Latest / Beyond Limits With Olivia Marie / Anchoring Safety Into Your Nervous System, Identifying What’s Blocking You, And Building A Strong Foundation

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Anchoring Safety Into Your Nervous System, Identifying What’s Blocking You, And Building A Strong Foundation · Beyond Limits With Olivia Marie

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Live Well Podcast.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Liv, a naturopathic doctor, a mentor, energy healer, a cost creator, intuitive, energetic business mentor, and honestly, so much more.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: I help you heal on a physical and emotional level so that you can feel delicious in your health, body, relationships, a career, and a bank account.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: This show is for those of you who are looking to go beyond the basic wellness stuff, cut out the BS, and really create a life that you love.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: We talk about health, trauma healing, energetics, feminine energy, wealth, and magnetism so that you can live a life that feels delicious.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: In these episodes, we will have an honest conversation without the puppy bullshit.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: You walk away with all of the insights, tools, and tips to truly live your best life, mind, body, and soul.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: If you are looking to live well, you are in the right place.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: For ways to work with me, visit keepupwithlive.com and follow me on Instagram at keep up with live for more.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: And with that, let's get into the show.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: Hello everyone, welcome back to the Live Well podcast.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm excited to be joined with Morgan again today.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: Hi Morgan.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: Hi guys.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: Is it hot enough for you?
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: My gosh.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: I can't.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: The last two days has been so hot.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, if you're not from Canada, it's right now like 40 degrees Celsius, feels like, which I believe is like 103, 105.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: I was talking to a friend yesterday and she's like, she's not from here.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: She's in Texas.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: And she's like, I didn't know it got that hot in Canada.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like, yeah, it's we do have humid summers and like the hot, and I don't know about you, but like 40 degrees when the humidity, it's just it's a lot.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's a lot to spend every day in our pool.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: You have a pool.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: I was thinking about that when it was hot.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, unless you have a pool, like there, you can't be outside.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: I walk outside.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: There's like literally a 15-degree difference between my house and outside.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_02: That's good.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_02: I love it.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so we're gonna be diving into more nervous system stuff for you, Margan.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: Are you drinking anything?
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: I have a matcha.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I'm boring.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_02: I just have a water.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_02: But you have a cool cup.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: I have a really cool cup that says my name.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: It says your name.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: I've been recently obsessed with matcha.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: I guess like this is even for your nervous system.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: I ordered Symbiotica matcha, and I was like, I don't know why.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like I want to get on the matcha train.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: You know, when you see people have it, I'm like, I'm seeing people drink it.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, okay, maybe like I could get, you know.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: So I ordered some, I'm obsessed.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: I don't like you know, when you just know that like the frequency of something you have like a craving, you're like, there's something about this that's like doing it for me.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's how I feel about this right now.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: So it gives you like a kind of like a calm focus because you know it's got like Lthenian, so it's like not like coffee, but it's something, and like I do my little whisk and I make it like a little ritual, so I like I actually whisk it with the bamboo crisp and a little bit of water, and then we have coconut milk, and it's just it's a vibe.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_02: I love the routine with it too.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_02: Like, that's such a vibe, like whisking it and like making it in the ritual, yeah, yeah, right, and it's just like it's an experience.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I was speaking uh with my fiance this was it yesterday.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: I love experiences.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: I've realized I'm one of those people.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: I love when something is like there's detail, there's an experience.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like, sure, you could put it in, slap some water and give it a stir, or I could whisk it and I could froth the milk, and I could add like I don't know, I love that.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_02: I do that all like with anything I'm doing.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_02: Like you're going to the grocery store and like, hey, let's make this a vibe versus just like, yeah, going, bringing your to-do list and calling it a day, right?
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: No, actually, that's very much feminine energy.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: We should we'll do an episode kind of like on that in feminine energy in the next couple weeks, but we're gonna be talking about nervousism.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: I love when you come on and you just ask me questions because I feel like they're so useful, and then we get like talking about really great things.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: So I know you've prepped some questions.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: So I've got my matcha.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm drawing the blades so that it's not super hot in my office, and I'm good to go.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, let's dive in.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_02: So, what does it truly mean to anchor into safety in your nervous system?
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: So the thing, the biggest thing with safety is that it shouldn't be circumstantial, right?
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: When we talk about like truly anchoring it in, that means you're not just good until.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: You're not just safe until this moment or if this.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like it's one thing to feel all great when it's all sunshine and rainbows, but to me, it's about who you are when shit hits the fan.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: That's the measure of your nervous system.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like how your nervous system may feel when you're like lying on a beach or something.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I mean, they could still be very much dysregulated, don't get me wrong, some people get trapped in dysregulation, they're still dysregulated on vacation.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: But to me, it's being able to, when things happen, how do you what is your response like?
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: Do you get into reaction mode?
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: Are you calm, cool, and collected?
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: Are you able to be like a cucumber?
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like, to me, it's actually a superpower to have safety in your nervous system and to be resilient.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: Because we can't obviously stop things from happening.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: Life will happen no matter what.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not about being perfect or thinking like, oh, I'm going to avoid things from happening to me.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, things can happen, but like I'm good no matter what.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: And like that is such a powerful to me place to be in, because then you feel fearless, right?
