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What if the Key is Actually UN-Lucky Girl Syndrome?! · Blush

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  If you've ever found yourself thinking, why does this happen
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  for everyone else but not me? If you've ever found yourself
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  thinking, why couldn't I be so lucky, then this episode is for
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  you. OK, so last year there were two
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  Tik Tokers who seemingly blew up out of nowhere.
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  Like seemingly overnight. Both of them reached several
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  million followers in I mean like weeks.
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  I think like just a crazy fast blow up.
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  I don't want to talk about them by name, so I'll call one of
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  them Mary and the other for one Katie.
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  So it doesn't really matter? Yeah, it doesn't really matter
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  anyway. So to backtrack, the two of them
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  blew up seemingly overnight. And then one of them, Mary, I
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  noticed, I've noticed, I feel like she's almost like flailing
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  a bit the past few months. She keeps like changing niches
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  and changing what she talks about and changing her formats.
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  And she said that she dropped her management company and all
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  these things. And the other one, Katie
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  actually just announced that she's not even doing this
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  anymore. And I had this moment where
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  maybe I'm projecting onto them, but I think I know what's going
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  on. And I think that there is a
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  bigger lesson here for the rest of us.
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  I think with both of them, they started achieving the success
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  that they wanted so rapidly. And then as the algorithm does,
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  as things happen in life, everyone has ups and downs.
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  Everyone has big growth eras, everyone has flop eras in every
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  facet of their life, right. So I think that they were
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  growing, growing, growing got to somewhere really, really
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  quickly. And then all of a sudden they
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  were like, wait a second, the growth stops or slows.
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  You know, like everyone plateaus.
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  They stop having that virality that they're used to and then
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  all of a sudden everything just feels bland and dull.
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  And so I think that that's why Mary keeps re pivoting because I
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  think that she I can feel exactly what she's going through
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  where she's like, Oh my God, am I like shadow band?
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  Like is it because of this? Maybe I should change niches
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  because TikTok is suppressing this kind of content.
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  I think that they're constantly like re pivoting and trying new
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  things and nothing is seemingly nothing is sticking and landing.
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  And I think that that's where their frustration comes from.
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  And I think ultimately the issue is that they grew so quickly
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  that when things plateaued, they actually didn't know how to
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  handle it because they weren't used to it.
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  They just thought it was always going to be like that.
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  And it really reminds me of something I thought for a long
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  time, which is that I think that we are better poised to sustain
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  whatever good things are in our lives when we have to work
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  harder for them than if they come easier.
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  And I've seen this in so many things, right?
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  Like weight loss is a good example.
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  People who lose weight really rapidly tend to gain it back.
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  People who lose weight in a more slow way.
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  That's why it's called slow and sustainable.
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  It tends to be more sustainable. They tend to be making lifestyle
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  changes that are actually sustainable.
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  When you lose weight really rapidly, it generally comes from
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  a very rapid and aggressive reduction in calories, which is
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  not sustainable. I'm case in point, right?
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  Like look at, I mean, we like we all have eyes, right?
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  We can call a spade a spade. Like, I'm bigger now than I was
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  last year. But hi Sam, hi sweet girl.
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  Hi sweet girl. And if you really were to look
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  at my entire adult life, my weight tends to fluctuate a lot
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  because I have a pretty unhealthy relationship with
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  food, although I am working on it in therapy.
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  So watch out, bitches. It's about to be a whole
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  different thing anyway. But the reason I could never
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  hold on to my like, super like think like right when I came
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  back from Mexico City, I was like snatched to the gods.
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  But the reason I couldn't hang on to that body is because the
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  way I got there was so unsustainable.
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  I really wasn't eating enough. And so of course then I start
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  overeating and I went through, I mean, just this months and
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  months and months long binging episode because I was
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  undernourished before. Completely lost my train of
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  thought. I think that that's just one
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  example. That's a very tangible example,
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  but other ways that I think this shows up.
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  You know, I, I was single for so long, right?
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  So single, desperately wanted to find someone.
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  I really felt like everyone I had ever met found each other.
