Latest / Spirit Sessions: Sex, Spirit & Self-Care / Ep. 252 10 Uncomfortable Signs Your Nervous System Is Healing

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Ep. 252 10 Uncomfortable Signs Your Nervous System Is Healing · Spirit Sessions: Sex, Spirit & Self-Care

• 0:12
  Welcome to the Spirit Sessions podcast.
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  I'm your guide, Katie Silcox, bringing you your weekly self-love soundbite.
• 0:23
  Join us where I'll help you find your true spiritual home, where every single
• 0:28
  aspect of you is a holy ground.
• 0:31
  Holy ground.
• 0:32
  Holy ground.
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  Holy ground.
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  This is the Spirit Sessions podcast with Katie Silcox, Bangerchikos
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  and Betamos.
• 0:59
  Hi everyone, Katie here.
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  This podcast is intended to inspire you, educate you, and most importantly,
• 1:08
  support you on your journey towards knowing who you really are, that inner
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  self, that inner teacher.
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  I am not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer professional
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  health or medical advice on this podcast.
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  If you're suffering from any kind of psychological or medical issue, please do
• 1:28
  the right thing and seek help from your qualified health professional.
• 1:34
  Hello everyone.
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  This is Katie Silcox, your Ayurveda Golf Friday.
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  I'm here with a really cool dual set of podcasts.
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  I'm going to release one this week and the one next week will be a follow up on
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  it.
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  And today I want to talk about just some signs that your nervous system is
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  healing and doing better that might not always feel like it.
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  And of course, as I started this podcast, the mowers decided to come.
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  So apologies for those sounds in the background and they will be wonderful for
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  us to grow our resiliency to annoyances like mowing.
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  Oh, what an important thing to talk about.
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  Before I get into some of the signs that your nervous system is healing that
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  don't always feel good.
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  Of course, right?
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  If everything healing felt good, people would be doing it all the time.
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  And what I'll promise you is this, over time it will feel better.
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  But often we have to kind of go through to get to the other side.
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  And I'm reminded of one of my dear, dear, dear friends, who's now a close
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  friend of mine.
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  And we met because she had originally come to one of my events.
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  She ended up doing our full level one, level two Ayurveda school.
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  And now that she's out of all those programs and we're just kind of buddies, we
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  live in the same town.
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  She said to me years ago, she was like, you know, you kind of wrecked my life
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  for a while with the Shakti school.
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  And I was like, what do you mean?
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  And she's like, I, you know, I started crying a lot more.
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  I started not wanting to go out and party as much.
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  I started saying no to a lot of things.
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  And my boyfriend was like, Hey, can we get the old person back?
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  And, you know, and he's a good guy.
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  So he, he supported her along the journey.
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  But I always remember that as like, when someone starts level one, which by the
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  way, you should all sign up for, it's not just an Ayurveda certification.
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  It's a, it's a somatic Ayurveda journey.
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  It's a, it's a soul retrieval.
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  It's a returning your true self to every tissue layer, every cellular
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  anatomical, emotional, soul, spirit, level of who you are.
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  It is, and we do it in such a sweet, fun way.
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  It's, it's not, you know, insanely cathartic in the sense of, of these extreme
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  experiences, but like a very titrated, gentle drip for the nervous system.
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  We really parasympathetically prioritize.
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  And so I wanted to talk today about some of the signs I've seen in both my
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  clinical experience, as well as my personal experience and anecdotal experience
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  and working with thousands of women in what it looks like when you start to
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  heal for real, heal for real.
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  And, you know, we talk about the nervous system and, and I think that's okay.
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  It's a big buzz term right now, but the nervous system is just a part of it,
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  right?
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  You're created of all of these different physical tissue layers that are
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  integrated into the psyche and, and the spiritual being.
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  And so we can even think about it as 10 different ways or a multitude of ways.
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  I don't know if we'll do 10 or not, that really are signposts that you're,
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  you're doing good.
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  And it's important to remember this because when we're on these depth journeys
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  and shadow side journeys, it can feel really scary and really frustrating.