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: Then you become unstoppable, then you become also not on this like roller coaster where it's exhausting of you're up and then you're down, and then you're up and then you're down.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: So I think like the misconception people have is then like when it comes to safety, is like, oh, I I should be dysregulated sometimes.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I always say, like, life happens, but a dysregulated nervous system actually doesn't have to.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I think people, you know, I know we were talking about normalizing when it came back to like good as hell and stuff like that, when we're talking about relationships, but I feel like people also very much normalize a dysregulated nervous system.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, like just this is happening.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: If you listen to people's conversations, it's just about them being dysregulated constantly, and it's normalized versus like, what if that wasn't normal?
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: You know, what if, like, oh no, like I just don't get dysregulated.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: I just like it, or like it's very hard to dysregulate me, or it's very hard for me to become triggered.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that actually can be a normal, and I think unfortunately, and I was gonna start the pot, we've gotten to a place where not only have we normalized dysregulation, but we're kind of enabling dysregulation because it's like everyone is walking on eggshells, and it's like, okay, let me make sure I say the right thing and I do the right things and I don't upset anyone.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm just like, that hypervigilance to me is not safety.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's like you're constantly wondering when the shoe's gonna drop, when this is gonna happen.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, like I understand there's things that happened in the last three years that can make your system kind of react.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: But also, I I never got dysregulated about all three years.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: I I really feel like some people can have two different experiences in life, and it's like, why not be that person that you know, when stuff happens, or like when those things did happen, what if you could have been so solid and so regulated that you never dipped into fear, that you never worried, that maybe we never like ran to the grocery store and stock up on toilet paper that we didn't need, or like there's just that to me is like what it truly means.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that is like a super power.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I know some people want the superpower, I don't know, to teleport or to read people's minds, which is I honestly don't feel like anyone should be able to read anyone's minds.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: That is like all the time you'd probably be very unhappy if you heard the oh my god, right?
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_02: And like so tired.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_02: Could you imagine walking down the street of like Toronto and all those people downtown, and all you can think is like, here's what they're thinking?
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like, yeah, you'd have to tune it out for sure.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but that's what I mean.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like, safety to me is so like it's paramount, it's integral.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I also think by you having more safety, then the people around you have more safety, yeah, right?
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: You have safety for your partner, you have safety for your children.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: Because if we think about the reason things get to the state that they get in is because fear feeds off of other people's fear, right?
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: And so if one person's dysregulated, they bring another person into it, and then two people are dysregulated, and then they go and make their families and their friends dysregulate, and then you got 20 people, and that's when you get mass hysteria and people running to the grocery store for toilet paper, right?
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: Right versus if we're all just safe and solid, I don't know, I just think it would be a magical place.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: I know that was a long-winded answer, but like I'm just I know you know this as someone who worked for me, right?
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: How important this is, but like that to me is true safety.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: You're not just good when it's sunshine and rainbows, but you are good no matter what.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_02: And I mean, like for me, like I think of my kids, like we went to the coffee shop the other day, right?
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_02: And the person ahead of us got angry at the barista because it wasn't made right, whatever.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_02: My kids were like, Well, why are they upset?
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, Okay, well, that's just somebody, right, that's had a had a bad day, and they're they're they don't empty their cup, right?
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_02: They don't regulate their cups, so now it's overflowing.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_02: And you've used this example of the cup so many times and like asking for like a venti, but pouring it into a large cup kind of thing, and it's just so true.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's like you can't you can't control that they're not gonna make your coffee right, but you can regulate how you're going to react to that, yes, and it's about like you said react, it's like that reaction mode, and it's like constantly into fight or flight, and that's actually a perfect example of a fight response, yeah.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like literally, when you get like that kind of reaction or you get angry and you take it out, you are literally in a fight response.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: And so sometimes I think people don't realize that they're living in a dysregulated state because it's coming out in subtle ways, like Barista makes your drink wrong and it sends you into a whole like fight-flight reaction, or I don't know, someone cuts you off in traffic and it's a whole fight-flight reaction, right?
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: There's these subtle like ways that I think again have been normalized that signal to your system, like, oh, you're probably not perfectly regulated.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like, was that level of a response really warranted?
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like, right?
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't know.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: It could have been a very simple, like, hey, like, I noticed you made this with I don't know, normal milk instead of black almond milk.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I've had to do that sometimes.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, oh, like, is this almond milk?
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: Oh no, let me make it for you.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm not like, did you not make this with almond milk?
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: I cannot have dairy.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: You gave me dairy.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: I cannot believe it.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: What do I have to do to get a good drink or like that's not what I would do, right?
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: But there are people who like react that way, right?
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: Or like a meal at a table at a restaurant.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, it's I'm so glad you brought that example up because I think there are little nuances.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: And actually, one of the things I have a I think I have a podcast episode on this, but like a kind of like a subtle sign that your nervous system is dysregulated is you know, being very like quick to react, like irritable.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like maybe your kid does a little something and it's like a full-on launch mode, or your partner does something, and you notice that, like, oh, I I kind of went over you may not notice laughter, but you kind of go overboard in your response.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's like this big, bad, worse thing, and they like completely yell at you.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I know because I used to be that kid, my mom was that example of like it's just everything just doesn't warrant that large of a response, and so there are these subtle signs that people can kind of like see and look out for that will show that your nervous system is regulated.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_02: So, what does it look like a day to day to be safe in your nervous system to really anchor in that and be regulated?
