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Caring For Your Body · Gay Men Going Deeper

• 0:01
  Speaker A: Hello everyone, and welcome to gay men going deeper. This is a podcast by the gay men's brotherhood where we talk about personal development, mental health and sexuality. Today we are your hosts. We have Matt Lancital. He is an intuitive life and spiritual coach and counselor focusing on healing and empowerment. And we also have Reno Johnston. He is a spiritual life, love and business coach. And I am Michael Diorio. I'm a life and wellness coach specializing in sexuality, relationships and self confidence. We each have our own private practice, but in this podcast we're sharing all of our best stuff. And today we are talking about caring for your body. The questions we'll be discussing today are what self care habits or practices do you swear by? What are some unconventional ways you care for your body? And what are some practical ways we can adopt a more body positive mindset? All right, so we're looking forward to getting into this one. Just a few reminders before we get in there. We'll be continuing this discussion in the last Thursday of the month in the gay men's Brotherhood Zoom hangout. This is where we give you guys a chance to share your own thoughts on the topics we discuss here. To join us, please go to the Facebook group Gay Men's Brotherhood and check out the events tab. Or if you're not on Facebook, that's okay. Make sure you get on our email list and we will send you the Zoom link the day of the event, or I think the day before the event, actually. And a reminder that this podcast and YouTube channel are listener and viewer supported. So if you enjoy what we're creating here, you can support us by making a donation using the link in the show notes. You can also subscribe to get early access to episodes on Apple Podcasts. All your support helps us to continue making content and supporting our community. So we thank you so, so much in advance. And if you'd like to accelerate your personal development journey, please check out our coaching collection. It includes our two courses, healing your shame and building better relationships, plus over 45 premium personal development coaching videos on topics around body positivity, relationships, self confidence and community. For more on that, head over to gay men. Going deeper.com dot all right, so let's get into it. A few episodes ago we talked about body shaming, and so today we're flipping the script and we're going to talk about how we care for our bodies. So it's a little bit different now. I do recommend you go back and listen to that episode if you haven't already, but a few threads that I want to take from that conversation and weave into this conversation are on the topic of body image, which, as we know in the gay community, we do tend to put a lot of focus on body image, about how we look, how we present ourselves, how we want others to perceive us. And for a lot of guys, that sense of self worth is very much tied into their bodies, which may not sound so bad, but if that's the only thing you're basing your worthiness on, then you're kind of setting yourself up for an unhealthy relationship with your body. And what's worse is you become a prisoner to other people's opinions, which, as we know, are very finicky, and it's very impossible to please everyone. Now, little caveat here. It's totally okay to feel a sense of pride in your body. I certainly do. I love that. But just remember, it's just one aspect of your being right. But today, we are going to be focusing on body. So that's where we're spending our time today. So let's talk about it. Our bodies are so, so much more than how they look. We focus so much about what they look like in the image we put out there. But if you think about it, it's just like, literally the surface. Your body is your home for your entire life. Your body is your home. It is your vessel. It is your earth suit. While we are here, this is what we got. It is a source of your energy and your vitality. So while we're mortal, while we are alive, it is the thing that we need to engage and interact with the world around us. I think of it as this exceptionally mind blowing organism. Not orgasm. I almost said orgasm there, guys. Exceptionally mind blowing organism of many complex systems, all working together for the one singular task of keeping you alive. That's it. Think about that. Think about that. It makes my head spin to think about all the things that are happening in my body right now that I'm not even aware of, that I'm not even thinking about, that. I'm not even conscious of my heart's beating, my lungs are breathing. They have been for the 40 plus years that I've been alive. Um, there are countless things happening in our. In your body right now that you don't even know that that are happening, that are keeping you alive and well and healthy. So, in that context, when we think about our bodies, I do this sometimes. And then I think of all the mind drama that happens when there's some smile lines or some wrinkles or my hair is thinning or. I don't like that. I've gained a few pounds and I'm like, really, though? Really? This, this is what we're going to be worrying about, like, these things when there's so, so much more going on beneath the surface. Literally beneath the surface. So I just think it's interesting. It's an interesting way to look at your body in that context, which we'll get more into today. So today's episode is about caring for your body. I want to give you guys some. I want to get your juices flowing by giving you three different aspects of what that could look like. And then I'm sure we'll have a lot more because I got some very smart co hosts with me today. So there's the obvious one, which is caring for it on the outside. So this could be exercising, stretching, skincare, routine, strength training. Great. There's also caring for it on the inside, which are things like noticing your diet, watching what you put into your body, hydrating, taking care of your immune system, getting proper sleep, doing breath work, some ideas. And then there's one that people don't often think about, but I love, which is the way you think about your body, which is kind of a mental, physical. Right. So the way you talk to your body. I'll be talking about that a bit later. Or the way you talk about your body. The way you talk to it and or about it. Very important. Are you shaming your body or. Or are you loving on it? Are you judging it or are you appreciating it? Okay? So these are just some of the ways we're going to be talking about caring for your body. And I hope that stimulated some ideas for us to get started. So before we jump in, just one quick thing. I want to say this again as a reminder for everyone out there. At the beginning here, your body is only one aspect of who you are, okay? It does not define you, does not determine your self worth. There are so much more to us than our bodies. But today is know we'll call body appreciation day. That's we're going to be talking about. Okay? So let's jump in. And today I'm going to start off with Reno, who just got a brand new snazzy haircut. And I'm going to ask, what self care habits or practices do you swear by?
