Latest / A Life Without Struggle / The Real Cost Of Waiting

Transcript

The Real Cost Of Waiting · A Life Without Struggle

0:01
Speaker 1: My name is Aaron Lindauer, and you're listening to a
0:04
Speaker 1: Life Without Struggle. I'm a wife, a mother of two
0:08
Speaker 1: wonderful children, a two time best selling author, and a
0:12
Speaker 1: highly driven and successful entrepreneur. In my seventeen plus year
0:17
Speaker 1: career as a mindset and health expert, I know what
0:21
Speaker 1: holds women back from a life you only dream about,
0:26
Speaker 1: whether you're a CEO, a businesswoman, or executive. I started
0:31
Speaker 1: this podcast because I have.
0:32
Speaker 2: Been where you are, and I know you want and
0:36
Speaker 2: deserve more out of your life. I believe women are limitless.
0:40
Speaker 2: We just get lost along the way. The process to
0:44
Speaker 2: get you there is the topic and purpose of this podcast.
0:48
Speaker 2: When you understand what you want, you can truly step
0:52
Speaker 2: into a life without struggle. Welcome, and I'm so thankful
0:57
Speaker 2: you're here.
1:00
Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of Life Without Struggle. My
1:03
Speaker 1: name is Aaron Lindauer, and today we're going to talk
1:06
Speaker 1: about a very very deep topic on the real cost
1:10
Speaker 1: of you waiting. You waiting on your goals, you waiting
1:15
Speaker 1: to get started in a coaching program, you waiting for
1:19
Speaker 1: anything that you want in life. Okay, so, how many
1:24
Speaker 1: more summers, how many more vacations, how many more photos okay,
1:30
Speaker 1: and memories. Are you willing to sit out because you're
1:33
Speaker 1: waiting to feel confident? Okay? This is something that I
1:38
Speaker 1: talk about all day every day with women and women
1:41
Speaker 1: who want to see change in their body, but then
1:45
Speaker 1: they're waiting. They're not taking action. Oh maybe i'll find
1:49
Speaker 1: something cheaper. I'll wait till my budget's a little bit better. Okay.
1:54
Speaker 1: So I want to ask you a question. What are
1:57
Speaker 1: you waiting for? Not what diet are you waiting to start,
2:04
Speaker 1: not what are you going to you know, when are
2:07
Speaker 1: you going to lose the weight? But what part of
2:09
Speaker 1: your life have you put on hold until you feel
2:14
Speaker 1: good enough? Okay? Because here's the thing that I've realized
2:18
Speaker 1: after coaching you know now into the thousands of women
2:21
Speaker 1: over two decades, that most women aren't waiting to lose weight.
2:27
Speaker 1: They're waiting to really live to live their life. Okay.
2:32
Speaker 1: So when you've been sitting on the sidelines, when you
2:36
Speaker 1: have said, hey, I want this goal, but you're not
2:39
Speaker 1: going all in, or maybe you had the opportunity to
2:43
Speaker 1: speak with myself and maybe you just said not right
2:48
Speaker 1: now when finances are better. Okay. These are the lies
2:55
Speaker 1: that we tell ourselves we convince ourself when I lose
3:01
Speaker 1: twenty pounds, I'll wear the swimsuit again. I'll take the
3:05
Speaker 1: family photos. Okay, we'll go on that beach vacation. We'll
3:09
Speaker 1: go on the girls trip, We'll look for you know,
3:12
Speaker 1: the job promotion. We'll go you know, start dating again maybe,
3:18
Speaker 1: or just you want to feel sexy again. Or when
3:22
Speaker 1: I lose twenty pounds, I'll let my husband see me naked. Okay.
3:28
Speaker 1: So we've attached our permission to live to a number
3:36
Speaker 1: on the scale, and you've made your happiness so conditional
3:42
Speaker 1: on this one thing. Yet every day we pay the price.
3:48
Speaker 1: So what waiting is really costing you is waiting isn't
3:52
Speaker 1: actually free? Okay. So while so many women come into
3:56
Speaker 1: my DMS, we'll get on a conversation. We'll have a
3:58
Speaker 1: great conversation, connect connect deeply, and you say, well, I
4:05
Speaker 1: just need to wait next month whatever, right after the holidays.
