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How One Woman Turned Two Decades of Anxiety and Depression Into a Mission to Break Stigma · Voices For Suicide Prevention

• 0:04
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome everyone to this episode of Voices for Suicide Prevention.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_02: As we like to say, our conversations here are real talk, real honest, real life.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_02: I'm Scott Light.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm Stephanie Booker.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_01: Today's conversation is one that I've really been looking forward to.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_01: Our guest is someone who wears many hats, and she wears them so well.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: She's a radio personality with WNCI and iHeartRadio here at Columbus and across Ohio.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_01: She is a community event host and ambassador for the OSPF family, and she creates some wonderful mental health positive content for us across the OSPF social channels.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_01: Soul Sanus, we are so excited to have you here with us today.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much, Stephanie and Scott.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: This is truly such an honor.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for the platform today.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_02: Why don't we start by going back just a little bit here, Soul?
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_02: Because your passion for mental health advocacy, this is something for you that that did not just appear overnight.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_02: Tell us more.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're absolutely right.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: So I've been on my mental health journey for almost 20 years now.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm 33, started about when I was 14, really started feeling these, these weird feelings of not feeling 100%, right?
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: Feeling depressed, anxious.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I was uh a child of two immigrants.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: That was a little bit hard as well growing up, trying to fit in.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, there were a lot of pieces and parts that kind of contributed to me feeling depressed.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: So I think between the ages of 14 and 22, those were my really, really dark times.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: And then I kind of like to think about 22 to 33 being being like the healing era when I finally not embraced it, but accepted, okay, I do have some mental health um issues.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: I do have some things that are holding me back in life, and now I'm going to hold myself accountable and get out of this.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_01: I was wondering growing up, you you mentioned that your parents are are immigrants.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: Was mental health something that was talked about among family and in your community?
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it was a challenging aspect in general because having parents that are both immigrants, they have given up everything to come to the US.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um and so I think it's a little bit more challenging for immigrant parents to understand mental health disorders because they think, hey, I took you out of this country that was not your in your best interest.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: I brought you to the US.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: I sacrificed so much for an education so you can have a roof on your head, so you can have food, so you can have a normal life.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: What do you mean you're depressed?
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it didn't, it didn't land well.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like it just was kind of like, how could you be?
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: What about all these people in the third world country that, you know, I was born in?
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: They have a reason to be depressed.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: You don't.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so that was kind of the mentality.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: And also, you know, 20 years ago, the stigma was very high.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so it was kind of challenging and confusing as well for my parents.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: But I will say my mom um was, even though she didn't understand 100% what was going on, she was very compassionate.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and you could just see her love, like her love was the driver of trying to get me the help that I needed.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: So she was taking me to therapy, taking me to all these doctors.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: And it was very overwhelming for me at the age of 14 because I was resisting it as well.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I didn't want to be that kid that was going to go get medicated or go to therapy or couldn't do certain things because I might be triggered.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so it was really hard for me.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: But um, I think it was a learning curve for my parents.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: And then eventually um they became all in because when you love someone, you you do figure out how to help them.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_02: You want them to be happy and healthy.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_02: Let's go back to when you just mentioned you when you were 14.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_02: Was there soul, was there a seminal moment?
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_02: Was there something that happened in your life where you thought, okay, I need some help here?
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: I was in the middle of high school, and that is a pretty challenging time.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's either a great time or a challenging time.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if there's anything in the middle.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I was in my first real relationship.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: I was in love for the first time, had a lot of um abusive issues with that relationship.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: And also just, you know, I was depressed.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: I I was having just uh just starting to downward spiral into a very dark time.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I just felt so alone.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't really feel like it was me that that wanted to change at that point.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: It was really my my mom that kind of was like grabbed me by the hand and was like, we are not gonna go down this hole.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna help you.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um I don't think it was really later on until my early 20s that I was in the darkest point of my life.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: I remember I was living alone.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I was in college and I didn't even want to be living with a group of girls.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to be by myself.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: I was very much kind of a loner.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I remember just feeling at my lowest and crying to myself on the ground and being like, no one's coming.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't mean that in a way of like, I didn't have any support, but I found that, oh my gosh, if I want to change, I'm the one that has to do it.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: Because you can have all the support, you can have all the tools, you can have your therapist, but if you're not a hundred percent in it, it's just like going to the gym.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't work out that muscle every day, not every day, but if you don't work it out consistently, you're not gonna be able to see the change that you want.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_02: My wife and I say uh frequently, and we've shared this uh uh descriptor, I guess if you want to call it, if you will, but um you know, when you're at a bottom and we say in the in the fetal position, sometimes that's that's when the motivation hits.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: You're so right.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it does.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_02: And that's okay.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Just like they say, sometimes it takes getting to rock bottom.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: And you just say to yourself, I don't want to live like this anymore.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: Because to your point, it was kind of just this cycle for years and years of just like not really coming out of it.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I was just like, I don't want to live like this anymore.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: With still having these bursts of like knowing how good life was, though, and just thinking, like, I want to get to that point, I want to enjoy life.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: We're we are only on this planet for such a little amount of time.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: Why am I feeling so bad all the time?
