Latest / From Sad Pick Me Girl to Alchemist / Episode 22 - Stop Looking for Love to Make You Happy
Transcript
- Denise: Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of From Sad Pick Me Girl to Alchemist. Today I'm so excited to have Giovanna here. She is a self worth and confidence coach. I will let her touch a little bit more on what she does, but I always like to introduce why the connection was made and how it ties into the general theme of this podcast, which is self love and living in alignment. So we are both actively working and stepping into our purpose as coaches, guides. whatever you want to call it. I'm still TBD on what I want to call myself, but I know very much that I want to help people find their path in love and life and really just living a fulfilled life, whatever that looks like for each individual, it's going to differ. so we are both on that endeavor and we connected through someone that we work with in a similar capacity. So she has been super great at cheering me on and helping me to continue to be vi become visible, especially when it's very difficult and A lot of the posts that I've posted are controversial that I didn't realize were controversial and she's been a source of support and on that end and I'm all about women empowering women. So with that I will let you take the wheel and talk a little bit about what you do and what you'd like to share about how you got here. Geovana: Yes. Hi Denise. Thank you for having me. Denise: Hi. Yeah, of course. Geovana: so essentially my journey it started on Instagram. So right now that's a platform where I'm starting my brand with self-worth and confidence. And I think I like I'm still like switching like names of like what I wanna be known for, what kind of coaching I wanna do, but that's where I'm at right now. But I think it's also connected to relationships and dating and divorce. But yeah, like for now I think that's where I'm at. And it all started from my personal journey of going through divorce and then trying the dating apps and then getting accidentally putting myself in situationships with men and then I Denise: Yeah. Geovana: was like you know what I need to stop and rebuild my confidence and that's how it it all started for me. Denise: Yeah, and did you feel a tug to do something different while you were married or d was it post divorce really that ignited that? Geovana: No, it was definitely post divorce, like 'cause I still have my corporate job, right? Like I'm I'm a dietitian, Denise: Okay. Yeah. Geovana: I work in weight loss counseling. But it wasn't Denise: Mm. Geovana: until this well, technically like after divorce, I think that changes you and and that's when you start to question like what am I doing with my life? And suddenly like the things that were part of your routine it's like, well this doesn't have to be that way. Like maybe maybe I can change my life completely, you know, not to escape the old life, but also Denise: Mm-hmm. Geovana: in a way to be like, okay, like I just feel like I've outgrown that part of me. But yeah, it all started after divorce and with the coaching, I would say it started this year, that I really wanted to explore something different because my corporate job just didn't feel aligned anymore. Denise: Yeah. And we're in the same position when it comes to that and we've talked about it how sometimes you outgrow things and you feel this pool. For me it started before divorce, but I think something like divorce really shifts your mindset and makes you clearer because I thought it was fitness and now I realize it's so much more than fitness. That's a very small umbrella of how I want to help people. I think mind, body, soul. But tying it back to what you said, I want to touch on divorce because that's a topic. As you know, I posted a post basically saying that I was proud of being an independent woman post divorce and it got a lot of scrutiny. People were saying that I was celebrating divorce and I'm not. What I want to celebrate is us always choosing ourselves and not staying in toxic dynamics because we're afraid of that stigma. And no matter what, people are going to have something to say. But I think when we're strong women and more independent the people that are against that show their colors so quickly. So I wanna have you touch on your experience and how you managed divorce and navigated it because it's such a life altering thing. it shifts your world upside down and it really changes things, even if we're the ones who initiate it. It doesn't matter. So yeah, if Geovana: Yeah. Denise: you could just share a little bit about your experience, that'd be amazing. Geovana: Yeah, I think this year I don't know how I came across this information but I think divorce is the second most traumatic event someone can go through, And the first one is death of a loved one and then divorce, Denise: Mm-hmm. Geovana: I didn't do like a research, I didn't pull these numbers from an article, but it was just common research on Google. Denise: Yeah. Yeah. Geovana: but just I guess just to backtrack to celebrate divorce. It's so funny that that you say that because like I support that