Latest / She Rises with Ashy & Tijana / We are STRUGGLING 🥴😓Heavy Emotions , grief , health and more - LIFE UPDATE !

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We are STRUGGLING 🥴😓Heavy Emotions , grief , health and more - LIFE UPDATE ! · She Rises with Ashy & Tijana

0:05
Speaker 1: Apogae Production. Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashy
0:13
Speaker 1: and I'm Siana.
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Speaker 2: This podcast is about female empowerment and encouraging you to
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Speaker 2: be your biggest, boldest, and most authentic version of yourself.
0:20
Speaker 1: We help you shed the shame, grow to a new level.
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Speaker 1: We're gonna laugh and cry and talk about the topics
0:25
Speaker 1: everyone else is too afraid to talk about.
0:28
Speaker 2: Get ready for your next level of self.
0:31
Speaker 1: Hello everybody, Welcome back to she Rises. Back in your
0:34
Speaker 1: ear on a fresh Monday morning, if you're on your
0:36
Speaker 1: way to work or you going for a walk, bucklin,
0:39
Speaker 1: We've got a full life update everything that's been going down,
0:43
Speaker 1: because let me tell you, twenty twenty five, you've been
0:46
Speaker 1: a lot. I almost want like a restart button, honestly, Yeah, yeah,
0:49
Speaker 1: can I go back? Yeah? Seriously, Like you know, at
0:52
Speaker 1: the start of the year, New Year, fresh meat, it's
0:55
Speaker 1: gonna be amazing. It's my year. Holy shit, A lot's
0:58
Speaker 1: been happening. So today we're gonna be talking all about it.
1:01
Speaker 1: But Monday always Share of the week. What have you
1:03
Speaker 1: got for us this week? Tea?
1:04
Speaker 2: My Share of the Week this week is honestly like
1:07
Speaker 2: a shameless plug hideaway Vanilla Delight perfume. It is my
1:12
Speaker 2: favorite scent. And I was telling Ashley this earlier today.
1:15
Speaker 2: I could never wear perfumes, like I haven't worn proper
1:18
Speaker 2: perfumes in maybe like five years or something like that,
1:22
Speaker 2: because they're so strong that they give me a headache,
1:25
Speaker 2: and whether it's the chemic or whatever it is, it
1:26
Speaker 2: just gives me a raging headache. And so I stopped
1:28
Speaker 2: wearing perfumes for a few years, and then you introduced
1:31
Speaker 2: me to Hideaways ones and I was just like, oh
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Speaker 2: my god, I'm obsessed because they don't give me a
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Speaker 2: headache and it's the best.
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Speaker 1: I remember when I actually gave you something like oh
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Speaker 1: I can't wear perfume and give me a headache. It
1:39
Speaker 1: was like fair enough, and then you started to worry,
1:41
Speaker 1: like I don't have a headache. Yeah.
1:43
Speaker 2: I was like, that's so good. I'm so excited because
1:45
Speaker 2: I loved wearing perfume. But Vanilla Delight is my favorite
1:48
Speaker 2: scent at the moment.
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Speaker 1: It's crazy because Black Essence has been the number one
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Speaker 1: sellar for over a year now since launch, which is
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Speaker 1: the dupe of the why I cell black Opium and
1:56
Speaker 1: Vanilla Delight is now the number one. It's probably one
1:59
Speaker 1: of my favorites. That and then Pedal Dreams, which is
2:01
Speaker 1: a duup of birbery for her yeap whatever. Magsie wears
2:04
Speaker 1: that she's so sexy, and every time she wears and
2:06
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my gosh, I just want to like
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Speaker 1: hold you and smell you.
2:10
Speaker 2: You actually prayed that yesterday and I was like, oh,
2:12
Speaker 2: I forget that I have that.
2:13
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's really nice. And you've got that at home,
2:15
Speaker 1: that backera roofe. I do. Yeah.
2:18
Speaker 2: So it just sits and collects dust on my bench.
2:21
Speaker 2: It's really cute esthetically, it's cute. Gives me a raging headache.
2:25
Speaker 2: I know when I first bought it, it's about six
2:27
Speaker 2: hundred dollars. Bottle of perfect clows my mind kicks hundred dollars, right.
2:31
Speaker 2: I've sprayed it maybe three or four times. Yeah, and
2:34
Speaker 2: I know going into dinner or something like that, I'm
2:37
Speaker 2: going to end up with a raging headache.
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Speaker 1: Six hundred dollars. No one wants to buy six hundred
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Speaker 1: dollars for a perfect okay, gosh, no, not when you
2:44
Speaker 1: can buy it for like twenty five thirty dollars and
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Speaker 1: it smells pretty much an end too. It's crazy, It's insane.
2:50
Speaker 1: Mine is something that we were just talking to our
2:52
Speaker 1: producer just before we came on and push record, and
2:55
Speaker 1: she was saying she heard this from someone else, she
2:57
Speaker 1: thought she heard it from us, and it wasn't. It
2:59
Speaker 1: was basically talking about how we talked to ourselves. And
3:02
Speaker 1: she said, imagine if you were in a room with
3:04
Speaker 1: your biggest bully. So for me, be like my biggest troll,
3:07
Speaker 1: you know, putting me down all the time, criticizing myself,
3:11
Speaker 1: shaming myself, telling myself I looked ugly. You know, the
3:14
Speaker 1: troll does that to me. But if you're constantly putting
3:16
Speaker 1: yourself down and doing that, you literally have to be
3:18
Speaker 1: with yourself all the time. You're in a room with
3:21
Speaker 1: a bully. But if you do that to yourself, you're
3:23
Speaker 1: with your bully all the time. But imagine doing it
3:26
Speaker 1: on the flip side of being with your best friend
3:28
Speaker 1: and how much they lift you up and they compliment
3:29
Speaker 1: you and they make you feel so good. That's the
3:31
Speaker 1: kind of person that you want to be for yourself.
3:33
Speaker 1: Stop being a fucking bully to yourself for telling yourself
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Speaker 1: that you're fat and you're ugly and You're not capable.
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Speaker 1: You would not do that to your best friend. You like,
3:40
Speaker 1: there are you doing that to yourself? Yeah? And do
3:42
Speaker 1: you actually think that helps you progress forward? Do you
3:45
Speaker 1: think that makes you feel better? Does it create change? No?
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Speaker 1: It does nothing but make you feel like a piece
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Speaker 1: of shit. So stop it.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't need to punish yourself, not like you
3:54
Speaker 2: don't for whatever reason. Even if you think that you do,
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Speaker 2: you don't, and it doesn't benefit you. But what will
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Speaker 2: benefit you is treating yourself like you would treat your
4:01
Speaker 2: best friend. Yeah, I re respect Yeah, highness compassioneldred percent.
4:06
Speaker 2: So that's my little share of the week because and
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Speaker 2: she said that, I was like, Wow, I've never pictured
4:09
Speaker 2: myself being in a room with my troll for the
4:10
Speaker 2: rest of my life. Oh but if I speak to
4:12
Speaker 2: myself like shit, that's exactly what I'm doing.
4:14
Speaker 1: Yeah. I would never want to go and hang out
4:15
Speaker 1: with my trolls, but I don't want to go hang
4:17
Speaker 1: out with someone that spends their life trying to hate
4:19
Speaker 1: me and bring me down. Never yet, if you would
4:21
Speaker 1: do that to yourself, you're trolling yourself. Thank you, No way,
4:25
Speaker 1: not up in here. Love yourself sick you're amazing. Alrighty,
4:30
Speaker 1: So today, yeah, we're just gonna have a big life
4:32
Speaker 1: catch up update. We just had our second in person
4:35
Speaker 1: live event, which was honestly insane. However, it was a
4:40
Speaker 1: really difficult day for you as well. Yeah, I already
4:43
Speaker 1: feel emotional. Yeah, it was. It was a big date.
