Latest / The Art of Love With Lucia / Episode 689: EXACTLY What Your Ex Will Feel When You Do No Contact

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Episode 689: EXACTLY What Your Ex Will Feel When You Do No Contact · The Art of Love With Lucia

• 0:01
  What happens when you simply disappear after you've been
• 0:04
  dumped or you had to dump someone because they cheated on
• 0:08
  you or took you for granted? What will your ex feel when you
• 0:12
  give them the breakup and leave them alone?
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  Well, stay tuned and you'll find out.
• 0:18
  Hi, this is Lucia with the Art of Love.
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  I'm a deity and relationship expert specializing in helping
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  you get your ex back or to get over your ex.
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  And welcome back to my beautiful no contact army.
• 0:30
  Have you been a good little soldier?
• 0:32
  Well, if you have, then you've downloaded my app Silencio to
• 0:35
  help you stay in no contact. And the link for that is
• 0:38
  underneath every single video and podcast.
• 0:40
  And if you too would like to join our army, all you have to
• 0:43
  do is hit the subscribe button and the bell notification and
• 0:48
  you're in. And to read our manual, go to
• 0:51
  nocontactsecrets.com where you can read 2 free chapters before
• 0:55
  you purchase the book. And the link to that is also
• 0:58
  underneath every single video and podcast.
• 1:02
  So what happens when you completely vanish from your ex's
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  life? You don't initiate calls or
• 1:10
  texts or look at their socials. You don't respond to their
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  insignificant messages. What is your ex going to feel
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  when they realize you're gone even though that's what they
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  wanted or that that's what they thought they wanted?
• 1:24
  What happens when you flip the script?
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  By the end of this video, you'll understand why walking away and
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  being silent is so powerful. If you're ready to change the
• 1:35
  way your ex sees you forever, then I want you to comment below
• 1:40
  with the word forever and let's get started.
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  So the first thing your ex is going to feel is the sting of
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  rejection. They never expected you to
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  vanish in their mind because you didn't want to break up.
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  They assumed you would always be somewhere there in the
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  background and they could reach out.
• 2:01
  Whether it's just for friendship or because they were temporarily
• 2:05
  missing you, or maybe even because they changed their mind,
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  Your interest level in them was a lot higher than their interest
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  level in you. So they never saw this coming.
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  They never thought you would just disappear.
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  And this isn't just about disappearing physically, it's
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  also about taking with you everything that you provided,
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  whether that was comfort, connection, support, validation,
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  availability, etcetera, etcetera.
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  Now they're starting to realize that they no longer have any
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  control over you. You're unpredictable and people
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  respect what they can't control. People respect what they can't
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  predict. That's why if a grown tiger
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  suddenly walks into the room, you're going to have a lot of
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  respect for that tiger because you have no idea what it's going
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  to do. But if it's a little baby tiger,
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  you won't be so scared. So to make sure that the sting
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  of rejection is felt even deeper, don't give them any
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  warning. Do not tell them where you're
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  going to do. It's going to hit harder because
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  they never saw it coming. Never announce that you're going
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  to go into no contact or that you are in no contact.
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  And don't tell anybody who has access to them what you're up
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  to, no matter how much you trust them, because all it takes is
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  one person to say something and it could ruin your no contact.
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  After the sting of rejection, they're going to start to feel
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  the emptiness that comes with not having you in their life
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  anymore, even though that's what they wanted or thought they
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  wanted. That's because now there's a
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  void and how are they going to fill it?
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  Yes, some people will quickly get into a rebound, but those
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  don't usually last. And I talk about that in my
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  video about rebounds and I will link the video in the upper
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  right hand corner on YouTube. They probably thought they'd be
• 4:03
  happier once you left. They didn't count on missing
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  you. Without you, things just are not
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  the same. There's a quote that says the
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  chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they're too strong
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  to be broken. Yes, you were their partner, but
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  you were also a habit. They were used to having you
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  around. They thought they could still
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  have some type of contact with you after the breakup, and now
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  they're starting to realize that you meant more to them than they
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  thought you did. Maybe they thought they could
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  distract themselves with work or friends or with someone else,
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  but you will always be in the back of their mind.
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  They'll be wondering how you could just disappear just like
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  that. They never imagined they could
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  feel this way about you after a breakup.
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  Did you ever really care? Have you moved on?
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  Those are the questions they're going to be asking themselves
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  and question marks. They turn upside down and become
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  a hook and that hooks them back in and raises their interest
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  level. The more they feel your absence,
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  the more they will start to wonder if maybe they didn't make
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  a mistake by dumping you. Next we have curiosity.
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  Where the heck are you? What are you doing?
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  Who are you doing it with? Why do you look so happy on
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  social media? Why aren't you posting things on
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  social media as you get their attention?
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  Why aren't you posting their straps?
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  Why aren't you posting things on social media that are directed
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  at them? They become obsessed with what
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  you're doing because they now have 0 access to you whereas
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  before they had 100% access to you, right?
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  And in the age of social media, this stage is going to be very
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  intense. They'll constantly be checking
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  your socials for clues as to what the heck is going on.
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  Give them nothing. You can either totally go radio
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  silent, or you can carry on posting as normal, as if nothing
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  happened, as if there was no breakup.
