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Breaking Addictions and Building Better: A Nurse's Honest Journey with Ashlee Crofts · The Unsexy Businessmen

• Aaron: Welcome to the Unsexy Podcast where we talk about everything unsexy. Today is an amazing one. It's a first for us. We have a woman on the podcast. Yes, yes, you are the first woman we've ever had on the podcast, and we've had we've had dozens Alex: We did it. We did it. We d we did it this last podcast. This is our last one. This is we're done. Ashlee Crofts: I didn't know I was the first woman. my gosh. Girls? Ugh. Aaron: of our listeners ask for it. and so yeah, so we have Ashley Crofts on the podcast today. And we'll just go through this. So you are a mother, you're a nurse, a mindset coach, you have a mobile IV medical weight loss. Is it a mobile IV business that you have? Ashlee Crofts: so it's not, so it's not my business. I am a part of a bigger business. It's called Salt, Hydra Aaron: Okay. Mm-hmm. Ashlee Crofts: Salt. Hydrate wellness and hydration. I might be making that backwards. It might be salt, hydration, and wellness. But I believe it's salt. Gosh, they're gonna fire me after this. They're gonna be like, she doesn't even know the name of the company. I just Aaron: You had the opportunity. Ashlee Crofts: you had the that was your time. You had one job. No. So Aaron: Yeah. Ashlee Crofts: yes, I do concierge nursing. I am a registered nurse. I've been a registered nurse for a little over 10 years now. And salt, hydration and wellness is a fantastic company that is really taking southeastern Idaho by storm. They provide infusions like micronutrients. Infusions, you're hearing a lot. We talked about buzzwords. We're hearing a lot of the you know peptides, NAD. they do weight loss peptides, of course. We've we you know those those GLP ones and BPC. Aaron: Rudat True Tide? Ashlee Crofts: we don't have register tide yet, but I do know that they are working on bringing on several more peptides that they will be introducing hopefully here very soon. but the cool thing about that company is that we can come to you. We can come in your home, we can Aaron: nice. Ashlee Crofts: set you up with an infusion, whether it's a a recovery IV because you you know, you You went out and had a great weekend, had a great time, and now you need some some extra micronutrients and fluids, which which helps everyone. But then also those deeper health issues. We help a lot of women with their hormone imbalances. And those women that have gone to the doctor a million times and you're fine. It's just the same thing. you're fine. Just, you know, get your sunlight, get your water. And and they're placated. And and so the cool thing is we have women come to us and and they're getting answers with our providers and with our lab panels. And we also serve men. We do TRT and just Aaron: cool. Ashlee Crofts: some some really cool they just brought on a new product called Niagin, which is a precursor to NAD. and Aaron: I've not heard of niogen. Ashlee Crofts: yeah, there's a whole lot. There's so many things. It it's it's Aaron: There's so there's Ashlee Crofts: really cool. So Aaron: it is really cool. No, I totally agree. I also like that you have that discipline is greater than motivation on your thing. We'll get into that. But what I first want to ask you is kind of your I already forgot the buzzword we're supposed to use. Your health rebuilds. yeah, that's what we're doing. Alex: Rebuild. Ashlee Crofts: Journey. We're not saying journey. Aaron: We're not saying journey. You're ha you're your rebuild. Like just tell us take us from from the beginning, not from when you were born, but just like when maybe you realized I Ashlee Crofts: gonna say. Aaron: I need to make a change. Like just give you the floor. Ashlee Crofts: Okay. So I will tell you my story, my my really like I think that we we have times in our lives that we know we need to make a change. And I know that there's a statistic out there, but most people don't make that change in their first attempt. And I will tell you that I don't like to use this word either, but for lack of a better phrase, I've battled my weight my whole life. I've battled coping mechanisms, I've battled, you know, those things that get us in that place where where we're unhealthy and and we're less than what we we know that we should and could be. I had an experience that was, I would say, my most profound experience. It was on my my 35th birthday. I was I was driving around and I was alone and I was in my car at night and I had been drinking alcohol. And that's where my story starts, is I'm a recovering alcoholic. And that was my first night of sobriety. As I I realized that you're alone. It's your birthday. You have children that aren't even with you. And realizing that that was my choice, that I was isolating myself. and we don't have to get into why and everything that went into that. But that really was my turning point of realizing that I'm gonna live a life full of regret if I if I don't figure this out. And and maybe not even regret, but I might end up dying before I'm supposed to. Cause I was being so irresponsible with my consumption, with my daily habits, with my beliefs, not just what I was putting into my body, but what I was putting into my mind. I'm a huge proponent for how do we speak to ourselves. And so many conversations before that experience. But for me, that was my starting point of of literally looking myself in the proverbial mirror and saying, this is where I'm at. This isn't where I want to be. And if I don't change it, like it's go time. And and knowing also, I, you know, I talk a lot about my angels. if you if you hang out with me for five minutes, we'll talk about protein and probably my angels. And so I knew that, you know, I was I was being guided and And really be being given an opportunity to restart and to live a life that I wasn't going to be living otherwise. So Aaron: Right, right. So then all right, so you knew you needed to make a change. What did you do when you like decided I'm making a change? Ashlee Crofts: This is fun. So, like I said, so many conversations. there had been previous attempts at sobriety. I think my my longest attempt prior to this is was two years. And so I've been, it'll be eight years in December that I have been sober. And so thank you. So for Aaron: Congratulations. That's awesome. Ashlee Crofts: me, it was again looking in that mirror, looking at myself and being able to