Latest / The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook / Second Act Success: How Shannon Russell Reinvented Her Career and Reclaimed Her Purpose

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Second Act Success: How Shannon Russell Reinvented Her Career and Reclaimed Her Purpose · The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook

0:00
I agree. And I think and I, I remember
0:03
and I kind of glossed over that year plus in between before I
0:06
launched my business where I took a nine to five job, I was
0:09
going working at night for my master's degree.
0:12
I was trying different things that weren't feeling right and
0:15
that's what led me in the entrepreneurship direction.
0:18
But I, I truly believe it's because I sat in silence with
0:22
myself morning that awful nine to five job.
0:25
I would sit for my hour lunch, I would listen to podcasts, I
0:28
would almost talk to myself and say, OK, am I happy?
0:31
Does this feel right? And we don't do that enough,
0:34
Melissa. We just don't, especially as
0:36
women were we're handling everything.
0:38
We're go, go, go. But when you stop and check in
0:41
with yourself, that's where the epiphanies come.
0:46
And that's where you start to say, Oh yeah, this doesn't feel
0:48
right. Let me lean into that or maybe I
0:50
should try this. And I think that's so important
0:54
to remind ourselves that we need to check in.
0:56
You can't just go, go, go all the time because you won't, you
1:01
might miss opportunities there that are out there.
1:04
And, and so that really helped me.
1:05
I think taking that introspective look in that time.
1:09
And I've done that now more often over the past, you know,
1:13
8-9 years of just, OK, so how does this feel?
1:16
What's the next step? You know, how am I doing?
1:19
Because just, I think that that easy check in that we can all
1:22
do, even if we put it on our calendar once a week, it's
1:24
important because people don't often ask us how we're doing.
1:28
Yeah, in a really meaningful way.
1:30
Hello and welcome to the Field Podcast.
1:32
Today I've got a new friend here with me and she is from our good
1:37
friends at Podmatch. I just so appreciate I can't
1:40
even. I've lost count of the
1:41
incredible connections I've been made, been able to make through
1:45
this partnership. And Shannon Russell is another
1:47
one of those special women that I get to share with you today.
1:51
She describes herself as positive, ambitious and
1:56
adventurous. Shannon Russell, Welcome to the
1:58
Field podcast. Thank you, Melissa.
2:01
I'm so happy to be here with you.
2:03
I'm so happy to have you here. So let's get right into it.
2:06
We're going to start with talk to me about prioritizing
2:10
self-care in your life and what your journey has been or in that
2:15
realm of the world. Yeah, I mean, that is an ongoing
2:19
kind of struggle, or I would say, or ongoing exercise of
2:24
trying to figure out how to fit that in.
2:27
I'm a mom of two boys and they are 10 and 13 now.
2:31
So I have a little bit more time where I can step away.
2:34
I don't have to be right there all the time, but yeah, I tried
2:39
to just really know when to close the laptop, close the
2:43
laptop, walk away, say OK, work day is done, kids are home,
2:47
let's go be a mom now and really put everything into that.
2:52
So I think that's important in self-care is just knowing when
2:55
to close work off and turn on everything else.
2:58
And then reading, reading is my reading and writing are really
3:02
my ways of just taking time for myself.
3:05
Yeah, yeah. And just walking the dog and
3:08
trying to do Pilates and just, you know, move the body as well.
3:12
But I think as long as you kind of focus on a couple of things
3:15
that you enjoy, you're just better at life, right?
3:18
You're better at all the aspects of what you need to do.
3:21
Yeah, you identify and we'll talk about this at the end, but
3:24
you identify those activities that nourish you.
3:26
You make sure there's a room for them.
3:28
But you also, I think you keep it simple.
3:31
It doesn't have to be these big elaborate things.
3:33
It just needs to be those things that fill you up and you're
3:36
intentional about getting them in.
3:37
You mentioned the making sure you shut the laptop kids are out
3:41
of school because you're also at an age with those kids where
3:44
there's a lot happening after school a lot of times, right?
3:47
You know, they're busier now. Yes, they can dress and feed
3:49
themselves, but they're a lot more engaged in the world now
3:53
too. So which goes nicely and just
3:55
competently setting boundaries. You've set that healthy boundary
3:59
for yourself. But like, all right, it's time
4:01
to switch gears. But you've also got those
4:03
activities within there, the moving the body, the, you know,
4:07
with the Pilates or The Walking or the getting outside, the
4:10
reading, the book. You've identified spaces and
4:12
places that you can, you can fill that time with nourishing
4:17
activities as well. So that you can't, like you
4:19
said, you can show up in all these places energized, focused,
4:23
present, not distracted and feeling tired and overdrawn.
4:28
So I love that you've made that clear line.
4:30
When did you realize that was important for you?
4:34
I think it was probably just in the last maybe four or five
4:37
years. So it wasn't like an always, but
4:39
I think I just started seeing that my as a business owner, it
4:44
was taking up 24/7 of my life and my days and that I was
4:48
finding myself scrolling on my phone while on the couch
4:51
watching a movie like so many of us.
4:54
And I said, you know what the whole point of being in charge
4:58
is that you're in charge of your schedule.
4:59
So I started just, OK, well, maybe I'm sitting reading a book
5:03
next to the kids if they are playing video games, but at
5:06
least we're together and we're on the couch.
5:08
So just making those little shifts of being more present and
5:12
saying This is why I got out of corporate.
