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Transcript

“An Hour A Day" · Dos Amigos

• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Okay, salute, salute.
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: Ah.
• 0:14
  Speaker 3: Hi, I am Freddie Rodriguez and I'm Wilmer Valdoroma.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: We are in the Dose Amigos podcast.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: Well, thank you so much for everyone who's been prescribing
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: and downloading.
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: It's so amazing that you'll have been looking for us
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: everywhere else that we are available and and.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: Just enjoying these conversations.
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: You know, the idea of this podcast was to kind
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: of come together, reflect look ahead, but also be present
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: and enjoying and enjoying our friendship and the life that
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: we've lived, you know, in the legacy we're leaving behind.
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: And I think in this episode, you know, we wanted
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: to kind of domestify, you know, some of these things
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: you know that you know, multi generation that we've been
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: passed down, you know, I know mental health oth is
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: a is a big subject, you know, something that a
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: lot of people, you know struggle with today and and
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: you know, perhaps some of our listeners in this very
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: moment are going through a really difficult time. So we
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: thought it'd be cool to just say, hey, you know,
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: let's reflect on some of the things that we do
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: for ourselves. You know, some of the things that you
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: know that has gotten us through the darkness. You know,
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: our jobs, this career could be so so you know,
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: so tough, you know, rejection and the negativity that can
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: be surrounded by you know, it could be not just scary,
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: but could also really be.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: Daunting.
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: It's hard to find the path, you know, when you're
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: when you're when you enter in these zones, and how
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: do you keep yourself yourself saying how do you keep
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: priority as the guide in light? And you know, how
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: do you protect yourself in all these ways? And we had.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: To do things right.
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: We had to kind of figure out what are these
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: things that you treat you know yourself to you know,
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: and you know, I'll start with you know my version, right.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: I started this thing called my hour.
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: A day that if if in twenty four hours you
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: didn't have one hour for yourself, then what.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: Did you do for yourself today?
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: In other words, like.
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: Today match tomorrow or didn't match yesterday? Like how do
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: you you know, how did what did tuesday? What was
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: Tuesday different than Wednesday? And it's in that hour sometimes
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: when when our daily routine is going to work, you know,
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: getting on the same freeway, you know, making those similar
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: phone calls and then getting home and having a version
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: of the dinner we had before.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: You know what about that day made you remember it?
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: You know, in that hour that I would afford myself
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: could be in the form of fitness, right which I
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: like to work out, listen to loud meal say, can
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: really get in the mood and like you know, and
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: sing out loud, and you know, it could be a swim,
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: it could be a walk, It could be a meditation.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: It could be reading a chapter of your favorite book.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: You know. It could be you know, watching an episode
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: of something you know.
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: And I think that the idea was that my hour
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: day kind of inspire us all to kind of take charge,
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: you know, and break the patterns of our daily lives,
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: you know.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: And and find that.
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: But do you have something like that? Do you have
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: something like a you know, like my hour day? But
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: you know what, what do you what do you do
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: for yourself when it comes to like I want to
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: recenter again, I want to recharge.
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 3:18
  Speaker 4: A couple of years ago I went and I took
• 3:20
  Speaker 4: an intensive it's called TM Transcendental Meditation course, and it
• 3:26
  Speaker 4: was it was a three day course where they teach
• 3:29
  Speaker 4: you how to meditate. They give you a mantra, you know,
• 3:34
  Speaker 4: and it really helped me in so many different ways.
• 3:38
  Speaker 4: It helped me get centered. You know, I think it's
• 3:43
  Speaker 4: really normal in our industry for us to get anxious, right,
• 3:46
  Speaker 4: you know, for anxiety to be so prevalent in our
• 3:48
  Speaker 4: industry and in life, right, that's you know, obviously.
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: A byproduct of stress. Right.
• 3:58
  Speaker 4: And so I learned how to do that and it
• 4:00
  Speaker 4: and it also helped me in my in my acting
• 4:02
  Speaker 4: as well. You know, I find I remember one time,
• 4:06
  Speaker 4: I think we said this in the other episode, Andy
• 4:09
  Speaker 4: Garcia gave me some good advice.
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: He said, he said, just stay loose, man, stay loose.