• 6:40
  Speaker B: Well, it's interesting. Mine are so much more like they're kind of unrelated to the body, you know, in a way, which is, which was fascinating to me. Like, I go to meetings, you know, I spend time in nature. I connect to higher power. And there's also. I practice discernment in a big way when it comes to, like, who I engage with, what I engage with, you know, what I consume, what I don't consume. There's a lot of discernment. I think that's, like, major practice for me in terms of my body. And it includes food, it includes information, it includes relationship, it includes environments I spend time in. But I think one of the biggest things that I'm up to is some combination of fun, play, and enjoyment as a self care practice. I think that when I really sort of zoom out and look at what I'm up to day to day, I'm really welcoming, inviting, and engaging in fun, in play, and in enjoyment from how I lotion my body to how I have a shower, to how I make my meals and how I eat them to, you know, even taking a moment as I'm passing through the living room to, like, play on the pole a little bit on the way to the kitchen or something like that. Right. But it's really, I think one of the biggest things I'm actively practicing is enjoyment of the skin I'm in. Yeah, um, I'm gonna leave it there. I'm gonna leave it there.
• 8:43
  Speaker A: Do you think about your body when you're doing those things, or, or are you just doing them kind of in the body? Like, are you actively thinking I'm doing this for my body?
• 8:53
  Speaker B: In the beginning, I think it started out that way. I think it started out that way. And I say that because so much of the way that I used to engage in self care was like a means to an end. And also, I think some of the ways in which I was engaged in practices related to my body and engaged in relating to my body were like, they came from a place of lack. They came from a place of, like, I'm not enough, or I don't love myself and I need to be beggar I might, you know? And then they shifted, and my practices became a way that I loved myself. And so I started kind of infusing all of those activities and engaging in all of those activities with love, from love. And inevitably, it kind of became second nature. So, yeah, I'm thinking about it sometimes, but I think most of the time because, like, you know, discernment has become so ingrained in me, and this sort of practice of enjoyment has become so ingrained in me, it's like second nature, you know, kind of like if you meditate for maybe 21 days or a month or months at a time. At some point, you just kind of, your alarm clock goes off, you wake up, you hit the timer and you go, you know, you may not even need to use the timer anymore because it's just who you are, it's not what you do.
• 10:29
  Speaker A: Yeah. Awesome. Thanks, Reno.
• 10:32
  Speaker B: Thank you, Maddie.
• 10:35
  Speaker A: How about you, Maddie?
• 10:39
  Speaker C: You know, I spent most of my, I'd say teens and twenties in dissociation. So I was, I had, didn't really have a connection to my body. I was very cerebral. I'm an air sign, I'm very cerebral already. So it was quite easy for me to leave my body and just be in my head. So my relationship to my body for most of my life has been through my mind and how I think about my body. And a lot of my transformation in the last five years has been about developing a relationship to my body through my emotions, through my sensations, through understanding my needs, you know, and then add in. And this is probably why it's been so hard, actually, for me to do this, make this transformation, is because I have sensory processing sensitivity. So my nervous system is structured differently than other people's that are not sensitive. And I feel things in my body with great intensity. So all of my senses are more sensitive than somebody who's nothing, doesn't have sensory processing sensitivity. So I feel subtle shifts in my body very easily. I feel subtle moods in my body, sensations. Like, if there's a tag on the back of my shirt, like, it'll drive me mental. Like, I'll have to cut it off. And I was like this as a kid. My mom used to put me in wool sweaters without anything underneath, and I would just, like, lose my mind when I was a child. So with that being said, like, comfort and care for my body is so, so important to me. Like, almost to the point where I'm anal retentive about it, because I have to be. Um, I know what works for me and I know what doesn't work for me from so much trial and error. And, um, so my self care practices are very dear to me and, and I have a lot of quirky ones and, and things that I need in order to take care of myself. So, um, I think the two biggest things for me is when it comes to caring for my body, is listening to it and then taking that data and living intentionally. So to me, that means getting more still. My mind's very fast and my body's more slow, so I have to get more still and I have to listen, tune into my needs. And then I have to build my life intentionally in a way that is conducive to the things that are coming up. If I violate that, I end up with a dysregulated nervous system. And then that leads to me feeling emotionally dysregulated. It leads to me being irritable. It leads to me having mood issues, like, all sorts of things. Like, it's really, really interesting. Some of my quirks, some of the things that I would say self care habits or practices that I swear by. Um, one. One of the big things for me that I'm really, and I'm really meeting this now, but I think I was always like this. Even when I was younger, I was very sexual. And so feeling sexy, being sexy, playing with that erotic kind of eros or that, that sensual energy inside of me is really important. And I'm very visually stimulated that way. So I like to take selfies, like, you know, and share them with people that are, like, you