5:15
This is why I want to run my own business so I can control when
5:19
my day starts and stops. And so yeah, it's, I wish I
5:23
could say it's been like this for 20 years, but now just the
5:26
past few. Yeah, you bring up a good point
5:29
because I think, and I ran, I've run into this too.
5:32
It's hard to break those corporate habits even when you
5:35
start doing your own thing. My husband has said to me so
5:39
many times, you're in charge, you get to decide, you can shift
5:44
that deadline. You get to set the parameters of
5:47
what you know, the expectations are that you're not, you know,
5:50
so you don't have to subscribe to this script that you have
5:55
been living by when you were working for someone else out in
5:58
the corporate world. And it's such, but it's such a
6:00
hard habit to break because we've got these kind of
6:03
predetermined expectations that have kind of been drilled into
6:06
us over time. And so feeling like being able
6:10
to release myself of like, you know what, I did work on
6:14
Saturday and it is 2:00 on Monday and I am done with
6:18
everything that needs to be tended to today.
6:21
So it's OK. I don't have to just stay here
6:23
till 5 to continue to do something to satisfy something
6:27
that I don't need to live by anymore.
6:29
So I think that can be a really like a shift to was has that was
6:32
that was it that way for you to it was.
6:36
Yes. And to also say like, you know
6:38
what, I can block my calendar and not take client calls on
6:41
days where I am running around with the kids for extra
6:44
activities. So, yeah.
6:46
And and also just knowing that there's going to be busier
6:49
times, you know, because obviously as business owners, I
6:52
think, you know, we know that we need to work to make money.
6:55
And so there's going to be times where maybe we're in a bigger
6:58
project or a launch. And so you can balance that with
7:02
times that aren't as busy. But don't you think, Melissa,
7:05
that it's hard as someone who might be a creative or owning
7:09
their own business, that you enjoy what you do and so it
7:12
doesn't feel like work and so you could do it all day, right?
7:15
That's the hard part. Absolutely.
7:18
I'm so glad you said that because that is 100% and that's
7:21
kind of what I lived by for a while.
7:23
I was like, well, I'd love this. It doesn't feel like work until
7:26
until it got to a point where it stopped feeling that way.
7:30
And that was my clue of like, wait a minute, I'm not as
7:34
excite. I need to take a step back.
7:37
I even the things that I love, I still need to feel my cup so I
7:43
can continue to have the creative flow, so I can continue
7:47
to to make this and build this thing into what I know it can be
7:52
from an authentic place, not a tired, worn out place.
7:56
Because too much of a good thing is still too much.
8:00
And yeah, I'm so glad you brought that up.
8:03
I'm so glad you brought that up. Yeah, I agree.
8:07
Yeah, so I agree. And so those boundaries come
8:09
into place there too. Mm hmm.
8:12
Oh, absolutely. And it's like what you said too,
8:15
is that, you know, you can be really enjoying it, but the
8:17
sign, the first sign of, oh, this feels like work now is when
8:22
you do need to step away. And even on those days, and we
8:26
all have bad days, on those days where something isn't going
8:28
right or you're having, you know, some struggle or or
8:32
friction at your work to just say it's not going to get solved
8:36
in the next 5 minutes. So let me shut it down and
8:39
switch your mind to something else.
8:41
And that's where reading or writing has really helped me
8:44
because it's just you get out of your own head and into something
8:47
else. And that is then you can come
8:50
back to your work maybe 1/2 hour hour later or the next day, but
8:54
you feel refreshed. It's kind of like that problem
8:57
isn't as big when you do get that space.
9:01
Yes, giving that space, allowing your mind to clear, allowing
9:04
things to settle, kind of processing any emotions that
9:08
it's bringing up and being able to come back to a clear minded
9:12
because if they're I mean it's just and that's.
9:14
So I think it's just that remembering piece because I, I
9:17
we talk to people about this all the time of like of not wanting
9:22
to get to a point where everything feels like and
9:25
there's always going to be parts of it.
9:26
I mean, listen, when you have your own space business and
9:28
things you're doing, there's those administrative pieces that
9:31
aren't part of the creative process that you love that you
9:33
need to do to maintain that. But even managing those in a way
9:38
that allow you to, you know, you know, to, to, to pen, spend more
9:43
time on the things you love, whatever that might look like.
9:45
Like, is there somebody on your team that can take that on?
9:48
Is it really as important as you're making it feel?
9:51
You don't have to answer every e-mail at that very moment,
9:55
every day. I've had to learn to give myself
9:57
a break for that. Like Mondays and Fridays are my
10:00
days to answer these emails and address these questions.
10:03
Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, those are my, my creative days
10:07
things, you know, those are not the days.
10:09
And so that's really helped do it.
10:10
No one's, no one's head is blown up because, you know, unless
10:14
there's a timeline attached, but no one's head's blown up if that
10:18
e-mail that came on in on Tuesday got answered on Friday
10:21
morning. Nope, not at all.
10:23
You're absolutely right. That is a good boundary.
10:26
That's a great boundary to set, yeah.
10:28
So just finding those things that fit for you.
10:30
So it continues to feel like the thing that you love and want to
10:33
be engaged in. Yeah.
10:35
Yeah. So, so good.
10:37
So talk to me about that connection between your
10:40
emotional, emotional, mental, physical, spiritual help You
10:45
made a shift a few years. Ago.
10:47
And so talk to me about what led to that decision and also these
10:51
connections that you see in these different spaces of our
10:55
health that need to be tended to.
