Latest / Limitless Living with Fredricka Davis / 076: Why You Know What to Do but Still Can’t Stay Consistent

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076: Why You Know What to Do but Still Can’t Stay Consistent · Limitless Living with Fredricka Davis

• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome back to the Limitless Living Podcast.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Frederica Davis, your host, and today is Wellness Reset Thursday.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: So today we get to talk about how to live a healthy, well life and how to do it without being overwhelmed, without it being this big giant overhaul, one little step at a time.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: So let me ask you something.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: How many times have you known exactly what you should be doing, but you still were not doing it?
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe you're doing it, but you're not doing it consistently.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: More than likely, you are probably overinformed.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna bet that while you're listening to this, you know that you need to go to bed earlier so you can feel better.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: And you probably know that you need more protein or more water or more movement, or maybe you need more time outside, or a few minutes when nobody needs anything from you, just peace.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: You may even have done all of these things before and felt the difference when you're doing them.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yet somehow they don't stick, or it doesn't stay consistent for you.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: It all starts to fall away or fall apart.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: Then comes a part that is even worse often, and that's the habit that you established and were doing well with, just saying bye-bye and falling away, and you get sidetracked, or whatever it is, and boom, you start judging yourself.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: You decide you lack discipline, you never finish anything, you don't have enough willpower, whatever it is.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: And then you start telling your things like, I don't have enough time, well, it wasn't gonna work anyway, or I'll start again Monday, next week, next month, next year.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: And you just simply wonder why you cannot just follow through.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: And you might even start looking for another plan instead of going back to what you were doing, or another book, or another challenge, or some other person, whether it's me or somebody else, to tell you what to do.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the thing: most of the time, you probably don't need more information.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: We're bombarded with information today.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: You already have plenty of it.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna guess that you already do.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: What you need more than likely is the ability to recognize and understand why this particular change is not fitting into your actual life, why it's not sticking for you.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what we want to look at today.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: Not how to become a perfectly disciplined person on whatever program or whatever method or plan that you choose, not how to overhaul your entire life all at once or by Monday morning.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, what we're going to do is look for the mismatch because once you can see the mismatch, you can make a better choice.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: And the first place I want you to look is the size of the change.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: That means the change that you're trying to make, the new habit that you want to stick, what how big is it?
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of us tend to choose a habit based on the result that we want instead of the life that we're currently living.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: For example, we decide we're gonna go work out for an hour, three days, four days, five days a week, cook every meal from scratch, meditate every morning, stop eating sugar, organize the entire house, and maybe be in bed by 10 every day.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: While these may all be worthy goals, they may not be realistic for where you're at right now.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: There is nothing wrong with any of the things that I mentioned.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: The problem is trying to begin all of them at once.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: And that's going to be especially true if you're already tired and overwhelmed in pain.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're caring for other people or you're moving through a demanding time in your life, or your nervous system is dysregulated.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: And something that's often hard to wrap our brains around is that a smaller choice, a smaller change, a smaller beginning is not a less meaningful beginning to whatever it is that you want to accomplish.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: If 10 minutes of movement is what you can repeat, then you begin there.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: So let me share a story with you about a woman who came in earlier because this is the perfect example of what I'm talking about, how sometimes we take on these goals and these changes that are not matching what we have the capacity to do or where we're at currently.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: And we're choosing that goal because we're focusing on the result we think we're going to get.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes they don't match up and we get a different result, not a good one.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: So she was in and we were talking and she was experiencing pain.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: I showed her an exercise, and as she did the exercise, there was a contraction.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's an isometric exercise.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: And you squeeze your muscle.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: There's no extra weight, there's no anything.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: Well, she could only hold it for about five seconds.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: Now that's not very long.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: Now, there's no judgment here.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: This is not about good or bad.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to see this example.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: So I showed her this, and this is an exercise, it's actually one of the ones that I have used to heal much of what's going on in my SI joint, hip, low back areas.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: Now, five seconds is not very long, but that is where her body was at.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: So we had this conversation that I'm having with you now because when we take on these big changes and the size of those changes don't match what we have the capacity to do, what our bodies can do, what our minds can do, what our hearts, our souls, our lifestyles, our day, our schedules can handle, we set ourselves up for them not to really work out so well and for us to fall off the wagon and then feel like we were a failure.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: So instead, I'll use this client as an example.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: Her starting point with this exercise wasn't to do, was not to do three sets of 10.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: It was going to be to do two sets of five for five seconds each and see how she felt the next day or two.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: And if that was okay, and there was only a little bit of mild soreness or no soreness, then to increase it a little bit.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: And then so on and so on.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: But the instruction was for her to meet her body where it was at at that moment, right here, right now.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: Now, when we do things like we decide we're gonna cook every day, five days a week, and we have a really ultra busy schedule, or we are just mentally fried and can't even think of what to cook each day of the week.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: That is not a reasonable goal.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: It might be a more reasonable goal to actually say, I'm gonna batch cook some things so that they're in the refrigerator for the week.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I think on this night I can also cook, and that'll give some more variety, and then I'll have all these individual pieces that I can put together.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: That's more realistic, right?
