Latest / She's Next Level / 46: Understanding How Emotions Work To Live A Happier Life (Pt 2)
Transcript
- Darshna Patel: biggest thing that fucks people over with emotions is not feeling them because feeling them is fine, like. feeling them to me is a way of processing and it is also a way of acknowledging, of understanding, and coming from that place. But what goes wrong is that people aren't aware of this info. And so what they're doing is that they will feel them, but they will continue feeling them and continue dwelling in them for longer than they need to. Hello, everybody. Welcome back to the She's Next Level podcast. I'm your host, Starsh, and I help women live their most expansive life and look hotter, feel healthier, and be happier. So if that is something that you want to do, make sure that you stick around and subscribe because we release episodes every week. So today's episode is really pretty much a prerequisite episode. And what I mean by this, it is something that I'm working on very soon that I'll be releasing for you guys. And it's something along the lines of a Mini course. I really wanted to create a foundational mini course for you guys, especially for those of you that are new to my world or for those of you that have been listening to my podcast and want to dive into some of the core foundations that create the work that I do that help women, really get what they need to understand the higher frequency concepts better. For the women that work with me one on one, I often find myself repeating the same things. And so I was like, honestly, it would be better for me to just create a course for you guys so that when you guys come to work with me or in any other future programs or anything, you guys have a solid foundation and that you guys can start to create results in your life without having to invest thousands. This is definitely gonna be something that's a lot more accessible because. I definitely want to be able to give you guys exactly like the most deedo moving things that you need that truly make a big difference, regardless of if you ever decide to work with me And I will be updating you guys around when the course is going to be launching sometime in September. I haven't figured out the date yet. But I do have an essence of what I want it to be. And so it's going to be something that's like not like a super long program, but it's also going to be something that has like enough info in there for you for you to actually start creating changes in your life that feel good. Obviously, we're going to look hotter, healthier, and happier. So it's going to have everything to do with that. So today's episode, we're gonna dive into continuation of emotions. Emotional mastery has been a big life changing, game changing thing for me lately. And I've been just at it, working at it, and I've noticed how much more balanced and more at peace I feel because I've learned how to master my emotions. Where I'm not getting as triggered so much as I used to, where I'm able to neutralize and, you know, take level eight emotion, which is basically like emotionally heightened, super triggered down to an emotionally balanced state where I'm able to move forward and do what I need to do and not have my emotions get in the way of the things that I plan to do for the day. There's so many amazing things that happen. I mean, emotions are literally the way that we manifest and create our reality. So I do feel like Everyone needs to learn and know about emotions because that's what we came down here for. So today is a continuation on the first episode that I had created around understanding your emotions to live a more aligned and happier life. That was part one. Today's gonna be part two. But if you have not listened to part one, I highly suggest that you go back, you pause this episode and you go back and listening to part one because That creates the first layer of this foundation, which is all around controlling your emotions and learning how to do that with some of the tools that I shared in there. Obviously, we're gonna go deeper into the program and the mini course, but I want you to start with that because that will be always the first thing that you wanna do and when you're learning about emotional mastery is not to feel your emotions and not going down what everyone always talks about is like gotta feel your emotions and all that. That is not the first thing you want to do. The first thing you want to do is get in control of them so that you're not spiraling. Today we're going to talk about something that is way more deeper that I found a lot of women, including myself, struggling with. it's pretty normal for us women because, you know, as women, we are naturally intuitive and we feel like we feel things and we pick up on things and we are more emotional than men are. And so it is very, very important to Talk about this concept today around emotional wholeness and what that actually even means because this may be the first time that you probably heard about that. And for me, I remember when I first heard about emotional wholeness, I was like, what the fuck do you mean by that? Like I know I've heard around wholeness, detachment, all these words that are super popular on social media, but I was like, what does it even look like or mean or feel like to be emotionally whole? So