10:58
Well, yeah, I left my career of 16 years in television to launch
11:04
into entrepreneurship, and I opened my first business and
11:07
there was a lot to learn. All in everything you just
11:11
mentioned, right? Just saying, wow, instead of
11:13
having a commute into Manhattan and commuting back and all that
11:17
stress in the long hours, I'm working from home, building a
11:21
business, which is a different level of stress.
11:24
But I wasn't getting the, the physical exercise that I was of
11:27
walking all those city avenues and blocks.
11:30
And so it was like shifting that, shifting the The Who am I
11:34
with your identity stress, not having the socialization that
11:38
you had. So there was a lot to to figure
11:41
out and it took time to really get into the zone and then and
11:46
building that business. And I think it took a good year
11:49
plus for me to say, oh, this business is actually doing well
11:53
and it's, you know, growing and I'm seeing success and I'm
11:56
putting money into my bank account.
11:58
And that's when I started really excelling and feeling in the
12:02
zone because I felt like I was still working just as much.
12:05
But the stress level was so different because I was
12:08
controlling the clock. I was home near the kids.
12:13
There was just a different level and there was a really great
12:16
level of pride knowing that I was able to go from here to
12:20
there and find that peace and flexibility and freedom and
12:26
quote UN quote success that I wasn't sure while I was going
12:29
through the motions that was going to come to play.
12:33
But it did. And that made me launch into
12:35
another business with my coaching.
12:36
And I think even now I sold my first business last year in 2024
12:43
successfully. So someone else is running that
12:45
now, which is wonderful. And now I'm just in my business,
12:49
coaching business, and it feels so nice.
12:53
It feels like where I'm supposed to be helping the people that
12:56
I'm supposed to be helping. And yes, there's a little bit
12:59
more pressure because it's like, OK, I've got to keep this going
13:02
and I've got to get those new clients and do all that.
13:05
But it's on my watch. And if I feel like I'm living in
13:08
my own skin now because everything is coming into place,
13:13
you know, like we were talking about, like the, you know, the
13:16
emotional, the mental, the physical, it's all just feeling
13:20
right. And things felt very stressful
13:24
and out of control, you know, you know, maybe nine years ago.
13:28
So I think it's, yeah, it's funny to see, to be able to look
13:32
at it now and be like, wow, I'm a very different person.
13:35
And it feels feels better. Yeah.
13:38
I think that ability to trust and also honoring the fact that
13:42
there's going to be an in between, like you sensed a need
13:45
to make that shift and you made that shift within the shift.
13:49
And I think sometimes we we will panic because in the shift, all
13:52
of a sudden things are still feeling out of sorts.
13:55
It's just, it's a different kind of stress.
13:56
Like you said, it's a different kind of pressure that we put on
14:00
ourselves to build, but also know that we need to be here.
14:02
And so sometimes we kind of get panicky.
14:04
It's like give it time, let it you know it, give it time to
14:08
settle in, give it time your time yourself, time to
14:11
recalibrate. As you mentioned, there's so
14:15
many things you don't take into consideration.
14:17
I mean, New York City blocks are long blocks, man.
14:19
You can get some steps in and not even know it.
14:22
Like it's not even part of your intentional workout that day.
14:25
It's just part of you got to get to the train station, get off
14:28
the train, walk to my building, get up to, I mean, there's a lot
14:31
of you're hustling, you're hustling and you're like, you've
14:34
gotten 5 to 10,000 steps in without even blinking an eye.
14:38
And so all of a sudden when you don't, when you go from your
14:41
bedroom to your living room to your office, you're like, that
14:43
was like 100 steps. OK, yes, you were kind of
14:49
refiguring because that was something that was that movement
14:52
was already built into your day. So even like trying to figure
14:55
that part out, those things that we don't think about, but being
14:58
patient, trusting yourself, trusting the process.
15:02
Look at where you are nine years later and your ability to hear
15:05
that. I think it's so important for
15:07
women to hear that because it is unique for us and we're seeing
15:11
more shared responsibilities with partners than we used to.
15:15
It's not as wild to hear about one partner, you know, staying
15:20
home. If you're married to a man or a
15:21
partner with a man, they might actually be the one working from
15:24
home or maybe both you are. That is much more common these
15:27
days than it was 10/15/20 plus years ago.
15:31
However, at the end of the day, I feel like it's still a a lot
15:35
of the times and you know, we're the ones, you know, if you've
15:39
given birth to children, there's, there's that
15:41
connection. There's, there's just something
15:43
about being a mom that you, I've been, I've raised three
15:46
daughters and they're grown now, but they're that you're torn.
15:49
I've done the whole working, taking time off working again
15:52
thing. And there's that pool of wanting
15:55
to like satisfy these different portions of your life.
15:59
So when you so, but trusting that intuition, trusting that
16:03
process and giving yourself the time and patience, and now
16:06
you're able to, you feel that you honor that you're listening
16:09
to that. But you gave it the time.
16:11
You didn't panic, you didn't get in a hurry.
16:14
And I think that's a really important part to to talk about.
16:20
Well, and I agree and I think and I, I remember and I kind of
16:24
glossed over that year plus in between before I launched my
16:27
business where I took a nine to five job, I was going working at
16:31
night for my master's degree. I was trying different things
16:34
that weren't feeling right and that's what led me in the
16:37
entrepreneurship direction. But I I truly believe it's
16:41
because I sat in silence with myself, knowing that awful 9 of
16:45
five job. I would sit for my hour lunch, I
16:47
would listen to podcasts. I would almost talk to myself
16:50
and say, okay, am I happy? Does this feel right?
16:53
And we don't do that enough, Melissa.
