Latest / The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook / Unapologetically Authentic: Prioritizing Yourself & Living by Your Own Expectations with Anna Przy

Transcript

Unapologetically Authentic: Prioritizing Yourself & Living by Your Own Expectations with Anna Przy · The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook

• 0:01
  Hello, Melissa Crook here. Welcome to today's episode.
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  Unapologetically authentic, prioritizing yourself and living
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  by your own expectations with Anna Prizy.
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  This one's going to be a fun one, folks.
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  Make a list of what you do for yourself versus what you do for
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  others. Which list is bigger?
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  Which list do you fulfill most of the time?
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  Make sure you're doing as much, if not more for yourself as you
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  do for others. Remember, it's important to
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  operate from that full cup, not that empty one.
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  But some really thoughtful ways to engage today as we have fun
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  with this new episode. Unapologetically authentic,
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  prioritizing yourself and living by your own expectations with
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  Anna Prezi. Enjoy the episode.
• 0:53
  Thanks so much for being with us,
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  the Low Field Podcast audience. Welcome back this week.
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  I have a guest today that I think is going to really put the
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  A and authentic for us and the E and living out of your own
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  expectations versus others in the best way possible.
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  I've Anna Prizzi with me here today and Anna Prizzi met
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  through Podmatch. We're good friends at Podmatch
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  connected us, and her story and the way she's chosen to walk it
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  out and embrace it is really a great example of what's
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  possible. When we decide to just, you know
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  what? That script isn't serving me.
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  I'm going to show up as my authentic self.
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  I'm going to do it with my character, my charm, my wit, and
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  I'm going to invite other people to come along with me.
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  And if they don't want to, that's fine, but they're not
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  going to deter me from being exactly who I am.
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  And so Anna, she describes herself as empathetic, magical,
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  and delusional. Welcome to the field.
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  Podcast I, I like to say delusional just because I, I do
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  think I, I think a lot of the reason that I have any success
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  is because I dive into things with no regard for what the
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  outcome will be so. There's a lot of freedom in that
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  too, though. I mean, I think if you can get
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  to that point, would you say that's true?
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  Yeah, it's, it's very freeing. It's also, you know, interesting
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  when you're trying to make a living, but.
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  Yeah. Yeah.
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  Yeah, I love that. I love it so much.
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  OK, I'm going to go right into then because I think maybe that
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  approach is a little bit fits into this, how you prioritize
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  self-care in your life and what that looks like for you.
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  You've been very open and honest and OUTFRONT about the things
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  that you have struggled with that, yeah, terms with, but also
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  that you've had to learn how to walk through in a way that feels
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  authentic and healthy for you. And that is a form of self-care.
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  People really, we talk a lot about self-care and we talk
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  about the things we do on the daily basis.
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  And that's important. I've got my things that I need
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  to do to take care of myself well, but also is there's a
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  certain degree of that just wrapped up in how you decide to
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  approach things and how healthy that is for you.
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  So and within all of that, talk to me about your journey getting
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  to understanding the importance of caring for yourself well and
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  what that's looked like for you. Yeah, I spent so much of my life
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  with myself on the back burner and I had no, I really had no
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  regard for myself. And that's like a hard thing to
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  look back on. But even my my background is is
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  an eating disorders and then that's kind of led to a
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  self-care and exploration into this chaos motivation space.
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  But it, it was realizing that it took the pandemic to realize
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  this, by the way, because I was the first time I was ever home
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  with myself, with the time to take care of me with, with the
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  space to take care of me and nothing in my way really.
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  I, you know, I didn't have to rush off to work.
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  I didn't have to. It was all kind of gone.
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  And I, I spent that entire time kind of re centering my life on
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  me because I was going through all these realizations like, do
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  I even like my life? Do do I like what I'm going
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  through? Like what is going on here?
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  And then kind of noticing, Oh my God, like, where am I?
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  I remember I was talking to a therapist at the beginning of
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  the pandemic and she was like, list for me, like the top 10
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  most important things in your life right now.
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  And I gave her the list and she was like, where are you on this
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  list? And I wasn't, I wasn't on it,
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  right? And it was like, oh, no.
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  And it's so funny that other people saw it before I did.
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  And I, I've met with a friend for lunch.
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  This was also during the pandemic.
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  And she goes, Anna, have you ever written a list of all the
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  things you do for other people in a day and then written a list
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  of all the things you do for yourself in a day?
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  And I was like, Oh my God, I haven't done anything for myself
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  in 20 years. And so it just became this like,
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  Oh my, I have to, I have to recenter me in my life.
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  And it became this daily reconstructing and
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  deconstructing of like everything I ever thought I knew
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  to be true. And then the craziest part about
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  putting yourself 1st every step of the way, every step of the
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  day. I was so much better at
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  everything else. Oh, yeah.
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  I was more efficient at my job. I was a better wife.
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  I was a better friend. And all this time I thought, you
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  know, everyone will like me if I'm perfect.
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  And I pour everything into everybody else and, and I'll be
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  the best, you know, person in their life that they know.
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  And it's like, hey, I take care of myself first and foremost
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  always now. And I am still showing up the
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  best for everybody in my life. But I actually have something to
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  give them now because I'm not just an empty sack of exhausted.
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  Yeah. Yes, I love the list.
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  I think that was such a great question of, and this might be
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  your take away today, folks. Write down the list of all the
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  things you do for other people and then what you do for
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  yourself and then take a look at your calendar and I think you'll
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  many times will be shocked. And also it's a great way to
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  check in with yourself to make sure you're prioritizing your
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  Wellness because you said something so important.
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  This script has been backwards for hundreds and hundreds of
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  years now and it's not shocking. It's very logical to say, gosh,
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  if I feel my cop, if I take care of myself, I'm going to 1 be
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  more energetic, more fresh, more ready.
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  I'm going to be there out of a choice because I feel ready to
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  give and fully rejuvenated. I'm not irritable.
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  I'm not running on empty. I've got fresh ideas.
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  I'm affected with my time because I want to make sure I've
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  got something for myself and it reorganizes everything in the
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  healthiest way and everybody wins and I can't.
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  It just is amazing to me. I can, I don't want to say I
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  can't imagine why people have gotten there.
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  It's a it's a method of control to try to keep things and status
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  quo in place, of course, for power brokers to not lose their
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  power. So I I do get it.
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  And also, but I've been telling you, yeah, I'm telling you know,
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  women all the time, like don't buy into this story, the
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  narrative. It's not true when it's not for
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  you. And actually, hopefully someday
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  it clicks in, we all win when we all show up healthy, well,
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  prioritizing our Wellness. And you find out real quick when
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  you switch, which goes nicely into confidently setting
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  boundaries, who is for you and who was just there to take from
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  you. And so talk to me about that,
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  that realization and, and, and, and how setting healthy
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  boundaries. And we have lots of different
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  words for, but really becoming guardians of our time and making
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  sure we're giving right some place and time to the places
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  that fill us up. And so I was talking with a
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  guest yesterday and she's like, if you're looking at your
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  calendar and you see that thing and every week you go, oh, that
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  might be a hint. I don't want to do that.
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  Yes, I that's exactly it. It's so that I remember it was
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  it was my husband and it was when we first met.
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  And he'd go, I, I was like, I'm dreading going to XY and Z.
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  And he would just look at me like, why are you going?
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  Like my brain broke in a million pieces.
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  Like what do you mean? Why am I going?
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  I'm obligated to attend this thing.
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  And it's like, why? And I really do think that that
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  putting why in place and asking why every step of the way and
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  that like, if it's not a hell yes, it's a no, it's that like,
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  oh, I don't have to do this. And it it's like, if you don't,
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  if you don't have to do that thing and you don't want to do
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  that thing, don't do that thing. Yeah.
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  And so it's so wild to think about.
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  Yeah, it can be groundbreaking when you start looking at it
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  that way and you've you've taken those obligations and turned
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  them into the choices that they actually are.
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  But a bit they're you're when you're, when you're trying to
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  keep everybody else happy and looking for your value
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  affirmations and all that from how well you show up for
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  everybody else. That can be a very daunting
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  switch in your mind when you realize, whoa, I'm really going
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  at this backwards. And also, how are people going
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  to respond to this? But if I don't, I'm not going to
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  be able to show up for myself well and healthy, let alone
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  anybody else. So I've got to put these these
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  markers in place. I I can't believe how
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  unimportant my relationship with myself was.
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  When you think about it, I'm the only person in the entire world
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  who has to spend every single day of my life with me.
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  I'm the only person in the world who has to spend every single
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  minute of my life with me. Nobody else has to do that.
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  And it was the relationship I was investing in the least.
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  Like, all that matters is if, if I am content to be in my own
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  company, right? If I, if I'm looking at myself
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  and being like, oh God, I hate being alone because, you know,
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  I, I don't know who I am and I don't know what I like and I
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  don't know what I like to do. And I don't know what makes me
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  happier, brings me joy. And, and I, I just need other
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  people around because, and I'm saying this because this was me,
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  because I need them to validate my existence.
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  I need you to, to tell me that I'm doing good and, and I'm
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  going to do my best to please you as much as I can.
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  And, and then it's like, OK, that pandemic thing again.
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  And then when you're in a room by yourself for a year, then
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  what? And it's like, oh, I'm all that
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  I have and I just, I can. This was today, by the way, did
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  you know you can just make yourself, you can make yourself
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  a steak sandwich for lunch. You're that important.
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  You can get out a filet and season it up and make yourself a
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  beautiful baguette sandwich. There doesn't have to be anybody
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  here. I, I was laughing the whole
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  time. I was like home alone and I made
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  myself the most extravagant lunch I've ever seen.
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  And I said, I never would have even considered to do this in a,
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  in my past life, right? I would have shoved down a
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  granola bar and walked out the door or whatever.
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  Yeah. I was like, oh, my gosh, I
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  really, I really deserve to take care of me today.
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  And it was like, I'll catch myself in these little moments
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  all the time. Like, wow.
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  What a revelation too, and how. But I want to go back to that
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  pandemic piece. We have heard this story time
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  and time again when we were finally forced to sit down and
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  be quiet and listen to all the noise and process all the noise
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  because we're very uncomfortable with the noise.
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  We want to push it back. All the uncomfortable things,
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  all those scary thoughts and ways we've been moving in the
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  world. We were forced into some quiet
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  time to sit with them. And we had the time and choice
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  of like, because you said it earlier, do I like my life?
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  Do I like the way I'm showing up in my life?