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I was just so frustrated, and also just seeing like there's always gonna be people who have more than you, and there's always gonna be people who have less than you.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um so just do you and care about yourself.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: So, how then were you able to get past that that dark time, the lowest of the points that you had had in your, you know, when you were in college and in your 20s?
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_01: How did you get through that?
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: So I did take some medication just for a little bit to help with some depression issues.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, as soon as I started to get a little bit regulated with that, um, I was really lucky that I have had therapy available to me.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: So I did that for a little bit in college.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: I've just, you know, the good thing about therapy is you can kind of start and stop as needed.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: But the big thing is I really had to start cleaning up my life and choosing who I was gonna be hanging out with a little bit better, making better choices, um, and taking a step back maybe from trying to see things from a bird's eye view and and just realizing that you know I had to be the one to to make the change.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_02: I started my therapy journey in college as well.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_02: And it's followed me and through my whole adult life.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_02: And I can remember that first time in college, and I can remember, you know, starting and and and restarting therapy as an adult.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_02: That that first one can be tough.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: It really can.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: And it's it's great that you say that because I don't want people to be discouraged when they go to therapy and they they meet with a therapist and they say, Oh my gosh, like I I can't do this, you know.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: And that was the problem when I was younger.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: I never had a therapist that I really connected with.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: I always felt judged or it just wasn't the right fit.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's why I resisted so much.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: Then to your point, I started again in college because I felt myself slipping again.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I got connected with a great therapist, and then, you know, you graduate, you move, took a break from that.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then, you know, I think it was seven years later, I started therapy again.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and it truly is is such a good way to have a bird's eye view from someone detached to your life.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_01: So at what point during your personal experience with the mental health did you then shift into a passion for for advocacy prevention and and really talking about how we need to break the stigma?
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: When I I think the moment was when I realized that there was a way out of this, and when I started to feel myself gaining some traction and seeing some change.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I really wanted to be able to show people that they can also change their life and they can also turn things around.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: And there were times when I truly felt like nothing was gonna ever happen with my life.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and when I started slowly, inch by inch getting better, um, I thought, wow, if I can do this, anybody can.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: And it just kind of snowballed into this effect of me sharing my journey because I was hoping that it could normalize things for people.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_02: A term that's being talked about a lot these days, which is great, and that is self-care.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_02: So let's go back to maybe when it wasn't defined like that, but it was still that that process.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_02: Did did it hit you, soul, uh, again a few years back where you're like, you know what, this is taking care of me, and this is not a selfish thing.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_02: This is the healthy thing for me to do.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, and I think we still struggle with that.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, people think that self-care is selfish, and I, you know, I try to be the self-care queen, and I even see it sometimes.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: I think it comes off as selfish.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's still not as normalized as it needs to be.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like, especially with people that, you know, are so busy and they have kids and they're working and and they just feel like it's selfish to go and take an hour to dip in the bath and read a book and journal.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but you can't fill your cup if if yours is not full.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: And um self-care truly is the best thing that you can do for yourself.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_01: What do you like to do?
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I know some people who follow OSPF on social media are gonna know some of these answers already.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_01: What do you like to do to help take care of yourself?
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and thanks, Stephanie, to your point.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: I I do love making content on some of these fun activities that are relaxing, but also I've noticed that help boost my mental health.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it can look like so many different things for me.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: It kind of depends what in that moment that I need.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: If I need to de-stress, then I need to do some type of movement because that's some stagnant energy built up.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: I need to get that out.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um, if I am feeling anxious or burnt out or feeling like I just am not grounded, I will immediately do a gratitude list to kind of just reel myself back in.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because I tend to forget about all the accomplishments.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: I tend to just jump to the next, the next, the next, um, without actually registering all of the fun and accomplishments that we've done.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: I know I'm not the only one.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're listening, you're like, that's me.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm calling us all out right now on that.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, the other thing is scheduling me time.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: That that that goes back to the self-care that, you know, sometimes comes off as selfish, but I will look at my schedule that I have for the month and I will find a couple things that I know I love to do, and I'll just schedule those in.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: So, like this month, I wanted to go to the spa and I wanted to go skiing, and I have a crazy month.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: But, you know, in the beginning of that, I was like, these are the two things that I want to do this month that I know will keep me motivated through all the good and the bad that comes my way.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um and also, you might not expect this, but mental wellness and self-care is boundaries.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: And for the longest time, starting off in my career, boundaries didn't even seem like a fair thing because I just wanted to be successful.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: And then you finally get to the point where you have a foundation and you're like, whoa, now I can have the next level, which is boundaries.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: So um, you know, and and that takes work.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: So don't be hard on yourself if you feel like you're behind on that.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_02: I always think about self-care too.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_02: And and and again, some people are like, oh, who's Mr.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_02: Fancy Pants going to yoga at noon, you know, on a Wednesday?