say, yeah, we've got to make the change, but like, how? Well, okay, let's go to AA. let's get support. Let's get those things. So but when you're at a level that I was at with alcoholism, it's not something where you just like I'm gonna stop drinking and go AA and it's gonna be better. Like you have to think about physical effects that that alcohol is having on your body. And so as a nurse I had that wisdom. I had taken care of several clients. Like I had sent home clients on hospice that were younger than me because of alcohol. And so like I had seen these things, right? Like I I had seen how it how it plays out. So I knew that I had to be safe. I did not go into medical detox. I don't believe that I was to that point, but it was it was having to recognize my patterns and triggers and having those conversations with myself. So for example, and this is very vulnerable, I don't share this with everybody, but I think it's important to know that like I would go to work in the morning and I knew when I walked into my my place of work that I was already beginning the process of how am I going to not go to the liquor store after work and be okay with that. And being okay with that feeling of discomfort, like I was gonna explode. I had taken away my comfort, like my s my blanket, and then being forced to go and face the things that I wasn't wanting to face, that I was using the alcohol to I guess, you know, hide from or be unaware of. and so I would just say, like, for me, my start was absolute radical honesty and knowing where I was at and then being able to be like, okay, let's, you know, let's work through the heart of like we can't go to the liquor store and then that drive home. And I'll tell you what, that 30 minute drive home at times, I mean, I I don't know how to explain it. Other addicts would be like, yeah, I know exactly what she's talking about. But there is this feeling of like the FOMO, the missing out. The new, like this is a new world, like a waking up. anyway, so I don't know if that answers that question, but Aaron: Yeah, no, it it really it really does because obviously I'm not gonna I don't wanna like lessen the like the alcohol like the alcoholism part of it. But even if people like don't struggle with alcohol, they can struggle Ashlee Crofts: Mm-hmm. Aaron: with many different addictions and I mean mine was food. So when you're saying like what what like again, it's probably not as as maybe it's not as difficult, so I'm not trying to less that. But like that was for me. I was just like I would be like, Where am I gonna go eat some fast food? And then having to like cut that out and and realizing Ashlee Crofts: Yeah. Aaron: that wasn't going to be something I would be able to do. So even if there's people that can't relate exactly to the alcoholism, which there's plenty of people that can, there's there's so many different forms of addiction that you have to do that. So but like, Ashlee Crofts: Right. Aaron: so you made like a conscious choice, hey, I you told yourself I'm not gonna go to the liquor store. What did you replace like besides just like I'm not gonna do this, like what did you replace the liquor store with? did you did you or did you have to replace it with something? Ashlee Crofts: well and and I'll say so you know, you talk about addiction. my addiction to alcohol was not more difficult than your addiction to food. I would also argue that I've had an addiction to food. You know, I I I was two hundred and sixty three pounds at my heaviest that is medically documented, but I I feel like, you know, addiction is what you choose. It's that process of an unmet expectation or an emotional need that we are fulfilling with something else, whether that's alcohol, food, porn, social media, another person that we're manipulating. so when you say what did I replace it with, I replaced it with a deep desire to heal and to figure out why I am hurting myself to feel better. What is it about my childhood, my trauma? and I'll be really frank and honest with you, a lot of my motivation has been I want to figure this out because I want to help someone else. I don't want anyone else to feel completely alone in their car on their birthday to help them figure it out. Because we don't have to get to that point to figure it out. We can turn within ourselves right now before it gets to that, you know. So Alex: Well like both what both you and Erin Aaron: No, I I I totally agree. Alex: are talking about there, and I've gone through I'm not to make it about me, but you're essentially describing rituals. And rituals, as much as this word might be the incorrect word to use for it, are sacred. No matter how evil the r like no matter how evil the ritual might be on our mental health or whatever, like to the person that is doing that ritual, the driving to the liquor store every day, like this is this is my my time to do this. And what I have found that has helped me with the issues that I have had is like similar to like the Aaron's question there of replacing it with something is finding building like another ritual. so it sounds like for you that that ritual has become helping other people avoid the same mistakes or am I am I incorrect in in that assumption? Ashlee Crofts: I I like the I like the ritual. I will say, you know, it's consistency. It's you you talk about consistency. Whatever what what you're doing consistently is what's going to drive what's in front of you. how we do I believe how we do one thing is kinda how we do other things. It's hard for me to say that I specifically replaced, I mean you could say, sh I replaced alcohol with focusing on my physical body. And so instead of coping by drinking vodka at night, I'm gonna cope by going and lifting weights. but but there's so much it's really hard because there's there's more to it. It's like you do one thing and then you discover Like that was hard and I didn't necessarily love it, but like oddly I feel better. Like there's this like this better because you're starting to do one thing that rewards your nervous system in a positive way. When you're doing those negative things, you're still rewarding your nervous system, but you're rewarding it in that negative, chaotic comfort way that we that you know, whatever we we don't want. And and we already know that our nervous systems are they're gonna go back to that comfort, even if we know that it's toxic and it's bad and we we shouldn't be doing it. And so, I don't like it's hard to say or replace it. I think there was