know, that feel safe to me, that sort of thing. But it's even the process of taking selfies or things like that, it can feel really, and I don't even need to share them. It can be very arousing for me. So that's something that I can use to. To care for my body. Because caring for my body does mean exploring and embracing arousal. Cause that's a big one for me. So pleasure, like, pleasure is this, like, new thing for me right now. Like, I'm just, like, I'm meeting pleasure in a new way. Um, and I think that's because I've really, I'm not dissociating anymore. And when we dissociate, we're actually cutting the cord from being able to feel pleasure. Because pleasure happens in our body, right? And we're not connected to our body. Our pleasure receptors will be blunted. Right. We won't feel it as much. So that's a big one. The other one would be feeling my emotions. It's so huge for me because I don't like feeling my emotions. It's something I can easily bypass. Like, I can just go in, but then what ends up happening is I ruminate and I overthink. And I know when I'm ruminating and overthinking, I've bypassed emotions and I need to go back to the drawing board, and I need to be like, okay, what did I bypass here? Because ruminating and overthinking leads to me. It leads to insomnia. It leads to all sorts of things. And I. It's so, you know, that's the, that's the downside to dissociating for me, is that it leads to high, high mental activity. So feeling my emotions is one of the greatest acts of self care that I can possibly engage in. And again, that takes me slowing down and tuning in and being humble, and I meeting myself and doing the things that I think a lot of us tend to bypass. And then the other one is, I like to be touched and pampered. So I will, I allocate a certain amount of funds every month so I can go and engage in some sort of activities or treatment. So every Friday, usually I have either a massage or reflexology or acupuncture or Reiki or something. And so every Friday after works, I'm usually pretty wiped after we record these, and then I have some meetings, and then I usually go to my appointment, and it's the best way to kick off the weekend. So, um, that's one of my most favorite things. I love being pampered. Um, and then one of them that I have here is that I don't eat refined sugar or caffeine. Um, so because of my nervous system, if I have refined sugar or caffeine, it basically throws me into, like, a highly activated state. And I find that I don't sleep well. I grind my teeth, um, my nervous system, I feel like I'm vibrating, almost like when I, when I do have that. So I replace my sugar with things like maple syrup and date syrup and these sorts of things. So, um, and then the last one, I would say, would be my energetic body, because I think that is really important. Like, we have the physical body, we have the material kind of this realm, but our, our physical body is encased with our etherical body or auric body or, um, our chakras, like these sorts of things, our energetic field that for me, because of the type of work that I do, I do energetic work, that it's really important for me to care for that part of my body. So it's like no different than you having a shower at the end of the day, you clean your body. Like, I have to clean my energetic field because I'm working in the fields of other people and I'm very sensitive to my environment. Even in my complex building that I'm in, I can feel the energy of the people around me, people above me, people. So it's very interesting. Um, I can often feel when my neighbors are in conflict, um, there's a couple that lives right here, and I can feel the energy of them. So, um, I'm doing things like smudging and working with crystals and I have like, epsom salt baths and, um, I use Florida water, um, things like these. So just lots of different things that I've accumulated over the years of, of doing this, uh, this type of work. But yeah, I would say probably smudging with like, sage or Palo Santo would probably be my, my number one thing that I use to care for my, my energetic body. Yes.
• 18:09
  Speaker A: What about you?
• 18:10
  Speaker B: I just want to say, like, all of that is so gorgeous. Like, it. Everything you just said sounds so yummy and I, and I love the world you're in. And also I just want to, like, acknowledge you and recognize you for cultivating that world, you know, because I really empathize with what I perceive to be the part of you that, like, had to get there, like, to the place where you're doing all of this and that's really special. Yeah.
• 18:40
  Speaker C: Thank you. It's interesting that you say that because I used to feel a lot of shame around this. Like I'm boring or, you know, because even if I, like, date people or have friends, like, they'll be like, oh, like, come and let's do this thing or whatever. And I'm like, like, for example, like, go to a concert usually isn't really something that I would do. It throws me into, you know, my nervous system gets thrown off and those are so I've had to learn that I can't do certain things because of my nervous system, but I focused on the things I can do and the things that I can do really well. Like, I can tune into energetic grids and I can help heal, do healing work and these sorts of things because of the nervous system that I've been gifted. But yeah, I have. I've had to build my life through structure regimen and through restriction. And that in my twenties, that was really hard for me and I didn't listen to my nervous system. I just bypassed it and I did drugs and alcohol and parties and I'm probably undoing some of that damage that I did to my nervous system now, which is, you know, a lot of the work and the healing I'm doing is actually repairing my nervous system and learning how to befriend it. So thank you. I take your acknowledgement and recognition to heart. Yeah, feels good.