4:10
Speaker 1: I always love that one. But waiting isn't free, Okay.
4:15
Speaker 1: Every month year that you wait, you lose moments, lose
4:21
Speaker 1: moments that you'll never get back, those moments where you
4:25
Speaker 1: just opt to skip the family photos this year because
4:28
Speaker 1: you don't feel good in your own skin. You hide
4:31
Speaker 1: behind the child, right and listen. I can only say
4:34
Speaker 1: these things because I did them myself. Okay. You avoid
4:38
Speaker 1: going to the beach, or you're covered up, hating what
4:41
Speaker 1: you look like. You sit out on these adventures with
4:45
Speaker 1: your kids. I just had my kiddo say to me, Mommy,
4:48
Speaker 1: you want to race, and I was like, all right,
4:50
Speaker 1: here's my bag. Set him down, we're going. And because
4:54
Speaker 1: I could, right and listen, he's still tends so like
4:58
Speaker 1: I gotta show him up before I can't. But you
5:03
Speaker 1: avoid intimacy because you don't feel attractive. Okay, you stop
5:11
Speaker 1: saying yes, and one day your kids aren't going to
5:14
Speaker 1: ask you to swim with you anymore. One day they're
5:18
Speaker 1: going to stop asking you to be in the photo.
5:22
Speaker 1: That one gets me, okay, because your kids don't care
5:27
Speaker 1: about your weight. They just want you to be their mom.
5:31
Speaker 1: They want a mom that feels confident and strong in
5:34
Speaker 1: her own skin. What memories are you missing? Because you're
5:40
Speaker 1: waiting to feel worthy of an investment in something like
5:44
Speaker 1: a coaching program. So your confidence does not come after
5:50
Speaker 1: weight loss. Okay, everybody thinks, oh, I'll lose all this weight.
5:54
Speaker 1: You know, I'm just everything's going to be fine. And
5:57
Speaker 1: this is where a lot of women get this all backwards,
5:59
Speaker 1: is they believe that I'll get confident after I lose
6:03
Speaker 1: the weight. But confidence isn't something that that scale gives you.
6:08
Speaker 1: Confidence comes from keeping the promise to yourself day in
6:14
Speaker 1: and day out. You show up, you honor your commitments,
6:19
Speaker 1: You do the darn workout, you figure out the food
6:23
Speaker 1: that works for you, You become someone you can trust.
6:29
Speaker 1: The scale doesn't create confidence. The actions you do does.
6:35
Speaker 1: So confidence isn't a destination. It's not a number on
6:38
Speaker 1: the scale. It's built in the decisions that you make
6:41
Speaker 1: every single day and the relationship that you put on hold. Okay,
6:48
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go here because most women are never going
6:51
Speaker 1: to talk about these things, and I'm just gonna do it.
6:55
Speaker 1: Your relationship with your spouse is on hold when you
7:01
Speaker 1: continue to negotiate with yourself and getting in really good shape. Okay,
7:08
Speaker 1: you think it's about the twenty pounds, you think it's
7:10
Speaker 1: about the budget, But I want to talk about marriage.
7:15
Speaker 1: So how many women like you have to turn the
7:18
Speaker 1: lights off. You have to be in the mood right,
7:22
Speaker 1: You're under the you know, big T shirt. You don't
7:25
Speaker 1: want to be touched, and you pull away from intimacy
7:32
Speaker 1: and listen, it's not because of your husband, it's actually
7:36
Speaker 1: because of you. And again, I can only go here
7:41
Speaker 1: because I did this too, So before anybody starts throwing
7:46
Speaker 1: spades at me like I was here, Okay, most husbands
7:52
Speaker 1: aren't wishing their wives were just twenty pounds less. That's like,
7:56
Speaker 1: I love you no matter what. If I have a
7:58
Speaker 1: dollar for every time a woman told me my husband
8:01
Speaker 1: loves me the way Yeah, I got you mine do. Okay,
8:06
Speaker 1: they're wishing that you would see yourself the way they do.