a whole like I had to do a whole mindset overhaul. Like you have to accept that this is where we're at. And then you literally, like I was creating new rituals. right down to I decided that the person that I wanted to be was somebody who takes care of themselves. Even though I don't go to a brick and mortar job right now, I don't see my clients face to face like we're seeing each other. It's still important to me. to get up in the morning, I have my daily coffee, I get ready for the day, and I do my gym. that kind of stuff. And so when we're putting that positive energy, whether it's my purpose is I want to help other people, but or or we're putting it back into ourselves, I feel like that in and of itself can replace that negative drive from From the addiction, if that makes sense. Like we don't need like a, okay, instead of going to the liquor store after work, I'm gonna go and do this. I think there's just, I think there's just like this like radical honesty that you have to discover within yourself and and then choose better for yourself. And that literally could be, I'm gonna go sit by the river and listen to the water and Aaron: Mm-hmm. Ashlee Crofts: regulate that way. And I don't know if I'm hopefully I'm making sense, but it's just it's Aaron: You are. Ashlee Crofts: a I don't like the idea of I'm gonna replace one addiction with another. Alex: With another. Well I I love that. W like Aaron: It and not only that, but it's sorry, Alex. It it's it's it's not just one it's not just gonna be one thing. Like I wasn't expecting like I just started going to the gym and everything was great. So there's probably gonna be lots of little steps in between. Sorry, Ashlee Crofts: Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Alex: Right. Right. Aaron: Alex, I cut you off. Alex: Yeah, well I love what you're you're saying there, Ashley. And 'cause like Aaron and I have talked about it's I think more so with Aaron, because he's been doing it longer than I have, where it's just like, and now it feels weird not going to the gym. So that ritual, like one of the many other rituals, one of the many rituals that he has is just like, now it's weird that I'm not going to this thing. How long f Right. Right. Exactly. Ashlee Crofts: Yeah. You feel it's almost like you feel like you're you're out of balance, like something's off. Aaron: Yes, exactly. Yes. Alex: How long And I know this is gonna vary for like different people, like how long was it? Cause you said it was it's been eight years of sobriety. Ashlee Crofts: Mm-hmm. Alex: how long do you feel like it took you? Not that I want people comparing yourself against Ashley, but just so people understand this isn't like a overnight thing. How long do you feel like it took you until you're like, I'm feeling pretty I'm feeling pretty good now? Cause you had the two year sobriety that didn't work out, and then eight now we're going on eight years, like what Ashlee Crofts: Yes. Alex: do you what feels different between these two? Ashlee Crofts: I think I was more committed to the process. I think there was more of a realization I had some spiritual experiences. I remember, I think it took me about two years, and I I I tell people this when I'm sharing my story that there's an aspect of sobriety, and there's an aspect of I would say any addiction where you wake up to the nightmare. I think that the idea is is we try to get people like, okay, if you can just get healthy, if you can, you know, stop drinking, get rid of the addiction, it's all rainbows, unicorns, and sunshine. And that wasn't my experience. My experience was I got about two years in and probably two between two and three, and I hit that point of like, okay, this is the longest I've gone. And I started feeling like, okay, my brain doesn't feel s as sick. Like I it was almost like I noticed like my brain was healing. I didn't feel like, the the alcohol fog, I guess you would call it. but then it was like this crushing, like, my gosh, what have I done with my life? Like there there's this thought of like knowing I need to make a change and I want to get better. And then you start doing it and you're like, Wow, this was worse than I thought. And I'm talking about relationships with myself. I'm talking about relationships with my kids. I'm talking about future hopes and desires, goals, and and so that was Enlightening. That was something that I don't know that I had heard from anyone else. And so navigating that with the same mindset again, I was committed to healing. I was committed to figuring out what is driving this. Why can't I stop? And this, I talk a lot about alcoholism, but I want to just reiterate that like this plays into my weight loss journey as well. My alcoholism and my weight loss journey are tied very closely. I believe that I became an alcoholic because of, you know, because of trauma and and lacking the ability to instill appropriate coping mechanisms. but Yeah, I would say it was about two years in before I real before I started feeling like, okay, we can we can work with this. It sucks. but what do you do? You know, you go back. No, we don't want to do that. It's only forward. We have to find out. We have to have more conversations with ourselves, with our God, with our with our family, and and and really figure out what's right for us and and really figure out like what is your why, what is your purpose, and what's gonna keep you going, what's gonna sustain that sobriety, whether it's from alcohol, food. battery, whatever it is, how do I find value within myself so that I can show up and and live my purpose and hopefully have other other people help live help them live their purpose if if that's how it's supposed Aaron: Yeah. Ashlee Crofts: to be. Aaron: Yeah. And I agree. Like, especially like I don't think any of us have it all figured out. Nobody does. We like to pretend like we do, but I I agree with you, like once you have at least an aspect of your life figured out, if you're a good person, you want to like share that with as many people as you can to try and help people that were in it's like for me, I I like there's obviously more this podcast is because you so graciously came on, but I hate So, anyways, for about me, was like once I lost all the weight, I've I have lots of friends and family that are overweight. And you get the questions about hey, what did you do? And that's I love I love helping people with like kind of losing weight. And everyone has their own way of doing things. So for