Latest / Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage / Arsenal

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Arsenal · Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage

0:01
Oh, God. Let me bring up my ever so important
0:24
notes about this movie. Oh, good. Somebody took
0:27
them. Directed by Stephen Miller. A very great
0:29
name. Yeah. Timely. Yeah, right. Timeless. Timeless.
0:34
One of the greats. This is Steven with a V, though,
0:38
so I think he's like the good kind of Steven.
0:41
Steven? I feel this way about the Phillips that
0:44
spelled their name with two L's. It's like they're
0:46
kind of aberrations. Yeah, so they're usually
0:50
like, I'm just imagining them over there twirling
0:51
their mustaches and whatnot. I mean, I have a
0:55
disdain for any Sean who spells their name phonetically.
0:58
Are you talking like with a W? Yeah. With an
1:02
A? What the fuck is that? I embrace... Doesn't
1:07
your name have an A in it, though? Yeah, but
1:10
in the wrong... Wait, it's in the third spot.
1:11
Fuck! Are you one of those Sean's who spells
1:14
his name C -H -O -N? Sean. Hi, Sean. I knew it.
1:20
I knew there was something you were keeping from
1:21
me. That is a power move. You're right. I embrace
1:25
all Nicks. All Nicks are good in my book. Every
1:27
Nick is a good Nick. Yeah. Three I's. There's
1:30
never been a Nick I haven't liked. N -I -Q -U
1:33
-E is a valid way to spell Nick. Yep, that's
1:36
fair. That's repulsive. Get out of here. If that's
1:39
how you like it, that's how I like you. What's
1:41
the name of this movie again? Arsenal. Has anyone
1:45
figured out why it's called Arsenal? Because
1:49
I sure couldn't tell you. No, there's no reason
1:52
it should be called Arsenal. This is kind of
1:54
like there was a movie that we watched with a
1:56
guy. Guy Ritchie. Guy Ritchie. Guy Pierce. No,
2:00
it was Guy Pierce. Guy Ritchie directs. Guy Pierce
2:02
is an actor. Because we had the conversation
2:04
where I thought Guy Ritchie was Guy Pierce. And
2:06
I did, too. And still do, apparently. And that
2:09
movie, like, it should have been called The Hungry
2:13
Rabbit Jumps or whatever. Oh, yeah. And for whatever
2:15
reason, it was called, like, Trespass or some
2:18
shit. Like, I can't remember what it was. Like,
2:20
Killing Zone or some bullshit name. Like, what
2:22
the fuck was it? It's one of the things that
2:24
makes me wonder if they wrote the script in a
2:26
completely different language, like non -English.
2:29
And then in translation, it got switched over.
2:31
Or was it just a bizarre choice that somebody
2:34
made? This has the stink of like AI writing on
2:38
it, even though it can be. Oh yeah, definitely
2:40
pre. But it just has that kind of just, there's
2:44
no real structure. There's just archetypes of
2:47
characters. it's just like now it's time for
2:52
this beat in the story with no actual like build
2:55
to it i think my favorite example of that yeah
2:59
we'll talk about it later but there's so much
3:00
just a character does exposition and sets up
3:03
the rest of the plot for the other characters
3:05
and you're like here i'm solving this problem
3:07
for you i will say off the top my favorite example
3:11
of all right it's time for the next beat is oh
3:14
yeah this movie ends now Speaking of things that
3:20
should have ended a long time ago, welcome back
3:23
to Cage Magical and a roundabout way of meeting
3:24
Nicolas Cage. I'm your host, Sean, here with...
3:27
One of many Nicks. Any spelling counts. Yeah,
3:31
all Nicks. And our producer. Peter, hello. And
3:35
our special guest, my brother. I'm Peter's brother,
3:39
Philip, spelled with one L, very important. I
3:41
will hold a grudge if you spell your name with
3:43
two L's. Philip. How do you spell Peter, Peter?
3:48
Three T's. Yeah. That's it, actually. No other
3:52
letters. So one L, wouldn't that actually just
3:57
be like Philippe? I don't know. I think the two
4:01
L's really gives you that Phil -lip sound. It's
4:04
true. Which I like. I remember when we were at
4:07
the first restaurant we worked at, my joke nickname
4:09
was Full Lips, and Peter will know why that's
4:12
funny. Because they're thin as fuck. True. And
4:22
so this week on Cage Match, we are discussing
4:25
Arsenal with Nicolas Cage and John Cusack, who
4:31
we get to see them again, but not together this
4:33
time. They exist in different places. Third movie
4:37
together, but they don't do anything together
4:39
ever. What was the second movie together? Well,
4:43
so obviously there's Con Air, and then there
4:46
was... Oh, that's right. Frozen Ground. Frozen
4:49
Ground, yeah, right. I was thinking Looking Glass
4:50
for some reason. Yeah, Frozen Ground, where he
4:52
plays a real fucking creepo. I don't know why
4:55
it completely spaced on Con Air there. Because
4:57
I was thinking Frozen Ground, but that's probably
5:00
because their faces have swollen to unrecognizable
5:03
growth. I'm just glad John Cusack didn't have
5:06
white guy dreads. oh yeah that would be pretty
5:10
cool though i don't know when he shows up in
5:12
that first scene with the do -rag just in the
5:13
car and i'm like i i honestly hope that two minute
5:17
conversation was going to be all we saw of john
5:19
cusack for the whole movie and that was just
5:21
him there so they could put his name on the poster
5:23
i was pretty happy with what he was doing for
5:26
most of the movie Where he's just sitting back
5:28
and doing fuck all and just being John Cusack,
5:31
collecting that paycheck. And then he got into
5:32
the action. I was I was annoyed. I didn't want
5:34
that. I wanted him sitting on the porch. I wanted
5:36
him riding up in the car. I wanted him just kind
5:38
of sitting around. My favorite part of John Cusack
5:43
in this movie is his real inconsistent five o
5:46
'clock shadow from scene to scene, including
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scenes that take place within a three minute
5:51
span. Like when when they. When they go to dude's
5:58
brother's house, he has a much darker mustache
6:01
than he did in the scene before it. Sure. Yeah.
6:04
So here, let's run the characters down real quick.
