Latest / The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook / Mental Health Days, Neurospicy Life & Self-Care with Amy Taylor

Transcript

Mental Health Days, Neurospicy Life & Self-Care with Amy Taylor · The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook

• 0:01
  Hello, Melissa Crook here with The Field Podcast.
• 0:04
  Welcome back today as we get ready to listen to mental health
• 0:09
  days, Neuro, Spicy life and self-care with our friend Amy
• 0:13
  Taylor. There's ways to engage with
• 0:16
  today's episode or to think about the following.
• 0:19
  Take a mental health day. It's a challenge and a privilege
• 0:23
  to take time off of work when you need it the most.
• 0:26
  But if you're able, take a day off to replenish and nourish
• 0:30
  your body the way it deserves to be.
• 0:33
  We hope this is something you could partake in.
• 0:36
  And even if you can't do a full day, can you find time or
• 0:39
  minutes or a few hours in a day? This is such an important piece
• 0:45
  to make sure we're addressing and filling our cups when it
• 0:48
  comes to our mental health. So we hope this is gives you
• 0:51
  something to think about and something to engage with
• 0:55
  throughout your week. And as you listen to this
• 0:57
  episode today with our good friend Amy Taylor.
• 1:00
  Thanks so much for being with us.
• 1:18
  Hello Field podcast audience. We are back this week and I am
• 1:22
  so happy to have this guest with me.
• 1:25
  She and I met through our good friends at Pod Match.
• 1:28
  I've had a chance to guest with her and now she's getting an
• 1:31
  opportunity to come here and be a guest with me.
• 1:35
  So yes, she does have a podcast who will talk more about that as
• 1:38
  we get into this conversation. But Amy Taylor is here with me
• 1:43
  today and she describes herself as loyal, loving, kind,
• 1:49
  generous, family oriented, progressive, open minded and
• 1:54
  self aware. And I want to sit with that
• 1:57
  self-awareness piece for a minute because Amy is very self
• 2:01
  aware and Amy has the courage to speak up for herself and set
• 2:06
  healthy boundaries and say no to things when she's, you know, not
• 2:11
  in the mind space she wants to be in for them.
• 2:13
  And I think that is such a courageous choice because we as
• 2:18
  women, so many times will default to, well, I've made this
• 2:22
  commitment. I just got to do this.
• 2:24
  And they'll get whatever they get from me.
• 2:26
  But I can't say no. Instead of like, you know what?
• 2:30
  Maybe not feeling like my best self today.
• 2:34
  These other things have come up. It's going to be better for me
• 2:37
  and this appointment, this person, this interaction, if I
• 2:41
  ask if we can wait. And I am always willing to be
• 2:46
  like, yes, yes, and yes. And more of us should do that.
• 2:49
  And it gives me the courage to do it as well.
• 2:52
  So I wanted to say that up front for welcoming you, Amy to The
• 2:56
  Field Podcast. Well, thank you, Melissa.
• 2:59
  I'm really happy to be here. Thank you for that nice
• 3:02
  introduction. Absolutely.
• 3:04
  And I think, you know, we're going to get into the talking
• 3:06
  points here, but we talk about all the time on the field
• 3:10
  podcast, you hear me say this all the time, people that are
• 3:13
  have been here with me for a while, that we have to take
• 3:16
  stigmas off of these areas and impacts in our life that affect
• 3:22
  our ability to embrace our layers, that affect our ability
• 3:27
  to feel. The name of this podcast,
• 3:29
  Finding empowerment, Embracing layers.
• 3:31
  Amy does that and you're good. That's going to unfold as we
• 3:35
  have the conversation today. She is willing, and that's why
• 3:39
  I'm so excited to have her here because we need more of us doing
• 3:42
  this work. Willing to have the
• 3:44
  conversations and bring up the topics that there are so many
• 3:49
  unfair and unsupported stigmas around, but they've built over
• 3:54
  time and fear builds and thoughts build and narratives
• 3:57
  built. But it takes some of us to go in
• 4:00
  there and break those things up and speak truth.
• 4:02
  And Amy does that. And so let's get into it, my
• 4:07
  friend. How to prioritize self-care in
• 4:10
  your life and what that looks like for you.
• 4:13
  Yeah, well, I, like you said, we'll let you know when I need
• 4:20
  to reschedule something because I'm just not in the right place.
• 4:23
  I'll also take a day off from work now and then just to have a
• 4:26
  mental health day. I try not to do that very often,
• 4:33
  but sometimes you need to. I also just make sure sometimes
• 4:38
  I get a nice long hot shower and I stay in there extra long and
• 4:42
  just like let it flow over me and just relax with the heat,
• 4:48
  you know what I mean? Yeah, I, you know, and I'm glad
• 4:51
  you said that. It doesn't have to be these big,
• 4:54
  wild, dramatic, expensive or time.
• 4:58
  Is that something? That's something we already do.
• 5:00
  We're already getting in the shower for the day.
• 5:03
  So taking that moment to be present, to just let it fall
• 5:07
  over you, take a deep breath, let the steam settle in.
• 5:11
  I think that's an example of a great simple thing that you can
• 5:15
  plug into something you're already doing your day, that we
• 5:19
  can become a self-care moment. Yes, yes, and I also spend a lot
• 5:24
  of time with friends and family. My parents only live a couple
• 5:27
  miles away and I see them alive and that always makes me feel
• 5:31
  better. Yeah, absolutely.
• 5:33
  Is this where do you think in your journey?
• 5:36
  At what point did you realize how important the self-care
• 5:40
  piece was? Oh my gosh, probably in my 30s.
• 5:44
  Yeah. That's when I found out that I
• 5:47
  had bipolar disorder and I knew I needed to start doing things
• 5:52
  differently and taking better care of myself.