too. I don't celebrate getting divorce but this year was the second year I've been divorced for two years now so it was my divorce anniversary and I actually I actually I was actually trying to throw Denise: happy happy Independence Day. Geovana: a party with my friends but because I moved to a new city this year like the few friends that I have in this city like we haven't connected because I was in Dallas for almost eight years. So the friends that I have here in San Antonio we haven't connected enough to kind of rebuild that bond. But I own I only ended up going out with one friend and we went out for dinner to celebrate my divorce anniversary. But for me, it wasn't celebrating the divorce, yeah, we broke up. It was like celebrating all the lessons that came after that and all and the transformation and the woman up becoming that for me, that's what I was celebrating. Denise: Yeah. Geovana: so yeah, that was this year, in June. But to touch back on divorce, I think for me what was the most difficult part it was that I didn't initiate it even though I was the one who left. I left my ex-husband. when I left it was never my intention to get divorced. the mindset that I was in it was like there's something in this relationship that is not working and I need Denise: Mm-hmm. Geovana: to step out. I needed to look at my marriage from the outside because Denise: Right. Geovana: when I was in it I was like I know that I'm only looking at things a certain way because I'm inside this bubble and I was like Denise: Mm-hmm. Geovana: I wanted to get out of that bubble and then maybe you can call me avoidant or whatever but at the time yeah I had no idea about mental health or relationship dynamics, childhood trauma. I had no clue. So of course my first in it was like an instinct response, like my flight or flight response. So I I flew. I had to get out because during my marriage there were there were times where my husband my ex husband he there were anger issues. So I was like I just need to know that I need to look at this from the outside. And When I left, I think two or three weeks after that, he reached out and he was like, Well, just let me know when So we can talk about the divorce and it shocked me 'cause it was a text message and I was eating dinner at a restaurant and it shocked me 'cause I was divorce? I was like, Who talked about divorce? So technically Denise: Mm. Right. Geovana: he initiated divorce, but when I left he took that he took me leaving as, yeah, like we're done, right? 'Cause I got in my own apartment. And Denise: Mm. Geovana: and I was like, no, but again I was also confused I didn't know what I wanted. I knew I needed distance and space, but Denise: Yeah. Geovana: I never asked for like, hey, like I need some distance, I need some space, like I was never clear either. So he Denise: Right. Geovana: asked for divorce and I guess I as I assumed, I was I accepted. I was like, okay, 'cause he said, Well I'm always gonna be afraid that you're gonna leave me again. I was like, fair enough. So I accepted to the divorce and we were separated for six months and then we got divorced. Denise: And since then, how was it navigating? Did you take some time? Because for me, I'm always curious of how it works because I think that there are two ways that deal with it. You either sit with it and you process, or you try to numb and you start hopping and repeating cycles. And I know I went immediately into I'm gonna find my person, I'm gonna find my soulmate. This was not my soulmate, I made a mistake, and I Geovana: Yeah. Denise: As we know that ended in me realizing that I was part of the problem. And so it takes a lot to learn that though and it Geovana: Exactly, Denise: to accept that. And so How did you handle it post divorce? I'm so curious, especially because for me, I am very much an anxiously attached person. So to step away would I would just suffocate the person until eventually it doesn't work. So either way, it's not healthy. There's a middle ground, right? But I'm not saying that you didn't handle it in a way that wasn't good because it sounds like you did the best you could with what you had and that might I Geovana: that time, yeah. Denise: Yeah, and I truly believe what's meant for you will find you. So that goes to show that you chose what you felt was the best way to handle and then things fell through so it wasn't for you. I believe that that's how things play out. So yeah, if you can touch on how you handled post divorce and the yeah, the culture I guess it's really Geovana: my god, yeah. So Denise: is a culture shock to me it was at least Yeah, because I would I will Yeah, exactly. I'm like, Whoa, what is this? I Geovana: The divorce? Like welcome to the world. Where have I been? Denise: Yeah, this was not what I thought it was. Geovana: Yeah, I mean it was obviously a cultural shock because all, like again like I said, like I never left with the intention to get divorced. Like it was it never crossed my mind. So Denise: Yeah. Geovana: then like yeah, we were separated for six months, but in those six months it was never like we're working things out. It was just like no, like