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264. From Mess to Mastery (rewind) · Your Enriched Self

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: If you're standing in a mess right now, it's okay.
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  Speaker 1: I said it. It's okay. Take a deep breath. You're
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: right where you need to be. I know a lot
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  Speaker 1: of times we look around, we see what's happening in
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  Speaker 1: the world, we see what's happening with our peers, and
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: we think we're not where we need to be. I
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  Speaker 1: want to remind you this week with this rewind and
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  Speaker 1: this revisit to one of my favorite topics from Mess
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  Speaker 1: to Mastery. It encourages you to embrace the mess, to
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  Speaker 1: not allow the mess to minimize your story and your
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  Speaker 1: path to mastery. I don't know if anybody remembers the
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  Speaker 1: Oprah's masterclass. I believe she still has that. I'm not
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  Speaker 1: quite sure, but I'm sure it's out there in the world.
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  Speaker 1: With the Oprah's Masterclass, I was always impressed by the
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  Speaker 1: caliber of people that were brought on her stage, her platform,
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  Speaker 1: inspirational leaders, celebrities, experts. And these people really started to
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  Speaker 1: dig into their lives. They started to reveal parts of
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  Speaker 1: themselves with insight, with candor. They started bringing forth their experiences,
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  Speaker 1: sharing their successes, discuss the things, the people, the places
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  Speaker 1: that shaped their lives, and the many, many lessons that
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  Speaker 1: they learned along the way. But not only did they
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  Speaker 1: talk about these successes, they also talked about the failures.
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  Speaker 1: They spoke on their disappointments, their heartbreaks, and many of
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  Speaker 1: the negative experiences that they had throughout the years of
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  Speaker 1: their life. Some happened in childhood, some happened in adulthood,
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  Speaker 1: and everything in between. And oftentimes when we look at
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  Speaker 1: people outside of us, explaining their life mastery and providing
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  Speaker 1: this quote unquote masterclass, we often feel small. We don't
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  Speaker 1: feel like we have a space to teach or share
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  Speaker 1: a masterclass because in fact, it feels like the masterclass
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  Speaker 1: is difficult to reach because we're comparing ourselves to these
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  Speaker 1: grand personalities, these celebrities, these people that are, again, out
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  Speaker 1: of our reach. And that makes the mastery of our
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  Speaker 1: own lives then feel out of reach. It feels like
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  Speaker 1: we're stretching just to get to it. It feels like
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  Speaker 1: it's towering over us to reach it. But what if
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  Speaker 1: I told you that your mastery doesn't begin when you
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  Speaker 1: are on the platform telling your story in front of
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  Speaker 1: Oprah and the rest of the world, but in fact,
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  Speaker 1: your mastery begins in the valleys. in the place of chaos,
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  Speaker 1: of disaster. That's where your mastery begins. And for many
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  Speaker 1: of you, you may be in a mastery season right now.
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  Speaker 1: You have encountered difficulties, challenges, issues. And may I remind you,
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  Speaker 1: I said it before on this podcast, and I'll say
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  Speaker 1: it again, don't forget to document the difficult. Document the
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  Speaker 1: season that you're in. I know I talk about journaling,
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  Speaker 1: talked about it on this podcast. Journaling plays an important role.
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  Speaker 1: When you document the difficult, you document the season, you're
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  Speaker 1: giving yourself insight. The very same insight that some of
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  Speaker 1: these celebrities are sharing, it's because they documented that difficult season.
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  Speaker 1: They documented the challenges that they faced. Because you learning
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  Speaker 1: to document those will someday be in fact a way
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  Speaker 1: for somebody to unlock a difficult season that they're going through.
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  Speaker 1: I mean, think about some of the things you've experienced.
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  Speaker 1: You've gleaned and leaned on someone else, maybe an elder,
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  Speaker 1: a parent, someone in community, maybe even a celebrity or
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  Speaker 1: somebody that you are under their tutelage as a coach.
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  Speaker 1: you are leaning on them and you're getting the same
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  Speaker 1: levels of unlock that you can now and someday even
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  Speaker 1: provide to someone else. And that's what this topic is
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  Speaker 1: all about today. I want you to understand that through
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  Speaker 1: your mess, and some of you look at your life
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  Speaker 1: as a mess. Your life isn't a mess. There are
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  Speaker 1: messy moments in your life, but those messy moments, that's
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  Speaker 1: the chaotic space that where your character is built. That
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  Speaker 1: is a space where you, in fact, get to learn
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  Speaker 1: how to become master of your mess. Here's the thing.