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_02: Right, right, right.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_02: But here's the thing we now know this is this is data, this is medical data.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_02: If you are moving your brain, if you are moving your body, if you have a community of family and friends and you feel rooted and you feel some security there, the data says, and it is unequivocal, that we will live longer, wow, healthier lives.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_02: So that to me, again, self-care is not selfish because it is rooted in data that we'll live, we'll live better lives.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: As they say, no is a complete sentence.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: I love that, Stephanie.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm trying to say that word more.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's hard.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's hard.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: I know, I know.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_01: Well, we're glad that you haven't said no to being one of our ambassadors.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, it's it's seriously one of the honors of my life.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you so much.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: To be able to partner up with an organization that does so much is just incredible.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_01: Why do you want to continue to do this role?
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_01: What does this mean for you?
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: I think in a way, it's part of the mission of breaking the stigma, um, which was, I think, the root of one of the biggest issues for me.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like we talked about, you know, discovering or feeling mental health issues, depression, anxiety at 14, and it not being normalized and it having such a stigma.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, it did, it did make me passionate about breaking that.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I think the more that I can make content, the more that I can normalize this for people, the more that it can help people either say, oh wow, I have been stuffing this down, I've been suppressing this.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: Or two, like, oh my gosh, thank you.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for talking about this.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: And three, to also have some kind of educational aspect to your scroll time.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: If you're gonna sit there and inhale or, you know, um ingest all of this, you know, like reality TV-esque content.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, let's add in some some cool tips that can actually help your everyday because we all struggle.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: People who say that they don't, maybe they're just not aware.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_02: Let's talk about scroll time just a little bit because um Stephanie and I, Stephanie and I can remember when there wasn't social media around.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_02: So, okay, all right, that's good, that's good.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so so with all of your content that's out there, you're omnipresent when it comes to social.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_02: I want to ask you a broad question about that, because when you're talking to not just young people, but anybody, and they're like, listen, I'm I'm scrolling on social media and I just don't measure up.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_02: I that is and that's such a pervasive thought.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_02: What do you say to people who who think that?
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_02: Because social, as great as it can be, boy, it can it can really be a it can really be dangerous.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean, ugh, it's nobody's immune to that.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I think a couple things on that.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: I think one, social media is a highlight reel.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: I think we are all guilty of that, um, and myself included.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's uncomfortable to talk about things that are difficult in your life, and for that reason, we want to just share the good.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: I think that can be damaging.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, in my life, I I don't want to go on and share the bad, but I think just being a little bit more real.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's where I try to meet with the OSPF content that I make, to not just get on the internet and say, oh my God, I'm this, I'm that, I'm depressed, I'm anxious, but just say, like, hey, if you're feeling this, this is, you know, what you can do.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um the other thing is I love the quote.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: Comparison is a thief of joy.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I think that's one of the things that I try to like use as a mantra for myself.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um, being in the radio industry, I have this observation that I've noticed.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'll have an I'll have an artist in, for example, let's say Jessie Murph.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: She was in a couple months ago before she got really big, right?
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_00: And so she's coming in.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_00: I'm all nervous because I'm interviewing someone that I love and I know she's up and coming, and she's super, you know, she was getting famous.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: In her eyes, in her chair that she's sitting in, she's just getting started.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: She's just a small fish in a big pond.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's like we're always gonna be the smaller fish if you keep comparing, comparing, comparing.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: But some people could have worked their whole life just to be in Jesse's seat or just to be on my seat in my seat.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I think that the more we compare ourselves, it is truly the most slippery slope that you can you can get on.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_01: How authentic?
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_01: You talked about you don't want to obviously talk all negative and and that kind of thing, but how authentic do you try to be related to the posts that you're doing?