we're getting ready for divorce. So yeah, Denise: Yeah. Geovana: like we didn't really try. And there was a point where my ex husband I think like he I think we met once. I think we went on a date, but for him, I think it was a date. For me, it was just yeah, we're just watching a movie at the movie theater. So but no one was neither of us were clear. Again, and and that's where I can highlight that both of us had communication problems. Like at the end of the day, Denise: Yeah. Geovana: it's like you don't know how to communicate what you want, how to express your needs. So yeah, I take responsibility of my part, not knowing how to communicate, shrinking myself. just repeating my patterns dynamics, the silence treatment. it's you know what, looking back, I know, I I own my part and I will never grill him on his part, you know what? He had his issues and it's more like, Well I had my issues too. So when I after divorce, my god, looking back, I definitely jumped into dating way earlier than I was 'cause in my mind I was like I'm happy, I can be happy and I can meet new people. 'cause I thought I had moved on. I I thought I did. Denise: Yeah. Geovana: I was like, I'm sad but I moved on. But then Denise: Mm. Yeah. Geovana: I hadn't moved on. I realized that I had so much love for for my ex husband but I was just giving it away. And I I hadn't processed the ending until Denise: Yeah. Geovana: I guess I would say last year is when like I was like, you know what? Some like my love life is not working out. definitely Denise: Yeah. Geovana: I need to stop because I I noticed that the last person I met, he ghosted me. He ghosted me he ghosted me. Like Yeah, like we like nothing ever happened. It was just like we've been on Denise: I mean I love how you laugh about it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Geovana: dates and he ghosted me. But at this point, I felt I had met enough emotionally unavailable men that that one I was like, yeah, he ghosted me, no big deal. But I noticed that whenever it wouldn't work out with someone, trying to meet someone on a first date, second date, I noticed that my brain would immediately go back to well things were better with my ex husband, I should have stayed, and then that's when I noticed I was you know what? There's something here that I haven't processed, obviously. And even a long time already 'cause we got divorced in twenty twenty four and last year was twenty twenty five. I was like I haven't processed something here. So I need to take a step back and like pay attention. And that's when I started therapy and that's when I really processed the last part of it. Which for me the last stage was depression. Because you know you go through grief. But when Denise: Yeah. Yeah. Geovana: I was grieving my marriage, I also didn't have a word for this. I didn't know what grief was. Denise: Mm Geovana: I never experienced Denise: mm. Geovana: grief in life. So I didn't know I was going through the denial, what's the other one? Bargaining, negotiation, like Denise: Yeah. Anger there's like a whole cycle. I don't remember the cycles, but they're yeah. Geovana: cycle and but I when I was going through that cycle I was not aware. I was going through it because no one explained grief to me and I don't Denise: Yeah. Right. Geovana: even know how I came to this realization like wow like it's grief. And Denise: Yeah. Geovana: you jump from one stage to the other. You don't go from like denial like no like Denise: Mm. Yeah. Geovana: you you jump from one to the other from one day to the next. Denise: Yeah. Geovana: And even though like there were so many tears, like I cried so much. I cried so much till last year. But the last part I felt really sad. And I understood that it was just it was this heaviness of not knowing how to take care of myself. yes knowing. Like I of course I know how to take care of myself, I'm independent, right? But it felt so heavy. Denise: Right. Geovana: And that heaviness, that heaviness was the thing that I had to process in therapy. Denise: Yeah. And it was not conscious, right? And I always say make the unconscious conscious so that you can heal it. And I think that's a lot of what we're doing in our society, and I'd love to get your take on it. For finding love, I think so many of us, women especially, but I'm also finding that men go through it in a different way, is that we're so focused on finding our person that we Do the opposite and we end up attracting and I laugh because I've done it so many times where it's Geovana: Yeah. Denise: like you do you have the opposite effect when that is your main objective in life. And I think that's why we're doing ourselves such a service and I want to inspire others to do so as well, is to find your purpose in life because we all have a purpose here and it's not finding a partner, but when you fully step into that purpose, you attract not just partners, you attract better when I say better, what I really mean is more aligned people, people that vibe at the same frequency as you just in the same way that everyone I have on this podcast you and I when we connect it's as if I know you and you're my