6:06
So we've got Adrian Grenier as JP and his big
6:10
brother is Jonathan Shaq, who I have literally
6:14
never seen in any movie ever. That's Mikey. And
6:18
then Nick Cage as Eddie King reprising his role
6:20
from Deadfall. Kinda. uh did he die in deadfall
6:24
yeah he got friolated man yeah uh john cusick
6:30
is sal uh who's like a narco kind of fucking
6:34
cop yeah some kind of detective and then my favorite
6:38
guest star christopher coppola nick cage's brother
6:40
as eddie king's brother buddy amazing performance
6:44
so fucking terrible uh also director of uh deadfall
6:49
right i I think it was Deadfall. Did he direct
6:52
Deadfall? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, that makes
6:55
more sense. Now, is this the first movie that
6:58
the brothers have shown up in together or have
7:00
acted in together? He's he did. He bought he
7:04
body doubled for Nick Cage in adaptation. Damn,
7:08
that's a deep cut. When the when the twins had
7:11
scenes together, he would like body double for
7:13
Cage. Yeah, nice. We need to stand kind of three
7:16
quarters into this shot. yeah but don't look
7:19
we need some of that coppola butt i will say
7:23
i do love how they got nick cage's brother to
7:28
be in this to play his brother in the movie and
7:29
the way you know their brothers is because they
7:31
both have the worst fake facial hair you've ever
7:34
fucking seen yeah that mustache that they put
7:37
on chris is just so bad it's so bad the goatee
7:41
that's about like a centimeter to the left where
7:43
it should be i was saying while we're talking
7:45
weird face stuff uh Is there an in -universe
7:49
reason for why Eddie King needs such an intense
7:53
nose prosthesis? I was trying to figure that
7:55
one out. I don't know if this comes from the
7:57
previous movie that he was in or what. Yep. So
8:00
I have a running theory that Nicolas Cage, whenever
8:03
he does a role as a favor, he, in his writer,
8:08
puts in big fake nose. Because he's done it a
8:12
few times. And it's always one of these things
8:14
where he's like, in the like you can tell he's
8:17
doing this as a favor to someone so i don't know
8:19
if he just gets off on it or if it helps him
8:22
like get into character but it's a thing he does
8:24
yeah i think it's telling that saturn wasn't
8:27
one of the uh producers i know one of the five
8:30
producers even he kept his name kind of out of
8:34
it for for people who listen to the deadfall
8:37
episode you already know this but in that movie
8:40
He plays Eddie King, who's this like unhinged
8:42
kind of criminal agent and chaos agent who's
8:45
like all obsessed with this deck of cards he
8:46
has. That's all jokers. He has a wig and a fake
8:51
mustache and a fake nose. And at the end of it,
8:55
he gets a great spray tan. And at the end of
8:57
it, he gets friolated. He gets put into a fryer
9:00
and is dead. But then this movie happens after
9:05
that, like at least theoretically. Yeah, I mean.
9:09
It's possible he survived friolation and then
9:12
needed more fake noses and just got bigger, deeper.
9:16
We really fucked up the RPG episode without having
9:21
like a multiversal Eddie King. Holy fuck. There's
9:27
no saying you can't do another RPG episode, right?
9:30
That's true. It's going to be Eddie King's all
9:32
the way down. We all play. We all play Eddie
9:34
King. Yeah. Which version of Eddie King are you?
9:38
Eddie King is a virus that's slowly taking over
9:40
every individual human on the planet. I mean,
9:43
Bobby Peru is kind of a virus, too. So it all
9:46
works. This is kind of like Nick Cage's Bobby
9:49
Peru. Sort of. Philip, you get the the wonderful
9:54
job of summarizing this movie for our dear listeners.
9:57
So take it away. The most dubious honors. I appreciate
10:00
that, brother. speaking of brothers um i don't
10:04
know if you guys know but this is a movie about
10:06
brothers uh so you can say it's about it's about
10:09
brother love it's about brother love it's a little
10:11
bit about brother hate too as we as we will see
10:14
but uh yeah it's mostly about brother love and
10:17
uh it's about some new orleans brothers crime
10:20
brothers and then some mississippi brothers some
10:23
good old boys so we've got these two mississippi
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brothers who like a good old -fashioned arcade
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and they like playing baseball these american
10:31
pastimes and they also incidentally like slapping
10:34
the shit out of each other while calling one
10:36
another the r word that was that was fun it was
10:38
definitely placing us in the the early 2000s
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i was like hmm yeah that's quality writing you
10:43
know you know you've got a good writer when when
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they're dropping the hard r So it's also a movie
10:51
about brothers who fight. And it's mostly also
10:55
about two Coppola brothers who really like eating
10:57
pecans. So that's kind of where we're starting.
11:01
So to kick it off, the movie brothers are little
11:04
brother J .P. Lindell and big brother Mikey Lindell.
11:08
I just was assuming that they were part of the
11:11
Lindell pillow empire. Yeah, the MyPillow empire.
11:16
It's unconfirmed in the movie. Maybe distant
11:19
relatives. They look like they vote Trump, you
11:21
know. They do. They do. Yeah. So in an unnecessarily
11:25
long flashback, we see the boys living life together
11:28
in the late 90s. They're going to the arcade.
11:30
They're using their quarters. Very importantly,
11:36
it's established that little brother JP never
11:40
gets quarters from big brother Mikey. He's very
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stingy. He'll never give his little brother quarters,
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except when, sadly, tragedy strikes. The uncle,
11:50
who's kind of the guardian for the boys, he shoots
11:53
himself. And so Mikey gets on the scene. The
11:58
big brother sees everything, protecting his little
12:00
brother from that. vision that gory vision he
12:03
uh gives him quarters finally and sends him back
12:05
to the arcade to play and this is like their
12:07
origin story very deep and i just wanted to bring
12:10
this up because i think uh quarter this movie
12:12
is the quarter motif and money as a metaphor
12:16
for something and i'm not really sure what i
12:20
think the movie doesn't really know what it's
12:22
a metaphor for yeah so he he goes to the arcade
12:26
and then mikey shows up to the arcade too And
12:30
in the back of the arcade is just like a murder
12:32
hole. Like what? I completely forgot how this
12:35
all linked together. When I was writing up these
12:37
notes, I was going, wait, how the hell did Mikey
12:39
get to the arcade now, too? I thought he was
12:41
dealing with the dead uncle and everything. But
12:44
yeah, they keep setting up the back of the arcade
12:46
with these plastic sheets and using it to murder
12:49
people. So they don't lay the plastic sheets
12:52
out in any way that keep blood off of anything.
12:55
There's a cool sheet maze. Yeah, it's just a
12:57
sheet maze, which looks very fun. I had a weird
13:01
thing. I meant to go back and rewatch this, but
13:03
got distracted by life. But in that opening,
13:08
when Mikey's going through the arcade, I like
13:11
look down to like make a note on my phone. I
13:13
looked up, then it looked like he was in a strip
13:15
club. I'm like, what? And then he was in the
13:17
sheet and then the plastic sheet maze. Did I
13:20
like blink and like miss something? I think it's
13:22
a classic Biloxi arcade strip club murder sheet
13:27
maze. Also, they got their money's worth on that
13:30
sheet maze set because they use that same set
13:34
a lot. I think Eddie King just really appreciates
13:37
a good sheet maze. Yeah. These are now two things
13:40
that I know about Biloxi, that they're known
13:42
for joint strip club arcades and also shucking
13:46
oysters. Hell yeah. Go shuckers. Shuck, shuck,
13:51
shuck, shuck. I don't know if anyone has seen
13:55
the. Japanese and or Chinese poster for this
13:58
movie, but it's fucking badass. I don't know
14:02
if I saw that one. No, looking up the foreign
14:05
posters for films hasn't been a priority yet,
14:09
but it will be now. Yeah, I know this like this.
14:11
The poster, this poster looks so much better
14:14
and makes this movie look so much more interesting.