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  But sometimes, but it takes some courage to sit with that and
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  answer those questions because there can be a lot of fear on
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  what's on the other side of that if I make these shifts.
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  So I want to convince you for the courage to do that.
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  Totally. Because I think that's a big
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  part of this, because it's easier to just stay comfortable
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  in so many ways. But it also, and a lot of people
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  make that choice because of the fear of what it's like on the
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  other side. But comfort is the enemy of
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  curiosity. Comfort is the enemy of
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  continuing to learn and evolve and grow.
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  In that sense, I'm not talking about the comforts of running
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  water and you know those things. I'm talking about that space
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  that you're living in inhabited and you were you sat down with
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  it. What?
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  You had to make a choice at that point and you chose you.
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  Was there something specific that was like Nope, not living
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  like this anymore? Going to go into a bit of the
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  unknown and do what I can to make my life what I feel
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  authentic to and want it to be. It was a few things.
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  One of them was when I realized that I thought I had a very
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  fulfilled life, but what I had was a very filled life.
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  I it's that were you happy or were you busy?
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  And I was very busy to the point where you don't have any time to
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  realize if you are even enjoying yourself or, or what it is.
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  But, but there was that there's this value people place on
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  having a full life. And it's like, yeah, it was busy
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  every minute of the day. Yes.
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  And it's like, yes, I was busy every minute of every day.
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  And, and, but if you strip it down and say, OK, were you?
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  Did you like it? It's like, well, I'm supposed to
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  like it because it was full and busy and, and, and, and then the
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  other thing that I realized was being good at something doesn't
• 15:42
  mean you enjoy doing it. And it was like, oh, I'm very
• 15:49
  good at my job, but I don't like it.
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  And I, I just tied my entire self worth up in my job and my
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  entire identity up in my job and my entire life up in my job.
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  And then I didn't have the job and it was like, oh God, now
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  what? Who am I now?
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  And I always say, like, it really was just a radical
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  decision to be like, I think I'm going to explore me.
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  And it was that like I always say, why me?
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  Like, why, why could I change my life?
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  You know, I should just have to live like everybody else because
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  that's what I know I'm, I should do according to the world.
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  And, and, and then it's so radical to be like, you know
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  what, I think I'm going to explore this relationship with
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  me. And then instead of saying, why
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  me, I'm going to say, why not me?
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  Why couldn't it be me? And that's kind of every
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  opportunity now, everything that I'm faced with, you know, when
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  I'm like, Oh no, that couldn't, that's not for me, right?
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  Not, not for me. And it's like, why not for you?
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  Why isn't that for you? What, what's this preconceived
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  notion you have that that's not for you?
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  And and then kind of taking that and running with it.
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  Like, no, I, I can write a book. I don't know.
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  It's just like every step of the way and choosing.
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  And then the reason I share so much about it is because I did
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  it right. I chose to live my life for me,
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  and nothing terrible happened. Yeah, So when people.
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  Yeah, nobody's life combusted. Yes.
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  Yes, nothing bad happened. Literally my life flourished and
• 17:30
  I and and doors opened and it was like, wait, was this the
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  secret all along? Is this what the white men knew?
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  Like connect with themselves? Like they just, you know, did I
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  just discovered the secret and the secret is just living for
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  you could actually make your life fit you And and I don't
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  know. And that's kind of why I got
• 17:55
  online and wanted to share it because it was like, hey, hey, I
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  have something to tell you. Everyone needs to know this.
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  Yeah, like wait, wait. Let me tell you something you
• 18:08
  know. You want everyone else to know.
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  Oh my gosh, yes, because it's like yes, yes, yes.
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  I wanna share even somebody the other day she goes, I really
• 18:18
  wanted to make a podcast from my bed, but you did it.
• 18:20
  So now I need a new idea and I said, I think everybody should
• 18:24
  make a podcast from their bed. What do you mean?
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  I was like, why are we gate gatekeeping happiness and, and,
• 18:31
  and, and the lives that we want? And no, I, I want to go online
• 18:35
  and tell you about it so you can be happy too, because I think if
• 18:38
  we could get everybody on board, you know, we could really make
• 18:41
  some change. Oh my gosh.
• 18:44
  You just nailed it there. If we could get everybody on
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  board and not act like a space is limited, that there's room
• 18:53
  for all of us, that when one of us finds there's so much room,
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  Oh my gosh, one of us rooms. We all the Internet is
• 19:01
  limitless. By the way, it is.
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  There's no end to the space in place.
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  I love the way that is such a beautiful way of putting that.
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  That is what it looks like. And it's the only way we're
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  going to change anything is by coming together, bringing our
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  own spice, our own personalities, our own way of
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  being, and doing that thing that feels authentic to us.
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  And if we're all in our beds all over the world, great.
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  And if we find spaces, that's right.
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  Better. Yeah.
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  This idea that. Yes, because you, we all bring
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  our own unique ways about it. So no one's doing it exactly the
• 19:39
  same if we're being authentic to ourselves.
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  I love that so much. That was so good.
• 19:44
  And so why did it look like you said something so important?
• 19:47
  You ask yourself, am I busy or am I happy?
• 19:51
  And, and that is like when you started taking things apart from
• 19:57
  the busy and moving into the happy, how did others receive
• 20:02
  that? How was that communicating that
• 20:04
  to people? Because that can be a really
• 20:06
  tricky thing when people start making space for themselves in
• 20:09
  their life, start saying no to some things, start reorganizing.
• 20:17
  I think I lucky and unlucky, right, that I had been so busy
• 20:22
  and I had kept my life so jam packed that I didn't have that
• 20:27
  many meaningful relationships. And that's like devastating,
• 20:31
  right, right. I see.
• 20:33
  That was one of my favorite parts of about the pandemic was
• 20:36
  I actually got to talk to some of my friends, you know, that I
• 20:40
  hadn't, hadn't given that time to, I hadn't taken the time to
• 20:44
  be like, Oh my gosh, I've been very wrapped up in my life.
• 20:50
  How are you like? Oh my gosh.
• 20:52
  And I, I, I gave so much. I, I would say I'm a recovering
• 20:56
  workaholic because I really did. I was giving 150% of myself to
• 21:02
  my career and I. There was nothing.
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  Left in my real life, right it was, oh, I had all the, I had
• 21:10
  all the appearances. I had the things I was supposed
• 21:13
  to have in the house and the car and the and the job and the and
• 21:17
  all of it. But but I didn't have any
• 21:19
  substance. I didn't have.
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  There was nothing here. I wasn't anything.
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  I did everything I thought I was supposed to do and without ever
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  questioning if I liked it. Yeah.
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  And I don't know, my relationships have really
• 21:35
  improved since I started taking care of myself.
• 21:38
  Another reason why I like to share it so much.
• 21:40
  I'm a I'm a better everything. I I'm just, I show up for people
• 21:45
  in a way I never have before. And I get to show up for the
• 21:48
  Internet and I get to show up in these spaces in the real world
• 21:52
  and be like, hey, this is really important.
• 21:55
  Yeah. Yeah, I I think you said
• 21:57
  something so early. We we follow the script of,
• 22:01
  yeah, do this, do that, go to college, go to high school, get
• 22:05
  the job, graduate, get the car, the partner, the house, all
• 22:09
  these things and you will be fulfilled and happy.
• 22:11
  And it's like I'm a busy shell of myself because none of at no
• 22:17
  point. Did I stop to?
• 22:18
  Ask myself, is this feel like something I want to do?
• 22:23
  Is this feel like an Ave. that would be of interest to me or do
• 22:27
  I feel like I can change my mind?
• 22:29
  I mean so many of the things and.
• 22:33
  Yeah, it's just. That getting to that space and
• 22:35
  being so fully present and, and having quality people, quality
• 22:40
  relationships, your time is, you know, spent in ways that feel
• 22:46
  healthy and true to you. It changes everything.
• 22:49
  It's like, why didn't somebody tell me this sooner?
• 22:52
  And, you know, and so I think it's so great how you like, wait
• 22:55
  a minute, we're gonna get on and we're gonna talk about this.
• 22:59
  And it's so funny to live outside of it now, right?
• 23:02
  And I watch it still happening all the time this like this.
• 23:06
  I and I believed it too. I really thought there was a lot
• 23:08
  of glory in burning yourself out.
• 23:10
  I thought there was a prize for being the most exhausted at the
• 23:13
  end of the day. And I, this happened maybe like
• 23:16
  a year ago and my dad called me to tell me all of this stuff he
• 23:19
  did that nobody asked him to do. And he wanted me to tell him.
• 23:24
  Oh amazing. Wow, I can't believe you did
• 23:27
  that. And I, I literally, I said,
• 23:30
  well, did you want to like, nobody asked you to do that.
• 23:33
  I really wish you would have just taken that time to
• 23:36
  yourself. Like, why?
• 23:37
  Why did you go to work on a Saturday and then brag about it?
• 23:40
  I don't, I don't understand, you know, it's that it's like I
• 23:46
  need, I want everybody to get out of that mindset of like, no,
• 23:50
  but I went in on a Saturday and I worked extra hard and it's
• 23:53
  like, OK, but do you think that time could have been spent any
• 23:56
  better doing something else? Maybe, Yeah.
• 23:59
  Did you feel let? Did you?
• 24:00
  Did you, Did you feel really tired on Monday 'cause you
• 24:03
  didn't take Saturday to take care of yourself?
• 24:06
  I mean, yeah, like. OK, there's no prizes.
• 24:09
  There's no prizes, by the way. There's not.
• 24:12
  There's the. Yeah.
• 24:17
  That's such an important point. You gotta.
• 24:20
  Celebrate the little things. Like I did the dishes yesterday
• 24:23
  and I was like, I can't believe I just did the dishes.
• 24:25
  That was incredible. I'm, I'm a superhero, you know,
• 24:32
  I, I just, it's romanticizing your own life and, and, and
• 24:37
  taking everything that's tiny and making it huge.
• 24:41
  And I don't know, it's like, it's like when I say delusional,
• 24:44
  it's just like, Oh my gosh, I just want everybody to live in
• 24:46
  this space where like we, we think every mundane thing is
• 24:49
  magical and, and we just get to giggle and say, I don't wanna do
• 24:54
  that thing. That sounds awful and say no to
• 24:58
  things. Yeah.
• 25:01
  Yeah, I love that approach. That's so healthy.
• 25:03
  And yeah, I mean, we still. I mean, This is why I think both
• 25:06
  of us in our own ways are doing this.
