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The Power of Acceptance · UNLOADED

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: I'd like to welcome everybody back to our podcast unloaded.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_01: This is Michael Seahorn.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_01: Shannon Moro.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_01: I'm glad to be here today recording once again with my partner Shannon.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_01: Shannon, how are you today, man?
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_01: I'm well.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_01: Sound a little sound a little congested today.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: A little bit.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: Swimming around.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, swimming a lot in the water and stuff.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_01: Make sure you're healthy.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_01: Healthy enough.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_01: Healthy enough.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: Because remember what I remember what we talked about that one time, man.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_01: You got you got a thousand problems every day until you get sick.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: And you got one problem.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, it's going around too.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: I'm still got a little bit of a little bit of stuff here too, man.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it's been a it's been a good uh been a good few weeks, I think, since the last time we met.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: I know you've got a you've had a lot going on yourself.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um yeah, it's just been uh it's been it's been a better week, man.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: I think I I think I I had some uh personal resolution, if you will.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: That's really new.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_01: I know last episode or two, I can't remember when it was, but I I shared a little bit with our listeners about some of the stuff that was going on and some of the hard stuff that I was dealing with.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_01: But um I I've been busy last two weekends.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: We've we've had a lot of people over.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_01: So my my brother, my nephews came up on uh on um Labor Day weekend.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, cool, got the poles in the water a little bit because they're huge fisher fishermen, so uh, you know, that was good.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: But I I think when you get you know whether it's your family, and we had some really uh long, long time friends come up last weekend.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um when you have people who are close to you, like really close to you, uh whether it's your family or just really good, you know, long, long time friends it's it's a little refreshing, man, because you can you can just tell them enough and then they're good.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: They just let you be.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_01: It's not the bombardment of just you know, an hour of questions and giving you their opinions and you know telling you what they would do and you know what I mean.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: You know I'm going with that?
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_01: So I I think it helped a lot uh internally just to, you know.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: I I appreciate my brother's um advice and opinion, you know, so just sharing with him what was going on and where I was at, you know, mentally, you know, and spiritually.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_01: So that was that was a little refreshing.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, and it sounds like beyond the advice or opinions that your brother offered, it was more just his receptivity.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, 100%.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, just providing, you know, you you've been going through a lot, man.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: You were pretty weighted down.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: And so be to be able to with your brother just kind of unload some of that stuff a little bit, him just like, huh?
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: Who who knows you so well and has that understanding kind of for what your experience of a lot of that was, you know, and just being seen, being heard is generally even much more valuable than any um guidance we could offer.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, it you're right, man.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's I think I think what else I appreciate is that you know, uh everybody needs a couple people in their inner circle that will always tell you the the good and the bad.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: They're not gonna just sugarcoat it and tell you what you want to hear.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: Because I I find that I don't need that personally.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: What I need are people to, you know, like like us, you know, I need someone that will call me out and say, uh, you might not be seeing this picture fully, you know.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: Um so it's it's good to have those people who have the ability to give you a different viewpoint, yeah, you know, and not make you feel bad about your opinion or how you're feeling about it, but just a different perspective.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: That's all that outside perspective.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: Because all we're experiencing is our very filtered perceptions of things, and then but to have that those trusted others, um, and you kind of establish a lot of that is through longer-term relationships, people who have known us a long time, and that's you know, it's not like they're more skilled at communicating with us per se.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's just often um there's more trust in the r relationship, just it being long-term.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: You know, that rapport is definitely established, and you know, they can say the exact same thing to you that what a coworkers say to you, and if that coworker said it to you, you could get really pissed off.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: But it coming from like a sibling or a dear friend, and it's like, oh, okay, he this isn't as adversarial, this is an outside perspective that might be harder for me to take in, and um maybe I should at least consider it.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, that's that's 100% fair, man.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I think a lot of times too, uh at least with myself, and we've talked about it many, many, many times here on Unloaded, is just about sitting with that weight, sitting with the weight, thinking about whatever those issues are and letting that process work out, whatever the an individual's process is.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_01: And and I knew, and I talked about it, I think a few weeks back, is I knew that this was going to take some time for me to work through it because there's a lot attachment to that.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_01: And we know in my world, especially in the Buddhist world, that attachment can create some suffering.