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Change, Uncertainty, and How to Embrace It · RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Today's episode is produced by my friends at Walk West.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: If you're looking to grow your brand and generate leads through podcast or video production, head over to walkwest.com.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, let's start the show.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: From emotional intelligence through cognitive distortions, certified life and wellness coach Comedy Wood is on a mission to help people see the magnificence of their own unique human spirit.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Through these small bites of self-visualization and self-confidence, you can have healthy relationships, success in business and career, and live the life you want to live.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_01: Hi there, and welcome to another episode of Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_01: Whether it's morning, afternoon, or evening, I want to take just a minute here to say thank you to you because I know your time is valuable.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: And the the idea and the fact that you're taking some time out of your day to tune in to listen to some of my thoughts is just um, I'm really grateful for it.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: And I just I want to say thank you for that.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: So today I want to talk about embracing change and how we can cultivate resilience, because what I have learned through my coaching practice and working with individuals and also my own self, that when change happens, it can cause a lot of stress and anxiety because there is a sense that there's a sense of uncertainty and there's this loss of control.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: Because with change, it's something that is new and it's outside of our control, and and our brains are naturally wired to perceive uncertainty maybe as a mistake or uh an impending mistake, which again causes that stress and tension.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and it can often lead us because our brains are solution-making machines, it leads our brains down this path of trying to fix it or trying to come back to a place of safety.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_01: And oftentimes, known known things, familiarity equals safety in our minds.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_01: However, changes and life transitions, first of all, are inevitable.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: As a parent, we definitely see this with our kids, you know, they don't stay little forever.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and and sometimes we know that they're coming, we can prepare for it.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: So, like a big life transition, for instance, that we're preparing for uh sometimes is our kids going off to college or us potentially switching jobs.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_01: That's a known quantity, we're preparing for it or potentially retiring.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: However, sometimes we have change that is unknown to us, it happens without us being prepared for it, and that can lead us into this um place of again uncertainty, but feeling um nervous and scared, and really that's when resilience is so important to help us navigate through the change that has just occurred.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_01: Because again, when change is is not anticipated, that can be frightening, that can be scary.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: And so building our resilience is really important.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: And resilience, again, is the ability to you know bounce back, to come back from uh a challenging time.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: So um when we're talking about resilience, what we're talking about is just the ability, not that we don't, then not that we avoid change, but it's the ability to adapt to change.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, Sharon Merriam, who is a professor of adult education at Georgia, said that there are different types, there are four types of transitions in life.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: So there's the anticipated life transition, again, major milestones, as I mentioned, going to college, getting married, having a child, starting a new job, potentially retiring.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_01: The unanticipated life transitions, those are things that we didn't know were about to happen.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: So, for instance, unexpectedly having a loss of somebody in our lives or having a loss of a job, those are unexpected transitions.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um health issues that pop up.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_01: Those can also be uh unexpected.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: The non-event life transitions refer to the anticipated, anticipated changes that either do not materialize or don't occur.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_01: So uh for instance, a desired promotion at work, that's a non-event if we don't get the promotion.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: And then the fourth type is sleepover transitions, which are gradual changes that occur over time.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: This can involve both positive and negative.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: So, for example, a romantic relationship might experience a gradual drift over time.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_01: So instead of it being a catalyst moment that ends the relationship, just over time it starts to fizzle out.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: One thing that all life changes and transitions have in common, of course, is that there is going to be a similar array of feelings and experiences.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_01: And they really do change push us to adapt to the change.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: And even if we don't like the change, whether it's so even if it's wanted or unwanted, the possibilities of our growth are immense through change.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: You know, when we talk about the growth zone, or I'm sorry, the comfort zone versus the growth zone, the comfort zone is the known.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_01: That's where everything is familiar, and the growth zone is where that uncertainty happens.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_01: It's where we're expanding and we're learning, and that's what change offers us.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_01: It offers us the ability to grow and learn and expand.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_01: When we're talking about this, that's why resilience is so important because what helps us adapt to that change, what helps us adapt to being in that growth zone, being in that uncertainty is resilience.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: And so, how do we cultivate resilience?
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: Well, first of all, we need to mention that resilience can help us come to radical, radical acceptance, for instance.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: We can see things as they are without getting so attached and being set back.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: And instead of seeing change as a setback, we see it as an opportunity for growth.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: Resilience can help us manage and maintain our emotions, it can help us set realistic goals, resilience helps us recognize the right thing in a situation so we can be more optimistic, it can help us face the challenges.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's important to recognize how we can build our resiliency.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: One is to allow for the recognition that developing our growth mindset, paying attention to how we talk to ourselves about change, allowing ourselves to embrace this idea that stepping into the uncertainty allows for possibility, it allows for learning, it allows for growth.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_01: That is developing your growth mindset.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_01: That's actually a huge part of building resilience.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_01: Practicing self-compassion is another really powerful way to promote resilience and well-being.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: So, how do we do that?
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_01: We practice mindfulness, we observe the thoughts and the feelings and the emotions that are happening right here in this moment.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_01: We bring ourselves back to the present moment instead of ruminating over the past or worrying about the future.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: We pay attention to kindness over judgment.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_01: We lean on those that are safe people in our world.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_01: We we practice common humanity.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_01: Those are ways that we can practice self-compassion that can really build up our resiliency factor.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: Another way that we cultivate resilience is to have some flexibility.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_01: You know, when we're talking about flexibility, we're talking about psychological flexibility.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: Can we look at this differently?
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_01: Can we look at a challenge or situation from different angles?
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: Can we diffuse from a situation?
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: And what I mean by that is instead of being so attached to certain thoughts, can we step outside into observer mode and recognize that that's a thought that we're having, but we are not the thought itself.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: Being flexible allows you to be able to adapt and allows you some ability to shift and maneuver.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_01: With resiliency and building it, having a support network is definitely important.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_01: You know, as human beings, we are relational beings, so having the ability to lean on other people is really important.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_01: And if you don't have people, there is evidence that having pets, for instance, is another way to build that support network because there is a connection even with the pets in our lives.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: And then finally, another way to build resiliency is to continue to learn, continue to ask yourself questions, continue to set realistic goals, and then learn from the challenges that pop up.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_01: When we're able to build that resiliency, we're able to face change as it comes.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: Because the one constant is that nothing is constant, right?
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: There's always going to be slight changes.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: Even when we think everything is the same, eventually things start to shift and move.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_01: We shift and move on a daily basis.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_01: If you are facing frustrations with change or fear of uncertainty or anxiety around that, and you'd like to talk talk to me about how coaching could potentially support you in that or anything else that might be coming up for you, feel free to reach out at any time at coachwithcomedy.com.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: And until next time, stay well.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: For more information, book a chat with comedy at www.chatwithcomedy.com.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: Or visit her website at www.comedywood.com.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: You can also find comedy on Facebook or Instagram.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: Username it's authentic me.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening.