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A Midlife Fitness Expert on Rebuilding Strength Without Starting Over · The Uplifters

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  [music]
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  SPEAKER_01: Hey, Uplifters, you know how much I love experimenting and trying new things.
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• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: It's jointhetryb.com, T-R-Y-B.com.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to The Uplifters Podcast.
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  SPEAKER_01: I'm Miranda Savas and every week I get the great joy of chatting with
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  SPEAKER_01: an inspiring midlife woman who's doing big,
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  SPEAKER_01: brave things in the world to learn all about how she's doing it,
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  SPEAKER_01: how she's managing the inevitable challenges that come with being
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  SPEAKER_01: a midlife woman doing a big, brave things and then share them with you.
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  SPEAKER_01: And hopefully we get to chat about them together over on Substack because as with
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  SPEAKER_01: so much in life, it's so much easier together.
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  SPEAKER_01: And if we are lucky, we make it to midlife and we get to face all of these challenges.
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  SPEAKER_01: And with that privilege comes an opportunity to learn from all the women
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  SPEAKER_01: who have been there before and who are on the road with us.
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  SPEAKER_01: Today, we're going to talk to Heike Yates.
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  SPEAKER_01: She's a midlife fitness expert.
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  SPEAKER_01: She's an author.
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  SPEAKER_01: She is the creator of the SPARK framework, which you're going to hear a lot about today.
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  SPEAKER_01: And at the core of her work is this question of how we rebuild strength,
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  SPEAKER_01: energy, and confidence without guilt.
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  SPEAKER_01: Gentle, patient-loving practices to support ourselves holistically.
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  SPEAKER_01: I got her 35 years of experience in fitness, nutrition, and mindset.
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  SPEAKER_01: And we're going to talk about how she has broken the try and quit cycle that so many
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  SPEAKER_01: of us know too well,
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  SPEAKER_01: how she keeps going when things get hard,
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  SPEAKER_01: and then how we can all build our own sustainable practices.
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  SPEAKER_01: So stay with us for a conversation about why midlife might actually be
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  SPEAKER_01: the perfect time to rebuild ourselves,
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  SPEAKER_01: not from scratch, but from right where we are right now.
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  SPEAKER_00: Heike, thank you so much for being here.
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  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
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  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
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  SPEAKER_00: And there's a lot to figure out.
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  SPEAKER_00: And we sometimes get so overwhelmed with, and we've read so much.
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  SPEAKER_00: And when we look on the interwebs, we get so much information and we still know so little.
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  SPEAKER_01: So how has your approach evolved over the last 35 years?
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  SPEAKER_00: When I started out,
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  SPEAKER_00: initially, I would not exercise or worry about nutrition or worry about mindset.
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  SPEAKER_00: I was just, my mission was to have freedom and to travel the world.
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  SPEAKER_00: That was my mission.
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  SPEAKER_00: And that followed me through almost now 65 years this year.
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  SPEAKER_00: And this is what I want from life.
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  SPEAKER_00: I want freedom and I want the space to travel in it.
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  SPEAKER_00: And the travel has led to different parts,
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  SPEAKER_00: whether it was fitness or nutrition or my own journey in my fitness adventures.
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  SPEAKER_00: As I progressed throughout the years, it just kept changing.
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  SPEAKER_00: And I feel that embracing what's next,
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  SPEAKER_00: whatever that next thing is, is the best thing anybody can do.
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  SPEAKER_00: Give me an example of that.
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  SPEAKER_00: I am.
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  SPEAKER_00: Have embraced my saxophone.
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  SPEAKER_00: I got a saxophone about two years ago.
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  SPEAKER_00: Had you ever played a saxophone?
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  SPEAKER_00: I cannot read music.
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  SPEAKER_00: I don't know how to play an instrument.
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  SPEAKER_00: What?
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  SPEAKER_00: Nothing, nothing.
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  SPEAKER_00: My husband, throughout conversations, he's under the Christmas tree.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's this thing.
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  SPEAKER_00: And I'm thinking, oh, it's not a tri bike.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's not something related to triathlons or running or any of those.
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  SPEAKER_00: It had this weird shape.
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  SPEAKER_00: So I opened it and there was a saxophone in it.
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  SPEAKER_00: I'm going, okay.
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  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
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  SPEAKER_00: What am I going to do with that?
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  SPEAKER_00: And he says,
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  SPEAKER_00: you said that years and years and years ago that you walked through
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  SPEAKER_00: the English Garden in Munich and there was this guy playing the saxophone
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  SPEAKER_00: under this big tree.
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  SPEAKER_00: You just loved how it sounded.
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  SPEAKER_00: And that moment you said, if I ever learn an instrument, it would be the saxophone.
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  SPEAKER_00: So he bought me an alto saxophone.
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  SPEAKER_00: The first year,
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  SPEAKER_00: I touched it once and I dabbled a little with YouTube videos and how to find
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  SPEAKER_00: the keys and where to put your fingers.
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  SPEAKER_00: And then this year, so far, I've played it five times.