• 19:49
  Speaker A: Beautiful stuff, guys. Yeah, they're all like, the next question is about some of the unconventional ones. And I feel like those to me, at least from my, for my perspective, talking about what you have is not what I would consider the most conventional, but I love it. Um, so, you know, I guess mine are a lot more basic. There's the obvious ones, which I talk about all the time. Like, I try to get outside and walk. Um, very difficult to do in the winter here in Toronto, which is why I'm not going to be here for too much longer for the winter. Um, but also, like, just the simple things, like, you know, the stuff that we all know. But I think what's interesting is we all know, like, what the. What we have to do, like, eat well, exercise, drink water, get sleep at the end of the day. That's pretty much the basics. But there's so many times that I didn't do that. And I used to not do that. Not do that, even though I know that. But for those of you who watch the podcast, you know, this trusty thing is always full of water. Constantly, all day, every day. I've got water. Like, it makes me pee a lot. Fine.
• 20:47
  Speaker C: I.
• 20:48
  Speaker A: But it's always there. Um, I walk everywhere. Again, this is a bit of a blessing for being downtown. I don't. I don't have a car. I don't need a car. I walk and I bike. So kind of like what Rena was saying about how you don't really think about it. Like, I don't think I'm doing this for my body, but I've created a lifestyle such that it just is part of it. And I'm kind of doing it as a byproduct, which is really nice. I think that's the best way to do it. Um, but I have to say my favorite in terms of a self care practice is for all my gym bros out there. Physical fitness. You all know I love that you guys all know I enjoy the gym. I talk about all the time. And I'm going to shout out to all my gym bros listening right now because I know they are. Side note, for those of you that are, that do work out at my gym and see me, I love when you come and say hi to me. And I really don't mind because sometimes I'm like, I'm so sorry to bother you. I'm like, oh, no, no, it's okay. It's fine. It's because I have this very serious scowl when I'm working out, because I'm not. I'm in my own mind. Um, but anyway, guys have come up to me at the gym and, like, showed me their phone and be like, look, I'm listening to you right now, and it's just a bit of a mindfuck, but I love it. And so, for actually on this topic, these podcasts, little shout out to ourselves, are the perfect length for someone who's going on a nice walk, a nature walk, or even at the gym. Like, they're, they're a good length for that. So bring us to the gym with you. Okay. Anyway, off my little soapbox there. Now, if the gym isn't your thing, that's okay. I know there's like hundreds of ways that you could care for your body in like a fitness way that doesn't even require you to set foot in a gym, but I am just one of those people who, I actually genuinely like it. Like I used to not, I used to think I have to go, um, but I've talked about that before, I've kind of switched my mindset on that, but now I actually genuinely enjoy going, um, I love the feel of it, I love the sweat, the pump. That feel after, not to mention how you look after is always very nice too. Um, but it's not just about the aesthetic. I will say that, like obviously that is a wonderful byproduct that I love, but um, there's the release of the endorphins. Just feeling good of it, I tend to go with, sometimes I go at the end of the day after I've been stressed out. Yesterday was a great example. I had like a really stressful situation happen in like the middle of my day. And luckily I had uh, I had some time in the middle of the afternoon, I said, fuck it, I'm going to the gym. And guess what? I went, I like took out all my at that, that was like anger. Uh, and I took it to the gym and I let a lot out and I had a nice little sauna steam after, and I felt great after the fact. So, um, other than that, it promotes for me that sense of discipline. Like once, for me it is, it is truly a habit. Like it's something that I've built into my, uh, something I want to do, um, regularly. So it builds that self discipline, self trust. Um, some studies suggest that actually helps with neurogenesis, or neurogenesis and neuroplasticity. So, brain health, um, I've seen some studies, I don't know how, how much that has been proven, but I'm going to go with it. Uh, another benefit for sure for me is that I sleep so well after a good workout, and it doesn't have to be workout, I will say this, in the summertime, I cycle a lot. I kind of get my fitness from cycling. I have a bike, and I live in Toronto, which is a great biking city. Um, and so I bike a lot, often, and that also kind of does the same thing. It's just moving my body. Um, yeah. So I think that's my thing. That's. That's my thing. And I'm not saying that has to be your thing. There's a lot of people, like, I hate the gym. I hate Jim Bros. But, um, it just. It's something I happen to really enjoy, so that's my number one.