• 25:08
  It's like time out, time out. There's a better way to do this.
• 25:13
  You. Don't have to that carrot.
• 25:16
  They keep tinkling in front of you that's supposed to be this
• 25:18
  great rewarding feeling, and prize isn't really there.
• 25:22
  It just wants you to keep chasing it, to keep you in line.
• 25:25
  It's a carrot. If you get it, it's a carrot
• 25:33
  exactly temporary, like maybe if you really like carrots, but
• 25:36
  it's still just a carrot. It's that is so.
• 25:40
  True. All right.
• 25:42
  Talk to me about this shift. Had to be a big part of it too.
• 25:45
  But again, you're very open about your experiences, your
• 25:48
  struggles, things that have been hard for you as you've made this
• 25:52
  shift. I would imagine you've noticed a
• 25:54
  change here too. But talk to me about taking care
• 25:57
  of our emotional, physical, and spiritual mental health.
• 26:03
  It's all part of the package, and when we're running hard and
• 26:07
  grinding, grinding, grinding all the time, we don't really pay
• 26:10
  attention to the impact it's happening on all of those spaces
• 26:14
  and places. So talk to me about that kind of
• 26:17
  transformation for you and what you've noticed since you've made
• 26:20
  the decision to choose you. First of all, the burnout was
• 26:28
  very real. The burnout of a lifetime of
• 26:31
  hustle culture when you finally stop is when I say objects in
• 26:37
  motion stay in motion and then you slap a brick wall in front
• 26:40
  of you. This really big impact.
• 26:45
  I once I finally chose to slow down, it was like it all came
• 26:50
  crashing down. And then it became this like, Oh
• 26:54
  no, like I am deeply, deeply exhausted in a way that I've
• 27:01
  never experienced before. And the guilt that comes with
• 27:06
  that, right? Because you should be able to
• 27:07
  get over it or get through it or whatever.
• 27:09
  And it's just like, no, this feels, this feels like a very
• 27:14
  real, a very dangerous thing that I really need to address
• 27:18
  because you can't overachieve your way through it.
• 27:21
  That's the other thing, you know, I, I always want to like,
• 27:26
  I'm gonna drink a bunch of green juice and I'm, I'm gonna, I'm
• 27:29
  gonna do a bunch of stuff in one day and take so many vitamins
• 27:33
  and then I'm not gonna be tired anymore.
• 27:34
  Just like, no, no, if you ran yourself into the ground for 20
• 27:37
  years, like I'm so sorry, but there's like a lot of real life
• 27:42
  impacts that that's gonna have on you and a lot of, you know,
• 27:45
  mental wear and tear as well. I I mean.
• 27:49
  I'm not afraid to. Ask for help, which I'm feel
• 27:51
  very grateful for. I have really have never been
• 27:54
  afraid to ask for help. So the second I realized like,
• 27:58
  Oh, no, it was like therapist, psychiatrist on the dial, like,
• 28:03
  hey, and just kind of Reese just starting over, I guess.
• 28:10
  And and being really honest about what I was feeling and how
• 28:14
  it was going and recognizing that that burnout wasn't from,
• 28:20
  you know, yesterday or the day before.
• 28:23
  I was a lifetime of all of the times that I didn't put myself
• 28:29
  first, compounding in, in one moment and being like, oh, this
• 28:35
  is gonna be, this is going to be the next lifetime of choosing
• 28:39
  myself every step of the way. And the next lifetime of waking
• 28:43
  up and knowing that eating something is better than not
• 28:46
  eating anything. And that I have to drink water
• 28:49
  and that I, I really have to cover my basics.
• 28:51
  You really have to sleep. You really have to eat.
• 28:54
  And you know, all the things I would have just let go before I
• 28:58
  was like, I say, I have, I, I had a lot of weight in that.
• 29:02
  Like there's glory and burning yourself out.
• 29:03
  I remember I used to say it's not dehydration, it's increased
• 29:06
  product. You know, it's really toxic.
• 29:10
  Yeah, yeah, it's really toxic shit.
• 29:12
  Because because I was like, well, I won't have to go to the
• 29:15
  bathroom if I don't drink any water and then I can work for 12
• 29:17
  straight out, you know, just really not good.
• 29:21
  Yeah, but we. Do that that's such a good
• 29:23
  point. I will you you think about our
• 29:26
  day or look at it and be like if I drink too much water here, I
• 29:29
  mean I have to get it. I mean, yes, that was such a
• 29:32
  sadly good example. Yeah, super sad.
• 29:36
  Yeah, I mean, it's a it's a real thing.
• 29:39
  I used to say, like, that's AI used to say it at work all the
• 29:44
  time. And it's just like, oh, Anna.
• 29:47
  Yeah. What are you doing?
• 29:49
  That poor girl. Yeah.
• 29:52
  And I don't know, I feel so removed from it.
• 29:55
  It's it's sometimes it's hard to get back into that space.
• 30:00
  Like, Oh yeah, I have been choosing myself for about four
• 30:03
  years now. And like, you know, my life is
• 30:06
  completely different. I I wouldn't recognize it if I
• 30:09
  looked like, I wouldn't recognize this life if I looked
• 30:14
  at it from the outside. Yeah.
• 30:17
  Yeah, absolutely. Because it's so.
• 30:19
  Against what's ingrained in my brain, it's so.
• 30:23
  Against the cultural narrative. Yeah, that too.
• 30:27
  I mean, people are always like, don't you feel selfish?
• 30:29
  Like my kids come first and I'm like, no, I don't.
• 30:33
  I think you'd be OK if you came first.
• 30:37
  I don't want to tell you how to live your life, but I'm going to
• 30:39
  tell you how I lived mine. And you can take with that what
• 30:42
  you will. Yeah.
• 30:44
  I think that's used a great example there.
• 30:48
  If think about. How you want to show up for your
• 30:50
  kids? Do you want to show up as a
• 30:52
  martyr? How do you want them to remember
• 30:55
  you as someone who always sacrificed herself, who never
• 30:58
  took care of herself, who showed up irritable and tired and
• 31:03
  crabby, or someone who really took this pace to take care of
• 31:07
  herself? Because they remember those
• 31:09
  things and they will take them with themselves into adulthood.
• 31:12
  Do you want your kids? I was.
• 31:13
  Raised by two martyrs. Yeah, many of us.
• 31:19
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 31:21
  And it's just like, I don't want to do that.
• 31:23
  And I'm so lucky because my parents have kind of come on
• 31:26
  this journey with me to, I mean, not, not, not not quite as far
• 31:31
  as, as, as this, but but the the fact that like my mom called me
• 31:36
  once and she's like, I'm getting better at slowing down a little.
• 31:39
  And I and it's like, I love that for you.
• 31:41
  That's amazing. And, you know, just trying to
• 31:44
  let go of that guilt of not having every minute of your life
• 31:49
  filled and feeling OK with knowing when you have free time,
• 31:53
  you don't have to shove it full of anything.
• 31:55
  Like, yeah. Exactly.
• 31:59
  It's like maybe you just sit down and breathe.
• 32:02
  Maybe you close your eyes and take a nap.
• 32:05
  Maybe you go outside and just let the sun hit your face, or
• 32:09
  listen to the rainfall, or sit with your eyes.
• 32:12
  Closed outside is yeah my. Favorite.
• 32:15
  Things to do. I yesterday afternoon sun was
• 32:18
  out and it was going to rain the next few days.
• 32:21
  I went outside. I just sat outside and closed my
• 32:24
  eyes and let the sun just hit my face.
• 32:27
  It reset my nervous system. It calmed everything inside me.
• 32:33
  It. Allowed.
• 32:34
  Everything to kind of just settle and then all of a sudden
• 32:37
  I came back in. I had all kinds of creative
• 32:39
  ideas. I mean, there's just I used we.
• 32:41
  I get so focused on feeling our space or I'm going to be bored.
• 32:45
  Are you going to be bored or are you just afraid to sit with
• 32:48
  yourself in the quiet? And because I don't even want to
• 32:52
  get. Bored anymore?
• 32:54
  I don't. I don't either, I think.
• 32:55
  I've been bored in two years. Like I love to do nothing.
• 33:00
  It's one of my favorites now. Yeah.
• 33:03
  I. I think that that has a lot to
• 33:05
  do though, with that mind shift that you you've made in that my
• 33:10
  time doesn't have to be fueled all the time.
• 33:12
  I don't. I'm not a human doing.
• 33:14
  I'm a human being 100. Percent be.
• 33:19
  And just be present in whatever moment there is and find the joy
• 33:23
  in those simple things and allow that to be.
• 33:27
  And guess what? I'm going to be in a better mood
• 33:30
  than all y'all who write yourselves and.
• 33:33
  I'm going to show up. Better for myself and everybody
• 33:36
  else along with it, but it takes time.
• 33:39
  You have to take time and practice it for a while to kind
• 33:42
  of train yourself and your nervous system out of it.
• 33:45
  It took me. I don't know about you, yes.
• 33:48
  It's only been. Probably about the last year and
• 33:50
  a half to two years and I started practicing this probably
• 33:54
  fall 2019 and then 2020 when everything shut down had at a
• 33:59
  whole other level to like, oh, I really have time now.
• 34:04
  It's been the last that that little voice, nagging voice
• 34:07
  because I am a recovering codependent like by the book and
• 34:13
  for that little voice to kind of settle anymore, I'm like, Nope.
• 34:17
  I do not feel. Guilty.
• 34:18
  I feel settled. I feel, well, I feel like I'm
• 34:21
  showing up for myself and I'm feeling, I'm feeling like I'm
• 34:24
  showing as an example other women that they can do that too.
• 34:31
  Yeah, and. I mean, for me it's every day
• 34:34
  and, and it's actually a really good marker for me is when I, if
• 34:39
  I, I'll be a little late to notice, but when I'm feeling
• 34:42
  really guilty and really irritable and really annoyed,
• 34:45
  I'll be like, hey, have you had any water or food or slept or
• 34:51
  taken care of yourself? And it's like, no, yeah.
• 34:56
  Oh, oh, you know, maybe you're not doing as well as you think
• 35:00
  you are. And, and, and maybe it's time to
• 35:03
  check back in because the programming runs so deep.
• 35:07
  Like my guilt knows no bounds. And it is constantly trying to
• 35:11
  take over and be like, you should feel more guilty.
• 35:14
  You should feel more guilty about the way you live your
• 35:16
  life. And, and to have to constantly
• 35:19
  be like, I'm not going to do that.