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_00: I try to find things that I'm currently navigating through.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then I I try to make content on that.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: So authentic things that I'm going through.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, seasonal depression was um one that we recently made a post about to kind of give tips on that.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, back to the phone, making tips on on how to decrease your your time on the phone or when to not have your phone with you, just just different things that I've noticed that are things I need to work on.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, if I'm struggling with this, I'm sure somebody else is too.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_02: So, what would you say to someone if they're on the fence about therapy?
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_02: What's your advice to them?
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_02: What would you say to them?
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: I would say that a therapist is one of the best assets you can have in your life, even if you are not in crisis.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: I love therapy.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: There are days where I'm going in and it feels like a gab sesh, right?
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_00: And there are days where I'm in there and I'm fully, you know, bawling my eyes out and we're we're getting to work on some serious stuff.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_00: I love therapy because it is a bird's eye view.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: It is somebody that is completely detached from your life.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: They're not there every day.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_00: They don't know your mom, your dad, your boyfriend, your friends, you know, they can see it for what it is.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and whenever I just need a different perspective on things, it has truly made such a difference for me.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_02: It is a needed splash of cold water in your face at times, and it's a warm blanket at times.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_02: It can be both.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: That was a great way to put it.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, and you know, it's not always gonna be easy.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_00: You go in there and you unpack things, and it's funny.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: I the mental the I didn't say the funny part, but the crazy part of the mental health journey is it can't, it's in layers, right?
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, I've was like, oh wow, I'm feeling great.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_00: I've been on my healing journey for like 10 years now.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: And six months ago, it was like my my mind was like, okay, yeah, you've been healing, but now that you're healed, we're gonna process all the trauma.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_00: And it was like it all came back.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, oh my gosh, thank God I have a therapist right now because I had no idea that this was coming.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes we don't know our bodies process things very weirdly, and we don't know when things are gonna come up.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I was so thankful that, okay, we've had some fun the last few weeks in therapy.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_00: Now we I actually have like a crisis we need to talk about, you know.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_01: So you returned to therapy recently.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_00: I did, yes.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: I returned to therapy, I'd say April of 2025.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_00: You know, unfortunately, it was a little bit difficult to find a therapist and with the insurance and the wait list.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, that's a big issue that we have right now is accessibility for people.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_00: So I I wish that we did have a better system in place for it to be accessible.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_00: But there are so many online options as well that you people can look into.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_02: Have you had that feedback from people again?
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_02: You're in a public career, uh, and then you do this ambassador work, this terrific ambassador work on mental health and suicide prevention.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_02: Have you had somebody to come to you and say, so you you Got it all.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_02: You know, you're here to have it all, and and yet you'll still talk about this.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I I would think that that would that would free some other people up to go, you know what?
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_02: If she's talking about her issues, I'm I'm ready to talk about mine.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I hope that that's I hope that that's what it does.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_00: I hope that it normalizes the conversation.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_00: I hope that it not gives permission, but lays out the hand to say, hey, you know, when people think about me and my life, they think like, oh, well, she's she's fine, right?
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_00: But then they're like, oh wait, she goes to therapy, she talks about her mental health issues, she suffers from anxiety.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like, she's not that different from you know the rest of us.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_00: That is like the secret sauce of it all is that everybody is not immune to it.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: Right, you know?
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we're not ironclad bots.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_02: No, we're not.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I mean, we've seen it with um, was it the comedian Robin Williams?
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_00: Took his life.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_00: Every time we saw him, he was making us laugh.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_00: He was an icon.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: We thought he had it all.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, sometimes people have a hard time understanding that.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_00: Again, going back to the, you know, how my parents, it's like, how could you when you have everything?
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like that, that's that's not, they don't go hand in hand.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm curious about your radio career.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_01: We talked about how you are on iHeartRadio.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_01: Um, how did that opportunity come about?
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, I I really like to think of of iHeartRadio, iHeartMedia being the biggest blessing of my life.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so right before I started, it was my first job and really my only big girl job um out of college.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_00: I worked since I was 14.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_00: I've always loved working.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but that was my first big girl job.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_00: And right after I graduated the University of Dayton back in 2016, my father passed away.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um, a heart attack in the middle of the night, no one saw it coming.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_00: That derailed a lot of the work that I had been doing.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_00: It it was just a very, it put me back into this dark place.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_00: But it was also a weird time because it wasn't like, oh, it's, you know, you're in college, you can just keep kind of dragging your feet.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_00: It was like you're graduated, like you are going into the real world now.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_00: And like I really felt that fire under my feet, you know, of like, I gotta get it together, but I'm struggling.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um and I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life, but I had a media, um, I had a media degree, a major in communications, and a minor in theater.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_00: We had a radio program at UD, started off with that, and then iHeart Radio in Dayton, Ohio had an opening as a promotions assistant.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I thought, well, I've worked so many promotional jobs, you know, as a teenager.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_00: I I can definitely do this, and I'm just gonna work my way up.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_00: And at that time, I really needed the distraction.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_00: And it's crazy how trauma or or things that really change you can drive you into something else, you know?