16:55
We just don't, especially as women were were handling
16:58
everything. We're go go, go.
17:00
But when you stop and check in with yourself, that's where the
17:05
epiphanies come. And that's where you start to
17:07
say, Oh yeah, this doesn't feel right.
17:09
Let me lean into that or maybe I should try this.
17:12
And I think that's so important to remind ourselves that we need
17:17
to check in. You can't just go, go, go all
17:18
the time because you won't, you might miss opportunities there
17:23
that are out there. And, and so that really helped
17:26
me. I think taking that
17:28
introspective look in that time. And I've done that now more
17:32
often over the past, you know, 8-9 years of just, OK, so how
17:36
does this feel? What's the next step?
17:38
You know, how am I doing? Because just I think that that
17:41
easy check in that we can all do, even if you put it on our
17:44
calendar once a week. It's important because people
17:47
don't often ask us how we're doing in a really meaningful.
17:50
Way right, Like they might ask, but they're not actually
17:53
expecting or wanting the actual answer to that question.
17:58
And I, I, I, I, we had a discussion on with the podcast
18:01
guest a while back where the challenge for that episode, the
18:05
way to engage was don't ask the question unless you're really
18:08
intentional and want the answer. And when someone asks you, be
18:13
intentional about answering honestly.
18:15
And if you're not sure they want the honest answer, like do you
18:17
really want to know how I'm feeling?
18:19
Or do you want to just hear that I'm OK and be clear about that.
18:23
And so we can open the doors to really speak truth to how we
18:26
feel. I think that's so important.
18:29
And, and this goes nicely into, through this process of honoring
18:32
yourself, you're now in a position where you're really
18:36
able to show up unapologetically supporting yourself, but you're
18:39
also now supporting other women in that process.
18:43
You've been able to take these things that you've learned and
18:46
utilize them. Talk to me about first, the
18:50
decision to do that and when in deciding to make that
18:53
transition. And second, I think so many
18:57
times as women, and you touched on this already, we, we get into
19:00
a rut of like, well, I've got to save this job.
19:02
It pays, it provides insurance, It's just what it is.
19:05
I'm just going to gut it out until the kids leave for college
19:08
and then I'll figure something out.
19:09
And it's that gutting it out that takes the toll.
19:13
And it's that, it's also that fear, like we get comfortable
19:16
and we're and, and the fear of trying something different and
19:20
whether it's going to work or not.
19:21
And the gamble the within that, which requires a lot of
19:23
communication in your family with your partner.
19:26
Me doing what I'm doing right now has required a lot of
19:28
communication with my husband when I made that transition from
19:32
that steady income to this passion project, which now I am
19:36
also having business pieces added to it.
19:40
And but that's a constant communication.
19:42
So it's not something you just spring into, but you're not able
19:45
to guide women through that too. So A, talk to me about that
19:49
decision to do that. B How you help women get over
19:52
the hump of that fear that they just need to stay in the
19:55
comfort, even though it's they're not enjoying it and
19:58
they're not thriving. Well, in my experience of
20:01
figuring it out and then launching into my first
20:04
business, which was a franchise, I, I, you know, had that fear
20:08
and I was scared and I was learning and I think I had to
20:11
learn that it wasn't going to happen overnight.
20:13
The success that I was thinking would happen.
20:16
But then when I did feel like, wow, this is actually going well
20:19
and I've hired A-Team and we're making these partnerships and
20:22
money's coming in. I said, oh, this is exciting.
20:25
I'm proud of myself and I want to do it again.
20:28
And right around that time, I had a lot of customers who would
20:32
ask me like, oh, how long have you been doing this?
20:35
And were you a teacher before? Because I, my first business was
20:38
teaching STEM education to kids. And I'd say, actually, I'm a
20:41
television producer before this. And it would spark these
20:44
conversations and they'd say, oh, my goodness, I don't want to
20:47
commute from Manhattan. And can you help me figure out
20:51
what else I can do? I want to launch a business.
20:53
And so I saw that there was a need when this conversation was
20:56
happening over and over again, I said, you know what?
20:59
I'm going to start a coaching business and I'm going to help
21:02
people. Because when I was going through
21:04
it, I truly was alone. My husband is a television
21:07
producer, all my friends. So when I decided to leave, it
21:10
was like, what is wrong with you?
21:12
Why are you doing this? And so I felt like I was
21:15
struggling. I was just, there was just a lot
21:17
going on that I was doing solo and I wanted to be that hand
21:21
that could hold someone from that thought to actually taking
21:25
action. And so that's where it started.
21:29
And I ran both businesses together for many years before
21:32
selling the first. But I saw, and it happened
21:35
organically. I got a lot of clients that were
21:37
local that knew I had this other successful business.
21:41
So I had these clients and then, you know, my clients grew.
21:44
But it was nice to see, okay, well, what do you want to do?
21:47
What's holding you back? And you nailed it.
21:49
Because the number one thing is, well, actually one thing I
21:52
always hear is, well, doesn't everyone hate their job?
21:56
Wow. Yeah, and whenever I mentioned
21:59
that to people, they're always like their jaw drops because
22:01
that's so sad, right? Like you don't want to be the
22:06
one that's lumped into the people who don't like their job.
22:09
And yes, there's plenty of people who don't.
22:11
But what can you do to make it better?
22:14
Or can you shift or can you move to a different department or
22:17
work different hours? Like there's always a way to
22:19
make it just a little bit better for you and your well-being.