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: So getting through that raw emotional uh period, if you will, just that the anger, the rage, the uh, you know, whether it's uh fear, yeah, fear's a good one, thank you.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_01: Uh you're just uh you're you're sad at some level, you're you know, you got a little bit of that victim feeling, like I was wronged, and right.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: So that's a whole lot of internal energy.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: So for me, I always default back to uh it's probably one of my most favorite things is don't make it worse than it is.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: So I that's almost a double negative.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: That's a one and a half negative, don't make it worse.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like, but so thank you though.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: That right because often we do.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, because I it's easy for me to spin myself up.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, so easy.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: We can all do that.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: But without even trying, actually attempting to prevent it, and it still happens.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so so for me, when I'm when I'm really starting to if if and I think I talked about this before, it's like when I feel myself slipping backwards in I feel like I'm allowing my ego and my thoughts to start overrunning my brain again.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: I default to r just telling myself, hey, like you you are making this a little bit worse than it is.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: That's a good default, man.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: You can kick back to oh no, I'm mostly creating this.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, let's not make this worse.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and it it there's a lot of work involved here.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: So I don't I don't want to make light of how we spin out.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, how how you can crash out.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's what the new term is these days, crashing out or whatever it is.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_01: But for me, it's just it's a it's a very deep process in my thoughts.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: It's a deep process in feeling, whatever the feelings may be that are coming up.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_01: And then trying the best I can to look at it from a a very practical, common sense position.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: And it's it's difficult to do, right?
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: When we are overcome by emotion or even our thoughts are wound up, yeah, it it's very difficult, thank you, to actually just allow for good old fashioned practicality.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: Just, oh, what's reasonable here?
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: What's rational?
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: What what makes sense, right?
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: Common sense.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: And but a lot of that is lost a lot of the time when we, you know, are overcome by our inner distress.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and it you know, and like you were saying earlier, it's it's nice because you know, with my brother, I can I can get out all the rage and all the frustration, and he doesn't take it personal, and he knows I'm just venting, right?
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, he's quick to be like, hey, you've worked really, really hard to get where you're at.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_01: You know, those things that you're thinking or feeling, they're not worth it.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's not worth engaging in the negative, it's not worth engaging in a verbal confrontation where I already know the outcome, right?
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: I've d I've dealt with those things with certain type of people, if you will, time and time and time and time and time again.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_01: So there's a repetitive pattern here, you know, and it's good for me to hear somebody tell me, like, hey, you you could do that.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: Sure, you could you could go full frontal, just you know, let it let it rip, but you know the outcome, you know where that's gonna get you, right?
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I heard um from all people.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I one of my my daughter had told me she's like, Yeah, dad, you're you you need to be you and you need to be the better example, you know.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Thank you for that.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_01: I appreciate that uh reminder, um, because it's difficult, man.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's difficult, bro.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_01: Like I, you know, there are many times over the last week, man, where I just felt like F this.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you kind of get in that mindset.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_01: You're like, fuck this, I'm ready.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know, let's just throw everything out, man, on the table and just get after it.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: But at what cost?
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: Uh yeah, when we are feeling a little more um let's just like conflict-oriented, when we are get so pressurized or so triggered or in turmoil that that energy builds up to that point that it is pressurized, it is wanting to come out and often be directed at what we are perceiving as creating a lot of that energy, hence the confrontation often between individuals.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um and what you're doing, slowing it down, um, just looking at self.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, okay, tr attempting to like like I said, your default re-engage and just okay, what's practical here?
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: What's you know, that's that is as you describe a whew, that can be a challenging process because emotions can be so powerful.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: Very powerful for sure.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, after after I kind of work through that raw emotion state comes from me, I think this is where most of my um self-healing comes from is once I can work through the emotions I and I can let things play out inside internally, I finally get to a place where I can accept where I'm at.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_01: I can fully accept where I'm at, I can fully accept what just occurred over the last well now six weeks, let's just call it six weeks, and be okay with it.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_01: And when I say be okay with it, I mean honestly, like in the deepest part of your being, like you really have to be okay with it.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_01: And it's amazing the amount of weight that is lifted from you almost not immediately, but definitely the next morning when you wake up, man.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_01: You just feel like oh man, I I feel lighter today, I feel I feel like I'm more present today, right?
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not overrun with kind of replaying the thing over and over and you know, trying to figure out every 50 different angles of the issue, right?