friend and I just was like or you know and it's it's so great Geovana: No. Denise: and there's no awkwardness and so that's what it is when you really are your Your highest self is what I wanna say. Yeah, and that is how you get that love. And that's why people aren't finding that. So they're in these cycles and they're telling themselves that it's okay to negotiate and it's okay to water down. And I it's a lifelong journey, I think, and I would love to get your take on this as well because I'm even finding, even as I try to dip my toe back in dating, that those old things are coming up. And I'm like, we're not going back there. I've done so much work. I refuse to go back to centering my life around somebody. There is absolutely no way. So yeah. Geovana: was talking about this with that yes, like we and I think that was a big realization for me too, and also because I noticed it about the women in my circle. I I was one of them too. But I noticed I was like why are we so focused on you will only be happy if you find a man? Like why is that the outcome? Denise: Mm. Geovana: I was like, that's not the out I was like, why? Why? And Denise: Right. Geovana: then I had heard about this in a book. think it was an old story that someone took happiness from us, from humans, and they hid Denise: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Geovana: it somewhere. And a lot of people went looking for it. They went to the bottom of the sea, to the top of a mountain, like they went looking for it and they never found it. But what they didn't know is that they hid happiness inside of us. And that's why Denise: Yeah. Geovana: That's why we struggled to find it 'cause it's not outside, it's not externally, it's inside. But but Denise: Yeah. Geovana: no one told you where it's hidden. So that story stuck with me. It was from a book. I need to reread it so I can tell it better. But it stuck with me and and that's when I realized why am I Definitely didn't work in the past. Like I I thought like a handsome man was gonna make me happy and a handsome Denise: I don't same Geovana: man rich taking care of me was gonna make me happy but it's like no it won't. the story will just repeat itself and I was like, why can't I take care of myself? And not in a financial aspect, but more in a spiritual aspect, like a self loving aspect. And I think until I process that heaviness, which for me was trying to make myself happy but also trying to make my family members happy. It was when I let go of that heaviness I was focus on me. And then back to men, it's like No, takes me back to the dating apps, right? Like the dating apps are designed for you to what's the promise? You're gonna find a match and you're gonna find love. Denise: Right. Geovana: But why is that the only outcome? if you keep thinking that when you find love you'll be happy, that's not how it works. you have to be happy with yourself first. Denise: Yeah. Geovana: love that you pour into yourself it's gonna be so strong that if someone comes and it's in alignment with you you will just sense when it's a correct when it's just like your soul match, you know? But it's also not about that's not the purpose either. it's finding purpose in your life, taking care of yourself, and that's the purpose not to find someone else to make you happy and fill your cup. Denise: Right. That's so true. And you're right. I would say ninety nine point nine percent of people do think that. they find their person and that's it. But so often what happens is that you realize that you've settled. And that's what happened in my situation. And I know people will say, okay, well it's because you're impossible to please. It's not that. It's because we don't have it within ourselves yet, right? We're looking for this thing outside of ourselves. And so to no fault of the people and sometimes of course people act without integrity. as I shared, line manipulation, that's a different umbrella. But when you're Not sure of yourself, you attract more of that, more of those characteristics because they're able to take advantage of you in that way. And so when you're a healthy whole human, you're able to identify that and know that it's okay to step away without it breaking you. Geovana: Something else that also made me realize how I was externalizing my happiness. I don't know if on social media you've seen people make your list of your dream man my god. And like Denise: yeah, I've seen that. Do you know how many times I did that? Geovana: Exactly. Denise: He hasn't he didn't come yet. Manifested, I did every move. Geovana: writing it like I was like why can't I do that? You know, like if I was writing Denise: Right. Yeah. Geovana: like he has to make X amount of money and he has to wake up at six AM and he has to like at this like Denise: Wait, did you write wake up at six AM? 