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: So day to day, and this is like where I love, I don't know how to say so.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'm stirring the pot.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: I love being honest.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I think people get caught up in the fact that it needs to take 500 million practices a day to be safe in your nervous system, and it shouldn't.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: No, and I think this whole thing about like doing the work is this big thing, and it's so hard, and it's like, well, I have to like meditate for two hours a day, and then I'm gonna put my face in like a bucket of ice water because I saw on TikTok that regulates your nervous system, and then I do an hour of breath work, and then I need to only listen to binaural beats when I walk, and it's just like that's to me, is an eggshell type of life.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like you're to have to do all those things to manage, it's like where people have gone from doing those things to manage their symptoms, we're now getting into that from managing our nervous system.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: We need all of these things, we need 500 practices, and if we don't do them, we're not fine.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: If we don't do them, we're not regulated.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: And to me, you can have habits and practices.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: There are things that I do that naturally foster my nervous system, yeah, but they're not like I if I don't meditate for two hours a day, like I get set off.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: You know, people are like, oh, well, if I don't have that one hour, then like the whole thing is well, that doesn't sound like you're very that sounds very fragile.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like that to me, that sounds like a house of cards that's waiting to fall.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, if I don't perfectly place all of these practices and do all of these things, it's going to crumble.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, are we safe and grounded?
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like, are we those can be great things, but if they are so hyped up that if I don't do all of this stuff, then I am not good and fine.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not even talking about thriving, I'm just talking about I don't feel like normal, calm, collective, grounded unless I have all of these hours spent doing things.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, then I think we're kind of missing the point.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: So I feel like day to day, it doesn't have to be hours and hours of regulating your nervous system.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: It should be kind of like more who you are, but people tend to focus on trying to create safety instead of focusing on what is preventing safety in my system to begin with.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like we're playing catch-up, trying to do all these practices and putting my face in ice water when we're not addressing the looking.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: Why are we dysregulating?
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: Why do we need to shove our face in ice water versus maybe we can shove our face in ice water less often?
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I am a big fan of contrast therapy.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: I love a cold plunge of face water, sure.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: But do I need to do that every day?
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: No, I can't like and I don't think that like that's not what should be required.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: So I think these things are like good practices, but if you find yourself needing these things almost like a crutch or you know, not being able to survive without them, then we've just kind of replaced one complacency with a kind of like another one, and that's not really getting to the root or embodying safety again.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: That's trying to create or slap some like yummy icing over a bad tasting cake when we should be looking at all right, what is preventing your nervous system from being safe in the first place?
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's to me, it's like someone who's trying to be healthy and they, you know, okay, I'm I'm gonna work out, but I'm gonna like eat like garbage.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: So it's just like, oh, why am I not losing weight?
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm working out, but you're eating a box of cookies at night, and it's like, if we fix the box of cookies issue, you're gonna have to run a lot less.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my god, I love that analogy.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: But that's what people are now doing with their nervous system.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: So I feel like, yes, I know the nervous system is trendy now, and we're doing all these things to like regulate in these parasympathetic days, and it's like, are we just playing catch up on like the parasympathetic days from a whole week of being dysregulated?
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: We're dysregulated all week, and then I'm gonna have a parasympathetic day and go for a walk.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_00: That's not safety.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: I like so much love that's not nervous system safety.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like this catch 22 of like, I'm glad that there's more awareness about nervous system, but at the same time, what is actually preventing it?
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: What is your box of cookies that you're just trying to outlop that you're then like, okay, I have to go on this walk because I know if I don't walk, I won't feel this way.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: We probably could just like eliminate the cookies, and then you can still walk, it's still good for you, but it's not a make or break.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_02: So, for someone who maybe can't see beyond their symptoms, what are the telltale signs that they may be ignoring that are indicating they need to bring safety in?
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_02: Kind of like you know, the barista, yelling at the barista, like snapping that quick over a coffee.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: So I would say like the irritability is one, like if you find yourself getting into reaction or what I call like spillover effect, yeah, where it's like you're lashing out, but it can be a spillover of any type of emotion.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe for you, you don't lash out in anger or like yelling, whether it's at someone, your kids, people cut you off, which would be like a fight response.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe for you, you get anxious and you just end up crying, like the smallest thing, and it's just too much, and you feel like you can't handle and it, you know, spills over.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: Classic example, you know, I can think back when my nervous system was dysregulated and I was making recipes and everything like that.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: There would be times where if a recipe didn't work out, it would send me into a full panic like anxiety attack when I would just start bawling my eyes out over a recipe that didn't work out.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like I literally could not handle my body, the fact that like the recipe didn't turn out perfectly, or like that it got stuck, and like I'm trying to get the things out of like the donut mold or the muffin mold, and like breaks apart and it didn't work.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: Full dysregulation, just like that's not like a an appropriate level of response to what happened.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you would think someone died, or like my car, and I'm having a full systemic like fight or flight because things are not like coming out, and now that's happened, and I'm like, oh wow, like I got I can I've taken it out, but I noticed like the difference between now and like years ago, the response, and like, oh yeah, but so many people don't realize those little things where it may not be yelling, but maybe it's sadness, maybe it's crying, maybe it's like hyperventilating, overwhelm from those small things.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_02: That's oh my god, you sharing about the recipes, like knowing you now.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I'm like, I can't even picture that version of you.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_02: That's that's crazy.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_02: Such a good like story, too, and like how things can change, right?
