speaker 1: I used to accept anything.
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: It's like what, do you want to give me a cake?
• 58:46
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 58:46
  Speaker 1: But I think the more I become embodied and maybe because I'm becoming more embodied, I'm attracting more people that are open to that.
• 58:54
  Speaker 1: But absolutely.
• 58:57
  Speaker 2: You know you're kind of changing your frequency as well.
• 58:59
  Speaker 2: It sounds like you're drawing men in, but yeah, I would say, with that, the biggest thing is getting a conversation going.
• 59:06
  Speaker 2: It is so unrecognized by men that, yeah, we are actually detrimental to our like, our wounds, our vaginas if we are not having about 20 minutes of warm-up, because it takes about 20 minutes to orgasm.
• 59:26
  Speaker 2: So we should be having about that same time to warm-up and be feeling into ourselves and our bodies beforehand.
• 59:32
  Speaker 2: The woman moves from her heart.
• 59:36
  Speaker 2: That's what opens her womb space.
• 59:38
  Speaker 2: Yes, that's very commonly well known and yes, the man is a little bit more directed with, you know, his private part and that opens up his heart.
• 59:48
  Speaker 2: So it's kind of like a catch-22.
• 59:50
  Speaker 2: But I think opening up the conversation is key and yeah, I think a lot of it is like because women are scared to own their own orgasm and own their own pleasure.
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 2: It's so hush-hush with men.
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 2: Still it's, it's super.
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 2: I understand it's super hard to start the conversation.
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 2: You know it's something that you're like oh what, why can't he just cater to that?
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 2: Why doesn't he understand?
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 2: But I can't tell you now, being in this line of work in the last few years, how when I start the conversation I just drop some women facts.
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 2: Men are like immediately jaw drop, like wait what it takes women that long and oh, this and that and it's like we're just really uninformed we have not started the right conversations around sex, and that includes like in schools.
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 2: I know for myself it was like fifth grade and it was very anatomical and that was it, and there wasn't.
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 2: I didn't have like a sex, really a sex conversation with my parents.
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 2: I remember my mom being like, okay, you're gonna go on birth control because I had a older boyfriend, but it wasn't like there was no information around it.
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 2: Everything that I know was definitely like self-experience and now either self-taught or learn through courses and so, as hard as it is, I definitely would say it starts with starting the conversation yourself and there's a lot of like great um, I guess only one's coming to mind right now but there's just like different avenues that you can look up as couples that will bring in different tools to try different new ways and different things and teach about, learn about like positive communication and active listening and things like that.
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 1: So there's definitely more tools nowadays, but it takes the conversation to be started, to go searching for it together are there um like, because we're talking about like heterosexual couples at the moment, but do you find that non-heterosexual couples still have like not the same issues, but that I mean, I don't know I'm trying to word it like the same sort of issues, with maybe orgasm or time or for the most part, I would say it's like less common.
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 2: But I feel like that has to do with like it's a little bit more common to have better communication when you're in a same-sex couple or whatever it may be.
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 2: Um, and this is just from what I've witnessed.
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 2: By all means, that doesn't necessarily mean any like that is the only thing.
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 2: By all means, sometimes, like withholding orgasm again, it has nothing to do with the person, it might just be in their trauma, and so it can be a range of things.
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 2: But I would say that typically with a heterosexual couple, things are a little bit more hush, hush on different ends.
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 2: Whatever it may be, like we're just not really as quick to be as open.
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 2: I guess in some ways, um, just because I feel like a lot of it does have to do with misogyny, just men idolizing women but it's not that women don't do the same thing to men and so we kind of put each other in these categories and the moment that we think that, like, we want to talk to our partner about not being in that category or like oh, I don't actually embody this as much as like maybe you think it becomes kind of that revert back to trauma, like, okay, society told me this and so, but by all means like again, just because you were opposite sex couple or same sex couple.
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 2: It does have same issues, but being able to communicate a little bit more, I would say, is a little bit different in the heterosexual realm.