• 5:55
  Yeah, yeah, it's nothing. You know, I think that's another
• 5:58
  thing to this interesting so many times as women and I think
• 6:02
  the 30s is a big wake up call like decade for all of us in so
• 6:06
  many ways. We've finally kind of grown into
• 6:08
  our bodies, our brains have stopped developing, we've moved
• 6:11
  into life. We've been settled in and all
• 6:13
  things things start unfolding and we start making realizations
• 6:16
  start coming to the surface. And then we start realizing that
• 6:20
  maybe we need to flip some scripts of how we've been
• 6:22
  walking things out because it's not serving us.
• 6:25
  But also coming to grips with things that are difficult in our
• 6:31
  health journey that we've got to like, I've got to rethink how I
• 6:34
  approach my life. And, you know, bipolar is one of
• 6:38
  those things that has a lot of stigmas around it.
• 6:41
  And there's a lot of inaccurate information and misunderstanding
• 6:46
  out there about that. So being even willing to say
• 6:49
  that and talk about it and they're like, you know, I need
• 6:51
  to just care for myself differently in a way that's
• 6:54
  going to attend to this and also not be afraid to say it.
• 6:59
  And I think that's something where we have moved down the
• 7:04
  road and we're getting better at our Ferris, my friend Paris, my
• 7:09
  Ferris, my Ferris, my friend Paris, my friend Paris
• 7:12
  Prinkovitz. Now Periscobi has been on with
• 7:16
  us a couple of times talking about her journey.
• 7:18
  She has the live well bipolar brand that she has a book and
• 7:23
  she has courses. She's done a podcast in the
• 7:26
  past. So we're starting to hear more
• 7:28
  conversations about it. But that self-care piece and
• 7:32
  knowing like, but also too, I think we as women, it's a lesson
• 7:36
  like we don't have to wait until we hit a wall or get a diagnosis
• 7:40
  to take care of ourselves. But all of us that I know that
• 7:43
  do, it's a wake up call and we all of a sudden we become
• 7:48
  activists of sorts. We want people to know that this
• 7:53
  happens and there's a way to walk this out in a healthy way
• 7:56
  and you can do it and it's possible.
• 7:57
  And it seems like once you know, you just can't hold it in.
• 8:01
  You want to share it with other people?
• 8:03
  Right. Well, when I was 30, I didn't
• 8:05
  want to tell anybody. I was very weaker live.
• 8:09
  I hopefully had another wake up call.
• 8:11
  I got thyroid cancer a couple years ago.
• 8:14
  And so I was in my early 50s. I still AM.
• 8:17
  And that's when that happened. And I thought, you know what,
• 8:22
  I'm going to live life out loud. I'm going to do what I want to
• 8:26
  do. And I thought I've always wanted
• 8:28
  to either write a book or start a podcast on mental health.
• 8:32
  And I thought, you know what, I'm going to do it.
• 8:34
  I don't care what anybody thinks.
• 8:36
  I want everybody to know. And I did it.
• 8:39
  Yeah. Thank you for sharing that
• 8:40
  because I think that is not unlike A journeys that a lot of
• 8:43
  us go down. I have dealt with anxiety
• 8:47
  quietly for years and it wasn't until probably five years ago
• 8:54
  that the realization my husband's like, honey, this is a
• 8:58
  real thing and it's, and it's time to really dig into this and
• 9:02
  get to the root of it and, and get and get the help that you
• 9:06
  and support that you need. And it's OK to do that.
• 9:09
  It's time, it's past time. And so I know what you mean.
• 9:13
  You kind of get to a point where you're like, no, I do not care
• 9:16
  anymore. I, I'm not, I'm not going to
• 9:18
  live my life feeling like there's spaces and places.
• 9:22
  I can't talk about it. It doesn't mean I live all the
• 9:25
  spaces and places, but I'm not going to live where parts of my
• 9:28
  life are over here in a secret and parts of my life we don't
• 9:31
  talk about. I'm going to live life wide
• 9:33
  open. And it's going to also, and I
• 9:36
  think you've seen this too. It's going to be an invitation
• 9:40
  to others to do the same. And people are going to see that
• 9:44
  and be like, wait a minute, I can be honest about this too.
• 9:47
  It creates space for more of us to be honest about, you know,
• 9:51
  what it is we're actually dealing with.
• 9:55
  And to not feel alone. We finally.
• 9:57
  Realize, Oh my gosh, it's not just me that's going through
• 10:00
  this. There are so many others.
• 10:03
  Yeah, absolutely, 100%. Thank you so much.
• 10:05
  All right, talk to me about confidently setting boundaries,
• 10:09
  healthy boundaries in your life, boundaries around your time.
• 10:12
  You seem like you've got a really good grasp on that now.
• 10:15
  But talk to me about your journey with that and how that's
• 10:18
  evolved because you're a busy person.
• 10:20
  You've got you've got a lot of things going on.
• 10:23
  Yeah, I still struggle with that.
• 10:25
  I I think I I especially struggle when it comes to my
• 10:29
  family. Like I said, I like to spend a
• 10:31
  lot of time with them, but sometimes I have to put up
• 10:33
  boundaries and say I can't come down for a couple weekends
• 10:36
  because I've got too much to do. Like when I went back to
• 10:38
  college, I was constantly doing homework on the weekends.
• 10:42
  So because I work a full time job too, and my son was very
• 10:48
  upset that I wasn't seeing my grandkids often enough.
• 10:53
  And so I, you know, I thought, Oh my gosh, I got to figure this
• 10:56
  out. I got to be able to do
• 10:57
  everything all at once. I even, you know, said I'd
• 11:02
  babysit and went down there and took my homework down there.
• 11:04
  Like I'm going to be able to do homework with three little kids.
• 11:07
  I'm going to. No one wanted that one.
• 11:12
  Right. But I finally sat down with my
• 11:15
  son and said, you know what, I'm sorry, I'm being the best
• 11:18
  grandma I can be. I love them.