• 35:21
  I'm not going to do that. Like, yeah, we're not going
• 35:25
  there. I don't want to go there.
• 35:27
  Yeah, and I think it's learning to dismantle all those thoughts.
• 35:30
  We're so conditioned to treat our thoughts as truth rather
• 35:34
  than just know that's thoughts from an old narrative that's
• 35:37
  still spinning in there that needs to be a packed and
• 35:41
  addressed. And how you talked about paying
• 35:43
  attention to those clues your body we're giving you.
• 35:45
  Gosh, I'm tired and irritable. Oh, I haven't taken care of
• 35:48
  myself today. Of course I'm feeling.
• 35:50
  Yeah. It's, it's funny because it's
• 35:54
  simple, but it's not at all right.
• 35:56
  It's like the concept is, is too simple.
• 36:00
  It's like, hey, if you just take care of yourself, things might
• 36:03
  start to fall into place, But you're like, I don't have the
• 36:06
  time to take care of myself. I don't have the resources to
• 36:08
  take, I can't take care of myself.
• 36:10
  I I gotta do this. And it's like, well, why don't
• 36:13
  you try it? Just give it a try and then and
• 36:19
  then get back to me. Yeah, yeah.
• 36:23
  I'll be curious to hear your answer.
• 36:24
  I know you hear something so important.
• 36:26
  I hear that I don't have time all the time.
• 36:28
  I'm like, how much time are you scrolling on your phone?
• 36:31
  How much time are you watching? You know, how much time are you
• 36:36
  on the phone on things that aren't billing for you,
• 36:40
  generating for you? Where's some time in the car you
• 36:42
  can listen to your favorite music and just be quiet.
• 36:46
  I mean, there's find those spaces in the time that already
• 36:48
  exists. To feel that but.
• 36:51
  Some of it too, is that we're just, again, it goes back to
• 36:53
  that fear. We're afraid of getting off
• 36:55
  script. We're afraid of what's going to
• 36:56
  happen when we start actually doing what feels well to US
• 37:01
  versus what we've been told we should be doing.
• 37:05
  Somebody. Said to me once they were like,
• 37:07
  I wish I could, you know, listen to your podcast every day, but
• 37:10
  I, I don't have the time and I was like, it's 5 minutes.
• 37:16
  I put on a 5 minute show every day.
• 37:18
  I was like, you don't have when you wake up, do you get right
• 37:21
  out of bed like or like you don't.
• 37:24
  I'm not pressuring you to listen to my show, but that's not AI.
• 37:29
  Don't believe that you don't have 5 minutes in your whole
• 37:32
  day. Yeah, and it's like whether.
• 37:36
  You choose it for my show or something else.
• 37:37
  I'm I'm challenging to you to repurpose that 5 minutes
• 37:41
  wherever it is into something that's healthy for you.
• 37:44
  I It's really funny because in. I, I do this every day where I,
• 37:50
  I give everybody a task for the day.
• 37:52
  And a lot of the days it's to do nothing for 5 minutes.
• 37:56
  And, and that's, you know, I know how hard that is, but it's
• 37:59
  like, and, and, and I'm not even asking you not to think, right.
• 38:04
  I'm letting your mind run wild, whatever you want to do.
• 38:07
  But I want you to be like don't do anything for 5 minutes and
• 38:11
  see what happens. You know and and you get better
• 38:14
  at it you. Do I started with three minutes
• 38:17
  and then I'm now 10 to 15 minutes a day and it's one of
• 38:22
  the things I look the most forward to it's.
• 38:26
  Like. When you can.
• 38:28
  When you can step away from your life, it is when you come back.
• 38:32
  Even if it's 5-10 minutes. If you really step away and and
• 38:35
  don't participate in existence for 10 minutes, your brain
• 38:39
  literally resets. You come back so much, it's
• 38:42
  like, if you're struggling, it's like writer's block or creative
• 38:46
  block. Walk away.
• 38:47
  Stop trying to do it then. And even like I people have said
• 38:52
  it about sleeping, like, if you can't sleep, don't like.
• 38:56
  Yeah, yeah. Just do something then.
• 38:58
  Like and I'm like, Oh my gosh, it's so funny to think of like.
• 39:03
  You just need to. Step away from it and I use the
• 39:06
  the analogy of my dogs when they when we were training them and
• 39:10
  they don't understand something or they're getting frustrated.
• 39:13
  You're just supposed to throw a treat across the room and reset
• 39:16
  them. You know, like.
• 39:18
  Yeah, go over there, have a treat, come back and we'll we'll
• 39:21
  regroup. And I was like, I need to do
• 39:23
  that in my life. I need to throw a treat across
• 39:25
  the room and, and, and reset where I'm at because I will just
• 39:30
  dig in and be like, I've been staring at the screen all day
• 39:33
  and I'm not getting anything done.
• 39:34
  It's like, stop staring at the screen.
• 39:38
  Yeah. Yeah, and also pay attention to
• 39:40
  your body if it's starting to seize up, if you're breathing
• 39:43
  shallow, if you're clenching your jaw.
• 39:45
  These are things I started becoming aware of like whoa whoa
• 39:49
  whoa, need to get up, walk around the room, get something
• 39:51
  to eat, grab some water, go check the mail, whatever 'cause
• 39:55
  I work from home so walk to the end of the.
• 39:58
  Driveway. That's my own one.
• 40:00
  It's like a physical reset, like walk to the end of the driveway
• 40:03
  and then walk back to the computer and like.
• 40:07
  Start over. Yeah, no, all those little
• 40:09
  things really make a difference. That's such a good example.
• 40:11
  All right, this next one, you do this.
• 40:13
  This is how you're living now. How we can support ourselves and
• 40:17
  other women in living unapologetically.
• 40:20
  You have gotten to that space and it's such a great example.
• 40:24
  But talk to me about that journey and how that do you see
• 40:27
  yourself that way? I know just you, so much of what
• 40:31
  you do now, the way you show up on TikTok, I mean, you've got
• 40:34
  millions of followers now. People are connecting with your
• 40:37
  message. You, you're, you do you.
• 40:40
  You're a comedian. And you do this in ways that
• 40:43
  people have really connected to. Does that feel that way to you?
• 40:47
  Yeah. Yes and no.
• 40:51
  I mean, I obviously have eyeballs and I can see the
• 40:55
  tangible like numbers and comments and things like that,
• 40:59
  but I will get messages of where I don't get it.
• 41:03
  And they're like, you don't understand, like the cultural
• 41:05
  impact this is having. And I'm like, no, I definitely
• 41:07
  don't. But the thing about everything
• 41:10
  that I'm doing and I like to, I like to tell people this because
• 41:13
  it's like, I'm not like some selfless, like a little, but
• 41:17
  not, you know, I'm not like this martyr, this selfless woman.
• 41:20
  I'm everything I'm doing is for me.
• 41:23
  Yeah. You know, the person whose life
• 41:25
  I've changed is mine. The person whose life I saved is
• 41:29
  mine. And all I'm doing is showing you
• 41:33
  what I'm doing, what I'm learning how.
• 41:36
  You know, I'm shouting it very loudly in a silly way, but I'm
• 41:40
  just telling you what I'm learning, the way I'm feeling.
• 41:43
  And. And that can resonate or not,
• 41:49
  but, but I, the reason I'm comfortable sharing it is
• 41:54
  because I know that it works because it worked for me.
• 41:57
  And and, you know, I'd have no aspirations to be a cult leader
• 42:01
  or anything. So you subscribe or not, right.
• 42:06
  Take it or leave it. I'm just like, here it is if you
• 42:09
  want it. Yeah.
• 42:11
  And yeah, I, I, I have become the voice in my own head, which
• 42:18
  is amazing versus, you know, my mom's voice in my head or
• 42:23
  society's voice in my head or that hot girl's voice in my
• 42:26
  head, you know, it's whatever it is.
• 42:31
  And I have become the own, my own voice in my head where it's
• 42:34
  like, hey, hey. And I'll catch myself and I have
• 42:38
  all my own isms. And it's like, oh.
• 42:40
  And then that is one of the things that I'll hear that like.
• 42:44
  Like. That's crazy to hear.
• 42:47
  When someone's like, I finally heard your voice in my head
• 42:50
  today, like when I went to do something and I felt bad about
• 42:54
  it or I felt guilty about it or whatever.
• 42:56
  And then they were like, no, I'm exhausted and I need this nap
• 43:01
  like, and Anna told me I could. And it's like, you know, and
• 43:06
  that's like that same reason I get like negative feedback too,
• 43:09
  is like people telling me I'm going to make everybody lazy,
• 43:13
  which isn't a thing and and selfish, which isn't taking care
• 43:17
  of yourself isn't and, and all these things.
• 43:20
  But but I also understand where they're coming from because it's
• 43:23
  really hard to hear if you're not ready to hear it, yes.
• 43:27
  That's just it. The people that are worried
• 43:29
  about the lazy piece I that word needs to be completely either
• 43:35
  taken out of the English language or actually it's used.
• 43:40
  So it's just a way to. Keep us productive and producing
• 43:44
  and producing and producing and producing.
• 43:47
  Word did they use as a weapon. It's like, no, you know, I keep
• 43:52
  charging, charging charge and nobody wins.
• 43:54
  You're not getting my best work. I'm not showing up as my
• 43:57
  healthiest, best self. I'm literally shortening my life
• 44:00
  from the stress and the anxiety from the depression and the
• 44:04
  exhaustion and the not fueling myself well and the not moving
• 44:08
  my body and refreshing my mind. Nobody wins in that thing if
• 44:12
  you're looking at it long term. But yeah, people, they like to
• 44:15
  weaponize that lazy piece. But I'd love.
• 44:20
  What you. Said here about I am now the
• 44:23
  voice in my own head that is magic that's mad that's yeah,
• 44:30
  that's. What I mean by magical because
• 44:33
  it goes back to. Magical.
• 44:34
  That is magical. And if you can be the voice in
• 44:37
  others heads until their voice can get there on its own, that's
• 44:41
  magical. And this whole, this BS about,
• 44:45
  you know what, we've been doing this wrong.
• 44:47
  And we're, and whenever big changes happen in your own life
• 44:52
  in a cultural narrative, it's going to butt up against people
• 44:56
  that aren't ready to make that move yet.
• 44:59
  They aren't. And you're not responsible to
• 45:01
  change them. The way you approach this is
• 45:03
  like, this is what I found that works for me.
• 45:06
  That's how I, I'm like, I'm going to approach this.