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that makes sense.
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that I know.
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 1: For my own journey it's just been like really feeling safe in my safe and like confident in my body to be able to communicate those things and that you know, kind of like, what this podcast has been about.
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 1: It's just a lot of work to get to that place where you're okay with whatever the response is, you know from somebody else absolutely.
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 2: Um, I actually do um like a no exercise and I will have like clients go and just everything they do that weekend or whatever, like they have to say no like they cannot it doesn't matter, like even if you want to go do something.
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 2: That's what I tell people like this is a weekend about no and being able to like sit with that and like it's very interesting just to hear the responses and like even myself, like when you say no to something, you want like sit with that excitement.
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 2: It is training your body.
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 2: It's training that body like sometimes it's not excitement, sometimes it's anger and things like that, and so you're able, you're creating more resiliency and then you're also standing up with more confidence when you don't want to do something.
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 2: You have like that connection and, um, that remembering in the body a little bit more, if you will.
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I always try and tell my kids I'm like like no is a complete sentence, cause my kids be like well, but this.
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 1: Or, if you want me to, I'm like no, if it's no, it's no, like you don't need to make excuses.
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: And there I'm, like I call myself a recovering people pleaser and I still struggle with it to this day.
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 1: But I spent my life saying yes when I didn't want to, and so I really try and support them and being like you don't have to explain yourself, like I don't care if it's to your grandmother, to me, to like your teacher, if it's a no, it's a no.
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 1: Like you can be respectful and polite about it, but like you don't have to say yes.
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 1: So I love that.
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 2: That's a powerful no.
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 2: I love that the sentence is a no like that's a full sentence.
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think so often people I grew up in the era like you always went and kissed your family goodbye, always give them a hug, goodbye.
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 2: And like now I'm recognizing like I didn't have a choice then and so it's just like I definitely will be modeling different when I have children, just because it has a long impact on our adult life as well that we just don't recognize.
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well, and I think like a big one too is is food and that same sort of like.
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 1: You know I grew up, yeah, you had to eat everything on your plate.
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 1: You had to do this and like it didn't matter how big of a portion it is.
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 1: And I know it drives certain people crazy when, like my, allow my kids not to finish their meal because I want them to trust their body.
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 1: Like, if you're not that hungry, then the lesson needs to be like, well, don't take so much food if you're not that hungry, you know.
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 1: Or like, or with my son, cause he's the he's, he's the King of just taking, like not eating, his meal, but I'll like leave it out, cause I know he's going to get hungry later, you know.
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 1: So I'm like, if you get hungry later, heat that up or whatever, because I overate for so long, even though I wasn't hungry, like my body was stuffed and I would still be eating, because it was just that in my head where, like, you have to finish everything, you have to.
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 1: And then it becomes like this thing, and I think that we're along that way, abandoning ourselves into trusting what our body is telling us, and I think I mean like all of this really, you know, is coming into our body, whether it's sexuality, food, health, any of that.
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 1: I think being inside your body and really listening to it is like the key to all of it.
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, yeah, absolutely and yeah no.
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 2: I I also struggled with like relationship with food because, yeah, I grew up in that era where it's like yeah, this or nothing and so you're like, okay, I gotta eat this, you know, and you have to eat now, and so yeah, no, it's been a very interesting journey to recognize, like um, picking up the practice of like yeah, you don't have to over stuff yourself.
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 2: Or like, yeah, you can come back for more.
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 2: So like, I love that you're giving at least your kids a choice.
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 2: Like that's very important and that does help them.
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 2: The more that you're giving them a choice, the more that they're sitting with their body.
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 2: I always tell people you know our body knows best.
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 2: So if you just give it like the time and space to listen, and a lot of the times like when we're reacting subconsciously like okay, that's a message from the body, you know what's coming up there.
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, my daughter was like seven when I came into this work, so I think a lot of her issues stem from zero to seven.