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of five days a week, it's gonna happen.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: And now it's great if you can, but do you see the differences here?
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: So the first place to look is the size of the change that you want to make.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: Now, a lot of us choose a habit based on the result that we want instead of the situation we are currently in, the life we're currently in, the body we're currently in, the mindset we are currently in, and so on.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: We have a tendency to decide we're just gonna, you know, go to the gym or walk out for five days a week, or we'll cook every meal from scratch and we're gonna start meditating every morning and stop all sugar.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna cut out all sugar and organize the entire house all and be a bed by 10.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: And we're gonna get this done, you know, by the end of this weekend or the end of this month.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: There is nothing wrong with any one of those goals.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: The problem is trying to begin all of them at once.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: And especially if you are already tired, you're already overwhelmed, or you're in pain, or maybe you're in that stage where you're caring for other people, or you're just simply moving through a really demanding schedule or period of time in your life.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: When we try to do too many things at once, or the size of each of those things is too big, it just sets us up for more stress, more cortisol reliefs, and failure.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: And then we beat ourselves up.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: So a smaller beginning to whatever change it is that you want to make, is not a less meaningful beginning.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: If you can only do five or 10 minutes of movement, but you haven't been doing any, that is a step in the right direction.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: And it's something you can repeat.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: So what will really count here, no matter what it is that you are trying to change, is what is it that you can repeat realistically?
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: Learning, recognizing, and choosing the one thing that you can repeat and beginning there.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: If making just one healthy breakfast a week is realistic for you right now and you've been making none, begin there.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: It is that simple because that's going to be one meal that was better this week than last week.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the point.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: If going to bed 15 minutes earlier is actually doable, then that counts.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: Even if you're still going to bed really late, 15 minutes earlier is still earlier.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: And if you do this with consistency, eventually you get a little closer to when you wanted to go to bed in the first place.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: The goal here, if you're getting this picture now, is not to create the most impressive plan.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: The goal is to create a change that you can actually live with and live with it long enough for it to begin to support you, where you're at right now, and help you move forward in whatever it is that you're trying to do.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: So the second place I want you to look is your body.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: This is where I think a lot of wellness advice out there really fails us, especially us as women.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: It acts as though every woman has the same energy, the same hormones or nervous system, or the same health history, or sleep, or pain level and threshold and maybe the same responsibilities.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: But the fact is, we don't.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: We don't all have the same anything.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: We can relate to each other and bond over many things, but none of us are the same.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: Not any two people are the same in their situation.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: So if your body is asking for rest and you just keep giving it more and more intensity, I promise you, you don't need to push harder.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's likely that that is not going to be productive for you.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: You may need to learn to listen better.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: If you're constantly hungry, depleted, foggy, crashing during the day, grumpy, headache, I could go on.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: This is a long list.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: The answer for you may not be another rule about willpower, another do or don't, or yes or no, or good or bad.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: It may be time instead to look more closely at what your actual nourishment is.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: What is your sleep?
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: What is your actual stress, your medications, hormones, blood sugar, anything else that's going on.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: All of these deserve proper attention.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: 99.9% of the time, it's not one thing that we need to look at and really pay attention to.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's really multiple pieces.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we are these whole women, yet we are often treating ourselves and other people are treating this way, doctors as all these individual parts.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: Really, you're just one big giant puzzle.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: And when all those puzzle pieces are in alignment and put together, everything works really great and it fits, right?
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: It fits, it feels good, it's beautiful.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: Now, let me say this.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: I am not saying that this excuses you or me from ever doing anything difficult again, or pushing at the gym or having a long day, or whatever it is.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: What it means, though, is that you stop treating your body as though it is an inconvenience that should be simply cooperating with you, getting through your day, able to push through, and a pain in the rear end to put on your to-do list to deal with.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: Your body is actually part of this conversation.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're not listening to it, you're not actually acknowledging what it's telling you, then it will continue to give you problems.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: Now, the third place to look is your environment.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: We have to make a decision in our minds and then leave everything around us to chance because we leave it the same.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: We don't change what's going on around us.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: So, for example, let's say you want to drink more water, but you haven't gone out and gotten yourself a nice big water container to carry around, one of those nice insulated uh Stanley makes them, uh, the Yetis, there's a couple other brands out there, or something like that.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: That's really helpful.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: Having one of those that you fill up every day is really helpful in getting enough water in.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe you grabbed a water bottle, but you left it in the car.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: So that's something to be thinking about.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: How are you going to change?