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  SPEAKER_00: And my goal is to play Pink Panther sometime, whenever that sometime is.
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  SPEAKER_00: And wouldn't you know,
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  SPEAKER_00: these videos where they show you exactly where to put the fingers
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  SPEAKER_00: and you just follow those little things on screen, those little dots.
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  SPEAKER_00: You don't need to read music.
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  SPEAKER_00: You don't need anything.
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  SPEAKER_00: You just need to follow instructions,
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  SPEAKER_00: which is quite darn hard because the fingers are in totally different places on
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  SPEAKER_00: a saxophone.
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  SPEAKER_00: And I do get sounds out and sometimes it sounds a little bit like Pink Panther, but yeah.
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  SPEAKER_00: So this is my new thing.
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  SPEAKER_00: I have added this to my repertoire without pressure,
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  SPEAKER_00: without the expectation that the song will sound great.
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  SPEAKER_00: I have no expectation when that will be, but I have the pleasure.
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  SPEAKER_00: And that's all my teaching is the unpacking of the instrument.
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  SPEAKER_00: I take it out, I shine a little bit, make sure it's dry.
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  SPEAKER_00: And then I put the pieces together.
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  SPEAKER_00: And then I get the wreath in and then I really study where my fingers go.
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  SPEAKER_00: And then I'm like, look, I feel really professional with my saxophone.
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  SPEAKER_00: And then off we go.
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  SPEAKER_01: Start on the YouTube video.
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  SPEAKER_01: I love this on so many levels.
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  SPEAKER_01: First of all,
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  SPEAKER_01: I think probably I,
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  SPEAKER_01: like everyone else,
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  SPEAKER_01: I'm kind of swirling now in the thought of what haven't I done
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  SPEAKER_01: that I always thought would be kind of fun that I could take
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  SPEAKER_01: a really low risk learning journey with, right?
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  SPEAKER_01: Like the world is not gonna hinge on you being an expert sax player.
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  SPEAKER_01: But it's just a matter of play.
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  SPEAKER_01: From a motivation behavior change standpoint, that's a really powerful mindset.
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  SPEAKER_01: Because to give ourselves a process goal...
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  SPEAKER_01: It's far more meaningful and motivating than to give ourselves an outcome-based goal.
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  SPEAKER_01: And I hear how consciously you are doing that and saying,
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  SPEAKER_01: it's not about me playing it by a certain time.
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  SPEAKER_01: It's about me practicing and I'm giving myself practice goals
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  SPEAKER_01: and I'm giving myself tiny step interim goals.
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  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to learn how to clean it.
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  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to learn how to put it around my neck.
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  SPEAKER_01: Right?
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  SPEAKER_01: And it makes the journey so much more meaningful.
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  SPEAKER_01: So how do you then...
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  SPEAKER_01: Because I imagine every time I wander off into new territory outside of my lane,
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  SPEAKER_01: I'm instantly flooded with insights about what's happening over in my lane.
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  SPEAKER_01: So what are you learning from SACS that is informing how you're thinking about midlife fitness?
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  SPEAKER_00: It is basically a parallel lane.
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  SPEAKER_00: Back in the days when I started out running,
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  SPEAKER_00: it was all about banging out the miles,
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  SPEAKER_00: getting the job done,
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  SPEAKER_00: getting to the finish line,
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  SPEAKER_00: getting to the race start to start with,
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  SPEAKER_00: have a specific pace goal,
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  SPEAKER_00: reaching that goal,
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  SPEAKER_00: really working hard to do anything possible to get to that racing time that I wanted
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  SPEAKER_00: and which I Right back then, my goal was to qualify for the Boston Marathon.
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  SPEAKER_00: And I did this in my first marathon, which is not often heard.
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  SPEAKER_01: No, I think it took me 20 marathons to qualify for Boston.
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  SPEAKER_00: But my mindset was so determined, so focused, so goal-oriented.
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  SPEAKER_00: And you said this a minute ago, that it doesn't matter.
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  SPEAKER_00: Pain, no matter what's going on, everything took a backseat.
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  SPEAKER_00: This is what I wanted to do.
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  SPEAKER_00: Now it's like, okay, we're getting there.
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  SPEAKER_00: We can't push our bodies beyond what they can do.
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  SPEAKER_00: We can't expect our bodies to perform better.
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  SPEAKER_00: In ways that my friend's body is performing.
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  SPEAKER_00: So we need to take into account what can our bodies do at any given stage and age.
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  SPEAKER_00: And the same goes along with when you think motivation.
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  SPEAKER_00: Our motivation is not the same every day.
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  SPEAKER_00: Back then, I didn't care about motivation.
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  SPEAKER_00: It was like, get the job done.
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  SPEAKER_00: Doesn't matter.
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  SPEAKER_00: Rain, shine, hail, you're going.
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  SPEAKER_00: Doesn't matter.
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  SPEAKER_00: Now it's like, be a little smarter.
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  SPEAKER_00: Be kinder to your body.
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  SPEAKER_00: Listen to your body.