8:12
Speaker 1: Your confidence will change your marriage, not because your body changed,
8:19
Speaker 1: but because your energy changed, your presence changed, how you
8:25
Speaker 1: parent changes, how you handle stress changes. One of the
8:31
Speaker 1: best things my husband and I did was invested in ourself. Okay,
8:36
Speaker 1: we were coming out of COVID, very very stressful time,
8:40
Speaker 1: having to actually shut down your business and not knowing
8:45
Speaker 1: what was going to happen next, let alone the financial impact.
8:50
Speaker 1: Then throw two kids in the mix and voila. I mean,
8:53
Speaker 1: everybody has their version of this story, but stress was
8:56
Speaker 1: at an all time high. And this was at a
8:59
Speaker 1: point where where I turned to drinking to cope and I,
9:04
Speaker 1: you know, not making myself help to be this alcoholic.
9:07
Speaker 1: But I kicked him back, and you know, I do
9:09
Speaker 1: enjoy having a good time, and for me, that's you know,
9:12
Speaker 1: kicking back a couple of drinks. But we don't have
9:15
Speaker 1: to either, if that makes sense. But at this particular
9:19
Speaker 1: point of time, it was post the pandemic, and I
9:22
Speaker 1: mean I was a wreck. I put the most weight
9:25
Speaker 1: I'd ever had on my body. But there was something
9:29
Speaker 1: inside of us where I saw another couple that I
9:32
Speaker 1: highly regarded and I was like, dude, you guys are different,
9:36
Speaker 1: Like what's going on? What are you doing? And I
9:39
Speaker 1: started asking more questions and I learned that they had
9:44
Speaker 1: actually hired a coach for themselves. Now this coaching was
9:48
Speaker 1: a little bit different. Most of us knew each other
9:50
Speaker 1: from business relationships and so we had similar business coaches
9:55
Speaker 1: that helped us with our business. But he said, man,
9:57
Speaker 1: this is totally different. This is all your head. And
10:00
Speaker 1: I was like, dude, I'm good, and he was like no, seriously,
10:03
Speaker 1: like this will change your life. And so I looked
10:06
Speaker 1: into it and it came with a price tag that
10:09
Speaker 1: was like more than college for some people, or more
10:12
Speaker 1: than a car let's put it that way. And I
10:15
Speaker 1: remember telling my husband, Hey, I really like think this
10:18
Speaker 1: is going to either make or break us, and I'd
10:21
Speaker 1: like to give us a shot. Are you in? And
10:25
Speaker 1: we really didn't have the money, just being genuine, And
10:28
Speaker 1: it was one of those investments where I even had
10:31
Speaker 1: to put it on two different cards because I was like, well,
10:33
Speaker 1: we don't have that kind of room on a line
10:35
Speaker 1: of credit. So I was like, well, okay, fine. That
10:39
Speaker 1: investment changed me forever, It changed my husband, it changed
10:45
Speaker 1: our relationship. Was I scared to do it?
10:49
Speaker 2: Hell?
10:49
Speaker 1: Yes, But here's one thing that I know about myself
10:53
Speaker 1: is I trust myself. If I'm going to invest in something,
10:56
Speaker 1: I'm going to do it wholeheartedly. How many of you
10:59
Speaker 1: have waffled with an investment on yourself because maybe you
11:03
Speaker 1: didn't go all in, maybe you didn't connect, maybe you
11:09
Speaker 1: didn't feel like the program was working okay, And what
11:14
Speaker 1: that does is that can wreck confidence. But one thing
11:19
Speaker 1: I want to install in you is you make good
11:21
Speaker 1: decisions that every time you choose to invest in yourself, Hell,
11:26
Speaker 1: every time you choose to take a vacation. I mean,
11:29
Speaker 1: we have installed a belief that every time we take
11:31
Speaker 1: a vacation. We make money, and that there's nothing wrong
11:35
Speaker 1: with that, But how many times do we pinch and
11:38
Speaker 1: save and this and that and we never enjoy life. Now,
11:42
Speaker 1: this isn't Aaron saying, hey, go blow the farm. But
11:46
Speaker 1: on the other hand, how many times have you been
11:49
Speaker 1: scared to hand over the credit card because yet didn't
11:53
Speaker 1: know if it was gonna work? Okay, fair, you know
11:56
Speaker 1: I didn't know. I didn't know if it was gonna work.