• 45:08
  I'm going to have these conversations with this
• 45:10
  framework because it's worked for me.
• 45:13
  I'm going to bring on other people that are doing it in
• 45:15
  their way because it's worked for them.
• 45:18
  We are offering this up because it's worked for us.
• 45:21
  You can take it or leave it, but it's here and it's horrible when
• 45:26
  you get burned out and are tired of this existence that isn't
• 45:31
  serving you and isn't serving the people that you're engaged.
• 45:37
  And I believe it's important. Like for me, I'm putting myself
• 45:41
  and my story and my life online because it's important to me.
• 45:46
  You know, it's, it's, it's important to me And, and, and if
• 45:52
  it's important to someone else, that's awesome, but it doesn't
• 45:54
  have to be. It's like people will say, you
• 45:58
  know, that like I, I still think creating the content is
• 46:01
  important, even if nobody saw it.
• 46:04
  Yep. Because my life is, is just
• 46:10
  unquestionably so much more magical than I ever thought it
• 46:17
  could be. Yeah.
• 46:19
  Because I had. Resolved to live my life the way
• 46:21
  I thought I was supposed to yes. And was going to go to my grave
• 46:26
  like that, like yeah, 100% and. That's and that's what so many
• 46:31
  of us do and that we've another thing we've got to dismantle is
• 46:34
  this selfish bullshit. It is not selfish to prioritize
• 46:39
  your Wellness. That is not selfish.
• 46:42
  That is actually, it's actually kind because guess what, you're
• 46:48
  going to like the person who shows up for you.
• 46:50
  Now she's going to be a lot more pleasant.
• 46:53
  She's going to have a lot more great ideas.
• 46:55
  She's going to be a lot more present and and she's going to
• 47:00
  you're and it's you're going to get that authentic person.
• 47:03
  If that's not what you're looking for, then we shouldn't
• 47:05
  be in a relationship in any way, whether it's work or otherwise.
• 47:11
  Yes, and when you show up for yourself that way, you're
• 47:13
  setting the standard for the relationships in your life.
• 47:19
  When I show up for me and I treat myself a certain way,
• 47:22
  that's now the standard for how other people can treat me.
• 47:25
  And I have not taken care of myself in the past and been
• 47:28
  treated like garbage. Now that makes sense to me
• 47:31
  because I wasn't setting an example of how I deserve to be
• 47:34
  treated. I was saying, yes, I am garbage,
• 47:41
  right? And and now it's like, no, no,
• 47:44
  I'm like very cool and awesome. So we, you know, yeah, show.
• 47:50
  Up I expect to be. Yeah, I expect, I expect to be
• 47:54
  treated as exactly and. If not, then it's not my.
• 47:57
  Room, right? And that's the other thing now
• 48:00
  that I I am in this kind of relationship with myself where I
• 48:03
  really think I'm really cute and really fun and I love spending
• 48:07
  time with me and being in my brain is a pleasant experience
• 48:11
  for me now, whereas it never had been before in my life.
• 48:15
  You know, I also know that not everybody's going to like me and
• 48:19
  I'm not going to spend my time trying to make them like me.
• 48:22
  And not every room is going to be for me.
• 48:24
  And I'm not going to change to go into that room.
• 48:27
  I'm just going to either create or create a space for myself or
• 48:32
  go fill the me sized hole that exists somewhere.
• 48:35
  Yeah. Yeah, I love that so much and
• 48:38
  and I think that is the great thing.
• 48:40
  And it goes back to what we were talking about earlier.
• 48:41
  There's room for us all to show up as our authentic selves.
• 48:45
  We're not going to be for everybody.
• 48:47
  Everybody's not going to be for us.
• 48:49
  That doesn't mean we don't do it because we do it because it
• 48:52
  feels like this is what I was designed for.
• 48:55
  This is what I was created for. I'm going to show up well for me
• 48:59
  here, and others are welcome to join me, but it's not my
• 49:02
  responsibility to change them. It's not my responsibility to
• 49:06
  make them come. That's their choice.
• 49:08
  And it's my responsibility to take care of me, not someone
• 49:13
  else's responsibility. So I'm going to show up in ways
• 49:16
  now that take that are taking care of me.
• 49:20
  Yes. It's so funny, too, because
• 49:23
  there was so my husband and I lived apart for four years.
• 49:27
  He was in New Jersey and I was in Michigan, and there was so
• 49:30
  much weird judgement about it. Yeah.
• 49:33
  And. They were like, well, isn't that
• 49:35
  hard, Like what happened? I was like, well, we both have
• 49:39
  full lives. I have a full life.
• 49:44
  I he's like bonus, right? Yeah, I don't.
• 49:49
  There's there's. No hole in my life when he's
• 49:51
  gone except for he. He's extra credit.
• 49:53
  I know he's like he. He's awesome when he's here and
• 49:56
  when he's not. I have a whole existence and I'm
• 50:00
  not missing anything because nobody is filling pieces of my
• 50:05
  life. You know I I'm creating my
• 50:07
  space. I'm creating my home in myself.
• 50:09
  And, and really, that's what it is.
• 50:11
  I want, I want, I want being inside my brain to be home.
• 50:15
  And, and I don't want it to be hostile in there like it always
• 50:19
  has been. You know, my brain trying to
• 50:21
  tell me I'm not doing enough or having enough for being enough
• 50:23
  for whatever it is. I, I want to be like, hey, here
• 50:30
  we are. Yeah.
• 50:31
  Yeah. And I think it takes the
• 50:33
  pressure of the relationships to be something they were never
• 50:36
  meant to be. They were never meant to be the
• 50:39
  one that filled the whole or the responsibility to make someone.
• 50:42
  Yes, and. And I was raised.
• 50:44
  Yeah. I mean, I was raised very
• 50:46
  Catholic. Very.
• 50:47
  I remember my aunt told me once that women weren't supposed to
• 50:49
  have jobs. And you're like, oh, what?
• 50:53
  Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
• 50:56
  Yeah, I'm a Mormon. I understand that.
• 51:00
  Oh, my gosh. Yeah.
• 51:01
  You understand it better than anybody.
• 51:03
  It's like you should live your life to serve somebody else.
• 51:06
  Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 51:08
  It's like wait. Live your life to serve somebody
• 51:10
  else. That sounds weird.
• 51:14
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 51:16
  Well, who's? Taking except for those I do
• 51:18
  live my life. To serve them.
• 51:21
  There you go. Awesome.
• 51:24
  Oh my gosh, these are so much good there.
• 51:26
  And it really goes nicely into coming back to your why and your
• 51:31
  values. You value you.
• 51:34
  Your why is living your healthiest, most authentic life
• 51:38
  that keeps you centered. Yes.
• 51:43
  Yeah, I literally am my why. It's like my why is me I I I
• 51:48
  want, I want to enjoy being myself.
• 51:53
  I spent, so I spent 30, I'd say 34 years of my life trying to be
• 52:01
  somebody else, and that's exhausting.
• 52:05
  Yeah. And it's.
• 52:07
  And all that, all that time I could have just spent being who
• 52:11
  I already was, you know, And it's, it's, I always say, I'm
• 52:16
  getting back to whoever I was when I was four years old,
• 52:19
  before all of the outside influence came in and, and told
• 52:23
  me who I should be. I'm getting back to like, hey,
• 52:27
  at your core, what did you want to be?
• 52:28
  And I was like, I wanted to giggle and, and have fun and,
• 52:32
  and, and walk out of parties that I didn't want to be at.
• 52:36
  I, it's a, one of my famous stories is I walked out of my
• 52:40
  best friend's birthday party when I was four years old and I
• 52:42
  walked home and I didn't tell anybody.
• 52:45
  And it's, I always say execution was wrong, right?
• 52:47
  I should have told somebody, but intent was correct.
• 52:50
  It was like, I'm not having fun here.
• 52:52
  I don't really know anybody. And, and honestly, I'm tired and
• 52:55
  I kind of just want to go home and, and play with my toys in my
• 52:58
  space. And, and that's how I live my
• 53:01
  life now. It's like, no, I I want to.
• 53:03
  I want to do whatever feels right.
• 53:05
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 53:07
  And in doing that you're, I would venture to guess by your
• 53:11
  following, you're helping so many more people than you were
• 53:16
  before. Yes, I wasn't helping anybody.
• 53:22
  I exactly. I wasn't helping anybody, Yeah.
• 53:28
  I wasn't making anybody's life better.
• 53:31
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 53:32
  Especially not my own, right? I exactly.
• 53:37
  I was exhausted. You just can't imagine how I I
• 53:43
  never want to be that tired again.
• 53:44
  I never want to. Yeah.
• 53:48
  Well, sadly, I think too many people do know that.
• 53:51
  Too many women know that, I mean.
• 53:54
  And that is why it's so important for us to living
• 53:57
  ourselves authentically. But shouting from the rooftops,
• 54:00
  there's a better way. Come over here, please.
• 54:03
  I promise you, I just, I'm. Literally shouting.
• 54:10
  I literally go online and I shout so much.
• 54:14
  But I love that, though. I love that beautiful irony
• 54:16
  that's so great. And it really goes nicely into
• 54:19
  living out of your own expectations versus others.
• 54:22
  You traded that in. You decided you made a decision
• 54:27
  in 2020. Nope.
• 54:29
  I've lived off of this script of everybody else's expectations
• 54:34
  for more than 30 years. And this is where I'm at.
• 54:37
  I am not well and because I'm not well, not well for anything.
• 54:43
  Nothing in my life is well and I want to be well.
• 54:47
  And you made that flip. It's and it's such a powerful
• 54:51
  decision. Was there any at any time when
• 54:53
  you decided? I, I think for me, I got to a
• 54:56
  point like I've got nothing to lose here because I'm on the
• 54:59
  wrong trajectory. So I may as well give this a
• 55:02
  whirl. Who really is?
• 55:05
  That I had nothing to lose. Yeah.
• 55:08
  Yeah. I lost everything that I had
• 55:11
  thought was important at that point in time.
• 55:13
  I had lost my job and my money. And you can see I had a lot of
• 55:18
  skewed values. But.
• 55:19
  But really it was it was like, I don't have anything to lose.
• 55:23
  I have nothing. Yeah.
• 55:25
  And I think to the point for both of us is you don't have to
• 55:28
  get there get make these changes now.
• 55:31
  Don't go down the road and wait till you get to this hitting the
• 55:35
  brick wall point and lapping like a fat Yeah.