• 11:19
  You know I love them. I'm going to see them as much as
• 11:22
  I can, but sometimes I have other things to do.
• 11:26
  Yeah, Yeah. I think it's that's so
• 11:28
  important. I'm so glad you brought that up
• 11:30
  because I think that can be a really tricky balance for us and
• 11:35
  and managing having adult children and then grandkids.
• 11:39
  It's like I still have to find time to care for me.
• 11:42
  I still have a life of my own, my own identity outside these
• 11:47
  roles that I love, but I have to find space to do those things
• 11:51
  for me, to fill my cup that make me feel refreshed and whole so
• 11:55
  that when I am with you, I'm present, I'm focused, I'm here,
• 12:00
  and I'm not feeling divided. So thank you for sharing that
• 12:03
  because I think that's something I'm, you know, that a lot of
• 12:07
  women our age experience in these different transitions and
• 12:11
  in new transitions and managing other people's expectations,
• 12:16
  which we'll get into, you know, versus our own, which we'll get
• 12:19
  into down the road. But talk to me next about Yeah,
• 12:22
  because that's a big one. We'll get back to that.
• 12:24
  Hold that thought. Talk to me about taking care of
• 12:29
  your emotional health, mental health, physical health, All
• 12:33
  these things are connected and intertwined.
• 12:36
  Talk to me about your practices that really help you in those
• 12:40
  areas. Well, sleep is a big, big, big
• 12:44
  thing. I have to go to sleep at least
• 12:46
  by 10:00 and sleep till like 7. I mean, I get a lot of sleep and
• 12:53
  I'll still want to take a nap the next day, but I need that.
• 12:57
  If I don't have that sleep with the bipolar disorder, I will
• 13:00
  either get manic because I'm not sleeping or I will become
• 13:05
  depressed and want to sleep all the time.
• 13:07
  I have to be very careful. Yeah, yeah.
• 13:09
  And I also, I do things like I have a daughter here with me, so
• 13:14
  she's 14, so I still have a young one too.
• 13:17
  Oh my gosh. And so I, you know, try to get
• 13:20
  her to go out and do things with me and get her out of the house.
• 13:23
  So she's doing some self-care cuz she's a homebody.
• 13:27
  And I don't know, it's hard. You got to find that little
• 13:30
  space where you can do certain things.
• 13:32
  So I don't go as walk walking as much as I should, but I do do
• 13:37
  that. But just trying to be careful
• 13:41
  not to eat sugar all day long because that doesn't help me
• 13:44
  that I would if I could. Oh.
• 13:48
  My gosh, I think that's a lot of our, a lot of our Achilles
• 13:51
  heels. I can relate to that.
• 13:53
  Yeah, I just, it's, it's really the normal things that everybody
• 13:58
  does. I just have to be more
• 14:00
  particular that I get them done. It's more important because I'm
• 14:03
  going to fall. I can fall far.
• 14:06
  If I don't get stay on that track, yeah, I think that's a
• 14:11
  great example of how our bodies and have the chemical reactions
• 14:16
  and the different things that can throw us off when we're
• 14:18
  dealing with certain health, you know, challenges or health, you
• 14:22
  know, diagnosis that we have to be really mindful of those
• 14:26
  impacts. It's not just an impact that
• 14:28
  someone that doesn't deal with bipolar or would not deal with.
• 14:32
  It's something very specific that if I do too much, for me
• 14:36
  it's caffeine. If I if I do too much caffeine,
• 14:40
  the anxiety is just boom, it's off and running.
• 14:43
  Instead of starting down here, I'm starting up here and and
• 14:47
  moving upward. That impacts my blood.
• 14:49
  Pressure the shaking if I do that.
• 14:52
  Gosh, my chest tightens up like there's just so many things.
• 14:55
  So I think it's that just those mindful connections and sleep.
• 14:58
  Oh my gosh, sleep is and I I've become acutely aware of the
• 15:03
  sleep issue because it's I started to be, I was a champion
• 15:06
  sleeper for most of my life until about 3 years ago and it
• 15:08
  started becoming an issue and boy, sleep, just that basic
• 15:13
  narrative of sleep impacts so many.
• 15:15
  Parts of our health as you get older it sleep becomes a serious
• 15:21
  like hard thing to get done sometimes.
• 15:25
  Like I have trouble falling asleep.
• 15:27
  I wake up several times during the night.
• 15:30
  So I actually have a prescription and take
• 15:33
  prescription meds for that because otherwise I just don't
• 15:36
  sleep at night. I do become manic.
• 15:39
  Yeah. I mean, and I think that's
• 15:40
  something we have to be really mindful of.
• 15:42
  I'm going to a sleep specialist in about six weeks because it's,
• 15:46
  yeah, OK, I got to get a handle on this because I'm seeing the
• 15:49
  impacts in other parts of my health where my doctor's like,
• 15:52
  before we address these other things, I think sleep is the
• 15:56
  core issue. So let's answer that problem.
• 15:58
  And I think these other things are going to resolve themselves.
• 16:01
  So yes, I know, isn't it? I mean, it's amazing.
• 16:05
  So thank you for mentioning this sleepy such a important piece.
• 16:07
  So ladies, get your sleep. And if you're not getting your
• 16:10
  sleep, get some help to get your sleep.
• 16:13
  It's so important. All right, supporting ourselves
• 16:17
  and other women and living unapologetically.
• 16:20
  That is what you're doing right now.
• 16:21
  I mean, how you're living your life.
• 16:23
  The podcast, the newsletter, your newsletter is so good.
• 16:29
  I get so many great and I'll respond to you every so often
• 16:32
  like any that is so good. That hit right here for me.
• 16:36
  It is so intentional. It's so well thought of.