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  And it's like a two steps forward, one back type of thing.
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  And the first thing that in the beginning, you may start to notice as you begin
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  to heal, not only your nervous system, but your entire system is that you
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  actually do become, as my friend was stating, you become initially more
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  sensitive.
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  And that's a good thing.
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  The whole discipline of yoga, meditation, any type of therapeutic endeavor is
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  that we're beginning to open up doorways and hardenings that have happened over
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  the course of our past that we've had to shore up in order to just get by.
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  And so as you begin to let down and let go, what you may notice initially is
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  that initially you're a little more sensitive.
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  So maybe you need to, you know, have like better lighting in your house or, um,
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  you're not as like tolerant of the old things you used to do effortlessly or
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  maybe not effortlessly, but like more, what's the word I'm looking for?
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  Mindlessly.
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  So overworking or hanging out with people you don't really enjoy being around
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  or a lot of conflict or chaos.
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  You just start to feel like less tolerant of that initially.
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  And why I think that's important to remember is that what we're attempting to
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  do is in Tantra is to live in reality.
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  And so many of us are ignoring so many signals from our body and from our heart
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  and from our soul that things aren't, you know, let me say it like this.
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  We're no longer willing to override our own signals.
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  You start to become a little more sensitive initially.
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  And in the next podcast, we'll talk about some of the nervous system signs and
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  spiritual signs that you're healing that are a little further along down the
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  journey.
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  Another thing that is really, really common initially, as you begin to open up
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  and heal, you may become more tired.
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  You need a little more time alone.
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  You need to rest more.
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  You may even feel very, very tired for a period.
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  And while, of course, we don't want you languishing about in a depressive state
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  for long, I think it's important to allow your system time to unravel.
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  You know, I just put out a really sweet video.
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  I hope you'll follow us on Instagram.
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  And I made it.
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  I handmade it about what my Ayurveda looks like.
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  And one of the images in the movie, the little mini movie we put up on
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  Instagram, it's pinned, by the way, on our profile.
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  If you want to look at it, I just went out into the peach orchards and this
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  movie sort of came out.
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  And one of the images is like, some days my Ayurveda is like, I am in my
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  bedroom, you know, and I'm from the South.
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  And so sometimes in the South, we say things like, I'm taking to my bedroom
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  quarters, you know, it's time to take to my bed.
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  And like all of our ancestors like laid on the fainting couch for a while.
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  So, you know, the body, when it stops running on the energy of urgency, which
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  by the way, is one of like, the main signals that you're living in survival
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  mode, when everything feels like imperative, urgent, we become hyper vigilance.
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  When you stop running that program, you realize like, okay, I can actually give
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  myself some time.
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  When I'm not running on adrenaline and that hyper vigilance, you may start to
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  be like, oh my God, I'm actually exhausted.
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  So rest may temporarily feel almost required.
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  Here's another one that's really, really, really common.
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  And I think one of the reasons people avoid their own healing and their own
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  healing journey with the nervous system is like, I promise you on the other
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  side of this, there's so much goodness and so much relief, but you actually
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  become more emotional, not less.
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  But you're no longer reactively emotional.
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  So what happens in normal life, most of the time with most people, I would say
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  most on this planet is they're living through emotional reactivity.
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  And when you start to heal, you're carving out these moments.
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  That's why Ayurveda School is so powerful.
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  Like you get this three hour long chunk every week for a year, sacred time
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  where we're letting ourselves actually intentionally open and be truthful about
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  what happens when we open to our body, to our mind, to our feelings.
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  Initially, you might have more anger, more grief, more, you name it, right?
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  There's a million different nuanced emotions, but you also are going to have
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  more joy, more tenderness, more contentment.
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  And all of those true emotions start to make you feel this amazing thing, which
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  is real and alive.
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  And that's incredible.
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  A regulated nervous system doesn't always feel calm.
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  It feels true.
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  It's not numb.
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  It means that we have a greater capacity for being able to actually feel what
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  in the past we had to suppress.
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  Mind blowing.