22:24
But then it's also the whole, well, you know what, I just, I
22:26
really, I want to do this and I, I really think I could, but I'm
22:30
going to stay and wait for the kids to be out of the house or
22:32
retirement or this perfect time. And so I started using those
22:38
excuses in my, my strategies and what I teach and saying, OK, I
22:43
understand, I've been there. Let's make it a really
22:46
methodical road map, really methodical, strategic way that
22:50
you can get from here to there where you're not causing that
22:53
chaos in your family. Now, what do you think?
22:55
And then they say, well, OK, because I think it's that fear
22:59
as a woman, as a mom, that we're going to like leave everyone in
23:02
a lurch and we're not going to be able to, right?
23:05
And it's, well, you can figure out the ways to do that and look
23:10
at your finances. Maybe you have to work for six
23:12
more months. Maybe you started on the side.
23:14
And that's been really fun to meet women where they are and
23:19
make that plan and work with them and hold their hand.
23:22
Because a lot of times there's partners who aren't very
23:26
supportive or friends and family or just being afraid of what
23:30
other people even on social media will think if you say, oh,
23:33
I'm starting a jewelry business or I'm doing this, you know, so
23:37
it's that mindset work too. So just being, being able to be
23:40
that person that they can come to and I can say, no, it's not
23:43
crazy and you can do that and let's figure out how to get you
23:47
there has been really rewarding. I, I should say I really have
23:52
enjoyed and and do enjoy just getting to be a part of
23:55
someone's story, their second act story.
23:58
Yes, I love that. Yeah, which we'll get to that.
24:00
The second act has. There's meaning to that there.
24:03
We'll talk about that before we wrap up today, but I think too,
24:07
you've laid out really well. Things really organically came
24:11
to be for you. You weren't chasing something or
24:15
forcing something. And I think that's really
24:18
important too. I and this keeps coming up.
24:20
My friend Rachel Lavin pointed this out on a panel we were on
24:24
together a few weeks ago and she's like, stop chasing.
24:28
I'm like, you know what, that's great for our listeners to hear.
24:30
I needed to hear that today. I needed to.
24:33
And so even in having these conversations with women as I as
24:38
I build what I'm doing here, I think we all at the times need
24:42
to to be reminded to stop chasing and allow things to
24:48
unfold organically. And they will if as long as you
24:52
just keep taking the steps forward, honoring yourself,
24:55
honoring this thing that you're building in a way that you're
24:59
trusting that tuition and you were able to do that.
25:02
And I think that's such an important piece and we're able
25:04
to make get palpable for people. And especially if they're
25:07
getting pushed back, you're going home or like, I'm not
25:11
blowing up the whole thing here. You know, this is, there's a
25:14
plan. And just if you can trust me in
25:16
this plan, then I, I think that we can make this work in a way
25:20
that's going to be good for all of us.
25:22
Because I think too, what doesn't come into consideration
25:25
is if we're if we're staying in spaces and places that are
25:30
draining our energy, we are not able to show up well for anybody
25:34
in our lives. We're irritable, we're tired,
25:36
we're worn out, we're not present.
25:39
The Sunday scary's can be the Sunday through Thursday scary's.
25:44
I mean, honestly. And then that impacts how you
25:47
were able to show up for your family and your partner and your
25:51
neighbors and your community spaces as well.
25:54
So I mean, when you can bring that piece of the conversation
25:57
of like, I don't want to just impact my day-to-day where I'm
26:00
showing up. I want to impact how I'm showing
26:03
up authentic to me. And for you all.
26:07
I mean, how do you want to Remember Me?
26:08
Do you want to Remember Me is just tired and mourn and ragged?
26:12
Or do you want to Remember Me making choices that I know are
26:15
not only going to be healthy for me, but healthy for all of us.
26:18
And I think that's such a great thing for our kids to see.
26:22
It's good for us to see us take risks and bet on ourselves
26:26
because that sends them the message that they can do that
26:29
too. And you never want your kid to
26:31
feel like you stayed in something miserable to support
26:36
them or what you know. I think it's just very and and
26:40
kids pick up on what they see. You can say all you want to say
26:44
till the cows come home, but they pick up on what they see
26:47
and what they feel and experience from you too.
26:49
So I think that's a huge part of it.
26:52
Melissa, you just made something that just happened a couple days
26:55
ago pop into my head that my dad had called and he said, oh, I
26:59
listened to your podcast this week.
27:00
And I guess I said something on the podcast about you want to
27:03
work in a career where you would do it for no money.
27:07
And my 13 year old said to me, well, mom, you like what you're
27:10
doing, right? Even if you didn't get paid.
27:12
And I said, yes, he's like, you don't miss the other business or
27:15
you don't miss anything. I'm like, no.
27:17
And he's like, OK, good, because I want you to be happy.
27:19
And that's so funny because it was special in the time, but I
27:22
actually kind of forgot that he said that until just now.
27:24
And that is, that is a perfect example of what you said up
27:27
there watching. And I want them to also be able
27:30
to say you don't have to choose something at 20 and stay with it
27:34
forever. You can do multiple things and
27:37
have multiple adventures because you get this one life.
27:39
So why not? Yeah.
27:41
So I think that's a good lesson for our kids as well.
27:44
Yeah, absolutely. So good.
27:45
And that goes nicely into coming back to our why and our values
27:49
and everything we do. You've done that.
27:52
Talk to me, think about that realization and how this has
27:54
impacted the choices you've made.
27:57
Well, the why, I think, is everything, Everything.
28:00
Once you can nail that down. And that was something that I
28:04
had been figuring out. I had my first son.