• 4:13
  Speaker 4: Sometimes it's hard to stay loose, you know, when you're
• 4:16
  Speaker 4: when you're tense, when you're stressed, stakes are high, stakes
• 4:21
  Speaker 4: are high. Right, you don't know if other people on
• 4:25
  Speaker 4: set are disturbing your peace. You know, there's a multitude
• 4:30
  Speaker 4: of different elements that could affect that. And thus I
• 4:34
  Speaker 4: feel could affect your performance, you know. And I found
• 4:38
  Speaker 4: that meditation really helped me get centered, uh and help
• 4:42
  Speaker 4: me get focused enough that if any of that tried
• 4:46
  Speaker 4: to come into my space, I had the tools to
• 4:48
  Speaker 4: be able to deflect from that.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: Uh. And and that and even in my regular life,
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: you know, just whatever stresses.
• 4:57
  Speaker 4: Or anxieties we're going through it, just a little bit
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: of that a few days, a few times a day
• 5:03
  Speaker 4: really helps combat that.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: So question.
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: So there's so many forms of meditation, and I encourage
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: everyone to find their anthem, right, Like, go out there
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: and find all different versions of meditation and see which
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: one speaks to you, which one centers.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: You in waste that you never thought you could be before.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: But for you, what is that?
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: Do you mind talking a little bit about what is
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: the version of meditation you do it?
• 5:28
  Speaker 4: It's twenty minutes, two times a day. Oh, two times
• 5:31
  Speaker 4: a day, two times a day?
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: Is there specifically morning and evening?
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: Or I tend to do it?
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah. You know.
• 5:39
  Speaker 4: It's funny because the perception is that if you meditate,
• 5:42
  Speaker 4: it makes you sleepy, but it actually gives you some energy,
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: And so they encourage you to do it early in
• 5:49
  Speaker 4: order for you to take advantage of that energy, right,
• 5:51
  Speaker 4: and for you not to do it like right before
• 5:53
  Speaker 4: bed because they.
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: Think you'd be up.
• 5:55
  Speaker 4: So for me, it's a it's a combination of that
• 5:59
  Speaker 4: some prayer you know in the mornings, ah, some reading,
• 6:05
  Speaker 4: but you know, you have to equip yourself with the
• 6:07
  Speaker 4: tools right in whatever you do, whatever it is, whatever
• 6:11
  Speaker 4: you're dealing with in your life, right, you always need
• 6:13
  Speaker 4: a set of tools.
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: That's that's going to help you get through it, right, buddy.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: I mean, what's what's the hour a day for me?
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: Is it?
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: Is it the same every single day or is it?
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: Well, it depends because I have forfeited my lunch, which
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: used to be my forty five minutes of just like
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: shutting it down. Are either closing my eyes or reading
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: or whatever I have to do. I have to forfeit
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: it to zoom meetings because I have just running out
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: of hours of the day to do all my business stuff.
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: But I will say my hour day starts really early.
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: You know, I'm the guy who gets up at four
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: to thirty in the morning. Wow, I'll be in the
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: gym at four thirty and that gives me actually a
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: good hour and forty five minutes.
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: Even if you get to bed late, you're getting up
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: at four in the morning.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: I have to do it, Wow, I have to do it.
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: I have to just walk, you know. I walked through
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: the kitchen out through the kitchen door. I stepped down.
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: I walked towards my gym outside in the open. The
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: sky is full of stars, the air is crisp, cold, right,
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: the grass is still icy.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: You know that.
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: Eventually you make it into you know, the serenity of
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: the night, and then you make it into the gym.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: You make it into the.
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: Gym, you turn up your music and then you stretch. Yeah,
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: you know, just you and at times, you know, my
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: my my trainer at the time, you know, obviously, you know,
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: come in and four thirty in the morning, I meet
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: me there in the morning.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: We'll do it, you know.
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: And there'll be times, well I'll just be there by
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: myself four thirty in the morning, just like nothing new.
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: You can hear a sound right that time. Occasionally you
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: cross a couple of coyotes, you know.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: On your way to the gym.
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: But I walk in there and I will stretch, I
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: will warm up, and then I will just turn the
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: music to something that will make me happy, like I'll
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: do some Mark Anthony songs, so you know, I'll do
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: like some really lively, loud music and then that would
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: put me in that mood and then that that really
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: really would help it.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: Puld set up this.
