Latest / She Rises with Ashy & Tijana / 119. WHY are we STILL so WEIRD about MONEY? let's talk Money Triggers 💵

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119. WHY are we STILL so WEIRD about MONEY? let's talk Money Triggers 💵 · She Rises with Ashy & Tijana

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Apoge Production.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashy and I'm Tiana.
• 0:14
  Speaker 3: This podcast is about female empowerment and encouraging you to
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: be your biggest, boldest, and most authentic version of yourself.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: We'd help you shed the shame, grow to a new level.
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: We're gonna laugh and cry and talk about the topics
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: everyone else is too afraid to talk about.
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: Get ready for your next level of self.
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: Good morning, everybody. Welcome back to She Rises with your
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: favorite hosts. Ashi and Tiana are back for a Wednesday episode,
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: and today we are talking all about money and why
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: it's so taboo to talk about it like sex. We
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: want to dissolve the shame. We want to have more
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: conversations around it. We all love it, we all need it.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: It's a part of life, so why not talk about it.
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: We all act like we're not allowed to talk about it.
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  Speaker 1: I know, where did they come from?
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  Speaker 3: I don't know, but it's so uncomfortable for some people.
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  Speaker 3: And understandably, yes, it is a resource, right, It is
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: a resource that we all rely on and that we
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: all need to survive and to contribute and to exist
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  Speaker 3: in our reality. So it makes a lot of sense.
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  Speaker 3: But why is it so uncomfortable to talk about?
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  Speaker 2: And I'm pretty open to talk about most things, even money, but.
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  Speaker 1: I won't lie.
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  Speaker 2: I still get a little bit like, Oh, if someone
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  Speaker 2: online asked me how much I earn, I'm like, oh,
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  Speaker 2: I think because I suppose being an online influencer and
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: having a business, people are quite triggered by money. So
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: if you tell them how much you make, they then
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: compare it to how much they make. They feel like
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: it's unfair or not right, or they think your privilege
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: or they think you're greeding. You get kind of a
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: lot of backlash for it how you live. And I
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  Speaker 2: understand that also because I used to feel like that
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: when I'd see people with money and being able to
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  Speaker 2: leave the sextravagant lifestyle or where all the labels are
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: do all the things I was sitting in my victims.
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  Speaker 2: So I would think they were lucky and they were
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: selfish in this which should be more generous, and they
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  Speaker 2: used to project so much onto them. So I see
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  Speaker 2: why people don't share that information and why they get
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: uncomfortable around it. And it's also uncomfortable too, Like I've
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: got a friend who is very, very wealthy, and she
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: gets uncomfortable talk about it because she doesn't know who
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: likes her for her and who wants what she has
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: and what she can give, and she's quite generous. So
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: there's so many layers to it. But we wanted to
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: kind of debunk a little bit of this whole conversation
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: and make it a bit more comfortable. So we've got
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: a few points that we want to talk about. Yeah,
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  Speaker 2: one thing I find really interesting online is the influencer
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: marketing world. I see so many tiktoks and people getting
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: so triggered with how much influencers earn. But what they
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: don't see, and it's not always the case. It's a gamble.
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  Speaker 2: Any type of marketing is actually a gamble. Whether you
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: spend your money on Facebook ads, Google ads, snapcha ads,
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  Speaker 2: TikTok ads, influencers, UGC created, like whatever you spend your
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: money on Billboard advertising, radio, TV. It's all a risk.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: You don't know what's going to convert or what's going
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: to give you great brand awareness. But people get so
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: upset when they know how much influencers charge and make,
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  Speaker 2: But what they don't realize is that it's a win
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: win most of the time for the brand and for
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  Speaker 2: the influencer, and influencing is a job. I know people
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: are in denial that it's not, but it is. For example,
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: I once promoted a brand. I won't say what the
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: brand is, it was a product and I got paid
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  Speaker 2: I think it was fifteen thousand dollars to do a
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: set of stories, a set of Snapchat And they've paid
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: that and I made them one hundred and twenty three
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  Speaker 2: thousand dollars.
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  Speaker 3: Wow.
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  Speaker 2: So yeah, to spend that, that's a great return on investment. Absolutely,
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  Speaker 2: it's a win win for them. Yeah, it's a win
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  Speaker 2: win for me. It works, but people get really upset
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  Speaker 2: with it. But I can also see why because for
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: me to get paid that just to talk about a
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  Speaker 2: product and what it takes most people to earn in
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  Speaker 2: their everyday life, Like that's a wage for ten weeks
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  Speaker 2: or twenty weeks for someone. Yeah, I can totally see
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  Speaker 2: why that would trip with someone.
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  Speaker 3: That's the contrast is like people are looking at that.
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  Speaker 3: They're looking at, Okay, what does a nine to five
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  Speaker 3: technically make? What's the average wage that people are making
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  Speaker 3: versus that amount of money? And maybe that's the triggering
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  Speaker 3: part of it, is like, one, I don't have that
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  Speaker 3: opportunity to it would take me X amount of time
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  Speaker 3: for me to make that amount of money. I had
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: three like fuck you for having more freedom than me.
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  Speaker 2: And I also see view of a teacher or a
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  Speaker 2: nurse or someone who's doing a job like that they
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: don't get paid enough.
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  Speaker 1: No, it doesn't feel fair.