you, Ashley, what worked for you might not exactly work for everybody, but at least you can give them your story and Ashlee Crofts: Yeah. Aaron: And p aspects. Alex: It's inspirational. Aaron: Yeah, and aspects Ashlee Crofts: Yeah. Aaron: of what you did do can help that specific person. So that's what I I I really like. I I thank you so much for sharing what you're sharing. This is this is great. Ashlee Crofts: Yeah. Aaron: I I did so you got to two years, and you're maybe like at that point you felt like you were you were locked in. What did you start doing from that I guess two year period? What it what what was there any like like tweaks or adjustments that you were making to Make it work for the next six. Ashlee Crofts: that's kind of a hard question. I feel like it's been like again, it's as as you know with your with your journey sorry, with your with your situation. It's been it Aaron: No, it's fine, it's fine. It's okay. Alex: It's okay. It doesn't matter. Don't worry about it. Ashlee Crofts: it it really is. It's hard when somebody's like, Well, what did you do? And it's like, How much time do you have? Like how long do we have to actually sit down? 'Cause and Aaron: Yeah. Sure. Ashlee Crofts: I'm sure that there's things that I don't even remember. Yeah. I mean eight years Alex: Yeah. Ashlee Crofts: and and and my weight loss journey really goes even bef you know even further back than that, I would say good fifteen years to get where where I am. But I would say I actually wrote down some notes on my phone because I knew this was gonna happen. They were gonna Aaron: Good. Ashlee Crofts: When you talk about like little tweaks and stuff like that, I think it was just the process the the ability to go, I don't have it all figured out. I'm still learning. And making sure that while I was doing that, I still had my my my bumper guard, my my safety rails up with myself. there's been a lot of, how do I say this? A lot of time where I have had to celebrate my own wins. There's been times where I like I've had to be like, okay, that was good, or like, okay, that wasn't so good. And being able to be so honest, like I I I keep bringing it back to this honesty, but like being able to be honest with yourself. Take your inventory. They talk about inventory at AA. I'm gonna be really honest. I went to one AA meeting and I was out. But I have, I have, you know, I've read the 12 steps. But I think that if there's one thing that when you talk about tweaks, it's not even a tweak. Life hack. Be honest with yourself. Even if it hurts, if you can't be honest with yourself, you can't fix it. If you can't be like, I think this is going on or that's going on and and and not do it with this mindset of, I'm so stupid, like, why am I gonna, you know, you're talking, you know, saying those things to yourself, like you're not gonna get anywhere. If you can't just say, like, this, this is where I'm at and this sucks, what's my path forward? Like there's so many times, so many conversations within myself where I was literally like, left, right, left. You're just putting one foot in front of the other. And you do, you kind of go autopilot and and and you rely on those habits that you've put in place for yourself so that when you're on autopilot, you just automatically, you know, the hope is that you just automatically do it and that you're safe and so that you're not, you know, back at the liquor store, back at McDonald's or, you know, missing the gym for a week and feeling like crap. I I really think that I don't know that there's a safety. Like I put reminders in my phone to remind myself to take my supplements. But I just think that there is, you have to be, I don't want to say constantly aware, but you really do kind of have to just always Aaron: Yes. Ashlee Crofts: be aware of where you're at. What do I want today? today's this, today's a hard day. I I need to rest today. It's been a rough week. I need to do some journaling. I need to go and do my my walk, do my, I call it EMDR walk, to work through things, but just coming back to those, those, those things that you put in place for yourself to keep yourself safe, more like I like I I create my own babysitter. I used to say I I'd use sticky notes. Now we have reminders that we can put in our phones to kind of keep us keep us on track. But I don't know that there was like one tweak. I think it's just an awareness and honesty. Aaron: Yeah. Surprise many. Yeah. Ashlee Crofts: So Aaron: Yes. Yes. so you this is again, I'm gonna say this. This is so great. I'm really glad you I r I'm so glad you came on. This is no, not at all. No, not at Ashlee Crofts: I hope it's so great. I'm like oversharing. So Aaron: not at all. so as far as like the the I almost wanna wanna pivot a little bit to the you're you're busy. You you have children, you have a job. How are you making sure that you're making it to the the gym on like a regular basis? Like because we hear this all I get this all the time. All the time. And so I'm sure you've heard this, actually. I just don't got time to go to the gym. I don't got time to, you know, to fo meal prep or whatever it is. Like, how are you staying consistent? Because that's I think that's one, yeah, consistency. Like I I love consistency. Yes. How are you doing Ashlee Crofts: Consistency, consistency, absolutely. Aaron: it? Ashlee Crofts: You have time for what you make time for. Okay. So Aaron: Yes. Ashlee Crofts: when I hear I have clients tell me all the time, I just don't have and I and I've said this myself. I don't have time for XYZ. We have time for what we make time for. So I will tell you, I am kind of always thinking ahead. I'm always having to plan. I'm always having to know what's in my fridge so that I know when I need to grill my chicken. I know when I need to cook my rice. I know when I need to cook my turkey fish, whatever it is. I think that something else that helps me and I I wonder if this is the same for you, Erin, is I eat so we w when you're talking specifically about diet and staying on track, like I eat kind of the same thing every day and I'm fine with it. And so and Aaron: Sure. Yes. Yes. Ashlee Crofts: so and that's a lot of bodybuilders, a lot of people who are in the fitness industry, like work smarter, not harder, buddy. Like make the same meal, you eat the same thing, and if you don't like it, like Sorry. Like it sucks, but you have to also find ways that like, okay, so on the Alex: Figure do something else. Yeah. Ashlee Crofts: weekend I have