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  SPEAKER_00: Fine tune it and listen to what the steps along the way are that your body,
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  SPEAKER_00: if we're really listening, is showing us what's next.
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  SPEAKER_01: Where can I go?
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  SPEAKER_01: It's being in partnership between your brain and your body,
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  SPEAKER_01: as opposed to one being the taskmaster and the other being in this sort of On
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  SPEAKER_00: the other end of that stick.
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  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
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  SPEAKER_00: And it's such a better feeling too is the pressure is gone.
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  SPEAKER_00: There is no fear of performance.
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  SPEAKER_00: There is no guilt of not reaching that goal.
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  SPEAKER_00: It simply is.
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  SPEAKER_00: And let's move forward.
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  SPEAKER_00: But let's move forward.
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  SPEAKER_01: Let's move the needle in a good way.
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  SPEAKER_01: So let's talk about moving the needle because I think that is part of the tension of midlife.
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  SPEAKER_01: There are expectations we had of ourselves in every domain in younger years,
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  SPEAKER_01: whether it's our weight,
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  SPEAKER_01: our size,
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  SPEAKER_01: our earnings,
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  SPEAKER_01: our titles,
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  SPEAKER_01: our relationships,
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  SPEAKER_01: our right All of these things,
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  SPEAKER_01: we had a set of expectations in our 20s, 30s, maybe 40s even.
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  SPEAKER_01: And then sort of somewhere in midlife,
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  SPEAKER_01: we start to say like, wow, maybe I'm not hitting those goals anymore.
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  SPEAKER_01: And are those even right for me right now?
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  SPEAKER_01: Do they still align with the values that I cherish?
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  SPEAKER_01: Are they aligned with, as you said, what's next, where I'm going?
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  SPEAKER_01: And oftentimes I think we find that no, no, they're not.
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  SPEAKER_01: That what we wanted then is not what we want for next.
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  SPEAKER_01: And yet it is so freaking hard.
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  SPEAKER_01: To fully release what no longer serves us and fully embrace what it is that is
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  SPEAKER_01: a better fit for what's in action.
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  SPEAKER_01: So I'm really curious how you help people move on,
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  SPEAKER_01: especially when it comes to our bodies that are so freaking fraught with shame
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  SPEAKER_01: and values and perception and self-worth.
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  SPEAKER_00: I wish I could take a big sponge and erase that board completely.
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  SPEAKER_00: Of preconceived notions that we have ourselves, that somebody gave to us down the road.
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  SPEAKER_00: That the way we're supposed to feel,
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  SPEAKER_00: the way we're supposed to feel about our bodies,
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  SPEAKER_00: that the whole conversation is about belly fat.
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  SPEAKER_00: And I'm to blame too at one point,
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  SPEAKER_00: somewhere down the road before,
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  SPEAKER_00: I talked about this too until it's like,
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  SPEAKER_00: this is not what the conversation needs to be about.
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  SPEAKER_00: Let's stop body shaming ourselves,
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  SPEAKER_00: feeling bad about our bodies because we have bigger boobs and a saggier butt
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  SPEAKER_00: or whatever we have.
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  SPEAKER_00: It does not matter.
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  SPEAKER_00: It matters how strong We are throughout.
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  SPEAKER_00: And these preconceived notions, again,
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  SPEAKER_00: handed maybe down from our moms,
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  SPEAKER_00: handed down from the beauty industry,
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  SPEAKER_00: definitely with all the ideals that are swarming around us.
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  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, handed to our moms from the beauty industry.
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  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
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  SPEAKER_00: When you're thinking, you know, like Marilyn Monroe was a big sex symbol.
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  SPEAKER_00: She was juicy hips, boobs and all.
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  SPEAKER_00: This woman was gorgeous.
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  SPEAKER_00: Well, then came Twiggy.
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  SPEAKER_00: And now we're all supposed to be as skinny as Twiggy.
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  SPEAKER_00: And everybody wanted the thigh gap.
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  SPEAKER_00: Oh my God.
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  SPEAKER_00: Let's erase all this.
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  SPEAKER_00: We don't need all of this.
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  SPEAKER_00: But what I think we need to do,
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  SPEAKER_00: and that speaks true for me, and maybe your listeners can relate to this.
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  SPEAKER_00: Every 10 years.
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  SPEAKER_00: I go through this mind change literally every 10 years.
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  SPEAKER_00: In my 20s, I decided what's next in my 30s, my 40s.
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  SPEAKER_00: And every 10 years,
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  SPEAKER_00: I didn't leave behind what I learned and what has happened to me,
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  SPEAKER_00: but it was the building block of what was next.
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  SPEAKER_00: Let's don't discard it.
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  SPEAKER_00: Keep what we learned.
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  SPEAKER_00: Toss the things that were not useful and see where do we go from here to In what I want now.
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  SPEAKER_00: Imagine you're going through menopause.
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  SPEAKER_00: You'll be in a totally different frame of mind than when you're an empty nester,
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  SPEAKER_00: which could be a different year.
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  SPEAKER_00: Or you are a woman in career.