4:46
Speaker 1: It was such a conflicting day, you know.
4:48
Speaker 2: It was so beautiful, but like, as you know, like
4:51
Speaker 2: in that morning, like we were sitting at the gym
4:53
Speaker 2: at five am, and I had been checking updates on
4:56
Speaker 2: one of my high school best friends, Lucy, because she
4:59
Speaker 2: was going through brain surgery and her heartner was updating
5:01
Speaker 2: us on her social media basically just keeping us updated
5:05
Speaker 2: around what's happening. And I remember looking at my phone
5:08
Speaker 2: at like five o'clock in the morning, like sitting in
5:10
Speaker 2: the gym about to stretch, and just bawling my eyes out.
5:13
Speaker 1: To you, like, he posted that she had passed.
5:17
Speaker 2: And it's just one of those things where like you
5:20
Speaker 2: just don't ever expect it to be someone that you
5:22
Speaker 2: know or like, you know, you hear of death all
5:24
Speaker 2: the time, but like you don't really feel the impact
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Speaker 2: of it unless it's someone that you really know and love.
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Speaker 1: Yes, one minute, I felt.
5:31
Speaker 2: Really sad and like was thinking of the memories of
5:33
Speaker 2: when we were younger and how much time we spent
5:35
Speaker 2: together and how much of like a ride or Die
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Speaker 2: we were in that time of my life, and then
5:39
Speaker 2: equally thinking about how grateful I am for those memories.
5:42
Speaker 2: Through that day, I really just had to like hold strong,
5:44
Speaker 2: and I remember thinking to myself, like, even if I
5:47
Speaker 2: don't break down today, I'll give myself tomorrow to break down,
5:49
Speaker 2: you know, because I feel like I just really needed
5:51
Speaker 2: to get through the day. And I think for me,
5:53
Speaker 2: that was more than just holding back emotions, and it
5:56
Speaker 2: wasn't suppressing. It was like compartmentalizing, like right now, I
6:00
Speaker 2: need to show up for myself, for you, for all
6:02
Speaker 2: of the women who were here, for all of the
6:04
Speaker 2: women who helped us bring this event together to make
6:07
Speaker 2: a really beautiful night. And then I was like, okay,
6:09
Speaker 2: Like tomorrow I can grieve, you know, properly. And it
6:13
Speaker 2: doesn't mean that I didn't throughout the day. It just
6:15
Speaker 2: means that I was like, okay, like I want to
6:17
Speaker 2: show up for me, and I was really proud of
6:18
Speaker 2: myself for that and also hopefully it can be you know,
6:22
Speaker 2: a really beautiful example for the other women who were
6:24
Speaker 2: going through tough things, who want to give up on
6:26
Speaker 2: the things that they say that they're going to do,
6:28
Speaker 2: and then go like, it's okay, you can do hard things.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, And we're actually very capable of holding multiple emotions,
6:35
Speaker 1: which I always thought you couldn't. Always thought you would
6:37
Speaker 1: feel one way and not the other. Yeah, but it's
6:39
Speaker 1: crazy from moment to moment. That's great. It can hear
6:42
Speaker 1: you like a ton of bricks. Yeah, momentente, you're completely fine,
6:44
Speaker 1: and then you hear a song or someone talks about
6:46
Speaker 1: a memory or like last night makes you uploaded these
6:48
Speaker 1: cute videos that I took a rambo and I found
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Speaker 1: that more trigging that I was there in that beautiful
6:53
Speaker 1: moment and I was just like so upset. And then
6:55
Speaker 1: you asked me how my heart is, and I'm like, oh,
6:57
Speaker 1: you want to know how I am? Like, and then
7:01
Speaker 1: I did a medical hate emotional yeah, like five minute
7:04
Speaker 1: voice did you make cry?
7:06
Speaker 2: Well?
7:06
Speaker 1: Well, I couldnt even understand what I was saying. Oh no, no,
7:11
Speaker 1: but in serious that's what it is. And then I
7:13
Speaker 1: did this gratitude meditation and then you know, the tears
7:16
Speaker 1: turned to gratitude tears, and I went off to sleep
7:18
Speaker 1: and I wake up excited for today, and then we
7:21
Speaker 1: talk about this and I was like, Fuck, it's really
7:23
Speaker 1: real and it's really sad.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like you and I both have been
7:25
Speaker 2: on this like emotional rollercoaster at the moment where it's like,
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Speaker 2: in any moment, anything can exist for us. You know,
7:30
Speaker 2: it's like we're both holding each other in it all.
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Speaker 2: And one day I'm crying and you know the next
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Speaker 2: day you're crying. The biggest lesson in all of this
7:37
Speaker 2: has just been to surrender to the emotion, because you
7:40
Speaker 2: just have to be willing to ride the wave. Like
7:42
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm holding back tears saying all of this,
7:44
Speaker 2: but like you've got to be willing to just ride
7:46
Speaker 2: the wave and let it in. Yeah, ever it needs
7:49
Speaker 2: to come up, because that's how you actually process through
7:51
Speaker 2: it exactly. Whatever exists in the moment. If you're happy,
7:55
Speaker 2: be fucking happy. If you're sad, be fucking sad for
7:57
Speaker 2: a minute. Let people hold you in it, but just
8:00
Speaker 2: ride the wave of emotion that's coming in the moment,
8:03
Speaker 2: and you will help you process through it so much quicker.
8:05
Speaker 1: If you try and push aside and block and not
8:08
Speaker 1: allow all of those emotions to come through. It will
8:11
Speaker 1: come through, and it'll explode one day. It'll just build
8:13
Speaker 1: up and build up and build up. You're like a
8:15
Speaker 1: boiling hot kettle and the little just come off and
8:18
Speaker 1: you'll explode. And it could come out in anxiousness, like anxiety.
8:22
Speaker 1: It could come out in anger, could come out in resentment.
8:25
Speaker 1: It could come out and just total brain fog and
8:28
Speaker 1: not being able to concentrate, just feeling on edge all
8:30
Speaker 1: the time. So just allowing it. It just tells your
8:33
Speaker 1: body that it's okay, and it is okay all the
8:35
Speaker 1: emotions are. But also Lucy passing it made me really
8:41
Speaker 1: grateful for my surgeries being okay because she died of
8:44
Speaker 1: a brain aneurysm and it's the exact brain aneurysm that
8:47
Speaker 1: my husband Steve had, and is so lucky that he Oh, sorry,
8:51
Speaker 1: babe's take a moment.
8:59
Speaker 2: Sorry, Like I don't even think I really shared this
9:02
Speaker 2: a lot with you, but like from an aneurism just
9:10
Speaker 2: brought up a lot of stuff around, like like holding
9:14
Speaker 2: you through your surgeries and like being fearful that something
9:17
Speaker 2: would happen to you, and like I'm just so grateful
9:22
Speaker 2: that your surgeries went well and then I was able
9:24
Speaker 2: to be there for you. But fuck, Babey, I honestly
9:26
Speaker 2: would be beside myself.
9:28
Speaker 1: It's a big wake up call, like because I remember
9:32
Speaker 1: having those conversations with Steve, like if something happens to me,
9:35
Speaker 1: like you can show the kids or the videos of me.