that is what I want to give you guys today is that structure, that foundation, and to help you understand why emotions and feeling your emotions and having emotions is necessary and why it's not a bad thing, and how you can start to not only be more emotionally available and more open and have a more of an open heart because of that. But also how you can start attracting more emotionally available people that don't make you feel bad about your emotions or having emotional or being emotional. Because at the end of the day, and I always say this, you know, we're always creating our reality from the inside out. Everything's energy, everything is a reflection in our life of how we're treating ourselves and how we're being towards ourselves. That is always being reflected outward through our electromagnetic field, which is our EMF field in science, and that creates. All our thoughts, our beliefs, our emotions, everything that we feel from within is being reflected out externally. Before we get into what emotional wholeness really means, what it is, what it looks like, I wanna debunk something that is very known in social media, in society, often talked about. It's something that I also was diving into and I was also like taking that kind of advice until I realized what emotional wholeness and emotional mastery really is. And that is the idea of detachment and from what I understand from how it is being taught in the world, detachment essentially means to not care about what people think and not care about. you know, needing a man, not chasing all of those things and just having that black cat energy. And while to some extent that is true as far as, you know, not really caring about what other people think and living life for you, I have seen this oftentimes and including in myself, where I was acting like I don't care. But emotionally I did care. And it was hard to get a hold of my emotions. It was hard to manage and deal with my emotions because I'm hearing advice about being detached and just not caring and like being all about you and not chasing. But at the other end of the spectrum, I was actually struggling with that whole concept. It just felt like this like battle because I remember attracting a lot of emotionally available unavailable people, like in relationships, especially with men. I've I mean, all I've had is situationships, guys. Like I've never had a real relationship, which is so funny to me. and even friendships, like that's also super important for me in my life. And also with my parents, like I would act like I don't care, but I had to go through a lot of healing with that. And It was a full situation. So much better now. But I was basically attracting people that would make me feel bad about having emotions, about feeling the way that I was feeling, that weren't really validating me or making me feel seen and heard. And that is exactly what happens when you don't have that emotional wheness and you are acting like you don't care and detached. When you are avoiding feeling those quote unquote negative emotions. I know this came up a lot even in manifestation when I started learning about manifestation. And I was like, I can't have a negative thought like the law of attraction, bitch. You can't think negative thoughts to attract what the fuck you want. Bitch! I just had a whole moment. That is not. True at all. Like that is farther from the truth. Like there's a lot more to manifestation than what people think. And I just have to say that all of these things are basically lower frequency information Labeling emotions as right or wrong. And I think that's where a lot of people go wrong. And obviously, like we've been taught this way and like the way of living through society, through our parents, through systems. So it's not your fault, but I want you to start detaching from the idea of emotions being right or wrong. So yes, there are emotions that are lower frequency and higher frequency, and I prefer you. To start thinking about emotions in that way, of like there are lower frequency emotions that we feel, and they're totally okay because you know what? There's beauty in them. They get us to where we want to be, they help us learn more about ourselves. And I'll be getting into that in a bit. but there's also higher frequency emotions where they feel good. I mean, it feels good to be happy, Excited to feel loved to all of these feelings. and so the very first thing that I want people to understand is that let's get rid of labeling emotions as right or wrong. Let's just see emotions as what they are and get curious about them. The biggest thing that really has helped me in my life and the way of thinking is being curious. Being curious about why things are the way they are. why things work the way that they do, why things happen, that has helped me grow so much. And I want you to start embodying and adopting that kind of mindset of getting curious about your emotions and not labeling them as good or bad, but what what it is. And this is why it's so important to feel your emotions and not to ignore them and set them to the side because they are just gonna get louder and louder until you address what is the emotional root cause. So I know I see a lot of people often think that they handle and address emotions by feeling them, by recognizing like if it's anger, then like