Latest / The REALationship Method / Dealing with Online Hating, Red and Green flags for a Cancer, Hairless Men and Side Pieces with Ashley

Transcript

Dealing with Online Hating, Red and Green flags for a Cancer, Hairless Men and Side Pieces with Ashley · The REALationship Method

• 0:07
  Speaker 1: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, remember my marrow.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of the Relationship Method Podcast.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: I'm Chris, and today I have a very special guest one of my homegirls from back home.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: She's a mom, she's a model, she works for a living too.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: She's also a hot damn singer, and a pretty damn good one.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: Yo give it up for Miss Ashley Abbott.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: Yay, hey, Happy New Year.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: Oh hell, no, no.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: Thank you for coming along and joining me, me on this lovely uh podcast day of course hell yeah, ask before I uh.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: Before we get into it, let me ask you how did I get the yes from you?
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: I mean, we're just.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: We were always tight back in the day, so it was an automatic.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: Yes, you know like we started off with dancing choreography together and yeah, yeah, we, we were dancing together.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: I don't know if you remember that, but I do remember it so long ago.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: You know so, and we even had like these little nicknames for each other, like omelet and star.
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: I don't even know how that happened, but that happened it just stuck, it just stuck yeah and then you said dancing.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: We were in um.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: Was it Francine's studio in Marina?
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: I remember it was with J-Boy, it was.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: J, yeah, yeah, so it was rhythmic flow you were a part of rhythmic flow.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: Yes, you were a part of that for a cool minute.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: So yeah, oh, fucking memories, man, yeah, memories man yeah but yeah, hell yeah.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: So that's how I got the yes.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: So, ash, like, how's your week been, how's your day going?
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: my week has been actually kind of crazy, and that's because I'm ready to drum roll vacation.
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: Where are you going?
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: I'm going to Cancun oh, wow.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: Okay, how long are you going to be out there for?
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: 5 days, 4 nights you're going to get full, full fat.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, and freaking tipsy, are you going with um, with your mans, with your girls, with your team?
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: Who you?
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: going.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: I'm definitely going with my man, so uh-huh with your mans, with my okay, so that that that x'd out the question of you being single or not.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: So she's taken y'all, sorry, sorry, boo, freaking boo.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: And then with your mans, like how long you been with your mans for?
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: I'd say we were, because it was a very interesting like transition with him.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: It was so, I would say, getting to know and dating and everything.
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: A total of two years.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: Oh nice.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: And you said what getting?
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: To know and dating and everything, uh a total of two years, oh nice.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: And you said what getting to know and dating?
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: so simultaneously you were uh dating and getting to know him yeah, like, like, yeah, like, I wanted to take things slow, you know that's good yeah, yeah just so, I don't know.
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: I feel like I've been traumatized in the past so you know like yeah, yeah this time I gotta make sure you know, take it slow.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: And he agreed to like.
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: It's one of those things where, like, it was like a mutual respect thing for each other, so it worked out oh, that's real good.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: I'm very happy for you.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: Um, could this guy be?
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: Is it too early to say like the one, or is you guys are still working in that stage?
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: that honeymoon stage honeymoon phase well, I guess, since you're asking, we recently just got engaged like congratulations man I haven't announced it yet, but I feel like by the time this, this video comes out, it's gonna be announced, because I'm announcing it next week.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's going to.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: You're going to come out before this one.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, oh, but fuck man Congratulations.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: I know right, I'm engaged.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: Oh girl, Congratulations.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: How did it happen?
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: Well, give me the setting.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: Um, okay, it's good, it's one of them.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: Sorry, I got you it's gonna be one of them stories, all right okay, I can tell you how it happened.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: honestly, it was sweet.
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: The way it happened was very sweet.
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: Um, he, he, we were, we were just in a very intimate setting and you know, he did start off with asking me like, oh, you know, like you would have like kids with me and stuff.
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, yeah, if you want a baby, I'd give you a baby.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: You know, I think men just kind of get like, um, they worry, oh, I've already have kids, so like, maybe she's done right.
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: And and then I was like, no, if you really want a baby, I'll give you a baby.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: Like I want, I want another one too.
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: Anyways, like I'm trying to get a boy.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: And so then he was like, fuck it, will you be my wife?
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: I'm like, wait, first baby question.
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: And then, fuck it, will you be my wife?
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: I'm like, uh, uh, okay, sure, yeah, let's do it, you know.