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: Tone so then I go from there, you know, take
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: a shower, give him the car, and then traffic didn't
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: bother me, you know. Then I would just go get
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: to the four or five eventually get down to where
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: we shoot, uh in Cis and then and then and
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: then I'd be I had such a running start, you know,
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: a lot of my co stars we just had working
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: up rolling running to.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: Said are you already already two and a half hours?
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: So up, you know, going? Then I did walk in
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: annoyingly optimistic.
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: You know, are you Are you a breakfast guy or
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: you are you a car I love breakfast. Uh sometimes
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: I've had to do programs where I'm animated fasting, you know,
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: but some for the most part, I'd like to have
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: my breakfast in the morning.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: If you do it before or after the workout, I
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: do it after.
• 8:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, I do it after because you know,
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: I like to kind of do a little bit a
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: fast workout.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: I feel like I'm burning more, you know, I'm reaching
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: from what's in there, you know. And then.
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: You know, and then I'll just have a shake or
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: a world to have a breakfast right away and I
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: get to work, and you know, and I'll just you
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: would have to eat.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: But then once you once you start your start man,
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: like you know, you.
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: Know how it is once you get to said, you're
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: on the all time and just bringing it, you know,
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: and each scene could be three pages, you know, hard goores,
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: you know. But but that really helps me, you know,
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: just kind of getting a Ronnie Star at it. If
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: I'm traveling somewhere, when I'm in the plane, I'll find
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: a way to just do some You guys can go
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: to any of your streaming music devices and go look
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: for brown noise brown and that it sounds funny because
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: you know you're not brown, but brown noise is like
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: this deep, deep, you know sound.
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: It's like a wide noise.
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: That people used to sleeping sometimes, but the brown noise
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: is so deep. It has like this really really basic
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: kind of you know structure, and as soon as it
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: goes on, it almost feels like the wound of.
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: A mother, you know, and you're just.
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: Sleeping in there, you know, And like that's one way
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: to really turn it off. Once that brown noise explained
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: in your heart and your mind, you're not thinking about
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: anything else, right, nothing outside, nothing inside your your your
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: mind is able to kind of slow it down, you're
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: focusing on the sound, and then at that very moment
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: you're able to let go a little bit. The tense
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: on your shoulders go away, you know, the quick thinking
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: slows down, and that really helps. But brown noise is
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: an interesting one. Else to sleep with brown noise because
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: it's such just so relaxing.
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's quieting the brain.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: Do you sleep with that noise maker?
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: I do?
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's toff.
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: I've been to hotel rooms where I'm like, it's too
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: quiet in here, you know, Yeah.
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: I have to.
• 10:59
  Speaker 4: If you go on youtubeb and you and you put
• 11:01
  Speaker 4: like thunderstorm black screen, there's like twelve hours worth of
• 11:06
  Speaker 4: stuff like that on YouTube.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: You listen to storms. Yeah, that's that's the thing all night.
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 11:12
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but with a black screen, so it's just it's
• 11:14
  Speaker 4: just the sound of the storm in the back.
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but I need something like that.
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: When did you realize that what was that moment? What
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: was that thing? Well, what was that experience that made
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: you think or made you realize that you really needed to.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: Have this structure of meditation and prayer.
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: I you know, I think that.
• 11:39
  Speaker 4: You know, going through our business, uh and going through
• 11:43
  Speaker 4: the stresses of it. Eventually it starts to get to you.
• 11:47
  Speaker 4: You know, it starts to affect you and affect your
• 11:51
  Speaker 4: mental health. And you know, when you're young and then
• 11:54
  Speaker 4: you're in your twenties, you think you're resilient to everything, right,
• 11:57
  Speaker 4: and then all of a sudden, you start to get
• 11:59
  Speaker 4: older and you start ago, I should probably start doing
• 12:02
  Speaker 4: something about this, uh uh. And then and then you know,
• 12:07
  Speaker 4: I had, you know, my my pop passed away, and
• 12:10
  Speaker 4: you know, had you know, a couple of debts in
• 12:12
  Speaker 4: the family, and that really like rocks you you know,
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: rocks your core.