• 24:17
  Speaker B: You're such a. You're such a hottie, maggie. I. Okay, but I want to ask you something. When you went to the gym yesterday to blow off steam, what. What'd you listen to? I'm like, what was he listening to?
• 24:28
  Speaker C: And music.
• 24:29
  Speaker A: Yeah. It's either a podcast or music, but usually music, because it just gets. It just puts the energy in me. Like, it gets me going. Um, yeah, I was listening to music yesterday, and.
• 24:38
  Speaker B: What? Name one track.
• 24:40
  Speaker A: The new Ariana song. I don't know.
• 24:42
  Speaker B: Okay, cool. Yeah.
• 24:44
  Speaker A: Is it called. Yes.
• 24:45
  Speaker B: And it is. Yeah. Totally love it. Okay. I was like, what is in his ears? Um, yesterday.
• 24:51
  Speaker A: It could be anything, though. It could be disco. It could be musical theater. It could be, like, sad songs. It could be some, like, oldies. It really just. You'd be surprised how diverse that is.
• 25:04
  Speaker C: That's awesome.
• 25:06
  Speaker A: Let's talk about some of the unconventional ones, though. So, you know, obviously, we talked about diet, nutrition, exercise, sleep, hydration. Okay, cool. Like I said, I think you guys already got some of the unconventional ones, but I'm curious to know more. What are some unconventional ways, maybe that you care for your body? I want this to stimulate some ideas within our listeners and viewers.
• 25:24
  Speaker B: Yeah. Okay. So the first thing that comes up is, I coined it, and maybe this word exists, and, like, people are practicing it as such, but sensualism. So I'm a very, very sensual sensory person, right? Very tuned into, like, my capacity to hear and to smell and taste and to, like, touch, you know, and to see, like, and I indulge in it. So, you know, sensualism, to me, is the practice of really, like, really connecting to and indulging in one's sensual capacity. So, like, when I'm walking, I'll stop and smell the flowers, or sometimes when I'm passing bushes or trees, like, I'll actually, like, touch everything. The leaves, my environment. I'll run my fingers across the chain link fence, for example, when I'm passing by a fence, I'm really tuning into my environment and I'm really taking it in. I take time to savor smells. For example, when I'm peeling an orange, I, like, smell the, like the oils in the scents from the oranges as I'm peeling it. And even as I'm saying all of this, my body is just, like, so turned on. Like, my mouth is even starting to water because it's just so yummy. And I feel like, yeah, this. It just, like, this body is about utility and also, like, we get to enjoy it, you know? And here is all this, like, lovely stimuli, this delicious stimuli to, like, indulge in, you know, with. With moderation, of course, right? With balance. But that's one practice. The. The other is self appreciation, speaking love into the mirror and into the water that I drink every day. So, like, you know, I'll take time to look at myself in the mirror when I'm getting ready and, like, sometimes, like, I'll be like, you look really fucking hot today, you know? Yeah, like, damn. Like, look at your body today, or just I love you. Like, just, I love you, you know? And I'll speak that into my water. I'll speak that to myself. And sometimes if I'm around, people even say, like, you guys, I look really hot today, you know, and, like, I feel really good today. And if you've got great friends, they'll gas you up. They'll jump on that bandwagon with you and be like, yeah, actually you do. You look fly, you know, you're glowing. You're amazing. And then the third one I call sexy work. And, you know, Matt had kind of touched on this earlier, but, like, I really love the practice of, like, feeling and being sexy. So, you know, I'll dance in the living room, like, on the pole. Or sometimes I'll imagine that someone's sitting, like, there's a chair in the living room, and sometimes I'll imagine someone sitting in it and I'll give this imaginary person, like a lap dance in a show. You know, when I'm in my room and I'm putting my lotion on and I have music on and I'm, like, rubbing myself down in this really, like, sensual, sexual way. And it's just like, it's so yummy. And then I'm going to share something and it's not so edgy for me to share this, but I'm like, I'm going to say this. The other day, I got off to a picture of myself, so I was, like, laying in bed, pleasuring myself to a picture of myself naked. And it was really, really hot. I loved it. I was like, wow, okay. Like, this is fun. So, yeah, those are some of my unconventional ways of caring for my body. Yeah.
• 29:27
  Speaker C: What inspired the self pleasuring looking at yourself?
• 29:31
  Speaker B: I took a picture and I was laying in bed and I was, I don't know, I was thinking about, like, material to pleasure myself with. And then I saw my own picture and I was like, perfect. Here it is. Yeah.
• 30:00
  Speaker C: Good for you.
• 30:00
  Speaker A: Yeah, that's hilarious.
• 30:01
  Speaker B: That's great. And honestly, I'd do it again.
• 30:04
  Speaker C: Yeah, take a video because I've sex with, with, like, some of my partners and stuff gone into my archives and, you know, self pleasured from that. And it's like, super hot. Like, so hot.
• 30:18
  Speaker B: And to get turned on by yourself, like, that's so hot.