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_02: Because I'm sure so many people are sitting there listening right now, being like, whoa, like I couldn't imagine Liv freaking out over a recipe, but it's like this is what can it can look like like when you heal your nervous system, when you come into regulation.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I think another one people don't notice as well is that automatically, I would say, like, kind of like going to the worst or having a full response, making assumptions of like things you don't even know yet.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: Whether it's like, oh, so-and-so is not texting me back, oh my god, they're not my friend anymore, they hate me.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like, it's like that kind of thing, whether it's like friendships or even relationships, potential romantic partners, it could be work, it could be, you know, someone responds a certain way in an email, and like you're interpreting a tone and you're getting dysregulated, like thinking that they mean one thing and like they don't, and you're making things very personal, and it's like, oh my god, like that type of thing, right?
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: Where it's like, oh yeah, that type of reaction is not warranted, like I don't have any proof, they're not like saying these things, but I noticed that my nervous system kind of goes into these spirals, you know.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I kind of want to touch that because I feel like we gave health, and I want to give like kind of like one more example that I know is coming up a lot in our wealth recode container, like going to the grocery store and getting dysregulated over you know, prices at the grocery store.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, that probably shows that like our nervous system dysregulated when it comes to money.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's just like notice where like a fight or flight is is kicking in, and like asking yourself, hmm, is this level of reaction does it like match what's going on?
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: I am just jumping on this episode to let you guys know that safety is now open.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: This is the brand new program to really anchor in a deep level of safety into your nervous system and to break out of survival mode.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: We are gonna be breaking out of the wounding, the trauma, the conditioning that gives your body the illusion of safety, as well as wiring your nervous system for that survival mode by releasing all of that trapped energy and trauma.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_00: We're also gonna be expanding your nervous system to make it more resilient so that it can hold more.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna be resolving physical symptoms like metabolism, skin, anxiety, gut, all that are linked to the lack of safety, as well as really anchoring that safety into your body so that your nervous system has a default for calm and chill.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: Not to mention, you're no longer gonna be triggered because your nervous system feels safe.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: And you're not only breaking out of survival mode, but you're building a nervous system that actually feels safe to expand because you've released the fears and lack of trust that keeps your system always looking for danger.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: We have four live calls a whole month together where you can also plug in in-between calls for personal support.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: This will be responded to daily.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_00: This is really about knowing exactly what your body actually needs to bring you out of survival mode and into thrival mode, along with the practical integration, so you actually know how to do this in a way that feels safe and solid.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: So if you want to be cracked open, if you're ready to release all of that stuff, if you're ready to go all in for your healing and you know that you are meant for more, join us inside safety.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_00: If you are familiar with Wellnourished, Safety is the foundational program.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: We are breaking apart Well Nourished into separate programs so that not only is it more accessible to everyone, but you can start healing now.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_00: You may not even need all the programs, but safety is the foundational one, so chances are you need this one at least.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: So we're gonna leave all the information down in the description box, but I cannot wait.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: This is truly going to change the game when it comes to anchoring safety into your nervous system, and I cannot wait to see you inside.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my god, I love that.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_02: I love the grocery store analogy too.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_02: That was a good one.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_02: Um, okay, so how does your nervous system and safety affect your life, health, wealth, job, business?
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_02: Kind of like what we just talked about, but a little bit deeper.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like I could.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Could be here for hours explaining all like the different ways because I think what people don't realize is that not only does it affect everything, but it's all interconnected into this giant web of messiness of like your nervous system, how strong it feels, like in your health and with your symptoms, obviously shows up maybe then how you feel in your relationships, right?
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_00: We've all had, you know, maybe you're struggling with hormonal issues or weight issues that maybe affects then how you maybe perceive you're going to have a partner, or whether you'll be able to bring in like someone, you know, who's gonna love you for you, or what maybe how you just feel naked in the bedroom.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: And then we can also get into like you know, self-worth from there, and then we also get into well, if you don't have like the self-worth and the symptoms in the relationship, maybe it's also showing up in like your kids, and it's also showing up in your friendships.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I think the biggest thing to realize is that it's rippling through everything.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, yes, your nervous system shows up in your health because your health physical symptoms are an outward representation of how your nervous system is doing, it's just like a feedback.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's literally our bodies are so smart that it's giving you the exact nervous system root of like, oh look, you have headaches.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_00: Where are you putting too much pressure on yourself?
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_00: Then you actually have to relieve that pressure.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's that simple when it comes to health, but it's also the same with relationships or your money or your business, right?
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_00: Chances are if you're getting dysregulated in one area, you are getting dysregulated in others, but it's also carrying over, right?
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: So, like if you're getting dysregulated, let's say, you know, with wealth or with money, and you have your own business, or even if you like, even if you work a corporate job, that can translate then into how you show up at work.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're putting more pressure on yourself.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_00: That's influencing kind of decisions you make, that's influencing how you show up.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_00: Then maybe we also add in some like fear of being seen and some shame of who you are.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: Well, yeah, that's showing up in like your nervous system, but that's gonna show up in like your relationships, not only you know, in your romantic ones, but at work.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're not sharing opinions, maybe you know, you're not getting that promotion because you're afraid to speak up or you're afraid to be seen.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like, there's so many of these little intricacies that I think people really underestimate that when you solve like the nervous system issue, it ripples into everything.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why you know, in my containers, it gets I try to conceptualize all the different things that can happen, but it's like you come to get rid of your symptoms, but like your relationships improve, like you start making more money, you this, that, because it's like it's everything because you are your nervous system.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_00: And when we think about like, oh, if I have more safety in my nervous system, I'm actually gonna improve my marriage, I'm actually gonna improve my relationship with my kids, I'm actually gonna make more money, I'm actually gonna thrive more in my job, and it becomes so about so much more than like one thing, it's about how that one thing then ripples and affects everything.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_02: So, what is possible, and we've kind of just touched on this, that what's possible once you've anchored in safety?
