Latest / Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot / Making Moves Monday BUILT FOR THIS 1/7: When Stress Is a Signal, Not a Stop Sign

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Making Moves Monday BUILT FOR THIS 1/7: When Stress Is a Signal, Not a Stop Sign · Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot

• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Greetings.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: Greetings and welcome.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the sweet spot.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: You're listening to Dr.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Derek Sweet here.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host on The Sweet Spot and I'm into this week.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: This is a great week because we're alive, we're well, we're here together.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna talk about a great series we have planned for you this week here on The Sweet Spot.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's making moves Monday, y'all.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Blessings to you.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: Blessings to you.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: You've made it.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's a new week.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: We're in it.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: And this week, this week, we have a new topic.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: You know what the topic is?
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's called Built for This.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: That's right.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: You're built for this.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: And we're gonna spend some time talking about why and how you were fearfully and wonderfully made from on high to handle what's happening down below.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: We are on Earth in a horizontal issue.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, we are horizontally aligned, but there's a vertical power pouring down, just pouring down on us and guiding us, and we're gonna tap into that.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this is not a religious or spiritual talk, but we are pulling from some of those important unseen forces that guide who we are.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: So you're built for this, dear friend, beautiful souls.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's Monday.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what you're facing or what you're dealing with or what you have ahead of you, but I want to remind you that you're built for this.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: So let me slow down and talk about this for a minute.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: When stress shows up in our lives, what do we assume it means?
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: When you feel stress, you already have an interpretation of what that means.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: And that interpretation is going to determine how you respond, what's ahead, what goes on.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: It may even determine how your body feels, all of that.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: Most people don't even realize that they're making an assumption.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: They feel the tension, they worry, they feel the tightness, and they immediately conclude something must be wrong with me.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: Or worse, maybe I'm not built for this.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: But I want to challenge that idea today on making moves Monday.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: I really want to challenge it.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: I worked with a tennis player who came in convinced that she was slipping.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: That's the word she told me.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: That's the exact word.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: She was like, Doc, I'm slipping.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: Her matches were feeling tighter.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: The travel that she had to do was really wearing on her a lot more.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: So the mistakes she was making didn't roll off her back the way they used to.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: She said she was holding on to mistakes, it was affecting her game.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: And she concluded, I don't think I can handle this level anymore.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: She was ready to think about hanging it up.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: But here's what was actually happening.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: She had just moved into some tougher drawers.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: Her expectations were higher.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: The opponents were getting better, they were actually sharper.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: She didn't tell me that, but I knew that.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: And she was feeling that pressure.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: And her body and her mind were responding to that reality.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the thing: nothing was broken.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: Her system was just reacting to the increased demand that she was facing.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: So once we sorted it out, the work wasn't about getting rid of the stress.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's not it.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: It was about learning how to work with the stress she was facing.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: The first thing was that we adjusted her travel schedule, we cleaned up her recovery, secondly, and then we tightened her pre-match routine, needed some adjustment.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: Simple things around her needed to be adjusted.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: I had to help her understand which nerves mattered and which ones she could let go.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we focus on everything as a stress when maybe only one or two things should be stressing us.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: And you know what happened with this tennis player over time?
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: She didn't just feel calmer, she felt steadier, more grounded, more herself again over time.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm sharing that with you because it's important.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's important because stress often shows up before we can grow enough to match the stress.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: It just sort of comes at us.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: It shows up before growth can catch up with it.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: So here's the first thing I want us to take from this today.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: Why did I share that story?