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: And so I have, you know I have the ring and um, you know, he, he definitely like planned out something more formal, like you know, because I told him I was like it's there's no need, you know.
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: But he said I like he's like honestly, like I wanted to ask you more in a formal way.
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: So he has something very special planned for me.
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: I don't know when or where, or you know like when he's going to do that, but he tells me.
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: Like you know, just sit tight, it's going to be real special.
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: So, like, I'm letting him do his thing, you know, I'm letting him be the man that he is.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, oh him, do his thing.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: You know he, I'm letting him be the man that he is.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, yeah, oh, that's cute.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: Um, when I got engaged, uh, that shit fell out of my pocket and I was like, oh, what do you mean?
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: it fell out of your pocket like the ring yeah.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: So I was folding my clothes and it plopped and I was like, and she was like, what's this?
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, will you marry me?
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: that's hilarious.
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: Did you do that on purpose?
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: hell no, I totally fucking forgot.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: It was in my pocket man.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: She was like oh, what's this?
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: Because you know, like I don't let anyone touch my laundry, because yeah man, my shit stinks and I don't want anyone to touch or smell my funk, right, yeah, so, yeah, yeah.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: And also folding clothes.
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: Like I think it's to me it's very therapeutic to fold my clothes and you know, put it away, that's for me, and you are the opposite, because I hate folding my laundry.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: Oh, I love, I love, I hate that there's so much, but you know, folding it, putting socks together, and I have music on or one of my shows, and I'm like, oh, I'm good, you know.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: So go coming back.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: I was holding my clothes, I folded my pants and it was just.
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh man that's so funny, yeah, but prior to that.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: I did ask you know her dad, if you know I have permission, or yeah, this is what I'm fitting to do.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: So it's just the whole nuance of being romantic and have that special setting in place.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to have that story to tell you know my kids once they start understanding shit.
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: So, yeah.
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: So I'm happy for you that I mean, yours is like kind of humorous.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: But then there's another, I guess so there's a part two to this there's a part two.
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: And I told him I was like there's no need you know I'm I'm fine with how you know, but then for him he's like no, like it's special to me, like I feel like you deserve that.
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: I want to do this for you.
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: So I I think that's cute.
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: I think that's cute too, you know.
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: So I'm just like okay, I'll let you do your thing, you know oh, definitely, definitely and um, we're gonna switch up.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: Uh, you started as modeling first.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I remember you in high school you were like into modeling and this is like just amateur stuff.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: Before you became pro, yeah, I said pro and um, and then you went into singing.
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: When did this modeling thing like started popping off for you, right, when did that pop off?
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: you know, I feel like there was.
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: It was very wavy, right like it came in out of schemes, um, just because, like I don't know what it is, I feel like I'm always just kind of going through something crazy, you know.
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: So like I do?
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: I do my pauses and and then I get back into it.
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: I would say so what's your definition of like popping off?
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: So meaning like when did you know all these calls, all these email requests of you saying, hey, Ashley, I want, I want to shoot you, Can you be?
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: here.
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: Can you be there when?
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: did that started to become consistent in your schedule, like, oh shit, I have something on Friday, oh I have something on Monday, like that type of situation.
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: I would say it was consistent early on at first.
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: Like not, definitely not like when I first first started.
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: I would say maybe like a year being into it.
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: Then I started getting consistent and then you know, I moved to the East Coast.
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: So then that's when, that.
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: And then you know I moved to the East Coast.
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: So then that's when, that's when, like you know, obviously, like you know, it's like starting all over again in another you know, you know area, and then when I came back, I would say, coming back, it was easy to pick back up because people were like, oh, my God, you're back, you know.
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: So then people started hitting me up.
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: You know, it's like to me I feel like the connections here in the bay area uh, just just feel like easier, like you know, than, um, when I was in the east coast, the east coast was like it's like so much out there, right, but there's a lot of opportunity, but getting consistent, I felt like I was chasing a lot more out there versus here, um, but yeah, I feel like now I'm getting hit up a lot for both singing and modeling okay.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: So to caveat off of that singing, when did that started popping up?
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: Not popping off, but when did you started getting serious in that?
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna.
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: I must say, like maybe a year and a half ago, that's when I started like I think I want to do something with this, you know, like, because I started off with just recording, you know, and yeah, because to me being in the studio.