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  SPEAKER_00: You said, maybe I want to retire now at my 60s.
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  SPEAKER_00: I've worked enough.
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  SPEAKER_00: There's these 10 mile markers.
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  SPEAKER_00: I don't know why that is.
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  SPEAKER_00: But I was like, when I was 30, I knew exactly my next steps.
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  SPEAKER_00: I wanted out of where I was and I wanted to go new.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's a little more difficult in my 40s and 50s.
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  SPEAKER_00: But I knew that deep down...
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  SPEAKER_00: What drove me to come to the U.S.,
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  SPEAKER_00: leave my motherland,
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  SPEAKER_00: so to speak,
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  SPEAKER_00: behind, was the sense of freedom and the sense of travel and independence.
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  SPEAKER_00: And that through line has never changed.
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  SPEAKER_00: And when people look maybe back on their through line, there is a through line somewhere, right?
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  SPEAKER_00: You can follow that through your years, maybe every five years or every 20 years.
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  SPEAKER_00: I don't know how people, but 10 years makes sense to me.
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  SPEAKER_00: There's around birthday.
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  SPEAKER_00: There's something, okay, let's see what happens.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I love that.
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  SPEAKER_01: I think that's such a nice way of thinking about it,
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  SPEAKER_01: that each of these decades we get a moment to reset our expectations and
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  SPEAKER_01: that we begin to make a practice of doing that every decade.
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  SPEAKER_01: I turned 50 last March.
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  SPEAKER_01: So it has been a really transformative year in every domain.
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  SPEAKER_01: And I think it comes with so much opportunity and so much release.
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  SPEAKER_01: And the release is hard.
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  SPEAKER_01: I was actually thinking about the Boston Marathon this morning on my run.
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  SPEAKER_01: And I thought, like, I'm so strong.
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  SPEAKER_01: Never before in my life could I squat my own body weight for sure.
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  SPEAKER_01: I could run so much faster though.
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  SPEAKER_01: And it is a constant tension in my mind.
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  SPEAKER_01: That relationship with old data and results and fully letting it go,
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  SPEAKER_01: I find incredibly difficult.
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  SPEAKER_01: And maybe that just is what it is.
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  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's okay for it to be challenging.
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  SPEAKER_00: I think there's one thing comes to mind where that is a face of mourning.
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  SPEAKER_00: Three years ago, I had to stop running.
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  SPEAKER_00: I have a really bad arthritic knee,
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  SPEAKER_00: which I've been pounding on until it just wouldn't go anymore.
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  SPEAKER_00: And I tried all kinds of,
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  SPEAKER_00: I did Pilates and strength and stretching and therapy and whatnot,
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: whatnot for my knee.
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  SPEAKER_00: And nothing really worked until I had to say, I have to stop running.
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  SPEAKER_00: My love, who am I without it?
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  SPEAKER_00: I'm a nobody.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's crazy to think that way.
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  SPEAKER_00: But I had such a strong identity with running, with my community of runners.
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  SPEAKER_00: What do I do every Saturday morning?
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  SPEAKER_00: I don't get up at five anymore.
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  SPEAKER_00: What am I going to do?
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  SPEAKER_00: Oh, they're going to talk about all these things that I have no preview to.
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  SPEAKER_00: And I'm going to turn into a big blob and I'm going to get old because now I can't run anymore.
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  SPEAKER_00: It was a year of grieving my identity.
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  SPEAKER_00: Mm-hmm.
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  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's why it is so hard to let go of what we identify with or has been.
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  SPEAKER_00: It is safe.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's supportive.
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  SPEAKER_00: We know the outcome.
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  SPEAKER_00: We are comfortable and familiar with it.
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  SPEAKER_00: There's no surprises.
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  SPEAKER_01: That's a really interesting point.
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  SPEAKER_01: Research shows that we have our highest degree of identity certainty in our 60s.
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  SPEAKER_01: For the most people, it ranges sort of 55 to 65.
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  SPEAKER_01: And what that means essentially is this very strong, clear vision of ourselves.
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  SPEAKER_01: And so that is why we hear so many women in midlife saying,
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  SPEAKER_01: I've got no f***s left to give and I'm just going to be me.
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  SPEAKER_01: And it is also why it is difficult to release old versions of ourselves.
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  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I agree.
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  SPEAKER_01: And to say that that chapter now, that progression will not be steady, right?
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  SPEAKER_01: Like I'm going to have a new relationship to running.
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  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you become a fan.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you become a coach of other runners, right?
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_01: Like maybe you just become...
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_01: A former runner, right?
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_01: Like there's such, right?