• 16:39
  It's so spot on and you are helping so many other people
• 16:44
  with that. Now.
• 16:45
  When did you and you talked about having the health scare a
• 16:48
  few years ago with with the thyroid cancer mean like was
• 16:53
  that the turning point for you where it's like, you know what?
• 16:56
  These I found these resources that help me and by golly, I'm
• 17:00
  going to talk about it and help others too.
• 17:04
  Oh, yeah, I finally realized that the death was was coming
• 17:10
  for us all someday because, you know, you live your life and you
• 17:13
  think, oh, I'm not going to die. I'm going to live forever.
• 17:16
  And and I'm in, you know, I'm what are you?
• 17:20
  What's that word in convinced in?
• 17:22
  Oh, I can't think. Yeah, I know what you're talking
• 17:24
  about, Invincible. That was thank you, Thank you.
• 17:31
  That's one of my problems from the meds.
• 17:33
  Think of the words I want. But anyway, when I, when I got
• 17:38
  cancer and I really started to think, Oh my God, someday I am
• 17:41
  going to die. Not from thyroid cancer because
• 17:43
  that luckily is one of the best cancers you can get.
• 17:46
  But I had to go through a lot of surgery and radiation, take
• 17:51
  radioactive iodine and all this stuff.
• 17:54
  And so I thought, you know what? I just want, I've always wanted
• 17:59
  to help other people, and I'm a social worker, so I do that as
• 18:03
  my day job. But I wanted to do it more.
• 18:06
  I wanted to matter more. And so I thought, you know what?
• 18:10
  I don't have the rest of my life to do this.
• 18:13
  Yeah. I don't even know how long the
• 18:14
  rest of my life is. I need to do it now.
• 18:18
  Yeah, yeah, I love that. I know.
• 18:20
  I think that you hit that. So we don't know.
• 18:22
  I think we'd like to pretend. We like to pretend we have an
• 18:25
  idea because it gives us some weird unrealistic sense of
• 18:29
  control. But the truth of the matter is
• 18:31
  so there's there's that thing that you've been waiting to do.
• 18:34
  Don't wait. You were designed to do it.
• 18:37
  If it's nudging at you and calling to you, respond to that
• 18:41
  call because you don't know. You don't know who needs it.
• 18:44
  You, you don't realize until you start doing this kind of work,
• 18:47
  how much is going to help you. And, and it's, it's the
• 18:51
  opportunity. Time is now.
• 18:52
  So thank you for that. I'm so thankful for how you've
• 18:55
  decided to show up in these spaces.
• 18:57
  I know it makes a difference for so many people.
• 19:00
  And this probably really goes nicely into coming back to your
• 19:04
  why and your values and everything you do.
• 19:07
  You mentioned you're a social worker.
• 19:09
  You're already designed, it's already authentic for you to
• 19:12
  help people. So this this for your why and
• 19:16
  your values behind the work that you're doing.
• 19:19
  On top of that now with the podcast, with the newsletter,
• 19:23
  it, I would imagine that played a big part of it of you making
• 19:26
  this decision of like, I'm just going to, I'm going to respond
• 19:29
  to that. I'm going to believe in that.
• 19:32
  Yeah, I, you know, I was raised helping people.
• 19:36
  I mean, when I was little, my mom helped people and she, she
• 19:40
  probably talked to me about some things that she shouldn't have
• 19:43
  too early on. And I became her friend, you
• 19:45
  know what I mean? So I have always wanted to help
• 19:49
  other women. And as I grew up, I had this
• 19:52
  serious, this trait where I just like wanted everything to be
• 19:58
  fair. And I saw that life was not fair
• 20:01
  for women. And.
• 20:03
  We weren't getting the same things men were getting.
• 20:06
  And so that's why I think my love is to help women.
• 20:10
  And it's not that I don't love men.
• 20:12
  I love my dad, I love my son, but they haven't had the same
• 20:19
  kind of life that women have. They haven't faced the same
• 20:22
  discrimination. So that that was always
• 20:26
  important to me. Yeah, I, I think, yeah, I think
• 20:29
  it's just it comes back to that, that scenario of you.
• 20:34
  There's just men cannot understand what it's like to
• 20:37
  walk in women's shoes and women can't understand what it's like
• 20:40
  to walk in men's shoes. It goes both ways.
• 20:42
  But so many times, because of the way the narratives have been
• 20:45
  set up, men have been given first opportunities to speak
• 20:50
  about things. It's like you don't know
• 20:51
  anything about that. You don't have any idea what it
• 20:54
  is like to live in that or walk that out and you can't.
• 20:58
  You're, I mean, there's no possible way you can have that
• 21:01
  experience. So why not bring women into the
• 21:03
  conversation and defer to people who can't have that experience?
• 21:09
  And how can do that? Yeah, that's like in the medical
• 21:13
  arena. We're just now in 2025, starting
• 21:19
  to the last few years, starting to investigate how women react
• 21:23
  to different medications and how their bodies react to different
• 21:26
  medical situations. We haven't known because we've
• 21:30
  only studied men and I'm I'm just a gas that when I found out
• 21:36
  that we hadn't studied women that all of a sudden we're
• 21:38
  going, oh, I wonder, I wonder how the menstrual cycle effects
• 21:44
  this or, you know, we just haven't asked.
• 21:48
  Yeah, yeah. And all those crazy, It is crazy
• 21:51
  because it does make such a difference when it there's so
• 21:54
  many things that are different in our bodies, the menstrual
• 21:58
  cycles having and then all the things that come within that,
• 22:01
  whether you have a regular, regular menstrual cycle or
• 22:05
  whether you have things that are that complicate that, whether
• 22:08
  it's PCOS or just longer periods.
• 22:11
  I mean, there's so many subcategories to just that
• 22:14
  pregnancy, infertility, postpartum, perimenopause, I
• 22:19
  mean, there's so many variables that only we experience.