14:17
Are you looking at the one with featuring Nick
14:21
Cage holding a gun and there's flames all over
14:23
the place? Yeah. yeah that does look way better
14:26
and adrian grenade the actual star of the movie
14:30
is just like a tiny little icon in the corner
14:32
i mean let's be honest yeah it's where he belongs
14:35
yeah i just realized this whole movie technically
14:38
is a flashback because the first scene you know
14:43
you're in for a good time before the uh before
14:46
the title card where you just have the main character
14:48
standing in a shipyard cocking a gun title flashback
14:54
to children 20 some years later and then an hour
14:58
later we're back to standing in a shipyard cocking
15:01
a gun 23 year jump is a pretty substantial time
15:05
jump for a movie like a lot of shit has happened
15:08
obviously but it it doesn't help you give a shit
15:12
about either of these characters no no there's
15:15
a whole thing where you like start on the action
15:17
start at the most interesting part and This movie
15:21
feels like it's everything but the most interesting
15:24
part of this movie. There was a scene in here
15:29
that really pissed me off for some reason. And
15:30
I don't know why it's just like stuck in my craw.
15:33
And it's JP comes home to his wife and they have
15:36
like a new kid or something like that. And she's
15:38
in the tub and. He's just like, we're going to
15:42
like, fuck. And this is awesome. And he climbs
15:45
into the tub fully dressed. Yeah. He's wearing
15:49
his jeans. Like he's fucking RFK Jr. It's like,
15:53
bitch, you are in your own home. Just take your
15:55
clothes off and climb in. this this also happens
15:59
in man the second superman movie uh the second
16:03
zack snyder superman movie batman v superman
16:05
there's a whole scene where like clark can't
16:06
fully dress gets in the bathtub and i'm just
16:08
like was this a thing in the late 2010s like
16:12
in movies i just can't imagine all that what
16:14
i wonder if jp's wife had to cut him out of those
16:18
jeans after the fact you know they're gonna you're
16:21
gonna swell you're gonna get stuck in those things
16:23
yeah it's a disaster What if they had to take
16:26
that shot multiple times? They didn't have multiple
16:29
gene budget. I mean, they had the slow -mo budget,
16:35
so... It was really embarrassing when he ripped
16:38
ass during that scene, too. They just had to
16:40
keep it. It was the only take. This movie's the
16:43
first time we've ever gotten Chekhov's flashbang
16:45
in a movie. Mm -hmm. Well, he tried to sell it
16:50
at the pawn shop. Right. and the guy was like
16:53
what the fuck is this he's like it's a flashbang
16:55
it's like what am i gonna do with a flashbang
16:57
yeah well there's a scene later in uh the house
17:01
and yeah it goes off and you wouldn't know it
17:03
unless you've been paying attention to this movie
17:05
which i did which is one more than i've got for
17:09
it i was in and out i'm gonna be honest with
17:10
you i'm just gonna say at top i kind of loved
17:15
this film for how just bad it was like just no
17:20
no two scenes look like they belong in the same
17:23
film no like there's no real character development
17:26
you're just told to care about people you don't
17:29
uh jp's whole motivation is he's my brother and
17:33
then you just kind of have this like very dull
17:36
run -of -the -mill suspense thriller and then
17:42
jp's niece gets backhanded by her boyfriend as
17:47
she's opening the front door to leave his place.
17:50
And JP first time, this has happened to the whole
17:53
movie. Slow -mo just kind of like comes through
17:56
the door and just boots, dude. I thought Plex
18:02
was fucking up because of the slow -mo. Cause
18:04
I'm like, at no point did they do that before?
18:08
And then it comes in later, uh, two more times
18:11
where they just cut to like artful slow -mo.
18:15
For no reason. Artful is doing a lot of heavy
18:18
lifting in that statement. We'll talk about the
18:20
other slow -mos later because those are worth
18:21
talking about. But apparently this director is
18:24
known for his high -octane action scenes, I think
18:29
is what IMDb says. They called him high -octane?
18:33
High -octane. Jesus. Not even close. No. One
18:37
of the shots I did like was the toilet cam. Sorry,
18:40
I know. I always love a toilet cam. Fucking set
18:43
it up. god damn it i like that shot though like
18:47
it was kind of horrifying but you know watching
18:49
that guy get drowned yeah i like the idea of
18:53
the toilet cam a lot so for context no context
18:58
no context mikey's uh like is giving a guy a
19:02
swirly and every time he like sticks his head
19:04
to drown him in the uh In the toilet, it cuts
19:07
to a very bright lit shot from inside the toilet.
19:11
So the lighting's all fucked up and it completely
19:14
ruins it for me. You don't have a ring cam in
19:17
your toilet? Yeah, lighting's important when
19:19
you've got a toilet cam. This is how you have
19:21
to evaluate your stools. Yeah, stools. PSA time.
19:29
Yeah, you should look in your own shit to see
19:32
what's going on. Oh, man. staring at a barrel
19:36
of a gun just slow motion watching it go off
19:40
can you imagine a slow motion toilet cam shot
19:44
are we talking about this movie or are we talking
19:46
about your toilet again oh it can be both Yeah,
19:51
so, all right, what did we do? We did the flashback,
19:53
and we come back to modern day, and it's all
19:55
the establishing the relationship between Mikey
19:58
and JP. JP's very successful. He's got his own
20:02
business, a $350 ,000 business, by the way, just
20:06
in case you were wondering. But he has the wife,
20:08
the newborn, the big house. And meanwhile, Mikey,
20:12
I think, I can't remember if Mikey had moved
20:14
out for a while and then came back to Biloxi.
20:17
I think he was military. yeah he was military
20:20
okay he was in the marines or something and we
20:23
know that he was he had been working for eddie
20:25
king before uh but we'll get into that later
20:28
but so he got out of that situation he went to
20:30
the military came back um and so yeah that's
20:34
kind of the situation with those two different
20:35
different uh i mean great character work you
20:38
have the perfect guy and the guy who's a fuck
20:41
up uh i mean no notes uh so yeah mikey's making
20:45
it struggle uh struggling to make Try that again.