they're going into it with some somatic thing and like they're getting it out of their system somehow. but it's deeper than anger, bitch. Like you think that you're angry, but until you start to get curious as to why am I angry though, like actually digging down and sitting with yourself and getting real with yourself around those emotions that you're feeling helps you understand yourself better and it helps you get to the root of what created the whole situation in the first place. What emotion? Because there's just thousands and thousands of emotions out there that we just don't have like the mental capacity to understand. There is a lot more brain and body science when it comes to emotions. And I'm not gonna get into all of that nitty-gritty in here because I do want you guys to just understand this in the most easiest and simple way possible. But the biggest thing that fucks people over with emotions is not feeling them because feeling them is fine, like. feeling them to me is a way of processing and it is also a way of acknowledging, of understanding, and coming from that place. But what goes wrong is that people aren't aware of this info. And so what they're doing is that they will feel them, but they will continue feeling them and continue dwelling in them for longer than they need to. And that's what creates that stronger neuropathway that is in your brain that like keeps firing, keeps triggering the same memory, keeps having you be in that emotionally dominant state of whatever emotion that you're in. And then that makes it harder for you to then get out of that emotional state of being. And the thing is is that emotions is literally how we manifest and create our reality. So if you find yourself continuously dwelling on the emotion that you're feeling Then you're gonna keep creating that same type of like, things just don't feel like they work out for me, or I'm not feeling good enough here. I don't feel smart enough, or like whatever it is emotionally that you feel, that is gonna continue playing on until you understand that yes, we need to get in control of it and we do need to acknowledge it. And I have a whole process that I go through with my clients of getting down to the emotion of what is actually going on. Because once you get it, your body understands it, you've acknowledged it, and you release it. And there's a whole process to releasing them as well. There's a lot of different tools that I'll definitely go into the mini course. But what I want you guys to understand for now is that. our emotions are constantly giving us feedback. And that's all the purpose of emotions are to give us feedback around where we're out of alignment with our true core authentic self, our authentic self that is not programmed by society, that is not influenced in any way, our true core self. And when we are out of alignment with our true core authentic self, that's when emotions come up so that we can get back into alignment. When you start to understand this concept. It literally sets you free because then you make emotions not mean anything about you. You're not labeling things as good as bad. You're literally just seeing it in pure acceptance, in what it truly is. And that's what wholeness truly is, and being emotionally whole really is. Like what it looks like is being able to. Feel a negative emotion, let's just say it's feeling jealousy and getting curious about that emotion of like, wait, why am I feeling jealous? Like, why am I feeling like jealous about this person that has all the success? And I'm here feeling jealous because I feel like that should be me. Well, how is that amazing that you're receiving that feedback? Because at the end of the day, you cannot perceive anything that isn't true for you because you're always creating your own reality. It is literally science. You guys can look it up. I'm not gonna go detailed into that, but it's literally metaphysical science So even if you're feeling jealous and you're feeling like they have something that you don't, right? Being in that lax state, that is perfect. A lot of us are not seeing the perfection in the way that we're feeling. And we're seeing it as a negative thing about us, like a negative quality or trait. When that is further from the truth, honestly, being jealous is a great thing. If you were to see it in that way and see The blessing in feeling jealous because being jealous actually makes you go after the thing that you actually want to do instead of settling. Being jealous helps you wake your ass up to realizing your own value and not putting people up on a pedestal like most people do. And I know I did for so long. And be able to come back home to yourself into that honest state. being jealous is a great thing because it shows that you care. So there's a lot of great things that come from that emotion. And so I want you guys to start seeing your emotions in that way. Of anytime you have a negative emotion, emotional wholeness is all about seeing the positives of that emotion, really balancing out your perception. Because at the end of the day, everything is in balance. There's equal amount of positives, equal amount of negatives in this universe and to everything that we create in our lives. Like there's light, there's dark, there's up and down. That's literally like a universal law. So that is a big way