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_01: Think and think and once that acceptance comes internally and you just and you really believe it in your heart, I think that's where that's where that power comes, man.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, I'm cool with this, man.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: I really am.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_01: Rather, it whatever happens, yep, you know, whatever, whatever path, if if it's only two outcomes, you have to fully accept both those outcomes, whether it's good, bad, positive, or negative.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_01: And when I feel like I'm in that space of like, you know what, man, I'm okay with it.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_01: You know?
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's a pretty good space.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: Tough, tough to get in a lot of time when I mean we do perceive one direction as more favorable than the other direction a lot of the time.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: That could be more stressful or whatever.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but uh allow for, well, whichever way this goes, it's it's it's okay.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: You know, that is like some people refer to that as kind of like a surrender or a letting go or you know, like God, or however we choose to perceive that for ourselves or understand that, or experience it more so, you know, and just that the ease of um just yeah, you said it, acceptance, allowing for okay, here it is.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: This is okay.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know what else too is you know when you when you really do accept it, you you take that power away from that that emotion.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_01: Bingo.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_01: You you take the power from that emotion.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I've talked about it uh months back, but you know, we we call those, you know, I call those those inner demons, right?
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_01: Those those inner demons that you're just you're battling back and forth, back and forth, but then when you stop, you take the power away from it, you feed it.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, it's not that bad.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I see this in a different light.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I feel differently, oh, I can see a little bit clearer, right?
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: You're really touching on some stuff here because often to get to acceptance, we need quite a bit of awareness, what you just described, instead of running from it, avoiding it, uh, not able to face it or even look at it sometimes, or even not even that aware of it, uh, more so than we'd like to admit.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, but we finally allow for the possibility and start to kind of check it out and turn toward it and like, ooh, wow, and just gaining that much more awareness of whatever it is that is so distressing, you know.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: But once you're getting a pretty clear look at it, it's like you just described, it's not quite, it's not actually usually not near as scary or like just ah vexing as we were perceiving it when we were running away from it or avoiding it or distracting ourselves or numbing out or whatever it is, you know, when we actually ooff turn and face it, look at it, and allow for like, oh shit, just allow for the recognition and uh just becoming pretty damn aware of what it is we're dealing with, and that's often ourselves.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: That's why it's so difficult to like look at that part of ourselves that is in a way creating a lot of that.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: But then that's battles half won.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: You you see it, and then seeing it, yeah, it's okay, you know, you can have that except acceptance for it.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know, um something else too I've I noticed is when I'm really trying to deal with something that's uh heavy, if you will, or you know, something that's challenging me.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_01: I we've talked about it before, is sometimes I I do have a tendency to go way deeper within.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_01: And in that practice, unfortunately, you you don't I I don't have a lot of bandwidth for a lot of external people and things to deal with.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_01: And what I mean by that is whether it's in my morning hours or in the afternoon, evening hours, is when I'm when I'm going through these real heavy times and I'm going within myself to try to process this things through, I just don't have a lot of bandwidth for a lot of extra.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_01: Um I don't have a lot of extra energy to put into other individuals' issues.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_01: It's the best way I could put it.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm I'm not talking about my personal family, so I'm gonna still that out there right now.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_01: I'm talking about just externally outside of my core people.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I I I laugh now, and at the time I did not think it was uh funny because you were being pretty serious.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_01: Is um I I apologize to somebody and I said, Hey, I said, I apologize to some.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I got a lot going on right now.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_01: Uh in no way, shape, or form am I uh trying to use that as an excuse, but I apologize that I haven't been able to put some energy into you and uh you know, like I normally do.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_01: Uh that their response, Shannon, the the response that I got back was oh okay, no, I appreciate that.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_01: I I'm I'm really trying to to give you some grace.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_01: I'm really trying to give you some grace.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I'll tell you what, man, at the time I just said, Oh, okay, I appreciate that.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_01: And uh the day went forward.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I'll tell you what though, I I thought about that statement a lot when I got home in the next morning during my meditation time.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_01: I thought, I'm really trying to give you some grace, and and I guess you can take that context however you want to take it, but to be quite frank with you, uh I I kind of took that a little bit like a slap in the face, man.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: I I kind of saw that coming.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_01: I I mean I I I'm gonna I'm gonna be honest with you.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_01: There I I over the last let's just call it five years I have uh had the amazing opportunity to lead a lot of great people in in my role um and meet a lot of people and just pour into people and and that's just who I am.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_01: That's just that's who I'm as a human being.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I and uh I like it, I love it.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_01: That's just where I'm at in life.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_01: But to hear somebody that um that I've been you know dealing with for an extended period of time to tell me that they're they're really trying to give me some grace, man, I was taken back a little bit by that statement.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_01: And then during my meditative uh session the next day, I was really thinking about like I was looking at the relationship and then I was thinking to myself, like, wow, if I look back over the X amount of years that I've known this individual, I I've always kind of been the anchor.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_01: I've kind of been I've kind of been an anchor for this uh relationship.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_01: And every time they needed something, every time they were going through something every time you're saying I've been there, I've been there, I've been there, I've been there, and I and nobody, I'm gonna tell I'm gonna be honest with you, in the 53 years go coming October of 53 years almost, I I can't remember maybe uh one handful of times when another human being has told me, hey man, I'm sorry I haven't been there for you.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry I haven't been able to put some time and energy into our relationship, whatever whatever the connection is, you know what I'm saying?