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: Uh.
• 12:17
  Speaker 4: And then you start to seek out ways to deal
• 12:19
  Speaker 4: with it, you know, especially in our industry, right, it's
• 12:22
  Speaker 4: so it's so easy to turn to other things as
• 12:26
  Speaker 4: opposed to meditation.
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: Or prayer or whatever.
• 12:29
  Speaker 4: You know, it's really easy to start diving into the
• 12:31
  Speaker 4: substance stuff.
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: You know, it's never been my thing, but.
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: Sure, you know, but in our professor and it's it's
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: a you know, it's it's a tough card. You know,
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: being being dealt at that card is is tricky. You know,
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: nobody equips you with this industry. In most careers, you
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: do the work, you show up, you put in your hours,
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: you go home, right, you get paid hourly, you get
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: paid you know, a yearly rate whatever.
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: Whatever that is.
• 12:57
  Speaker 3: But in our profession, and it's it's so much uncertainty.
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: You know, when your next job is going to be,
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: you know, and if a show ends, you know, like
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: you got to get a new one, you're out with
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: that is, you know, and you hope it's something that
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: can hopefully pay the road for the rest of your career,
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: you know.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: But but it's tough. I mean this, there's some high
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: pressures that comes.
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: With what we do.
• 13:16
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it does a number on your nervous system, you know,
• 13:20
  Speaker 4: and so you have to really start paying attention to
• 13:22
  Speaker 4: those things. And as you get older, you start to
• 13:25
  Speaker 4: realize that. You know, when you're younger, you think you're superman.
• 13:29
  Speaker 4: You know, you don't pay pay attention to any of
• 13:31
  Speaker 4: that stuff, right, But but you know, whether it's that
• 13:35
  Speaker 4: or like even therapy, you know, as we continue this
• 13:38
  Speaker 4: conversation about Latinos and mental health, you know, therapy is
• 13:41
  Speaker 4: something that Latinos and look, and I'm speaking on my
• 13:46
  Speaker 4: own behalf, right, Like, I feel like within our culture
• 13:50
  Speaker 4: is not really something that's at the forefront or.
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: It's talked about or anything like that.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: No, No, we always put a little dirt on it, you.
• 13:57
  Speaker 4: Know, have a little dirt on it.
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: But before we dive into these multi generational shading of
• 14:03
  Speaker 3: the patterns, I want to acknowledge there are you know,
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: our thro amigo. Here is you know, Josh, Josh in
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: the In the name of you know, having this be
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: our our zen moment, we decided that maybe Josh can
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: help us.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: With a mocktail.
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: A mocktail, you know, yeah, something that can bring our
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: senses up to a different level.
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: Josh, what do you make for us today? Today?
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: We're going to make a mint, tarragon cucumber, just a
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: refreshing a small water cooler.
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, something to kind of get the.
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: Mind right, set the tone that Japanese citrus in there,
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: also sudachi.
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: Just give it a little little tanginess to it. Very good.
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: That sounds great, sounds that wish to meditate that to that.
• 14:53
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, we should be in the sauna.
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, that's awesome. Can't wait to taste it. But yeah, man, But.
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: But speaking of multi generational tools, we've never been I
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: don't think I can speak for myself.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: I don't think we've been ever given.
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: Tools and how to actually cope, how to actually not
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: just cope, but like, how do we how do we process? Yeah,
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: how do we process trauma? How do we how do
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: we endure it? You know, how do we get through it?
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: And then most importantly, how do we set up ourselves
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: for success?
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: You know?
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: Would you agree that that it does something that it's hard?
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: You know in our culture somehow that passed to us somehow.
• 15:42
  Speaker 4: I just I just think that in our culture, we're
• 15:47
  Speaker 4: taught to suppress trauma, suppress feeling, suppress and and keep
• 15:55
  Speaker 4: and keep your head down and keep moving forward. Right,
• 15:58
  Speaker 4: But when you start to learn as you get older,
• 16:00
  Speaker 4: is that you know, it's it's it's like a pressure cooker, right,
• 16:03
  Speaker 4: Like you suppress, you suppress. Eventually, it's gonna have to
• 16:06
  Speaker 4: come out somewhere, right, It's gonna seep through the hole somehow.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, wow, Okay, even the collar feels like it
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: took me to a Japanese garden, thank you?