• 55:41
  I wish it happened sooner, I sure do.
• 55:45
  Yeah, I got there. And that's what's important.
• 55:47
  It's never too late, But yeah. But if you're not there, maybe
• 55:51
  think about it. And I would say if you're not
• 55:53
  ready, just open the door and look through it.
• 55:55
  You don't have to walk through it.
• 55:56
  Just take a peek. And check in with yourself like
• 56:01
  you know, I love going back to what you said earlier and check
• 56:05
  in with yourself where every day, every morning.
• 56:11
  When people say, how do you come up with your content?
• 56:13
  Where does it come from? I say I have to force myself to
• 56:15
  sit down and say, what's going on?
• 56:19
  Yeah, where are you? What's happening in there?
• 56:23
  And it's like, oh, here's where I'm at today.
• 56:26
  And then it's like, you know, it spirals into whatever I'm doing
• 56:30
  that day. But but it really is it's it's
• 56:33
  my favorite thing in the world. And I, I, I, we just don't do
• 56:36
  that. We don't sit down every day and
• 56:39
  say hey. What am I?
• 56:41
  Feeling. Right.
• 56:44
  Now, and, you know, we just go through our lives and, and, and
• 56:49
  do our tasks and do our things and it's like, hey, checking in
• 56:54
  with yourself could be a part of all that.
• 56:56
  Yeah. And not living so disassociated
• 56:59
  from ourselves because we, because if you don't value
• 57:02
  yourself, you don't prioritize yourself.
• 57:04
  You keep stuffing, stuffing, stuffing.
• 57:06
  And then all of a sudden there's this big explosion.
• 57:09
  It's because you kept stuffing and you weren't checking in with
• 57:12
  yourself. You weren't, you know, I tried
• 57:14
  to do like, I'll check in with myself each morning.
• 57:16
  I'm like, OK, I've got this on my calendar.
• 57:18
  How does that feel to me today? What do I need to do to prepare
• 57:21
  for that? Or does something need to be
• 57:22
  moved? Am I not right in?
• 57:24
  Oh my gosh. Do I need to move this your
• 57:27
  mind? Go ahead.
• 57:29
  I had our I had this scheduled on my calendar for tomorrow.
• 57:34
  And it was that like walking my brain through like the change
• 57:38
  and being like, OK, no, it's Anna.
• 57:41
  This is OK, this is fine. We can we can adjust.
• 57:47
  You know, it's just silly. But it's like, Oh my gosh, you
• 57:49
  know, when you just, you think something is one of these and
• 57:52
  then you're like, no, it's today.
• 57:56
  No, I know what that means. So, but I mean, I've learned to
• 57:59
  I used to feel like I can't move anything.
• 58:02
  These people are depending on me and it's like no, something yes,
• 58:05
  what no one's no one's life is going to completely come
• 58:09
  unhinged. If you test, you reach out to
• 58:13
  him and say this has come up or I'm not feeling well and I'm not
• 58:17
  talking like 5 minutes all the time, be a flake.
• 58:19
  But I'm talking about taking an honest assessment.
• 58:22
  Because if you can't show up well for them, that's not it's
• 58:26
  not good for you. You're asking to you're you're
• 58:28
  abandoning yourself, but you're also giving them half of you.
• 58:33
  So nobody wins in that. So be not being afraid.
• 58:36
  So sometimes when you're just really like, oof, my energy
• 58:40
  level, I have not been able to get myself here.
• 58:44
  Sometimes it's OK to pull back. And most of the time people are
• 58:47
  really thankful because they gives them permission to do the
• 58:50
  same. I have people had a few examples
• 58:53
  this last couple weeks where people had to move things and
• 58:56
  they're like, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
• 58:57
  I'm like you just OK, you had a major yes.
• 59:01
  Major thing. Happen in your life and these
• 59:03
  things happen, and I'm going to give you grace in that because
• 59:07
  guess what? That's life I like to be.
• 59:11
  Surrounded by people who are as excited when I say no as they
• 59:17
  are when I say yes, you know, yes.
• 59:22
  Like when? I say no, Oh yeah, good for you.
• 59:26
  And then also like, that's so brave of you to say yes, you
• 59:29
  know, proud of you for trying. I it's, I think it's good to
• 59:33
  have that. Yeah, absolutely.
• 59:38
  Because sometimes when you somebody reaches out to you and
• 59:41
  they have to say no, reschedule. Oh, that actually feels really
• 59:44
  good. I was feeling a little.
• 59:47
  Like I was getting. Close.
• 59:48
  This gives me some extra space to to to take a breath or go for
• 59:53
  a walk. I love that that is so true.
• 59:56
  Surround yourself with people that are that are not afraid of
• 59:59
  that and you can support each other and that as well.
• 1:00:02
  I love that so much, all right? Accepting the layered aspects of
• 1:00:06
  ourselves, all the parts and pieces of us, pieces of us.
• 1:00:10
  You have learned to do that really well, but you do it
• 1:00:13
  really honestly. You're not trying to hide
• 1:00:15
  anything. There's no secrets.
• 1:00:17
  So talk to me about that layers journey and really getting to
• 1:00:21
  the space you are today with that.
• 1:00:25
  Well, I'm a human, yeah. So.
• 1:00:28
  Just by default, you know, it is not a straight line.
• 1:00:32
  Nothing about existence is a straight line.
• 1:00:35
  It's always, and we have hormones and we have the weather
• 1:00:41
  and we have mental health issues.
• 1:00:44
  And I am never going to show up exactly the same each day.
• 1:00:48
  And I, I think it's important to make sure that I show up that
• 1:00:52
  way for other people to say, hey, like, I am having a really
• 1:00:57
  hard time right now and I'm dealing with it.
• 1:01:02
  I'm going to be OK. But this is what's happening.
• 1:01:07
  Just so you know, you know, it's, it's just kind of showing
• 1:01:12
  up and showing like, hey, like we all have all these parts.
• 1:01:16
  We have all the good parts and all the bad parts.
• 1:01:19
  And on your worst days, the best parts of you are still in there.
• 1:01:23
  They haven't gone anywhere. You know, I, I used to kind of
• 1:01:26
  catastrophize, like I'm never going to be who I was again.
• 1:01:30
  It's over like this and it's like, no, no, the best parts of
• 1:01:34
  you are still in there. All of the things you've
• 1:01:36
  accomplished are still in there. These are all pieces of you.
• 1:01:41
  And yeah, right now it's hard and it's going to take as long
• 1:01:43
  as it takes to dig out of whatever this is.
• 1:01:46
  But this winter has been kicking my butt hard.
• 1:01:51
  I don't know what it is. I I don't know if it was 'cause
• 1:01:54
  we had like 43 days without the sun in a row here.
• 1:01:59
  I just have been so low and, you know, that's hard when in
• 1:02:07
  general, I do show up online very enthusiastically to to have
• 1:02:12
  to show up for a month as the person who's like, yeah, so
• 1:02:17
  still here in this cloud. But, but I find the people who
• 1:02:25
  are going to appreciate it are going to appreciate all of it
• 1:02:27
  and. And I.
• 1:02:30
  I'm not gonna lie about it. I think the other thing,
• 1:02:33
  somebody asked me once, how do you, how do you do this?
• 1:02:36
  Like, how do you show up like that?
• 1:02:37
  Like, isn't it hard? Isn't it stressful?
• 1:02:40
  And I said, I created an entire community and an entire online
• 1:02:44
  existence based on being exactly who I am.
• 1:02:47
  So it's not, it's not that hard. It's hard in that it's hard to
• 1:02:54
  execute. You have to film and you have to
• 1:02:56
  record and it takes time and all of that.
• 1:02:58
  But, but being myself and showing up exactly where I'm at,
• 1:03:03
  that's that's the easiest decision I've ever made.
• 1:03:08
  Yeah. Because of exactly that, you're
• 1:03:11
  showing up. You're not putting on a mask or
• 1:03:13
  a face trying to impress anybody, trying to get
• 1:03:17
  affirmation from somebody else because you have accepted all
• 1:03:20
  your layers, you're comfortable in your own skin, you're good
• 1:03:23
  there, and that creates the space to be able to do that.
• 1:03:29
  Yeah. And it gives people like that
• 1:03:32
  permission to not always have to be on all the time and not
• 1:03:35
  always have to. Fake.
• 1:03:37
  It, it's like if you suck it up for your whole life, like
• 1:03:43
  that's, that's doing something to your nervous system, like
• 1:03:46
  that is I, I, I think it's, I think it's very strange to not
• 1:03:51
  acknowledge how you're doing and feeling and, and trying to power
• 1:03:55
  through it. It's like, I get having to do
• 1:03:58
  your job and, and in the places you do have to show up to, but
• 1:04:01
  in general it's like, why are you forcing that?
• 1:04:06
  Yeah, that's exhausting. I know because I did it.
• 1:04:08
  Yeah. And it shortens our.
• 1:04:10
  Lifespans, honestly, it really does be and it shortens and it
• 1:04:14
  changes the quality of our life. But you're also, but when people
• 1:04:17
  you're relatable. I mean that is you're the big
• 1:04:20
  draw is you're so relatable. And also, again, it goes back to
• 1:04:26
  this is not your intent. You're showing up as your
• 1:04:29
  authentic self, but it gives permission for other people to
• 1:04:32
  consider that too. There's like to consider being.
• 1:04:36
  Yourself. Yeah, exactly.
• 1:04:38
  Yeah, yeah. But we're.
• 1:04:39
  Told our entire lives that ourselves is wrong.
• 1:04:42
  It it the economy exists. On telling you you're wrong.
• 1:04:47
  Yeah. It's your clothes are wrong and
• 1:04:49
  your hair is wrong and your face is wrong.
• 1:04:50
  Your skin is wrong and. And it's all wrong.
• 1:04:54
  You got to fix it. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:04:56
  Like no. Wonder.
• 1:04:58
  No wonder we have a very hard time existing where we're at.
• 1:05:04
  Yeah. It's like, I'm having a bad day,
• 1:05:06
  so I'm going to take this supplement so I won't have a bad
• 1:05:08
  day. And it's like, or you could just
• 1:05:09
  have a bad day. I don't know.
• 1:05:11
  Well, yeah. That you know, and sit with the
• 1:05:15
  OK, I'm having a bad day. Is there anything I need to do
• 1:05:19
  to address it? How can I help myself?