'Cause I do I would write something like that. Geovana: I was like and I was writing all these things and I'm like I can do that, I can do that, I can do that. And then I think that also helped me like I don't need to find a dream man, like I just need to activate the dream woman that I was Denise: Yeah. Geovana: to be and then that that's how you find your wholeness. it's not about the dream man, it's like about the dream woman you were born to become. Denise: And it's not saying that you won't find the love. That is how you find it. And it's but you don't you're not fixated it on it in a way that you were before. So it's like it naturally gravitates towards you. And Geovana: Yeah, yeah, I don't I don't chase, I attract. Denise: Yeah. And it's so funny. I wanna use this example because it's a prime example. I had a friend that I worked with years ago and I loved her. She was great. And she would I admired her because she had the ability to be alone. She's like, I don't need anybody. I like being alone. I like my alone time. I can't imagine having somebody in my space. and it didn't seem like it was coming from a place of avoidance, right? she was genuinely whole within herself. And the other day I saw her with a guy and she was like, my god, I he turned my black heart. Into like a regular. It was just so funny because she had her sense of wholeness and somebody naturally gravitated towards her. She wasn't looking for that. And yay, her. I was like, you have no idea how excited that makes me, because that proves to me the theory is true. The more you find wholeness within yourself, the more you attract it. And maybe it's not right away. And that's okay because you're fine. You're you're you don't need it. Geovana: Exactly. in your s in your alone space. That's and Denise: Yeah. Geovana: that's that's another problem that I've noticed with with first of all with myself, right? it all started with myself. I remember the last guy I talked to, I I knew I was quitting. I'm like, I know I'm quitting dating. and it was like a withdrawal period. It's like Denise: Yeah. Geovana: it's so uncomfortable when your phone is silent. you're not getting you're not getting a notification like can my Denise: It's the weirdest thing. Yep. Geovana: clean you're not getting that. You it's not that you don't, it's not that you think you're not beautiful, like I think I'm I'm beautiful. it's not that I don't Denise: Yeah. Geovana: think like, like nobody finds me pretty. it's not that, it's just like you're just not getting that attention that you're used to, Denise: Right. Geovana: and it's quiet and it's uncomfortable. And I was like, you know what? I know this is gonna be uncomfortable, but I'm gonna push through. And I think I guess what helped me go through this dating withdrawal season that I'm in, maybe. now that I'm thinking about it, I think because I stopped drinking alcohol in twenty twenty four. So that was a big identity shift or something really hard. It was really hard for me to stop drinking alcohol. And I think when I quit the dating apps, it's like okay, I already quit alcohol, I already know what that transformation looks like. And I prepared myself for no dating. but again, not because I have not given up on men. I've not given up on love. It's like not throwing shade at men, I think attracted Denise: Yeah. Yeah. Geovana: to men, you know, but it's like right now it's about me about for the first time in my life to not make it the outcome to find a partner because the more you attach to it, the more anxious you're about it, it won't happen and you're still externalizing the happiness. Denise: Absolutely. And it's so funny that you mentioned the alcohol thing because as I've shared, that was one of the things that I had to give up to, but it was the same thing. It was like I wanted to feel good about myself. I didn't want to drink every weekend heavily and then start texting people that you shouldn't text and then it's a whole thing. And it wasn't that I was dependent on it, but I definitely would drink and then get to a point where you're like, well maybe it's okay if I just sleep with somebody or maybe it's okay if I just do whatever. I mean Geovana: Yeah. Denise: full disclosure, for me that's how it was anyway. So I want to touch also on what you do for women and what your goal is because I know that we and I am all about empowering and raising each other up. What we do is so similar, but I also know that when people hear different People that do even a similar thing, you naturally gravitate towards somebody that's more aligned for you. So I always want to share different people and what they do so that if someone is sitting there struggling, they're like, Wait, I love what she stands for. I wanna talk to her. Geovana: What I'm doing so far for me, what's been easy to identify lately, it's the father wound. because that was a huge part of my transformation, knowing that I was desperately wanting to be chosen by men. Because I was not chosen by my dad emotionally when I was a little girl. And that's what I'm noticing, that's what I'm helping people. right now I'm doing coaching, coaching through DMs or voice notes. But it's finding the pattern of when was like how was your childhood and how was your father, daughter dynamic and Why is that keeping you stuck in seeing a guy's potential? And then Denise: Yeah. Geovana: like staying with the wrong guy because you keep seeing the potential. So for me, the way I