20:48
Mikey is struggling to make ends meet and pay
20:50
child support to his ex for his teen daughter,
20:52
Alexis. And, you know, he's refusing work at
20:57
JP's office company and all that business. So
21:00
the plot kind of kicks off when John Cusack's
21:04
character, Sal, who I. generally did not realize
21:07
was a cop until about halfway through the movie
21:09
uh he's they had to put a badge on him because
21:12
it was so unclear what his what his job was and
21:15
what the fuck he was as a character you don't
21:17
even establish his relationship to them as this
21:20
movie is all exposition like everything kind
21:23
of just goes along and then later they're like
21:25
wait we need to explain that because uh mikey's
21:29
in trouble because he buys some coke which is
21:32
where sal shows up to tell jp and then like 15
21:36
minutes later they have to explain that he got
21:38
the money from the coke from jp because it was
21:40
a loan to help him like get on his feet but he
21:43
wanted to double his money and just they have
21:45
to exposit everything after the fact because
21:48
the plot makes no sense yeah it's like ostensibly
21:51
to buy his daughter some braces which then made
21:53
me only think of the simpsons dental plan you
21:56
know it's also interesting that they they never
22:01
seem to want to let the viewers hate mikey for
22:04
too long it's sort of like oh we can't he's a
22:07
bad dude but we can't really make him a bad dude
22:10
we got to make him redeeming and so you can only
22:11
be disappointed in him for about five to ten
22:14
minutes like thinking you know well we'll get
22:16
to later when he's meeting with eddie king but
22:17
thinking that he's actually working with eddie
22:19
king and then another you know exposition dump
22:22
where it's like oh actually he's not he's been
22:24
kidnapped after a massive run around with between
22:28
John Cusack and uh and JP between Sal and JP
22:32
they're going around and talking to well i'm
22:34
sorry no no that's good that is one of my favorite
22:38
lines in this movie is they asked the guy that
22:40
like broke into the house about some somebody
22:42
else and they're like yeah i know that ginger
22:44
bitch yeah what's the guy's name too is it it's
22:48
like rusty or is it rusty i was i think it was
22:52
rusty classic ginger nickname so also when we
22:58
see rusty the one thing i did not notice about
23:00
him was the color of his hair he's ginger right
23:03
he didn't look like a ginger to me when he was
23:05
robbing him he looked like he had like dark brown
23:07
hair they needed that toilet cam light maybe
23:10
he got recast after they filmed that shot of
23:13
him like saying oh that ginger bitch oh god wait
23:18
we gotta back up a second are you saying that
23:19
brothers there's a good one and a bad one philip
23:22
always yeah i don't i thought you knew this fuck
23:26
i mean you and i you and i are here so we can
23:29
just throw it onto the third brother and be like
23:31
it's it's him it's clearly not either one of
23:33
us and then when i'm with him i say the same
23:34
thing about you it's the constant pointing at
23:37
each other triangle i love it does anyone out
23:40
this whole conversation just making me think
23:42
of the rick and morty episode uh intergalactic
23:45
tv it's like two brothers where there's two brothers
23:48
and then they're brothers and they're in a truck
23:50
and they're brothers and there's a meteor two
23:52
brothers That about sums up the plot of this
23:56
movie. You did a way better job summarizing this
23:58
than I just did. Well, that actually, like, the
24:01
inanity of that is exactly what this movie was.
24:03
Like, so Mikey gets kidnapped, quote unquote.
24:07
It's all bullshit. And JP calls him and it's
24:09
like, hey, Mikey, it's me, JP. It's like, you're
24:13
on the phone, you fucking moron. JP can't be
24:18
his government name. And it annoys me that even
24:21
when it's an emergency and he's running out of
24:25
the house, his wife still just calls him JP.
24:27
Like at no point do they say his actual name.
24:30
His government name apparently is James. I don't
24:33
know his middle name, though. P. What's oh, it's
24:37
Mike Lindell. Never mind. Yeah. Yeah. Holy shit.
24:41
What kind of pillows do you guys have? I got
24:45
a real flat, shitty pillow. That's how I sleep.
24:48
Yeah. I like to suffer a little. It's awful.
24:52
I have a $300 pillow. Best purchase I ever made.
24:56
Yeah. Josie's got a real expensive pillow, too.
24:59
Every once in a while when she's not around,
25:00
I'll take a nap with it. And then I like try
25:03
to put it back where I found it. So let's see.
25:08
We'll get into Eddie King in a little bit. I
25:11
don't know why that story made me laugh, but
25:13
it did. It's a really bad story. Hey, man, they
25:18
can't all be bangers. That's true. OK, so we'll
25:21
get into Eddie King in a little bit. But I wanted
25:23
to talk about Adrian Grenier as the main character.
25:26
Who is that? Dude, he fucking sucks so much.
25:29
So he was like notably only from the movie or
25:32
the TV series Entourage. Oh, OK. Oh, yeah. He's
25:36
the main character from that. Yeah. And he's
25:38
supposed to be like the hottest shit. He plays
25:40
Aquaman in the series and he's like everybody
25:42
wants him and he's a great actor and everything.
25:44
But like clearly not true. I don't know what
25:49
it is about that guy. He has nothing. There's
25:52
like no charisma for me. He doesn't provide a
25:54
lot on the screen. He's not like tough. You know,
25:56
there's that scene where he don't fucking lie
25:58
to me and he slaps the wall and it's like that
26:00
was soft as shit. Yeah. I think they threw a
26:05
baseball cap on this guy because he's got such
26:07
a baby face. So it's like, oh, we got to cover.
26:09
He doesn't look convincingly threatening when
26:11
we're having him bust down doors and stuff. So
26:12
just put a cap over it, cover it up. Slow -mo.
26:16
Mm -hmm. I have no idea what any of these projects
26:19
he's been involved in since this movie. Love
26:22
at First Glance, Miles from Tomorrowland, Affairs
26:26
of State. Nope. And so on. But yeah, I mean,
26:30
it's interesting because like this is still like,
26:32
Sean, you've got that pulled up. When was Entourage?
26:35
Because that's like early 2000s, right? Yeah,
26:38
2000, 2000, 2011. Yeah, right. So like he hasn't
26:43
been relevant now at this point for six years.
26:47
And is the leading man in this? It's like, I
26:50
think it's showing. The Entourage movie came
26:53
out in 2015. So there's like a four year gap
26:56
between the show and the movie. And then two
27:00
more years to this. Four year gap. Just enough
27:03
time to make the people hungry for more. Hungry
27:07
for that Grenier. Did they finally produce Medellin?
27:13
Was that the movie? That was the movie. I haven't
27:17
thought about that word in fucking years. I cannot
27:21
believe that you pulled that. Yeah, I'm vaguely
27:24
remembering. I had a girlfriend in college who
27:26
was really into that movie or a show. Who was
27:29
your guy? Oh, Dom. dom wasn't actually part of
27:34
the core crew he was the friend like the childhood
27:37
friend who comes back and he's a real piece of
27:39
shit like the first episode they have him there
27:42
he's just like banging out this chick super loud
27:45
in the mansion but like with the door wide open
27:48
so nobody can do anything but hear him yeah he
27:53
looked like uh oh what's that guy from the shield
27:57
Michael Chiklis. He looked like Timu Michael
27:59
Chiklis. Timu Michael Chiklis. Yeah. Excellent.
28:04
Were you a turtle guy? I don't know. I mean,
28:08
a turtle in the early seasons was kind of fun.
28:10
And then he became sort of like they tried to
28:12
make him a sweetheart or something like more
28:14
of a romance character or something. It was better
28:17
when he just like smoked weed and drove around.
28:19
Yeah. OK, you know what's sadder than than his
28:24
IMDb post this movie? John Cusack. Cause it's
28:27
the same amount of movies and I've not heard
28:29
of a single one of these films either. Oh no.
28:31
Yeah. That's a rough go. Yeah. It's too bad.
28:35
Like you got to get that money, right? I suppose.