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  Speaker 1: Experience brings forth learning. My mother would always say to
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  Speaker 1: us as children, experience is your best teacher. I totally agree.
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  Speaker 1: But the more you learn, the more you go through
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  Speaker 1: that experience of life, the more suffering you're prone to.
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  Speaker 1: You're gonna have falls, you're gonna have slips, you're gonna
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  Speaker 1: have mishaps. That's going to be some painful experiences. The
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  Speaker 1: experience ultimately brings forth suffering. So the question might be
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  Speaker 1: for you, how do I develop mastery through the chaos,
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  Speaker 1: through the mess, through these very tumultuous seasons? The first
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  Speaker 1: thing I would say is embrace the chaos. It's so
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  Speaker 1: tempting to say, I'm gonna become master of my life
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  Speaker 1: by planning it all out, by sitting down and planning
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  Speaker 1: it out and having a perfect plan with a perfect execution.
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  Speaker 1: That's not real because life is gonna life. Things are
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  Speaker 1: gonna happen. You're gonna have to balance. You're gonna have
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  Speaker 1: to compromise. There's gonna be a lot of discomfort that
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  Speaker 1: you will experience. So perfect execution and perfect planning isn't real.
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  Speaker 1: It sounds nice and fluffy. It sounds sugary, but sometimes
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  Speaker 1: life is a little sour. It's not always sweet. And
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  Speaker 1: so embracing the chaos is saying, I'm going to embrace, yes,
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  Speaker 1: some of the sweet things that are going to come
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  Speaker 1: with life. But I also know that there are some
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  Speaker 1: sour patches that are out there. True mastery. When you
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  Speaker 1: start to master your life, it's going to be you
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  Speaker 1: embracing the chaos that's within you You may have walked
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  Speaker 1: into your life with baggage as a child, from your
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  Speaker 1: high school, from wherever walk of life you've been. And
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  Speaker 1: you got to work within and you got to work
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  Speaker 1: around the chaos of your life. The many steps you've
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  Speaker 1: taken along the way. Think about your chaos as the
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  Speaker 1: raw material that you are going to use to sculpt
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  Speaker 1: your life. You're going to reframe your frame. That's what
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  Speaker 1: chaos is. That's the messiness that you need to embrace
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  Speaker 1: because through that messiness, you are going to find the
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  Speaker 1: raw materials. You're going to find the seeds that you
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  Speaker 1: need to start putting down on the ground so you
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  Speaker 1: can have growth and you can start seeing transformation after
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  Speaker 1: some time has elapsed. But it first starts with embracing
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  Speaker 1: the chaos. The other piece of becoming a master of
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  Speaker 1: your mess is... Looking at your life as art and
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  Speaker 1: you are responsible to manage that art. And one of
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  Speaker 1: the art forms I think of when I think of
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  Speaker 1: the many things that you have to orchestrate in your
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  Speaker 1: life is in fact instruments. I remember when my daughter
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  Speaker 1: was in elementary school, she played the clarinet. And so
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  Speaker 1: when she got to middle school, she fell in love
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  Speaker 1: with the bass clarinet. And she became the first bass
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  Speaker 1: clarinet player at her middle school. And she was excited
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  Speaker 1: about that. It was a challenging instrument. It was something
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  Speaker 1: no one else had played, but it was something that
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  Speaker 1: her music instructor had encouraged her to take a chance
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  Speaker 1: and do something new. And she did that. And the
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  Speaker 1: beautiful thing about the bass clarinet is the instructor or
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  Speaker 1: the music teacher had to find pieces where this particular
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  Speaker 1: art form, this instrument, would add depth and add deep
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  Speaker 1: richness to the music. to the band, to the orchestra.
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  Speaker 1: By itself, the bass clarinet is not gonna do what
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  Speaker 1: it can do when it's brought together with the other
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  Speaker 1: pieces that make this a beautiful sound. And sometimes when
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  Speaker 1: you play all these instruments, I'm having a little bit
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  Speaker 1: of flashbacks when my daughter first started learning the clarinet.
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  Speaker 1: And if you've ever played an instrument or had somebody
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  Speaker 1: learning around you, it's not pretty at first. It's messy.