identify it, I guess I can go back to my story. With the last person that I dated, I think that that was after the guy who ghosted me. I went on a date with a guy I met at a concert and then we were supposed to meet for a second date. He cancelled two hours before the date. I was already halfway But that Denise: no. Yeah. Geovana: didn't stop me. I was well, I'm still gonna put a cute dress and gonna go out, go watch a movie and get dinner. But I still felt triggered. I was like, why am I so triggered for a guy that I've only met for one week and he's rejecting me? I was like, why am I so triggered? And I think I cried a little bit that night, but I I was able to have dinner with a friend actually, and we had burgers and she always helped me to I always went to her like hey be honest like what am I not seeing here? She always grounded me and then okay then I had some time to think about it that night and then the next morning I was able to get over it because I was like okay I was like this guy is not choosing me and then I was like okay like at what point in my life can I trace this back to? I was like okay my dad. How did my dad not choose me? think about it. I like, okay, he was an alcoholic and he didn't choose me when he was drinking. Because he was physically present but emotionally absent. Denise: Yeah. Geovana: was drinking in the house every weekend. So even though he never left the house to party with his friends, like he was there, but his emotional affection was not there. And that's what I was craving when I was little. But I didn't realize that until 33 year old me started asking herself those questions. Denise: Yeah. Geovana: And I was like, wow, it's not that I want this guy to choose me. It's like I'm triggered because when I was a little girl, like my dad didn't provide those emotions for me of like safety, like love, wholeness. Not that my dad didn't love me, like he was affectionate, right? When he was not drunk. But I was able to connect the dots of where the pattern started and how it was triggering me in my adult dating life. And that's Denise: Yeah. Geovana: that's where I'm helping women to like let's find the pattern of like how your dad didn't choose you when you were little and why it's triggering you in your dating life now and you keep chasing these men because you're still chasing the emotional affection you didn't get from your dad. Denise: Yeah. I love that. Again, it's helping people bring these things to consciousness. And similarly, it's so funny, I continue to say you find people with very Almost like the paths mirror yours. Like that's my biggest wound too is the father wound but narcissism was what I was trying to unlearn and I've attracted a lot. And people will be like, There's no way that you attracted that many narcissists, and I go, but trust me, when it's your path to learn these things, you will continue to attract Geovana: You will. Denise: the same man with a different face, maybe a slightly different code, but the theme is so similar. And so I'm really proud of us for breaking the pattern. And I know that we're just at the beginning of helping a lot of men and women to do the same. And I'm excited to see what unveils for both of us. As I mentioned to you, a lot of men reach out to me now too. So you never know. It's unexpected. I think that as we continue on, more people gravitate towards you and then it surprises us and we just don't know. But you follow the footsteps and follow the nudges of what feels good for your soul and what feels fulfilling. And to do something new when you're in corporate is scary. Geovana: Yeah, Denise: it's super scary and to put yourself out there, I always tell people I would never have imagined that I would be sharing stuff on social media the way that I do now and talking. You do it too now, right? Like the talking in front of a camera and posting it. So it takes a lot of courage and I'm commend both of us, but I also encourage people who are listening if you feel that pull to just take small steps and little by little and you'll start to get more comfortable and it becomes second nature, right? I to me it has Geovana: Exactly. Denise: I don't really I mean sometimes I still stumble upon my words, but mostly because I'm thinking too much about what I need to say. Geovana: Yeah, me too. Me too. Yeah, like I get Denise: Yeah. Geovana: like self-conscious about my accent or something, but yeah, I think it's and I haven't told anybody, like nobody in my group. of friends knows that I'm doing this because I'm just following spirit's recommendation. Like just block everybody. I'm like, okay, 'cause I know like I need that little push. Like not letting judgment like other people's judgment like, what is she doing? Like I'm I'm Denise: Yeah. Geovana: going through that like period of like I'm protecting this. This is my thing and I'm doing Denise: Yeah. Geovana: this without the least amount of judgment that I can get. Not that my friends would judge me, but I'm just like very protective because I'm also like I don't know like I just want to protect my thing that I'm doing and and like be yeah like I would have never imagined