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  Another one I just want to highlight, and this one, you know, it's so cool.
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  You get more angry often, because so many of us have lived for so long in
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  freeze and functional freeze.
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  And one of the ways that we, when we come out, sometimes we feel that original
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  anger that made us go into freeze or that original fear that made us go into
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  freeze.
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  Healthy anger, healthy fear, you can feel it and then it digests.
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  Whereas chronic self abandonment and people pleasing and appeasing, that's like
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  almost unbearable.
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  And so we get to suddenly be like, wait, I actually don't like this.
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  Anger becomes information rather than like a big emergency.
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  Another sign that you might be healing and that your nervous system is healing
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  initially is that people don't like it.
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  Right.
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  Or you say no more or you even disappoint people more.
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  You say no, you might leave an event earlier.
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  I know for me when I really started healing, and I've been on this journey for
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  a really long time.
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  I remember being in my mid 20s and being in a movie theater with a guy and
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  being like, I think it was the movie.
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  Some of you might love this movie, No Shade.
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  But for me, it was like, yeah, no, I can't.
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  My nervous system is not down for this.
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  I was at the movie Trainspotting.
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  It's like all about drug use and it's so dark.
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  And I understand that's probably a very good movie, but I got up and left and I
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  had to.
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  It was like my system was not going to sit there and endure.
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  And so for me, I do not will not and do not want to in this lifetime watch
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  violent movies or horror movies.
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  I'm happy to be aware of the violence in myself and the world, but I'm not
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  going to like pay and be entertained by it all the time.
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  So you may find you're leaving things that you normally would have sat through
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  to be socially play and fit into the matrix.
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  So that's kind of interesting.
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  And remember, boundaries are not about what you are making other people do.
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  That's really important boundaries are what you're deciding to do with yourself
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  and your own body and your own mind.
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  Another one is that you may notice.
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  Let me say it like this.
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  You become more aware of how cuckoo you can be.
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  Right.
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  It's like you start to become more awake to how you get dysregulated, whether
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  it be, you know, emotional reactivity, triggers, thought patterns, you start to
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  be able to see it more clearly.
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  But, you know, and in the talk I'll do in our second part of the series, you
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  know, the great news is that you also stop identifying with your thoughts as
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  much and you can kind of heal them off like the front of your brain that kind
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  of gets melded to thinking you are the thoughts.
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  Another thing that, you know, I still struggle with, but is a really good sign.
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  I'm a gal that likes a good resolution.
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  I don't like lingering debt.
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  And you know who you are if you're like that.
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  Some of you, and I admire you, you can like get a bill in the mail and just let
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  it sit on your desk for a while.
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  You can get an email about a problem and you can let it cook.
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  I'm not like that.
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  I like things.
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  I don't like a debt, which is a good quality.
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  But when your nervous systems weren't healed, you aren't operating as much from
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  urgency.
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  And so you can let there be less of a need for getting things solved
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  immediately.
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  And that can be very, very helpful.
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  I mean, I have sat through hours and hours of conflict resolution and repair
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  and relationships where you're just like, you know what, we could have just
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  like not talked for a few hours and maybe even a few days.
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  And that could have been helpful rather than like forcing an immediate
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  resolution.
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  A difficult conversation does not have to be solved tonight.
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  Emails and texts can go unanswered.
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  And it's okay if people are waiting or misunderstand you.
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  But I think I think the big thing is our nervous system begins to learn that
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  while uncertainty and lack of resolution might be uncomfortable, it's not a
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  problem.
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  And it's not dangerous that this is still one that is like so, so powerful for
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  me.
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  You know, another one that comes to mind is that your nervous system is
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  healing, that you're spiritually healing.
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  What used to work isn't working anymore.
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  And you know it.
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  The old strategies of the cope didn't work anymore.
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  So like the booze isn't working, the pot isn't working, the sex isn't working,
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  the male validation, the female validation, you fill in the blank, that isn't
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  working anymore.
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  And you know, overworking, scrolling on Instagram, shopping online, overeating,
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  you just kind of get to the point where you realize that you are an addict.