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  Speaker 2: Even I had moments of guilt where I was like,
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: it doesn't feel fair that I get to earn this
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: kind of money for doing that. And then a teacher
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  Speaker 2: goes and works her ass off or his ass off
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  Speaker 2: teaching kids and being with them all day every day,
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  Speaker 2: and it's such an important job, Like I don't think
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  Speaker 2: they get paid enough. Yeah, so I can really understand.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, or nurses being Yeah, nurses being personally underpaid for
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  Speaker 3: what they do and how they support people and how
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  Speaker 3: many import their role is, Oh, how many patients they
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: we have to look after per nurse as well when
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: they're on on June's crazy.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: Even like a bus driver.
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  Speaker 2: I know it sounds silly, but a bush driver, they
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: are driving your children, getting them safely from A to
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  Speaker 2: B every single day. Yeah, I don't think they get
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: paid enough. Yeah, it's crazy. So I get why this
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: conversation can be uncomfortable, however, like it is what it is.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, And from.
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  Speaker 2: A marketer's point of view, influencers are a great way
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: to blow up your business. We've seen it many times before.
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  Speaker 2: When influence posts for a brand, the business blows up.
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  Speaker 2: If that was your brand and you had someone quote
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  Speaker 2: unquote Instagram famous who blew.
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  Speaker 3: Your brand up, you'd be stoked. Yeah, I wouldn't care
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  Speaker 3: how much you're paying them.
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  Speaker 2: A Goldcrase influence who charges like forty thousand dollars at
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: the moment for a set of stories and that's three
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: sixty second frames, which sounds crazy, Yes, but I bet
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  Speaker 2: her return it's probably five.
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  Speaker 3: Hundred thousands Yees. Yeah, you've sold out your product.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: You're happy.
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  Speaker 3: I like that you brought that point in because it
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: is Most people only focus on one side of it,
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  Speaker 3: which is how much influence who is getting paid. Yes,
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  Speaker 3: it's not just that it's an exchange.
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  Speaker 2: And also I can only speak from my experience and
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: everyone's different. But what people forget too is I've been
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: online for fifteen years, right, This isn't just a quick
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  Speaker 2: fifteen k. Yes, it sounds quick, but every single day
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  Speaker 2: for fifteen years, I have showed up not getting paid,
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: to share my life, to be vulnerable, to share my lessons,
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  Speaker 2: to connect, to build a community. I've put that effort
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  Speaker 2: in every single day for fifteen years. And I'm not
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: saying it's a hard job. I'm not going to sit
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: on here and say influencing hard because it's fucking not. Yeah,
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  Speaker 2: it's a great job. It's pretty easy. It's a lot
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  Speaker 2: of energy, but it's not a hard job. But there
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: is still work and energy and effort and sacrifice that
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  Speaker 2: I put in to be in that position to be
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  Speaker 2: able to charge that.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah. So, like everything, there's lots of layers.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely see everyone's side.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah to it.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think money is just one of those things
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  Speaker 3: that it's a challenging topic for people to talk about
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  Speaker 3: because everyone is such in different places with their relationship
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  Speaker 3: with money, whether that be the way that they were
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  Speaker 3: raised with money, what they were taught from their parents,
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  Speaker 3: beliefs around it, their beliefs around it, you know, what
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: opportunities they've been exposed to up until now, and how
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  Speaker 3: they continue to choose to see money. So it's like
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: everyone is such on a different wavelength when it comes
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  Speaker 3: to that. So it's like it is a harder conversation
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  Speaker 3: to have with people because you don't know where people
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  Speaker 3: sit with it, and it's almost like this unspoken agreement
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  Speaker 3: where people are like, Oh, don't want to bring this
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  Speaker 3: conversation in because I don't know what this person's belief
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  Speaker 3: around money is if they're going to accept me for mine.
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  Speaker 3: You know, let's say if somebody has like a more expansive,
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: more abundant mindset around money versus them having a conversation
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  Speaker 3: with somebody who's still in lack around money. Yeah, you know,
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  Speaker 3: it's like that's also going to create disconnect between the
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: relationship and makes it hard to connect with that person
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  Speaker 3: because of those projections.
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  Speaker 2: There's a lot of projections to get thrown around money.
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  Speaker 2: I've had it from a family member too, like, Oh,
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  Speaker 2: that's easy for you to say you've got lots of money.
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  Speaker 2: I'm like, but I've also worked since I was thirteen
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: years old. Yeah, I've literally been a little hustler since
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  Speaker 2: I was I wasn't even legally allowed to work at
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  Speaker 2: thirteen years old, but I did. You had to be
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: fourteen and nine months, you bet you. When I got
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: off at a doll with thirteen and killing potatoes, I
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: took it. She's taken it. I took it again, hustling
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  Speaker 2: since I was thirteen. Where I am right now is
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: not luck. I was not born into money. It was
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: not given anything. I worked my ass off, I sacrificed
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: so much, and I refused to.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: Live how my parents lived.
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  Speaker 2: I saw how they lived, I saw how we grew up,
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  Speaker 2: always poor, knock being able to do things, struggling parents
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  Speaker 2: arguing over money. I just did not want that life
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: for myself, for my kids, and I was determined to
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: do whatever I needed to do to make that happen.
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  Speaker 2: That's lending me where I am right now.
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  Speaker 3: So what's a piece of advice that you would give
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  Speaker 3: to somebody who might still have some negative beliefs around
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: mine that may feel victimy or a bit lack or
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: make them feel disempowered by money? Lots of he's of
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: advice that you would give.
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: Them that it doesn't have to be like that. And
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: I know that sounds easier than done, because I used
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: to think like that too. My belief was that I
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: will always be poor, no one will ever loved me.