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, it was kind of like my dad never 100% got to see me come out of this.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_00: I know that he gave me everything that, you know, came to the States, got a job at the University of Dayton.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_00: So my whole tuition was paid for.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, talk about, you know, all these sacrifices that people made or my family made for me.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think that was the moment, Scott.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_00: I said, I have to do something with my life.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, really?
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I I had uh this tendency of kind of just like trying things, letting it go.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to be a yoga teacher, got almost had almost the way down, never finished.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_00: You know, just like that was like kind of like the pattern.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I said to myself, this is not going to be that.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_00: This is gonna be what I do for the rest of my life.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_00: I always knew when I was younger that I wanted to be in media.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know really what it was, and I just said, I'm running with this.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I started off as the promotions assistant and I worked on weekends, I worked for free, I, you know, worked under mentors.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I even had, you know, I was doing my promotional job, but you know, always sneaking little on-air things whenever I could.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember getting called into one of my managers' offices and saying, like, what are you doing?
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like you need to get your priorities straight.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Well, no, like, you know, my goal is like I want to be on the air, like that's why I'm here.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well, you know, I always wanted to be a supermodel and that didn't really happen, did it?
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_00: So let's get our priorities together.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_00: And in that moment, I never wanted anything more.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: I never wanted anything more.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_01: Motivation.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_01: Seriously.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_01: Not what they were going for, but that's what you got out of it.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_01: You said, I'll show you.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, watch this.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean, I do like to think that I've had my dad be my little sidekick, um, you know, my little guardian angel.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_00: But if I if I didn't have this job, I mean, now, you know, that I've it's been almost a decade, but in those first five, seven years, like having a job that I was passionate about and building something was extremely important to my healing.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't think that I would have been able to heal if I didn't have this other portion of my life that I was working for.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_00: It was like I was working towards something, and the more that I work toward it, the easier it was for me to heal.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_02: The word that's popping in my mind is you're talking about your career, the early days where you are now, and that is purpose.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_02: And you took a purpose and and then you've you've you've perfected your craft.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_02: And and sometimes purpose, boy, that is uh Stephanie, to your point, that can be such a motivator and such a great one.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I love that.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_01: So if anyone is listening today, uh Soul and they're struggling silently, maybe they see some of their life and your experiences.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_01: What do you hope they take away from your journey?
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_00: Well, first, if somebody is struggling silently, I beg you to think about one person in your life that is compassionate or trustworthy and let them know how you're feeling.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_00: Have an honest conversation with them and just, you know, hey, I I just I I trust you.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_00: You're someone that I really respect, and I needed to let you know that I'm not feeling a hundred percent.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't feel, you know, I need help.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_00: So try reaching out.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, the other thing is I would also really try therapy.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_00: I I truly believe that it is such a great way to unjumble your mind.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_02: All right, so I'm gonna go off script here.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, and I want to ask you, uh, you mentioned interviewing artists.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_02: Who are your top, you know, one, two, or three artists you would love to interview?
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_00: Ooh, okay.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_00: That's a good one.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_00: Tate McCrae.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_00: I I love, I'm a I work for top 40.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_00: I am a top 40 fan.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I love Dua Lipa.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_00: I love Sabrina Carpenter.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I would love to interview Bad Bunny.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like I, you know, I could do half English, half Spanish, and we could vibe well.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_00: So um That's a great list.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_01: That's a great list.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_00: Sheeran.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, Sheeran would be great.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_01: We are so honored and privileged that you um shared your story, that you were open about your journey, and we obviously continue to look forward to working with you and helping you, and you help us, both um, you know, in front of the mic and and behind the scenes when we're talking about mental health conversations.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_00: I hope that anyone listening today really feels the love and and feels the hope because if you are struggling right now, you truly, truly can have an amazing life.
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_00: You can heal, you matter, and and we need you here.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks, all.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_02: To our listeners, we thank you as well.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_02: When you listen to our episodes, you're the one.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_02: You're out there breaking stigmas, breaking barriers, and you care about mental health and saving lives.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_02: This is Voices for Suicide Prevention, brought to you by the Ohio Suicide Prevention Foundation.