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_00: The thing with safety is that once that's anchored in and you are so solid, it's like a solid foundation for you to then go to the next level, right?
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_00: So if we think about when there's a lack of safety, it's like you're not feeling good, and then you have to get back up to feeling fine, and then you try to hold fine for a bit, but you get dysregulated and you're not feeling good again.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_00: So, what happens is that nothing can actually compound if there isn't safety, right?
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, I don't know, I did cheerleading.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_00: This might surprise some people.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_00: I was a cheerleader and I was actually head cheerleader.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my god, I love that I didn't fun fact about Liv that I did not know.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I was captain of the cheerleaders.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my god, I love that.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_02: I love it.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_00: But when I think about like building a pyramid of like humans, yeah, right, if the base isn't stable, like the pyramid can't grow.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_00: We can't stop throwing more girls and building the pyramid.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_00: And so when your nervous system is not regulated, you never actually have the chance to grow and kind of scale.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_00: So it's whether that's your relationship, to not, I'm gonna dive into examples, or like your business or your wealth or your health, right?
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing can compound and grow because you're only going from negative to zero.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_00: Negative to zero.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_00: We can't actually build above that, right?
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_00: So if you think about relationships, let's say you're getting dysregulated in, I mean either romantic or even friendships.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, do they love me, do they hate me?
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_00: No, I'm getting a spiral.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I feel neutral again.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe things are okay.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_00: Then I get dip again.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, are they gonna text me back?
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: Do they love me?
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: Blah blah blah, and then you feel neutral.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_00: But you never get to the point where you can develop like this nourishing, yummy polarity relationship because you're constantly just going from the negative dysregulation to zero feeling fine.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_00: Negative to fine.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe in your business you get dysregulated, people are not DMing me.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_00: What are the stripe thingies?
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_00: Negative, okay.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_00: I feel okay.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_00: And then you get dysregulated because you're only good until, and then you're negative to zero, and you never compound past that.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_00: So the biggest thing when it comes to like the nervous system is that nervous system actually allows you to compound and grow.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_00: But so many people are trying to grow and they're like, why am I growing?
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_00: Why aren't I growing?
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_00: Why is this not working?
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_00: And they're caught in the patterns and the loops and the cycles, if you will, because they're going from negative to neutral to zero, negative to zero, and there's no chance for it to actually compound and get bigger.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_00: So we can't put more girls on top of the cheer pyramid because the base is not solid.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: And this is why, like, I don't want to to me, it's not even unsexywork, because to me, I think healing is sexy, but it's it's the foundational stuff that I think people then you know miss, and they're like, Oh, is it a new supplement?
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_00: Do I need to do take this instead?
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_00: Do I need to eat a carrot a day for my hormones?
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_00: Because TikTok said so.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_00: Do I need this new algorithm hack?
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_00: Do I need this person's five-step framework for black?
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_00: No, you probably need safety in your nervous system first and foremost.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_00: I love the TikTok.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_01: I drill this home.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_00: I dress, I drill this home because some like this happens so often when people are trying to unblock.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_00: They're like, all right, I'm gonna do lucky girl method.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_00: Now I'm doing 369.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I don't know what the latest trendy TikTok manifestation thing is, but if you don't have safety, if you don't, your nervous system isn't solid, all of that's kind of irrelevant.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_00: And so, like, when you say like what's possible, it's like nothing is possible until you have that solid foundation.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's like in all aspects of life, people miss doing that first.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like the foundational work that, like, we were saying the house of cards before, or even if you think about a cheer pyramid, that that base it needs to be solid.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I was working on some stuff around wavering, what was it last week?
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I was it was like all coming out, and I was thinking about the big bad wolf, right?
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_00: If your nervousness isn't solid, it's like the big bad wolf and the three little pigs.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_00: Is your house made of straw, or is it solid?
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_00: Where like something happens and the big bad wolf huffs and he puffs and he blows your house down.
• 28:53
  unknown: I love that.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_00: That's a dysregulated nervous system versus like if it's strong, then it comes and you're there.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, and this is where I could draw in so many, you know, I'm gonna give some examples.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna use the oh, it's a recession.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_00: That could be a straw house where like the big Bible of the recession could huff and puff and blow your straw house down, yeah, or you could be that brick house and it's going nowhere, right?
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_00: Someone could come and maybe they break up with you, or you know, I I've had clients go through divorce and separation of like, all right, that could dysregulate you.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_00: They could huff and puff, and that rejection or that abandonment does something and dysregulates you, and your house falls down, or you could be solid.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: You know, family members could get cancer that could blow your house down, or you could be solid.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like you could get health, like the there's so many examples.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_00: You could have health symptoms that could disregulate or be solid.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_00: So I want you to think about like where is your straw house and where are you a brick one?