11:59
Speaker 1: But you know what I did know that I was
12:00
Speaker 1: going to give it everything I had and I was
12:02
Speaker 1: going to show up. I was going to ask questions,
12:05
Speaker 1: do the in person events, and we did. And this
12:10
Speaker 1: was a season where I didn't recognize myself. Okay, this
12:14
Speaker 1: was where I was working out, I was doing all
12:16
Speaker 1: the right things, my clothes were super tight. I didn't
12:19
Speaker 1: feel like me. But looking back, I'm so grateful that
12:25
Speaker 1: I went through this time and space because it changed myself.
12:30
Speaker 1: It changed my husband, it changed our marriage, changed our business,
12:35
Speaker 1: it changed our kids. The way we parent is totally
12:39
Speaker 1: totally different, totally different, and I'm not going to say
12:42
Speaker 1: I've got it all figured out over here, but we
12:46
Speaker 1: definitely parent very, very differently. So your life isn't going
12:53
Speaker 1: to pause while you wait for the right time to
12:57
Speaker 1: get your you know what together? Okay, and this isn't
13:01
Speaker 1: about losing weight, but it is okay because this is
13:07
Speaker 1: when you show up for yourself every single day. Okay,
13:11
Speaker 1: every day you're figuring this out. Every vacation. How many
13:15
Speaker 1: time I can't even tell you how many times I've
13:16
Speaker 1: had women tell me, well, Aaron, I'm going on vacation
13:21
Speaker 1: and I'm going to try to do better. I'm like, well,
13:24
Speaker 1: what is that? What does better even mean? Okay, let's
13:27
Speaker 1: let's define that. How about you go on vacation and
13:31
Speaker 1: just be the woman that you are. You know how
13:35
Speaker 1: to nourish your body. You can splurge and have you
13:38
Speaker 1: know something that maybe you don't normally have who cares, right,
13:42
Speaker 1: But it's not gonna blow your whole plan. You're going
13:46
Speaker 1: to get your workouts in. That one always flabbergasts me,
13:50
Speaker 1: is like, oh yeah, we're going on vacation and ps,
13:52
Speaker 1: I'm not working out intentionally. I'm like, Wow, we've gained
13:56
Speaker 1: so much ground and you're just gonna be like poof,
13:58
Speaker 1: I don't care. You know what's funny is we're actually
14:01
Speaker 1: getting ready to go on a vacation personally. And I
14:04
Speaker 1: was talking with my husband last night and I said,
14:07
Speaker 1: have you ever thought about going on vacation and just like,
14:12
Speaker 1: to hell with it, I'm going to eat all the things.
14:15
Speaker 1: And he just kind of looked at me and he
14:16
Speaker 1: was like, what is wrong with you? I go no,
14:18
Speaker 1: I'm just I'm genuine, I'm asking, and he goes no,
14:22
Speaker 1: And I said, well, this is an interesting conversation that
14:25
Speaker 1: I have been having over and over again where we
14:31
Speaker 1: have to truly look at food differently. Okay, we don't
14:35
Speaker 1: have to gorge ourself. We don't have to have every
14:39
Speaker 1: dessert that's presented, we don't have to have all the
14:44
Speaker 1: drinks right, but plan okay, have a reasonable breakfast, lunch,
14:50
Speaker 1: dinner cool okay, but try to be protein forward and
14:55
Speaker 1: if you want to have a dessert, cool or maybe
14:58
Speaker 1: you just need a bite or too, and you can
14:59
Speaker 1: call today. So how you show up in your day
15:04
Speaker 1: to day shouldn't be any different than what you do
15:08
Speaker 1: on vacation. Maybe you indulge a little bit more, but
15:11
Speaker 1: it doesn't derail you. And we certainly still do our workouts.
15:16
Speaker 1: For example, where we're going, I know is not going
15:18
Speaker 1: to have access to a gym, so we just simply
15:22
Speaker 1: pack bands. We adjusted our workouts this week so that
15:26
Speaker 1: we hit all of our major lifts. And so now
15:28
Speaker 1: guess what go on vacation. We're going to swim, hike,
15:32
Speaker 1: you know, walk on the beach, do all the things
15:35
Speaker 1: active with the kids, go snorkeling, you know, normal stuff.