28:38
Yeah. Got to get your quarters for the arcade.
28:43
Okay. So we, we established that. So big brother,
28:49
Mikey. Got a brick of cocaine to sell to get
28:53
some money to support his daughter, get her braces,
28:55
apparently, which I completely forgot. And he
28:59
that gets stolen. He eventually, you know, tracks
29:02
down the people and ends up in the strip club
29:05
with Eddie King and his crew. So this is Nick
29:07
Cage's character, Eddie King. And they start
29:12
talking. Eddie says he owes that Mikey owes him
29:15
money from, you know, back when they were working
29:18
together. and he wants to use mikey's connection
29:22
to jp to extort uh jp for money because as previously
29:26
established he has a 350 000 whatever business
29:30
he has i don't know he's some kind of construction
29:32
construction like a yeah he's a general contractor
29:35
i have a question though and it's going to take
29:37
us all the way back to the braces again because
29:39
we're not going to move past that today it's
29:41
the most important part of the movie so yeah
29:43
alexis If you're going to borrow $10 ,000 for
29:47
braces from your brother, or if you're going
29:50
to borrow $10 ,000 from your brother and you're
29:52
going to use it to buy cocaine, why would you
29:55
choose something that is so visibly not getting
29:59
taken care of? Like, I need $10 ,000 for my daughter's
30:03
braces. Oh, by the way, I'm bringing her to the
30:05
barbecue later, so you'll totally know that she
30:07
doesn't have braces. She's just eating ribs.
30:09
Yeah, just loving ribs. Not a care in the world.
30:14
Did I say braces? I meant Invisalign. Yeah. I
30:19
don't know. That seems like Mikey wasn't really
30:22
a thinker. I don't know. First clue. He looks
30:27
like low rent Joe Manganiello. Yeah, I kept getting
30:33
that vibe throughout the whole thing. So actually,
30:36
speaking of Joe, though, like this movie reminded
30:38
me of the movie Joe a little bit, but like bad.
30:41
Like this is everything that. could have been
30:44
shitty about that movie that wasn't you know
30:47
it's like it's shot fairly well it's not terrible
30:51
but it's just not good yeah yeah fun this whole
30:57
movie i was so caught up in like fun yeah i'm
31:01
amazed that sean this is one that you were like
31:03
that's all right i'm not because it always turns
31:06
out to be the movies that i'm not into i actually
31:10
i actually enjoyed it oh no okay i was we were
31:15
so at about the 25 30 minute mark i'm ready i'm
31:19
just kind of like all right this is and then
31:23
we got to slow mo door kick and i'm like this
31:27
is gonna get weird i'm i'm back in yeah i don't
31:32
know i think Before we even got out of the flashback,
31:35
I already had phone in hand and I was getting
31:38
occupied elsewhere. I was like, we'll just get
31:40
back into this when Nick Cage shows up. So let's
31:44
get into that. That man knows how to make an
31:46
entrance in this. We get a sure does reservoir
31:49
dogs where he's like torturing a guy and then
31:52
he takes a lead pipe in the guy's mouth and then
31:54
baseball bats that lead pipe into dude's skull.
31:58
Yeah. Oh, that was the first slow -mo. Yeah.
32:00
Yeah. What's the song that's playing every time
32:03
that he kills somebody in the plastic maze? It
32:05
was a glory, glory, hallelujah. I can't remember
32:07
which one was. The first one was definitely glory,
32:09
glory, hallelujah. I don't remember if they did
32:12
it every time. So it's not the same song every
32:13
time. OK. If it was, it didn't stick in my brain.
32:17
Yeah. And church songs always get stuck in my
32:21
brain. So. Oh, yeah. They're real earworms. You
32:27
guys had church songs? We didn't have songs in
32:30
my church. We were Catholic. No, we were Catholic,
32:33
too, and we had lots of songs in our church.
32:35
Half of the church was songs. It's mostly songs.
32:38
How many ways can you sing Amen? Yeah, they give
32:43
you a whole book of just songs, and they expect
32:46
you, they put a little clipboard, or not a clipboard,
32:50
like a little marquee up there for you to know
32:52
which songs you're going to have to sing that
32:53
day so you can go through and preview. we like
32:58
we had psalms it was more spoken word and just
33:00
kind of like muttered under your breath oh man
33:03
i mean we had a lot of that shit too but we had
33:06
like a band oh like you had actually like a guitar
33:08
musicians and shit wow I just always think back
33:14
to good bonding moments with you, Peter, are
33:16
every Christmas that you would be in town and
33:19
we'd go to Mass. For whatever reason, there was
33:21
one song, I don't remember if it was, you'll
33:23
probably remember which one it is, Joy to the
33:25
World or something. There was a verse in that
33:26
where the entire congregation would fuck up the
33:28
lyrics to it and sing it wrong. And they would
33:30
just kind of muddle through the end of the verse
33:32
and we would just be cracking up. I think it
33:35
was Joy to the World. Because it's it's one of
33:39
these things where they like cram too many letters
33:41
into the cadence of the music can handle. And
33:46
like a musician can do it, but like the hoi polloi
33:50
can't fucking handle it. And they all just like
33:52
eat shit every time. And it is so funny. Oh,
33:56
let's be honest. This was like this was like
33:58
11 o 'clock, you know, mass on Christmas Eve.
34:01
And so we're getting close to midnight by this
34:03
time. People had had their nog before they got.
34:05
Oh, yeah. To the church. So there's a little
34:07
bit of that there, too. You also get the communion
34:09
wine. The rosy cheeks and noses. Communion wine
34:12
will always fuck you up. Sweet, sweet communion
34:14
wine. Ugh. The worst. The only thing to counteract
34:19
those weird -ass dry wafers. Sorry, I mean, body
34:22
of Christ. Yeah, those dry -ass bodies of Christ.
34:26
Or is it body of Christ's? I was bummed that
34:29
you couldn't dip them into the wine. Like, that
34:31
was kind of a no -no. What a shame. You just
34:35
have to lightly moisten it and press it to the
34:37
roof of your mouth, and then you shot your wine.
34:39
That's how you do it. Oh, did you guys have little
34:42
cups? No, we had to do the chalice or whatever.
34:46
Yeah, same. So I totally forgot. Speaking of
34:50
John Cusack needing white guy dreads, Eddie King's
34:53
henchman does have white guy dreads. It's true,
34:55
yeah. That guy. Yeah, man. He seems like a piece
35:00
of shit. Yeah, he did seem like. But then they
35:02
like try to make it seem sympathetic because
35:04
he's got like a kid. Does she need braces? Lisa
35:09
needs braces. Oh, no. Then I'll plan. But he's
35:14
also like known Mikey for years and he doesn't
35:16
want to kill him. But Mikey's just got to like.
35:20
Play along. OK, so that gets me to my my last
35:23
question about this movie before we talk about
35:25
Eddie King and Nick Cage, because that's why
35:28
we're here. They let JP infiltrate the arcade
35:34
strip club. Plastic sheet maze. Yeah. Why? Why
35:39
do they let him go free his brother? Well, he
35:42
didn't. How did he know where to find him? This
35:44
is what I was saying earlier, where like this
35:46
movie just decides it's time to end because it
35:49
just cuts to him untying his brother. So that's
35:54
actually the only reason that the flashback exists.