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: That's very therapeutic for me, like just just singing and like just getting in my creative space, writing.
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: I love to write like every all the songs that I've been on and, um, saying I you know that I've made myself, I wrote everything, so writing is probably the easiest part about me.
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: Um, making music I would say making maybe melodies is where, like, I struggle a bit, but, um, I've been doing that for a year and a half and now I've been getting hit up a lot for performances.
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: I seem to attract, like fashion shows the most out of like all, like you know, the gigs that come across me.
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: But yeah, so I took a, I did take a break.
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: I took a break last September because I was kind of grieving and, as of recent, I think I'm ready to like get back into it.
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: So you'll definitely see more music this year.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: Oh, hell, yeah, I cannot freaking wait.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: And I do love the fact that your creative outlet is, you know, writing in a studio and all this jazz, because that's how mike, like I've been like creatively creativity, like man, I've been creating a lot of like shit.
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: Like I've been writing a lot.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: Now I'm I'm to the point where I want it on like, like, say, film, or like behind the mic and stuff.
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: And it's like people ask me why am I doing this now?
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: And I told him I was like yo, I think I've, I've, I've gained enough experience to like speak my story or put it out on these, you know, comedy skits or like these drama segments and shit, right?
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: So yeah, and then also dude God like gifted me like this half-life, right?
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: So now I want to try ending the last of my years and shit like creating, you know, like something I really wanted to do.
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: So I really, I really look up to you for you know saying that you know, your creativity is like therapeutic, because this podcast me talking to other people.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: That's therapeutic to me, opposed to, you know, playing basketball in the gym.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: So, I'm glad that you found an outlet for your mental health oh yeah, a hundred percent, hundred percent yeah it's important oh oh, definitely, definitely so.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: Um, you have kids.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: How are the babies, how are the little ones?
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: oh my goodness.
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: Um well, one's not so little anymore.
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: One's like 14.
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: I know and I know you have like a whole adult too.
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: I'm just like, when I see you post, I'm like I know you have an adult, I'm like what I remember when she was a little, and and then I have a four-year-old and she, she's at her cute stage, you know.
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: So the 14, you know, I'm just like, I'm always just surprised with her because it's like, oh my gosh, you're so grown, you know yeah and, and she's such a sweetheart, like, god bless her.
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: And then, um, my little one, she's four, so she's at her cute stage where she still has the baby voice, but, um, she can, like communicate, so everything she says is so freaking cute.
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: I'm just like you know, like that's funny.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: oh, I know, I totally understand, uh, totally understand Kids, oh my.
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: God, I hope that I don't get no backlash for the cute aggression thing.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: I never, would never hurt my daughter, fyi.
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: But it's just when someone's so cute you should not.
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, no, I understand.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: And man fuck that.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: Man spank them.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: It's tradition.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: It's not abuse.
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: Goddamn they're going.
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: It's not tradition, it's not abuse.
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: God damn, they're gonna learn somehow, someway.
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: You know right.
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: Okay, for the record, I'm horrible at discipline.
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: I am horrible at discipline.
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: Oh man, I'm super big on like disciplining, like I don't know.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: It works for me, so why not work for the kids, you know?
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: I feel like I'm so bad at it I'm so sorry, I need to find off.
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, when I Ew don't do that, because.
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: I feel bad they're going to latch on.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: They're going to latch on and be like you know what I'm going to make mama cry and that's how I'm going to get my things back, or my phone back, you know.
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: I'm such a cancer bitch.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: Oh my, I'm a cancer too.
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: So what you crawl into a hey, break down the cancer thing, like you say, of being a cancer okay, we are nurturing, we're very protective, so you mess with who we love.
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: You messing with us, right?
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: Um, we're very nurturing.
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: We're gonna make sure you're you're well fed.
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: We're gonna make sure you're you're comfortable.
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: We're gonna make sure you are loved the right way.
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: Um what else?
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: Uh, we I for sure no cancers can cook.
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: I don't know what it is.
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: Every single cancer I've met I feel like they all can cook um what else?
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: And just like you will never be loved the way that cancer loves you.
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: Like, I'm just gonna say that that's.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: That's my personal opinion, but I really, really think so.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: Like okay, now give me um, give me the red flags of a cancer because I'm crashed.
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: The fuck out.
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: Really, we crash out.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to.
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to think, I'm trying to think where, okay, yeah, you're right, okay, I'll give you that.