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: How are you going to make it easier for you to drink the water?
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: How about taking supplements?
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you say, I'm going to take some more supplements.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: I know I should be taking these, but, or maybe you already have them, but you forget to take them because they're buried in the back of the cabinet.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of you bringing them to the front and having them ready to go so you can grab your morning and your evening supplements, and it's not a chore, it's seamless because it's easy.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: How about walking in the morning?
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe that's one of your goals.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: And instead of making it easier on yourself by putting your shoes, your socks, and whatever you need right by the door, right where you can see them, you don't do that.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: And then you forget or you run out of time and you think, oh, where are my sneakers?
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: I can't find my sneakers.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: So you're getting the picture here, right?
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: So when we don't change our environment or we don't set things up to be successful, that makes it harder.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to have a calmer evening, but you're keeping the television on, or scrolling and keeping the phone in your hand, or everybody still has access to you and you haven't turned the ringer off for a while, how will you ever have a calmer evening?
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: All that blue light will stimulate you.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just not going to be.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: A calmer evening would be a nice quiet bath or a shower or a cup of tea in a book.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: That's a nice quiet evening, a calm, quiet walk, then followed by a conversation, reading, listening to some music before bed, doing your nighttime skincare routine.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: You're getting the picture here, right?
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: So when you're looking at your environment, you really want to think about how you can make your environment support the habit that you're trying to create or the change that you're working on creating.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: So the research on habits supports everything I'm talking about.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: And then how behaviors become easier to repeat when they are connected to stable cues and familiar situations.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: Now, in plain English, that means make the choice easier to see and easier to do, right?
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: So I have my uh protein goals in the morning, and part of how I meet those is by adding collagen or bone broth or something into my coffee.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: So I created a coffee station area where I've got a big mason jar of that right there.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's quick and easy to access.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: I can put it in when I'm in a hurry if I happen to have that kind of a morning.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's all set up to make this habit very easy for me.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: The coffee is ground, it's already organic ground coffee.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have to worry about that in the morning.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: All the things I like to put raw cacao powder in it.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's in another little mason jar there, so I can grab that and so on.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_00: If I'm making a pumpkin spice, I've got the pumpkin spice spice right there.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, I use stevia.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: The stevia is right there, and I've done that so that my morning routine doesn't take any kind of thought process from me.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: I can do it on automatic.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: So it has become a habit.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: And actually, I miss that if I don't get to do that or I'm traveling and it doesn't work out the same way.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: I actually miss that.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: So this is how you create this new change and this new habit.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I once had a habit of stopping at Starbucks.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: This is a much healthier way of making a latte, giving my body the protein it needs, but I had to shift one habit to the other.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: Now, back to the water.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: Put it where you sit.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_00: When you want to walk, put the shoes and the socks where you want them.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: When you want to eat healthier, prepare the foods you want to be able to reach for and have them ready to go.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna include as we're thinking about environment and how to set yourself up for success here, is I want to talk about something called that I call habit attachment.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know that I'm new to calling it that, but habit attachment is when you're trying to change a behavior and you want it to be the most likely to stick.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: You don't want to have to remember it and add more to your to-do list and another stressor, but you want to attach it to something that you're already doing.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: So I'll give you an example.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: I wake up in the middle of the night once usually to run to the bathroom.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: Not always, but most of the time.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: So when I do that, I take a big swig of my water that I take up the night before.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: That begins that glass, that morning glass of water for me.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: And then I go back right back to sleep.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_00: And then when I actually wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is take another big gulp of that water.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: I carry it into the bathroom with me.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: So while I'm doing my face and getting ready, I'm gulping.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's done before coffee.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: I've attached this glass of water, this tall 20, 30 ounce glass of water that I take upstairs with me the night before as a routine that's attached to me going to bed.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: And then when I get up once in the middle of the night, I take a drink.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: When I wake up in the morning, I take a drink.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: So it's not me remembering to go to the kitchen, get a drink of water.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: This is part of my routine.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: And then when I come downstairs, I am boiling water in the morning or heating up the milk to go into my latte or whatever, making coffee, whatever it is that I'm doing for that in the morning.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: I will then do calf raises while I'm in the kitchen.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm feeding the dog, I'm preparing things, I'm not scheduling an entirely new workout into my day.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_00: I am actually attaching the habit of exercising my feet, my ankles, and my calves right then and there.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: If I have time at that moment, I might do some kitchen counter squats.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_00: Now I have exercised my lower body entirely in the kitchen while I'm waiting for something to heat up, while I'm feeding the dog, while I'm doing all of that.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: Then I feed the dog, turn around, get the rest of the breakfast, do, you know, pack the lunch, and uh, I might do some kitchen counter push-ups.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: All of this takes no extra time, that is the point.