my sushi. On the weekend I have my protein ice cream. Like you make you make time for that, that, that, those things that are disciplined so that you can have the fun things. And so Aaron: Yes. Ashlee Crofts: when it comes to when it comes to getting to the gym, I know what I have going on the next day, as as a person with a career and a job and children and and whatnot, like I I have to be aware of what's going on the next day. And then I'm planning like, okay, do I need to be to the gym this early or can I go in the afternoon this time? Or is and so I don't have a set, I try to go in the morning. I usually I, you know, I try to try to get up, get ready, get my breakfast in me, and then I'm usually at the gym. But there are days that you can't make it. And guess what? Does it help you to shame Aaron: It's okay. Ashlee Crofts: yourself and be like, I didn't do it this day and I suck and now that's where I think that's where people kinda they fall off the wagon. They're not honest Aaron: Yes. Yep. Ashlee Crofts: with themselves and saying, you know what, today is gonna be different and that's okay. Like that's fine. Freaking give yourself some grace. Like you're trying. And so so if you make it to the gym that day Celebrate the heck out of that, you know, celebrate those wins. And so that's Aaron: Yeah. Yeah. Ashlee Crofts: really what helps me. Like if like you'll hear me sometimes and be like, good job, Ashley. Good job. And it's Aaron: Ha ha ha. Ashlee Crofts: so silly. Or or if I say something negative, I'll be like, delete, delete, delete that. Like get that out of there. We don't need that in our in our energy. And so. Aaron: Well and then and then also like like I liked what you said, like and if you don't make it to the gym, don't beat yourself up over Ashlee Crofts: Yeah. Aaron: it. Like that's just one okay, you didn't make it to the gym today because you had like too much stuff going on, but don't let Ashlee Crofts: Yeah. Aaron: that become the consistency. Like th Ashlee Crofts: Or even if you didn't have too much stuff, like sorry, and I just totally interrupted you. I'm sorry. Aaron: Sure, no, no, go. Ashlee Crofts: But even if you didn't have like like you had all the time in the world, you just didn't have motivation that day because you were tired. Like being able to take that inventory and go, I am genuinely needing a rest. My soul needs a rest, as opposed to an excuse. And Aaron: Yes. Ashlee Crofts: only we can decide for ourselves what what that is, but Aaron: Right. Right. Alex: It seems like excuses end up becoming like habits. So like like when Ashlee Crofts: Absolutely. Alex: someone's like using it as an excuse, like you're you're almost always going to be like, and then I'm gonna miss it the next day, and then the next day. When you're doing it for those reasons that you're describing, where it's like my body really needs Ashlee Crofts: Yeah. Alex: the rest, your body's gonna be super happy to do whatever workout is for the next day because it has had that rest. So it's it's almost like what Aaron was saying too. Like it's Ashlee Crofts: Yeah. Yep. Well knowing it can't build without it. Alex: you want to make sure you're not like hitting, it's like, and Ashlee Crofts: Yeah. Alex: now today I'm not gonna do it. Now today and now today, and Ashlee Crofts: Yep. Alex: now it's become this new bad habit. Ashlee Crofts: Yeah, people I I think that people get in this mindset of it's all or nothing as opposed to this is a lifestyle. I've been asked so many times before I actually started competing, like, what are you training for? You competing, like, what's going on? I'm like, I'm training for ninety five, y'all. Like, I want to be able to Aaron: Yes, yeah. Ashlee Crofts: toilet myself when I am ninety five years old and goals. So but Alex: Yeah. Aaron: No, I r I really like that. And we are and now this could backfire. I'm a giant proponent of just tracking everything. Do you track anything? Like as far as Yes. Yes. Ashlee Crofts: I track everything. And I'll tell you why. And maybe this is the same reason for you. there is a bit of an OCD there. Aaron: Yes. Ashlee Crofts: but I tell people, these are tools. We have we have a whole toolbox, we have a tool belt, whatever you want to call it. And if you don't know where you're at, you're guessing. Like I could in my mind be tallying up my egg whites and my calories from that with my rice and or you know, whatever it is, but I'm guessing. I don't know for sure. I I feel like my brain works pretty okay. I can do some math, but I if it's not written down, I'm I'm literally just guessing. And then there's something and that's with food, okay? But with like with workouts, Aaron: Yes. Mm-hmm. Ashlee Crofts: If you're just doing the same workout on the same workout, like your body's not getting stronger, we know that our bodies need to be challenged with resistance to get stronger. Our bodies are really good at acclimating. We're really good at making things easier because it's survival, right? And so if I'm not tracking my son, I I have this argue with my my young, my 19-year-old son, because he's all sharp and young and he knows all the things, right? And Aaron: PH Ashlee Crofts: and I'm like, dude, you gotta write it down like progressive overline, like there's no way I'm gonna remember exactly. What I lifted a week ago. And I like to be able to look in my app and right. Okay, I could go on and on. But and I Aaron: Preach, preach, Ashley, preach. Yes. Ashlee Crofts: and the same thing with like weight, like weighing yourself. Like people, I don't want to weigh myself. And I don't either. I don't weigh myself. I weigh myself when I have to do my check-in. And that's when I started weighing myself. However, I have told my clients more than once: this is a tool. This is a tool to gauge where we're at. It's no different than if I busted out a ruler and the rule, you know, measure my forearm. How long is my forearm? Is it longer to you know? And that's Aaron: Yes. Ashlee Crofts: really what it's off of. And I'll say the same thing. with your GLP ones. I think that those are tools. they have a bad rap for being like a magic, magic wand cheat tool. No, it's a tool. Don't get mad at me for using the tools in my tool belt. So. Aaron: Yeah, yes. No, and I like we've we've talked to we had my brother on and he uses a GLP one, but it's using the tool correctly, right? Like just that Ashlee Crofts: Yes, yep. Aaron: it it it's there's a difference between a tool and a