Latest / Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps / Phone Tap: The Strong Thong

Transcript

Phone Tap: The Strong Thong · Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: It's almost time for your prank phone call. It's Brooke
• 0:01
  Speaker 1: and Jeffrey in the morning. And today we're welcoming a
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: new hire, a guy who's restarting his career because he
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: was laid off a few months ago from his longtime job.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: So now he's transitioning into a whole new field, which
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: is why he's a little bit tentative, unsure of exactly
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: what to expect. That's why we're prepared to welcome him
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: with open arms and include him in a hallowed tradition
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: of Unlike any other company has in the entire business world. Wow.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: That's special. Probably because it violates a lot of policies
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: and rules. Could be a little legal.
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: Whatever.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: He's in it now. And we're going to tell him
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: all about it in your phone tap right now.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: Brooke and Jeffrey's phone taps on the 20s.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: Hello? Hello? I'll be gone.
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: Excuse me. Hello. Hello.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: Hey, who do I have here?
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: This is Harold. Who's calling?
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: My name is Mitch. I work here at My F * * * ed.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: Sorry about the singing earlier. I was just practicing for
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: my family talent show because the theme this year is
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: 80s or Grady's. Oh, okay. Yeah, anyway, the reason I'm
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: calling is because I'm one of your new supervisors, because
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: you were just hired, correct?
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: I'm going to be back in the office next week
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: or so, and then I'll be able to shake your
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: hand in person and give you a little, how's your father?
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: All right. I don't know what that is, but okay.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well, you'll find out. Anyway, I don't know if
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: you know this, but the person that you're taking over
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: for is Is Cliff Armstrong?
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: Yes. I met him. I met Cliff. Great.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: Well, then you probably know his going away party is
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: set for Friday.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: Right. I got the email about that.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: Okay, great. You did. So then you know about the
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: ceremonial passing of the strong thong.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: Strong thong?
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: No, no, no. Strong thong.
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: Strong thong. Right. Can you clue me? I don't know
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: what that is.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: Well, Cliff has been with us for a long time,
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: like seven years. Right. And at his very first office party,
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: things got a little bit crazy. And at the party,
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: he showed us his strong thong.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: I still don't know what a strong thong is.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: Well, you know how his last name is strong. So
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: it's a play off of his name. And Cliff wore
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: it to every work party, every birthday, every company retreat
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: that we had. And since you're taking his place... He's
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: passing the strong thong down to you.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: I see.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: It's quite an honor.
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: Okay. And this is the ceremony for Friday.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: Exactly. So, as your supervisor, I'm just letting you know,
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: when you receive it, you'll need to take it into
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: the restroom, change into it, pound a couple Coors Lights
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: if needed, and then present yourself.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: I mean, you know, I... literally just went through all
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: of our fabulous HR training.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: Oh, I had to do a refresher course on that too.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: I had to take a few zins just to get
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: through it. Right. I don't remember much, just the beginning. And, uh, yeah,
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: that's about it.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: Okay. So, I mean, I don't know if you know,
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: Stacy in HR, that's who I talked to.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: I mean, well, Actually, yeah, on the low, me and
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: Stacey are hooking up.
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: Okay. I'm not sure I should know that either.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: Okay, why are you laughing, though? You don't think I
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: could pull Stacey?
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: This kind of sounds like everything, there was like all
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: kind of warnings on the video.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: You know, honestly, our company has to just show new
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: employees something. And I think we found that video at
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: the Goodwill. Okay. Yeah, but anyway, back to the strong thong.
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: Not only is it an honor for you to wear it,
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: but it's actually lucky.
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: Oh, wow.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: Seriously, business has only gone up, and the one time
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: that I got to wear it, that was the night
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: me and Stacy got to second base in the server room. Oh,
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: my God. We're just keeping the company tradition alive. And listen,
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: I can already tell that we couldn't be passing it
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: down to a better person than yourself. I'm a little jealous.
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah. You got that from this conversation.
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: You seem like you have a good heart, but more importantly,
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: a good lower half.
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: Oh, wow. Sturdy. I'm not sure how to take that.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: I'm getting a sturdy vibe from you down below.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: This is uncomfortable.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: Oh, no, it's actually very comfortable. It's got just the
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: right amount of stretch where you could fit like two
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: people in it sometimes.
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about this
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: conversation is not comfortable.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: Oh, okay.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: And I mean, in all the time I've been talking
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: to everyone at work, everyone I've met, no one has
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: mentioned this.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: I mean, in that case, you're lucky that this is
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: a prank phone call. So you don't have to actually
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: put them on.
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Who is this?
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: My actual name is Jeff from the radio show, Brooke
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: and Jeffrey in the morning.
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: Oh my God.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: Your coworker, Tommy set you up for a phone tap.
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: Holy. I don't know how much my heart is pounding
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: right now. Oh my God.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: Just wait till you put on the strong thong and
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: see all.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: Brooke and Jeffrey's phone taps on the 20s.