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: I'm not smart enough to make money. People are lucky,
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: people get handed it, but it's not the truth. And
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: if you honestly believe that and you keep telling yourself that,
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: that'll be your reality. Yeah, it will not change. Whether
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: you think you can or you think you can't. You
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: are one hundred percent right. I had to push that belief,
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: and I had to prove to myself and I had
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: to break through that limiting belief that I could never.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: Earn a certain amount. And it was hard. Yeah, it
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: was fucking hard.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: And even now when I go through harder times with money,
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: your finances dip in and out, it's so easy for
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: me to have that old story pop up. Of course,
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: like you're not worthy of that, yeah, or like, of
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: course that wasn't gonna last, or you were silly with
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: your money.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: There's so many little stories that pop up.
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: So many Yeah, and money is energy.
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: It comes and goes. I truly believe it comes and goes.
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: But just yeah, be aware of the stories that you're
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: telling because they will become your truth. And only you
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: were in control of that. No one else is not
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: your partner, not your parents, no one else, only you,
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: And like, be the black sheep of the family, Be
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: the person that proves everyone wrong, including yourself. Like show
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: yourself that you can. It's hard too, it's trial and error.
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: Like three businesses I've tried. I got so much shit
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: online for failed businesses or things that haven't worked out
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: have me changing my mind. But if I didn't, I
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: would literally still be working in a retail shop in
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: a job that I hated if I didn't take a risk. Yeah,
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: take risks, try things if they don't work out. It's
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: like that guy, you know his name, He owns that
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: utie brand, David someone.
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: Oh I'm not sure. Oh no Uddie's, but yeah, well
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: the owner of that.
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: He's on Shark Tank. He is multi millionaire. He's investing
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: other businesses now. But his story is so cool. Like
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: he started a clothing brand, he started a kebab shop,
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: he did another little product and they all flopped and
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: didn't do well, and then he did Udie and now
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: he's got all these other brands and businesses, and he
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: was on Shark Tank investing and coaching people. And it's
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: so cool to see all his quote unquote failures to
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: get to where he is now. All of those failures
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: taught him the most valuable lessons that have now made
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: already so successful.
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's so cool.
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: We'll trust the process. You're not just going to get
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: it overnight. You're probably going to go through quite a
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: lot of values and you're okay. To fail doesn't define
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: who you are, doesn't define your outcome. It's how you
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: get back up and take those lessons moving forward.
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I love that. It's a challenging thing as well,
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: because I think, I mean, at least in my own experience,
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: it's easy to get disempowered by the self doubt when
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: you're in a low like what you said, when finances deep,
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: or you know, you overspend and then you're like shit, oh,
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: like put myself backwards, or you know, like damn, why
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: did I do that? Or maybe I have a not
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: a good relationship with money and I overspend in all
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: the things, or whatever it is. But it's easy to
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: be disempowered in those moments that go, oh shit, it's
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: not working, you know. I think that's the challenging thing
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: about money. At least have been in my experience has
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: been being able to keep the momentum going and keep
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: the mindset, my mindset strong, even when things in my
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: external reality are changing. You know, like if I change
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: something in my business and I go from like programs
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: to one on one or whatever, and I have an
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: income depah, so vice versa. It's like holding my energy
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: and making sure that I'm okay and I'm not mentally
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: spiraling and being like, oh, this means that it's not
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: working or it's failing, or you know, like writing with
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: those stories that come up from like old beliefs. Yes,
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: you know, I can definitely resonate with you what you
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: said around like, oh, I'm not smart enough, I'm not capable,
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: And I definitely feel like I've been battling that story
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: my whole life and I still battle it now, you know.
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: But it's like choosing the actions that I'm taking to
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: create money as a resource that's supportive and helps me
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: and wants to see me win, and you know, is
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: something that I can use for good and not the
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: stories of like oh I'm not capable of doing this,
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: or I can't create the resource of money, or I
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: can't be one of those people who have abundance with money.
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: You know. It's really being willing to be like no,
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: like I'm not choosing to believe this. I don't want
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: this story to be mine.
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: We can get so attached to stories and I'll speak
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: on like a business sense too. When our sales are
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: lower and hide away, it's very easy to go into
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: a story of like, oh, it's because the interest is raised.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, oh it's because of Covid.
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: Oh it's because we're not on sale and all the
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: other brands are on sale right now. It's because everyone's
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: struggling financially. Yes, and Steve and I will have those
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: moments are like, oh is it that it could be?
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: But there's also brands that are absolutely killing it. So
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: what can we do? What is in our control? I'm
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: not going to just sink to that story about oh
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: poor us, It's just this is happening. It's like what
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: can I do more of? And being in that mindset
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: of always like thinking outside the box? What can you do? Yeah,
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: don't sit in the victim of that's just how it
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: has to be, because that's not the truth.
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: That's such a good perspective to always be looking for
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: what you can do and what you can.
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: Control, all that you can do.
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, always because there's always something to blame as well.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: It keeps you still.
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: You won't make progress forward if you just blame everyone
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: and everything else for why your business isn't working.
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think.
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: Something to be super aware of is old conditioning. I
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: think our parents can play a big role, and not
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: to blame, but just the comments they would make growing up.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: I've set it to tage before.
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, I swear i'd never say that, but
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: comments like money doesn't grow on trees, or to make
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: good money you have to sacrifice everything. Yeah, but it's like,
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: we can't afford that, and why money doesn't have to
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: be like that. Yes, I think there's seasons where you
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: have to put your head down, bum up, But I
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: don't like falling into the narrative that it has to
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: be blood, sweat and tears to have a good life
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: you have to sacrifice everything. Sometimes about working smarter, not
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: necessarily harder, and working hard sometimes I'm like, are you
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: productive with your time? Yeah, there's so many things to
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: look at, There's so many things to look at.