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  And I mean it.
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  We're all addicts, even the spiritual people, right?
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  They're addicted to God.
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  That might be a good one.
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  But we're all addicts.
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  And when you really start to heal, you start to realize that you have to get
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  sober.
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  And the first few days of getting sober and the first few weeks and the first
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  few months even of getting sober feel like shit.
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  They do.
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  And I know, because I've gotten sober from a number of things.
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  And this phase feels really hard because that old bridge has collapsed before,
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  you know, you feel like we've built a new one.
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  If you've ever broken up with someone, you know the feeling, right?
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  When you know that it's over and you have to make that choice, but you haven't
• 17:21
  yet rebuilt your new life where they aren't one of the centers of your psyche.
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  It's the same thing with all coping mechanisms.
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  Ooh, another one that comes to mind that's been really important for me is you
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  just become more resilient and you recover better, right?
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  It's not that you don't feel anxious, sad alone, you know, whatever it is that
• 17:45
  you recover from things better and quicker.
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  And I think that's one of the most important ones.
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  It's not like, oh, I never get activated in the same way I used to, or I never
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  fall into my own old addictive patterns.
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  It's that I wake up quicker from my trance and I know how to get home to myself
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  quicker and quicker.
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  So what used to be like a spiral that could have lasted days or weeks becomes
• 18:13
  maybe a few hours.
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  And eventually it gets less and less.
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  Another thing, another sign that your nervous system is healing and your
• 18:24
  spiritual life is increasing is that you become more attracted to simple
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  things.
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  You become more committed to a life that's full of peace and you become more
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  able to tune to the subtle world of nature, of the breeze, of the rising sun,
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  of the light in the leaves at sunset.
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  You become more attracted to and desirous of a life that involves the healthy
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  life-giving, life-affirming pleasures of life and you have less desire for
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  drama.
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  And not that we don't want drama.
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  Drama is wonderful as well.
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  Like that's why we want to go watch a good movie, but our lives are no longer
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  operating from this place of unnecessary chaos.
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  You become less magnetized to intensity and unpredictability and relationships
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  and emotional roller coasters that thrive on addiction.
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  Consistency, peace, things that your younger self may have considered boring
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  become nourishing rather than flat.
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  Your nervous system begins to recognize safety as aliveness.
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  And we're never safe by the way.
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  Life is not meant to be safe.
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  When I say safety, there's this reservoir of goodness, of peace inside that
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  from that place we can feel that there is so much aliveness, so much pulsation,
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  so much prana, right?
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  Energy.
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  And that's the meaning of Shakti.
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  And so I think the central idea here is that you'll know your nervous system is
• 20:15
  healing, not because you never get upset or dysregulated, but it's that you're
• 20:20
  becoming more and more yourself.
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  You're becoming a person who can move in and out of these different states of
• 20:26
  life and emotion and always find your way back to who you are and to the
• 20:31
  essential goodness and trust in life and in yourself, whether it's safe or not,
• 20:37
  it's all the time that you actually know how to come home.
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  And why?
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  When we start to heal, you may actually feel like, wow, things are kind of
• 20:49
  getting a little bit worse before they get better.
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  It's that two steps forward, two back.
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  And I think that's important to remember because the worst thing that can
• 20:57
  happen is that you give up on your path, you give up on your healing.
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  That is one of the reasons that we created this one year program.
• 21:07
  I know a lot of you who listen to the podcast are already in Shakti school
• 21:12
  currently, or you've already done it, but I know a lot of you are new to us and
• 21:16
  considering the program.
• 21:19
  2027 is going to be such a powerful portal.
• 21:23
  And our new class starts January.
• 21:26
  We are now in September, but now really is the time to join us.
• 21:31
  And I am going to connect you all with some links in the show notes to our
• 21:37
  world famous feminine form Ayurveda mini course.
• 21:40
  It's totally free.
• 21:42
  Get that in the link if you want to take a free course with yours truly Katie
• 21:46
  Silcox.