9:38
Speaker 1: There's plenty of the video. But yeah, I'm so grateful
9:43
Speaker 1: that I'm still here, and also Steve, because yeah, that
9:45
Speaker 1: surgery that she went through, Lucy went through, and that
9:48
Speaker 1: Steve went through is really dangerous, like having a brain
9:52
Speaker 1: aneurysm the size that they had. It's yeah, it's not
9:55
Speaker 1: an easy surgery and.
9:57
Speaker 2: Something that you were telling me that, like people don't
9:59
Speaker 2: normally operate because of how dangerous it is and how
10:02
Speaker 2: high the risk is of dying into.
10:05
Speaker 1: They would not operate on Steve for nine years. Yeah,
10:08
Speaker 1: and there's only one surgeon that then called and said
10:10
Speaker 1: I will, but there's a high chance you'll die and
10:12
Speaker 1: a high chance you'll go blind. It's a very risky surgery.
10:16
Speaker 1: So yeah, the duality of that being so sad for
10:19
Speaker 1: Lucy and her family because I just cannot imagine what
10:21
Speaker 1: they're going through. And then being so grateful that my
10:24
Speaker 1: husband's still here, you know, and that, Yeah, I got through.
10:28
Speaker 1: It's a lot, It really is a lot. Just life
10:32
Speaker 1: just feels so unfair sometimes, isn't it especial when people
10:34
Speaker 1: get taken so young. We were having this conversation of
10:36
Speaker 1: when someone passes in their eighties or their nineties, even
10:39
Speaker 1: their seventies, like it's still equally as sad. It will
10:42
Speaker 1: always be sad, but there's that layer of oh, you've
10:45
Speaker 1: lived your life, You've got to experience so much. You
10:47
Speaker 1: got to have children, you got to get married, see
10:50
Speaker 1: your grandchildren, travel, work different jobs, like try new things,
10:53
Speaker 1: and when they get taken away young, it's just like,
10:55
Speaker 1: man just doesn't feel right. Yeah, it doesn't know, it
10:59
Speaker 1: feels wrong, it does. I think all of this stuff
11:01
Speaker 1: as well.
11:02
Speaker 2: It's like so close to home as well, you know,
11:04
Speaker 2: because like you said, Gloocy had passed from an aneurysm. Yeah,
11:08
Speaker 2: and you know, I know recently if you feel open
11:10
Speaker 2: to sharing, just recently, Eve been having some things pop up. Yeah, three,
11:15
Speaker 2: and that's beIN scary scary. Yeah.
11:18
Speaker 1: I last week in training, I started to lose my
11:22
Speaker 1: sight again, and it wasn't as bad as the first time,
11:25
Speaker 1: but I haven't experienced that since last March. That's when
11:28
Speaker 1: I found out I had a brain aneurysm. Yeah, last
11:30
Speaker 1: week and training, it just got really dizzy. And I'll
11:33
Speaker 1: explain what we think it is in a moment. But
11:35
Speaker 1: the week before that, I was sitting on the couch
11:37
Speaker 1: with Steve and the kids are gone to bed, and
11:40
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, the whole room started to spin. Now,
11:42
Speaker 1: I have really low blood pressure, so if I stand
11:44
Speaker 1: up too quick, I get quite dizzy. I always have.
11:46
Speaker 1: It's not a new thing. But the whole room started
11:49
Speaker 1: to spin, but not in a dizzy kind of way.
11:52
Speaker 1: And just like you know when you get drunk and
11:54
Speaker 1: the room starts to spin and you know you've hit
11:56
Speaker 1: your limit. I remember that when I was younger. Anyway,
11:58
Speaker 1: it felt like that and then my eyes. I could
12:01
Speaker 1: feel my eyes started to roll in the back of
12:03
Speaker 1: my head and I couldn't control it. I looked over Steve.
12:05
Speaker 1: I was like, name, it's such a panic, and he
12:07
Speaker 1: came over and just quickly laid me down, got out
12:10
Speaker 1: his phone ready to call an ambulance, and just put
12:12
Speaker 1: his hand on my tongue and he's like, just breathe
12:14
Speaker 1: up into my hand, just nice, slow brass and I
12:16
Speaker 1: did that and that kept me calm. If he wasn't there,
12:19
Speaker 1: I think I would have put myself into a panic
12:20
Speaker 1: attack and probably made whatever this was, which we think
12:23
Speaker 1: is a mini seizure. He caught me right down, but
12:26
Speaker 1: then he took a video and my right hand it
12:29
Speaker 1: was like all this energy was in it was like flicking.
12:31
Speaker 1: I remember him saying to me, and it was kind
12:33
Speaker 1: of going up to my shoulder, just to my right side,
12:35
Speaker 1: and he was like, can you control that? Do you
12:37
Speaker 1: know what you're doing? And I couldn't speak at that point,
12:40
Speaker 1: but in my head I wanted to be like no, no,
12:42
Speaker 1: like I can't control it. But I remember afterwards him
12:45
Speaker 1: showed me the video and I was like, whoa, that's
12:47
Speaker 1: a bit of a blur, like I remember feeling something.
12:49
Speaker 1: I only went for a couple of minutes, so we
12:51
Speaker 1: didn't call the ambulance. I am trying to book into
12:53
Speaker 1: my neurosurgeon. God, the public system is so difficult to
12:56
Speaker 1: get into such a pain oh man. And I don't
12:59
Speaker 1: want to go to just a normal doctor because they're
13:01
Speaker 1: going to refer me to a neurosurgeon. Anyway, and I'm
13:03
Speaker 1: sure it's fine. And why I think it's fine is because,
13:06
Speaker 1: as I've spoken about, Steve had a brain aneurysm, and
13:09
Speaker 1: before he had surgery, he used to have epileptic fits
13:12
Speaker 1: like I'm talking on the ground, knocking his teeth out,
13:14
Speaker 1: banging his head against like if anyone's seen it in
13:16
Speaker 1: an oblective fit, it's pretty intense. He had to go
13:19
Speaker 1: on medication to keep those calm. But post surgery he
13:23
Speaker 1: still has little blackouts every now and again, which is
13:25
Speaker 1: almost like a little seizure, and he normally has to
13:28
Speaker 1: lie down or wherever he is just stopped, Like we've
13:30
Speaker 1: been in a supermarket before and he's just had to
13:32
Speaker 1: stop and hold onto the trolley and let it pass.
13:35
Speaker 1: But he's a very calm person. He doesn't panic, and
13:37
Speaker 1: he just breathes his way through it. And he said
13:40
Speaker 1: it's kind of like you know when your computer is
13:42
Speaker 1: open and you've got one hundred tabs on and it
13:44
Speaker 1: starts to not function as well. He said, the reason
13:47
Speaker 1: when that happens is when you're really tired, really strung out,
13:50
Speaker 1: or you've got a lot going on. It's like in
13:52
Speaker 1: computer there's just too much happening and something to do
13:55
Speaker 1: with our brain. He'd explained this a lot better than me.
13:58
Speaker 1: But it's just like there's too many electrons or something
14:00
Speaker 1: going on your body that it's spasms and freaks out
14:03
Speaker 1: and then it gives your body symptoms like a fit
14:06
Speaker 1: or a seizure. So he thinks that's what it was.
14:09
Speaker 1: I trust him, and I also talked around eurosurgeon, but
14:11
Speaker 1: he's like, I wouldn't stress about it. I don't think
14:13
Speaker 1: anything's wrong with your surgery. I think you're just really
14:15
Speaker 1: tired and you're going through a lot, and this is
14:17
Speaker 1: how your body is going to respond probably from here
14:19
Speaker 1: on out, if you get to this point. Yeah, and
14:21
Speaker 1: I always say to Town, I think I hold stress
14:23
Speaker 1: really well, but the body keeps score. Like the body knows.