• 22:24
  So I'm with you. Like I'm just flabbergasted at
• 22:27
  what hasn't been talked about in medical school.
• 22:30
  What has what still not being taught to doctors, what has
• 22:34
  still just now starting to get attention research wise.
• 22:38
  It's like, wow, this is incredible hopeful, but also
• 22:41
  like, how are we, how are we just now getting here?
• 22:44
  But but I mean, I think it's just such an imperative and it
• 22:48
  takes, again, it takes us having these conversations.
• 22:51
  It takes us speaking up about our experiences and sharing our
• 22:56
  stories so that we can like, this is my lived experience.
• 22:59
  This is something I'm making up. This isn't something that is,
• 23:03
  you know, subjective. This is my experience.
• 23:06
  And so because of that, others out there, we need to talk about
• 23:10
  these things so they have accurate information to for
• 23:14
  these studies. So they, it keeps quit, quit
• 23:17
  keeping the pressure on to continue down this road that
• 23:21
  we're not going to be forgotten and sit back and ignored
• 23:25
  anymore. So thank you.
• 23:27
  I get very fired. Nobody hears us.
• 23:30
  Well, that's just it, That's just it.
• 23:32
  It's never been more important. And we have to be even louder in
• 23:36
  the state of the world we're in right now and, and just continue
• 23:39
  bringing up these topics and, and not backing down.
• 23:43
  So thank you for speaking to that because I think it's just
• 23:45
  so important. And and again, women, that's why
• 23:48
  I go to you. If you've got that thing that's
• 23:50
  you've got that feeling that you need to be pursuing something,
• 23:53
  respond to it, listen to it. We need all of our voices
• 23:56
  engaged in these conversations based on our own stories and
• 24:00
  experiences so we can continue to bring these to the forefront.
• 24:04
  So good. OK, getting back to living out
• 24:08
  of our own expectations versus others.
• 24:10
  You gave a great example earlier where everyone's intentions were
• 24:14
  good. Your son wanting you to spend
• 24:16
  time with your grandchildren is a great thing.
• 24:19
  That's a good, you know, but also not losing yourself in the
• 24:23
  process because much like being mothers and having jobs and
• 24:29
  careers, we can very easily lose ourselves in these roles if we
• 24:34
  don't stay attentive to caring for ourselves, to filling our
• 24:37
  cup, to doing things that nourishes to to engaging in
• 24:42
  activities that feel authentic to us that sometimes we need to
• 24:46
  do away from the noise or just on our own.
• 24:50
  So having that balance and being willing to have those
• 24:53
  conversations and clearly communicate, I love you and I'm
• 24:57
  going to show up for you all the time, but I want to show up as
• 25:00
  my best self, not as a self that feels guilty or deplete, you
• 25:05
  know? And so and, and like you said,
• 25:09
  these can be hard conversations, but they're so necessary for our
• 25:12
  own well-being. They are.
• 25:16
  And I think not only do I want to show up for my grandchildren,
• 25:20
  I want to be a role model for them as well.
• 25:23
  And so they're looking at me and I want them to see me doing
• 25:26
  things on my own and succeeding and things that I tried at the
• 25:31
  age of 50. But you know, it doesn't matter
• 25:33
  how old you are. And I want them to be inspired
• 25:37
  too, not just play with grandma every time, you know what I
• 25:41
  mean? There's there's a lot more to
• 25:42
  life than than getting on your hands and knees.
• 25:45
  I do that too. But you got to.
• 25:47
  You got to live your life and let people see that.
• 25:51
  Yeah, I love that because I think too, what we underestimate
• 25:54
  about kids with our own children and grandchildren is they
• 25:58
  remember those, they remember how you lived.
• 26:01
  They remember, like you can say one thing, but then if they
• 26:04
  don't see you living it out, it's not gonna stick.
• 26:08
  But they see how you live. They see it the decisions you
• 26:10
  make and they remember and have more impact than I think we
• 26:14
  realize until they get older and they go back to you, you talk to
• 26:18
  you about this thing that you're just like, that was just me
• 26:21
  being me, but it stuck with them and and you know, they remember
• 26:26
  that. So I love that example of just
• 26:27
  like I want them to see me living as my full authentic
• 26:31
  self, taking care of myself. So that and and not giving
• 26:35
  myself and my time I'm away so much that I'm depleted and tired
• 26:39
  and I and I don't value me and and how I'm to me.
• 26:45
  Yeah, such a good example there. All right, accepting the layered
• 26:49
  aspects of ourselves. You mentioned something earlier,
• 26:52
  and I can wholeheartedly, it's different in my story, but I can
• 26:55
  relate to the concept of when you first were diagnosed with
• 26:59
  bipolar at age 30, you didn't want to talk about it.
• 27:03
  We all have those layers and pieces of our lives that we're
• 27:06
  like, I can't believe this is happening.
• 27:10
  I don't want to talk about this. What are people going to think?
• 27:14
  There's so many stigmas around this.
• 27:16
  People won't understand. I mean, there's what are, what's
• 27:20
  my work going to think? What's my family going to think?
• 27:22
  And all these things are swimming around in our heads.
• 27:25
  And we treat thoughts like truth rather than dissecting, you
• 27:30
  know, which of these thoughts is actually true versus which of
• 27:34
  these thoughts is just narratives and fear and
• 27:38
  anxiousness that I need to dismantle and disregard and not
• 27:43
  tend to. But it can be very difficult to
• 27:46
  get to that space where you're just like, Nope, this is who I
• 27:50
  am. These are all the layers and
• 27:52
  pieces and parts that make up who I am, and I'm going to
• 27:55
  acknowledge them and accept them all.
• 27:58
  I don't have to like, love them all, but I need to accept them.
• 28:01
  I need to acknowledge them and accept them and not let fear and
• 28:05
  shame shroud that part of me because I can't carry that.
