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Transcript

Why Women Second Guess Themselves Even When They’re Brilliant · The Sharon Francisco Show

• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, and welcome to the Sharon Francisco Show.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: Why we second guess ourselves, even when we know we're great at what we do and we still second guess ourselves.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: So you might have experienced this yourself or you've seen it happen in other people.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: A woman in a meeting, she shares an idea.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's a good idea, it's a great idea.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: And it kind of lands for just a little bit lightly, no big reaction.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: Then a few minutes later, somebody says almost exactly the same thing.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: And suddenly everyone's nodding.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: That's a great idea.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: We should do that.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: And there's this moment where you think, hang on a minute, I just said that.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I'm not saying this to make anyone or anything wrong or point fingers at anyone.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's just something I've noticed over the years of both working in corporate and owning my own business.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: And when you start noticing it, you start seeing it in other places as well.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this is not again about blaming anyone.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: Most of the time, no one even realizes this is happening.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: But in moments like that, they add up those moments because over time you start to question yourself and you start to hold back a little bit when you start seeing this happen.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: You soften how you say things and you wait to be more sure about what you contribute.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to share something with you because this is a kind of thinking that doesn't start in boardrooms or in meetings with, you know, people when you're in business and such.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: In many country communities, traditions run really deep.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: There's a way things are done.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: And most of the time, no one questions the way things are done.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's not written down anywhere, it's not debated, it's just understood, and everyone follows the rules.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: So on the land, one of those traditions is really simple and has been very kept simple along the way.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: The first son in a family is offered the property.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: No discussion, no negotiation, just expectation that's carried through generations.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: And for a long, long time, it made sense in that environment.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: It kept things stable, predictable, and orderly.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: But what's interesting is this when something is repeated often enough, when it's all you see around you, it stops feeling like a choice.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: It just starts feeling like this is just the way we do things around here.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the power of tradition.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: Not because it's right or wrong, but because it just goes unquestioned ever.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: And this is what I see now.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: That thinking doesn't just stay there, it follows us.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: Because what I see in business every single week is women who are incredible at what they do, working hard, caring deeply about their clients, and yet quite often they undercharge, they overdeliver, they second guess themselves, and they hold themselves back from being seen.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not because they're not capable at all or that they don't know enough or that they're not ready.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's because somewhere along the line, in their previously on their journey, they've been conditioned to be helpful, not powerful, conditioned to be liked, not respected, to be reliable and not visible.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: I can't do this.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: This is not a good podcast.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: Don't do this one, Chaz.