Latest / The Daily Sarcast / March 17th, 2026: Weather, McDonalds And Virgin Hot Toddy's

Transcript

March 17th, 2026: Weather, McDonalds And Virgin Hot Toddy's · The Daily Sarcast

• 0:00
  Today's episode is brought to you by the spin-around when you get off the subway
• 0:04
  to get your bearings. Sometimes it takes a few spins.
• 0:08
  Sean, thanks to you, we know what a true friend of Ukraine is.
• 0:12
  Zelensky on clearing up where Sean Penn was during the Oscars.
• 0:16
  Insert theme song here. This is the Daily Starcast. I give you the news and maybe a laugh.
• 0:21
  I'm Lindsay Varnick, and it's March 17, 2026. Happy St.
• 0:25
  Patrick's Day, and also my personal favorite day, Taco Tuesday.
• 0:30
  In real news, yesterday there was a powerful storm system that moved across
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  the eastern United States, bringing severe storms, travel disruptions,
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  and the threat of tornadoes from Florida all the way up to New Jersey.
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  At one point, more than 34 million people were under tornado watches,
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  with meteorologists warning that damaging winds and possible tornadoes were the biggest threats.
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  Cities including D.C., Baltimore, Richmond, and Raleigh were among the areas
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  facing the highest risk as the storms moved through. The weather also caused major travel problems.
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  More than 14,000 flights were delayed or canceled, and some airports temporarily
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  paused departures because of the dangerous conditions.
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  The same storms have already caused damage over the weekend across parts of
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  the South and Midwest, with winds over 60 miles per hour, tennis ball-sized
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  hail, and a reported tornado in Arkansas.
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  Meanwhile, while the East is dealing with all these storms, the West is experiencing
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  the exact opposite problem, extreme heat.
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  Tons of millions of people across California and the desert in the Southwest
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  are being warned to limit outdoor activity this week as a rare March heat wave
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  pushes temperatures towards record highs.
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  Cities like LA, San Francisco, and Phoenix could see temperatures in the 90s
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  and even triple digits, something meteorologists say is extremely unusual this early in the year.
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  Phoenix could even break the record for its earliest 100-degree day ever recorded.
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  Forecasters say this heat is being caused by a heat dome, which is a high-pressure
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  system trapping hot air over the
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  region and creating a long-lasting and potentially dangerous heat event.
• 2:08
  So for everybody in the East wishing they were in the West, and for everybody
• 2:12
  in the West wishing that they were in the East...
• 2:15
  You know what they say, the grass is always greener. A federal judge just blocked
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  several vaccine policy changes pushed by Health Secretary Robert F.
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  Kennedy Jr., saying the government basically ignored the science-based process
• 2:28
  that's required to set vaccine recommendations.
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  What? The ruling came from a federal court in Massachusetts after a major medical
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  group sued the government.
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  They argued the administration made sweeping changes to vaccine policy without
• 2:42
  proper scientific review. Again, what?
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  Some of these changes included restricting access to COVID vaccines for some
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  groups and cutting the routine childhood vaccine schedule from protection against 17 diseases down to 11.
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  The judge said those decisions didn't follow the normal process used by the
• 3:02
  Federal Vaccine Advisory Committee, which is supposed to carefully review evidence
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  before making recommendations.
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  So for now, all the changes that RFK tried to make are blocked,
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  and the previous vaccine schedule is back to regular programming.
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  This decision also freezes the work of a vaccine advisory panel that Kennedy
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  reshaped last year by firing the previous numbers and appointing new ones,
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  many of whom lack expertise in vaccines.
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  The Trump administration is expected to appeal the ruling, so this legal fight is far from over.
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  But at least for the moment, the court basically said national vaccine policy
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  can't just be rewritten based on feelings. It has to actually involve science.
• 3:46
  McDonald's just accidentally proved the internet's favorite marketing strategy, embarrassment.
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  The company's CEO posted a LinkedIn video announcing a new burger called The Big Arch.
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  In the video, he's sitting in what looks like a corporate break room,
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  politely tapping the burger box and saying, I love this product, it's so good.
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  Then comes the moment of truth, where he takes what can only be described as
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  the most polite bite of a burger ever recorded.
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  It wasn't even really a bite. It was like a nibble, maybe like a suggestion of a chewing.
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  Obviously, the internet immediately roasted him. There were reaction video spoofs
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  and even rival trains like Wendy's and Burger King's CEO jumping in to mock
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  it and recreate the video.
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  But here's the thing though. As much as we make fun of this video, it actually worked.
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  Because every parody, meme, and reaction video did exactly one thing.
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  It reminded people that mcdonald's has a new giant burger
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  in the old days companies spent millions blasting
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  ads on tv hoping people would notice now all
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  it takes is a slightly awkward ceo social media and the internet's natural instinct
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  to bully so yes the video went viral for all the wrong reasons but in the modern
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  attention economy even humiliation counts as marketing which means now mcdonald's is probably wondering.
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  Should we take a video of the CEO's first time walking into a McDonald's?
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  In Lindsay life, I've been sick this past week.
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  And I started going out again, but I'm not drinking. So a few nights ago,
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  I was at an Oscars watch party with my friends and I ordered a drink.
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  My new favorite drink while I'm sick is a hot toddy just without the alcohol
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  in it because with the spices and the cinnamon stick and all that.
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  So I order a hot toddy without the alcohol. And the waiter was like so dumbfounded.
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  He was like, wait, what do you mean? I was like, I just want a hot toddy without the alcohol.
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  And so he was like, so you just want a tea? And I was like, no,
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  I want a hot toddy with no alcohol, he says.
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  And I said, yes, no alcohol, hot toddy. And he shakes his head.
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  So then anyway, he ends up bringing over just a hot tea. So I guess you have
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  to drink alcohol in order to get a cinnamon stick.
• 6:02
  Lindsay Lessons, a lesson by Linz. If you are sick, you probably shouldn't go
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  out. Even if you are sick of being sick, you will only get more sick.
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  Cooking tip of the day. your steak is probably definitely done after 10 minutes
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  of cooking feedback comments questions and it's jewish boy looking for a date
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  email me at lindsey at the daily starcast.com thanks so much for listening happy
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  saint patrick's day and taco tuesday and i'll talk to you guys tomorrow.