crutch. So if you're using it as a tool to help you with like regulating, you know, binge eating, but you're still putting in the work, you're still tracking everything, you're you're getting the right amount of protein in, then it's great. I think the problem that you run into with GLP ones is people just use as a crutch and like, sweet, I'm never hungry, I'm losing all this weight. Ashlee Crofts: I'm eating whatever I want. Aaron: Not to mention yes, and I'm losing and I'm also losing all of this muscle. Why do I look super emaciated and like I can't, you know, I'd have zero energy. And so I I yeah, we have I have zero problem with with using all the tools that you can as long as you're using those tools correctly. I think it's great. I I really do. Sure, exactly. Ashlee Crofts: Yep. And to create better habits. I I truly believe like, you know, specifically with those GLP ones, that is such an opportunity to create better habits for yourself. So. Aaron: Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. so that's great. And so you started you don't have you do not have to answer this question, but I would just want to throw it out there anyway. you started you said you was what, two sixty one? Two sixty two was the heaviest you ever were? Ashlee Crofts: Okay, Alex: Aaron, you can't ask Ashley how much she weighs. You can't do that. Ashlee Crofts: I think my teviest was like two sixty three. I was actually just thinking about this. I'm like, Aaron: sixty three. Ashlee Crofts: I wanna go back through some of my medical cause that 'cause that was one that I saw on a medical chart. I think that I was probably closer to two eighty, but at this point I'm like whatever. Y you lost a bunch of ways. So Aaron: Hey, twinners I was two eighty. Do you mind Alex: Ha ha ha. Aaron: do you you don't have to answer this? Do you mind saying what you weigh I know you're not supposed to ask a woman this, what you weigh now? Ashlee Crofts: I don't care. I think I weigh one twenty-five. Let me look at my app here. I wrote it down. 125.4 Aaron: You sh great. How good. Yes, exactly. Ashlee Crofts: was what I weighed this last Friday. Aaron: Beautiful. How long I'm because this is another thing we're the you the I there's a reason I'm asking this is just like huh, how much do you weigh? There there is we live in a a I want things now society. How long did it take you to go from let's just say 260, from 260 to where you're at now? How much time did that take? Ashlee Crofts: Ten years? That's just a guess. I'm just throwing it out there. And I will say there has been some yo-yo. there Aaron: Okay, yeah, sure, yeah. Yes, yeah. Ashlee Crofts: has as I'm figuring things out, women's hormones are legit. It's a thing. and turning 40. Aaron: Yeah. Ashlee Crofts: We could do a whole podcast just on that. And we'll talk about the chin hairs. Aaron: Yeah. Alex: We'll have you back on. We'll have you back on for that one. Ashlee Crofts: It's rude. So rude. But No, I would say I would say honestly, my weight my weight journey has been a lifelong journey. Like I said, from I I grew up in a house, youngest of seven. I have four gorgeous older sisters, a beautiful mom, and there was a lot of emphasis placed on how we looked and not not Because we're, you know, evil people. That's just the way that it was. And and so, you know, I grew up h learning to hide food and hide things that I had done. And and so when you say like my journey, like I would say my concerted effort journey, I would say would be at least at least ten years, maybe even fifteen. Where like I don't know if you've seen the memes where it's like, I was this years old when I figured this out. I'm like, I was 40-something years old when I finally figured out how my body works, how to eat correctly, how to take care of my skin correctly. Like there's so many silly things that I could be like, it's taken some time. Aaron: Yeah. I mean I was Ashlee Crofts: Like be so graceful with yourself. Yeah. Good job. Aaron: I was forty one years old when I figured out that I needed to stop being super fat. Alex: I just started using lotion yesterday. Ashlee Crofts: Yeah. Aaron: and my thing was my thing honestly was just a I mean, if you've listened to the podcast, I've told this story a million times. You probably probably haven't heard it, Ashley. There's a quote from this Navy SEAL who's just like, Everyone, every every dad says you take a bullet for your kids, but you won't lose 40 pounds for your kids. And like that Ashlee Crofts: You won't lose forty pounds, yep. Aaron: that stuck with me forever. That's like been my my thing. And so it's like, yep. So that was kind of my my that was my motivation. And then it just like And then it's funny because once you hit that certain level, like, yeah, I lost my, you know, I lost my forty pound. well, I could lose another twenty pounds. And then Ashlee Crofts: Yeah. Aaron: just and this getting more and more and more into Well Lloyd, do you are you with Lloyd? Is Lloyd your coach? Yes. Shout out to Lloyd. Out Ashlee Crofts: Heck yeah, I'm with Lloyd. Yeah. Lloyd's my I'm gonna be like Lloyd's my buddy, and he's gonna be like, shut up, Ashley. Don't tell him you know me. No, I go to Aaron: No no Ashlee Crofts: I do Lloyd Leg Day every Friday. That has been life changing. I'm gonna do a post. Aaron: Dude, I did Ashlee Crofts: I haven't been posting as much, but I need to do a post specifically about my legs. Like, you guys could come to Lloyd Leg Day. We have a good time. Good for you! Congratulations. I hope you're eating. Aaron: I did Lloyd Legly today and I could barely walk. Yeah. S also screw you, Lloyd, for making me do that. I mean, thank you. Thank you, Lloyd. Yeah, he's great. No, it Ashlee Crofts: L Lloyd is amazing. He will take that as a compliment. That made him so happy. Aaron: I did I when I when I when I do my check ins, I was like, I hate you so much for leg day. But I know, I was like, but but thank you. I need to build my quads. Yeah. See you next week. Ashlee Crofts: I hate you so much, thank you, sir. May I have another? Can we do it again next week? Aaron: but yeah, no, it's it's I what did I get off from from that? I just I that's kind of what I wanted to like tell people. It's just it's it's a it I know we hate saying journey, but it really is a journey. Like you're it's not quick. I have a friend who's in the process Ashlee Crofts: Mm. Aaron: of losing weight and he's just like it's just not coming off fast enough. I was like, dude, you've lost