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_01: And those are all identities.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: That's exactly right.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: You just come,
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: but I want people to let go of that notion that you mourn,
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: mourn as long as you need to and as hard as you need to.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: But then that moment of letting go,
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: stop saying, back in the days I was a runner, you know, I ran Boston.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my God, I ran the JFK 50 miles back then.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: Great.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_00: But the sound and the tone I'm mimicking or imitating is exactly what I hear.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's that, ah.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, no, it was a great time.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: Embrace that moment that you had.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: You went across the finish line or whatever it is, you baked the best recipe of the planet.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: But then look at what you're achieving now, where you are now.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's really landing for me.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_01: It's this idea that if you hear yourself telling stories about your past more
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_01: than your future or more than your present,
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_01: if you find your energy and your journaling and your thinking
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_01: and your midnight ramblings and your dreams all associating more with your past
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_01: than your future or your present,
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_01: you, my friend, might be stuck in the grief process.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: But it's so hard to admit this to yourself.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: Again, it feels safe.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_01: And who knows what's on the other side?
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_01: You don't know until you try.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_01: I think so much of life is about learning to tolerate being a beginner.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I hear that in your saxophone story.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I just love what it means for all of us.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_01: Like we don't have to be great.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_01: At everything, we don't get to be great at anything we're new at.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_01: Though somebody said in a recent episode,
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_01: very wisely,
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_01: she said,
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_01: no one in midlife is ever actually a beginner because they're bringing
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_01: so much wisdom and experience to everything they've done.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_01: Like for you,
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_01: you've never played the saxophone,
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_01: but you've learned a lot of things
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_01: and that's informing how you're approaching saxophone.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yep, absolutely.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: Isn't that cool?
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_01: So let's talk about the SPARK framework.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_01: Tell us what it means,
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_01: what it stands for, and why it's important for women in midlife specifically.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: So many of us get stuck.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_00: Our mindsets, our behaviors, we are just stuck in this in-between time.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I call this the gap.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_00: So you're between the here I was and the wanting what I now might want.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: And so you're in that gap and you're stuck in the longer you get stuck in the gap
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: of wishful thinking almost, the more you fall into a trap.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: And the trap is a much bigger gap.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_00: It keeps you safe, like the little story we just talked about.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_00: I could stay in my trap of mourning my running, but I want to move out of that trap.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: And there's so many things we tell ourselves that hold us back to not escape the trap.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I see it so often with the women I work with.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_00: This behavior from, oh,
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_00: there's a little bit of a,
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: not a problem exactly, but it's kind of, I'm not happy there.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_00: Why are you not happy there?
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_00: I don't really know.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_00: And then you dig deeper and then it becomes the trap of not being a perfectionist
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_00: or being perfectionistic enough.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_00: Let's use that as an example.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: But then why does it serve us?
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't serve us at all.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_00: But so now you're in the trap.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_00: So, but what is the next step to get out of the trap?
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_00: And this is where the SPARK framework comes in.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: And let's use running because we just talked about marathon running.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_00: So you decided that I'm just tired of walking.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_00: Walking is great.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_00: Please do not misunderstand this.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_00: Walking is a great exercise that I'm doing a lot right now.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: But you're like, I want more.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_00: I see all these other people and I'm inspired.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: And you dig yourself deeper in not running because you have maybe,
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_00: you have no shoes, you have no support.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: You're just telling yourself there's never a way out of this, that you will always be a walker.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: And again, there's nothing wrong with this.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_00: But what if you said, I'm using hike-a-spark method.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_00: I'm using the S and I'm scanning.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: What do I really want to do?
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_00: Do I want to run a marathon?
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_00: Do I want to run a 5K?
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: Do I want to run around the block?
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_00: Do I want to do a run walk?
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_00: What do I really want?
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_00: What does it all mean to me?
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_00: Without setting a goal in general, just the idea of can I run four, five, six hours?
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_00: Do I want to do this?
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_00: My husband says, when he first started running, he says, my God, is this boring.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: But so you have to choose.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_00: You say, you know what?
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_00: I just want to walk or I want to run the Breast Cancer Awareness 3K or 3 miler.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: I think the 5K 3 miler.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: That's something to think for.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: So you scan the areas.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_00: You said, okay, this is what I want to do.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_00: Sounds good to me.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_00: The next place is the action step.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_00: So what's the next action?
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_00: You figure out where's there a race around you.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_00: That you may want to sign up for just to give you an extra little boost.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so you found a race and it's like, oh, daunting.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_00: I don't really know how to run.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_00: I don't really know what to do.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so then you do your, the next, you look into running groups.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_00: You found your running group.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_00: You found your race.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_00: Now you take action.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_00: So this is your, let's see, where are we?
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_00: S, A, the action part.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_00: Now we're going to the P. So you put all this together.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_00: And you take action and check it out.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_00: You may hate the running group.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: You may love it.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_00: You may decide that after the little bit of training, this is much more that I want to do more.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: I want to do bigger races.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_00: So you remold of what the original idea was.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_00: And as you keep going, there is the roadblock.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_00: You're going, oh man, I got the wrong running shoes.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_00: I cannot do this.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe I shouldn't do this because I got the wrong running shoes.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_00: They don't have running shoes for my feet.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_00: But let's wait a minute.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_00: Let's go find some new running shoes.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_00: Find those new running shoes, put everything back into action.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: And then you keep momentum.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_00: So you go through the process actually twice.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_00: You evaluate, you take action, you evaluate, you have a roadblock, which most of us have.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe, you know, whatever happens, you got a blister on the first run.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_00: Who knows?