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: I'll give you that we crash out like we get.
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: We get when we get pushed to the edge like people.
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: So people it's like okay.
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: I literally read, saw this moto like um not that long ago, where it's like if you don't start shit, there won't be no shit.
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: But the problem with people is they like to start shit.
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: So then they wonder why we crash out because we don't fucking play.
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so like you, piss the cancer off, you better run oh, so that's like the biggest red flag we just yeah, we're just crazy.
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: We're crazy, we're moody, or maybe I'm just talking about myself.
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: I don't know damn.
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: I don't know about all the other people.
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: I'm moody, no.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: I agree with the moody Like.
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: I get into my like little.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: I guess my little spurts were five minutes, I'm like, but then the next 10 is like, oh, okay I could do it and then the next three minutes.
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we get over shit hella fast though.
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: But we also can get mad hella fast, but then we'll get over it in 10 minutes.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: No but we also hold grudges too.
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: I feel like some cancers hold grudges.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: Some cancers hold grudges yeah, yeah, just a little bit, just a little bit.
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree, I agree, just a little bit just a little bit okay.
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: So getting mad right, um, and I don't know if you're experiencing this, but I've been experiencing like, like I don't want to say negative comments, but comments like towards me on social media now because of what I'm doing right.
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: So how do you like, because you're a model, you're a singer and I know like you're getting a lot of attention coming your way, a lot of comments, how do you filter out like the negatives, like what's what's a good way of you know?
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: Do you talk?
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: Are you like the one?
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: We're like man, fuck you, dude, you look like a wrinkled french fry bitch.
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: Don't even fucking come this way.
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: You know, like, do you?
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: do that.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: You're asking me this because, did you?
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: I don't know if you saw my stories.
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: Like two days ago I literally was like fuck all y'all oh, you know what I did?
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: I did see, I did see your story, but then, prior to that, I had one saying that, um, because I was talking about hip-hop on one podcast, and they're like oh, it's crazy how someone not black is talking about hip-hop.
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: And I'm like the fuck, like what do you mean by that?
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: Like non-black, like come on, dude, like I've been on this earth xamune years and I've listened to a lot of music, why can't I have my own opinion on hip hop?
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: so yeah, that's what?
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: yeah, so I had that and then yours came on my feed.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: I was like oh shit, let's fucking talk about it yeah, so damn your accent changed.
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: I hear the Hawaii in you now, but I'm sorry, side note, side note, side note hell no dog.
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: Hell, no, sorry, but yeah, going back to your question, um, honestly, I'm usually pretty good at kind of just like reading these comments, like y'all are weird and like I don't even see the point.
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: Like I'm really good at just like kind of ignoring it, because it does happen to me a lot, um, but there's some moments, like if I'm just like not having already having, if I already woke up in a bad mood, and then, especially when the comments come in waves, where it's like like a lot at once, then yeah, then I kind of like I kind of I do get online and I'm just like what's the point?
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: Like what?
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: Like, like you're not for, like most of them are usually behind a fake profile.
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: I don't know if that happens with you.
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: A lot of them are behind a fake profile and it's like like what is it that you're trying to prove right?
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: But yeah.
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: I do remind myself, like you have to just remember that these people can't even like, say it to you, like themselves with them, true selves, right.
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: So like they don't even like who they are, to where they have to be someone else, you know.
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: So if they don't like you, hun just remember they don't like themselves, which is really sad oh good so how can, how can what?
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: like, like, how can someone like share, like affection and love to other people if they can't even share for themselves?
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: And I've always told, I've always told people like haters, like, will express their.
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: I guess you could say haters are fans that don't know how to express their love in a positive way.
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: That's all how I always felt like haters are, are still fans, they're still a fan of you, but they just don't know how to express it in a positive way, so they only know how to express it negatively.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: I like that.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: I like that Good tips.
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: And then, how about for people that are starting out, because you've been in it for like a cool minute now You've been in it Like people that are starting out and they're getting already like negative backlash.
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: Do you have any tips for them on like?
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: how to keep on going.
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, sorry, my sorry for like always cutting off so fast, but um, but yeah, that happens when you start out, because people will look at that and they're gonna just doubt, right, they're gonna doubt because, like they, they don't have the courage to start themselves, right?
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: So it's, it's all it always comes from like an insecurity within right.
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: So then, it was like who's this girl thinking she can, like start modeling and singing?