28:07
We were in Los Angeles, And then three years later, we had moved
28:11
to the East Coast. And I was pregnant with my
28:13
second son. And I had known those three
28:16
years that, you know, I don't think I can do TB much longer.
28:19
It's just too many long hours. And it was.
28:22
Yeah, and the wheels were turning.
28:24
But when I was 8 months pregnant, the specific moment I
28:27
was running through the Times Square subway station and heels
28:29
trying to get the bus to go to daycare and I had this moment of
28:34
this is not worth it. And my why is the kids.
28:38
I wanted to be that present mom who could pick up from the bus
28:41
stop and be there as a class parent and do all those things.
28:45
And it was in that moment where the celebrity of it all, the
28:49
excitement of this dream career of mine.
28:51
I could check the box, I could celebrate it and say now what is
28:55
the next adventure? And that became my why, right?
28:58
Like I wanted to be present with them and build a career around
29:03
on that. And I think that is something I
29:05
will never, ever regret. And I was able to do it.
29:08
It wasn't simple. Again, you know, it's sort of
29:11
things, you know, figuring out conversations, all, all the
29:14
things. But that was the why.
29:17
And I, I say to my clients too, is like, if you're focused on
29:20
the why, everything will fall into place, you know, because
29:22
you'll get those, those moments out.
29:25
Well, should I do this? Should I go back to that?
29:27
What's comfortable? But you go back to that why and
29:30
you just keep, keep going. And I think that's, that's such
29:33
a huge lesson and very valuable for, for people to be able to
29:38
figure out what their why is. Yeah.
29:39
And then just keep going, moving towards that.
29:42
Yeah, yeah, so good. And that leads nicely into
29:45
living out of our own expectations versus others
29:48
expectations and making sure that why is your why those
29:52
values are your values. Those expectations are your
29:55
expectations. I mean, coming from the world of
29:59
television, there's a lot of glamour and celebrity and statue
30:03
and all those things that come with that.
30:05
And so you talked about earlier how people were just like, she's
30:08
doing what? And so being able to release
30:10
that, I'm like, I had my I had my day in the sun.
30:13
Yeah, maybe someday a little manifest itself in a different
30:16
way. But I'm that's not going to
30:18
honor me if I continue down that road.
30:21
And so I'm going to I'm going to shift this narrative.
30:24
But I think it's such an important piece of when we are
30:27
living out of our own expectations, our own values,
30:31
our own, why we can set our own healthy boundaries, which then
30:35
that all evolves into our self-care.
30:38
Those are all components of our self-care.
30:40
Those are all components of how we care for us.
30:44
So talk to me about what it's been like to be able to not only
30:49
live out, but when you make those shifts, you got to
30:50
communicate to people. I'm shifting out of this.
30:53
I, this is a choice I have made for myself or my family.
30:58
This is this new adventure that I'm going to go into.
31:01
Talk to me about that communication piece because
31:03
that's such an important piece too.
31:06
You're right, you're right. And I, I think I started when I
31:08
saw some reactions from family and friends when I decided to
31:12
leave television, I decided to say, OK, thank you so much and
31:16
put that off to the side. And I've, I've always been like
31:19
a self aware person. I think that's helped me a
31:21
little bit. But I just knew, you know, going
31:24
back to the why, well, I'm going to try this and it's got to
31:27
work. And if not, of course, I can
31:29
always go back. But I think it's, it's that that
31:32
helped me. I think those initial shocks and
31:35
Oz from people helped me realize, OK, well, this is might
31:39
be the reaction of other people. And so when I first posted about
31:42
this on social media, you know, building my social pages for my
31:45
business businesses, it was this is what I'm doing.
31:49
And I'm actually using all of my skills as a producer to bring in
31:54
to produce and build this new life in this business.
31:57
And I think it was just put it out there and I, I worried about
32:02
what people thought, of course, like in the back of my mind, but
32:04
I never let it show. And I'm telling you, when that
32:08
first message came in, I don't know how many years later, it
32:11
was definitely since I've launched my coaching business,
32:14
people coming out of the woodworks of like, can you help
32:16
me? Like, I'm ready to leave
32:18
entertainment. Can you help me?
32:19
And you know, I've been watching your journey and you're like,
32:22
wow, I didn't even know this person from 20 years ago had
32:25
been watching what I'm doing. But I think because I wasn't
32:29
afraid to put it out there and talk, talk about it, that they
32:34
saw that and there was something that made them go, oh, OK, if
32:37
she can do it, then I can do it. And that's what I've wanted,
32:40
especially since launching my coaching business, just to be
32:42
able to say other people can do it and you can, too.
32:46
Yeah. So, yeah, I think just
32:48
communicating that with no hesitation, like when you go out
32:52
and I don't say I'm, you know, if somebody asked me, I'm a mom,
32:56
always comes up pretty much first.
32:58
But then I'll say, oh, I'm a business coach, but I won't say
33:01
I'm a television producer. But you know what?
33:03
I still am like you're. Still a big class title, right?
33:07
They're still part of who you have become, yeah.
33:11
You get to say who you are when you're meeting someone at a
33:13
networking. Event, absolutely, yeah, yeah,
33:16
where it applies because some things will come up.
33:18
It's like we talked about with, you know earlier on when I had
33:21
you identify your character traits, the different things
33:23
show up at different times in different seasons.
33:25
And so I always get fresh answers from from people on that
33:28
because of where they might be today versus where they were
33:31
three or four months ago, six years ago, whatever it is.