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_00: But then you take action.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I like to call this kick ass.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_00: My editor said I should call it keeping momentum.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_03: So here's the cleaned up version, keeping momentum.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_00: Then you really go for it.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_00: And that applies to everything you do,
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_00: whether it's knitting, making cupcakes, writing a book, finding a new career.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_00: That these steps in my mind really give you a framework to go and say, you know what?
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_00: I took action, but I don't know.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_00: Let's go back to the scanning part.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_00: I think I was just enamored by my neighbor being a runner.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_00: This is really not where my heart is at.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_00: And it allows you to move back and forward.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_00: Take the whole Spark framework,
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_00: do whatever it is you do, but then maybe go back and reevaluate your goals.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_00: Make the action bigger.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_00: Address another roadblock.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_01: Such a smart approach to it because I'm not sure if you're familiar with
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_01: the Porchaska model of change,
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_01: but what they talk about in that model is that In the process of moving
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_01: toward action, we are in a consideration space, oftentimes for years.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_01: We are weighing out different scenarios.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_01: We are scanning, as you said, looking at different...
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_01: Different examples of what might be possible and available to us.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_01: We are thinking about our preparation.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_01: Like what would it take for me to do this?
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_01: And gathering so much data.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_01: And often the cycle repeats before we even get to the kick-ass part,
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_01: which I think is what I hear in there, right?
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_01: Like I'm gonna scan,
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna prepare,
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna act,
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna go back and scan, I'm gonna scan and prepare, I'm gonna act, I'm gonna...
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_01: Go to the next one, right?
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_01: And so it is, I think, so important that we normalize that change is active.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_01: It isn't quite as we expected.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_00: And it's no do-over.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_00: I want to be clear about that.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's not a do-over or I start again.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: It is simply rewriting your story and your curiosity.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I love that.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and I think it's starting with new data, right?
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_01: So I think frameworks like these are so amazing in terms
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_01: of helping us stay connected to a goal and sustain our motivation despite
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_01: the inevitable challenges that come with it.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_01: So for you, you talk a lot about how our minds get in our way.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_01: We have a tendency to dim our lives at midlife, as you say.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_01: When did you realize you might be dimming yours and what changed for you?
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_00: There's a couple of times,
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to go back that far,
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_00: but I think the most recent is my divorce that's happened with 15,
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_00: 17, 20 years ago, something like this.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_00: But this is where I felt like I was dimming my light.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_00: When I had married this guy that was amazing, we had two amazing children and I felt trapped.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_00: I felt trapped in the role of a mother who A role of a caregiver to my children,
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_00: a wife to,
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_00: not that I wanted more men or different men, but it's just being in this role play.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_00: You cook dinner, I bring home the bacon.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_00: That's the 1950s kind of situation.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_00: And to me, that was so claustrophobic is probably the best word.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_00: I couldn't breathe.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_00: I couldn't move.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_00: I couldn't think.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_00: He knew what I was doing all the time.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_00: He wanted to know where we are and what we're doing.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I had nothing that really was just for me outside of this
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_00: where I could feel growth, where I could explore.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_00: And that was really one of those big moments where I said, I need a divorce.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_00: I can't live like this.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_00: And there was a phase of contemplation from Aransas.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_00: But Heike's style is she blurts out things.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_00: Heike sometimes does not contemplate.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_00: Is this a German thing?
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it is.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_00: I blurred out things sometimes where people go, what was that?
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, oh, I don't know.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_00: It just came out.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't prepare.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't think about it.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't contemplate it.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_00: I knew I was unhappy.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_00: But I couldn't put words to it until that moment when the kids and I were going
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_00: to visit my family in Germany and I had not invited my then husband.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I went to his office and I said, here, I'm going to Germany, blah, blah, blah.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_00: Will you take us to the airport?
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_00: And he said, why didn't you invite me?
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_00: I stood there and I came out just like that.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not happy.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_00: I want a divorce.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_00: He had no idea what I was thinking.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_00: He had no idea.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_00: Everything was super happy for him.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, what did I just say?
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, my God.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_00: It was the truth.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_00: I did not feel bad.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_00: I did not feel guilty.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_00: I had none of those emotions that you might expect somebody feeling.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, oh, my God, that's my way out.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't recommend it, but that's
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_01: just who I am.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, to me,
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_00: I would put
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_01: that in the category,
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_01: whether it was intentional or accidental, of courageous communication.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I think for so many women, it's honestly one of the biggest limiting factors in our lives.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_01: Is our concern for other people's well-being that gets in the way of us honoring
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_01: and taking care of ourselves.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_01: And so there is certainly an alternative path there where you swallowed that
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_01: and you said to your husband some other version of the truth and kept covering
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_01: that up until he really felt it.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_01: And he knew, right?