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: It's so true what you tell yourself you are one
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: hundred percent right. Yeah, And that story what I've witnessed
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: in people. And also because I watched my dad sacrifice
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: a lot growing up and always working hard and always
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: sacrificing in all of the things and all I've also
• 13:45
  Speaker 3: seen this in intimate partners too, of having the story
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: that you have to sacrifice everything, it has to be
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: excruciating in the process, and it's like, of course, like
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: a fun journey, you're only going to feel like you're
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: being productive and doing things if it feels excruciating, and
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: then you have to live in that story and that
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: just doesn't feel like the way that I want to go,
• 14:03
  Speaker 3: you know, and like a belief that I believe that
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: I've taken on that I've had to like unlearn and
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: still unlearning it now. Is something that my parents used
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: to always say, and they say it jokingly and again
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: this is news to their ears, so they're going to
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: hear this for the first time, but they used to
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: have this story. You know, we get to this point
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: where we're really struggling. It's really really tough, and you know,
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: we're being drip fed through a straw, you know, right
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: on the brink of like bankruptcy and like struggling and
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: losing everything, and then immediately everything changing in the blink
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: of an eye and then going like completely the opposite way, right, So,
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: like the joke is, you know, one day we're eating
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: lobster and the next we're eating noodles, you know. And
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: that has been something that I took on in my
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: relationship with money, of going from a big influx of
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: money and then fucking being drip fed. And that's something
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: that I've had to really consciously unlearn to change my
• 14:51
  Speaker 3: belief around money so that I'm not going from like,
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: oh my god, this is really good. I'm having a
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: really good month through oh my god, what the fuck happened?
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: Like I'm eating noodles this month? Being more consistent, being
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: more consistent and.
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: Having taken control of how that happens.
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: And taking control of my behavior, my actions, the choices
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: that I make both when I'm being quotations drip fed
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: with money versus how I behave when things are really
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: really good. And that was something I had to learn
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: within myself, because when I got to that point where
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: I felt really comfortable, I'd start to overspend.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so maybe not work as hard because you've got
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: the money there.
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, not work as hard. You'd be like, oh, I'm
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: feeling a little bit comfortable, feeling it like I've got
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: a bit of a cushion. Now, okay, cool, pull back
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: the rain. Stop doing the actions that got me to
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: that point and then go back to the point and
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: then start again.
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: So it was something over the years, especially in my
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: coaching business, I've had to really be conscious with and
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: it's still something that I have to clock now sometimes.
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so interesting. It's so funny the things our
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: parents say and how much they can impact you. Yeah,
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: sometimes when I say things atage, I'm like, Ooh, is
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: that the right thing to say? Am I going to
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: fuck him up?
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: Oh?
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: What's he going to think of that? It's that going
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: to impact him forever?
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: But you know what in saying that, like, yes, whilst
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: that was something that I was taught and even things
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: that you say to tage, they teach us the things
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: that we.
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: Need to learn.
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, because I can blame my parents, I don't blame them.
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: It's something that exists within me. Yeah, It's not them,
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: it's me. And so being able to look at those
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: things and go holy shit, like that's something I have
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: to take responsibility for is only going to empower me
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: and does and continues to do to get me to
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: a point where I can actually believe in myself to
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: create consistency and a healthy relationship with money. Yes, you know,
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: so it's like I can even look at that and go,
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: oh my god, fuck, why do you guys do that?
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: Why do you guys? Blah blah blah. I feel like
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: a victim. But like that doesn't get me anyway. It
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: doesn't help me, It doesn't help me move forward. It
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: doesn't help you create a relationship with money that's healthy
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: and that supports you, and it doesn't make you feel
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: like you can do it. So it's just really looking
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: at those places where you feel disempowered and go, Okay,
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: what about this is making me feel disempowered and what
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: is it that I actually can do to move the
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: needle forward?
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's cool.
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: What do you think about money manifestation because I'm not
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: someone that really manifests money manifestation with anything. It's like,
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: you can't just say I want a million dollars in
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: my bank. I a million dollars in my bank and
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: not actually take action.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: I think it's really important to know that you're worthy
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: of the money and to put it out in your
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: energetic field and to make plans, but you actually have
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: to do the things to get the money in.
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: Absolutely, it's like this gray area.
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: People just think they can manifest it by just saying
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: affirmations and saying it out loud.
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: Yes, there's an element of getting clear on what it
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: is that you want.
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: Clarity is a powerful yes.
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: Clarity, right, But if you're not taking action, you're just
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: going to send your nervous system into a downward spile,
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: because you're going to be in that moment of being
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: drip fed so much that you're like, probably have bills
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: to pay, and you're like, oh, it's fine, everything, You'll
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: be fine. Money will just fall out of fucking thin air,
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: you know, And the reality is like, when you're struggling
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: you have bills to pay, I don't know, Like I
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: think like manifestation alone is not enough in those moments.
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: You have to be willing in those moments where you
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: have your backup against a wall to fucking figure it
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: out of how you're going to get those bills paid.
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: And yes, still have and want the manifestation mindset, but
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: you have to do the hard work too. And I think,
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: at least for me, those moments have taught me in
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: this moment where I'm avoiding hard work and I want
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: it to be easy, and I want manifestation to feel easy,
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: into money to feel easy. I still have to do
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: what is hard, and I still have to implement hard
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: work to get where I want to go and do
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: things that I don't want to do because I have
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: to got to.