• 1:05:21
  Or is it just a bad day? Is it just, I didn't get quite
• 1:05:25
  like sleep? I'm feeling a little off, you
• 1:05:28
  know, I think some you know also or just meeting, it goes back to
• 1:05:31
  that meeting yourself where you are.
• 1:05:35
  Yeah, here's where. I am, yeah.
• 1:05:38
  And saying that's. OK, and, and I have to talk
• 1:05:42
  myself out of stuff all the time, but like when I'm cleaning
• 1:05:46
  and, or, or anything, any project and I have very severe
• 1:05:53
  ADHD and I will catch myself beating myself up about the way
• 1:05:59
  I'm doing things. And I literally the entire time,
• 1:06:02
  if I'm cleaning, have to have to repeat the entire time.
• 1:06:05
  It all has to get done. It all has to get done.
• 1:06:08
  It all has to get done because I am getting frustrated and
• 1:06:12
  annoyed. Like why can't you just finish
• 1:06:14
  this task? Like why are you moving on to
• 1:06:16
  that task? And that one and that one, that
• 1:06:18
  one. It's like it all has to get
• 1:06:19
  done. It all has to get done.
• 1:06:20
  It all has to get done. And and but it is that meeting
• 1:06:24
  myself there, it's like, hey, it, it all has to get done.
• 1:06:28
  Like why are you yelling at yourself?
• 1:06:29
  Like, why are you, why are you calm down?
• 1:06:33
  Like the laundry has to be done and the dishes and the vacuuming
• 1:06:37
  and all of it. It doesn't matter if you jump
• 1:06:39
  around. It's it's OK.
• 1:06:41
  Yeah, but. It's that like?
• 1:06:43
  My mom used to get so mad at me when I was a kid.
• 1:06:45
  And that's just like, it never goes away.
• 1:06:47
  Like she's like, why can't you just do it?
• 1:06:49
  And you're like, I don't know. I don't know.
• 1:06:53
  Yeah. Yeah, I that I don't know,
• 1:06:55
  working with yourself. Yeah, meeting where so.
• 1:06:58
  Where we are. But yeah, we're constantly
• 1:07:00
  getting those, all these things you look on TV, social media,
• 1:07:03
  all the ads about all that's wrong with this all the time.
• 1:07:06
  And they play to those vulnerabilities to keep you in
• 1:07:09
  that space when it's like, Nope, not buying into that anymore.
• 1:07:13
  I'm done. Yeah, I yeah, it's like, OK,
• 1:07:18
  you're going to take this supplement, you're going to take
• 1:07:20
  this and and then you're going to finally be in a good mood all
• 1:07:23
  the time. And it's like, I don't, I don't
• 1:07:26
  what? Obviously take your meds,
• 1:07:29
  everybody. By the way, science is real.
• 1:07:33
  Better living through science. I just just don't think I need
• 1:07:37
  to take like a. A magic.
• 1:07:40
  Pill. Yeah, and we're just weight
• 1:07:43
  loss. Oh.
• 1:07:44
  Gosh, yeah, that's a whole. I did AI did a panel show on
• 1:07:48
  that a few weeks back with some friends of like all of the
• 1:07:53
  layers of issues with that and the and the and the marketing
• 1:07:56
  behind it and the thinking behind that and the being just
• 1:08:01
  be authentic to yourself. Move your body well in ways that
• 1:08:05
  feel authentic to you. Feel yourself in ways that feel
• 1:08:08
  healthy. Don't believe the lie.
• 1:08:10
  There's only one way to look and be Don't believe this defaults
• 1:08:14
  that everything in your world has to do with your weights,
• 1:08:20
  your heights, your whatever and BM is bullshit.
• 1:08:24
  So very least. Interesting thing about anybody?
• 1:08:28
  Yeah, it really is the things. That are.
• 1:08:31
  Interesting about me are everything else.
• 1:08:36
  I love that. But I'd love that you've gotten
• 1:08:38
  to that place, that that's where you live, and that is such a
• 1:08:41
  beautiful, authentic, healthy place to live.
• 1:08:45
  And so thank you for that. And thank you for the example
• 1:08:48
  you set and the boldness of putting it out there.
• 1:08:50
  And that is a gift. That is a gift to everyone.
• 1:08:54
  And most importantly, it's a gift to yourself.
• 1:08:58
  That's it. It's it's all for me.
• 1:09:03
  And but yeah, but it is in and the more you do it, the more
• 1:09:07
  normal it becomes. And I sat with somebody once and
• 1:09:11
  you just saw they're like jaw drop.
• 1:09:12
  The more I talked and the more I talked and I said, are you OK?
• 1:09:15
  And they're like, I've never heard anybody be this honest
• 1:09:18
  before. Said oh, I forgot.
• 1:09:22
  That's not like people aren't just out here living their life,
• 1:09:26
  like, yeah, yeah. Butts forward.
• 1:09:33
  Look. Nothing to hide.
• 1:09:35
  Yeah. And and the and again, the
• 1:09:37
  freedom that that brings. It really makes everything free,
• 1:09:41
  yes. Yeah, it really does.
• 1:09:44
  And what you're doing here, I mean, the acronym for this
• 1:09:47
  podcast is Feel, Finding Empowerment, Embracing Layers.
• 1:09:50
  You have done that with these conscious choices you have made
• 1:09:54
  for yourself. Talk to me.
• 1:09:57
  And we've addressed this some already.
• 1:09:59
  So this is kind of a recap of how this has impacted your
• 1:10:02
  relationship with yourself as well as your relationship with
• 1:10:06
  others. You've already talked about how
• 1:10:08
  you're showing up for yourself well, finally, and the
• 1:10:12
  relationships you have are showing up well for you.
• 1:10:15
  You're surrounding yourself with people now where you've got, you
• 1:10:19
  know, some non negotiables of like, I show up for me this way
• 1:10:23
  and I mean, and you need to show up for me this way.
• 1:10:25
  And if that doesn't work for you, well, that's OK.
• 1:10:28
  But there's not space for those kinds of that people that aren't
• 1:10:32
  showing up that want as well for me as I want for myself anymore.
• 1:10:38
  It's fiercely defending yourself the way you would defend a
• 1:10:41
  friend. Yeah, it's I always, it's always
• 1:10:46
  funny because I am, you know who I am and I am, I am a bit soft
• 1:10:51
  spoken in the real world and and all of this, but I but with my
• 1:10:54
  friends, I'm a bulldog. You know, I will.
• 1:10:58
  I don't stand for shit. I'm you can't.
• 1:11:02
  And I always laugh because my, I have one of my best friends.
• 1:11:06
  She's always like stand down and I'm like, but I'm like, I'm not
• 1:11:13
  gonna let anybody talk to you like that.
• 1:11:15
  Like what do you mean? And just but but it's acting
• 1:11:18
  that way for yourself too. And then I really do.
• 1:11:20
  It's like I will self correct myself too.
• 1:11:25
  Like I will say something about myself or think something about
• 1:11:28
  myself and be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, welcome back.
• 1:11:33
  And if anybody ever says things around me now, I really do
• 1:11:36
  correct when people say lazy, I say, whoa, what?
• 1:11:40
  Or, or anything. You know, I had my
• 1:11:42
  sister-in-law. She said I had a lazy day with
• 1:11:44
  the boys watching movies on the couch.
• 1:11:46
  And I said, you mean you spent quality time with your children,
• 1:11:49
  showed them it was OK to slow down.
• 1:11:52
  And I can't. Oh, no, yeah.
• 1:11:56
  Course correct. I love that course correction.
• 1:11:59
  Yeah, but. But.
• 1:11:59
  It was like, and I, I said, and you're spending quality time
• 1:12:02
  with your children, showing them it's OK to sit and, and relax
• 1:12:07
  and enjoy their lives. I was like, that's the least
• 1:12:09
  lazy thing I could imagine. You're, you're teaching lessons,
• 1:12:13
  you're spending quality time, you're building relationships.
• 1:12:16
  You're it's like we have got to. Redefine.
• 1:12:20
  These things that we get so hard on ourselves about and and I
• 1:12:24
  will always correct people in real time, people talking about
• 1:12:27
  their bodies. There's something wrong with
• 1:12:29
  them and it's like, hey, we don't talk about other people's
• 1:12:31
  bodies. We don't, you know, it's like we
• 1:12:33
  ought to. There's just so.
• 1:12:36
  It's it's good. I just I'm so comfortable being
• 1:12:45
  who I am. I'm the one thing I definitely
• 1:12:48
  struggle with is my is being comfortable in my skin.
• 1:12:50
  That's the hardest one for me, you know, and I wouldn't lie
• 1:12:54
  about that. You know, I still have like hate
• 1:12:56
  to enter a room and I am constantly thinking about people
• 1:12:59
  are looking at me, whatever it is, but.
• 1:13:02
  But when it comes. To who I am as a person, I'm
• 1:13:06
  very confident in that. Because it's that it's that very
• 1:13:11
  honesty there though, that is that makes you so relatable.
• 1:13:15
  Because it's like, I'm not saying I don't have problems
• 1:13:17
  here, folks. Don't, don't, don't, don't just
• 1:13:21
  don't misunderstand here. That's not the point.
• 1:13:24
  The point is how I will cancel a plan if my.
• 1:13:27
  Pants don't fit for sure. Don't get me wrong.
• 1:13:32
  I I'm a human being, Yeah. But I know that I should just
• 1:13:38
  say these pants don't fit me. I should buy pants that fit me.
• 1:13:42
  Yes. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:13:45
  Knowing and doing two different things.
• 1:13:47
  They are and. Continuing to do, I mean, so
• 1:13:50
  many times I talked about this all the time.
• 1:13:51
  I do this work because it keeps me in line.
• 1:13:55
  It keeps me accountable with myself to make sure I'm
• 1:13:58
  approaching myself in the healthiest way possible and
• 1:14:02
  helps me to course correct when my brain is trying to.
• 1:14:06
  You know, I had a similar experience this morning where I
• 1:14:08
  would said something about a body part of mine that what I'm
• 1:14:11
  like. No no no no, that thing is not
• 1:14:14
  stupid. It might be a little stubborn
• 1:14:16
  today in how it's showing up, but it is not stupid.
• 1:14:21
  Yeah, yeah, I saw my I saw I have two new stretch marks the
• 1:14:25
  other day and I was like, Anna, you're an adult.
• 1:14:28
  Yeah, your, your body gets bigger when you're an adult.
• 1:14:35
  You're not, you're just not 16. I don't know what to tell you.
• 1:14:39
  And then, like, right, right, right.