33:35
Yeah, so important to remember that.
33:37
And also too, I think so many times this can be a real trick,
33:43
especially when we've been in these higher profile positions
33:47
of it's a kind of a checkpoint to make sure your identity isn't
33:51
wrapped up in that. And so sometimes that can be
33:54
hard for people to walk away from because it forces you into
33:58
and goes nicely into this next talking point of accepting the
34:01
layered aspects of ourselves, all the pieces and parts of who
34:06
we are that make up who we are as a person, not what we do, but
34:10
who we are. And in the reason that all the
34:13
roles and titles we have along the way.
34:16
And all of a sudden there can be that sense of loss.
34:19
It's like, OK, that's when I in when I work with women
34:22
one-on-one and in groups, we start with the layers.
34:25
We start here first. This is the first part of the
34:28
conversation because it's like you got to get a grasp on this
34:32
first. This will help you see your
34:34
value. This will help you see your
34:36
whole person. So then when I ask you the next
34:39
question of identifying your character traits and describing
34:42
who you are, you will have done the layers work and you'll be
34:45
able to actually describe who you are, not with your roles and
34:48
titles, but with who you are as a person.
34:50
And then that will make you see help you to see your value and
34:54
that that is your foundation. And so talk to me about the
34:57
importance of that piece of this allowing you to move forward
35:01
personally, but also helping. Others to do so as well.
35:05
Yeah, it was, I think taking that solace and knowing that I'm
35:08
still a producer. And I joke that if Oprah called
35:11
tomorrow, I'd go back to work. You know, it's knowing I think
35:16
everyone can it feels a little bit better.
35:18
Their shoulders drop when they say, Oh yeah, you're right.
35:20
I can still do accounting. I can still go back to that
35:24
retail sales job, whatever it is.
35:26
So you're it's still a part of you.
35:27
And what I love is, like you were saying, to talk about the
35:30
whole person and then take that and help that shape your, what I
35:34
call a career story to get you to where you are now.
35:38
So why are you the perfect person to create this business
35:41
or start this new thing or write this book?
35:44
Because you have done all of this.
35:45
So let's craft it. Let's figure out that thread and
35:49
come up with it. So to use myself as an example,
35:52
my business was second act and it was based on, you know, the
35:56
acts in television. So I really took that and I said
35:59
I'm going to start producing this business and now I'm going
36:03
to produce people's lives with them as they create their second
36:07
act. So it just all kind of flows
36:09
together with my career story. And anyone can do that too once
36:13
they've gone through the layers as you mentioned.
36:15
And then it's fun to kind of craft that new elevator pitch or
36:19
that new, you know, synopsis or summary of who you are in the
36:24
present tense of what you're building and what you're going
36:26
into. And it's so fun.
36:27
It's exciting to see yourself in that new way.
36:30
And I think it leads to your confidence and your excitement
36:33
as you take that next step forward.
36:36
Don't you? I love absolutely 1000% and it
36:40
allows you to tap into all, all of who you are.
36:43
And I think that's so many times we miss the pieces of all that
36:46
we have within us. It's all here.
36:48
It's just waiting for us to tap into it and trust it.
36:51
Talk to me too about how did you in that first business?
36:54
How did you choose the STEM route and how did you
36:57
communicate to people the connection and why it is they
37:01
should work with you? I I'd love you talked to me
37:03
about this when we had our meeting, but I want our
37:05
listeners to hear this. Well, it was the fact that I had
37:08
a three-year old and a newborn and the three-year old, the only
37:11
time he would sit still as if he was building with Lego or magnet
37:15
tiles or anything that he could create something with his hands
37:18
and his mind. And I really was intrigued with
37:20
that. And at the same time, when I was
37:23
grasping at straws trying to figure out what to do, I was
37:25
going working online towards a master's in education.
37:30
And, but I knew I didn't want to be a teacher.
37:32
And so I think there was something between all of that.
37:34
I said, what if I create a STEM Center for children where they
37:38
can think like engineers and start building and creating and
37:41
really dive into that? And so that was where the
37:44
inspiration came from. And then I just looked and I
37:46
found a franchise that was already doing what I wanted to
37:48
do. So it was the the next step.
37:51
And then I just said, you know what, I've produced these multi
37:54
$1,000,000 productions and budgets and hired and made
37:57
partnerships and all of that. I can do that to take this
38:01
business idea and build it and promote it in my community where
38:05
no one's heard of it. So it's kind of like taking that
38:08
idea and bringing it to the screen.
38:09
I was taking this idea and bringing it out to the
38:12
community. And that was a really fun
38:14
challenge for me, still being able to use the creative side.
38:19
Yeah, it worked really well. So it was a very weird segue to
38:23
get me there. But yeah, you never know.
38:26
As long as it goes back to keeping your eyes open and being
38:29
open to those opportunities and listening and having those
38:32
conversations with yourself to just say, yeah, you know what,
38:34
this feels right, Let's go. Let's see.
38:37
I wanted you to share that because I wanted women to be
38:40
able to have a visual of how this can work.
38:43
You're sitting there observing your own shelter and observing
38:46
this thing that one of your kiddos left and you were able to
38:49
connect the dots between the strengths in that you already
38:53
knew you had the experience. You already knew you had this
38:56
new creative space where you could bring these things
38:58
together. And but it was all very organic.
39:02
It wasn't forced. And it's so I think it's again,
39:04
back to that not chasing with being very aware and paying
39:08
attention to the things that are around you.