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: You have to.
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: When you have your backup against the wall, you don't
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: have a choice. It's so true, Like that's just the
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: reality of it. I do think when you move through
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: hard work and you're willing to do what is hard,
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: I think your mindset around money becomes better.
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: It does, and you become more resilient, more resilient, don't
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: slip back into the victim of old stories as much so.
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: It does move the needle forward.
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: And I think because you do that hard work and
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: then you create the resource of money, you then go,
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: oh wow, I have stability in myself, rely on myself,
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: and then your mindset with each level that you do
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: more hard work increases, and then you get to that
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: point where you're like, money is abundant. I can create it.
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: It's a never ending resource. All that sort of stuff,
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: because you know how to create it yourself.
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: You've had that evidence.
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: You have evidence.
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: That's really cool. How about you?
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: What do you think?
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: I agree everything you said. Yeah, I'm not someone that
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: like actively manifest money. I feel like I've got a
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: pretty good relationship with money, but sometimes maybe I'm a
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: little bit too flowy with it. How do you mean,
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: like I could invest more? Yeah, I could learn more
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: about it, but I sometimes it's get a bit content
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: that as long as I can pay my bills and
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: have good time, I'm happy.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: I love that beautiful place to be.
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: It is nice. It's funny.
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: I've got to comment recently on a video I did
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: and I was wearing like a surprey outfit and then
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: I had a little Bitton bag. This girl's like, I
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: just love the You're the biggest bargain hunt to Like,
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: I'll do a km my hole. Then I'll also splash
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: five K in a bag.
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: The freedom to be able to do that though, sure, But.
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: I'm not very attached to money. But in saying that,
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: we all need it for survival and when it's low
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: it stresses me out. Ye. Certainty and safety is something
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: that especially US females really really need.
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: So yeah, I think I have a really good relationship
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: with money, but I just get a little bit like
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: cringey when people think they can just say the affirmations
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: and manifested but not actually do the work.
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: I think also as well, though, because like this conversation
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: we're having around you being hustling since you were thirteen,
• 20:02
  Speaker 3: at every stage of your life, you've done things that
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: you haven't wanted to do. Oh yeah, so that you
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: could create money. Yeah, you know, because I.
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: Didn't grow up with it, and I didn't grow up
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: with a sense of safety, Like we were literally homeless
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: at one point, so I just never wanted to be
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: in that position.
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: Again.
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: I always wanted to be able to take care of myself,
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: and I was out a home when I was sixteen two,
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: so I've really had to take care of myself. So
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: I've always just been prepared to get my handswered and
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: do what I need to do to survive. So it's
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: really served me. I remember being in high school and
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: my friends it could just go in their parents' walle
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: and take money out, and their parents would give them
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: fifty bucks to go the movies, and I would have
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: to go peel potatoes for five dollars an hour to
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: be able to go and do those things. And he
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: used to just think that sucks, like they're so lucky.
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: My parents never give me money, Like I just I
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: have to earn every dollar of it and I have
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: to save. But now as an adult, I'm like, oh,
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: I'm so grateful. Yeah, I'm so grateful because my work
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: ethic is so good. I'm so prepared to work hard.
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: And now I'm in that phase with Targe where I'm like, Okay,
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: I don't want him to suffer and for it to
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: be as hard as what it was for me, But
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: I also don't want to just hand everything to him.
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: I'll be figuring it out with Steve obviously, like the
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: middle ground where he feels supported, but he has to
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: know the value of a dollar and then you have
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: to work for it. It's not just gonna be handed
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: to you. So that'd be interesting to navigate. Yes, he
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: gets into his teenage years. Absolutely, he's quite money motivated.
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: We have like this Spriggy account where he can earn chores.
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: He does a disrusher every single day to help the
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: family and that's just contribution and helps tidy up and
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: whatever and keeps his room clean. But the extra things
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: that he wants to do, he can earn money. I
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: love that for him. Yeah, but he is quite money motivated.
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: That's how he would learn Yeah, through those little things.
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: He's like, Okay, cool, if I want this, I've got
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: to do this. Yeah.
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, So I think also i'd love to talk about
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: why women carry so much more money guilt, the good
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: girl programming, like being humble and being grateful and not
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: wanting too much, and how this affects women charging their worth,
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: asking for raises, or feeling worthy of wealth. And this
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: is really relevant right now because we have a girlfriend
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: who really struggles to have those conversations and it's landed
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: her in a position where she's in a well paying job,
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: but her boss just keeps throwing more and more roles
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: at her and not setting her for it. So she's
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: burnt out, she's stressed, she's resentful, she's not enjoying the
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: role as much because she's taken on so much, and
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: we're on the sideline. It's being like, oh my gosh,
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: you need to speak up, like you need to say something.
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: You need to tell her no, no, say no, I
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: can do this and I'll take on that extra responsibility
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: for X amount. I'm not just going to do that
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: for free. But because she's kind of done that from
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: the start, this bosh just keeps taking advantage of it
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: and piling more on her, Like why do you think
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: women struggle for asking for a raise or even though
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: for you with your coaching, I did it with being
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: a pt too, like raising my prices.
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: I felt bad about.
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: I want to help everyone. I know everyone kind of
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: afford it and like be accessible. I know what it's
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: like when I don't have much money and you know
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: they need this, but it's so important to know your worst.