14:27
Speaker 1: Even if I feel quite regulated and I look after myself,
14:31
Speaker 1: it knows. And when I get those symptoms, it's just
14:33
Speaker 1: a signed to kind of check in more and slow
14:35
Speaker 1: down more. So, Yeah, that was really scary because I
14:38
Speaker 1: just I'm crying to Steve after just going like oh
14:41
Speaker 1: my God, like I just not that I was sick,
14:43
Speaker 1: but I said to my I just can't get sick again,
14:45
Speaker 1: like I want to be here. Yeah, like I don't
14:47
Speaker 1: want anything to happen to my brain, like I can't go.
14:49
Speaker 1: I love life, like I need to be here. And
14:52
Speaker 1: what if I was with Tala or driving or something
14:54
Speaker 1: and that happened. I just had all these intrusive thoughts.
14:57
Speaker 1: It's like, don't go there, you're here, you're safe. It
15:00
Speaker 1: was on the couch, You're through it. Yeah, it's all good.
15:03
Speaker 1: You might not ever have another one again, and if
15:05
Speaker 1: you do, we'll deal with it, you know. And he
15:07
Speaker 1: can go on medication for sieges, but I wouldn't if
15:10
Speaker 1: they're just going to be that little. Yeah, it was
15:12
Speaker 1: like convulsive on the floor, then I probably would. Like
15:15
Speaker 1: he was on medication from him when he was like
15:17
Speaker 1: ten or something, right up until the surgery. Wow, because
15:20
Speaker 1: he had to try and keep his body in a
15:21
Speaker 1: more relaxed state so his body wouldn't spasm and freak
15:24
Speaker 1: out and have the fits. So yeah, that was a
15:27
Speaker 1: little scary. Speaking of our bodies at periods, where the
15:32
Speaker 1: fuck are they? Oh my gosh, I know both our
15:36
Speaker 1: periods are so delayed. So mine last month was two
15:39
Speaker 1: weeks late and I thought I was pregnant. It's been
15:41
Speaker 1: a big few months it was, and I was really
15:44
Speaker 1: mixed emotions about it, and I didn't realize how mixed
15:47
Speaker 1: I was until I bought the pregnancy tast I actually
15:49
Speaker 1: got them uber to my house because it was two
15:52
Speaker 1: weeks and I was like, fuck, what if this is?
15:55
Speaker 1: And I got uber because Steve and I were talking
15:57
Speaker 1: and Taj was being nosy and heard everything. It's like,
15:59
Speaker 1: are you pregnant? I was like no, and then Steve
16:02
Speaker 1: was like, how do you feel if we had another baby?
16:04
Speaker 1: He was like, oh, I don't want it. He's like
16:06
Speaker 1: two's and half Tala's enough, so honest.
16:09
Speaker 2: Yeah.
16:09
Speaker 1: But then he's like, but also if that happened, like
16:11
Speaker 1: I would be okay, And then Steve started to get
16:14
Speaker 1: really excited. He's like, oh my gosh, would it be
16:17
Speaker 1: a boy or a girl? Do you want? Taj? Yeah.
16:19
Speaker 1: We started to get in the emotion of oh my gosh,
16:21
Speaker 1: we would have another baby and I already have the name
16:23
Speaker 1: that I would want, And then I would flip and
16:24
Speaker 1: be like, oh my gosh, no, no, no, no, I'm happy.
16:27
Speaker 1: I've got a girl and a boy. We're healthy, we're content,
16:30
Speaker 1: life's good. I love what we've got here. Tyler's kind
16:33
Speaker 1: of she's nearly three. We want to travel a lot
16:36
Speaker 1: when she turns for like take them around the world,
16:38
Speaker 1: different locations as a family, and I've got everything how
16:41
Speaker 1: I want it to be. Yeah, it's like, I don't
16:43
Speaker 1: think I want another baby. And then I've been begging
16:45
Speaker 1: Steve to get the snip for ages and he's just
16:48
Speaker 1: not wanted to get it. And then I was like,
16:51
Speaker 1: if we are pregnant and I've said I don't want
16:54
Speaker 1: another baby, and I'm in this conflicted spot of feeling
16:58
Speaker 1: guilty that I might not want another baby if I
17:00
Speaker 1: am pregnant, or then going ahead with being pregnant, and
17:03
Speaker 1: my whole life is like change again. I know it's
17:05
Speaker 1: always a blessing and you're never ever having kids, but
17:08
Speaker 1: I'm just having this honest conversation that I don't know.
17:11
Speaker 1: I didn't know how I felt, and I felt everything.
17:13
Speaker 1: I felt excited, like oh my gosh, maybe I do
17:14
Speaker 1: want a third Yeah no, I don't. Now I'm in
17:17
Speaker 1: this position of like, oh shit, freaking out. So we
17:20
Speaker 1: went out in the lounge dream and I just could
17:22
Speaker 1: not get it off my mind. So I ubered two
17:24
Speaker 1: pregnancy tests and got Steve in the bathroom. We did
17:27
Speaker 1: it together, and I was so nervous, and he sat
17:30
Speaker 1: me down on his lap and he was like, regardless
17:32
Speaker 1: what happens, we've got this. If it does come back
17:34
Speaker 1: as positive, this is going to be so beautiful. We
17:37
Speaker 1: love our kids so much. This is what it's all about.
17:39
Speaker 1: Nothing else matters. I've got you, We've got each other.
17:42
Speaker 1: We'll get through this. Dah da da. I was like, okay, okay, okay,
17:46
Speaker 1: and then both said no, and then I felt disappointed.
17:49
Speaker 2: Yeah.
17:49
Speaker 1: I was like, this is an emotional fucking rollercoaster talk
17:52
Speaker 1: about with black and he looked sad. Yeah, so yeah,
17:56
Speaker 1: it was weird. So that happened, and then he booked
18:00
Speaker 1: him for a snip. But yeah, my peer was two
18:04
Speaker 1: weeks l you're eight days late. I'm eight days late.
18:07
Speaker 1: I'm four days late. Yeah, which is so strange.
18:10
Speaker 2: Normally I'm pretty like on the mark you are only
18:13
Speaker 2: ever like one to two days off. And I track
18:15
Speaker 2: it on an app and like, obviously it's not possible
18:18
Speaker 2: for me to be pregnant. I'm very much single. I'm
18:20
Speaker 2: having a dry spell. Okay, there's there's no sex happening
18:25
Speaker 2: up in this area, Like there's just not felt the
18:29
Speaker 2: law so there is no sex. There is nothing nothing, Yeah, honestly,
18:35
Speaker 2: and my vibrate is my friend at this point, Like
18:38
Speaker 2: it's just not possible.
18:39
Speaker 1: So I know, it's like my body is like.
18:42
Speaker 2: Just adjusting to maybe stress or just changes in the
18:46
Speaker 2: environment or food or things like that.
18:48
Speaker 1: Even I was trying to sink up. Maybe Yeah, you
18:50
Speaker 1: hang around someone quite a lot, your bodies sync up.
18:52
Speaker 1: We haven't sined Yet'm suppright, it hasn't happened, So I
18:56
Speaker 1: don't know what's happening there. I think we're both adapting
18:58
Speaker 1: to stress, and we definitely are not getting enough sleep.
19:01
Speaker 1: And yeah, look we're a little bit guilty of this.