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  Humans hate the unknown and their minds are going to start
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  to fill in the gaps and make up stories as to what may have
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  happened. They've now become obsessed with
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  you. Have you moved on?
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  Are you happier without them? They'll become fixated.
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  We're trying to find the answers to those questions.
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  At this point, they may reach out to mutual friends to find
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  out what's going on. They may not admit they care,
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  and they'll just act as if they're curious, but we know
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  better. They thought they didn't need
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  you, but now they're going out of their way to find out what's
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  going on. The less they know, the more
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  they'll want to know. Most people are so worried that
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  their ex is going to forget them if they do no contact, but
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  meanwhile it's usually the opposite.
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  They will not be able to stop thinking about you.
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  Next we have self reflection. Since they don't have any
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  answers from you as to what's going on with you, they have no
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  option but to turn inwards. So they'll start to second guess
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  their decision to break up with you.
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  Should they have stayed and tried to make it work?
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  Should they have been more patient?
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  Were they being too harsh? Regret will start to kick in.
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  Now they're alone with their own thoughts and they have no one to
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  blame but themselves. The more they reflect, the
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  guiltier they'll start to feel. Maybe they were the problem, not
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  you. They may wish they could go back
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  and do things differently and then the urge to contact you
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  will kick in. That's because the tables have
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  turned and after their period of self reflection, it's very
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  possible they've decided they want you back and this is when
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  they'll send a text like I've been thinking about you.
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  Or they may start to like your posts or make comments to see if
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  you'll respond. Or they'll contact you, usually
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  late in the evening when they're feeling especially nostalgic.
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  The tables have now turned and you hold the power.
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  Congratulations. However, you're still not going
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  to respond because these are essentially bread crumbs.
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  They don't get to have you back that easily.
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  The more bread crumbs they send and the more they see that
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  you're not responding, the more confused they'll be, the more
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  curious they will be, and the more obsessed they'll be.
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  Why aren't you responding? You always responded in the
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  past. What the heck happened?
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  Have they lost you forever? They no longer have the upper
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  hand they thought they did when they ceremoniously kicked you
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  out of their life. Don't give in.
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  The moment they start chasing, they need to put in effort in
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  order to get you back. They're not getting you back
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  that easily. You now know your worth.
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  Silence is your most powerful tool.
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  Let them feel the frustration of wanting someone and not easily
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  being able to have them. What happens next is an internal
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  battle between relief and regret.
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  When you initially disappear, it's understandable.
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  They may have felt relief. After all, that's what they
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  wanted. That's why they broke up with
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  you. They didn't want you in their
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  life. However, that initial feeling of
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  relief and freedom was short lived.
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  Because you disappeared off the face of the earth.
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  That freedom soon turned to emptiness when they realize that
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  you're not easily replaceable. That's why you don't want to
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  respond to bread crumbs. You want them to sit in that
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  feeling instead of responding and letting them know they have
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  access to you. Whenever they feel empty, their
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  relief will be short lived and will eventually turn to regret.
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  If you play your cards right. And once regret answers the
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  picture, they will want to gain back control, but they don't
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  know how. This is when they start to play
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  games such as blocking and unblocking, looking at your
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  stories but not saying anything, pretending they've moved on,
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  pretending they're happy. They're trying to get you to
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  break no contact. And I've done a whole video on
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  that topic and I'll put the link in the upper right hand corner
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  on YouTube. And when they see that they're
• 10:49
  not getting a reaction, they'll panic even more because they'll
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  realize they no longer have any power over you.
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  This is when they start to make mistakes or when they finally
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  start to leave significant messages.
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  Fear is what's going to make them come back.
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  This is when they start to think the exact same things that you
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  are thinking. What if I've lost them for good?
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  What if they've forgotten about me?
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  What if we never get back together?
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  What if they found someone better?
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  What if they went back to their ex?
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  What if they start dating that colleague they were always
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  talking about? The thought of losing you to
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  someone else will make them sick.
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  Good. The only thing they can think
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  about is getting you back. This is when they'll reach out.
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  This is when they'll apologize and maybe even beg you to take
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  them back. Or maybe they'll show up at your
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  door or at your work to try to get you to talk to them and this
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  is your golden moment to shine and to ask them the six
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  questions. Never, ever, ever get back with
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  someone who dumped you or who you had to get rid of because
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  they took you for granted or cheated on you without asking
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  them the six questions. Because otherwise there's a good
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  chance they'll break up with you again.
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  And of course, I did a whole video on that topic and I will
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  put the link in the upper right hand corner on YouTube.
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  So now I want to hear from you. How long have you been in no
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  contact and how is it going? And in the meantime, if you
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  would like my help to get your ex back, you can contact me at
• 12:35
  theartoflove.net/coaching and we will send you the rates that are
• 12:40
  not on the website. The link is underneath every
• 12:42
  single video and podcast and we respond to every single e-mail.
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  So if you don't hear from us, we didn't get your e-mail, so
• 12:50
  either use another e-mail address or you can contact me on
• 12:53
  my socials and the links to those socials are on my YouTube
• 13:02
  underneath every single video. If you found this video helpful,
• 13:06
  please like, subscribe and share.
• 13:08
  If you're listening to this as a podcast and you want to help the
• 13:11
  channel, please download this episode.
• 13:14
  And finally, remember, love inspires and powers, uplifts and
• 13:20
  enlightens.