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_01: I I was just like I honestly I didn't know what to think at the time, man.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like I told you, it didn't hit me as hard.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: Until you gotta bang it around in in that brain of yours a little bit, that thought gotta spin and gather some momentum.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: And uh so if like you said, you don't like things sugarcoated, you like the real stuff, and it is kind of my job to both sides.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um you just described a couple minutes ago how you who you are as a human is you love to pour into relationships.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_00: You know, that's just that's what you do, that's what you love, is pouring yourself into relationships.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: And then you go on to describe how you were you've really been to this this individual's anchor, you know, you've been there for them every time.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_00: So if I'm just popping into this other individual's experience of Michael, you know, and just wow, here's here's Michael.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_00: He wow, he's he's my anchor.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_00: He really pours what in, you know, he's he, you know, just that direction of of energy, effort, attention.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_00: We we can get deeper into all that at some other time.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_00: But and then suddenly, one day, let's now um the other Michael.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_00: Uh that's not that's I didn't mean to say that, but a very different Michael is suddenly in the room.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_00: The one who describes, yeah, when I'm going through my own inner stuff, I don't have hardly any bandwidth for anybody else outside my inner circle.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I don't I don't have the bandwidth.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to be bothered because I I'm dealing with so much inside, right?
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_00: And now those are two very contrasting.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_00: Experiences of Michael.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_00: Someone who's very used to you most all the time, really pouring into it, really anchoring, really always showing up, you know, and then suddenly I don't have the bandwidth for you right now, man.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, and then uh so yeah, their response, you know.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, and then I don't have any more context either than all our listeners right now, you know.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm just like, huh, that would be quite a contrast to suddenly kind of get told to, you know, go away.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and that's not what I would tell somebody, by the way.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_01: I would never tell somebody to go away.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_01: I there's a lot of times I would love to say it, but I don't.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_01: I I I try with intent to um nurture whatever the relationship is, whether it's a boss employee or a mentor in me or an owner of me, friendship in me, intimate relationship in me.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_01: So each one I I take on its own.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_01: Because I I don't believe that there's I'm not even gonna go down that road.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_01: Of course, yeah.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_01: I just choose to treat each individual relationship in the context that it is between me and the other person.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_01: I handle it.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_01: That's all you can do, yeah.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_01: That's all I can do, right?
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_01: But when I'm dealing with uh a lot of heavy things, and then you know, on top of all of the stuff that's been going on here today's the the today, I'll just say today's the 15th.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_01: And two days will be the one-year anniversary of my mom passing, so there's just been a lot going on.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_01: I haven't felt really well.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_01: I got some things going on in that world, and like we've talked about, man, my safe was full, my backpack's jammed pack, and I'm just carrying what feels like the world on my shoulders.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_01: And to you know, just to hear somebody tell me that you know I'm I'm attempting to, you know, I'm trying to, you know, give you some grace, but whatever.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_01: I can't remember the whole context now.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_01: I think I think the the positive out of that was it really allowed me to sit with that and really evaluate like maybe I need to look at the way I view relationships.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_01: So that next morning when I was in that meditative session, like I really started thinking about man, maybe maybe I really need to do a little more self-analyzing in how I am in my own personal relationships.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, I was taken back by the the same.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_01: It didn't change anything.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_01: I would still be there any day of the week for this individual, but uh it really really has me evaluating how much energy and how much time I put into certain relationships.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_01: It's just making me it's giving me a little bit more clarity, if you will, yeah, in that world.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, good man, good work.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_00: This that because that's what an interesting world, our inner experience of how we relate with others, whoever that may be.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_00: And uh as this is one of the hardest things, even though we are somewhat aware of it, but it's still oof, tough to comprehend or apply, you know.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like if something's triggering us, ooh, maybe that's a little more about us, you know, maybe that's something to look at.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_00: Why, ooh, why did that suddenly get me?