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah so much? Look at that a salute? Yeah, mint
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: on the top there has mint and tarragon and sudachi,
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: which is a Japanese citrus cucumber inside of there. Like
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: I said, just a small water.
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: Oh my, yeah, but that's delicious.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: Oh my josh, this is pretty good. It's is damn good.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: Thank you. Very refreshing.
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: Be getting back up on multi generational inheritance. I have
• 16:57
  Speaker 3: discover myself, my own life, and through my parents. I
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: never saw my dad process a bad day. I never
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: saw my mom complain about what it could have been. Yeah,
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: they just kept looking ahead.
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: They kept driving forward, ignoring the wounds and ignoring.
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: The scars that they had from the sacrifices they undeniably
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: had to make.
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know that.
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: And you know, specifically for us, who are you know,
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: sons who are very aware of the household and what's
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: happening and what our responsibility would be. You know, it's
• 17:35
  Speaker 3: hard not to be aware of some of the turmoil,
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: some of the pain and some of the stress, you know,
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: some of the trauma that your mom or your dad
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: might be carrying as you become an adult. You know,
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: do you feel like, do you ever saw your parents
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: like taking a bead or one for a walk or
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: like or you know.
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: It was just like absolutely not right.
• 17:58
  Speaker 4: No, you know I think that that are both of
• 18:01
  Speaker 4: our parents came from other places in the United States,
• 18:05
  Speaker 4: and and and their their lives sort of the survival mechanism, right,
• 18:12
  Speaker 4: And that's part of the survival mechanism.
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: It's everything you just said. You just you just.
• 18:17
  Speaker 4: Put your head down and you look forward and all
• 18:20
  Speaker 4: the stuff you just listed, and you survive. You know,
• 18:23
  Speaker 4: you put the blinders on and you survive. However, like
• 18:27
  Speaker 4: I was saying earlier, I feel like eventually you're you're
• 18:31
  Speaker 4: suppressing all the stuff that you're going through, right, all
• 18:34
  Speaker 4: the trauma that you've experienced, and eventually it has to
• 18:36
  Speaker 4: come out someway.
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: Somehow, and what I don't know, what form, I don't know.
• 18:41
  Speaker 4: You know, people sometimes channel that into alcoholism. Sometimes people
• 18:46
  Speaker 4: channel that into drugs.
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: Sometimes sometimes it manifests in projections onto your family and
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: through your kids.
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: You know, your kids bear you.
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: Know, some of that that sadness, that's some of that depression,
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: some of that inner you know anger. It's so important
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: to you know, for us as we kind of hold
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: the baton in this next phase of our generation to
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: kind of pass down to the next version of ourselves,
• 19:16
  Speaker 3: you know, better tools to figure out that if you're
• 19:19
  Speaker 3: going to continue to carry this storch, you know, you
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: got to find some outlets. You know, you have to
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: let some things go, you know, and look, by all
• 19:32
  Speaker 3: means we're not ever advertising here that we're the end masters.
• 19:35
  Speaker 3: I mean we have to carry stress we're doing. We're actors, right,
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: like actors have to really kind of you know unfortunately,
• 19:43
  Speaker 3: you know, good job for job, and you know, even
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: though this is our careers and this is what we do,
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: their level of inconsistency is not like you get in
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: a doctor's office and you can work there for ten years.
• 19:54
  Speaker 3: It's just not how it works, right, Like you can
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: do a movie this summer, you may not get another
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: one until next winter or the following winter.
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: A year and a half from that winter.
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: You know, you get a TV show nobody saw I
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: got canceled three episodes in, you know, and like, so
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: there's a lot of uncertainty that's distressful. And then you
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: become an adult, right, and then you have a family,
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: you have kids, but this is what you do, you're
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: an actor, and and you know, so and so I
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: reflected on that and then I and I flipped the
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: coin and said, wow, our parents did what they could,
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: and they did what they had to.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: What would you say to that next generation? What would
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: you say to to the next version.
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: Of all of us, you know, that says you know,
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: all Latinos, you know, you know, when it comes to
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: mental health, they just put some.