• 28:09
  It's going to be disruptive to me at some point if I continue
• 28:13
  to only live parts of my life fully out loud while trying to
• 28:18
  hide others. So talk to me about your layers
• 28:20
  journey and what it was like getting to a point where you
• 28:23
  felt safe. Because so much of it is about
• 28:25
  safety. Felt safe enough to be open and
• 28:29
  fully authentic about all the layers and parts of you.
• 28:35
  Well, I'm very blessed with two best friends that I've had, one
• 28:38
  since kindergarten and one since 7th grade.
• 28:40
  And we're all three like the three amigos.
• 28:43
  And so I talked to them about everything.
• 28:47
  And I am a processor. I have to talk things out and
• 28:51
  process them over and over before I get to a place where I
• 28:55
  can get it. And so, you know, I did, I
• 29:00
  talked to them over the years and, and I realized that they
• 29:03
  didn't think I was any different.
• 29:05
  They still saw me as the Amy they knew from school and they
• 29:09
  they knew all these years. So I didn't change.
• 29:13
  I just now have a diagnosis. So I mean, I think that helped
• 29:18
  me feel safe because I thought, you know, hopefully the people
• 29:22
  at work and the people wherever will realize that too, that I'm
• 29:25
  still me. I'm still a social worker, I'm
• 29:28
  still a mom, I'm still a friend, a daughter.
• 29:31
  I just have a new diagnosis. Yeah, yeah.
• 29:35
  And I think it's once you know those people that know you, are
• 29:37
  with you, that creates that safe space.
• 29:40
  But it also is so important to have those relationships to.
• 29:44
  And it's going to go really nicely into our next talking
• 29:47
  point of living out feel, finding empowerment, embracing
• 29:51
  layers, how that impacts the way you feel about yourself, but
• 29:55
  also the impact your relationships have on that.
• 29:59
  How you're able to engage in those relationships and how you
• 30:03
  surround yourself with people that are for you and believe in
• 30:08
  you and want as good for you as you want for you.
• 30:12
  They see your values and help you know and help you stay on
• 30:15
  course and and accept all and love all the parts of you as
• 30:20
  well. So talk to me about that journey
• 30:22
  of it if you know not only being able to really love yourself
• 30:26
  well, but that mindfulness about having those relationships
• 30:30
  around you. Well, I think I've always known
• 30:34
  that the relationships were important to me and from growing
• 30:39
  up, I cared way too much what other people thought.
• 30:41
  So that's what really changed for me is I don't care as much
• 30:44
  now. I mean, they care what they
• 30:47
  think, but but it's not going to stop me from living my life.
• 30:52
  But friendships were always and family were always very, very
• 30:56
  important to me. And they have been nuanced where
• 31:01
  I haven't told them things. And then there's been times
• 31:04
  where I've told them everything. And I always feel better when I
• 31:08
  get it all out. I feel better when I've talked
• 31:11
  and said this is what's going on with me.
• 31:15
  And they accept that, and then I have an easier time accepting it
• 31:18
  myself. Yeah, yeah, I think too, it's
• 31:21
  like that nuanced piece. That's such an important word.
• 31:24
  Life is nuanced, Relationships are nuanced.
• 31:27
  There's not just one driving factor.
• 31:30
  There's so many different pieces and parts of that.
• 31:33
  But I'm, I'm a processor too. It helps me so much to be able
• 31:38
  to just externally process and talk with someone I trust.
• 31:42
  I'm not necessarily looking for answers even.
• 31:44
  I just need to kind of move it out.
• 31:48
  And, you know, sometimes I, you know, sometimes I went through a
• 31:51
  period of time where I did instead of writing my journal, I
• 31:55
  did like voice journaling where I recorded it because I had so
• 32:00
  much going on. I just needed to it helped me
• 32:02
  more. I had a more of a, it helped my
• 32:05
  mental health more just to get it out and my emotional health,
• 32:07
  it's subtly more than writing. I don't have to do that all the
• 32:10
  time. There was a period of time.
• 32:11
  So I completely relate to that. But also having those, those
• 32:15
  friends that have been with you for years that know you inside
• 32:18
  and out, that you trust intrinsically with it.
• 32:21
  I have a few of those myself and they're such a blessing.
• 32:25
  And it's so important to remember that that we're worthy
• 32:28
  of having those. So thank you for sharing that.
• 32:30
  And I think it's, you know, I think too, it's that that
• 32:33
  ability to know and just be intuitive about.
• 32:37
  But I think we all also so many of us as women go through that,
• 32:40
  that series. And I, I think for me, it's just
• 32:43
  been time and experience and feeling, you know, safer opening
• 32:49
  up where you just what other people think just doesn't have
• 32:52
  that same impact anymore. You've got enough life and
• 32:55
  experience behind you to know, you know what, it's not worth
• 32:59
  the energy not going to, you know, change things drastically
• 33:02
  in the long haul. And I'm expending time and
• 33:04
  energy that I could be giving to other much more enjoyable,
• 33:09
  profitable, resourceful, you know, you know, in that energy,
• 33:14
  where, where did you, when did you get there?
• 33:17
  Because I I understand that transition too.
• 33:21
  Probably in my 40s to 50s because I really started reading
• 33:26
  a lot of spiritual and self help books and learning a lot about
• 33:30
  the ego and how it lies to you and how your brain lies to you.
• 33:34
  Everything you think in there is not real.
• 33:37
  Yeah. Sometimes telling you things to
• 33:39
  get you to act a certain way or well, because your body wants
• 33:43
  you to stay status quo. Yes.
• 33:47
  It wants you to never challenge anything, never make it
• 33:51
  uncomfortable. Yeah.
• 33:53
  And you don't move anywhere if you do that.
• 33:55
  You never evolve. Yeah.