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe there are some places where your house is like a brick house.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_00: You're like, okay, my marriage is solid.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's a brick house.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_00: The big bad wolf can come puff and puff, and like we're good.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_00: But maybe it's my business that needs a bit of work, maybe it's my money mindset, maybe it's my health, maybe it's my friendships.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're like your relationships romantic-wise are fine, but maybe friendships that need a help, right?
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_00: So there's this big bad wolf.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_00: You want to be a brick house in every scenario where it's like the big bad wolf comes and it's like, no, I'm good.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my god, I love that.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_02: Where's your straw house?
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_02: That is so good.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_02: So what if it comes through?
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_02: It comes through, it comes through, and it that's like a star quote underline.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_02: Like, where is that's like a t-shirt?
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_00: Where is your straw house?
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_00: So I really want people to oh sorry, like I just before you we go on to the next one, I really want people to actually sit because I I know it's one thing to like listen to a podcast and be like, okay, yeah, where is my straw house?
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_00: And be like, no, save this episode, come back and really think of where is my straw house?
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_00: Where do I need to be more resilient?
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_00: Because the thing is, is that another thing.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes people wait until the big bad wolf has come and blown your house down before we build a solid brick house.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, oh, okay, I my house is kind of like made of straw, you know, before the big bad wolf comes, because life happens.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm I can't say everything will always be sunshine and rainbows.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_00: Life will happen.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_00: Can you even like instead of waiting for something bad to happen and then do damage control, can you be like foresight enough to build your house now when you know, oh, it's probably not super solid, but I don't want something to come and blow it down.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_00: Let's reinforce it, build the brick around the straw house so that when it does come, you know, I am good.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the other thing.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what we were asking before about true safety or maybe what blocks people, but they wait until something like has to take it all down in order for them to build safety and security in themselves.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_02: I love that idea.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_02: So, what is your advice to someone who doesn't know?
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_02: They like doesn't quite know they need to anchor in safety and regulate their nervous system, but knows they can't keep living how they are currently.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_02: Sorry, the first part was like who knows that they need to regulate their nervous system?
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_02: Who doesn't maybe know like exactly that it's like okay, like this is what I needed to hear, but just knows that they can't keep living and like this is the next step.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_00: I would say that what you're doing right now is not working.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_00: And so, like there have you have to do something forward, you have to like get yourself out of the mud, if you will.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_00: And so often I see people being stuck in the mud of like, okay, I know this is not good, I know it's not working.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_00: They claim I don't know what to do next, but like as long as you're moving, as long as you're stepping and you're trying to do something, like making shifts, making adjustments, you're going to get out of the mud.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's the biggest thing is that people get stuck in that mud and like they don't know, like they say, I don't know, but there are small things that they know they can do.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_00: And chances are like they've heard something before, they know they need to embody it, they have the information in their head, but it needs to get put into action.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I would say.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like, and that then will not only give you proof, but then you'll build trust within yourself.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_00: That you can actually like move out of the mud.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_00: I think that answered the question.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna trust that that was what was meant to be.
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_02: That was a really I'm sitting there, like that was a really good answer.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_02: That was a really good answer.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_02: So then what's your advice to someone who's listening to this?
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_02: Kind of has came back, re-listened to it, stopped, found their, you know, their straw house, but has like shame, right?
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_02: Like maybe it's they realize their straw house was like their reaction and they're yelling at their kids more, and they they've now gone to that, like, okay, this is kind of the elephant in the room.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_02: This is my straw house.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_02: And they want to heal, but they're so embarrassed that they've just you know lived so long accepting that.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_02: What's your advice to them?
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_00: The biggest thing with shame is that people perceive a situation to be like bad or wrong, right?
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_00: When we feel shameful, it's because we think that that was we did something bad or we did something wrong, versus can you look at it like wow, I am so glad that this was brought to my attention.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_00: I am so glad that like I see this now, versus maybe I could have gone on not seeing it for like a year, 10 years, you know, decades.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_00: And realizing, oh, the most important thing is not what happened in the past, but the fact that I'm aware of it now and I have the power to choose differently.
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_00: Where I see people get caught up is like the shame then prevents them from correcting the behavior because they get caught up in them feeling bad, and I'm going to be completely honest, you make it about yourself.
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_00: So let's say like it is shame that maybe you've snapped at your partner or your kids, like because your capacity's been like, and then you feel bad, and then you're making it about you.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm sorry, with so much love, you are making this about you versus making about, oh, let me shift things so that I don't react that way for my kids.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, well, I did this and I'm so bad.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_00: And it becomes a very I statement, right?
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, shame is very I, I, I.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_00: What if we like took you out of it?
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of like I, I, I, it becomes like outside, like for them, fixing that dynamic, fixing that relationship versus being more concerned about you and yourself and like the the ego part of you that really wants to kind of like I would say wallow in it, because it's like a kind of like a validating thing.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_00: So you get kind of like attention from yourself from wallowing in it of like, hmm, all right, I I can be aware that that wasn't maybe the best behavior.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_00: I can now shift it going forward versus like, oh, I'm so horrible, I'm so this, and getting caught up in the I, I, I.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_02: That is such a good answer.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_02: That's so good.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my god, there's so many good light bulb moments.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_02: Like, like Liv said, this is an episode, like, as you discover your straw house and even your next straw house, right?
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_02: It's like coming back and re-listening to it.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_00: And don't wait to discover, like, actually take an inventory of your houses, right?