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: Why do you think women struggle with that? Well, that's
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: a big question, honestly, I think it comes down to
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: a couple of things, Like one, I think there's a
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: worth aspect to that, and of like I'm feeling deserving
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: of that amount of money, o the of it like
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: only because they haven't learned how to hold it, and yes,
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: like almost don't feel comfortable to fully take up space
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: in that sense, and being like no, I deserve this
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: because I'm worthy of this. I think most women have
• 23:13
  Speaker 3: to some degree self worth issues and like struggle with
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: that sort of stuff.
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: Scared of getting rejected and being told no absolutely, scart
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: of the job being replaced maybe by a man.
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: For sure, so many things, and I think as well,
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: not wanting to be a burden and conflicts because now
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: good GOL programming, right, GOL programming. Yeah, because it's like, oh, well,
• 23:29
  Speaker 3: if I speak up to my boss, am I going
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: to then lose out and potentially get fired? Are they
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: not going to like what I have to say? And
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: that is like a lot of women do struggle with
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: communication and open, you know, having conflict or even knowing
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: how to handle someone being combative, right, because we're so
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: terrified of rejection and someone standing up to us or
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: challenging us even that we don't know how to respond
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: in those moments. So it's like, oh, I better just
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: not be a burden. I better not speak up. I'll
• 23:58
  Speaker 3: cop the brunt of this, which women have been doing
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: for forever. I'll hold the discomfort so I can please
• 24:03
  Speaker 3: everybody else.
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And I know for me, I never want to
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: be difficult, like somebody to say, oh, she's so difficult,
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: Like that's not comfortable for me. Someone's to ever make
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: that comment about me. It makes me feel really uncomfortable.
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: Oh so in the past, that's why I've kept down
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: even doing influencing work. Having a manager is so important
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: because I'm not very good at having money conversations. Yeah,
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: I used to do post for brands for free all
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: the time until another influence was like, what the fuck
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: are you doing?
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: Why are you doing that?
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you're paid.
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not your job to build the empire for free.
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: You've worked so hard to build this audience and now
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: you're just doing it for free. And she said to me,
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: they'll be laughing at you.
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god.
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I got a manager and start a charge for it.
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: But I even felt bad charging and I want to
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: over deliver and do more posts on what I needed
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: to do, and I still could fall into it the
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: brand that owes me money. Yeah, that's why I got
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: paid for one set of Instagram stories and one reel.
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: I put it on TikTok, I put on Snapchat, I
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: did extra tags on Instagram. I wanted to over deliver
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: because I want the brand to be happy with me.
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: But then they just didn't take care of you at all.
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: No, I don't want to self manage because I don't
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: want to have money conversation and I feel bad charging
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: for something that I enjoy doing and I would probably promote.
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: Anyway, but it is business.
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, having money conversations As a female, I think it's
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: really really hard and it sucks. It shouldn't be like that,
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: But for minutes there's so much more easy and flowing.
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: It is just what it is.
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: It's like they take the emotion out of it's from
• 25:22
  Speaker 3: Logic is logic, Business is business. Yeah, that's it. This
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: is data, this is information, this is like my feelings
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: aren't involved here. This is just it is what it is.
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: They are so much more good at being assertive.
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: I love it.
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: You know, it's certain even confident and convicted in who
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: they are, and they have that natural.
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: Especially in business and finance. As I watched Steve doing it,
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: I'm just like scratched my head. I'm like, how Yeah,
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: I'm so not built that way. It's not wide that way.
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: It is really cool to see, and it's something I
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: think us women can learn from men.
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: And admire in them.
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 25:50
  Speaker 3: Absolutely, I think it's an all beautiful thing.
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: A generalization for sure. I'm speaking of my own personal experience.
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: The same here, but I think for the most part,
• 25:57
  Speaker 3: a lot of women, and it is a generalization, but
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: a lot of women can struggle with self worth, conflict, money,
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: feeling worthy. So it's like all those tied in together
• 26:06
  Speaker 3: no one wants to have money conversations.
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: No, they don't, you know.
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: And same thing with coaching, as I've increased my prices.
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: When I first started my coaching business, Oh my god,
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: I was lucky enough to be able to work. I
• 26:17
  Speaker 3: chose to work with a business coach from the get
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: go and my business, but she challenged me to raise
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: my prices from the get go. She's like, Tiana, do
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: not charge under this per hour? And I was like,
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: what do you mean. I was like, good, I'll just
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: do it for free, Like I don't need this amount
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: of money. She's Kiana, learn from me. She's like, I
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: undercharged four years. Don't do it. Just start strong and
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: stand behind yourself. And that in itself was a challenge
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: to really be able to see myself and my worth
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: and be able to be able to go wout what
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: I have to offer is worth this in exchange and
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: really seeing myself in that way of, hey, this is
• 26:53
  Speaker 3: really valuable what you're doing. I think that's the biggest
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: lesson in all of this, is like being able to
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: see ourselves as something that is a valuable commodity and
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: a valuable exchange enough for money in return.
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: Yes, another conversation around money too, is I think there
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: is shame around enjoying and loving money. Yeah, there is,
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: And there was once a friendship dynamic where I really
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: felt this and maybe feel like shit because she would
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: always say she doesn't need money, doesn't need the nice things,
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: and I really enjoy the nice things. I enjoy flying
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: business class, I enjoy having a nice car, I love
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: owning my home. I love being able to go up
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: date nights and not I have to look at the
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: price of the menu, like I really love having money.
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: But saying that out loud, I think I've carried shame
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: around it in the past, and like I wonder where
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: that comes from. But I think I'm fearful that people
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: think that we're talking about money or having nice things
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: is rubbing it in their face. I think back of
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: my younger self, and I didn't like how that felt
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: for me. At the end of the day, that's not
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: my responsibility to hold everyone through their relationship with money.