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: Like you know, like she's not going to get anywhere.
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: And they feel that because that's actually what they think of themselves if they were to be the ones in that in their shoes.
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: So it's all projection if you really think about it, because you know they're.
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: They're just upset that they didn't have the huevos to go out and like do it themselves.
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: So they have to.
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: They have to make themselves feel better by putting everyone else down.
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: You know that's the only way that boosts their own ego.
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: Like look at me, I'm staying safe.
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: Like she looks hella dumb for starting out.
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: You know, like that's their way of reminding themselves that they are doing better yeah, oh, that's, that's a good tip.
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: Um, I remember when I started this thing, I had a lot of doubt in myself because I don't know if people would listen.
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: I didn't know if, like, I would get the following, which I didn't care, I didn't care about the following.
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: But, um, when I first started, I was like super scared because I didn't know if, like, I would get the following, which I didn't care, I didn't care about the following.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: But, um, when I first started, I was like super scared because I didn't know what the hell I was doing.
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: But, um, uh, I heard this, like somewhere else.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: But you see a big change from when you started to where you are now.
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: So, like episode one to episode 100 or whatever, you'll see a big change.
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: You'll see a lot of people thinking, oh man, this cat is like consistent, like she's consistent with their stuff.
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: It's like, wow, I see the transition.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: And then that's how the hater becomes the fan.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: Because they've gone through you know your story that whole timeline yeah, because they've gone through, you know your story that whole timeline, yeah.
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: So I think that yeah.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: And it makes them mad.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: That would be my tip.
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: Oh definitely, oh yeah.
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: It angers them.
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because they wanted a piece of them, wished or hoped like they started it themselves too.
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: You know, yeah, right, yeah, because I mean who doesn't want, like, I guess, another?
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: hobby.
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: That is not the same as you know him or her or the third, you know, right, yeah, so I mean, that's a good, that's a good way of like how I think of it, yeah, when it comes to, I guess, uh, starting and like continuing, continuing that journey, so yeah, yeah, I mean, I just I just feel like people get upset when they just see someone actually like succeeding, and I'm gonna say that's everyone right.
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we're talking about people that are, if hurt people hurt people, right, and I'm sure that that's something that's like overly said.
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, people always say that hurt people, hurt people.
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: So it's like when they're going through something and it just it just angers them because they they, they have the demons in them and they want to, they want to experience the light.
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to say those people are not capable of healing and getting a different perspective eventually, but they're not in the place that they they should be, you know.
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: So that's're not in the place that they should be you know so that's why they project the way they do.
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: Facts girl Facts.
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: Question All right, all right.
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: Fun time now.
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: Do you watch a lot of cartoons or do you watch a lot of Disney movies?
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'd say I've watched quite a few, especially with having kids.
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: Okay, and you watched a lot of, like, say, cartoon movies in the past, current, yeah, yep, alright, let me ask you this Um, out of all the cartoon guys right, who'd you smash?
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: What?
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: What kind of question is that?
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: That's not even a real like it is a real question who would you smash as a cartoon character, like guy wise, because I've heard a lot, I've heard dude.
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: I'd smash wily coyote because, damn, that motherfucker is smart and he reminds me of a you know, of a steve jobs with his brain.
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: Or I heard, oh man, I would, I would fuck Mr Incredible because, god damn you know.
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: Or Frozone I've heard Frozone.
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: So who would you smash as a cartoon character?
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: And mind you, you could turn them into like a man.
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: So like say, damn, I'd do Simba, I'd do adult Simba, or I'd do adult Nala, I ain't adult nala, I ain't gonna fucking, I ain't gonna walk away from that one.
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so um uh, damn, this is just gonna be.
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: This is gonna sound so bad that why this is gonna sound bad, why I'm picking this, but like I guess you could say like I'm into Asians, right, so I'm going to say what's his fucking name from?
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: Mulan.
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: The head, not the chief, but the oh God, I don't know, you know what?
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: Let's look it up.
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: Let's look it up.
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: I'm like.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: Well, I like Asians.
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: So, like, if I was to like, I guess, I mean, if I was to go for anyone, I guess it would be him.
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: Mulan huh, okay, okay, let's see.
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: Mulan's hubby, or whatever.
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: Li Shang.
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah him, there you go.
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: Him right, okay, okay, okay, li Shang, and he looks hairless though.
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: Oh, it's having a lot of body hair, is that?