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_01: Because that's what happens when we keep covering up the truth.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_01: Everyone knows, they feel it, but we all become so afraid to acknowledge it.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_01: And so actually, I don't know.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_01: I kind of want more of that Heika truthy truth bravery in my life, certainly in the second half.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_00: And it still happens.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know why these things just come out.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_00: My clients come to me and they say,
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_00: work with me and say, you're better than any therapist that I know.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, yeah,
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_00: because I'm just saying it as it's in my head right now comes to mind,
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_00: knowing who you are and what you're doing and what you've told me about.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_00: But that's how I see everything else too.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I dislike these.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, honey.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_00: How are you?
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm fine.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_00: You know you're not fine.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_00: Why do we not talk about it?
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_00: Why are we afraid of the consequences?
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_00: And that goes, we're asking for a job raise.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_00: It goes a lot of times anywhere in our lives for women,
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_00: we are holding back for no reason whatsoever.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_01: And when you...
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_01: Support people in stepping into their light and claiming their truth.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_01: What have you found helps them embrace that level of honesty and brave communication?
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_01: I would say being around me, but... Yeah, I think that's probably a real factor, right?
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_01: The research is certainly there that we are the sum total of the people we spend
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_01: the most time with.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_01: So you want to be a more courageous communicator?
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_01: Hang out with courageous communicators.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's an excellent answer.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I also think as most people come to me,
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_00: whether it's virtually in my courses,
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_00: the blueprint or in person, I start with breathing, a lot of breathing and movement.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel that once people let go of whatever they think they're so supposed
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_00: to be doing and really get into the habit of, I just move.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_00: And Heike says, breathe in, breathe out.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_00: And do this and do this.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_00: And as I breathe and as I move and as I align my body,
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_00: things become clearer and more obvious and people have become more honest.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I can't tell you how many sessions I had.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_00: And that's Pilates.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's a workout.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's not just, I want to say just, it's not yoga where you look at a meditative practice.
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_00: People start crying.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_00: People start telling me about all kinds of things in the middle of their session.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_00: And it just comes out.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_00: And it's the breath and the movement that supports,
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_00: in my mind,
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_00: that this letting go, this really figuring out where I am, what I want to do.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_00: And it's also the story is the person who helped me
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_00: or actually instigated writing my book, Pursue Your Spark is 80 years old.
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_00: She's also mentioned in the book.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_00: She's been a longtime client.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_00: She's a caregiver of her husband.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_00: He's not very well.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_00: So she found somebody to take care of him and she visited her daughter in
• 34:43
  SPEAKER_00: an unnamed town and she She's 80.
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_00: She comes back.
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_00: She opens the door to the studio and she says, I guess what?
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, tell me.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_00: It was an amazing weekend.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_00: We did this and that and the other.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_00: I felt so free.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_00: I felt so unburdened.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_00: I felt like myself again.
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_00: Not like my younger self, which is what I always associated with.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_00: When people say,
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_00: I want to feel like myself again, it's like, oh, I want to be like my 20-year-old.
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_00: My 25, my 30-year-old.
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_00: It was like being myself.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, you just gave me my book.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_01: I hear that so often too.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it's a really interesting journey, isn't it?
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_01: For people to like,
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_01: I think what you're saying about not my 20-year-old self,
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_01: my 30-year-old self, but myself.
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_01: Because I think for many of us, we don't even know who that is.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's like,
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_01: if you don't have a paradigm or an archetype for yourself,
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_01: then like,
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_00: how do you find that?
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_00: For her,
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_00: with the trip to the daughter,
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_00: she was felt untethered,
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_00: free of responsibilities, doing things that she wanted to do in the moment.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_00: Not watching the words that she was saying to her daughter
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_00: because nobody was listening and chiming in or correcting her and feeling free.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, come on, 80 years old.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_00: When people say, Heike, you wrote the book for midlife.
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, yeah, midlife goes from 40 to 80 in my point of view.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_01: I love that story.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_01: I also love that the daughter created such a sweet space for her mother.
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_01: Very important.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_01: It is such a joy to meet you and to talk to you.
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_01: Congrats on the birth of your book, baby.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_01: Such a big deal.
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_01: What are your dreams for her?
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_00: I want to go and take her overseas.
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_00: Ooh.
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_00: I want to take her not just in the U.S.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_00: because everybody in Europe speaks English or for the most part and travel with her.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_00: How wonderful.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I have a very big travel destination in mind, a specific.
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_01: Do you want to say it?
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_01: Which is Portugal.
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_01: Portugal.
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_00: So we're hoping to buy an apartment in Portugal and live there part of the time
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_00: and see what's happening with her.
• 37:27
  SPEAKER_00: Where's she going?
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, speaking to more women.
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel also that Europeans are very different in the sense of embracing this openness.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like you said, I'm German.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yay.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's such a beautiful thing to write a book.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_01: What was your goal in writing it?
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to have,
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_00: I did not know,
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_00: the goal was, actually ended up being that I worked through a lot of things myself.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_00: All the stories that I'd written were stories that are private,
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_00: that need to go to a trusted source.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_00: And some short stories I was not comfortable to put in the book,
• 38:11
  SPEAKER_00: but a lot of them are in the book.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_00: It was almost like therapy.