to start feeling more emotionally whole, allowing yourself to be okay with the emotions that you're feeling, regardless of what society says. Like I have literally allowed myself to cry at a cafe where there's people around me and not caring about what people are thinking. Like I have allowed myself to feel my emotions that if I need to release them, be able to do so, obviously in a healthy way. If I need to remove myself from a situation, I do that. I give myself what I need. If I ever like end up yelling at somebody and end up being a bitch to them, I'm okay with that because I see the perfection of the benefit from having that happen, where I'm giving somebody their own reflection of their own thing that they're probably, you know, needing that up level, that upgrade. I always see emotions as an upgrade to my life. And It's literally about training your brain to start seeing emotions in that way. And when you do, you start to use emotions to your advantage and you start to alchemize them in rapid time. I mean, I've been able to just shift my emotions from feeling like shit to feeling good again and being able to be in that process and understand things at a deeper level, understand myself on a deeper level has been amazing. So to me, emotional wholeness truly means acceptance. It means peace. It means being able to see your emotions as a fucking upgrade. Like being able to give yourself that permission to understand yourself better because that's what all emotions are. They're giving you feedback and I think the biggest game changer for me has been able to balance out my perception and see the neutrality in having a certain emotion or feeling a certain way and allowing myself to dissolve my fears in that way. Like if I feel a certain way and I am scared of something that's gonna happen because I feel a certain way, then I get to that emotionally balanced state by seeing the positives, seeing the negatives, dissolving the fear of like, what am I afraid is gonna happen? Okay, well, how is that? Perfect. Like, what is the game plan? Do I have in case that happens? Like giving myself that reassurance has really helped me get my emotions down to a neutral balanced place because also being emotionally whole is gonna help you access your intuition better too. It's going to help you hear that inside voice, that intuition where you don't need to have it all figured out, babe. Like You don't need to try to hustle and figure things out on your own of what what should I do next or where should I go? Should I quit that job or whatever? Your intuition is your BFF, bitch. Like use that shit that has been given to you as a gift. And even if you've never heard of intuition before or you've never used it, like it's always been there. We're just never aware of how it's being played out in our lives and how we're using it. But it is always there. And I have learned in my journey that whenever I'm emotional, my job is to get my emotions down, to decode what am I feeling and to shift that emotion around into seeing the positives of it and feeling the opposite emotion of it. Because at the end of the day, like that is exactly what emotions are doing is that they're giving us feedback and then we have the opportunity to. Get out of that emotional state by shifting to the opposite of that state and then shifting our state overall and helping us become more of that person that we want to become. And when I'm able to do that and get myself to that emotionally balanced, neutral place, I'm able to access my intuition better and access better information for myself, more accurate information for myself that I need to get to where I want to be. So it's all a full circle. I will say, like having intuition and whether you've trained it or not or wherever you're at with it, trusting it more and then having emotional mastery is literally going to get you where you need to be. Like you don't need anything else. I mean, yes, there's things that always helps us, but just having these two tools and honing in on these two things is really gonna get you farther in life than most people ever will. So I'm gonna wrap this up because I I feel like we've been talking for quite a while. But I just want to recap. On the things that I talked about today is, you know, emotional honest is really allowing yourself and giving yourself permission to feel your emotions but not dwell in them. and the way you're not gonna dwell in them is by getting curious about them and seeing your emotions, if this helps from a third person perspective, of like, this person is feeling this way. I wonder why. What caused them to feel this way? Why are they feeling this way? Why is it so important? Why are they specifically feeling this way when in a perfect world other people may not be feeling that way? It's getting deeper into why you're feeling the certain emotion that you're feeling and to understand yourself better, but not dwelling in that emotion. So, like that's why in the first episode that I created for you guys, like getting control is super, super key. And then decoding what your emotion is is like the next step. And seeing the perfection and neutralizing that balance of your perception of what that emotion is by not labeling it, but instead by seeing how it's perfect, why it was perfect that you felt that emotion. And if it was an