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: a turn off.
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: No, I was just kidding.
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: Oh okay, my bad, my bad, it was just an adult and he looked hairless, you know.
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: Okay, okay, hairless.
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: Is that a turn off?
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: And if that is, why is it a turn off to women?
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: It's not a turn off.
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: I don't think it's a turn off.
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: If it's a man's hairy, Okay.
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: If it's overly hairy, maybe.
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: I don't want to be like I'm talking about.
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: Like.
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: I'm talking about like Like he's one of them Viking looking motherfuckers where they are like hairy, I don't know they are like hairy, I don't know.
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: I feel like I'll catch fleas or something Like maybe not.
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: Okay, so you'd rather have a clean shaven guy or someone that has less body hair.
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I like clean for sure.
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: That's you know what Good for you, Because I like women without a hairy chest too.
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah right, I'm sure that's essential for you, right.
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, definitely, definitely.
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: You know, I don't want to be, you don't want to be exfoliated.
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, facts, facts, um, for a guy, uh, let me ask you this this might be some TMI and you can tell me to pass it.
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: Um, do you, do you prefer the guy, uh, groomed down there, opposed to letting it go wild?
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: Um, I feel like it can go either way for me, because sometimes, when they don't groom it right, it's hella pokey.
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: Okay, okay, I can see that, I can see that.
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I can see that.
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: That's when it's like, that's when, like, I guess the shave is like at a three and it should be like at a one smooth, yeah.
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so like.
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: When it's pokey, it bothers me, but when it comes to like appearance wise, I mean as long as it's out of control.
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: It's not out of control, it's fine, you know.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: Like a hot damn bush.
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: It's not like you're going like this.
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: Then you can't find it like that.
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, as long as you look for it like this, oh, like right oh, like, like um, that movie from scary movie, yeah, yeah, that episode, oh, that's.
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: As for men, we like um, we like it groomed as well.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: As long as what you said, we're not going through it.
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: You know, it's just like it's properly tamed, you know, as long as it's brand.
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, exactly Like we've seen the designs.
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: What else is there?
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: There's like so many designs.
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we really don't care the appearance, and then for guys, we do get guys, we do get a little lazy, so we do apologize ahead of time for not being ready appearance-wise.
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: But I tell you this Just turn off the lights, baby.
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: Oh my, but I mean it still could get tangled through the hand.
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: Am I correct?
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: Like if, let's say, you're going down there and it's like oh, tangle, tangle, tangle.
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: I don't think I've ever had to like have.
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: I don't think I've ever had that problem or had to deal with that.
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: So good job, good job.
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: But if a woman did, how would a woman handle that?
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: Let's say, the hand's going down and your hand just gets a little bit caught because it's stuck between hair, how would you handle that?
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: That's a scenario.
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: How would you handle like, oh oops.
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: And then you hear the guy go, oh, like if you cause, you know, when you pull it you're like, oh shit.
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: I would probably be like do you should we go to the bathroom and like condition it?
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: they should be conditioned I don't know, that was my first thought, like let's fix it, like I can help you.
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: Would that still keep the mood going in the room After?
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: the conditioning.
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, trust me, I'm like on and off switch.
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: Ah, okay, Because I would think that it would be like okay, um, let's take five and get ourselves, you know, let's get ourselves together again and let's try again.
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: That's how I would see it panning out in my head yeah, that's fine.
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, whenever you're ready.
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: No pressure, no pressure.
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: It's like it's okay, it's okay.
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: It's okay To your comfortability.
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know.
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: Oh, that is so funny, told you, it'll go crazy, it'll go crazy.
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: And then, so funny, told you, it'll go crazy, it'll go crazy.
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: And then what else?
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: Um, oh, do you have any questions for me before I go into one of the questions that was asked or a comment that was asked on your, uh, on your post?
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: um no, I mean, I feel like I always I kind of like ping pong with you, you know so yeah I'll let you know when it comes up oh my gosh.
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: Okay, let me um, let me find your section of the hot damn thing.
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: Okay, uh so there was commenters wanting to ask me something of course, of course, um, oh, okay, um, what's more important, solitude or isolation?
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: Solitude this is not.
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: Is that not the same thing?
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: isolation.
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: So this is coming from a college kid.
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: Um, in my opinion, I think solitude is that you're at peace, being by yourself.
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: Oh, I'm sorry, I was thinking of another word.