19:03
Speaker 1: We're working at night time, getting a start, having little
19:06
Speaker 1: scroll saving sounds, editing content, planning OUVS. Planning what we've
19:10
Speaker 1: got coming up for she rises. There's just not enough
19:12
Speaker 1: hours in the day for what we want to do.
19:14
Speaker 1: So it's like now before bed we have like this
19:16
Speaker 1: little period where we're both doing stuff or whatever we're doing.
19:19
Speaker 1: And the other night we like were voice messaging and
19:22
Speaker 1: then I was like, fuck it, I'll just call you.
19:24
Speaker 1: And we're like on FaceTime, sometimes not even talking, but
19:27
Speaker 1: both searching things. And then we'ld take a screenshot something
19:30
Speaker 1: in our faces. It's just like the worst angle, so funny.
19:33
Speaker 1: It's like double chins and we're not gonna be in
19:34
Speaker 1: bed together.
19:35
Speaker 2: We just have to call it yeah honestly, And sometimes
19:37
Speaker 2: we're lying there on phone together and we're like, why
19:40
Speaker 2: don't I just come over? I just sleep over? Fuck it, Like,
19:43
Speaker 2: let's just do this together. So funny, it is so fun.
19:46
Speaker 2: But we're off to Bali, which is very exciting.
19:48
Speaker 1: We can't wait. It's us too and make and we've
19:51
Speaker 1: just got a whole itinery of massages and eating at
19:54
Speaker 1: cafes and going to beach clubs and riding on the scooters.
19:58
Speaker 1: Should see our itinery.
19:59
Speaker 2: It is next levelor hang out all the gym and
20:01
Speaker 2: the cool thing is like Ash and I've both been
20:04
Speaker 2: many times before. We love Bali, but Meg has never
20:07
Speaker 2: been before, so it's going to be your first time
20:09
Speaker 2: experience for her and I know we are both so
20:12
Speaker 2: excited to show her the ropes because it's a whole
20:14
Speaker 2: different experience when you go somewhere for the first time.
20:16
Speaker 1: Oh, you got to figure it all out.
20:18
Speaker 2: You've got to figure it all out. You don't know anyone,
20:20
Speaker 2: you don't know where to go. You don't know where
20:21
Speaker 2: the locals go, whereas with us we've kind of seasoned in. Yes,
20:25
Speaker 2: so we can show her all the ropes, and her
20:27
Speaker 2: first experience is going to the next level.
20:29
Speaker 1: It's going to be so good. I am packing that traveland,
20:33
Speaker 1: which is like a tablet you can take before you eat. Yeah,
20:35
Speaker 1: just a line of stomach because we're on probotics at
20:37
Speaker 1: the moment. I know if she is, but like gut
20:39
Speaker 1: health powders, but I think you can really prevent bali belly.
20:43
Speaker 1: I think so. She's really worried about it, but I
20:44
Speaker 1: think she'd be good.
20:45
Speaker 2: And also so just being mindful of where you're eating, eat,
20:48
Speaker 2: the water, even swimming.
20:49
Speaker 1: With your head underwater. Yes, so true. Just don't do that.
20:52
Speaker 1: Just don't do that. I would love for you to
20:55
Speaker 1: give us a little rundown of your psychic that you saw,
20:59
Speaker 1: which I looked in for the end of month with
21:01
Speaker 1: the same girl. Oh my god, Yes, it's about her.
21:03
Speaker 1: She is incredible, such a cool experience. So why did
21:06
Speaker 1: you go to the psychic? Is that a better question
21:08
Speaker 1: to ask?
21:09
Speaker 2: Danny for asking that question, because you know I'm gonna
21:11
Speaker 2: I'm gonna beat around the bushy up. All right, you
21:14
Speaker 2: guys ready for a truth bumb So, I feel like
21:18
Speaker 2: I wasn't fully over my ex before I had my
21:20
Speaker 2: recent partner, and I really struggled letting go of that
21:24
Speaker 2: relationship because I was just so in love and I
21:26
Speaker 2: just the future vision that I projected for us and
21:29
Speaker 2: what I thought that we were going to have was
21:30
Speaker 2: so strong in my mind that even now I even
21:33
Speaker 2: question and struggle with that, you know, as you do
21:35
Speaker 2: when you really love someone. And I was feeling confused,
21:39
Speaker 2: and I was just like, fuck, like, please just give
21:41
Speaker 2: me a sign, like these feelings are coming up. I'm
21:44
Speaker 2: no longer in a relationship now, so I'm not distracted anymore,
21:47
Speaker 2: and all of this like sadness and grief and also
21:50
Speaker 2: love is coming forward. I'm like, what do I do?
21:52
Speaker 1: Do I act on it? Do I leave it? Does
21:54
Speaker 1: this mean something?
21:56
Speaker 2: Or is this just me processing the grief that I
21:58
Speaker 2: didn't give myself time to grief before. And so I
22:01
Speaker 2: was like, fuck it, I'm going to book with a
22:02
Speaker 2: psychic it.
22:05
Speaker 1: I well recommend one too from like your family. Oh, Like, my.
22:08
Speaker 2: Sisters been going to her for years and she's just
22:10
Speaker 2: an incredible humor. She's very honest, very direct, doesn't beat
22:14
Speaker 2: around the bush, no fluff, like she will tell you straight.
22:17
Speaker 2: She basically just said to me, like, leave what's in
22:19
Speaker 2: the past in the past, like this isn't meant to
22:22
Speaker 2: come with you, and trust that to remind myself that,
22:26
Speaker 2: like when I feel like something is off, it's off
22:28
Speaker 2: for a reason and I can trust like my intuition
22:30
Speaker 2: is telling me correctly and anyway.
22:33
Speaker 1: So that all aside.
22:34
Speaker 2: Got clarity on that, got clarity on a couple of
22:36
Speaker 2: other people in my life.
22:37
Speaker 1: What does she say about the boys though? That's kind
22:41
Speaker 1: of brutal if you want to say it funny, yeah,
22:44
Speaker 1: she would, which I was like, this is exactly what
22:48
Speaker 1: you need to know. Yeah, other in advance, basically what
22:50
Speaker 1: she said.
22:50
Speaker 2: But she was like, you know, they might have been
22:52
Speaker 2: a good route, but you know, there's no substance. You
22:55
Speaker 2: end up being in a relationship for the next seven
22:57
Speaker 2: years and wondering, holy fuck, like why did I make
22:59
Speaker 2: this decision?
23:01
Speaker 1: You know?
23:01
Speaker 2: And she's like, it's not about that, Like, yes, sex
23:03
Speaker 2: is all great and well, but you're not just in
23:06
Speaker 2: it for a good root And those were her words,
23:08
Speaker 2: like she's like, you're not just in it for that.
23:09
Speaker 1: You want substance. You need depth.
23:11
Speaker 2: There's so much depth to you, and you're going to
23:13
Speaker 2: need someone who's gonna be able to hold you in that.
23:15
Speaker 2: So leave what's like in the past in the past
23:18
Speaker 2: because they're meant to be there for a reason. You're
23:20
Speaker 2: grateful that you had the experience with them. Now let
23:24
Speaker 2: them go, like you won't be able to move forward
23:27
Speaker 2: in your life until you're willing to let go of
23:29
Speaker 2: what's holding you in this exact place.
23:31
Speaker 1: And I thought that was really cool. It was exactly
23:33
Speaker 1: what you needed to hear, because I think incruitively, you know,
23:36
Speaker 1: I do. It's just what you needed to hear at
23:38
Speaker 1: the right time from the right person. Yes, And I
23:41
Speaker 1: think it's just like what we talk about. It's like
23:42
Speaker 1: we can feel something, but it doesn't have to mean something.