35:58
Yes, because he gives him the quarters in the
36:00
flashback. Then when he does the proof of life
36:03
conversation, Mikey says something about like
36:06
quarters. And that sets JP off on the quarters,
36:10
quarters. What do we do with quarters? We put
36:14
them in arcade machines and the arcade. That's
36:17
where the exposit. every plot point six times
36:21
that's the one that jp doesn't bother to be like
36:25
i remembered uh this place behind the arcade
36:28
uh where we saw that dude get murdered in the
36:32
murder hole in the murder well i mean i guess
36:34
if you figure oh they've got my brother where
36:39
would they keep him in the arcade behind the
36:41
titties Or in the murder cave. Probably the murder
36:46
cave. Also, do they ever see Alexis get saved
36:49
or is she just fine at the end? Who cares? She's
36:52
just fine at the end. You're right. She's a vegan.
36:55
Gross. But she eats a burger at the end. Good.
37:01
Because, yeah, they so they go, they save Mikey
37:04
and then slow -mo gunfight. And I just want to
37:08
be the one to say it. Shotgun to the dick. mid
37:12
-air slow -mo jump guy gets shotgunned right
37:16
between the legs yeah you follow the shotgun
37:19
straight into the junk yeah yeah i'm glad you
37:23
got there and eddie king gets like shot and jp
37:29
like rocks up oh and i do have one more thing
37:31
to talk about this rocks up cocks the shotgun
37:33
points it at him hard cut to like happy family
37:37
at the barbecue barbecue yeah exactly nothing
37:40
says somebody like consequences for their rampage
37:45
no no cops no nothing everyone's just happy at
37:48
the end even though there's like a definite trail
37:52
of like yeah police interaction for him because
37:56
he talked to an undercover cop at one point he
37:58
talked to sal all about these problems everyone's
38:02
happy hard cut to let's go play let's brothers
38:06
playing baseball yeah credits go shuckers and
38:10
okay i got a question how many baseballs did
38:13
he bring out with him because if you're gonna
38:14
go out and just hit balls like okay there's only
38:18
two of you so if he hits it past the pitcher
38:21
like you're gonna have to go get it so we just
38:23
constantly pulled a second ball out of the thing
38:26
but like how many baseballs do you bring and
38:28
how annoying is it to just like have to like
38:30
stop after 30 seconds of ball to go spend two
38:35
minutes picking up balls halfway across the field.
38:37
Sorry, Mikey, you drilled that one too fucking
38:39
far. Yeah, that sucks. Yeah. Fuck you, Mikey.
38:42
Yeah. Mikey was the pitcher. Classic. All right.
38:46
Eddie King. Eddie King. So it's a pretty crazy
38:53
performance from Nick Cage on his spectrum. I
38:56
mean, he's definitely something. he brought all
38:59
the eddie king energy back like it like it was
39:01
just yesterday when he recorded deadfall i mean
39:04
deadfall was definitely more unhinged but i think
39:07
that was partially because like the audio of
39:10
it was fucked up and like they it was a cheap
39:12
production you know and they they like didn't
39:15
capture it as well as this maybe but he evolved
39:20
it over time too i mean deadfall was like 94
39:23
yeah so he's been thinking about eddie king in
39:27
the back of his 93 eddie king's been in the back
39:29
of his mind king lives there he's probably perfecting
39:32
that role over and over again i'm ready for the
39:35
next eddie king film bring him back baby yeah
39:37
whose brother will he be murdering that time
39:41
so philip you didn't you didn't see deadfall
39:44
but see i don't know i was a little let down
39:46
because no i didn't i didn't i saw the no i was
39:50
just gonna say i didn't see deadfall and so you
39:52
sent me a clip of or i guess it's a what do you
39:55
call it like a supercut Yeah, super cut. You
39:58
sent me a super cut. And it was all the zany,
40:00
very cagey moments. And I was kind of expecting
40:03
a bit more of that when I went in. So I had to
40:05
say I was generally disappointed in his performance
40:08
because he played it pretty even keel until the
40:11
scene where Buddy comes in, his brother. And
40:15
that was a completely different that that was
40:16
immaculate. I loved every moment of it. And it
40:19
was it completely it made the movie for me. But
40:25
yeah, I was I was generally let down otherwise
40:26
that he was just kind of even keel. I liked how
40:30
Eddie King's brother also had his own plastic
40:33
murder room. Well, listen, they got it from their
40:37
dad at some point. You know, everybody inherits
40:40
their first plastic murder room from their dad.
40:42
Yeah. What a nice day that was. That's how they
40:46
do it in New Orleans. So that's a problem, though,
40:48
with brothers, though. It always goes to the
40:50
eldest. Yeah. I don't remember a lot of basements
40:53
in New Orleans. Well, this was Biloxi. Oh, okay.
40:56
I don't think there's a lot of basements in Mississippi
40:58
either. That's probably true. How many strip
41:02
club arcades were there in New Orleans? Do you
41:04
know, Nick? Have you seen many of those? I'm
41:07
willing to assume that I saw at least two. It's
41:10
got to be a non -zero, right? Yeah, a non -zero
41:12
amount of them. But I'm willing to go back and
41:15
get a definite number if you need me to. Yeah,
41:17
we need the research. Yeah. OK, so, yeah. God,
41:22
Eddie King. He has that weird like letter to
41:25
his brother. There's the great monologuing. I
41:29
mean, I was trying to think about this. Sean
41:30
and I talked a while ago about like, why does
41:32
Nick Cage do these movies? So like to me, it
41:35
seems like there are certain scenes that he really
41:37
wants to do. And that one felt like that. And
41:39
then also he likes fake noses. Yeah. that seems
41:43
right i wonder if this was his like they needed
41:48
they needed someone that could get nick cage
41:50
for a decent price and nick cage is like cool
41:52
i'll be in this film but i get to play this character
41:56
like you forced eddie king to be in this movie
41:59
like because he didn't produce this he didn't
42:03
write it so it's not like someone came up to
42:04
him like we got a deadfall sequel for you he
42:06
had to ask for that to do that role I don't know
42:09
how you can ever say deadfall sequel. Yeah, exactly.
42:14
Like I'm assuming that Eddie King exists in a
42:18
world kind of like Mad Max, where it's just other
42:20
people telling their Eddie King stories. Yeah.
42:23
And you've all run into an Eddie King. And, you
42:26
know, maybe you think you killed him in your
42:28
story, but everybody else still has stories where
42:31
they think they killed him too. I put him in
42:33
a fucking fry later, man. He's like the Jason
42:35
Voorhees of like fake nose, big mustache. Bad
42:39
wig. Yeah. Gravel voices. I do love that wig.
42:44
That's such a good look. Yeah. That fucking helmet
42:47
hair with the stupid mustache and the big nose.
42:53
Maybe I'll get that tattooed on me. On my face.