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: So, this kitchen counter routine that I have, I created this habit because I was really genuinely struggling.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're struggling with getting yourself to the gym enough, or you're struggling with getting enough exercise in with it throughout the day and getting some gains and pushing through because your body isn't cooperating with you, or because you don't have enough time, or because doing the hard workouts kind of sends you into a tailspin and makes you sore for days and days and days afterwards, then this is a great place to start.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_00: I had to meet my body at the time when I created this, where it was at.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to tell you, I have created an additional nine and a half pounds worth of muscle mass from doing a kitchen counter workout.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're thinking this might not work, it really does.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_00: But it's a good example of how you attach a behavior, a habit.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: I knew I wanted to do these specific exercises that would give me a head-to-toe something to get me going, but would not hurt me when I was in my worst stage of healing.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: And this is where I started.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_00: So attaching them to something that I already was doing was seamless.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_00: And at night I have another habit.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_00: When I'm brushing my teeth, two minutes on the top, I am standing in pigeon pose.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_00: That means I'm standing on one leg with the opposite foot on the inside of my knee.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm standing in pigeon pose.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm doing that because I want balance.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_00: I want to strengthen my ankles, my feet, and I want to increase my balance.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: And then when I do the two minutes on the bottom with the electric toothbrush, I switch.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm doing two minutes on that one.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and as I wash my face at night, because I get plantar fasciitis, I keep a little tennis ball underneath the bathroom sink.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_00: So I get to roll my foot a little bit on that as I'm doing that, and I'll roll my arches.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: So for those of you listening who might feel sometimes like you're falling apart, I guess I should say you're in really good company.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: These are all the ways, though, that I found my way out of the immense pain I was in.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_00: Now, these are all Examples of ways to attach positive changes for you.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_00: If you suffer from plantar fasciitis, then you need to stretch and strengthen your feet.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_00: Both.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe you want to stand in pigeon pose.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you want to go up and down on your tippy toes and do calf raises and roll a tennis ball or golf ball while you're washing your face or brushing your teeth.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: Boom.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: Now you have actually done what you're supposed to, but it didn't cost you any more time in the day.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't something else you had to put on your to-do list.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_00: You just had to put the tennis bowl right there by the bathroom sink so that it was ready to go and a reminder to do it while you were doing what you were already doing.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_00: So I hope all of that makes sense because it makes an enormous difference when it comes to working things in and being consistent.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you go to the gym once a week, that's better than not at all.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: But you're not going to have the greatest benefit unless you're consistent.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: But the greatest benefits come when we are more consistent versus when we are once a week or randomly with these big bursts of effort or these big overhaul programs.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_00: And this is not cheating, it's making the habits easier.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_00: And it's you finding a way to create an environment that supports you right where you're at right now, as well as who you want to be, the woman you're becoming.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_00: Now, the fourth place I want you to look is whether the change that you're working on actually belongs to you.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll tell you what I mean by that.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we are inconsistent because we are trying to actually force ourselves into somebody else's version of wellness.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: And it might be something like running.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you hate running, but you keep putting running on your plan because you think, no, that's the one I need.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's going to give me the biggest burn for calories.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_00: Plus, it makes me feel like euphoric afterwards, but man, I really do hate doing this.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you do not want to get up at five o'clock in the morning.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_00: But the internet has convinced you, or you read some book about the 5 a.m.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_00: club or the 4 a.m.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_00: club or the 6 a.m.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_00: club that convinced you that that's what successful women do.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe your body just simply feels better when you eat warm, nourishing food, but you keep trying to live on cold salads or a raw diet because someone called that healthy.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_00: There are so many ways to support your health.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_00: The right choice is not only the one that sounds good on paper or when somebody tells it to you.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's the one that makes sense for your body, for your personal values, your own culture, your own time that you're going through in life, your season of life, and your lifestyle.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_00: Asking yourself, do I actually want this, or do I think I'm supposed to want it can be really valuable.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_00: That question can save you a lot of time.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_00: So finally, look at what happens when you miss a day.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_00: This may be the biggest one, in all honesty.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you miss Monday, so you decide the week is ruined.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_00: Or you eat something you did not plan to eat.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_00: So now in your mind, oh, the whole day no longer counts.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you skipped your walk or you stayed up too late or you forgot whatever it was that you wanted to do.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_00: And suddenly you feel like you're all the way back at the beginning.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_00: When those things happen, you're not back at the beginning.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_00: It only means that you had one moment or one day that looked a little different.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_00: And it's time for a reset.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_00: Consistency does not mean you never fall off the wagon.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_00: It does not mean you never miss something.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_00: It means you keep returning, you keep resetting without turning the interruption into your identity.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to say, oh, I always fail at this.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, you could simply say, okay, that did not happen.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_00: That was not a good choice today, but what would help me tomorrow?