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 1: But my son was so young that I noticed how aligned he is to himself and just like the practice like me, like urging him to like if you want to eat, like food with your hands or like all these things I just like people call him like the wild child and I'm like he is, but I also noticed how much he triggers people because he is himself and not a lot of people are.
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I was just going to say, cause they're so scared of them themselves, that it's like, yeah, no, it is very um interesting working with, like, some clients that have younger kids and then some that have older kids.
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 2: It's um, the dynamic around it is very different and, yeah, like almost the brutality that some of these parents are getting from letting their kids be in this freedom mode and listen to themselves is, um, that's harsh in itself for, like, as a parent, you know it's hard to kind of like take that brutality from everyone else.
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 2: But yeah, no, I commend you for doing that because you are creating, like more strength for himself with himself, and yeah, that is what we need in this world.
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 2: You know, otherwise, we're always going to be answering like the same system and the same process and, um, I mentioned earlier about like living in a more vibrant world is what it feels like for me and like I often describe it like it would just be black and gray, like it would just always be black and gray.
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I have just a couple of questions in, like wrapping it up.
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 1: But so what would you say?
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 1: Because it's the emotional mastery podcast, I always kind of ask a little bit about emotions, but what would you say?
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 1: Your relationship with emotions has, how it's evolved like from the beginning of your journey until like now, and how has that really come into play with all this work?
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely.
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 2: So I would say, you know, originally, like I said, what set me on my path was probably yoga, and I was getting into a calmer state, but more often.
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 2: But that wasn't really helping, if that makes sense.
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 2: And really learning how to sit in my body and recognize where these emotions were coming from and kind of point them out, that's what really started to do, that shift of owning my emotions rather than letting them own me if you will.
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 2: And so really in my own journey, I would honestly say again about three years ago.
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 2: That's when the embodiment of the shift started to happen, like a lot of this work and knowledge had been there.
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 2: I even was like helping others, sharing it.
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 2: But the embodiment really came about three years ago and yeah, like you said, you even talk slower now, like I can feel the shift and just by the way, my personality has shifted as well.
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that.
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 1: And then the final question to have is, like what is one thing that you wish like everybody could know about?
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 1: You know whether it's their body or sexuality, or the combination of both.
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I wish that everyone would know that it's safe to give themselves permission, and permission to receive or not to receive.
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 2: I think also sometimes in this journey, like I was like why don't you?
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 2: Want to receive right now.
• 1:11:48
  Speaker 2: Why don't you receive and almost beat myself up about that, um and working with others with sexual trauma.
• 1:11:55
  Speaker 2: It's like they beat themselves up about it not almost being normal, because, yes, it is a normal human trait, but just because you don't want it doesn't mean you're not normal, so definitely that it goes both ways.
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 2: Giving yourself permission, though.
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah Well, thank you so much for being here, for sharing and sharing your energy.
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 1: You have such a beautiful, like calming energy, and so I think that's a testament to like the work that you've done and everything that you've, you know, achieved, and so I'm so grateful that you were here to share and, if you want, to let everyone know if there's something that you're working on or where they can find you as well yeah, thanks so much for having me, of course, and yeah, no, feel free to find me either on Instagram or YouTube.
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 2: At Twantrika McKenna, I'm releasing kind of Kundalini Yoga flows different kind of yoga flows as well as ceremonies on YouTube, and then I have kind of daily tricks on Instagram and I definitely recommend giving a follow for that or checking out my website, and I am going to be launching a six-week program soon for embodiment.
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 2: So definitely, if you're interested in learning how to own in your body and sitting with these emotions and we'll be sharing kind of a little bit about the kundalini and how to work with it in that program as well I'll be posting that about, or about that on Instagram and on my website.
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 1: Beautiful.
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much, and of course I'll have everything linked in the show notes so everybody can just go down and click it.
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 2: Beautiful, awesome and yeah, thank you so much for having me.
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 2: It was wonderful to connect.
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're welcome.