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  Like I remember one time I was at my best friend's wedding and
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  every single person at that wedding was in a serious
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  relationship other than me, the bride's mother, and the bride's
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  brother, which actually ended up being fun because the three of
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  us had a lot of fun together that night.
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  But I remember look, looking around and being like, how is it
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  that every single person here has found their pair other than
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  me? Like how is that even possible?
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  Like what? Like it just felt like, like,
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  did you ever miss a day of school in elementary school?
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  And then the next day you go back or high school, whatever
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  and you're like, shit, like we must have covered something
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  really important. Like on the one day that I
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  missed, I feel like I'm like completely off track or oh God.
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  I remember when I first started college, I went home one of the
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  early weekends of college. It was like the weekend after
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  rush was over and I felt like my entire pledge class and my
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  sorority had like really bonded and found each other and I was
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  like completely left out. And I was like, fuck me.
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  Like, why did I pick the one weekend to leave when everyone's
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  like bonding with each other? Like it just felt like I was
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  like, did I miss a day of school and everyone partnered up and I
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  come back and I'm like odd man out.
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  Like what the fuck is happening? And over time, something
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  interesting has happened. A lot of those relationships
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  have fallen apart. Meanwhile, I found my person and
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  like, it's such a good relationship and I'm so like, I
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  would not trade anything in the world for us to have met sooner
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  or me to have not been single all those years.
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  I think that that singleness gave me this runway and this
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  impetus to do so much inner work, which is the reason why my
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  relationship is as harmonious and as successful and as happy
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  as it is today. It's because I did so much inner
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  work. And the reason I did so much
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  inner work is because I didn't have that person.
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  And so I was like, like, let me try to fix all the things that
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  are wrong with me, which also, by the way, is a deluded way of
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  thinking and not accurate. But nevertheless, it caused me
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  to do so much in her work, which is why my relationship is not
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  good. And I was talking to my friends
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  about Mary and Katie, the two tick tockers, and I was like, I
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  like, I've never reached the level of success that they have,
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  but I've had minor versions of it.
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  So I feel like I can really relate to what they're going
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  through. But the difference is, I, I
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  think that I would be better poised to handle the flop era
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  that comes after a really successful era because I've
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  already experienced it in more minor ways because like, my
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  growth hasn't been that rapid because I have tried so hard.
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  I know what it feels like to try so fucking hard and get nothing
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  in response. And so all of this has got me
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  thinking, like everyone talks about lucky girl syndrome and
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  like all this stuff. And I do think that mindset is
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  so important and how we talk to ourselves is so important.
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  But what if there's a lot of beauty in unlucky girl syndrome?
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  Like what if? What if by being the ones who
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  have, have, how do I want to phrase this, have a harder it
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  like it's more of a challenge to get our footing?
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  What if that is the secret sauce?
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  What if we're lucky that we're unlucky?
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  Like what if the luckiest thing is it actually being more
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  challenging to get there? Because ultimately that could
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  mean so much more sustainability.
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  I don't know, just a little food for a thought.
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  If like, if you find yourself thinking like, why couldn't I be
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  so lucky? What if you reframe it and be
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  like, man, I am so fucking lucky that it's not coming easily to
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  me? Like, how lucky is that?
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  Just a thought. I mean, you're already unlucky,
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  may as well be grateful for it, huh?
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  Huh. I don't know, what do you think?
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  What if that is the key to lucky girl syndrome?
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  It's actually realizing how lucky you really are that you're
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  quote UN quote unlucky. Just a thought.
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  Anyway, I'm going to go, it's Blizzard day, things are pure
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  chaos here. We'll try next week.
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  Also tune into Blush Kitchen on Thursday, it is an episode where
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  I make 6 tacos in like minutes for each one because we already
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  did all the meal prepping last week.
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  So. And if you haven't watched the
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  meal prep episode, go check that out because I think it is the
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  most helpful framework out there for eating healthy.
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  Should I have to go? There's something wrong with
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  Sam. You OK Mama?
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  It's OK. It's OK.
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  It's OK.