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Transcript

How Gratitude can Up-Level The Fertility Journey · Love and Science Fertility

• 0:32
  Speaker 1: Hi, my friends, it's me again.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: This week we're going to talk about gratitude and the tremendous effect that being grateful authentically grateful can have in terms of helping us ground ourselves and have a sense of perspective as we undergo the fertility journey.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: So my personal story is that about five years ago, during a very difficult time of my life, my best friend asked me if I would be her gratitude buddy, and I was not sure what she meant at all, but she sent me an article that these two women friends had been sending each other three gratitudes a day for a while and that they were both not only starting to feel better, but that it gave them an opportunity to connect with each other every single day and just know what was happening in each other's lives.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: Right, it was kind of an additional touch point.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: I mean, I can go two months without talking to my college best friend and then you know I'm like, oh my gosh, we talk and I'm like we should do this so much more often, right.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: But it's kind of like this structured way in which we can connect with each other and share what's going on, and I think the most amazing thing is that, in the middle of even very difficult situations we can find something to be grateful for.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: And I will be very clear this is not toxic positivity at all, but this is saying you know, I'm grateful it's 14 degrees outside where I am right now, so I'm grateful for the heat that's in my home.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: Or I'm grateful for the heat that's in my home.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: Or I'm grateful for the hot cup of coffee I had this morning.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: It tasted so good.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: Or I'm grateful I got to be by the lake yesterday.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: The water just really nourished my soul and so whatever else is going on in my life, right, like I can take some time and truly focus on three things.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: I choose three because that's what the practice suggests, but you can always do more.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: I find it's actually kind of contagious.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: So when you start on one path, you tend to find more things.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: But really, as a benchmark, three things a day and really focusing on what that is.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: No-transcript.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: I bought a really beautiful sweater today.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: I mean, I didn't, but like that's okay.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: Like I bought a gorgeous sweater at the store today and that made me really happy.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: Um, that can be a gratitude.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: Right, it can be.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: I helped a neighbor in a significant way and I felt her gratitude and that made me really feel like I was serving and giving and that just warmed my soul.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: So it could be something like that too.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: So there's no like restrictions or ways that this is supposed to be, but this is truly just like looking at the big picture and finding things that we can focus our attention on, the things that are going well in our lives.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: I think that this is so important too, because sometimes the fertility journey becomes all consuming and it's so, so easy and it's like so much our path of least resistance to focus on what is actually not going well and what we're afraid might happen and a lot of those more negative things.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: But I truly think that if we can acknowledge that those things are there and that we're concerned about them, et cetera, but then find something that we can put our attention on that is actually going well, you know, not only does it de-emphasize the things that we wish were different, but it also kind of renews our faith in the universe that sometimes things actually do go well for us and that maybe there is a decent chance that things will go well for us in the fertility journey.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: We just don't know exactly how and why that's going to happen for us.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: So I think, in terms of my view of the universe, you know, I believe in an abundant universe.
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: I believe in a universe where we love each other and we're all connected to each other.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: We give each other strength where you know it's not I am not God, right.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: This is not to be religious at all, right.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: But I am not the center of the universe, right.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: It's a much bigger picture than me and I think, as we can support each other on the fertility journey, as we can give each other encouragement and life and love, I think it will be our turn.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: Right, we give and we receive.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: And that gratitude, that focusing on what's actually going well and what we can absorb into ourselves and into our being, I think that that's just so helpful for getting through the day noticing things we might not notice otherwise and then turning our attention to like something we might not even notice later but saying, oh, I'm grateful for that too, right, something that might just totally slip our consciousness.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: So I think that gratitude is really helpful.
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: There's lots of data that our brains actually do better when we're grateful.
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: We can access better like sort of more complex problem solving and other higher orders of our brains when we can get into that space.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: There's also data that we sort of whatever sort of level we're at we're truly clinically depressed.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: It makes us less depressed.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: If we are less depressed but still a little depressed, then it makes us feel more neutral.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: If we're feeling neutral or even mildly happy, it can make us even happier.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: So I do believe it affects brain chemistry and, gosh of all of all the legal things to do that that affect brain chemistry in a positive way, might as well dip my big toe into gratitude, because every time I do it just makes me feel better.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: I will also say you know, this is not all like sunshine and rainbows, absolutely, and I think sometimes it takes me a really hard time to come up with three gratitudes, and that's okay, it doesn't have to be like super quick or it doesn't have to take a specific form.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: Sometimes I get to two gratitudes and I'm like I'm really struggling to find the third and I'll get back to you.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: I tell my friend I'm like I'll get back to you when I have my third gratitude today.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: Sometimes it can take a really long time and I have to dig deep, but there's always something that I can find that lifts my mood that I'm grateful for.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: Maybe it's I can share something with a friend.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: Maybe it's, you know, unexpectedly I there were free cookies in the doctor's lounge.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: I do not know what the thing is, but I think life offers a lot more than we recognize sometimes, and when we can train ourselves to get into the habit of seeing those things, I think it just makes things flow a lot better.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: So we do this in our groups.
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: You know, I think I encourage us all to share three gratitude today in our community group, our WhatsApp group, and so that can be kind of fun.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: But if you're, you know, more private, just trying to figure it out right now, I would say write in your journal three things today that you can be authentically grateful for and just see how you feel.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: And before you just run away from the exercise, like really embody those things.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: Just take two, three minutes and feel them in your body and I promise you this will change your life.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: It'll change your life, it'll change your fertility journey, it'll change how you see the world and each other.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: So again, I love you.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: I'll talk to you guys soon.
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: Bye.