• 1:14:41
  Like my friend Debrey, she she says life's long bodies change.
• 1:14:46
  And it's like, oh, Yep, so true, Yeah.
• 1:14:51
  Absolutely so true. I mean, and in in realizing that
• 1:14:55
  and giving yourself grace within that and realizing the lack of
• 1:14:58
  reality. A friend of mine a few weeks
• 1:15:00
  ago, we were having a conversation about this.
• 1:15:02
  She's like the way we're supposed to show up in the
• 1:15:04
  world. It's like a moving target.
• 1:15:06
  Like it's not only this constant, like you're not
• 1:15:10
  enough, but also it's a moving target.
• 1:15:12
  It keeps changing and that's she's like, that's what it has
• 1:15:15
  to. Yes, exactly.
• 1:15:16
  Otherwise, otherwise, how would it be profitable?
• 1:15:19
  How would how would we there's? No money for everybody to
• 1:15:22
  continue. Yeah, yeah, no, I love what you
• 1:15:25
  said about like making this your life and your job and and not
• 1:15:30
  forcing yourself to learn and grow.
• 1:15:31
  But I say it all the time. I have to sit down every day and
• 1:15:36
  learn and grow and check in with myself because I have made that
• 1:15:41
  a priority. And I'm so glad I did because,
• 1:15:44
  you know, I, I have just changed my whole life and in a way
• 1:15:48
  that's so wonderful. And and I I become a better
• 1:15:55
  person every day to do that. Yeah, absolutely.
• 1:15:59
  Absolutely. So good.
• 1:16:00
  All right, we are winding down here.
• 1:16:03
  Name 5 activities that nourish you.
• 1:16:06
  Oh my gosh, sitting outside in the sun, that's like #1
• 1:16:11
  favorite, top favorite. I love playing like games, board
• 1:16:17
  games. I get.
• 1:16:19
  I just like. I feel like that.
• 1:16:22
  Nourishes me. It's like this thing that for a
• 1:16:26
  life of feeling like I wasn't being productive, like playing
• 1:16:29
  games is frivolous. And now it's like this, I, I set
• 1:16:35
  aside time like, Andy, will you play Monopoly with me, like get
• 1:16:39
  my husband to play with me or whatever.
• 1:16:40
  And it's like, I just, I want to do those things that are for
• 1:16:44
  nothing but joy, that are for nothing but but fun.
• 1:16:49
  Yeah. They don't have, they don't have
• 1:16:51
  an outcome. You know, it's like, I just want
• 1:16:53
  to, well, someone wins, which is great, but.
• 1:16:58
  Yeah, we don't make enough space for joy and fun.
• 1:17:03
  No, I know. I mean what nourishes me well,
• 1:17:07
  like fueling my body for sure. I always say something is better
• 1:17:13
  than nothing and it's something I have to tell myself all the
• 1:17:14
  time because I'm a very notorious skip three meals in a
• 1:17:22
  row person because I have some bad programming and it.
• 1:17:27
  And so every time I sit down or like I said before, made myself
• 1:17:30
  that sandwich. It was like a little gift to me
• 1:17:33
  and saying like, you deserve to have lunch.
• 1:17:37
  Like you get to have this beautiful meal that you made for
• 1:17:41
  yourself. You get to do that and, and, or
• 1:17:44
  make myself French toast or something.
• 1:17:46
  I'm like, that's so silly. What a waste of time.
• 1:17:49
  And it's like, no, that is not silly or a waste of time.
• 1:17:52
  That is so cute. Like wouldn't you think it was
• 1:17:55
  cute if somebody made you French toast?
• 1:17:58
  It's the same thing. So feeling my body weight.
• 1:18:01
  What are we sitting in the sun, eating, playing games, being
• 1:18:10
  home. Oh my gosh, being home.
• 1:18:13
  I love, you know, especially after I'm gone for a while or
• 1:18:17
  trips or working or doing shows or being on tour and coming home
• 1:18:21
  or just existing in my the space that I've created for myself is
• 1:18:25
  like just so rejuvenating and a fist one.
• 1:18:38
  I spend a lot of time online now.
• 1:18:45
  I think it's just, it's creating community and it's talking to
• 1:18:48
  the people around me and it's creating these spaces where
• 1:18:51
  we're getting, you know, I have a Pokémon Go Discord, I have, I
• 1:18:55
  think it's just creating community is such a nourishing
• 1:18:59
  thing to find these spaces where you fit in, to find these spaces
• 1:19:03
  where you have people to talk to and relate to and, and.
• 1:19:08
  And. And a place where you really fit
• 1:19:10
  in in the world. Yeah.
• 1:19:12
  Yeah, I love. That thank you so much. 5 words
• 1:19:15
  on how you want to feel the next six months.
• 1:19:19
  Oh, powerful, empowered. I really powerful, empowered,
• 1:19:32
  honest. Accomplished and authentic.
• 1:19:46
  OK. All right, I love that.
• 1:19:48
  All right, Anna, this is all going to be on our resources
• 1:19:51
  page on our website, but tell people where they can find you,
• 1:19:54
  follow you, see you. If you're on tour, you've got a
• 1:19:58
  book you've got. There's a TikTok following,
• 1:20:02
  you've got a website, you're a comedian.
• 1:20:04
  You've got so many. Really great things going on.
• 1:20:07
  So share that with us. And again, I know I have.
• 1:20:10
  I know it's fine. Yes, my.
• 1:20:14
  Website is a KPRZ y.com and that has like everything on it.
• 1:20:19
  But I'm also at a KPRZY on Instagram, YouTube, Facebook,
• 1:20:25
  TikTok, threads, blue sky, red note, any app that exists,
• 1:20:31
  Snapchat, Clapper, lemonade. I have every app in the world.
• 1:20:39
  I am at a KPRZY everywhere. What else?
• 1:20:44
  I have a book, you can find that on my website.
• 1:20:47
  It has a link to signed copies and then like Amazon copies
• 1:20:51
  because I know sometimes you have a gift card or whatever it
• 1:20:53
  is. I am on tour in March.
• 1:20:57
  I don't know if this comes out mid March.
• 1:20:59
  So March 23rd I'll be in Nashville.
• 1:21:02
  That will be my birthday show, which is awesome.
• 1:21:06
  I'm obviously tickets in my bio. I have two trips coming up.
• 1:21:10
  People want to travel with me. It's so fun.
• 1:21:14
  We're going to Germany and Austria in December of 2025 and
• 1:21:18
  Iceland in January of 2026. So it's so fun.
• 1:21:25
  That's that's what that's kind of where I got that line about
• 1:21:28
  people who are just excited for you to say yes, as they are when
• 1:21:31
  you say no. I love these trips because it's
• 1:21:34
  like people who want you to honor your boundaries and
• 1:21:38
  nobody's going to like pressure you or it's like, I don't want
• 1:21:41
  to go horseback riding. Cool.
• 1:21:43
  That's awesome. Like have fun at the pool or
• 1:21:45
  whatever it is, you know? And so yeah.
• 1:21:49
  And that's, I think that's everything right now.
• 1:21:52
  OK all. Right, Oh my gosh, amazing.
• 1:21:54
  And again, that'll all be on our website, everybody.
• 1:21:56
  So go to ourresourcespage@embracinglayers.com.
• 1:22:00
  And I thank you for this time today.
• 1:22:02
  Thank you for how you show up in the world as you just full
• 1:22:05
  authentic self and and for sharing that with others.
• 1:22:10
  But the way you do it, it's like, this is for me, this is
• 1:22:13
  healthy. For me.
• 1:22:15
  I'll step away at any time if it stops being healthy for me, but
• 1:22:19
  this is healthy for me and I'm inviting you to come along with
• 1:22:23
  me on this ride because it's possible.
• 1:22:26
  Yes, thanks for. Having me this.
• 1:22:29
  Was amazing. Good, good.
• 1:22:32
  I'm so glad to hear that. I've been so excited for this
• 1:22:34
  conversation, folks. Your take away this week is
• 1:22:38
  become the voice in your own head.
• 1:22:41
  Your voice. The voice replace all those
• 1:22:44
  other voices, all those other narratives with your own
• 1:22:48
  authentic voice You think it's going to take some time to
• 1:22:52
  practice Anna can be your voice. I can be your voice until you
• 1:22:56
  get there, but go really check in with yourself and.
• 1:23:01
  Be the voice in. Your own head.
• 1:23:03
  And that is, that's my take away this week.
• 1:23:07
  Again, Anna, thanks so much for joining me.
• 1:23:09
  I appreciate how you show up in the world so much.
• 1:23:12
  We've, we've got to get more people on this train doing this.
• 1:23:17
  It's how we change areas. We're, we're doing our part.
• 1:23:20
  We are doing our part. We absolutely aren't.
• 1:23:23
  Folks, take good care of yourselves this week.
• 1:23:25
  Check in with yourself, be the voice in your head and have a
• 1:23:29
  great week. Hello, Melissa.
• 1:23:35
  Crook here. Thank you so much for joining us
• 1:23:38
  on the field podcast today. Finding empowerment, Embracing
• 1:23:42
  Layers. I hope you found today's
• 1:23:45
  framework and resources supportive and informative.
• 1:23:49
  To learn more about all that we offer here at the Embracing
• 1:23:52
  Layers network, visit embracinglayers.com.
• 1:23:56
  You can go to our contact form to schedule me as a speaker for
• 1:24:01
  your next conference, workshop or seminar.
• 1:24:04
  You can go to our book page to order our book, The Jessica
• 1:24:07
  Garrison, our wonderful and talented writer and author
• 1:24:11
  authored with my support and engage with this framework in
• 1:24:16
  written form with your journal or in a book club with other
• 1:24:19
  women inviting them on this journey with you.
• 1:24:22
  You can look at our resources page for all of the helpful and
• 1:24:26
  insightful resources our guests offer and share.
• 1:24:29
  You can find the schedule for our weekly Together We Feel
• 1:24:33
  Women's panel conversations that we're holding each Monday on our
• 1:24:37
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• 1:24:41
  and places. You can then follow engage with
• 1:24:44
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• 1:24:49
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• 1:24:53
  where you can donate to support our work to ensure we can
• 1:24:56
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• 1:25:01
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• 1:25:04
  week. Share with your friends and give
• 1:25:06
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• 1:25:09
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• 1:25:13
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• 1:25:17
  Layers journey. Take good care and thanks for
• 1:25:21
  giving us some of your valuable time today.
• 1:25:23
  We truly appreciate you so deeply.