Latest / Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps / Phone Tap: All Disabled Parking

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Phone Tap: All Disabled Parking · Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: It's almost time for your prank call. It's Brooke and
• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Jeffrey in the morning. And today we go back to
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: the well, so to speak. Some of our favorite phone
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: taps of all time have been calling up senior citizens
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: to let them know. Change is about to happen in
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: their lives.
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: Oh, change. I remember back in my day, we didn't
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: have change.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: I hate change. Even if it's something extremely small or
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: totally inconsequential, they just can't handle it. We know their
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: triggers because their friends and family have set them up
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: for this, and that's why we call a lady who
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: frequents a grocery store, and we're going to push all
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: her buttons in your phone tap right now.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: Brooke and Jeffrey's phone taps on the 20s. Hello.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Dylan Gabriel. I'm calling from your neighborhood grocery store.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: Is this Beth?
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: Who is this and why are you calling?
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: I'm Dylan calling from the grocery store you go to.
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: Why would you be calling me?
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: That's a great question. Actually, I got your number through
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: your loyalty card and we wanted to let you know
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: that our parking lot is going to be under renovation.
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: Well, it's about time. It's been a mess for ages.
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: You can't park anywhere near to a door.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: Absolutely. That's why, starting on Monday, all 67 spots will
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: be marked for disabled parking. So we're pretty excited about that.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: You're going to take all of your parking spaces, every
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: single one of them?
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: Right, yeah.
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: Where is anyone else supposed to park?
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: You know what, that's a good point, and I do
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: hear you on that. I will let you know something, though.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: Two of the disabled parking spots will be EV-friendly.
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: That just doesn't make any sense. You've now gone all
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: the way to the opposite side of what you've had before,
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: and that didn't work, so why do you think the
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: opposite's going to work? You guys don't know where the
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: middle of the ground is.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: I do forget sometimes that older people, such as yourself,
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: have a hard time with change. Yeah. So I have
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: to keep that in mind.
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: It has nothing to do with change. That's such a
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: ridiculous attitude, which is why you made such a dumb
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: ass decision to start with. You're just making change for
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: the sake of change. Believe me, I've made plenty of
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: changes in my life. The next change I'd like to
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: do is to get rid of this call. Is that
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: okay with you? Because you're not making my day any better.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: I hear you and I will end this call shortly,
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: but there is another change I do need to inform
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: you about.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God. You just have nothing else to do today?
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: But this one I think you're really, really going to
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: be supportive of. It's very exciting. You know the 15
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: items or less checkout lane?
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: Spare me.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: That's a yes. You do know of it, then?
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: Of course I know it. Perfect. What? Get to the point.
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: So going forward, it's going to be moving down to
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: four items or less, and all of the rest will
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: be 40 items or more.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: Are you a complete moron? Have you actually done the math?
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: Do this. Subtract 4 from 40 and tell me what
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: you get. What do you get? I'm sure they taught
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: you that in school.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: I gotta open my laptop.
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: God help you.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: Okay, let me get my calculator app open. Sorry, what
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: were the numbers that you said?
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: How did you get this job anyway? Did your dad
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: own the store?
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: He's not my dad. And I just found that out
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: through 23andMe. Looks like we're all disappointed today.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: You have no idea.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: Anyway, sounds like we've got that resolved. So listen, I
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: just want to mention once again, we really do value
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: you as a customer.
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: Oh, I'm sure you do.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: Well, very much so. That's why just for you, I
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: can tell that there's a little bit of frustration that
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: you're feeling. I want to put in a word with
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: the cashier and I can tell him, You're one of
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: our more difficult patrons, and he will let you check
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: out in his lane, regardless of how many items you have.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: You're going to tell your people that I'm a difficult customer.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: They'll probably be able to read that themselves, but it's
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: good to give them a little, just, you know.
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: Goodbye.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: Oh, I'm sorry. Where are you going, Beth? I'm not finished.
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: I am.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: Well, I haven't told you about your daughter, Ada, setting
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: you up for this prank phone call.
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: What stupid stuff are you talking about now?
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no, your daughter Ada says that you two go
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: grocery shopping together a lot, and you've complained to the
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: store multiple times about parking and the grocery store lines.
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: And this is how you take care of it? I mean.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: It's kind of fun, right?
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: This is not my idea of enjoyment, humor, entertainment, or
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: anything else. It's a waste of my time. And if
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: you've got Ada involved in this, she probably didn't know
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: how foolish the whole thing was.
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: Well, she does listen to the show regularly, so she
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: kind of knows what it's about.
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: Well, I've always questioned her taste anyway.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: It sounds like you raised her well, and she fell
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: off the path somewhere.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: Children do what children do.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: Exactly. That's why we made all the parking spots for
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: disabled people. No children allowed.
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: Don't keep going down that path. It's worn out.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: Well, I do hope that you have a really spectacular day, Beth.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: I wish you a better one, too.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: Thank you. You're a real sweetheart. Has anyone told you that?
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: All the time.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, a very difficult sweetheart, but a sweetheart nonetheless.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: Have a wonderful one.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: I think you mean it.
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: I don't.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: Got it. Broken Jeffrey's phone taps on the 20s.