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_00: Or, okay, I had that meal and that was probably not the best thing.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna regret that.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_00: I think I might already regret that.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_00: Now, what do I want to have tonight that gets me back on track?
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_00: And something to think about here because we've all been told, you know, it takes three weeks to establish a new habit, 21 days, blah, blah, blah.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_00: There is a lot of research, plus, I can tell you years and years and years working with my clients and with myself that shut that absolutely shows habit formation can literally take, can definitely take much longer than this popular 21-day promise.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_00: And the time it takes is gonna vary is going to vary widely from one person to another and from one new change or behavior to another.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_00: So stop using an unrealistic timetable as evidence that something isn't working or something is wrong with you, or you're failing, because maybe you just need a little longer for it to stick.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_00: Real change is often much quieter than we think it is.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: It looks more like making one better choice often enough that it becomes familiar.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_00: It just starts to begin to be familiar, like my whole coffee concoction.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's familiar, it's habitual for me now.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_00: It was not in the beginning.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_00: And it looks like adjusting the plan when your life changes.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_00: And it will change.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_00: You'll have long days at work, you'll have kids full night, you'll have emergencies, you'll have parents that you have to caretake when you never had to do that before and you don't know what which way to turn.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_00: Things happen.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_00: Just things happen.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_00: Life changes.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_00: It what it looks like for real change is that you are willing to learn and practice what helps you return to that habit, that change that you made.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_00: So here's your wellness reset for this week.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_00: Choose one thing you've been struggling to do consistently, just one, I'm gonna stress.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_00: Then ask four questions about that.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_00: Is this change too big for the life I am living right now?
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_00: What is my body trying to tell me?
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_00: How could I make this easier to see and easier to do?
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_00: And is this something I genuinely want or something I believe I should want?
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_00: Then make the choice smaller, kinder, and more realistic.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_00: Not so small that it becomes meaningless, but small enough that you can begin.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe your reset is just a 10-minute walk.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe it's going to be preparing tomorrow's breakfast tonight, or putting your phone down 20 minutes before bed.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's going to be finally making the appointment you've been putting off, or whatever.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_00: Your choices do not have to look important to anyone else.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever your choice is, it's for you.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_00: It needs to matter to you.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_00: And if you listen to this and realize that it's not just one habit that's feeling off, but maybe several parts of your health and your life are really asking for some attention.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_00: I created something free to help you look at that more clearly.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_00: You can go to my website, fredericadavis.com and download the free reset starter, five signs it may be time for a reset.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_00: It will help you recognize where you may be feeling depleted, foggy, overwhelmed, or disconnected, and what you may want to address first.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_00: And early enrollment is also open now for the whole woman reset, which begins on September 30th.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_00: I generally only run this two times a year.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_00: This is not another quick challenge where you try to follow a perfect plan.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_00: I promise you that for a few weeks and then all of a sudden go back to real life.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_00: This is actually eight guided weeks, followed by four months of coaching and support because knowing what to do is only the very beginning.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_00: You also need time and you need the support to actually implement it and then live it.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_00: So with this, it's eight weeks and another four months.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_00: So essentially you've got six months of support.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_00: And you can learn more about that too at my website, Frederickadavis.com.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_00: So before you go, remember this.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_00: You are not failing because maybe a plan that you started.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_00: So before you go, remember this.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_00: You're not failing because a plan that you started did not fit you.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_00: You are allowed to learn, adjust, and choose a better way forward.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for spending part of your day with me.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_00: If this episode helped you, please share with another woman who has been blaming herself for not being as consistent as she'd like to be.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_00: And give the show a positive review so other women can find it.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time, be rooted, be resilient, and be limitless.