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: We all have a relationship with money, being negative, positive, neutral,
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: whatever it is. But I definitely have felt uncomfortable talking
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: about it. But then I'm also I've spoken about this
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: in a previous episode, so if you've heard this before.
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: I do apologize, but there was one influence online who
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: speaks very openly about the money that she owns, and
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: I just remember feeling so inspired and empowered by the
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: way she spoke about money and finances and she energetically
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: was just attracting more but doing the things, and it
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: felt so good for her, and I was so proud
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: of her from an outside of how hard she worked
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: in the life she was living, and I was like, fuck, yeah,
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: that's really cool. And I wanted to be able to
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: do that for women as well. So that's why I've
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: been a little bit more open with money and trying
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: to dissolve the shame for myself and for other people.
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: And when I see other women talking about I'm like, fuck, yeah, yeah,
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: you went ten mil last year. Yeah, yeah, you go
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: and did Yeah we earned one hundred and fifty grand
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: salary from seventy five now fuck yeah, yeah you should
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: be proud and scream that to the rooftops.
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: Good on you. Yeah.
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: But I think a lot of people are really uncomfortable
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: talking about that because I don't want to feel like
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: they're bragging or rubbing in other people's face that don't
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: have it. Even the other day, I had a girl
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: swipe up. It was Tyler's birth. Then I did a
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: little hall on snapchat of what I got her. We
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: actually spent like maybe a hundred and fifty bucks in
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: her presence. They were cheap barbies, a cheap doctor's set.
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: We just went to a toy place. And this later
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: swiped up and I can't remember a word for word,
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: which basically she was like, this is really insensitive. Most
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: of us can't afford food on our plates, and here
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: you are bragging about what you've got for your daughter.
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: Read the room.
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: I was like, oh wow.
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: I was like, this is why people get uncomfortable talking
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: about it, because my intention was not to rub that
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: anyone's faces. I'm trying to give my girl a Barbie
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: Duck yet. But it just goes to show where everyone's at,
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: and they're going to be triggered depending on where they're
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: at their relationship with money, and they're the beliefs of
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: where they feel stuck and what's not possible to change.
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: If she feels like this is her life, ever, she's
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: forever going to be triggered by someone that has money.
• 29:40
  Speaker 3: That's right. It's maybe even a thing for her of like, oh,
• 29:43
  Speaker 3: that's not possible for me, and it's triggering.
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: So why is it fair that you get it?
• 29:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's obviously triggering a desire of something that she
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: wants and feels like she can't have exactly know, and
• 29:50
  Speaker 3: that's unfortunate, unfortunately the reality for some people. But also
• 29:54
  Speaker 3: you're also in a different position, do you know what,
• 29:57
  Speaker 3: And to tiptoe around your relationship with things to not
• 30:01
  Speaker 3: piss off anybody is doing you a disservice, right, because
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: then you're also not speaking to the people that are
• 30:07
  Speaker 3: inspired by that.
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, you know.
• 30:09
  Speaker 3: And I think you get to have what you have
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: and you're at the level that you're at because of
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: what you've created for yourself, and to not enjoy that,
• 30:17
  Speaker 3: to be mindful of other people's feelings and emotions is yeah,
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: I think doing you a disservit.
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: It is you know, go to eighty years old and
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: be like, why the fuck did I do that? Yeah?
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: This wasted my whole life tiptoeing walking on eggshells for
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: people I don't even know online in case I upset
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: them because I spent money on xyz.
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: But could you imagine if we all walked around tiptoeing
• 30:34
  Speaker 3: and oh, trying to please everybody. I mean people do
• 30:36
  Speaker 3: it now, yeah, but everyone's unhappy.
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: Yes, And people have such strong opinions on what you
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: should and shouldn't spend. And when I went to Paris
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: and I showed me buying a little moved on bag,
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: oh shit, I coughed for that. You can be donating
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: that money, you can be doing this with that blah
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: blah blah. I'm like, I do donate money. And I
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: also bought myself a bat. Yeah, I vot, I do vote, yeah,
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: because I'm in this position where I've worked so hard
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: to Yeah, where I am. I'm not going to live
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: with myself or live my life by your rule book
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: that you've made up.
• 31:01
  Speaker 3: I got my own rules and I'm going to follow them. Yeah,
• 31:04
  Speaker 3: you do you boot, Yes, But you know what, at
• 31:07
  Speaker 3: the end of the day, this is the conversation, right.
• 31:10
  Speaker 3: Everyone is responsible for their own triggers, yes, And it's
• 31:13
  Speaker 3: easy to project the responsibility onto the person who is
• 31:16
  Speaker 3: triggering you in the moment, but it's actually not about
• 31:18
  Speaker 3: them at all. It has nothing to do with him.
• 31:21
  Speaker 3: Because if it wasn't that person who's triggering you it'll
• 31:23
  Speaker 3: be the next person. It'll be the next person that
• 31:25
  Speaker 3: you see on social media. It'll be the person that
• 31:27
  Speaker 3: you see driving in a g wagon that you're like,
• 31:29
  Speaker 3: why the fuck can't I have that? And it's not
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: their responsibility. It's your responsibility to look at all of
• 31:33
  Speaker 3: the things that are triggering you for a reason, unpacking
• 31:37
  Speaker 3: why and figuring out what it is you actually want
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: and focusing on creating that instead of shitting on other people.