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, when it when it comes to what they look like, because if you can be in prevention mode and build it now, like to me, that's that's a super like obviously focus on places where like maybe your house has been blown down already and you know of, but then also like let's reinforce everything else to make sure that's strong.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's also where or people get blocked when it comes to healing, or like I would say even evolving in life, is that like you know, you wait for a problem versus being proactive and addressing things before, like and optimizing before they become a problem, right?
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe you're not like snapping at the barista, yelling that she made your drink wrong or your kids or whatever, but like maybe your capacity you know is dwindling, it hasn't gotten to that point yet, but don't wait it for it to get to that point to then address it.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_00: So you might say, Oh, well, I'm not like snapping at everyone right now, or I'm not like going full-fledged, like crying panic over a recipe that didn't work out or this or spilt milk, as they say, yeah.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_00: But don't wait to that point, right?
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what can we you do to like make it so that you don't then have to play cat, I don't want to say a catch up, but like there's almost like a bigger gap, right?
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because like when your cup is that full, it's like, all right, then we really have to pull you back, versus if you're kind of like, oh, I know I'm probably a little off, I'm a little dysregulated, and we can heal that now.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_00: We don't have to then wait where there's like we have to get you from like being 100, like you know, in terms of dysregulation, to like that that's a lot, it doesn't have to be longer of a journey, but it can be like almost like a longer of a journey to try to like catch up for that or heal that or or bring that out, right?
• 37:45
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 37:45
  SPEAKER_02: It's like you don't have to get to rock bottom to ask for help.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, there is one thing I was like, I wish people didn't have is to get to rock bottom in order to like heal, heal their stuff.
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like, don't wait to like heal your like your money stuff until like you're dysregulated about money.
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_00: Don't wait to heal your health until like you're not like optimize everything, do prevention stuff as well.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, fix the stuff that need fixing, but like if you can be in prevention and in resilient mode and not wait until things are are horrible, then that's gonna be even better.
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_00: Or like maybe it's your marriage or you're this or you're that, like whatever it is.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_00: Don't wait.
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_02: Don't wait.
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_02: So if somebody's sitting here listening right now and they're like, okay, I came back, I'm ready to fix my straw house.
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_02: What container do you recommend they get into right now?
• 38:37
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, the biggest thing is like you need to have safety in your nervous system first, yeah.
• 38:41
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like from safety, everything else then happens.
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_00: So like that's often the foundational step that a lot of people miss.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like, in order to be seen first, like you have to have safety.
• 38:53
  SPEAKER_00: In order to speak your voice, like you have to have safety.
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_00: In order, like everything kind of requires safety first, and that's kind of like why we broke well nourished apart.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_00: We started off like in the three separate programs, like start with safety, because like safety on its own is like that needs to be the first and foremost.
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_00: That's like like we said with the house of cards or like the cheerleader pyramid.
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_00: That is the foundation that you need safety first.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_00: So, like that for sure, because then that safety might be enough of what you need to speak your voice.
• 39:23
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe safety would be fine for you.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if you do safety and like then you still need to work on like your throat and being like speaking your voice, then you can go into like personal power.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_00: But we can't have personal power if we don't have safety in ourselves.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, like so.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_00: When people try to work on their personal power, but they don't have safety, that's the missing link.
• 39:40
  SPEAKER_00: And so I remember I had this light bulb moment of like safety, safety, safety, safety.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_00: Everything is like safety first, and then maybe other things as well, but like the foundation needs to be safety because if that's not there, then there's nothing else.
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_00: So I would say safety, and then I mean, honestly, I would just recommend people we always link everything down below.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I know people have done this before, you know, just DM me saying like this is where I'm struggling, this is where I'm at, and I'll point you in like which container or which combo of containers or like where to start.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, depending on kind of where you are, what kind of work you've done.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like, because I feel like some people they have done maybe a little bit of work.
• 40:18
  SPEAKER_00: Some people are brand new and they don't even know what like somatic release is or trauma work is or or anything like that.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_00: So everyone, like there's so many different containers for people at different levels.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like, we even have regulate, which is just like the easy peasy like lifestyle stuff that 90, I would say 95% of women who come to me, even like one-on-ones come to me, they haven't done like the stuff in regulate, even and that's just like a masterclass.
• 40:41
  SPEAKER_00: So you like do that and embody that.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_00: So I feel like no matter where you are or where you're at, there's a container and a level for you, and there's something that you could do.
• 40:49
  SPEAKER_00: The most important thing is that you do something.
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's where I think people like get like I don't want to say analysis paralysis, but like, should I do this?
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_00: Should I do that?
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_00: And like, just do something.
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_00: Just make one move, just start, just like start doing something for it so that you can start regulating.
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_02: I love that because I do think there's like, like you said, it's like one thing to, you know, listen to this podcast, but then it's another thing to like make the next move afterwards, right?
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_02: And not just get stuck in like, oh, okay, this podcast had me highlight, you know, my straw house, so now I'm gonna wait for the next podcast to do this, right?
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_02: It's like not waiting and just making the next move to build your brook house.
• 41:25
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my god, that's I love the straw house now.
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm definitely gonna use this kind of like going forward for sure, because I feel like it was it was so good.
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like we touched on so many again things that are very important because and I don't know if I said this in the last podcast episode as well.
• 41:41
  SPEAKER_00: I know I've said it on my Instagram.
• 41:43
  SPEAKER_00: People focus so much on trying to create safety versus realizing what is preventing it.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so I know we touched a lot on like what's preventing it, but that that's the key.