thirty pounds. Like you're doing great. Alex: Ha ha ha. Aaron: Just keep doing Ashlee Crofts: You've lost a sack of flour, like you're Aaron: Do you think about this? Do you do farmer carries? I think so, I'll do farmer carries. And so Ashlee Crofts: Yes, yep. Aaron: every time I'll do like, you know, whatever it is. I'm Bragging. I'll do like hundred, hundred pound dumbbells. And or whatever it is. And so you just walk with it. And I'm like, Ashlee Crofts: Yep. Aaron: I can't believe there was one point when I first started doing farmers carriers where I was doing, I think it was like 80, I had like 80 pounds total. So it's 40 at each hand. And I was like, I can't believe I was literally just like carrying this around all the time. I think about that all the time whenever, whenever I'm I'm doing those. Ashlee Crofts: Legit. Yep. Yep. Yep. Aaron: And so anyways, go back to my body, I was like, dude, you're doing great. Just like, but just keep going. Like, don't get like unmotivated Ashlee Crofts: Yeah. Aaron: or demotivated, whatever you want to say, just you're doing the right stuff. Just keep going. It takes time. It'll it'll happen. So I'm glad I'm glad you're you're all about the consistency is great. It really is. Ashlee Crofts: Absolutely. And it's and Alex: Kind of crazy Ashlee Crofts: it's sad because Alex: about Ashlee Crofts: there are people, you know, you talk about like you take a bullet for your kid. Like there are people that they're like, Yeah, I take a bullet rather than have to lose that hundred pounds. And I think it's Aaron: Sure. Ashlee Crofts: you know, through my through my with my story, there have been so many times that I have gone I have said to myself, I didn't think I could do that. I didn't think I could do that. my gosh, what else can I do? I never thought Aaron: Yes. Ashlee Crofts: that my body could Alex: That's cool. Ashlee Crofts: look the way that it looks right now. I never thought that I would feel comfortable wearing like little shorts to work out in or just shorts, like to show off like even and I'm not talking like, you know, not like out there, you know, boot hanging out, but but you know, wearing Aaron: Yeah. Ashlee Crofts: stuff that you like wanna wear and you Alex: Hey. Do you? Ashlee Crofts: know, and and and enjoy Aaron: Yes. Ashlee Crofts: it and feel confident. Like my back. I talk about my back and wearing tight tops and and having, you know, I remember having back fat rolls and And it really can just be so overwhelming and so daunting. And so if you know, if I if I had something to say to somebody, it's like if you can, if you can think about yourself in the future, like I think about myself now and it, I don't want to get emotional on the podcast, but I think about where I was and it would blow my whole mind if Ashley 10 years ago was able to look at Ashley now, I would, I'd be like, no, there's no way. There's no way. It's a journey of a thousand steps, a thousand tears, a thousand times that you look at yourself and you have to tell yourself, we want this, we're worth this. It's not because of somebody else necessarily. And forgive me for saying this, but you can't do it for your kids. Kids aren't enough. Like we love our kids. You have to have that desire for yourself and no one else. Aaron: Read. Yes, I totally agree. Yeah, that's that's you couldn't have said it any better. but all right. So honestly, Ashley, we could talk to you for another, I don't know, eight hours. but what do you have any questions, Alex, specifically you wanted to ask first? Alex: No, like I've it's just an interesting, and maybe I'll cut this out what I'm about to say. But we're recording this on July twenty-third. The big movie right now is the Odyssey, and it's like one of those like mindset things that kind of frustrates me a little bit, where it's like the Odyssey, one of the oldest tales of all time, is about this guy who it takes 10 years to get home. So like this has been part and literally Odyssey means journey. It's where we get the word journey from. And so like it kind of ble I I'm having like this with Ashley, you saying 10 years ago, me and like me thinking. About 10 years ago, me and 10 years future me in the future. Like, this has been like a story as old as time where, like, we Ashlee Crofts: Yep. Alex: know to get the things that you want, it takes time. And yet we have then t all of human history is getting away from that. Like, we try to like we want everything now, we want everything right away, right away, right away, where we know. Ashlee Crofts: yeah, you can have dinner right now. You can have dinner delivered to your door. You don't have to do anything, you know. Yep. Alex: Yeah, right. You just sit there. You literally like it's there's the joke from Aaron: Yeah. Alex: Jim Gaffkin who's like, I think I'll have cheese if I can go like this, like talking about like a spray cheese can. And it's like what Yeah, yeah, exactly. Ashlee Crofts: Yeah, yeah, yes. It's too much effort Aaron: Yeah. Alex: Like we forgot like that in like in our bones, like in our genetics from four thousand, ten thousand, however you want to talk, years ago, like Ashlee Crofts: Yeah, we were hunter gatherers. Alex: It was like we we it takes time to like do all of these things. So I don't really have Ashlee Crofts: Yeah. Alex: a question from that. It's just kind of d all I'm just getting hit by a bunch of like epiphanies right as like we're having this c so thank you Ashley for for sharing sharing that there because I've been I'll Ashlee Crofts: I love that. Alex: tell you what, Ashley. I've been struggling. Like I've been doing Aaron's been coaching me for twenty-three days. And I'm just like, man, waking up at four forty five every single day is like really hard. And like there's been like days where I'm just like, I like don't want to do it, but I keep doing it because I don't want to screw things up for Aaron, right? And so like that's like what my motivation. And then you're look and then you say in Ashley, like, well, it's not just for your kids. And so like I have to get that out of my mindset. Like, this isn't for Aaron. Like you're you're ultimately at the end of the day, like doing it for yourself. So just really appreciate Ashlee Crofts: It's for yourself and Alex: that. Yeah. Ashlee Crofts: well and also doing the things that other people aren't willing to do. How many people are willing Aaron: Yes. Ashlee Crofts: to get up at 4 a.m. to make their physical goals? there there really