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: Dirt on it, you know, which is what I was
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: saying earlier. What would you say to that?
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: I think that it's important to.
• 20:55
  Speaker 4: Find what that outlet is, to let out whatever it
• 20:59
  Speaker 4: is you're suppressing, right, whatever anger, whatever trauma it is
• 21:04
  Speaker 4: you're suppressing, because otherwise it will it will come out.
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 21:07
  Speaker 4: It's like it's like putting a band aid, right, You're
• 21:10
  Speaker 4: going to bleed somewhere, you know, and you don't want
• 21:13
  Speaker 4: to be bleeding on your spouse or you know, or
• 21:16
  Speaker 4: someone that you really love. And and I feel like
• 21:20
  Speaker 4: our culture in particular are not encouraged to do that,
• 21:23
  Speaker 4: you know.
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: And I'm not I'm not.
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: Sitting here as like an advocate for like therapy for example,
• 21:29
  Speaker 4: you know, but like whatever that thing is, you know,
• 21:31
  Speaker 4: is it is it?
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: Is it prayer?
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: Is it meditation? Is it?
• 21:35
  Speaker 4: Is it worth waking up at four in the morning
• 21:37
  Speaker 4: and putting on brown noise and and working out and
• 21:40
  Speaker 4: like whatever that thing is. Because I feel like we're
• 21:44
  Speaker 4: not taught that there.
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: Should be a thing. It's just put your head down,
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: get to work, clock in, clock out, come home, provide
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: for your family. You know. It's it's a it's a
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: bit of.
• 21:54
  Speaker 4: A hamster wheel a little bit right, And I get
• 21:57
  Speaker 4: it right, you know, like you said, you get older,
• 21:59
  Speaker 4: you have kids, you have a family, You're just trying
• 22:01
  Speaker 4: to survive.
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: You're just trying to do your things. So I understand. Yeah.
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: And it's also you know, this goes beyond our culture too,
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: to your point.
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: You know, I mean, there's so many cultures out there
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: that have had to you know, keep their head down
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: and keep digging, you know, and discourse for anyone. It
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: doesn't matter if you're white, if you're black, if you're brown,
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: if you Asian. You know, it doesn't matter. You know,
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: we all carry certain multi generational burdens, you know that
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: that we feel we have to kind of continue to carry.
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: And that doesn't mean you ever need to forget what
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: and who you are and what it took for you
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: to become what you are. It just feels like this
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: is a moment where you can allow yourself to love
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: yourself a little harder than before. Just love yourself a
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: little harder, you know, you need to take a nap.
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: Take a nap, right right, simple example.
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: It's like, if we can make it obtainable and make
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: it attainable, you know, and I think about also, you know,
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: our ability to pass down to the next generation the
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: tools they need to continue to you know, outlive tyranny,
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: you know, to continue to move forward and disrupt and
• 23:10
  Speaker 3: and build and in order if we're going to go
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: and disrupt and build a new you know, a new marketable,
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: equitable place for our culture, you know, we're gonna have
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: to take care of some things, you know, because we're
• 23:21
  Speaker 3: gonna continue to take some hits on the way.
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: There. You talk about you know, projection.
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: And it's all real, right, and yeah, I mean that's
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: that's that's one of those things. I mean, you're in
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: this in this subject in this episode. I you know,
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: I I think you and I have lived long enough.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: We have so many incredible people.
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: In our lives, but we're also lost so many people
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: in our lives to depression, to stress, you know, to
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: the complicity of like you know, you know, not meeting
• 23:54
  Speaker 3: expectations to yourself or to others, or you know, there's
• 23:58
  Speaker 3: just so much about the depression that's just scary, especially
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: in the artist community. Man, it's a torture community, you know,
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: it's a sad community. It's a broken community.
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: That defines light and art, you know. And when art.
• 24:12
  Speaker 3: Is isn't diluted or fractured by an industry that's you know,
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: that has to make money, you know, it's hard for you.
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: To continue to enjoy it, you know.
• 24:21
  Speaker 3: And you know, I've lost a lot of friends to
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: you know, unfortunate unfortunate suicides, drug addictions.
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: You know, And and it's really really scary.
