Latest / Hardiness with Dr Paul Taylor / Choose Growth Over Discomfort With Carly Taylor
Transcript
- 0:06Speaker 1: Hey, everyone, welcome to you this week's Mojo Monday. Someone
- 0:10Speaker 1: I know turned down an exciting opportunity last week, and
- 0:13Speaker 1: it wasn't because it was a bad decision, but because
- 0:17Speaker 1: they didn't feel emotionally ready, And that got me thinking
- 0:21Speaker 1: about how often we let emotional readiness, rather than the
- 0:26Speaker 1: opportunity itself, make our decision for us. And it's worth
- 0:31Speaker 1: asking why this happens, or at least understanding why this happens.
- 0:35Speaker 1: When we're facing a future opportunity, there's usually a lot
- 0:40Speaker 1: of uncertainty that comes with it. Our minds do this
- 0:44Speaker 1: job of protecting us from risk, protecting us from discomfort
- 0:50Speaker 1: that all that uncertainty brings, and our minds are really
- 0:53Speaker 1: good at giving reasons, fully justified ones, for why we
- 0:59Speaker 1: should say no. And for those people who are quite
- 1:03Speaker 1: hyper sensitive and struggle with worry and anxiety, it's even
- 1:07Speaker 1: harder because they're so zoned in on the sensations in
- 1:11Speaker 1: their body and it can feel way too much for them.
- 1:16Speaker 1: And of course there can be genuinely practical reasons to
- 1:19Speaker 1: say no, and there's always a choice, but when the
- 1:23Speaker 1: decision is driven by emotional discomfort rather than a skill
- 1:28Speaker 1: set or some practical reasons. Your emotions become the compass.
- 1:33Speaker 1: You're saying no based on how comfortable you feel about
- 1:37Speaker 1: the experience, and that can be a barrier for your growth.
- 1:42Speaker 1: Most of what we worry about doesn't eventuate, and things
- 1:46Speaker 1: normally turn out way better than we expected. And I'm
- 1:50Speaker 1: sure most people that are listening right now have a
- 1:53Speaker 1: story of when they were super nervous or super anxious
- 1:56Speaker 1: about something and they did it and then it was actually, oh,
- 1:59Speaker 1: they actually wasn't so bad after all. I'm so glad
- 2:01Speaker 1: that I did it. But it's our minds, in our
- 2:04Speaker 1: nervous systems. They don't care about our growth only they
- 2:10Speaker 1: only care about our short term safety. And so often
- 2:14Speaker 1: we just follow the orders that our mind gives us
- 2:16Speaker 1: without realizing that there may be another path. So I
- 2:21Speaker 1: am someone who has done many things that have stirred
- 2:24Speaker 1: up real fear, and to be honest, I still surprise
- 2:27Speaker 1: myself when I say yes to them. I don't have
- 2:30Speaker 1: a military background, i'm not an athlete, I'm not elite
- 2:33Speaker 1: at anything, and I get pretty worked up around uncertainty.
- 2:38Speaker 1: But years ago I decided that my compass for deciding
- 2:43Speaker 1: yes or no within reason, of course, would be my
- 2:47Speaker 1: personal growth and the chance to experience different things. So
- 2:52Speaker 1: despite feeling anxious, worrying I won't be good enough, or
- 2:57Speaker 1: that people will judge me, or all those other water
- 3:00Speaker 1: thoughts that come into my mind, I will usually say
- 3:03Speaker 1: yes to an opportunity because personal growth is a value
- 3:07Speaker 1: I want to align myself with. Most of it brought
- 3:11Speaker 1: up fear. Most of the stuff that I've done has
- 3:14Speaker 1: brought up fear and anxiety, which are normal emotions that
- 3:18Speaker 1: uncertainty brings, but those emotions didn't stop me. I never
- 3:24Speaker 1: really feel ready when I say yes, but what I
- 3:27Speaker 1: do do is channel that anxious energy into action. So
- 3:32Speaker 1: I channel it into the process, like whether it's preparing
- 3:36Speaker 1: for a talk, or getting organized for a trip or
- 3:38Speaker 1: training at the gym. The key isn't to wait until
- 3:42Speaker 1: I feel ready before I say yes. It's actually doing
- 3:46Speaker 1: that thing despite how I feel. If we wait to
- 3:50Speaker 1: feel ready, we may be waiting a very long time.
- 3:54Speaker 1: And the other thing is waiting assumes that we have
- 3:56Speaker 1: infinite opportunities ahead of us, but our life a finite
- 4:01Speaker 1: To live fully, we need to say yes and grab
- 4:05Speaker 1: these opportunities and have the courage to take our discomfort
- 4:08Speaker 1: with us while we do the things that we will
- 4:11Speaker 1: look back on and be proud of. Of course, we
- 4:15Speaker 1: have to risk that it may not work out, but
- 4:17Speaker 1: that we prepared and did the best that we could.
- 4:20Speaker 1: When we put one foot in front of the other
- 4:23Speaker 1: and move through our discomfort, that's where the growth happens.
- 4:28Speaker 1: So say yes to the opportunities that scare you, even
- 4:32Speaker 1: when your mind is telling you no. Channel your anxiety
- 4:35Speaker 1: into action, and don't let that discomfort be the one
- 4:39Speaker 1: making your decisions for you. Have a great week everyone,
- 4:42Speaker 1: I'll catch you next week. See it