• 30:23
  Speaker C: Yeah. Good for you.
• 30:24
  Speaker B: Yeah. Thank you.
• 30:25
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 30:28
  Speaker A: I mean, that's pretty unconventional, I would say, for me.
• 30:31
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 30:33
  Speaker C: I don't think I've ever done that, but I've done it to videos of me.
• 30:38
  Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. That I've done to give it a try. For viewers out there, please go ahead and put us and put your own ideas in the comments section that I've read about now. Love to hear from that because I love. I love learning from other people. Like, this stimulates so many great ideas within me.
• 30:52
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 30:53
  Speaker A: How about you, man?
• 30:54
  Speaker C: Masturbating in the mirror? I have a mirror in my bedroom. That can be fun, too. Um, okay, so some of mine, um, they're definitely not as edgy as Reno's. Um, one thing that I love to do, like I said in my, in the last year, was an Epsom salt bath or a baking soda bath. So usually after my days, I love baths. They're just like one of the best things in the world. And so, like, two cups of epsom salts or two cups of baking soda with usually some lavender essential oil is really nice. Light some candles. It's just like one of the best ways for me to take care of my body. And I usually do that more in the winter than I do in the summer. Summers are usually too hot here to want a bath. But I love essential oils. There's something for me, and there are some oils that are very sensual. So I like that. Like to play with the sensuality. I love rose oil. It's one of the oils that I wear daily. It's hot. It's the highest vibrational oil that you can. That you can buy. It's. It's pretty, pretty beautiful. It's very expensive. Those who I think the one, the bottle I have is, like, only 5% rose oil. The rest joba job oil. But, yeah, it's very, very nice. I connect with the elements. I think that's one of the biggest ways for me. Again, it's, I'm an empath. I do empathic healing work, and mother nature empaths for me. So I spend usually my weekends in nature in some way, shape, or form. I do a lot of grounding, so I work with trees and rocks and rivers. I would say those are the three primary elements that I work with. And trees, probably the biggest one. So I love to touch trees, or I have plants all in my house, and I'll just kind of like, you know, love them and let them love me and things like that. So that's a big one. And cold plunging. So in the summers, I'm cold plunging all the time in the rivers around here. In the winters, I've actually done some winter cold plunging here, but I haven't lately. So what I'll do is at the end of my showers, I'll. I'll blast the cold. And that's just really good for my vagus nerve. So it's like, for people that maybe you do overthink or you do find yourself going into fight or flight, you're highly anxious, these sorts of things. Cold exposure therapy can be good for stimulating the vagus nerve, which basically starts here and runs throughout your whole body. And it's in charge of fight or flight and different sort of parasympathetic, sympathetic and sympathetic nervous system responses. So getting and developing a relationship with our vagus nerve can really be a game changer when it comes to emotions and understanding ourselves and these sorts of things on a somatic level. And then I work with a naturopath. So I've been vocal about this on this podcast. I'm not a pharmaceutical guy. I don't take pharmaceuticals, so I work with a naturopath, and I nurture my body through different sort of herbs and homeopathic remedies and these sorts of things. And so I love that. I love nurturing my body with things. So supplements is another way that I take care of my body. And then one other one that I put down here is food sensitivity testing, because I had and have a lot of food allergies, probably because of the sensory processing stuff. I just have a very sensitive body, you know? And so learning about those sensitivities has helped me tremendously to care for my body because I actually started seeing a naturopath because I was eating eggs. I was eating six eggs every day, three in the morning, and then three later in the evening for dinner. I was working out a ton, and I started to develop, like, canker sores all over my tongue. Like, at one point, I had 20 canker sores on my tongue, and it was the most painful thing. I could barely eat. And so I went to my naturopath. That's actually when I first started seeing a naturopath, and so she did food allergy testing, and I have a significant allergy to eggs, and I was eating them constantly. So within a week of me not eating eggs, my body started to heal. My mood actually got better because allergies can be really directly related to mood, things like that. And then the last one I put here is singing. Singing, for me, is, like, a beautiful way to connect with my body, because I'm much more in tune with my body, so I can actually feel my every diaphragm in my body and the way it's working and opening and closing with my voice and things like that. So I think singing has been one of the most powerful ways that I've learned how to work with my vagus nerve and work with my system and things like that. So I love singing. I'm always singing, and it's. It's a beautiful way for me to express what's going on in my body. Yeah.
• 35:51
  Speaker B: Awesome.
• 35:51
  Speaker C: What about you, Michael?