15:40
Speaker 1: But you don't get derailed because you go on vacation.
15:45
Speaker 1: And listen, I want to talk a little more emotional here.
15:50
Speaker 1: Your future is not promised. Okay, this is one is
15:54
Speaker 1: going to be emotional. None of us know how much
15:56
Speaker 1: time we have. Okay, we assume that we will have
16:01
Speaker 1: another summer. We assume there's another Christmas. We assume another anniversary,
16:09
Speaker 1: we assume another family vacation. But none of that, none
16:14
Speaker 1: of that's promised. So why are we postponing our joy?
16:21
Speaker 1: Why are we waiting to deserve happiness? If this was
16:26
Speaker 1: your last summer, would you spend it hiding, feeling uncomfortable
16:33
Speaker 1: in your own skin, wearing the cover up when you
16:36
Speaker 1: really don't want to? So I want to urge you
16:41
Speaker 1: to become her now. You don't need to wait until
16:44
Speaker 1: you're twenty pounds lighter. Need to start becoming her today,
16:50
Speaker 1: the woman who moves her body appropriately, laughs, feels good
16:55
Speaker 1: in her own skin, takes the picture. Where's the bathing's too? Books,
17:00
Speaker 1: the trip, holds your husband's hands, initiates sex. Right, Let
17:07
Speaker 1: yourself be you, because becoming this new version of you
17:14
Speaker 1: is what eventually creates the physical transformation, not the other
17:18
Speaker 1: way around. So the action steps that I want to
17:23
Speaker 1: give you from listening here watching this today is I
17:28
Speaker 1: want you to do one thing that you've been avoiding
17:31
Speaker 1: because of your health, weight loss, goal, frustration. And so
17:37
Speaker 1: maybe it's buying the suit that makes you feel good. Okay,
17:41
Speaker 1: maybe it is scheduling those darn family photos. Things get expensive.
17:46
Speaker 1: Where are the dress that makes you feel good? Book
17:49
Speaker 1: the trip because you want to go on a date
17:53
Speaker 1: night with your husband? Okay, jump in the pool with
17:57
Speaker 1: your kids. Oh my god, I did that the other
17:59
Speaker 1: day and I'm like, oh my god. Take the flipping pictures, guys,
18:04
Speaker 1: but don't wait on yourself. And if you've been struggling
18:08
Speaker 1: to get this weight off in this perimenopause menopausal space
18:12
Speaker 1: of life, hire the dang coach. Obviously I'm biased, preferably
18:17
Speaker 1: me and just being genuine like I know what I'm doing.
18:23
Speaker 1: I've been doing this for two decades. I've owned my
18:26
Speaker 1: own business for eighteen years, almost nineteen, and I understand
18:34
Speaker 1: women in this forty fifty sixty plus space of life
18:38
Speaker 1: because I've been doing it a hot minute. And guess what,
18:41
Speaker 1: I'm forty three. I'm not some influencer out here on
18:45
Speaker 1: the internet. I don't have a bajillion followers. Okay, I'm
18:49
Speaker 1: just a girl from a small town who came to
18:52
Speaker 1: the big city never left because they had mals and
18:56
Speaker 1: which now I'm like, I want to be out on
18:58
Speaker 1: the acres again. But but I'm a girl who gets
19:02
Speaker 1: it because I am you. I did have weight on
19:06
Speaker 1: my body, very frustrated, not understanding what was going on,
19:11
Speaker 1: and when I finally put all the pieces together, I
19:14
Speaker 1: flip and lost ten pounds in like a month. This
19:18
Speaker 1: is now what I do in my coaching program is
19:21
Speaker 1: I help woman after woman after woman truly get out
19:26
Speaker 1: of their heads. Okay, understand what works with your body
19:32
Speaker 1: in this phase of life and your hormones. Okay, so listen,
19:37
Speaker 1: the future you isn't going to remember what the scale said.
19:42
Speaker 1: The future you is going to remember these memories that
19:45
Speaker 1: you created. The ones that you're missing right now. Okay,
19:51
Speaker 1: the future you is going to remember the people you loved,
19:55
Speaker 1: the adventures you took, the moments you said yes to yourself.
