Latest / Women at Work: Career, Leadership & Modern Work / Why Women Negotiate Salary Second and How to Fix It
Transcript
- Lucas: So there's this stat that I've been turning over in my head all week. According to a study out of Carnegie Mellon, women initiate salary negotiations about four times less often than men. But when they do negotiate, they get pretty similar results. The gap isn't about the outcome — it's about who starts the conversation. Luna: Right, it's the initiation gap. And honestly, that tracks with a lot of what we hear from listeners. They say things like, 'I waited for them to bring up salary,' or 'I didn't want to seem greedy by naming a number first.' Lucas: Exactly. And that hesitation ends up anchoring the negotiation below where it could be. Because if you let the employer name the first number — which is standard practice — you're negotiating against your own ceiling from the start. Luna: There's a specific experiment on this. Researchers asked job candidates to state their salary expectations first, versus having the employer state a range. When the candidate went first, the final offer was on average five to eight percent higher. Lucas: That's the anchor effect in action. And it's not even about being aggressive. It's about providing a credible, data-backed number that shifts the whole conversation upward. Luna: So why don't more women do it? I mean, we know the research — it's not a skill gap. It's a double bind. Women who negotiate assertively can be seen as pushy or unlikeable. Lucas: That's the classic finding from the Bowdoin College study — same script, different gender label. 'Aggressive' for a man, 'bossy' for a woman. So the social cost is real. But there are ways to anchor without triggering that penalty. Luna: One tactic I've seen work is using external market data as your anchor. Instead of saying 'I want X,' you say 'Based on market data for this role and location, the typical range is A to B, and I'm targeting B based on my experience.' Lucas: That shifts the frame from personal demand to objective benchmark. It's harder to penalise someone for citing a salary survey from a reputable source. And it invites a collaborative problem-solving conversation rather than a confrontation. Luna: Exactly. And there's a timing element too. If you can get the employer to disclose their range first — which is now legally required in some states — you can still anchor high within that range. But if they don't disclose, you have to be ready. Lucas: I think the key is preparation. Before any salary conversation, you need to know your floor, your target, and your stretch number. And you need to practise saying them out loud. It sounds simple, but most people skip the rehearsal step. Luna: And that rehearsal matters because the first number out of your mouth is the most impactful. If you hesitate, or qualify it with 'I think' or 'maybe', you weaken your anchor before it even lands. Lucas: There's a great example from a listener who works in tech. She had a job offer from a competitor, so when her current employer asked what she wanted, she said 'I'm looking at an offer for one-fifty, but I'd love to stay here for something in that ballpark.' She got one-forty-five on the spot. Luna: She used a competing offer as her anchor. That's a classic move, but it requires having that leverage. Not everyone has a competing offer. So what do you do if you're negotiating from a standing start? Lucas: Then you use market data and your own track record. You say, 'In my five years in this field, I've led projects that delivered X in savings and Y in revenue. Based on industry benchmarks, I'm targeting a base salary of ninety-five to one-oh-five.' Luna: That's the competence plus data combo. And it's also worth noting that the anchoring tactic isn't just for initial offers. It works for promotions, raises, even project budgets. Lucas: Right. And the research shows that women are more likely to negotiate when they perceive the negotiation as legitimate — meaning, when they have a clear reason and a script. So having a framework removes that hesitation. Luna: If today's conversation has been useful, you know, this is the kind of practical insight we try to bring every episode. And the way we keep this show ad-free and focused on real career help is through listener support. It's a small way to say this matters. You can find that at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. Lucas: And it genuinely makes a difference. We hear from listeners who say one tactic from an episode changed how they approached their next review. That's why we do this. So thank you to anyone who's chipped in. Luna: Alright, back to the anchor effect. One nuance I want to pull on: the research also shows that the gender gap in negotiation initiation narrows when the job is explicitly stated as 'negotiable.' So companies can help by signalling flexibility. Lucas: That's a good point. Some companies now put 'salary negotiable' in the job posting. And the data suggests that small signal increases women's likelihood of negotiating by something like thirty percent. It's a low-cost change with real impact. Luna: And for women listening, the takeaway isn't to become a different person. It's to have a plan. You can be warm, collaborative, and still anchor high. It's not either-or. Lucas: There's a good framework from the book 'Women Don't Ask' — the authors suggest using a 'we' frame. Instead of 'I need this,' say 'We want to find a package that works for both of us. Here's what I bring, and here's what market data suggests is fair.' Luna: That's smart because it takes the adversarial edge off. And it also signals that you've done your homework. You're not just throwing out a number; you're offering a reasoned position. Lucas: I want to touch on one more thing: the remote work factor. When negotiations happen over email or video, the social cost of asserting a high anchor may be lower because there's less real-time pressure. Luna: Yes, asynchronous negotiation through email can actually benefit women. A 2020 study found that women got better outcomes in email negotiations than face to face because they had time to prepare their language and didn't face the same likeability penalties. Lucas: So if you're negotiating remotely, consider using email for the initial anchor. You can write a clear, data-backed statement without the nervous filler. And then follow up with a call to discuss. Luna: That also gives the other side time to process. It's less confrontational. And it forces you to write down your anchor, which makes it more concrete for you too. Lucas: One more stat: a 2024 Indeed survey found that only thirty-eight percent of women negotiated their most recent job offer, compared to fifty-two percent of men. That's a fourteen-point gap. If we could close just half of that, the aggregate wage impact would be enormous. Luna: And it's not just the initial salary. It compounds. A lower starting salary means lower raises, lower bonuses, lower retirement contributions. Over a career, that's hundreds of thousands of dollars. Lucas: So the goal isn't to be aggressive. It's to be prepared. And the first step is simply deciding that you're going to name the first number. That small act of anchoring can shift your entire earnings trajectory. Luna: I think a lot of women feel like they need permission to negotiate. So consider this your permission. Do the research, practice the script, and say the number. The data shows it works. Lucas: And if you're a manager listening, consider how you can reduce the initiation gap on your team. Signal that salary is negotiable. Share ranges proactively. You might get better retention and more satisfied employees. Luna: That's a good note to end on. Anchoring is a skill, not a personality trait. And like any skill, it gets better with practice. Lucas: Next episode, we're going to look at how the same dynamic plays out in performance reviews — where women often get less specific feedback, which makes it harder to anchor for a raise. That should be a good one.