42:57
I so I was feeling the same as Philip early on
43:02
in this film when we first see Eddie King. It's
43:05
just like it's played pretty even keel. It's
43:07
not. that interesting and i'm like all right
43:10
and then we get him meeting with his brother
43:13
uh the brother takes eddie to kill him in the
43:19
second murder hole the second plastic murder
43:21
room because there's too much heat on eddie so
43:25
then eddie has caucasian dreadlocks show up to
43:30
back him up and then he beats his brother to
43:32
death and that's our third slow -mo scene and
43:36
it's just like This artfully like Eddie just
43:40
like smashing his brother's skull and just whipping
43:43
blood all over the room. Yeah, there's a lot
43:46
of like weird jelly, grape jelly kind of blood
43:49
going everywhere. It's thick. It's viscous. It's
43:52
very viscous. You reminded me of one of the notes
43:54
I wrote when I the shotgun scene with the uncle.
43:57
I'd forgotten about that completely. I was like,
43:59
oh, strawberry jam. I should mention that on
44:01
the pod. Nobody gives me the raspberry. during
44:06
the final shootout we get another uh we get a
44:09
spit ticket guy getting shot in the face and
44:10
him like just spraying jam out of his mouth towards
44:13
the camera oh super gnarly yeah yeah and then
44:16
like to pause there for a second that was they
44:18
clearly like they built a model and they're putting
44:21
a lot of work into this thing i'm just thinking
44:23
like what was the budget of this movie i don't
44:25
know if you have that up peter but they clearly
44:27
sunk all of their money into that kind of stuff
44:29
you know the the hyper realistic violence the
44:31
ultra slow -mo and i'm just so desperate to know
44:35
how much of the budget went into that kind of
44:37
bullshit i couldn't find the actual budget for
44:39
this but what it pulled in was 41 000 so So,
44:46
yeah, it did not do great. People did not enjoy
44:49
this movie for reasons. It's rated a 3 % on Rotten
44:53
Tomatoes, which, like, this is his second lowest
44:57
rated movie other than Left Behind. Completely
45:03
unjustified. I think it deserves way more than
45:05
a 3 % on Rotten Tomatoes. It's easily a 12, you
45:09
know, like. Some people just don't enjoy art.
45:14
This was so much better than we were talking
45:17
about earlier before we started recording. We
45:19
were talking about Rage. What is it? Tokarev.
45:23
My God, that movie was one of the worst things
45:25
I've ever seen. Such a fiasco, except for the
45:27
ending, which was immaculate, which is what was
45:30
the moral like teenagers, dumb teenagers don't
45:33
play with guns like PSA. So good. The moral of
45:38
that movie is crime jackets are cool. Crime jackets
45:40
are cool, though. I mean, let's get fucking real.
45:42
Crime jackets are cool. That's right. That's
45:45
what this movie was missing, a crime jacket.
45:47
It's totally true. OK, so here this is a non
45:51
sequitur for everything. Nick, what is the correct
45:54
amount of Worcestershire sauce to celery in a
45:57
Bloody Mary? Yeah, I have never, never in my
46:02
life thought the celery needed to balance the
46:05
Worcestershire. I'm guessing like three dashes
46:10
per inch. Okay. Yeah, that sounds about right.
46:14
Inch per dash. Yeah, that seems reasonable. Inch
46:17
of celery. Submerged depth or? Full celery stick.
46:21
Total because you're going to eat it. Yeah. OK,
46:23
that's fair. They weren't even talking about
46:25
horseradish, which is like that's really the
46:28
main player in a good Bloody Mary. You got to
46:30
fuck with the horseradish. That's your balance
46:32
right there. I'm inclined to agree. Yeah. Yeah.
46:36
I prefer a horseradish over a hot sauce. So hot
46:39
sauce. Absolutely. Peter knows how much I love
46:42
horseradish. Our first time at Vegas. uh buffet
46:46
i went and got a soup a soup bowl to fill with
46:49
horseradish sauce because the ramekins weren't
46:52
doing it for me i was making those ramekins that's
46:55
that's fantastic yeah but was it like creamed
46:58
horseradish because they cut that with sour cream
47:03
they might have been yeah the guy at the carbon
47:05
station gave me a look yeah this is how they
47:10
knew to fuck This is how they knew to take the
47:12
shrimp away. People eat shrimp can get fucked.
47:16
Sean, we know you because of you. I'm sure if
47:19
you go back there, they're like, ramekins only.
47:21
It was a sign that they can tap. It's a really
47:25
sketchy, sketchy image of you on the poster.
47:31
Just ladling. Jokes on that I was a guy last
47:34
time. Yeah, there you go, right? There you go.
47:40
uh okay so let's do let's do some favorite quotes
47:43
um philip you want to kick it off oh yeah uh
47:46
i feel like i'm gonna pick everybody's favorite
47:49
quote but well it was a tough one it was a tough
47:52
one between uh both come from the same scene
47:54
buddy and eddie are uh you know talking to each
47:58
other they're meeting up because buddy wants
48:01
to well i guess we find out he's gonna kill his
48:03
brother but it was mostly because apparently
48:05
for the mob it is beyond the pale to extort someone
48:10
i couldn't figure out why it made no sense in
48:12
the movie to me maybe it's because he's a good
48:13
old mississippi boy yeah um but so i wanted to
48:18
do the line about eddie after he finds out this
48:22
brother's gonna kill him but i i think truly
48:25
the the most sublime and perplexing line for
48:28
me is buddy says talk travels fast in new orleans
48:33
just like tourists do Completely inscrutable.
48:41
Like what the fuck does this mean? I've been
48:43
thinking about this since I watched this stupid
48:45
fucking movie and I can't figure this shit out.
48:47
What the fuck does that mean? Talk travels fast
48:50
in New Orleans. just like tourists do what does
48:53
it mean that tourists travel fast in new orleans
48:56
are there too many tourists coming or do they
48:58
go through new orleans too fast and they don't
49:00
appreciate the local arts and architecture i
49:03
have no fucking idea what this means and i absolutely
49:05
love this line so that's my pick i like it sean
49:09
did you have one i did not have a favorite like
49:12
oh there were so many bangers oh i just none
49:15
of the none of them spoke to me like at no point
49:17
was i'm like i at no point did i like reach for
49:19
my phone to write one down yeah i can't say this
49:22
movie inspired me to uh remember anything from
49:25
it oh shit are you guys serious i mean i can
49:29
i can just do rapid fire here there's some hit
49:32
me with some more whoa wait i got my favorite
49:35
one all right all right all right hit me I don't
49:38
remember exactly when it happens, but at some
49:40
point, Mikey is talking about video games or
49:41
JP is or whatever. And Nick Cage's Eddie King
49:44
just goes, video games? You always were a pussy.
49:48
That was good. There's also the golden dildo
49:54
one. I can't remember how that set up goes, but
49:56
he's talking to the shopkeeper. And yeah, that
49:59
was pretty. I think you can take that 6K and
50:01
buy yourself a golden dildo, et cetera, et cetera.