• 41:51
  SPEAKER_00: That's the box of cookies.
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, save this episode, re-listen to us when you forget.
• 41:58
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely, and let's start having nervous systems that are like safe, solid, and unwavering.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 42:05
  SPEAKER_02: So good.
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_00: I love when you introduce.
• 42:08
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like you ask such good questions.
• 42:09
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we get it, you get you pull all these good analogies from right?
• 42:13
  SPEAKER_02: The straw house?
• 42:13
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I'm over here, like, okay, so uh we are trademarking like the straw house analogy.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_02: Like, this is now like a litism.
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_02: It's gonna be quoted.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I love how you like you explained the stuff about like the the barisa to your kids.
• 42:29
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's just like so.
• 42:31
  SPEAKER_00: I know we're gonna be doing like kind of like parenting or like you know, kids' emotional stuff, but I feel like you're just such a a good example.
• 42:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm glad that you're role modeling that for like your children.
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's just so important.
• 42:43
  SPEAKER_00: I just want that's just my little compliment to you at the end of the podcast.
• 42:46
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, good job, Morgan.
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, I don't want to raise another generation of like dysregulated people running out into the world.
• 42:56
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I am one of those moms that like my kids will drive down the road and they're like, I think I've lived here before, mom.
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, okay, tell me everything about your past sit down and mom's gonna jot it out in a book right now.
• 43:07
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I am that that parent.
• 43:09
  SPEAKER_02: I love that stuff.
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_00: See, like, I'm not gonna lie, the biggest thing I'm excited for with kids right now is when they're old enough when I can ask you, what planet did you come from?
• 43:20
  SPEAKER_00: Where were you before this?
• 43:22
  SPEAKER_00: Who were your parents before me?
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I I'm I cannot wait.
• 43:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like that kid.
• 43:27
  SPEAKER_00: I I just want to like ask all children this because I think it's so I feel like we talked about this on a podcast episode before.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I'm having deja vu, but like there's this one about like there's a kid with a Gucci, and like he apparently was Gucci in a past lifetime, like Gucci.
• 43:41
  SPEAKER_00: And like they're asking, like the mom's asking questions, and he's giving answers that are like, you know, what was your wife's name?
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_00: And like he's saying the name of like Gucci, like it's crazy stuff, and I know there's so many examples of this, but like I know.
• 43:54
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like also the kids that are coming right now are are very special kind of breeds.
• 43:58
  SPEAKER_00: So I love that you're doing that, and I think they our kids teach us so much, and we just need I mean that's a whole separate episode, but I say our kids, what am I saying?
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, like you know what I mean.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, kids teach you so much, they like make you realize so much, and even like though there are questions and through their part of the thing, like I know you're helping them, but I also feel like they're just they're oh they're teaching or like a drawing, like you know, oh, like noticing things that you may not have noticed before.
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like having my kids really helped me start to connect the dots, like, oh, that's not normal.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_02: Like watching, like, you know, another mom, you know, not to mom shame, but like freak out at the park when her kid had like a temper tangent, right?
• 44:40
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I they started having me connect the dots of like, hmm, that's not okay.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_02: Like, that's not how we're supposed to live, right?
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_02: Like freaking out the breeze at like, yeah, you shouldn't get mad at somebody because of a coffee, right?
• 44:51
  SPEAKER_02: Like, they started to really connect the dots for me.
• 44:54
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I'm so glad you said that because I just want to like reiterate like none of that what we talked about is any kind of like shaming to anyone, or whether you're a mom, this is an awareness for you.
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, there's no shame, there's no judgment.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you might be like, Liv, you don't have kids, you don't understand.
• 45:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I still have things that happen to me in life.
• 45:10
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 45:11
  SPEAKER_00: But like also, Morgan's a mom, and so I can like I can just bang on Laura being like, no, she's a mom, and she also agrees.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_00: So, like a little stamp of approval of like that might have happened in the past, but this is an invitation to have like it be different.
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I I you know, we're gonna have to do a mom parenting episode because I also do feel like mom's capacities are actually just they're stretched too much, and like they are actually not even given like the their nervous system support, whether like they're not giving it to themselves or like their the support system is they're just not getting what they need.
• 45:45
  SPEAKER_00: So I know it's like making it like that and like the sleeplessness, but I feel like there are definitely ways like where you can optimize and we can do that, and that doesn't have to be normal because I know plenty of moms where like that's that's not like the normal case.
• 45:55
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm so glad you said that.
• 45:57
  SPEAKER_00: No shame, but also let's fix that.
• 45:59
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 45:59
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my god, I love that.
• 46:00
  SPEAKER_02: I love this conversation, they're always so good.
• 46:03
  SPEAKER_00: They are.
• 46:04
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, Morgan, for interviewing me.
• 46:05
  SPEAKER_00: And thanks guys for listening.
• 46:07
  SPEAKER_00: If you got value from this episode, I would love for you to share it, send it to friends, family.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_00: I know you guys have been also like sharing it on your Instagram stories and tagging me.
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_00: We love to see it and we love to help the world be a more regulated place.
• 46:21
  SPEAKER_00: And with that being said, if you have any questions about containers or anything I said, send me a message on Instagram.
• 46:26
  SPEAKER_00: We'll kind of point you in the right direction.
• 46:27
  SPEAKER_00: We'll also leave links to different containers we talked about down below, and we will talk to you guys next time.