Latest / The Daily Sarcast / February 23rd, 2026: The Olympics, Snow Explained And Jesus

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February 23rd, 2026: The Olympics, Snow Explained And Jesus · The Daily Sarcast

• 0:00
  This episode is brought to you by the never-ending snow.
• 0:03
  I'm the most decorated female freeskier in history. I think that's an answer in and of itself.
• 0:10
  I linger when a reporter asked her if she considered her two silver medals, two gold medals lost.
• 0:17
  Insert theme song here. This is the Daily Starcast. I give you the news and maybe a laugh.
• 0:22
  I'm Lindsay Wernick and it's February 23rd, 2026.
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  I hope you're listening to this right now. nice and
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  warm and cozy inside hopefully not
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  working with a nice hot cup
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  of coffee or chocolate or tea
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  or wine or whatever your drink of choice is
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  so in real news a guy with a gun in his early 20s was shot and killed around
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  1 30 a.m on sunday after trying to break into mar-a-lago trump's house in florida
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  two secret service agents and a palm beach county sheriff's deputy saw the guy
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  inside the gate of the house.
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  He was carrying what appeared to be a shotgun and a fuel can.
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  Authorities identified him as 21-year-old Austin Tucker Martin of North Carolina.
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  The officers confronted him and ordered him to drop the weapons.
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  According to officials, he didn't comply.
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  Secret Service agents and the sheriff's deputy then fired their weapons and the guy was killed.
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  The incident remains under investigation, and no motive has been publicly released.
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  It is also unclear at this time whether anyone else was injured.
• 1:27
  The Olympics ended yesterday, and the United States men's hockey team won gold
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  for the first time in 46 years, defeating Canada 2-1 in overtime.
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  Yeah, 46 years. The game went to 3-3 on sudden death overtime after being tied 1-1.
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  Canada was doing pretty well in this game. they were overshooting the U.S. 42-20.
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  The U.S. goalkeeper stopped 41 of 42 shots in what people are calling one of
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  the greatest performances in U.S. hockey history.
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  The winning goal came from Jack Hughes, who scored an overtime after a setup
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  from Zach Warneski, a nice Jewish boy.
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  Canada had multiple chances to win during this game. One guy missed a wide-open
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  net in the third period, and two other times there were opportunities for them
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  to shoot, but they didn't. But also, what do I know about sports?
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  The Canadian captain, Sidney Crosby, did not play in the gold medal game due
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  to a lower body injury, so that wasn't helping them either.
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  The win ends a 46-year Olympic gold drought for the U.S.
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  Men and marks a major milestone for USA's hockey's national team development
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  program, which helped develop players like Hughes and several others on the roster.
• 2:39
  Yesterday, the Department of Homeland Security LOLJK'd a decision to suspend
• 2:45
  TSA PreCheck amid the ongoing partial government shutdown.
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  They said that they would pause both TSA PreCheck and global entry starting at 6 a.m.
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  Today because they said they needed to refocus department personnel on the majority of travelers.
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  And then, hours later, the Transportation Security Administration said,
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  at this time, TSA PreCheck remains operational with no change for the traveling public.
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  However, it is confirmed that global entry remains suspended.
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  The department's funding lapsed on February 14th after lawmakers failed to reach
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  an agreement to restore funding.
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  Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem said the agency was making tough but
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  necessary workforce and resource decisions and blamed Democrats for withholding
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  votes to continue funding.
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  And the Democrats then argued back the suspension of pre-check would worsen
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  staffing burdens, ironically.
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  One guy said that the programs reduce airport lines and accuse the administration
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  of purposely punishing the American people, but we're also used to that at this point.
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  So TSA PreCheck is still operating, but global entry is suspended.
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  Courtesy and family police escorts at airports for family members of Congress are also suspended.
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  FEMA is halting non-disaster-related responses.
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  Federal aid for legacy disasters is also paused.
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  I think customs and border protection is obviously going to continue unaffected in Lindsay life.
• 4:16
  So I went back to my parents' house this weekend. We had this like big family
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  party. It was really, really nice.
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  So my mom ordered Italian food from this like nearby little local restaurant.
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  I go with her to pick it up and we're at the cash register and we're paying.
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  And my mom looks up above the cash register and it's like this beautiful portrait of like,
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  Saint Michael or one of the saint guys I
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  don't know I'm Jewish so I don't I don't know who those people are but you know
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  what I mean it was like a Jesus type looking guy and my mom looks at the disheveled
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  little Italian man with like barely any hair his messy apron on with like marinara
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  sauce all over it and Seb was like, is that you?
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  And he was like, no, no, but I wish it was. And he was so flattered.
• 5:08
  Thing of the week this week is snowstorms versus a nor'easter versus a blizzard.
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  We're having snowstorms and blizzards and a never-ending winter.
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  But you're probably wondering, what's the difference between a snowstorm and
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  a nor'easter and a blizzard? Because they're all different.
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  I mean, obviously, they all have different names.
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  So a snowstorm is obviously when the snow is falling. But it also could be like
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  a little dusting. It could be several inches.
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  There might be like a little bit of wind. This is what happened to us a couple
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  weeks ago when we got all that snow. That was a snowstorm.
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  Next up, we have the nor'easter. This is a lot less about snowfalling and more about the wind.
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  So a nor'easter is a coastal storm that gets its power from the Atlantic Ocean
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  and blows from the northeast, hence the name nor'easter.
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  It can bring snow and or rain, and it can switch between both mid-storm just for fun.
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  It can also cause flooding, but a nor'easter doesn't automatically mean danger, it's just chaotic.
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  And now finally, the blizzard. What we're having right now. This is when things get serious.
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  The blizzard is like the big boss of winter storms. This isn't about the amount
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  of snow that we get. It's about the conditions of it.
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  So officially, the National Weather Service says it requires sustained winds
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  of at least 35 miles per hour for three or more hours and visibility reduced
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  to a quarter mile or less for three or more hours.
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  That means a complete whiteout and the wind is absolutely insane.
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  Like, roads are so terrifying that even Uber drivers aren't out.
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  It also doesn't necessarily mean how much snow we're getting.
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  Like, we could get two inches, but the blizzard is still happening if the winds
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  are still super crazy and you can't see more than, like, your hand in front of your face.
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  So why is everyone cynically panicking about this storm compared to the storm
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  that we had a couple weeks ago.
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  Because this one isn't just a snowstorm or an oyster. This is a full-on blizzard.
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  That's why the local news anchors are freaking out, emergency alerts are popping
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  up on your phone, and everyone else in the city is hoarding milk and bread like it's the apocalypse.
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  So a blizzard equals serious, snowstorm is casual. Got it? Good.
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  So blizzards aren't cute snow vibes, like let's go sledding in Central Park.
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  This is like actually stay inside and don't think about leaving at all.
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  And that is why it's way more serious this time around.
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  So stay warm, stay dry, and be careful if you're adventurous enough to leave the house today.
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  Cooking tip of the day. Take all the leftovers from your parents' house.
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  Feedback, comments, questions, a nice Jewish boy looking for a date,
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  email me at lindsay at thedailystarcast.com. thanks so much for listening stay
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  warm stay safe and i will talk to you guys tomorrow.