• 33:57
  So, you know, just reading a ton and ton of reading and spiritual
• 34:03
  practices, just, I think that made a huge difference for me.
• 34:08
  Yeah, I'm so glad you brought up that that comfort piece.
• 34:11
  Our nervous system and I learned this in therapy a few years ago.
• 34:14
  Our nervous system will treat something a new practice.
• 34:19
  Like for instance, for me, it's like, OK, this is hyper vigilant
• 34:23
  state I'm living in is not serving me anymore.
• 34:26
  It had a time and a purpose when I was much younger, but you're
• 34:30
  not serving me anymore. So we need to, we need to excuse
• 34:33
  you, thank you for your time and move forward.
• 34:36
  So when you start moving into practices to disrupt that and
• 34:40
  change that pattern, your nervous system is very
• 34:43
  disjointed by that. And so I think sometimes we
• 34:47
  mistake that disjointedness for, oh gosh, I shouldn't do that,
• 34:52
  that my, my nervous system is really disrupted.
• 34:55
  So I, I better not do that. And we choose that comfort over
• 34:59
  no, your system's got it. You've been doing XY, you've
• 35:02
  been conducting yourself in this way for 40 years.
• 35:06
  So yes, she's a little disrupted right now because that's not how
• 35:11
  she's used to you showing up. But trust the process, stay with
• 35:14
  it. And over time, she will adjust.
• 35:17
  And comfort, you know, I had, I had really had to learn to be.
• 35:21
  I talk about this all the time, being curious rather than
• 35:24
  judgmental. But comfort and curiosity cannot
• 35:28
  run together. Comfort is the antithesis.
• 35:32
  Comfort does not want you to be curious and curiosity doesn't
• 35:35
  want you to stay comfortable. So when I, when I started
• 35:39
  choosing, yeah, well, I, I learned it and it was, it's been
• 35:43
  quite the right, you know, And so if I was going to choose my
• 35:46
  therapist, it's like choosing curiosity is going to be your
• 35:50
  friend here, but it's going to feel you're going to have some
• 35:53
  bumps as your system adjusts and you're going to have to be
• 35:56
  patient with yourself and give yourself lots of grace.
• 35:59
  And sometimes you're going to fall back into old habits and
• 36:02
  that's OK. So I think it's just, I'm so
• 36:05
  glad you brought that up like that the ego piece and those
• 36:09
  thought that we went to the earlier of just remembering that
• 36:13
  not every thought is a truth. And when and, and when you're
• 36:16
  someone that that deals with any kind of a, a mental health
• 36:22
  diagnosis, that can be a big thing that comes into play.
• 36:26
  And so that's such a yeah, it was a reality check for me.
• 36:29
  Just like, whoa, wait a minute. Not all my thoughts are truth.
• 36:33
  I never saw it with that before. And then but yeah, the curiosity
• 36:36
  versus comfort, peace. Well, and I think you have to
• 36:40
  look at that for other people too, not just inside yourself,
• 36:44
  but you have to realize the people that do judge you or have
• 36:47
  something negative to say, they're in a different place in
• 36:51
  their head and they're stuck and they're not curious.
• 36:56
  And so you used to be there. So you just have to kind of
• 37:01
  understand and let them be where they are.
• 37:03
  And when they're ready, they'll move forward.
• 37:05
  Yeah, such a good point. I absolutely.
• 37:09
  And for me, I had to release the idea of like, they may not be
• 37:12
  ready to come along with you on this ride.
• 37:14
  And it's not your responsibility to change them, your
• 37:18
  responsibility for you. And if they do or don't decide,
• 37:21
  it's up to them. And no amount of you browbeating
• 37:25
  or talking them to death is going to convince them you know
• 37:29
  otherwise. And, and, and be not being
• 37:31
  judgmental about that. Realizing I used to be in that
• 37:34
  space too. I get it.
• 37:36
  And also I've decided to move forward and that's OK too.
• 37:42
  Yeah, yeah. I think that it's hard when
• 37:45
  you've had maybe a friend for a long time and they're not moving
• 37:49
  forward with you. To let them go if you need to is
• 37:52
  very difficult, but sometimes that's what you have to do.
• 37:57
  Yeah, no, that's a great, Yeah. I mean, there are people and I,
• 37:59
  we've talked about this before too.
• 38:01
  Not all relationships are for a whole life.
• 38:05
  There are some relationships that are for a season and that
• 38:08
  doesn't mean anything anybody did anything wrong or bad, but
• 38:13
  we but that. So thank you for bringing that
• 38:16
  up because I think that's something that we need to be
• 38:17
  reminded of. I know I do at times.
• 38:19
  It's like it's OK. I've had some very close friends
• 38:23
  that I bonded with super fast and because of something we've
• 38:27
  been through, like I had bariatric surgery and had a
• 38:29
  friend who had it too at the same time.
• 38:32
  And we just connected. And for, like, the first year,
• 38:35
  we were, like, always talking and just figuring out.
• 38:39
  Are you going through this? Yeah, I'm going through this.
• 38:41
  And I couldn't have made it without her.
• 38:44
  Yeah. But I haven't talked to her in
• 38:45
  years. I, you know, I tell her happy
• 38:48
  birthday on her birthday now. But we just went in different
• 38:51
  directions. Yeah.
• 38:53
  But I will always be thankful for what she did give me during
• 38:56
  that time. And I hope she is for what I
• 38:58
  gave her, you know? Yeah, that's a great example of
• 39:01
  that. Yes.
• 39:02
  Oh, my gosh, so good. Thank you so much.
• 39:04
  All right, we are down to the rapid fire.
• 39:08
  Name 5 activities that nourish you.
• 39:13
  Reading and it's probably the same, but listening to audio
• 39:18
  books, I like to do that too. And spending time with my family
• 39:22
  and friends. There's nothing better than
• 39:25
  getting coffee with my two best friends.