23:45
Speaker 1: Best sentence.
23:46
Speaker 2: We say this to each other all the time when
23:48
Speaker 2: we're going through shit, and it really is significant because
23:52
Speaker 2: sometimes we feel, oh shit, I feel this now I
23:54
Speaker 2: better act on it, or I need to make a
23:56
Speaker 2: decision on this quick fast. But you're making decisions out
23:59
Speaker 2: of like an irrational angie reaction actionary place. So it's like, Okay,
24:05
Speaker 2: I can feel this but I don't have to do
24:06
Speaker 2: anything with it. And that's been a huge part of
24:09
Speaker 2: all this.
24:09
Speaker 1: It's such a good sentence. I remember you first said
24:11
Speaker 1: it to me when I was having an argument with
24:13
Speaker 1: Steve and I was just so annoyed. I was like, ah,
24:16
Speaker 1: and I didn't want to say how I felt, but
24:17
Speaker 1: I felt really angry and just like annoyed at him.
24:20
Speaker 1: And you were like, you can feel all this and
24:21
Speaker 1: it doesn't have to mean anything. Yeah, Like doesn't mean
24:23
Speaker 1: you hate him, doesn't mean you want to leave him,
24:24
Speaker 1: doesn't mean that you're off him or anything. You just
24:26
Speaker 1: feel really annoyed right now. And the next I was like,
24:28
Speaker 1: I'm good, Yeah, I can love him. Yeah, thinking yeah,
24:32
Speaker 1: he's it was the best. But just once again, when
24:36
Speaker 1: you allow those emotions to be there, it then dissolves
24:38
Speaker 1: a lot faster. Yeah, because if you shame how you're feeling,
24:41
Speaker 1: or you try to lie to yourself that you don't
24:43
Speaker 1: feel like that, it just like stays there. Yeah I
24:46
Speaker 1: can Ling's like a bad smell. Let it be there.
24:48
Speaker 1: The next day you're like, oh, good, Especially.
24:50
Speaker 2: In the moments when you feel something and then you
24:52
Speaker 2: act on the feeling. When you've calmed down, you're like,
24:55
Speaker 2: holy shit, what have I done?
24:57
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that. Yeah, like,
24:59
Speaker 1: how many times have you gone back to that? X?
25:00
Speaker 2: Oh?
25:00
Speaker 1: Fuck? I definitely act on emotion? And what else did
25:05
Speaker 1: she say about career about life? Yeah?
25:08
Speaker 2: So I asked her about direction in like what I'm
25:10
Speaker 2: currently doing now, and I told her a little bit
25:12
Speaker 2: about like the podcast and what we're doing and like
25:14
Speaker 2: certain things that we're wanting to do like retreats and
25:16
Speaker 2: things like that in the future, and she.
25:17
Speaker 1: Was like, do that.
25:18
Speaker 2: You need to do that. That is one hundred percent
25:20
Speaker 2: one of the avenues that you're going to go down.
25:22
Speaker 2: You need to follow that. And she even connected me
25:24
Speaker 2: with somebody who can help run retreats and things like
25:26
Speaker 2: that in Bali. So we're gonna that's all fun. And
25:29
Speaker 2: she also said that she doesn't see me doing coaching
25:31
Speaker 2: for a long period of time. She's like, I know
25:33
Speaker 2: you love it, and I know you'll be doing it
25:35
Speaker 2: for a little while longer. It'll be the thing that
25:37
Speaker 2: gets you through, but this isn't where you end up.
25:39
Speaker 2: And I thought that was really cool because I genuinely
25:41
Speaker 2: feel that I love my coaching, but I know it's
25:44
Speaker 2: not the end all and be all for me. I
25:46
Speaker 2: think there are bigger things that I want to pull
25:48
Speaker 2: my time and energy into, like she rises, Yeah, and
25:51
Speaker 2: the plan that we've got for she rises, I'm like,
25:53
Speaker 2: this is something that I want to give my all too.
25:55
Speaker 1: But I also love it and it's a big energy exchange,
25:58
Speaker 1: Like I can only compare it to personal training. I
26:00
Speaker 1: was like, Yeah, I loved personal training, but it was
26:02
Speaker 1: so much energy out it is you're working with people
26:06
Speaker 1: hearing all of their life. You're holding so much space.
26:10
Speaker 1: It's a lot, and you're exchanging your energy for time
26:12
Speaker 1: the whole time. So if you don't show up, you
26:14
Speaker 1: don't get paid on it. It's like most jobs, but
26:16
Speaker 1: entrepreneurial mindset, it's just kind of not how your brain works. No,
26:20
Speaker 1: it's not viable long Yeah, as well, there's a lot
26:22
Speaker 1: of opportunity in different pillars we want to lean into.
26:24
Speaker 1: And she also did say to you, which is a
26:26
Speaker 1: really interesting conversation. We're going to have another podcast, we'll
26:29
Speaker 1: save it, but she did say to you that you're
26:31
Speaker 1: going to manage a team and there's someone that you're
26:32
Speaker 1: going to have to really be soft with.
26:34
Speaker 2: Yeah, basically what she said to me. She goes, Tiana,
26:36
Speaker 2: she just kept doing this thing with her hands and
26:38
Speaker 2: she kept like mimicking pushing her hair away from her face,
26:42
Speaker 2: and she looked at me and she goes, Tiana, you
26:44
Speaker 2: need to pull your hair back.
26:45
Speaker 1: You need to get your hair.
26:46
Speaker 2: Out of your face, and you need to roll up
26:48
Speaker 2: your sleeves because you're about to come into so much
26:50
Speaker 2: work that you're not going to be mentally prepared for.
26:52
Speaker 2: She's like, you need to get ready because this is
26:54
Speaker 2: going to be the biggest work season of your life.
26:56
Speaker 2: And she said, it's going to feel like the price
26:59
Speaker 2: is high, but I promise you that the gold at
27:02
Speaker 2: the end of the tunnel is going to be worth it,
27:03
Speaker 2: or the pot of gold at the end, Yeah, it's
27:05
Speaker 2: going to be worth it.
27:06
Speaker 1: And you're in your full hustle season.
27:07
Speaker 2: I feel that I feel like this new found drive
27:11
Speaker 2: and spark and like just like fucking fire, like hunger
27:15
Speaker 2: for what we're creating with. She rises, and I just
27:17
Speaker 2: I see it doing really beautiful, big impactful things, and
27:21
Speaker 2: I'm just like, I'm fucking ready for it.
27:22
Speaker 1: So cool, you know, Yeah, do a whole episode on
27:25
Speaker 1: that coming up in a couple of weeks. Yes, we're
27:27
Speaker 1: going to take you guys more along the journey and
27:29
Speaker 1: what's actually happening behind the scenes, So staying tuned for
27:31
Speaker 1: that because it all looks great from the outside, but
27:33
Speaker 1: there's actually a lot of fucking work to the line
27:35
Speaker 1: of network. I'm going to talk about the things that's
27:37
Speaker 1: like it's costing us and yeah, sacrifices we make, So
27:39
Speaker 1: we'll leave that for another episode. But yeah, it's a
27:42
Speaker 1: really cool I love seeing psychics. I just feel take
27:45
Speaker 1: it with a grain of salt. You really don't know,
27:47
Speaker 1: but sometimes it's just what you need to hear, or
27:48
Speaker 1: it just helps you have more trust and faith that
27:50
Speaker 1: you're on the right path, or opens up your eyes like,
27:53
Speaker 1: oh maybe I could dake that direction, maybe that is possible.