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  Speaker 1: It's chaotic. But after you start to cultivate that chaos,
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  Speaker 1: you start to develop harmony. And that relationship starts to
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  Speaker 1: work with the other pieces of your life. Sometimes there's
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  Speaker 1: something new that comes in your life, like this instrument
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  Speaker 1: came in to this band and it didn't seem like
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  Speaker 1: it fit. But once you start finding the right pieces
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  Speaker 1: and you start cultivating that relationship with that thing, You
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  Speaker 1: start to master the mess. And you start to orchestrate
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  Speaker 1: along with the various other elements of your life, of
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  Speaker 1: your life symphony. And so that's a really important piece
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  Speaker 1: of what is needed when you become master. You're going
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  Speaker 1: to have many pieces that when you play them individually
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  Speaker 1: and when you play them for the first time, it's
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  Speaker 1: not going to sound right. It's not going to make sense.
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  Speaker 1: But when you bring it all together, you walk away
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  Speaker 1: with harmonious sound. What harmony looks like in your life
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  Speaker 1: is decluttering your space. It's establishing routines, right? Remember when
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  Speaker 1: you first started working at a particular place and you
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  Speaker 1: had to change your work routine, you had to change
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  Speaker 1: when you would work out because of the distance and
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  Speaker 1: how long it took for you to get to work.
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  Speaker 1: Everything starts to change because you brought this new piece in,
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  Speaker 1: but it in fact can work. So you're establishing routines.
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  Speaker 1: You're prioritizing. You have to prioritize you in the middle
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  Speaker 1: of all of this because it's not going to work
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  Speaker 1: without you. You are the common denominator to this beautiful orchestra,
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  Speaker 1: this symphony of your life. And the last piece that
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  Speaker 1: will help you become master of your mess is to
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  Speaker 1: learn to navigate your mess properly. with intentionality. I pride
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  Speaker 1: myself on in terms of this podcast is making sure
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  Speaker 1: that we are, you are intentional about the things you say,
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  Speaker 1: the things you do, and even what you think. It
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  Speaker 1: all starts in your mind. And so I want you
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  Speaker 1: to be intentional about how you think about yourself and
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  Speaker 1: how you think about your situation. Now, I know that
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  Speaker 1: when we think about The path to mastery, we think
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  Speaker 1: about this great destination, but the path to mastery is
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  Speaker 1: a journey. That's right, it is a journey. It's gonna
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  Speaker 1: take multiple steps, multiple attempts, several tries, falling down nine
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  Speaker 1: times and getting up 10. That's how it works. So
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  Speaker 1: speaking of a fall, how many of you fell in 2023?
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  Speaker 1: I'm talking you fell off your workout routine. You fell
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  Speaker 1: off your business routine. You fell off your financial goals.
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  Speaker 1: You fell off. You fell into a mess. You got
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  Speaker 1: into a new mess that's not even your mess. Here's
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  Speaker 1: the thing about the fall. You survived 100% of your
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  Speaker 1: worst days. You are on the other side of that
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  Speaker 1: worst day. So I want you to remember that as
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  Speaker 1: you go through this path, this journey, is that Even
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  Speaker 1: if I fall, even if I fall, when I fall,
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  Speaker 1: I am going to survive that moment. Your journey is
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  Speaker 1: going to be marked with your growth, your resilience. And
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  Speaker 1: like I said, in that valley, in that wilderness is
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  Speaker 1: what I call it. That's where you get your self-discovery.
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  Speaker 1: And your life is a continuum of self-discovery. But along
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  Speaker 1: the way, while you're self-discovering, you're gonna be set back.
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  Speaker 1: You're gonna be pushed back. You're gonna be challenged. You're
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  Speaker 1: gonna find obstacles that you didn't even think existed in
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  Speaker 1: the world. But all of those things are necessary for
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  Speaker 1: your mastery, for you to excel and be propelled into
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  Speaker 1: a space of growth and refinement. It's best to embrace
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  Speaker 1: the process. Do it early, do it often, and repeat.
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  Speaker 1: Trust yourself. And before you know it, you are gonna
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  Speaker 1: find yourself giving a masterclass. I don't know to whom
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  Speaker 1: and I don't know when, but I know there's a
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  Speaker 1: story about you that no one else can tell because
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  Speaker 1: there is no one like you, no one has your story,
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  Speaker 1: and no one can tell the story in the way
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  Speaker 1: you can. When you master your mess, you will in
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  Speaker 1: fact Pave the path to your mastery.