20:01
Speaker 1: So your life is happening right now while you're waiting
20:05
Speaker 1: for this scale to move. So I want you to
20:09
Speaker 1: imagine yourself eighty years old. I want you sitting with
20:14
Speaker 1: your grandkids, flipping through old family photos, and I want
20:20
Speaker 1: your first or let me ask you this. Do you
20:24
Speaker 1: think your first thought would be? Man, I wish I
20:27
Speaker 1: would have lost fifteen pounds sooner? Or will it be? Man?
20:31
Speaker 1: I was so glad I was in the picture and
20:33
Speaker 1: that I felt good in my own skin. Look how
20:36
Speaker 1: confident Grandma looks. I'm so glad we took that trip.
20:41
Speaker 1: Those memories are forever. I'm so glad I got in
20:45
Speaker 1: the water with my kids. These things matter. I'll never
20:50
Speaker 1: forget last year when we took a trip. Similar times
20:54
Speaker 1: this year that we're doing right before school starts, and
20:57
Speaker 1: I remember we've made renting a boat, and we've made
21:02
Speaker 1: that part of our budget that we want to take
21:05
Speaker 1: our kids out and experience this. My husband and I
21:08
Speaker 1: love the water, and you know, I'm thinking our kids
21:11
Speaker 1: like the water too. But the captain said, hey, how
21:17
Speaker 1: strong a swimmers are your kids? And I'm like, whoa,
21:19
Speaker 1: We just spent the last year learning how to swim.
21:22
Speaker 1: And he goes, oh, okay, cool, and oh my god.
21:25
Speaker 1: He dropped us in this like mangrove area. And when
21:29
Speaker 1: the kids got in, you know, I could see the
21:31
Speaker 1: trepidation and so I held Leo's hand, live held on
21:35
Speaker 1: to Tony's. And the cool thing is is we went
21:38
Speaker 1: with the current, and that's what he was referring to, like, hey,
21:41
Speaker 1: how strong she. You're in saltwater, so you're going to
21:43
Speaker 1: be buoyant. But when we got in. Now, I've had
21:47
Speaker 1: the privilege of scuba diving and going scuba diving in
21:51
Speaker 1: some really flipping cool places thanks to my dad. My
21:54
Speaker 1: dad and I had a thing ever since I was thirteen.
21:57
Speaker 1: I went scuba diving with him every spring, and I mean,
22:00
Speaker 1: I've seen all kinds of cool things, and so when
22:04
Speaker 1: we got in this water, I was like, oh my gosh,
22:07
Speaker 1: this is amazing for snorkeling, right, And the coolest thing
22:11
Speaker 1: was there were so many starfish. Now, when you think
22:15
Speaker 1: of starfish, you think like the orange, or at least
22:17
Speaker 1: I did. There were purple, there were green, there were yellow.
22:21
Speaker 1: I didn't know that there were different colors. And the
22:23
Speaker 1: kids were just you know, through the snorkel, oh, you know,
22:27
Speaker 1: doing the squealing and it was just the coolest thing ever.
22:31
Speaker 1: And when we got back on the boat, which nobody
22:34
Speaker 1: wanted to get back in the boat, which was great,
22:37
Speaker 1: but I just remember looking at Tony and I'm like,
22:39
Speaker 1: I'm so glad we did this, Like this is going
22:42
Speaker 1: to be something that they will literally remember forever. And
22:46
Speaker 1: that's what I want you to understand is when you
22:49
Speaker 1: invest in yourself, when you hire a competent coach, you're
22:54
Speaker 1: never going to look back and say, gosh, I wish
22:56
Speaker 1: I hadn't done that. Especially when you show up for
22:59
Speaker 1: your You're disciplined, you ask the questions, you get everything
23:05
Speaker 1: possible that you needed from your coach, and of course
23:08
Speaker 1: you see the results. So I want you to imagine
23:12
Speaker 1: yourself at eighty years old and how proud and accomplished
23:15
Speaker 1: you're going to feel. Okay, your body deserves your care,
23:21
Speaker 1: but your life deserves your presence. Don't sacrifice one while
23:26
Speaker 1: chasing the other. Okay, hire the competent coach and never
23:32
Speaker 1: look back.