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 31:43
  Speaker 3: And I've been there, and I can only say it
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: because I used to do it. I used to get
• 31:46
  Speaker 3: so triggered by people on social media who had the
• 31:49
  Speaker 3: lifestyle and the car and all the designer bause and
• 31:52
  Speaker 3: I was like, oh my god, like that feels so
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: far away, feel so far away from me. But that's
• 31:57
  Speaker 3: the work. That was the work for me at seventeen
• 32:00
  Speaker 3: year old Tiana who felt super triggered and felt in
• 32:02
  Speaker 3: lack with money. It is your responsibility to look at
• 32:05
  Speaker 3: that and create it for yourself.
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: And the trigger is because you're wanting it. Yeah, So
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: it's like, stop lying to yourself and saying that it's
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: not important to you and you don't need it or
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: you don't want it. Yeah, it's not actually the truth,
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: because if that was the case, you wouldn't getrigged by it.
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: So when people get trigged when they see a really
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: happy couple and I start shooting them online, well that's fake.
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: This is all for socials. It's like, why is it
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: bothering you?
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: Yes?
• 32:26
  Speaker 3: Yes, so true, it's so true. Super happy.
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah what if they legit are really happy and like
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: that and they just put the camera to get a
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: cute moment. Why are you about it?
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: Think it's cute.
• 32:36
  Speaker 3: That's the next conversation, isn't it. It's not greedy to
• 32:39
  Speaker 3: want for more.
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: It is not.
• 32:40
  Speaker 3: You're allowed to want for more, and you've probably got
• 32:43
  Speaker 3: on a budget. You're probably not asking for enough. Yeah, okay,
• 32:46
  Speaker 3: you're probably not asking for enough, and you're not greedy
• 32:48
  Speaker 3: for wanting more. There is no one on this earth
• 32:50
  Speaker 3: that does not want more money right now. Yes, no one.
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: I don't know anyone that is like, oh nah, I'm good, Yeah,
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: I've got enough of my bank. No, you can be grateful.
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: I'm super grateful. I'm comfortable. I'm not super rich and
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: i'm not super poor. I feel like I'm pretty comfortable.
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Do I want more? Yes?
• 33:04
  Speaker 3: Absolutely, finally more, And that's also I feel like changing
• 33:09
  Speaker 3: the relationship that you have with money as well is important,
• 33:14
  Speaker 3: you know, like what does money actually create? And why
• 33:17
  Speaker 3: would we not want more of this? Money creates safety, yes,
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: I want more of that.
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: Money creates freedom, Yes, I want more of that.
• 33:24
  Speaker 3: Money creates comfort, of course, I fucking want more for that.
• 33:26
  Speaker 3: Money creates experiences, Yes, I want more of that. And
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: as if you wouldn't want more, especially as a parent,
• 33:32
  Speaker 3: why you wouldn't want for more? And I think there's
• 33:35
  Speaker 3: this huge conversation and this is going on a ten
• 33:37
  Speaker 3: bring it in, but going on a tangent around you know,
• 33:40
  Speaker 3: women potentially mums or women who are looking for security,
• 33:44
  Speaker 3: to want their partner to be financially secure and to
• 33:47
  Speaker 3: be able to provide right, obviously it's your own relationship
• 33:50
  Speaker 3: with money, but also that too. Of of course you
• 33:53
  Speaker 3: want to feel safe, secure and feel like somebody has
• 33:56
  Speaker 3: got you your kids too, yeah, or to build something
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: with your partner. Why would you not want for more?
• 34:01
  Speaker 3: Like what about having a nine to five? Like does
• 34:03
  Speaker 3: that feel satisfying for you? Do you want something more
• 34:05
  Speaker 3: than that? Do you want to build an empire together?
• 34:07
  Speaker 3: Do you want to create a multi business with your partner, Like,
• 34:11
  Speaker 3: you're allowed to want for more and you just got
• 34:13
  Speaker 3: to be willing to reach for more and then do
• 34:14
  Speaker 3: the hard work that follows.
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: Do the hard work.
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so so much to look at here, hey, Like
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: in summery, your relationship with money. Your story is behind money. Yeah,
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: your old conditioning from your upbringing and your parents, the
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: shame that you might be carrying around talking about it,
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: asking for it, or wanting more.
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: There's so much to look at.
• 34:32
  Speaker 3: Being willing to charge your worth, being willing to push
• 34:35
  Speaker 3: your own boundaries, and discomfort around having conversations around money.
• 34:39
  Speaker 3: If you are owed, if you want to increase your prices,
• 34:42
  Speaker 3: if you want to get another job that pays more,
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: go for it. You're allowed to do that.
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: Taking responsibility for the position you're in right now. I
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: know that all of your past decisions has led to
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: where you are right now. And if you're not happy
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: with the money that you're earning, if nothing changes, nothing changes,
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: you don't do anything now to change it and look
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: elsewhere and expand and do another course or get a
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: side hustle. You're going to be in the same position
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: this time next year, and there's only one person to
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: blame and that's you. Yeah, you can't sit in victim
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: blaming everything else outside of yourself when you're the only
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: one that can change it.
• 35:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And being willing to look at your money beliefs
• 35:14
  Speaker 3: and not run from them. So being willing to look
• 35:16
  Speaker 3: at them, being willing to look at the standards you
• 35:19
  Speaker 3: have for yourself, for your life, what you're entertaining, what
• 35:22
  Speaker 3: level of money you're currently entertaining, and what it is
• 35:25
  Speaker 3: that you give yourself permission to want for more.
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: You're allowed to want more.
• 35:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Mike Drop, thanks so much much for joining us.
• 35:33
  Speaker 3: All Right, we'll see you on the next episode.
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: Bye.