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_00: Hmm.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_00: The goal then became not a fitness book, not a nutrition book.
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted women to see that there is a different way.
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_00: That it's not all cut and dry.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_00: That you have choices.
• 38:31
  SPEAKER_00: You have a lot of choices.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_00: Not getting overwhelmed by choices, but there is the in-between.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_00: And we are often in the in-between.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 38:41
  SPEAKER_00: Always.
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 38:43
  SPEAKER_00: Feels like it, right?
• 38:44
  SPEAKER_00: We're probably always in the in-between of something, some domain in our lives, right?
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_00: We're always in transition.
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, and that's such a beautiful thing.
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's one of our running slogans was back in the days on the back of the t-shirts,
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_00: there's like run hard, run fast or whatever it says.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_00: One of our slogans was all you need is already within you.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_00: And that is so true for all of us.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need anything super duper new, different, whatever it is, but look what you got.
• 39:20
  SPEAKER_00: Run with that.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_01: What do you have right now?
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_01: I write it in my book as what is this moment perfect for?
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that speaks so much to how you've expressed this.
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_01: So every guest on The Uplifters nominates a woman who inspires her,
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_01: who she believes will inspire us.
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_01: Who do you nominate for The Uplifters?
• 39:42
  SPEAKER_00: I have to say a fellow saxophonist.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_00: How cool.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_00: Her name is Kat Coluccio.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not sure if I ever pronounced her name correctly.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_00: She's from New Zealand.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_00: She's also a podcast host, a woman in midlife, a business coach.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_00: And she plays, actually, she really plays the saxophone.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_00: She's learning.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_00: She plays sometimes, I think, in a band.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_00: And we've been connected over a long period of time because she is so positive, so supportive.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_00: She's also written several books.
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I just recently reconnected with her.
• 40:18
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, she's the kind of person who is like an open book.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_00: She's read me.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_00: I trust you.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_00: We are friends.
• 40:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I had reached out because I said, maybe I can be on your podcast again.
• 40:34
  SPEAKER_00: And then she gave me whatever else is going on.
• 40:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, don't
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_01: even worry
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_00: about it.
• 40:39
  SPEAKER_00: Your life has been all kinds of things that you need to take care.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_00: But the feeling, did you ever laugh together when we're talking?
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I was on a seminar with her.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_00: She's just wonderful, wonderful.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, she sounds amazing.
• 40:55
  SPEAKER_01: And we all need those people in our lives, don't we?
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_01: Who lift us up,
• 40:59
  SPEAKER_01: who help us see beyond maybe the vista that we can perceive and also are willing
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_01: to be really honest and real with us.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_01: So as Uplifters, we love to uplift other Uplifters.
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_01: How can we support you and your book, baby?
• 41:16
  SPEAKER_00: Please, please get my book.
• 41:19
  SPEAKER_00: In softcover, in ebook, and also audiobook, anywhere you would like to purchase your books.
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't have to be Amazon.
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_00: If that's your choice, that's your choice.
• 41:29
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm pretty much everywhere you can buy books.
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_00: And if you do, please leave a review for me.
• 41:36
  SPEAKER_00: I would love it either on Goodreads or on Amazon or Barnes
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_00: and Nobles are good places to leave reviews so more women can find my book
• 41:45
  SPEAKER_00: and ignite their spark.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_00: How wonderful.
• 41:49
  SPEAKER_01: Well, thank you again for taking time to hang out with us.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_01: Such a joy to meet you.
• 41:54
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for listening to The Uplifters Podcast.
• 41:58
  SPEAKER_01: If you're getting a boost from these episodes,
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_01: please share them with The Uplifters in your life and then join us in conversation
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_01: over at theuplifterspodcast.com.
• 42:10
  SPEAKER_01: Head over to Spotify,
• 42:12
  SPEAKER_01: Apple Podcasts,
• 42:13
  SPEAKER_01: or wherever you get your podcasts and like, follow, and rate our show.
• 42:18
  SPEAKER_01: It'll really help us connect with more uplifters and it'll ensure you never miss one
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_01: of these beautiful stories.
• 42:28
  SPEAKER_03: Big love.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_03: Painted water, sunshine.
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_03: With rosemary and thyme, dwell in the perplexing, though you find it vexing.
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_03: Toss a star and hover, be your own best lover.
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_03: Relish in a new prime, land a tree in springtime.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_03: Dance with idle hindsight, bring the sun to twilight.
• 42:54
  SPEAKER_03: Lift you up.
• 42:56
  SPEAKER_03: Lift you up.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_02: Lift you up.
• 42:59
  SPEAKER_02: Lift you up.
• 43:22
  SPEAKER_02: Beautiful.
• 43:26
  SPEAKER_02: I cried.
• 43:27
  SPEAKER_02: It's that little thing you did
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_02: with your voice.
• 43:41
  SPEAKER_02: Right, in the pre-chorus, right?
• 43:42
  SPEAKER_02: I was like... Mommy, stop crying.
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_01: Mommy, stop crying.
• 43:48
  SPEAKER_01: You're disturbing the peace.