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: Because she interpreted the stress that she was feeling as doom.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: Doomsday.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, this is the end of the world.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, I must be slipping, I'm getting older, I'm not good enough.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, everybody else else looking at me like I'm not good enough.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: So she had a doomsday interpretation of the stress she was taking in.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: The stress never said doom, she just interpreted it as doom.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: But what stress really is for all of us is data.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's not doom.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: Stress is data, not doom.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: And here's what I mean when I say that.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: Stress is information, it's your system saying, hey, pay attention to this.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: Something important's going on here.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: That's all stress is trying to tell us.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's just signaling something to us.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: If we take a high view of it, it does not automatically mean danger, which is what we've been conditioned to respond.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: It does not automatically mean you're failing.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: Because you're feeling it.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: It usually means that the stakes have gone up, things are really heating up, and the stakes are high.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: And the risk is to interpret that as something is wrong.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: So instead of asking what we do in coaching, right, with athletes, with high-level performers, stage performers, students as well, we ask you to sort of change your questioning.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of asking what's wrong with me, try asking something simpler and more human.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what's the stress?
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: What's this stress trying to tell me right now?
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: What is this stress trying to show me right now?
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: What is the signal here?
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: Believe me, dear friend, that question alone will change the tone of the conversation you're having with yourself.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: And we're always in a conversation with ourselves, right?
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: We're always like talking to ourselves.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: What I'm asking you to do is just change the question.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you change the question from what's wrong with me to what is the stress trying to tell me, it literally changes and opens up pathways for you that might not be available.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: You're answering a different kind of question, and that changes the reality.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: You know, the author James Clare, Atomic Habits, that book, it's a great book.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: He said that every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: Great line in that book, right?
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: So here's why that matters for us on making moves Monday here on the sweet spot.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: Stressful moments are often the moments when that vote really counts, right?
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: That whatever action we're gonna take really counts.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: You don't become stronger on the easy days, you become stronger in the moments where you could pull away, run away, you can zone out, spaz out, you can numb out, you can quit, but you didn't.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: You didn't quit, you didn't spaz.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, you stayed present and you made your move.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, that's what making moves Monday is really about.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: Not about anything dramatic, not about fixing every single thing that comes right away, but choosing how you respond when the pressure and the stress show up.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: That's it, that single choice, changing the question, understanding the signal, seeing what's coming, and then making a decision.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, here on the sweet spot, we are about science, soul, and success.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna drop some ancient wisdom on you right now.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: It'll be quick.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: In the ancient wisdom message Bible, R-I-K-J V people, don't get mad.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: Ancient wisdom has been pointing to this idea of what you can get if you hang in there with your stress and your pressure.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: They've been doing this forever.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: Love the ancient wisdom.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: Romans, the book of Romans, uh, I think it's Romans 5.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: It says, look, suffering produces perseverance, and perseverance, character, and hope come out of suffering.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: Now, here's the thing.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: The point I'm making is not that suffering is good.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because I don't know about you, but I don't like to suffer.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's not my thing.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: The point that I think they're making in the ancient wisdom that we can distill from for us today is that pressure forms something inside of us when we don't run from it.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: It can shape us, it can reveal something that's in us that's valuable, we can become stronger.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: It says here that character is developed from the suffering and the pressure, and and really perseverance right is coming out of the suffering.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: If you look at the ancient wisdom, it says it produces perseverance from the stress when we don't give up, and that helps our character, and from that our hope comes because we see the strength, and that's the point that you're growing and I'm growing stronger from the pressure if we allow it to shape us and we don't run from it, and our character changes.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: Very simple, but very effective because we need to take control of things now and not just let stress have us running all uh crazy and stressed out without any plan.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: This is clear what we have to do.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: Read the signal, change the question, determine what it's trying to tell us, understand that I'm growing in the middle of whatever is happening here, I'm stronger and I'm built to handle it.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: Here's a simple check you can do today.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: Let's not overthink this.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: Let's not even overthink it.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: Ask yourself these questions to know that you're built for it.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, am I still showing up even in the messy situation?
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: Am I still showing up?
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: Number two, am I still trying to learn something here?
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: Am I still open to learning what I could how I could be better?
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: Am I growing in that?
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever I'm dealing with.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: And number three, am I still adjusting instead of just avoiding?
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: Am I showing up?
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: Am I trying to learn?
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: And am I adjusting?