• 39:29
  We even do it up. We call it the Awful Waffle, the
• 39:32
  Waffle House. I love that so much, but it's
• 39:36
  where we've gone and by gosh, we're going to keep.
• 39:40
  Going exactly we've done it since we were teenagers.
• 39:43
  Oh my godness. So let's see we said books,
• 39:46
  audio books, friends and family. What else?
• 39:50
  Music. I've always been a big lover of
• 39:53
  music. I think that if you're feeling
• 39:54
  down, nothing can change your round like a good song.
• 39:59
  It's just, it just doesn't mean. Yeah.
• 40:03
  Yeah, to that is that 5? That's 4.
• 40:07
  Yep. That's five.
• 40:08
  All right, All right, 5 words on how you want to feel the next
• 40:14
  six months. I want to feel energized by what
• 40:19
  I'm doing. I want to feel love, I want to
• 40:26
  feel purpose and I want to feel, I want to feel dedicated, like
• 40:37
  it's enough that matters enough that I'd be dedicated to it.
• 40:41
  And I want to feel like what I'm doing matters.
• 40:47
  I guess that's the same as purpose, but I want to make sure
• 40:50
  that it's it's affecting other people, that I'm helping other
• 40:53
  people. Yeah, yeah.
• 40:54
  That impact piece, Yeah, I love that.
• 40:57
  All right, Amy, tell people where they can find you.
• 41:01
  Follow you, your podcast, your newsletter, all those things.
• 41:04
  And this will also be on our resources page on our website,
• 41:08
  embracinglords.com. Don't worry people, if you're
• 41:10
  driving down the road, don't need to pull over, but we'll
• 41:13
  give you a chance to share right now as well.
• 41:16
  Great. Thanks, Melissa.
• 41:18
  You can find me, I have a newsletter called Advancing with
• 41:22
  Amy and that'll tell you about all my podcasts too.
• 41:25
  And you can find that on www.advancingamyadvancingwithamysorry.com
• 41:34
  and that's what my podcast is called, Advancing with Amy.
• 41:38
  And you can find that on any podcast network.
• 41:42
  Yeah, yeah, just got great guest on.
• 41:44
  It's really good. I had a the great opportunity of
• 41:47
  being on with her. Amy, thank you so much for this
• 41:50
  time. Thank you for how you showed up
• 41:51
  in the world. The work that you put out there
• 41:55
  and the intention behind it is so authentic.
• 41:59
  And I, I love that you have grasped this season in your life
• 42:02
  and decided to, to, to, to show up up in this way because it
• 42:06
  helps so many people that it's so important.
• 42:08
  And it's all of us doing our own part together that really moves
• 42:12
  needle and makes difference and creates more safe spaces for
• 42:15
  women to be our full, authentic, healthiest versions of
• 42:19
  ourselves. Well.
• 42:21
  Thank you, Melissa, because I feel like you did the exact same
• 42:23
  thing and I love listening to your show, so we've always got
• 42:27
  such great insight. Well, I appreciate that right
• 42:30
  back at you. This is what it looks like
• 42:32
  people, women supporting women, women showing up for each other
• 42:36
  unapologetically. So great to be able to do that
• 42:40
  today here with you, Amy and and the work that we both do.
• 42:44
  So thanks so much for being with us here today.
• 42:47
  The podcast audience, take good care of yourselves this week.
• 42:50
  Take a moment to to do something that really nourishes you.
• 42:54
  If there's a conversation you need to have about a boundary or
• 42:58
  expectation with, with a, with a loved one, it's OK to do that.
• 43:04
  But you know, being, you know, being intentional and sharing in
• 43:07
  a loving, authentic way that you just want to be your freshest,
• 43:11
  fullest self when you're with them, being present.
• 43:13
  And so hopefully listening today can give you some insights on
• 43:17
  that. But take good care of yourselves
• 43:19
  this week. Check out Amy's resources.
• 43:21
  You won't be sorry, I promise you.
• 43:23
  Thanks for being with us and have a great week.
• 43:30
  Hello, Melissa Crook here. Thank you so much for joining us
• 43:33
  on the field podcast today. Finding empowerment, Embracing
• 43:38
  Layers. I hope you found today's
• 43:40
  framework and resources supportive and informative.
• 43:44
  To learn more about all that we offer here at the Embracing
• 43:48
  Layers network, visit embracinglayers.com.
• 43:52
  You can go to our contact form to schedule me as a speaker for
• 43:56
  your next conference, workshop or seminar.
• 43:59
  You can go to our book page to order our book, The Jessica
• 44:03
  Garrison, our wonderful and talented writer and author
• 44:07
  authored with my support and engage with this framework in
• 44:11
  written form, with your journal or in a book club with other
• 44:15
  women inviting them on this journey with you.
• 44:18
  You can look at our resources page for all of the helpful and
• 44:22
  insightful resources our guests offer and share.
• 44:25
  You can find the schedule for our weekly Together We Feel
• 44:29
  Women's panel conversations that we're holding each Monday on our
• 44:33
  YouTube channel and you can find the links to all the spaces and
• 44:37
  places. You can then follow engage with
• 44:39
  us on social media and join our engagements that are happening
• 44:44
  on our sub SAT site. There is also a donation page
• 44:48
  where you can donate to support our work to ensure we can
• 44:52
  continue to bring you these incredible guest conversations
• 44:56
  and support. Thanks again for joining me this
• 44:59
  week. Share with your friends and give
• 45:02
  us a review on your favorite listening platform.
• 45:05
  Your feedback helps us ensure we're bringing you the content
• 45:09
  that will best support you and having an empowered Embracing
• 45:13
  Layers journey. Take good care and thanks for
• 45:16
  giving us some of your valuable time today.
• 45:19
  We truly appreciate you so deeply.