is this aspect of like choosing to make yourself uncomfortable. Like how many times have you heard choose your heart? Guess what guys? 263 pounds, not being able to move, breathe, wear the clothes that I want, play with my kids? Hard. Really hard. Getting up at four Aaron: Yeah. Exactly. Ashlee Crofts: AM, hard. But I would venture to say it's only hard for a minute. And guess what, Alex? You've done it for 23 days. You've technically built a habit. Do you have like an applause button? Do we have an applause button? I think they say, I think it's 21 Aaron: Yeah yeah Alex Alex: Yeah, I'm almost there. Is that is it twenty three days? Is it twenty-three days? Boop boop boop. Ashlee Crofts: days that they say it takes to build a habit. So that's inspiring. Alex: Let's go. Let's go. All right. Aaron: Go, Alex. Ashlee Crofts: And even if and and I'm gonna say, I did say a lot, I you know, I talked about like, you know, don't do it just for your kids, don't do it just for yourself. But I will say there are times that if that's what motivates you, if you're doing it because your partner's doing it. I don't care, you're still doing it, but some point in time you got to figure that out for yourself. because that could all go away. And then and then what are we left with? We we we still Aaron: Right, right. Ashlee Crofts: have to have what we want and what we need and and I think that there's something about choosing that difficult path and knowing that we're becoming stronger and that we're learning and and the vanity of it is certainly hoping that you are helping someone else along the way. Aaron: Right, right, yeah, exactly. And it is feel it does feel weird Ashlee Crofts: Mm-hmm. Aaron: like posting stuff on I I I I hate social media. I hate social media. Like I I always feel like the biggest douchebag. I'm like, hey, look at me, I don't have a shirt on, look how good I look. Yeah, look at me. But it's more of just like I was a regular dude. I was really fat and this is like I'm not I don't there's Ashlee Crofts: It's so vulnerable. Yeah. Yeah. I'm so cool. Yeah. Yeah. Aaron: nothing special about me. Anyone can do this. Is it like the the only reason I I do Yes. Exactly. It's not like Ashlee Crofts: Yep. You can do it like every you want people to know they can do it too. Aaron: hey Tell me how good I look. It's more just like I'm just I it's so anyway, sorry. Okay, but yeah. The Ashlee Crofts: Absolutely. I'm picking up what you're putting down, Erin. Aaron: but what I all right, so I got just one more question. and as it is just the parting wisdom that you would like to give to people that are, you know, starting their rebuild. We're not saying journey. Ashlee Crofts: people that are starting their journey. Aaron: Life rebuild. Ashlee Crofts: It's hard. I don't want to get emotional and I'm I'm I don't know if that's just a woman thing, but I wish that I could give everyone the power of belief in themselves and in this life. I believe that we are put here to not just learn and develop our purpose and our impact on I guess the world for lack of better way of saying it. But We're put here to have experiences to learn. And I think that there is the ability to choose for ourselves whether or not we want to learn those lessons. Because there is within everybody's capacity to just sit and allow life to happen to them. My hope for people is that even if you're not climbing, you know. I'm trying to think of a big mountain, Mount Bora, you know, climbing a big mountain. You're not doing something big, like still finding value within yourself and knowing that you have a purpose and having the courage to step outside, even if it's scary, even if you don't believe that you can do it, but having the courage to just to just try. Just give it a try and believe in yourself and then. when you feel that positive, when you feel that good, acknowledge it and celebrate it. Don't give in to the darkness, but acknowledge that it's there because the darkness can also drive you. The darkness can give you motivation. And I use the word the darkness, that can mean whatever you want it to mean. It doesn't have to necessarily have connotations with like the devil or evil or whatever. Whatever that dark feeling is for you, whether that's resistance to going to the gym because, my gosh, there's so many people there and what are they gonna think of me? You know, just being able to say, you know what, here I am, I don't know what's ahead of me. But I'm gonna give it my all and I'm gonna give it my good my good. I'm gonna give it my good, my good soul, my good try. And I'm gonna show up and knowing that you're showing up for yourself. And by showing up for yourself, you're showing up for the people around you. And you're showing. You know, bring it back to your kids. You're showing your kids that they can do hard things. you're showing other people that they can do hard things, but gosh dang it, you're showing yourself. You're showing yourself that you're worth it. You can do hard things. And you might not be, you know, climbing Mount Bora today, but you want to, and that's valuable. That's something. Give that power. I hope that makes sense. Aaron: That no, that was that was awesome. again, we could talk for another eight hours. Ashlee Crofts: Mm-hmm. Aaron: but thank you so much, Ashley, for coming on. And just before I end this, a lot of people want to know what what does unsexy mean? The unsexy is just doing the unsexy things in life. So going to the gym, tracking Ashlee Crofts: Yes. Aaron: your food, that kind of stuff. So I we get a lot of questions like, what is Alex: Waking up at four forty five. Aaron: unsexy? What does that mean? So we're I'll have like the shirt that Alex has on our words at the gym. They're just like, What's unsexy? What is that? It's like Ashlee Crofts: Yeah. Well, I've told people like sexy people are boring. People who are in shape, we're boring AF because you know what? We do the same thing Aaron: Yeah. Ashlee Crofts: every day. We eat the same thing. We do the same workouts. I'm sorry, but I'm not out there doing fancy schmancy like weird movements at the gym. Like I'm doing deadlifts and squats and I'm doing all the same the same thing over and over again. So yeah. Anyway. Aaron: Yeah. The stuff that works. Yes, yes. Alex: Tried and true. Aaron: Well, thank you again, Ashley, for being on and everybody Ashlee Crofts: Thank you. Aaron: go out there and be unsexy. Ashlee Crofts: It's been an honor. Thank you so much, you guys.