that I would be on social media talking about these things and like I mean but Spira really pushed me and like what pushed me to was to put my last name on my account. I'm like okay like think long term like long term Denise: yeah. Geovana: I'm gonna have a brand everybody's gonna know my name I Okay, like so it's part of giving yourself that push of like not thinking short term but like okay five years from now what do you wanna be doing? you wanna be visible, right? And Denise: Right. Geovana: but it's still getting through that block because with the mindset you're still working your nine to five and until you are finally break free from that, I think that's when you would really embrace I'm doing this and I'm leaving that old mentality back. Denise: Right. Yeah. Baby steps. And sometimes they come more quickly than we think. But all that matters is that you take the steps. And I do want to backpedal and mention that Spiro is our business coach. And we're working with him to push us on this journey. And eventually maybe you get to a point where you're willing to share. I was sharing with my coworkers my Instagram page, they were like, What you do that? But again, maybe four months ago I was not that person. So now It's it is I'm like here. That's what I do. Yeah. Yeah. Geovana: Yeah. I feel I feel like yeah, once I'm like solid in my direction of where I wanna take it to, I think I will share it. I do have a friend in mind that I'm gonna tell next week. so yeah, little by little I'm letting Denise: yeah. Yeah. Geovana: my group of friends know about what I'm doing. Denise: I love that. Well, I will be linking Javana's information in the show notes so that you can connect with her if you're interested. And really, this episode is about one, using your pain or challenges and turning that into power and fuel to step into your life's purpose. Because we're here, we are I want to say normal, but when I say normal, we're working conventional jobs, those nine to five jobs. That is not our goal. We feel it in our soul, and we are making the necessary steps to make those changes. But that's something that everyone can do. Literally every Everyone. If you feel that itch, it's your soul screaming at you to make the change. Geovana: True. Exactly. That that's what it is, you know, because when I when I finally embraced the quiet life. when I you know my life got quiet, no distractions from dating apps from men who have no purpose. When your life gets so quiet, that's when you finally start listening to that inner voice that's been screaming at you for years, but you like it it gets so you don't hear it because of the distractions. So once your life gets quiet, you listen to that inner voice. and then you start to channel it to let the world know, because I think going back to a spirituality, it's like okay, God gave me a voice, you know, I can speak, so might as well use it, you know, and that's the way I see it too. visibility, Denise: Yeah. Yeah. Geovana: that's another blockage trying to break through. it's okay, like people can see you and hear you. there will be haters in the comments, but that's their problem, that they're going through their own stuff. Denise: Yeah, and you get through it, you get stronger for it. I'm still working on that piece, but it still hits a little bit where you're like, gosh, is that true? But you get s all of all of it's just practice and like you said, I do think that we all came here with a mission in mind and we forget what that is. But the more you connect to yourself and sit in the silence, the more clear it becomes what you're meant to do. But if you keep drowning that out with distractions and half I wanna say half-ass men, but it's also half-ass women too. it's half-ass humans and Geovana: Yeah. Denise: people that are numbing themselves out, you're not gonna find that. Sitting in those quiet spaces and yourself and sitting with your own mind. Geovana: Exactly. And I think it's a journey too, you know, like if I trace it back it star it starts with sobriety. Like it started with sobriety, 'cause what was Denise: Yeah. Yeah. Geovana: I doing when I was drinking? I was avoiding reality. I was drinking my emotions 'cause I didn't know how to sit with them and process them. So it started with that and that's how you start to notice what am I doing that's in the way that I'm avoiding reality. And then you catch Denise: Right. Geovana: yourself doing those things, it's okay, time to self correct and face reality and live in it and actually Denise: Yep. Geovana: make it a meaningful one. Denise: Exactly. Well again, I'm so proud of us and I hope this encourages even one person if it encourages one person to step out of their comfort zone, then we've done our job. So I'm super excited to see where we go. And thank you so so much for being on the show today. I really am so appreciative of you and continuing to cheer me on. It's such a breath of fresh air in the in the chaos that is putting yourself out there. So yeah. Geovana: Yeah, thank you for having me. Denise: Good chaos. Yeah, of course. thank you guys so much for listening. I will see you guys on next week's show.