• 24:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah, because they have no place to direct that that
• 24:38
  Speaker 4: whatever it is that's happening inside. You know, did you
• 24:41
  Speaker 4: find your parents ever had some place to direct that
• 24:45
  Speaker 4: where they could release that.
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: My mom never has. She wears it like the baddest
• 24:54
  Speaker 3: woman alive.
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: There are times when I've seen her crime, you know,
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: and and when she cries, she lets some of all
• 25:04
  Speaker 3: of that stuff out.
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: You can tell. It's like thirty forty years of things
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: they just.
• 25:09
  Speaker 3: Like come out in one cry and then and then
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: she doesn't cry for like another ten years. My mom is,
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: at eyesight, the strongest woman've ever met in my life.
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: But that doesn't mean she's not putting it together inside
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: of her every day, you know, trying to like get it,
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: you know, get it to a happier place.
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: It doesn't doesn't, you know, doesn't wear it on her sleeve.
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: No, she will never know.
• 25:37
  Speaker 3: You will never know, right, And you know, I would
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: say that my daughter has definitely brought new sunshine into
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: her house.
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: And the same thing with my dad.
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they all, you know, they all have things that
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: they just I don't know if they'll ever be able
• 25:50
  Speaker 3: to say out loud how they feel, whether they're sad
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: or not. And I mean I think my dad in
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: his older age, I think he's definitely a lot softer now,
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: and you know, he cries a lot easier, you know,
• 26:00
  Speaker 3: and he cries of happiness, he cries of you know,
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: all these things.
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: But yeah, I don't think they have either, you know.
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: And I think it's a pattern, right, It's like that's
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: a that's the thing, you know, it's a it's a
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: it's a pattern that happens in our lives.
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: So do you feel that you've broken that pattern?
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: I think I have. I'm more conscious, you know. I mean,
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: look the way we talk to each other, right, there's
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: times when you call me I'm like, hey, I just
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: want to make sure right, to make sure that you know,
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: you knew kind of how I meant when I send
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: you that text, right, Like our parents would never do that.
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: They're like take it, to leave it and see whatever
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: it comes back. You know.
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: But you're so much more aware of the atmosphere than
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: the harmony that you create in your life. And like,
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: you know, you and I never had an uncomfortable situation.
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: We've never had a situation where we're like it has
• 26:57
  Speaker 3: to get to like not talking, like why, Like I
• 27:03
  Speaker 3: can't even fathom not talking to Freddie, you know what
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: I mean, Like it doesn't make sense, right, Like, we
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: don't we don't have the we don't have the stubbornness
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: to say like.
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: Oh he calls me, yeah, no, no, I call you first.
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: You called me first. If he's quatched whatever, it's gonna call.
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: And we've never had to by the way, just for
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: the record, we've never had to squatch anything, you know.
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: But you've always been an incredibly supportive friend.
• 27:27
  Speaker 4: Thank you, brother, Thank you man, and same same, And
• 27:30
  Speaker 4: I'm really happy that we're using this platform to to
• 27:34
  Speaker 4: talk about this. You have no idea how many times
• 27:36
  Speaker 4: I've had the same conversation behind the scenes with people
• 27:42
  Speaker 4: who don't don't feel comfortable talking about it, don't feel
• 27:45
  Speaker 4: comfortable bringing that subject matter on.
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 27:49
  Speaker 4: I've you know, I can't begin to tell you how
• 27:53
  Speaker 4: many people I've come across, whether people I'm close to
• 27:58
  Speaker 4: or not, who are just in so much pain. You know,
• 28:01
  Speaker 4: they're just in so much pain, and that pain continues
• 28:05
  Speaker 4: to bleed in places where it shouldn't.
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 28:09
  Speaker 4: And then when I start, when I begin to have
• 28:11
  Speaker 4: these conversations about healing, they look at me like I'm
• 28:15
  Speaker 4: crazy sometimes, you know, or like I'm presenting some sort
• 28:18
  Speaker 4: of new agey thing, you know. You know, I had
• 28:23
  Speaker 4: a friend of mine who's like, oh, man, it's just
• 28:25
  Speaker 4: some Hollywood shit, man.
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: You know, I'm like, no, dude, it's not Hollywood shit.
• 28:31
  Speaker 4: Man.
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: It's it's you know, you're going through some stuff.