• 21:47
  I'm the lead teacher and founder of the Shakti school, but we also have many,
• 21:51
  many, many other teachers from many different varying backgrounds that
• 21:56
  contribute to the year long program.
• 21:59
  And I'm also going to let you know that right now we're in early bird, but it's
• 22:02
  only lasting September and October.
• 22:06
  After that, the class course price goes up.
• 22:09
  So if you're considering it, don't wait.
• 22:12
  Sign up now.
• 22:13
  If you want to talk to a real live human woman about it, she's ready.
• 22:18
  I have a whole beautiful team of goddesses that are happy to speak with you.
• 22:24
  And that link is also in our show notes.
• 22:27
  Stay tuned next week.
• 22:28
  We're going to talk about, okay, what are some other signs that you are healing
• 22:33
  that your nervous system is improving, that your regulatory capacity is
• 22:38
  becoming more reflective of reality as it is.
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  And guess what?
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  We talked about ones this week that maybe are kind of like these don't feel so
• 22:47
  good.
• 22:48
  Next week, we're going to talk about the ones that feel really good.
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  All right, ladies and gentlemen of the podcast.
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  It's been great hanging out with you and I'll see you next week.
• 23:02
  This is the story of my Ayurveda.
• 23:05
  My Ayurveda isn't fancy.
• 23:07
  It isn't perfect.
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  And it certainly isn't dogmatic.
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  My Ayurveda lives like I do in the Appalachian mountains where I was raised,
• 23:16
  running barefoot through the woods and eating peaches in the summertime where
• 23:21
  the juice would drip down my arm.
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  It's in my grandma's breakfasts and my mama's apple pie.
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  It's the smell of cinnamon and nutmeg and all things holy and earth.
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  And some days my Ayurveda feels like I'm dancing barefoot under the full moon.
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  And other days it looks like a whole afternoon in bed and that's okay.
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  Sometimes my Ayurveda feels like I can lay down by a quiet stream and just let
• 23:47
  the lullabies of the one true mother of all of us rock me to sleep.
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  My Ayurveda is not built on rigid rules or impossible standards.
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  Trust me, I've tried that.
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  It doesn't work.
• 23:59
  This Ayurveda of mine, it's not perfection, but it is about remembering.
• 24:05
  The ancient teachers that I've studied with for over 30 years have taught me
• 24:09
  the one thing that is the most important to remember in Ayurveda is that your
• 24:14
  food can be your medicine and everything we take in is food.
• 24:20
  Ayurveda taught me that it also must meet the time, the place, and the people
• 24:24
  in which it is living.
• 24:26
  That's the Ayurveda I believe in and it's the Ayurveda that I've seen change
• 24:29
  the lives of thousands of women.
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  On one hand here at Shakti school we deeply bow and have great reverence before
• 24:38
  these teachings of India and in the other hand we hold this beautiful
• 24:42
  complicated reality of being a modern woman all over the world.
• 24:48
  My Ayurveda is imperfect and that's because it's alive, it's real, and that
• 24:53
  makes it holy.
• 24:55
  Today, this year, I want to invite you into the world's most beloved women's
• 25:00
  Ayurveda school not to become someone else, not to follow my Ayurveda or any of
• 25:06
  our incredible teachers Ayurveda, but to discover your Ayurveda and I promise
• 25:11
  you that Ayurveda will bring you better digestion, more energy, more joy, more
• 25:17
  love, more truth, and a life of deep purpose.
• 25:21
  You will feel that you're standing more and more in the truth of who you are.
• 25:26
  That's what Ayurveda is.
• 25:29
  This is the year you stop searching for someone else's Ayurveda and you learn
• 25:35
  how to come home to yours.
• 25:38
  Shakti school is a place where you can live your own Ayurveda.
• 25:43
  Join us and we will show you how.
• 25:51
  A big special thanks to Kevin Carlyle of Goodbye Gemini who wrote this
• 25:57
  beautiful podcast music and to DJ Juan Pablo Jimenez in southern Spain for
• 26:03
  mixing it and making it magic.