50:03
But I don't really remember how that. i think
50:06
you got the gist i think you got this yeah but
50:09
no my other my other runner up was um so eddie
50:13
i had to put subtitles on for this one because
50:15
i couldn't quite catch what he said when it happened
50:17
but eddie uh finds out that buddy's gonna kill
50:20
him and he turns it around on him and he realizes
50:23
this and he goes oh Oh, my brother's trying to
50:27
kill me, man. All right. Excellent moment. Just
50:33
exposition for no fucking reason. This movie
50:38
rules. Yeah. Worth every percent of its three
50:42
percent rating. I did. I enjoyed the whole the
50:45
whole ride. Like when I initially sat down, I'm
50:48
like, all right, 90 minutes. I can get through
50:50
this. And I was here for every every second of
50:53
it. All right. So let's see. Do you guys have
50:56
anything else you want to say about this movie?
50:59
I think it's weird that this and Deadfall follows
51:04
such a structure about brothers because Deadfall
51:08
was all about like, oh, go out and find my twin
51:12
brother. You never knew I had and whatnot. And
51:16
now it's like, oh. Now it's two brothers trying
51:19
to do this. And then Eddie King's got a brother
51:21
who's played by Nicolas Cage's brother. It's
51:25
brothers all the way. Yeah, it's too many brothers.
51:27
It was distracting for me. Well, it's good that
51:30
we had a brother on this podcast. Yeah, and now
51:32
we got a brother on the podcast. By the way,
51:36
I am plotting your demise because you owe me
51:38
$50. So just, you know, just have that in the
51:40
back of your mind. Listen, man, I hope you really
51:42
like watching me eat pecans. I do. They're good
51:45
for your health. It's true. Did you loan him
51:48
that $50 so he could get Cora braces? Yeah. Cora
51:53
needs braces. $50 braces. That might just be
51:59
cramming a pecan in a mouth. Yeah, it could be.
52:02
Just rolled up tinfoil. Gross. So, like I said,
52:07
the movie starts off with standing in a boatyard,
52:10
cock gun, and then later... right before the
52:15
end of the climax of this movie we see him in
52:16
the same boatyard cocking a gun no scene takes
52:19
place in a boatyard other than the gun cock that's
52:23
good observation he went out to the went out
52:27
went out to the shipyard just to stand there
52:30
at you know at the golden he didn't want someone
52:34
to hear him oh yeah always cock your gun outside
52:38
of the place you're gonna do crime All right,
52:42
Phil, have you had one more thing? I got a couple
52:45
of things, actually. So, oh, Lord, fuck. Peel
52:47
this onion. Yeah. So I was thinking about, oh,
52:52
man, I lost track of the earlier one I had, but
52:55
I'll circle back around to it. But yeah, Grenier
52:58
at the end, the final scene, all of a sudden
53:01
he has a fucking southern accent out of nowhere.
53:04
He hasn't had an accent this entire movie. And
53:06
in the final scene, he all of a sudden has one.
53:08
And I was just like. Did I miss it the whole
53:11
time, or was this the first scene that they shot?
53:14
They probably filmed it backwards. Yeah, they
53:16
shot that. That's what I was thinking, too. Realized
53:18
it didn't work. Last thing I had was a question
53:23
for Producer Peter here. Uh -oh. Please tell
53:28
me that you looked up some stats on the Biloxi
53:32
shuckers. I need to know if they're... like tell
53:35
me about them are they good are they bad okay
53:37
so i did actually look up the biloxi shuckers
53:40
a little bit and uh i was intrigued to find out
53:43
that they're a minor league baseball team that
53:45
started in 2015 so this is actually a fairly
53:47
new team for this movie so maybe they sort of
53:51
like struck a deal to be part of it They aren't
53:53
anything particularly awesome. They've had some
53:55
interesting players over the years. They're not
53:57
particularly good. But yeah, they were a fusion
54:02
team from God, I can't remember. It's a Biloxi
54:05
and some other tiny ass Mississippi town. So
54:07
let's go shuckers. They used to be like a toad.
54:12
I don't know. Their mascot is and it's a nice
54:15
oyster. Yeah, I mean, that's exposed. Yeah, that's
54:19
about all I got. I didn't go into the deep dive.
54:21
I looked up a couple of the player names. I was
54:23
like, I'm not going to remember these. All right,
54:25
we got to wrap this shit up. Wait, can we just
54:27
take two seconds and talk about? Fuck you. Yeah.
54:31
OK, let's do the grid real quick. Great cage,
54:35
bad movie. Great cage, entertainingly bad movie.
54:39
Brief moments of sublime cage. Passable movie.
54:46
Passable is about the best way that you could
54:47
describe this. It is not a 3%. It's a 23. Ouch,
54:52
that's a lot. Sure, it's not like a 13. It might
54:57
be a 13. Tokarev was a 13. Yeah. It's better
55:01
than Tokarev. It's hands down better than Tokarev.
55:04
Oh, God, Tokarev. I think I like to rage more.
55:07
Maybe it's because I ended up watching it twice.
55:09
I just fucking hate that movie with a passion.
55:13
Well, let's get back together in a year and we'll
55:15
do a head to head between this and Rage and see
55:19
which one was really better. Thanks. I love that
55:21
you guys always invite me on this show when it's
55:24
just real horse shit movies. You got to watch
55:27
Con Air. Con Air was awesome. I'll give you that.
55:30
That was that was great. But yeah, come on, man.
55:35
All right. So next up, we've got Vengeance colon
55:38
A Love Story, which. has been described as a
55:42
terrible movie but a great nick cage movie so
55:45
yeah we're at the point in this experiment where
55:50
all of these movies have vaguely the same name
55:53
and i'm getting very confused yeah it's it's
55:57
tough and i mean like marketing departments really
55:59
don't like these low budget movies because they're
56:01
just like well we gotta get butts in seats so
56:03
what makes it work you know i like that they
56:05
added that it's a love story yeah we'll find
56:08
out yeah I'm going to get some like warming massage
56:11
oils for when we watch this movie. I'll just
56:14
like lay out some towels and it's a love story.
56:18
Yeah. And, you know, lay there expecting Josie
56:22
to massage me the whole time. Yeah. From out
56:26
of vengeance. Yeah. Vengeance, a massage. Anyway.
56:30
Thank you to our Sparkle Buddies, Josh, Josie,
56:33
Matt, Adam, Bill, Stuart, and Willow, and to
56:35
our Cage Dancers, John, Freeman, Nathan, and
56:37
Cameron, and to Bill Panks for our intro music,
56:39
and go Shuckers! Go Shuckers! Shuck, shuck, shuck,
56:45
shuck, shuck. Bye -bye! We're baseball players.
56:57
Of course we choose sunflower seeds like candy.
57:00
Baseball players. Of course we give each other
57:02
good game taps. We're baseball players. Of course
57:05
we're full of ourselves. We're baseball players.
57:07
Of course we play cards and rain delays. We're
57:09
baseball players. Of course we're not the Savannah
57:11
Bananas. We're baseball players. Of course we
57:13
have nice butts.