27:56
Speaker 2: Yeah, so what you were saying as well, She did
27:58
Speaker 2: say that I was going to be like leading a
27:59
Speaker 2: team and she was teaching me how to like navigate
28:02
Speaker 2: with these really soft, gentle souls that I'm going to
28:04
Speaker 2: have on the team or something like that, that I've
28:07
Speaker 2: got to learn how to manage them correctly so that
28:09
Speaker 2: i can keep them on the team.
28:10
Speaker 1: She also said that I'm going to be a boy mom.
28:12
Speaker 1: Yeah that's right.
28:13
Speaker 2: Yeah, so you guys are gonna hear it here first,
28:14
Speaker 2: because if this happens, you can come back and be like,
28:16
Speaker 2: oh my god.
28:17
Speaker 1: I listened to the episode. It's oh my gosh. She
28:19
Speaker 1: did say you'll be a boy. Yeah, she said I'd
28:21
Speaker 1: be a boy. I'm only going to have boys.
28:22
Speaker 2: And she said I'm going to have obviously, I'm going
28:24
Speaker 2: to find a man, and this is the man I'm
28:26
Speaker 2: going to have children with.
28:27
Speaker 1: And she even described what he looked like. Babe, yeah, me,
28:31
Speaker 1: that didn't I.
28:33
Speaker 2: He told me, do you know the Salt Bay guy?
28:36
Speaker 1: No, no, the chef. You have to show me your phone.
28:38
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I have to show you.
28:39
Speaker 2: So she basically said he looks like olive skin. He
28:43
Speaker 2: looks like he matches me. So he's got dark haired,
28:45
Speaker 2: dark skin. She said he's very beautiful. But she said
28:49
Speaker 2: he looks like the Salt based chef guy, but more masculine.
28:52
Speaker 1: She's like, not a groom. Okay, yeah, my gosh. Yeah,
28:55
Speaker 1: so that's interesting.
28:56
Speaker 2: And she also asked me if I had had an
28:58
Speaker 2: abortion or a miscarriage, like at all, and I've had
29:02
Speaker 2: one once when I was eighteen. But she said, there's
29:04
Speaker 2: a little around you. She's like there's this little boy
29:07
Speaker 2: energy that is around you all the time, and he's
29:09
Speaker 2: about four years old and he's a part of like
29:11
Speaker 2: your sole team and your soul contract. And I was like,
29:14
Speaker 2: oh my god, that's crazy, isn't it. She's like, he
29:17
Speaker 2: just wasn't meant to be here side because he has
29:19
Speaker 2: other roles to do, and woh cool.
29:22
Speaker 1: Isn't it? Oh my gosh, boy, mom, that's so cute.
29:26
Speaker 2: What a few couple of months it's been. Yeah, it's
29:28
Speaker 2: been like this whole twenty twenty five has been such
29:31
Speaker 2: a roller coaster, but like with such beautiful challenges and
29:34
Speaker 2: then so much gratitude, beauty, expansion, all of it.
29:38
Speaker 1: Yeah, all of it. The duality. Oh my goodness.
29:41
Speaker 2: That's really been our theme for twenty twenty five.
29:42
Speaker 1: It's duality. Like we started talking about.
29:45
Speaker 2: It at the end of last year and then it
29:47
Speaker 2: really cemented in this year of like, holy shit, the
29:50
Speaker 2: things that are happening in our lives and high highs
29:53
Speaker 2: and low lows and like really holding both at the
29:56
Speaker 2: same time.
29:57
Speaker 1: And every single person that I'm close with is going
30:01
Speaker 1: through something really tragic, transformational, unexpected, hard stuff. Yeah, every
30:09
Speaker 1: person that I speak to, it's like really different, but
30:12
Speaker 1: equally like, holy fuck, you're holding that.
30:14
Speaker 2: That's a lot everyone in their own way, right, everyone.
30:18
Speaker 1: Whether it's huge financial loss or big changes in their work,
30:22
Speaker 1: or brief grief, So much grief, so much grief, breakups,
30:27
Speaker 1: sick kids, miscarriage, Yeah, miscarriages, court battles, so much stuff. Yeah, honestly,
30:33
Speaker 1: everyone's going through lots of very heavy energy. We had
30:38
Speaker 1: Chaney on the podcast last year, and she's a psychic
30:41
Speaker 1: energy healer and she was talking about on the Stories
30:44
Speaker 1: the other day, just saying this is a collective thing.
30:46
Speaker 1: She's like, you're not alone. She's going through. Everyone she
30:48
Speaker 1: knows going through it. And she's like, this has to
30:50
Speaker 1: be all stirred up and broken down so that we
30:52
Speaker 1: can like level up into the new era. But you
30:55
Speaker 1: have to go through the shit first to clear it
30:56
Speaker 1: all out. It's like a clean slate.
30:58
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what I've been seeing people say it
31:00
Speaker 2: is online. I've been seeing people call it a quantum crumble.
31:04
Speaker 2: Oh I love it happen that's so cool, like or
31:07
Speaker 2: quantum crumble. It's like when everything in your life that
31:10
Speaker 2: could possibly go wrong goes right because you're in this
31:13
Speaker 2: transformation period of like rebuilding.
31:16
Speaker 1: That's cool. Yeah, I feel that. Yeah, I feel that
31:18
Speaker 1: right whilst holding grief and like Greece is a tricky
31:21
Speaker 1: one because we're talking about this last night, I'm like,
31:23
Speaker 1: when is it not going to not feel so painful? Yeah, Like,
31:26
Speaker 1: I don't know if that ever goes away, Like I'm
31:28
Speaker 1: sure time heals it slightly, but it never goes away.
31:33
Speaker 1: Like I feel like I have more good days than
31:34
Speaker 1: what I did at the start of Rambo's death, of course,
31:36
Speaker 1: And so there is megsy yeah, but it's just always there. Yeah,
31:40
Speaker 1: Like it's always there the moment there's stillness, slowness or silence,
31:44
Speaker 1: it's there and it takes over. Yeah. So yeah, it's interesting.
31:49
Speaker 2: It's not a linear process, is it. No, looks differently
31:52
Speaker 2: for everyone.
31:53
Speaker 1: I've never really experienced grief. I'm very very lucky touch
31:56
Speaker 1: with that. I haven't had a lot of people. I
32:01
Speaker 1: haven't had a lot of people pass Like I've had
32:03
Speaker 1: grandparents that I wasn't super close with. And then I
32:06
Speaker 1: had a beautiful girl called Maddie who did my twelve
32:08
Speaker 1: week Bikini Body Challenge. She passed. I went to her
32:11
Speaker 1: funeral and that was just so devastating. And then I
32:14
Speaker 1: had a guy that I dated who ended his own
32:16
Speaker 1: life that was really sad, but I obviously wasn't super
32:19
Speaker 1: close with him at that point in time. But I
32:21
Speaker 1: haven't lost a lot of people that I've been really
32:24
Speaker 1: plugged into. So Rambos is the first that I feel
32:26
Speaker 1: like I've really felt the depth of it.
32:28
Speaker 2: Yeah, the bucket's a lot. It's really heavy because you're
32:31
Speaker 2: so plugged in too. Make sas it is so plugged in, Yeah,
32:35
Speaker 2: it is. You feel her pain with her, Yeah, just sympathize,
32:40
Speaker 2: you don't just empathize like you're feeling it your l
32:42
Speaker 2: sh see her every single day with her, all the
32:45
Speaker 2: time that you've spent with her over the last like
32:47
Speaker 2: two months, three.