39:10
And because of that, it you are able to give those examples to
39:15
the people you work with today when they're looking for that
39:18
second act, that opportunity. It's just such a great example
39:21
of how you can lay it out in such a palpable way.
39:23
Thank you so much for for sharing.
39:25
Yeah. What would you not feel?
39:28
Finding empowerment, embracing layers, which is what you are
39:31
doing. Talk to me about the impact that
39:33
has had on your relationship with yourself as well as your
39:37
relationship with other people. Oh, I think I love that
39:41
question. I think it's given me such
39:44
confidence to to I guess I care what I think about what I'm
39:51
doing more than anyone else. You know, just having that
39:54
confidence within myself to say, yeah, I'm going to try this
39:59
because I'm not a person who can sit still.
40:01
I'm always going on to the next project or adventure.
40:03
And so I think it's just being really confident in the
40:07
decisions that I make. And I might not have been that
40:10
confident, you know, in my early 30s when I was running around LA
40:14
or New York, you know, it was a different kind of confidence.
40:18
But I think it's because I. Been able to build 2 businesses
40:21
and see the impact it's had whether on children or women and
40:26
in my community and online. It's it's been nice to see.
40:30
And of course I'm nowhere near done.
40:31
I'm built, just still building. But it's nice to feel that
40:36
confidence and self-awareness again that that I'm doing the
40:39
right thing, I'm in the right space.
40:41
And yeah, I think that's how it feels.
40:46
Yeah. Thank.
40:47
You so much for that. So good.
40:49
All right, as we wind down here, tell me 5 activities that
40:53
nourish you. Sitting on the couch with the
40:57
kids. But no matter what, like I just
40:59
love our time watching movies, TV, walking my dog, whether
41:05
we're at the park or just around the neighborhood.
41:07
That's just a time that I just love, whether I'm walking with
41:10
the family or by myself with my earbuds.
41:13
Definitely reading because I love just diving into someone
41:16
else's world. And I recently stopped reading
41:18
business self help empowerment books because I wanted to
41:22
escape. And I felt like every time I
41:24
read one of those books, I was getting back into the business.
41:27
So now I'm really reading thrillers and mysteries and just
41:30
diving into that world and music.
41:33
I'm a big music person, so just putting on my Spotify playlist
41:37
and listening to music that I loved in my 20s and growing up.
41:41
And then really writing. Writing.
41:43
I recently wrote a book, and through that process, I realized
41:46
how much writing became a hobby. So I think that I enjoy.
41:50
And my kids are at the age where I can say I'm gonna take 30
41:54
minutes, I'm gonna go write, and they understand what I'm doing
41:57
and just to get along with my thoughts.
41:59
And I think writing's like a puzzle, which I really like to
42:02
be able to just take these ideas and figure out where to put
42:05
them. But those are probably the five
42:07
things that give a joy. Oh, so good.
42:11
All right. And five words on how you want
42:13
to feel the next six months. 05 words I'd say empowered,
42:25
authentic, overjoyed, ambitious, and healthy.
42:37
Good, good, good. All right, Shannon, tell people
42:40
where they can find you and follow you.
42:42
This will also be on our website on embracinglayers.com, on the
42:46
resources page. But share with listeners right
42:48
now all those places and spaces they can find.
42:51
Follow with you, follow you and work with you.
42:54
Sure, you can go to secondactsuccess.co.
42:57
That's my website, and you'll have links to my new book, which
42:59
is called Start Your Second Act, my podcasts, free resources, how
43:04
to work with me, all of that good stuff.
43:05
So second Act success.co. OK, great.
43:09
And like you said, that will be on our website.
43:11
So don't worry listeners, you'll be able to access that.
43:13
Any last thoughts you'd like to leave with our listeners today?
43:17
Oh, I just. Say you know what?
43:18
Give yourself grace because as you move through the day,
43:21
whether you're making a huge change or not, give yourself
43:24
grace and know that you're worthy to live the life that you
43:28
want to live. That gives you that fulfillment
43:31
because at the end of the day, you don't want to have any
43:33
regrets. And we get this one beautiful
43:35
life to live, so live it to the fullest.
43:39
Yeah, Yeah, So good. All right.
43:41
Thanks so much for being with me today.
43:42
Shannon, I appreciate you so much, how you show up in the
43:45
world, the way you support others in these journeys that
43:48
are possible for them to live their most authentic lives in a
43:52
way that's honoring to them and their families.
43:55
I think it's just so important, like you said, we get this one
43:58
life and to to be able to live it the way we were designed to,
44:02
that feels good to us. And you've trusted yourself
44:05
through that process and you're helping others to do that now.
44:07
I think it's so important, so powerful.
44:09
So thank you so much for that and for sharing these resources
44:13
with us listeners. It's all right there.
44:16
Take what's what's that next thing for you that's going to
44:19
help you feel aligned with you. Think about that today and take
44:24
good care of yourselves. Thanks so much for being with us
44:26
today on the Field Podcast. We hope you'll join us next
44:29
time. Have a great rest of your day.
44:32
Hello and thank you so much for being with us today on this
44:36
episode of the Field podcast. If you would like more
44:39
information on how you can apply these talking points that I
44:44
share with our guests in each episode to your own life, really
44:49
utilize this feel framework, go to embracinglayers.com, fill out
44:54
our contact form, and let's set up a free 30 minute consultation
44:59
to talk about how you can start living your most authentic,
45:04
organic, healthy, feel fueled life.
45:08
Thanks again for being with us today.
45:10
We'll be back to you soon with another episode here on the Feel
45:13
Podcast.