• 35:52
  Speaker A: Yeah, well, Reno took a lot of mine, so. Yeah, Reno, those were really good. It's very, very similar. Yeah, I want to repeat them, but I guess one other one, I guess, in the. In the mindset way, which I think has been my biggest shift, as I had said before. But this might not come as a surprise to you guys, but, like, I will literally talk to my body as if it is another being, even though, obviously, I am my body. But it really helps me differentiate that I have a relationship with it. When I think of it as another thing, I'm not dissociating, but, I mean, I think about it that way because it helps me. So I like to visualize this relationship with it, the way I talk, but we have fun. I talk to my body like I talk to my brain. I talk about that a lot on the podcast, too. Um, we have a lot of fun, and we're a bit spicy with each other, but more importantly, it's the way that I listen to it. So it's a two way communication. And this is the part that was, like, for 30 plus years of my life, I didn't know that my body was talking to me. I didn't know. I didn't care. And I was basically taking it for granted and exploiting the shit out of it. I wore it down. Luckily, I survived. So thank you, body, for that. Uh, but. But now we have a much better loving relationship where I listen to it. You know, they say, listen to your body. I get that. Like, before, that was just a saying that people said, but I'm like, oh, no, no, I get what that means. So, um, I know, like, I can feel nos and yeses in my body, if that makes sense. Like, if someone asks me to do something, my body will say, no, no, we're not doing that. Or, yeah, that's a yes for me. Right? So I kind of feel, like, expansiveness or contraction, but just listening to it in other ways, like, if I need sleep, if I need, you know, a great way, is, for example, if someone's like, okay, we're gonna go get another drink, do you want one? Body would be like, no, Michael, no, you don't, honey. And listening to that instead of just saying yes automatically or saying yes because I want. Or saying yes because everybody else is just listening to that. Or, like, when it's my bedtime, sometimes I go to bed at, like, 09:00 like, my body says, it's fine. We're just not going to argue. We're going to go. We're going to take a nap. That's that. So having more of that, I don't know if it's the most unconventional, but, like, again, for me, I understood that conceptually for a long time, but now it's very much more in practice. And I guess the last thing I'd add to Reno's, you guys both have actually talked about sex, which obviously we know I love. I'm very sexually active, but part of that is actually taking care of my sexual health. Right? Like, that is very, very important. I have. Have my family doctor, but then I have a very specific sexual health clinic that I go to for all my sexual health needs. In fact, I'm going tomorrow. Just. I get tested regularly. All of these good things. I think that's really important. If we're going to use our sexual organs, we got to take care of them, right? So I want to give a shout out to the prep clinic in Toronto. If you don't go, go. They're awesome. All right, let's jump into the next one. Let's talk about body positivity. So, first of all, we can talk about what that means to you, because I think it means a lot of different things to different people. But what are some ways that you can, some practical ways you can adopt a more body, positive mindset?
• 39:10
  Speaker B: So the first one I've got is it's slowing down, connecting and taking time to appreciate our bodies for the miracles they are and the joy and the pleasure and the utility that they offer. Because, like, what I've discovered is that what we, what we appreciate, what I appreciate appreciates, right? And so, you know, I've seen this magic happen. For example, when there was a plant and it was on its last legs, and something occurred to me, like, I don't know what it was, but I was on a mission to love this plant back to life. And I watched it go from being nearly dead to, like, thriving. It had, you know, grown big and green and it had sprouted a flower, and I just spoke love into it and wanted it every day and, like, sang to it and talked to it and. And, you know, we're no different than that. Our bodies are no different than that. And so again, I say what, what we appreciate appreciates. So adopting a mindset and an approach of appreciation for our body is really powerful. Joy, pleasure, and utility. Right. Like that, in my experience, that's what this is about. The second one is it's body parties, right? So, like, this is when we come together in celebration and appreciation of our bodies. And I'm going to shout out the body electric school, because, you know, they like the work that they do around body stuff is so powerful and inspiring, and it's centered around community. Right? And so I think doing this work alone, yes. But doing it together, my gosh, you know, and lastly, I would say discernment. So, like, filtering out what isn't in service to the relationship you wish to create or are creating with your body, and you may be stuck in a pattern and you may need to seek support to come to a place where this comes with ease, you know, this discernment comes with ease. And so seeking support is, it's a beautiful thing, it's a wise thing, it's a powerful thing, you know, to help you become more discerning, to help you develop a more loving, caring, and delicious relationship to your body, you know, because that's possible for every single person I stand in that. I stand in that, that it's possible for every single person to have that kind of relationship to their body, you know? And. Yeah. Mic drop.
• 42:01
  Speaker A: Beautiful. Beautiful.
• 42:03
  Speaker B: Yeah. What about you, Matt? What about you?