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: If you answered yes to even one of these, you know what that tells me?
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: It tells me you're not weak.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: It tells me you're in this.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why I keep saying you gotta engage the stress.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: Don't run away, don't back down, engage it.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: Not because stress is fun, not because you should push harder just for the sake of pushing.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's not what I'm talking about.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: But because you, because when you engage instead of retreating and running, your system, your nervous system, your your entire system learns, huh, I can handle this.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: That's how confidence is built, not by waiting for fear to disappear, but by moving while it's still there, by taking your action, by making your move.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: And athletes and stage performers, law enforcement officers that I've worked with, uh, folks in mission doctors, lawyers, a lot of folks in mission critical and mission-sensitive positions, they understand this instinctively.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: You don't wait for training to feel comfortable before you show up.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: You show up so you can be trained, so your body and mind can learn that it can handle more, it can carry more.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: That's how this works.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the encouragement I really want you to hear today.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's making moves Monday.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: If you were truly not built for this moment, my friend, you wouldn't care this much.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: You wouldn't be listening right now.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: You would have been already off on something else.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: You wouldn't be thinking, you wouldn't be reflecting, you wouldn't be questioning, you wouldn't be trying to grow, trying to figure it out, you wouldn't be spending the time, you'd be avoiding it, you'd be running away, you'd be in some distracted habit right now, but you're not.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: Congratulations.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: The fact that you're here tells me something about you.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: You have a history, you have figured things out before, you've gotten through moments you once thought you couldn't, and that's really cool.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: You know what happens to most of us?
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: We forget all the trials and tribulations and the various things we have conquered in life.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: All the battles that we have fought and we came through.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: Thank God we came through them through many dangers, toils, and snares.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: I have already come.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: You could say it because it's true.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: And we forget those things when a new stress pops up, a new demon shows up, a new what if monster shows up, and we forget, but we need to remember that.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: And the other part about this is like, alright, so on those times when you couldn't handle it, guess what?
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: You ask for help.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: That's a sign of strength.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: And by the way, if you're going through something now and you need support, seeking help is never a failure.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's part of how resilient people and smart people stay smart and resilient.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: Alright now, so let's make a move for today.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: Your first move doesn't even have to be external, it can be internal.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: Take a breath in through the nose and then slowly out through the mouth.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: Always let your exhale be longer than your inhale and slow it down for a second.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_00: For some of us, this is gonna be the only deep breath you take for the week, so I want you to do it.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: Trust me, alright?
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: Take the deep breath here and reset the story you're telling yourself about stress.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: When you take that deep breath, you communicate to your nervous system that it's gonna be okay.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: Then you reset the story you're telling yourself.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: What is the story I'm telling myself about this situation I'm in?
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: And then replace this idea that something is wrong with the idea that something important is happening, and my nervous system is signaling this to me, and I'm gonna handle it.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: Then take one small step to whatever it is you've been pulling away from, whatever it is that you're dealing with, whatever you're confronting, not to conquer it, just to stay in the game with it.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you have to embrace it, you have to grapple with it.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: I work with a lot of wrestlers and they talk about grappling and embracing and holding on and wrestling with things.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: You're stronger than you think, you're more capable than you feel, and you're more prepared than your fear wants you to believe.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: You're stronger than you think, more capable than you feel, and more prepared than your fear wants you to believe, my friend.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: Let that message settle in.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: And let's start this week grounded, steady, moving forward together.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: I believe in you.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: You're built for this.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: We're built for this.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: Bring it.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: Let's go.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: Alright now, it's Mickey Moose Monday here on the sweet spot.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: You're listening to Dr.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: Derek Sweet, stay amazing.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: Please subscribe.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: This is completely free.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: There's no hidden charge here.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: And if you know a friend who could use this message, who might be motivated just by hearing the idea that they can do this, that they're built for this, send it to them.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'll see you tomorrow.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna be diving into Take Action Tuesday.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_00: Take care.