32:48
Speaker 1: Months now, three months, sitting gone for three months. Then
32:52
Speaker 1: I feel guilt because I'm like, I feel so fucking sad.
32:55
Speaker 1: I can't imagine how she's feeling, you know, like, if
32:58
Speaker 1: I feel like this, I'm just imagining what it'd be
33:00
Speaker 1: like for me to lose a child. But she is just,
33:03
Speaker 1: oh man, she is one incredible human. I really is
33:07
Speaker 1: so much. All of her her strength, her perspective, even
33:11
Speaker 1: her willingness and commitment to growth and understanding the brain,
33:17
Speaker 1: understanding grief, taking care of herself, taking care of her
33:21
Speaker 1: nervous system, her partner, her daughter. The way she does
33:24
Speaker 1: this is like, Wow, most normal people don't take care
33:28
Speaker 1: of their bodies and their health and their mindset day
33:30
Speaker 1: to day. For someone going through that and making time
33:33
Speaker 1: and space for that every single day, Wow, it's incredible
33:37
Speaker 1: to watch.
33:38
Speaker 2: She's been committed to her healing, committed but also allowing
33:42
Speaker 2: the grief to come.
33:43
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, if there were to be a book written
33:46
Speaker 1: on how to handle grief, like she should write it. Yeah.
33:48
Speaker 1: She's so incredible. So yeah, I'm so proud of her,
33:52
Speaker 1: I really am. I just know she's going to do
33:54
Speaker 1: something really beautiful to keep his spirit alive. She'll do
33:56
Speaker 1: something in memory of his name. I don't know what
33:58
Speaker 1: it is. I don't think she knows what it is,
34:00
Speaker 1: but I just know she'll do something. So anyways, that's
34:05
Speaker 1: our bit of life. Update. On a flip note, lots
34:08
Speaker 1: of happening behind the scenes where she rises once again.
34:10
Speaker 1: We are going to do the behind the scenes episode,
34:12
Speaker 1: but in a nutshell, we've ben our second event. It
34:14
Speaker 1: was so greod, but we just booked our next event.
34:17
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, god, So this is going to be
34:20
Speaker 1: our biggest event yet. So there's a couple of hundred
34:23
Speaker 1: tickets available. We launched it to the girls who came
34:26
Speaker 1: to the Masquerade event first, and over half the VIP
34:29
Speaker 1: tickets have sold already. Yes, so there's only twenty VIP tickets. Yeah,
34:33
Speaker 1: but it's called She Rises Live. Oh my god.
34:36
Speaker 2: We're so excited. This is going to be such a
34:38
Speaker 2: pivotal thing as well. And you know, if you guys
34:40
Speaker 2: have watched along or you've come to our events, you'll
34:43
Speaker 2: know if you've been to the first one and the
34:45
Speaker 2: second one now, you'll know that they're vastly different from
34:47
Speaker 2: each other. Right, so this next one is also going
34:50
Speaker 2: to be that we want no experience to be the same,
34:52
Speaker 2: and that you're always going to learn new things when
34:54
Speaker 2: you come and you come to an event of ours,
34:56
Speaker 2: and I think this is just a really fun experience
35:00
Speaker 2: for us and for you guys to come along and
35:02
Speaker 2: also to network. We could not believe how many women
35:05
Speaker 2: connected with each other after got each other's social media's numbers,
35:09
Speaker 2: went for drinks, went out for drinks, went out for dinners,
35:11
Speaker 2: or planning girls time outside of the event. It's such
35:14
Speaker 2: a good way for you to be able to connect
35:16
Speaker 2: with others and other like minded women, especially if you
35:20
Speaker 2: are like really craving community right now.
35:22
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you're feeling lonely, stark, like you don't have
35:24
Speaker 1: your people to turn to, talk to, lean on, ask
35:27
Speaker 1: for advice, people that hold you accountable, then inspire you.
35:31
Speaker 1: This is the community. Like these women that come to
35:33
Speaker 1: these events, they want the same thing.
35:34
Speaker 2: Yeah, and especially if right now you're in this phase
35:36
Speaker 2: where you're kind of feeling a little bit stagnant, and
35:38
Speaker 2: you're feeling a bit stuck, and you're feeling a bit
35:40
Speaker 2: like a mare and everything feels a little bit dull,
35:43
Speaker 2: come to our event. It will encourage you and bark
35:47
Speaker 2: something within you that you've been searching for this whole time,
35:50
Speaker 2: and it will help you fast track.
35:52
Speaker 1: Where you're at right now. You know what it does.
35:53
Speaker 1: It's going to do. It's going to activate you. It's
35:56
Speaker 1: going to weigh you the fuck up. It really isn't
35:58
Speaker 1: the best possible way and in a really fun way. Yeah.
36:02
Speaker 1: So the event's going to go for approximately three hours
36:05
Speaker 1: and it she Rises Lives. It's basically a live podcast.
36:07
Speaker 1: You're going to do all the features, really empowering section,
36:11
Speaker 1: the best of you advice. The Freaky Friday, We're gonna
36:13
Speaker 1: have a guest panel. We're gonna have an entertainer, Duna's,
36:17
Speaker 1: Oh my God, VIPs get meat and greet, VIPs get
36:20
Speaker 1: a goodie bag. VIP's get front row. Our friends and
36:22
Speaker 1: family are coming. I just can't wait to be there
36:24
Speaker 1: with you all. It's going to be a whole show.
36:26
Speaker 2: It's going to be incredible, and you know what, like
36:27
Speaker 2: don't expect to come and it just be one of
36:29
Speaker 2: those things where you just sit and listen to us
36:30
Speaker 2: talk for the certain amount of time. It's like there's
36:33
Speaker 2: always going to be something different happening. And that's the
36:35
Speaker 2: fun part is like we have been so committed within
36:37
Speaker 2: she Rises to make sure that we make this work
36:40
Speaker 2: feel so light and fun and playful, just like the
36:43
Speaker 2: way that we do in our everyday lives, and we
36:45
Speaker 2: want to teach you that it gets to be that too.
36:47
Speaker 1: So fun. So if you're listening to this and you've
36:49
Speaker 1: been wanting to come on too on our events, the
36:51
Speaker 1: last two have sold out, So if you've missed out,
36:53
Speaker 1: get your ticket. We've got the general mission and the
36:56
Speaker 1: vip VIP is over half sold out. Yeah, we're going
36:58
Speaker 1: to leave the link in our description. Otherwise, jump to
37:00
Speaker 1: our forum, or it's in our Instagram.
37:02
Speaker 2: Page, or you can just go on a ticket tech
37:04
Speaker 2: and just type in she true.
37:05
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's on ticket tak. Yeah. Thanks for joining us everyone,
37:09
Speaker 1: and we'll catch up. Yeah.
37:10
Speaker 2: Let us know if any of this resonated with you
37:12
Speaker 2: and where you're at in life.
37:13
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you hear about it? Jump on our forum.
37:15
Speaker 1: Let us know what you're going through, like, how's twenty
37:17
Speaker 1: twenty five being for you? Are you guys going through
37:18
Speaker 1: something really crazy as well, because everyone we know is
37:21
Speaker 1: and we'd love to hear from you in there and
37:22
Speaker 1: continue the conversation. Just search she rises on a Facebook
37:26
Speaker 1: and we'll add you in there. Sounds good. See you
37:28
Speaker 1: tomorrow for our best in fie. Oh my god, can't wait.
37:32
Speaker 1: Bye