• 42:05
  Speaker C: Yeah, basically, I could just say I second what Reno says. Put my own spin on it. Yeah. The first thing I always say to clients when I'm working with them on moving from head to heart, mind to body, is slow down by 10%. It's hard to slow down any more than that. So that could look like walking a little slower, talking a little slower, eating a little slower, thinking a little slower, like, all these things, you just turn the dial down by 10%, and then what ends up happening is there's a little bit more space for the body to have a voice, right? And if we want to have a positive mindset with our body, then we have to have a relationship with our body. So we have to form that, and we form that by slowing down and by listening, right? And what will be spoken to us will be sensations. It'll be emotions, it'll be whispers. You know, it's like. It's very subtle. And when we listen to that and we start to acknowledge it, we start to connect, like, our needs, our desires, our boundaries, you know? And this is, like, big shit. Like, I can't emphasize it enough. It's so big. Right? And for my fellow ruminators out there, if you're. If you're a hardcore ruminator, then that. That's one of the clearest signs, that you're not feeling your emotions or you not. You're not connected to your body as much or maybe as you could be, right? And this isn't like, once we're connected, we're always connected. Our relationship with our body, we might be distant with it at some times. We might be closer. So it's like, you know, but for me, it's always a signpost. Whenever I'm ruminating, it's okay. I got to breathe. I got to connect in what's going on down here that I'm not wanting to be with right now. That's one of the biggest things. And then the last thing I'll say is, offer gratitude to your body for all of its functions. Like Michael said, off the top, it's so easy for us to become so highly critical of all these little things about how we look. And, you know, I have this little mole here. I have little bags under my eyes here, and all these things that we're, like, so critical about. It's like, can we take a moment? And I really honor that there's, like, trillions of cells inside of our body that are dividing and replicating and doing all these things. Like, our autonomic nervous system is taking care of us, and we don't have to do shit all like that is, that's so phenomenal and profound. And I just think that the more we can sit back and really, you know, offer thankfulness and appreciation for those things, then I think we start to develop more of a positive connection to our body.
• 44:35
  Speaker A: Yeah, totally. Well, yeah, you guys said it all. I underline, highlight, rewind and listen to all that again, guys. That's all really good. Yeah. A body positive mindset to me is about how you think and relate to your body, which we talked about today. Those are all amazing examples. What I had said earlier in my last year, I think is worth saying again, just really understanding that you have a relationship with your body. Prioritize it, think about it in that way. Like it is someone in your, like, family who you have a relationship with. How do you treat it? How do you talk to it? Uh, do you listen to it? Do you ignore it? All of these kinds of questions like, that has helped me and that's a really good way to do it. Um, Matt. Yeah. Like what you had just said exactly that. That really, I don't know when that revelation happened for me, but that really was like a turning point for me. It was like, wow, this thing that I have here is a gift, is a gift. It is a gift from whatever it is you want to believe up there. Universe, God, whatever. But like, that's how I see it. Like, I was gifted this and the way I treat it is my gift back.
• 45:42
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 45:43
  Speaker A: Yeah. And so that has been one of my biggest mindset shifts. And since then, I mean, that, don't get me wrong, I'm not, I'm not always treating it as such, but I do a much better job than I used to. And that's the point. Um, and I do see it as a home. I think at the top, at the top of the episode, I said that, like, I look at my home and I treat my, like, I keep my home relatively clean and tidy and I, you know, do things like that. This is my home for life. Like, I can't just like, take it and leave until I die. After that's done, then who knows? This home, this is gonna get somewhere, this is gonna be somewhere else. But for now, this is what I got. And so I gotta keep it that way. Um, yeah, like Matt had said, focus on the functionality and then of course, celebrating it. That's really important. So one more thing on this is with body positivity is have conversations like Matt Reno and I are having now, um, with people who either get it or who want to get it, or who will, as Reno says, gas you up. I think it's really important to have, like, these environmental factors where you're around people who want that same thing for you and for themselves.
• 46:48
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 46:49
  Speaker A: Anything else? Sorry?
• 46:52
  Speaker C: Pump your friends tires.
• 46:53
  Speaker A: That's right. Anything else you guys want to add before I wrap this up?
• 46:59
  Speaker B: No, just that yours is. Yeah. What you just said was amazing. The piece about it being a gift. I'm carrying that with me. A gift and a home. Thank you. That was like a mic drop moment for me.
• 47:11
  Speaker C: Yeah, I like that too.
• 47:13
  Speaker A: Perfect ending to the show then. Okay, guys, for our viewers and listeners out there, thank you for sticking with us for this awesome episode about caring for your body. Please subscribe to the channel. If you're watching us on YouTube, make sure you hit the bell. Notification to get notified when we have new episodes. They're released every Thursday. For those of you who are listening on a podcast provider, please, it would do us so much good if you could give us a rating, ideally five stars and comment. Give us a rating and a review on the episode. We really want to get these episodes into the eyes and ears of people who need it. One of the biggest comments we hear a lot is, I wish I found you sooner. So help us out. Share this share this episode if you're watching on YouTube, literally copy and paste the link and share with somebody. If you're on our Instagram, hit the share button. We really want to get into the eyes and ears of people who need us the most and who can resonate with us. So thank you for sticking with us and we will see you on the next episode. Bye.