Latest / Doing Marriage Well / Broken Behaviours: Tolerating Bad Treatment Isn’t Loving
Transcript
- 0:00Doing Marriage Well for June 8, 2026 Broken Behaviors Tolerating Bad Treatment
- 0:06Isn't Loving I really liked the image I made for last Wednesday's post.
- 0:10It showed a man walking out of the room because his wife would say ugly things to or about him.
- 0:16The man is making a good choice. He is choosing not to subject himself to behavior
- 0:20that is unloving at best and possibly abusive.
- 0:23He doesn't challenge what his wife is doing or start a fight. He just leaves.
- 0:28Doing this regularly would teach his wife that he will not tolerate such behavior.
- 0:32I imagine, because of the wife's reaction by saying, hey, I'm not done telling
- 0:36you why you're stupid, that the man is doing something different than usual.
- 0:40He has typically taken her verbal assault. Now he is doing something new.
- 0:44He had a broken behavior, which he is replacing with a healthier choice.
- 0:48So this week, let's talk about broken behaviors and how we stop doing them.
- 0:53A broken behavior is more than something that doesn't work.
- 0:56It's accepting something we should not accept. It's putting up with something you don't deserve.
- 1:01It's allowing your spouse to treat you badly and just taking it.
- 1:05Some of these broken behaviors are things we learned in childhood.
- 1:08Either we had to accept being treated badly because we had no choice,
- 1:12or we watched one of our parents do it to the other and learned that's how it's done.
- 1:16Other broken behaviors develop as the marriage progresses. Usually they are
- 1:20minor at first, slowly getting worse and worse.
- 1:23Please notice that I am saying the victim in these circumstances is the one
- 1:27with the broken behavior.
- 1:29Obviously, their spouse is
- 1:30acting badly, but the issue we are examining is their acceptance of that.
- 1:35Allowing wrong treatment without a word is on you. It's your broken behavior,
- 1:39and that means you have the power to choose to end it, to stop putting up with what your spouse does.
- 1:44One way to do that, as shown in the image, is to walk away.
- 1:48Decide you will not be treated that way and will leave when it starts.
- 1:51This is Paul, and ignoring bad behavior is not doing marriage well.