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Six Ways We Sabotage Our Relationships · Doing Marriage Well

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  Doing Marriage Well for September 1st, 2026 6 Ways We Sabotage Our Relationships.
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  If you find yourself in an ongoing disruption with your spouse or someone else,
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  and there seems to be no way to fix it, the first thing to ask yourself is how much of it is you.
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  Are you being selfish or petty? Are you standing your ground out of pride?
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  Are you afraid doing what you know you should will cost you?
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  Are you stuck on what you think you deserve from the other person?
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  Are you making assumptions about the other person?
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  Let's look at each of these in turn Selfish When we get hurt,
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  we become selfish With physical injuries, this is a good thing As it can help
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  us avoid making the injury worse,
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  This can also be true for emotional injuries But we often go too far or keep
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  doing it too long If you think you're protecting yourself Ask what you're protecting
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  yourself from Is it real or imaginary?
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  Have you exaggerated it? Are you worried about a hypothetical?
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  And finally, is it something God tells us to take for the sake of relationship?
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  See 1 Corinthians 13, 4-7.
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  Petty. This goes back to, are you exaggerating something? Or are you assigning
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  greater importance than is valid?
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  Are you holding a long-standing relationship hostage to something small that
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  shouldn't matter in the larger context?
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  Pride. This is the big one, and it's what kills relationships.
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  We don't feel properly valued by the other person. Pride can keep us from apologizing,
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  Pride makes us difficult and unreasonable And it can cause us to wait for the
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  other person to go first Pride is building a wall And expecting the other person to climb it to get to us.
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  Doing what's right will cost you. The truth is, doing what is right does sometimes
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  cost us. But we still do it because it's right.
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  Is the relationship worth that? Is the other person worth that?
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  What you think you deserve. This is usually an extension of pride.
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  You think they were more wrong, so they need to start the reconciliation process.
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  You don't think their apology or attempt to reconcile was enough.
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  So you reject it or wait for them to do better.
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  Your imperfect perception becomes what prevents healing.
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  Making assumptions about the other people. I can't tell you how often I've heard
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  she or he meant to hurt me.
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  You can't know that. You can't know what they were feeling or thinking.
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  And you can't know that what you heard is what they wanted to communicate.
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  We also assume indifference saying she doesn't care or it doesn't matter to him.
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  If you see any of these on your part, please own them. Change and apologize
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  as needed. Ask God for help with that if it's a struggle.
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  This is Paul, and doing relationships well can be difficult.