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_00: So why am I still spinning this, thinking about this, what getting even emotional about this?
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_00: Whoa, you know, is it as much about that other person?
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_00: Or man, what that's the hard work is to instead of wanting to uh bounce the other person or blame the other person or whatever, to like, man, you know, like because can you imagine if your response was, oh, thank goodness, oh little grace, oh I've been needing a little grace.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much, man.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_00: Cool, okay.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_00: That I don't have to really show up for you.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_00: You you actually can show up for me a little today.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_00: Oh man, good.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_00: Someone else who has grace for others.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's not just all on me to be so graceful for everyone else and help help everybody else or show up for everybody else.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_00: Someone who's oh good, willing to bend a little bit for me, have have some extra space, time, grace for me, you know?
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like ha that would be a different experience.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think it would be a very different experience.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_01: Uh and like I said, I you know, I try to I really try to, you know, look at things for what they are.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_01: I I do.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_01: I I've it's taken a long time to do that.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not good at it.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_01: I'm still working on it, but I really try to look at things from both both sides, right?
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_01: Because I know uh, you know, just you know, being in uh you know session with you for over a decade now, like I've learned a lot.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I've learned a lot about just you know, relationships and people and how it affects me and the things I think about and how we think about it.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_01: So without all of that, I I think that would have been a completely different scenario.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I I probably my response would have been very drastically different and very negative.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_01: But that's not that's not who I'm anymore.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, like I said, I I I just went on with the day, I didn't let it really get to me until I sort of really started thinking about it at the end of the day, and then into the next meditative session in the morning.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_01: But you know, uh like all things, man, if you if you can really look for that light in the dark and look at look at the light in the storm, man, like there's so much power you can find in something that seemed so harsh in the moment, but when you look back at it, you're just like, hey, Roger, that that's just how they were feeling.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_01: I I respect that.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_01: That's just that's just where they are, and uh it's neither here nor there for me.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_00: But you just unloaded it, man.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_00: You just it just got rid of the charge for you.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_00: Just like, oh, okay.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, there it is.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_00: Acceptance in a very powerful way.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_01: Nice, yeah.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_01: The crazy part is now I get to choose because I am a human being and I have the power of choice, and I can choose how I continue down the road.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_01: What does my journey look with that individual?
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_01: I can change it.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_01: I I can maybe maybe I pull back a little bit so we even that scale out, or maybe I just continue to pour in like I've always poured in.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_00: Or just meter, you know, it's you know, you can adjust it.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_00: There's fine tuning.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's very fluid, right?
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I love your statement.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm a human being, I get to choose.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_00: We forget that too often.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we do.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like what?
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_00: We have the power of choice, like, ooh, that's a good one.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_00: That helps.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_01: It helps a lot, man.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, it's been a it's been a good, it's been a good, yeah, good episode, man.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_01: I appreciate you, Shannon.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_01: I appreciate our listeners out there.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um, just uh I just want to throw this out there for our listeners out there because I really appreciate everybody.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um cumulatively, since Shannon and I started this journey on our unloaded podcast, we've now exceeded 500 downloads.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, cool.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_01: That was very exciting.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_01: I got that this weekend.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_01: I needed that just uh, you know, it was it was good to open the email and see.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_01: Congratulations, you guys have exceeded 500 downloads.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, people are listening to us.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_01: People are listening.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_01: So I that means a lot to me personally.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_01: So I just wanted to say thank you to all of our listeners before we close out today, man.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, like always, 988's out there.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_01: If you uh need some help, call, text that number.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_01: Reach someone out in your local area if you can.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um if you need some help or someone to talk to, you know, book that one hour appointment.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_01: But as for this episode, uh, this is Michael Seyorn.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_01: And Shannon Morrow.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_01: And we'll catch you on the next one.