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: And you have to heal from it.
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 28:36
  Speaker 4: It's like the concept of having to heal from it
• 28:40
  Speaker 4: is like it's foreign, you know.
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no, it's it's very real. It's very real.
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: Well, look, I feel happy that we can have a
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: platform to just be vulnerable.
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: And say, hey, we don't have all the answers here.
• 28:58
  Speaker 3: We're not supposed to have all the answers, but we
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: at the very least can create a space where we
• 29:03
  Speaker 3: can all just say it out loud, you know, just
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: say that like we don't have it all together or
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: sometimes you know, and and that we're you know, we're
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: trying to be strong, and we're trying to be happy
• 29:12
  Speaker 3: with where we live and with the few years that we.
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: May have left in this earth. You gotta make the
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: most of it, you know.
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: So you know, for everyone who's listening and everyone who's
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: out there at home feeling and you know, and wondering
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: if there's anyone out there that would understand or or
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: feels the.
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: Way you do, You're understood. There is a world, there
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: is a place.
• 29:35
  Speaker 3: You know, and we share it all together, and you'll
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: be surprised how many people out there are willing to
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: not just pick up the phone but be there before you.
• 29:44
  Speaker 3: So if you're in a dark place and you're going
• 29:46
  Speaker 3: to something and this happens to finds you, please know
• 29:50
  Speaker 3: that there's hodlines, there's friends, you know, there's family members
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: you haven't called, and you're not alone in that feeling.
• 29:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah, don't and don't allow how you've been brought up,
• 30:04
  Speaker 4: Dictate the moves that you make.
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: In order to get help right.
• 30:10
  Speaker 4: You know. I've run into that so many times, you know,
• 30:13
  Speaker 4: where people are like, well, that's not how my parents
• 30:16
  Speaker 4: did it, that's not how my grandparents did it. Well,
• 30:19
  Speaker 4: this is a different time and a different generation, you know.
• 30:22
  Speaker 3: And there's nothing more courageous, yeah, than saying how you feel.
• 30:28
  Speaker 3: It takes real bravery, a real courage to just speak
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: aloud and say I'm not okay. There's no strength in
• 30:35
  Speaker 3: like swallowing it. The strength really comes from you taking
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: its power by actually invoking it out loud. Once he
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: leaves your mouth, he leaves your body. So the more
• 30:46
  Speaker 3: you can express it, the faster you can get to healing.
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: And anyway, I hope this episode helped you, guys, And
• 30:54
  Speaker 3: I want to thank Josh, you know, forgiving us this
• 30:58
  Speaker 3: varies and know, drink really delicious drink, and Josh really
• 31:03
  Speaker 3: appreciate you.
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: Man, appreciate you, guys.
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: And this is those Amigos.
• 31:09
  Speaker 4: I am Wilmer Valderrama, I am Freddie Rodriguez and we
• 31:12
  Speaker 4: are signing off. Dose Amigos is a production from WV
• 31:20
  Speaker 4: Sound and iHeartMedia's Michael through That podcast network, hosted by Me,
• 31:25
  Speaker 4: Freddie Rodriguez and Wilmer Valdorama.
• 31:27
  Speaker 3: Those Amigos is produced by Aaron Burlson and Sophie Spencers Abos.
• 31:32
  Speaker 4: Our executive producers are Wilmer Valdorama, Freddie Rodriguez, Aaron Burlson
• 31:36
  Speaker 4: and Leo Klem at WV Sound.
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: This episode was shot and edited it by Ryan Posts
• 31:41
  Speaker 3: and mixed by Sean Tracy and features original music by
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: Madison Devenport and Helo Boy.
• 31:46
  Speaker 4: Our cover art photography is by David Avalos and designed
• 31:50
  Speaker 4: by Deny Holtzkall and.
• 31:51
  Speaker 3: Thank you for being at Third Amigo today. I appreciate
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: you guys always listening to Those Amigos.
• 31:56
  Speaker 4: The more podcasts from my Heart, visit the ir heart
• 31:58
  Speaker 4: Radio app, apple Pot Podcast, or wherever you listen to
• 32:01
  Speaker 4: your favorite shows.
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: See you next week.
• 32:09
  Speaker 4: M