Latest / The Daily Sarcast / March 12th, 2026: Airplane Moe, A Satirical Statue And Weird Ongoing Situations In My Life

Transcript

March 12th, 2026: Airplane Moe, A Satirical Statue And Weird Ongoing Situations In My Life · The Daily Sarcast

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  Today's episode is brought to you by traveling through New York City.
• 0:04
  Sometimes it can take over two hours to go two miles.
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  He was, I would say, physiologically a little bit different than me.
• 0:12
  Trump on J.D. Vance not being fully on board with going to war with Iran,
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  which is exactly what you want
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  to hear from the first and second people in charge of our entire country.
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  Insert theme song here. This is the Daily Starcast. I give you the news and
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  maybe a laugh. I'm Lindsay Wernick, and it's March 12th, 2026.
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  I'm going to be honest, I'm not feeling so hot today, so let's get right into it.
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  In real news, aviation experts say if you don't put your phone on airplane mode
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  during a flight, basically nothing happens.
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  The plane isn't going to crash. The navigation systems won't fail.
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  The biggest risk that the pilot might hear is that little interference down
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  in their headset, which is just like slightly a little bit annoying for them.
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  So it's not really about safety. It's just like being nice to the pilots.
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  Switching over into more serious news, five members of Iran's women's national
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  soccer team have defected during the Women's Asian Cup in Australia rather than return home.
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  The players, including their team captain, quietly left their hotel on Australia's
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  Gold Coast with help from the Australian police and were taken to a government safe house.
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  Australia has since granted them humanitarian visas while their asylum cases are considered.
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  This decision came after the team reportedly refused to sing Iran's national
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  anthem after a match, where Iranian state media later called it an act of betrayal.
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  And in Iran being called a traitor isn't
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  just a bad headline it can mean really really
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  really bad news there were Iranian officials
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  traveling with the team and they searched the hotel when they
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  realized the players were gone and insisted that they
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  be brought back but instead the Australian authority stepped in and helped the
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  women leave safely for the rest of the team this situation is so complicated
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  some players are trying to defect as well but many still have families in Iran
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  and fear that they would face retaliation if they don't go home.
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  So this is a really, really hard situation for them.
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  But thank God that those women are safely in Australia and away from all of that.
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  Okay, now back to a little bit more silly news.
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  Not silly, but you know, not this intense, crazy war shit.
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  So there's this mysterious group of artists, and they installed a giant satirical
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  statue on the National Mall this past week, showing Trump and Epstein recreating
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  the famous I'm the King of the World scene from Titanic.
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  It's nearly a 12-foot statue and shows Trump standing behind Epstein at the
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  bow of the ship, and they're both facing the Washington Monument,
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  just like Jack and Rose in the movie.
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  The statue is painted gold and includes plaques claiming it honors the bond
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  between the two men, referencing their history of traveling in the same social
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  circles and appearing together in photos in the 90s and early 2000s.
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  This installation also included a roll of banners featuring images of Trump and Epstein together.
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  The artists behind the piece are anonymous, but this isn't the first time they
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  did something like this.
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  Placed several political installations around Washington recently targeting Trump.
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  And as you might imagine, the reaction has been very mixed.
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  Some people praised this as political satire and a commentary on the relationship
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  between powerful men and Epstein.
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  Others called it disrespectful, partisan, or inappropriate for the National Mall.
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  But honestly, the most surprising part about all of this is that someone managed
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  to sneak a 12-foot statue onto the National Mall before anyone noticed.
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  In Lindsay life, as I said, I got sick. So I called my mom and I told her I'm
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  sick. And she says, what? How?
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  As if I told her I got married last night or something.
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  So weird ongoing situations I have in my life.
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  And this is a separate list from the actual ongoing situations I have going on in my life.
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  My ex trying to become a situationship with me.
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  My upstairs neighbors fighting really badly in the morning.
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  The farmer's market not having ricotta cheese
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  in forever this guy with really intense eyes
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  on hinge keeps asking me to get coffee with him and
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  i keep putting it off and i'm pretty sick and i'm pretending that i'm not cooking
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  tip of the day is that tomatoes are delicious so you should add them feedback
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  comments questions and ice jewish by looking for a date email me at lindsay
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  at thedailystarcast.com thanks so much for listening i'll talk to you guys tomorrow.