interaction with somebody where you behaved a certain way that you felt guilty about, like why was that perfect? Because the more you start to give yourself permission. To see your emotions as perfect, to see how they are giving you life upgrades and they are advancing you to where you want to be, to the person that you want to become. And they are necessary for you to live your most authentic life. Cause at the end of the day, I feel like everybody just wants to be their authentic selves, but a lot of us are programmed, a lot of us are doing things. That we don't realize that is from other people's shit, not even our own. So, this is what's gonna help you get to that neutral place so that you're not just making decisions from an emotional place. And most people don't even realize they are being emotional, like emotionally manipulated. They don't know that until they really start to do this work. And I can literally tell, like I can tell from the feeling of my body, and I can tell. From the way that I'm feeling, if I'm being influenced versus like me being in that grounded place. And that's exactly where you want to be, that oness place of like being in the energy of having versus that energy of lack. So when you're in that energy of having, you're in that energy of like, yeah, I'm good. And I'm accepting and I'm at peace with everything in the way that it is. And anything that I decide to do is because I want to do it's from that place of alignment. So essentially with emotional honest, this is going to be key. To getting you guys to where you want to be in the life that you want to create. Because I know we have a lot of ambitious people here, bitch. If you are listening to my podcast, you're definitely not a settler and you definitely want to create some awesome, amazing things and live your best life. So this is gonna be so, so, so key. And something else that I feel like I got from a book or from somewhere that really helped me open up my perspective around emotions was that this idea of like, you're not going to feel Happiness in the way that you desire to feel happiness if you don't allow yourself to feel sadness. And this goes into the concept of the law of balance of like knowing that there's an equal amount of positives and negatives in the world for every single thing. Like there's light and then there's also dark, there's up and down, yin and yang. And this really helps you appreciate things more in life, at least it has for me, of me knowing that like I have felt sad in my life. And so me feeling that way also makes me appreciate me feeling happy when I am and being more in that present moment. And then releasing your emotions is like a whole nother thing. And we will be getting more into that in the program. I do want to give you guys like a certain foundation and a solid understanding around emotions and give you the things that are the most important because I think there's just so many things out there that aren't The most important things to focus on. And I really like to like simplify things in a way where it's easy to implement, but also makes the most amount of impact and transformation. And so a lot of that will be in the mini program around releasing your emotions, around how to decode your emotions accurately, around how to get more in control of your emotions, like a lot more tools to help you with that. So super, super excited, guys. This is like my first creation. And I'm just so excited like to be able to. you know, learn all the things that I've learned that have really made a big difference in my life and be able to share them with you guys. And like for me, it's just become so natural where I'm like, yeah, like this is normal. But the more I'm out in the world and I'm talking to people out there, like, the more I realize that people need this because not a lot of people are learning this stuff and they don't have the awareness for it. So I want you guys to start practicing some of the things that I talked about to really help you get into that mindset. So that's what we have for today. The other episode that I mentioned will be in the description box below. So you guys can listen to that and access that one. And if you are interested in booking a one-on-one intuitive session with me, the link will also be in the description. I help women with any physical situation that they have going on in their bodies. So if that's something that you want help with and get down to the emotional root cause and then also get the physical tools that you need, then I got you, girl. And there will be more prerequisite episodes coming up for you guys. So I'm super excited to get this out there so that you guys are aware of what's to come. And I will catch you guys in the next episode. Bye. Thank you for tuning in. If you enjoyed listening to this episode, be sure to share it with a friend and also leave us a review whether on Apple or Spotify. Your help means a lot and it really makes a big difference in helping this podcast get out there in the hands of more women like us and growing the community. If you have any podcast requests, things that you want me to talk about, then be sure to either DM me on Instagram. My Instagram is Darsh Vibes, D-A-R-S-H-V-I-B-E-S-S, or send us an email. The link is gonna be in the description box below as well. I'll see you in the next one.