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry, yeah, sorry, no, okay, sorry.
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: Got it.
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: You got it, girl, I got it, I got it Okay.
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: Solitude, okay, solitude or isolation what's more important?
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, or like solitude versus isolation.
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: I feel like isolation is never good.
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: I mean, like you can isolate to a certain extent, right.
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: So like too much of anything is bad, finding peace.
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: Sometimes you might have to isolate in order to find solitude, but, like I said, I feel like too much of isolation is never good and finding peace like that's 100% like our goal right here in life.
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, just finding peace within yourself, peace within your family, peace within your relationships and everything.
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: So I think they both tie together, but just not too much of isolation 100%, because it's never good.
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: You have to be out there and have your connections with the world and people, because that's the way that you, I feel like you keep this healthy.
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: Oh, 100%.
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: What I took away from that is take your broken pieces and make it back into peace, as in P-E-C-E.
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so that's a real good, mature answer, miss Ashley.
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: Oh, thank you.
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: Good one, good one.
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: Okay so the argument of a side piece right.
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: So side pieces right.
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: Do you think, let's say and this goes for both male and female, and this is the last question Do you think the side piece gets the better version of the person?
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: So let's say, you know you had a side piece man, right?
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: I'll say me that I have a side piece chick.
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: Do you think that the side piece chick is getting the best version of me, opposed to the relationship that I'm in?
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: So, with your question, so to you, your side piece man, do you think that he's getting the best version of you or, like in reverse, he's getting the best, yeah.
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: So like if I was to have my main and a side piece for the record I don't even know what that's like because I've never been in that but hypothetically, if I was to have a side piece, hypothetically, hypothetically, I know I was thinking I was like hypothetically, hypothetically.
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: I know I was thinking.
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: I was like did she just come up, make up a word?
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: I'm going to let her roll with it.
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: I ain't even going to say nothing, but I'm going to roll with it.
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: I caught myself Hypothetically if I had, I guess, a main dude and a side piece.
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: I don't.
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: I mean, mean I don't think that the side piece would get the best version of me, I mean I'm not even capable of doing that, I don't know.
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: But, um, because to me I'm gonna say this it's gonna be all within perspective what you value, what you value in a relationship.
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: Because you have to remember that people value different things.
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: So so many people will be like oh you know, she's wrong for being a gold digger, she's wrong for expecting these types of things in a relationship.
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: And, in my opinion, everyone's perspectives and expectations and standards are all different.
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: So I don't think there's a right or wrong way of having a type of you know need in a relationship.
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: So, going back to your question, it's going to be out of perspective.
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: So the best version of me, like you know, to someone, if I was their side piece, could be like know, um, their best version versus you know what I give to my main man and that's could still be his best version too.
• 35:56
  Speaker 2: Right, because what if a guy doesn't even want all of me?
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: What if he doesn't want my commitment?
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: What if he doesn't want anything but just you?
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: know the booty yeah, and so that could be the best side of me in his opinion.
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: And then to you know the person that I'm committed to and they value just like commitment, loyalty, love.
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: You know all of that, so in his eyes that might be the best version.
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: So to me it's kind of a hard question to.
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: I don't know if I answered that right.
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: No, you did.
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: You gave your introspect on that.
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: So again, thank you, girl.
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: That was fun.
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: Do you have any questions for me, or do you have any shout-outs, or where can these people find you at?
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: So you can find me on Instagram, aaaabbott A-B-B-O abbott um.
• 36:52
  Speaker 2: I'm also on youtube, ashley abbott.
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: You can search for my music there too, and on spotify, um, so you can look.
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: You can search up intentions, ethereal love, zodiac, lust.
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: You're gonna see all my music on there.
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: Um, I hope you guys give a listen.
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna shout out to you, chris omelette, uh for for having me on this show.
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much for your time and for even considering interviewing me.
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: I want to shout out to all my friends and family because if it wasn't for all my close ones, I don't know where I'd be today Just all the support that I get.
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: And shout out to my kids, because they're really my motive.
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: Well freaking said, miss Ashley.
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: Well freaking said, excuse me, um.
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: Shout out to KO Studios.
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: Thank you for the lovely home.
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: Shout out to Raffy Bite.
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: Thank you for the lovely beat.
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: My man, and with that I'm Chris and I'm Ashley Abbott good, hey, thank you, and we out this bitch peace.