Latest / ADHD with Confidence | Overcome Anxiety & Self-Doubt, Christian ADHD Coach, ADHD in Women / 126 // Feel More Alive with ADHD by Fulfilling Your Values

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126 // Feel More Alive with ADHD by Fulfilling Your Values · ADHD with Confidence | Overcome Anxiety & Self-Doubt, Christian ADHD Coach, ADHD in Women

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  I think it's fair to say that all of us want to operate out of a place of feeling
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  fulfilled and content, having a full cup to pour out of, being filled with joy.
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  But a lot of times the things of our life can bog us down, they can weigh us
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  down, and we can end up feeling really overwhelmed.
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  So today I'm going to talk to you about how you can feel less overwhelmed with
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  ADHD by fulfilling your values.
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  In this podcast, I will give you the strategies to build God-centered confidence
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  so you can know in your heart that you do belong.
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  You are enough and you are made on purpose and with a purpose.
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  Hey, I'm Kelsey Spronk, fellow ADHD mom and entrepreneur. Join me in building.
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  Hey friends, welcome to the ADHD with Confidence podcast. I'm your host,
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  Kelsey, and today we're going to talk about what brings you joy.
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  Now this, I'm going to give you guys an explanation, but this is kind of the icing on the cake.
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  These are the things that are really life-giving for you. They're not just your basic needs.
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  They are things that are very unique to you. So I'm just going to quickly clarify.
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  A few episodes ago, and I can link these below, we talked about self-care And
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  then we also talked about needs.
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  So self-care, this is your survival.
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  We're talking about, you know, your sleep, your nutrition, your hydration.
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  Those were the basics that we talked about.
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  Now, these are incredibly important.
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  These are also universal. Maybe you're not going to need the exact same amount
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  of sleep or food and water, but everybody needs those things.
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  So that is just for our basic survival.
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  The next thing that I talked about was your needs.
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  So this is just one step up from self-care. Your needs are the things that are
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  going to help you thrive. They're going to help you be able to live, not just survive.
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  But for me, these things would be, you know, things like faith,
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  social connection, and health.
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  So they're going to kind of help me have a good basis beyond just being alive.
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  I'm going to feel like I can thrive a little bit.
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  So values is a step up from that. So self-care helps you survive,
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  needs help you thrive, and values help you feel alive.
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  Now what I mean by this is that they're kind of the icing on the cake.
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  They are going to bring you a lot of joy, a lot of excitement.
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  Maybe you're going to be passionate about these things. These are going to be
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  your values, the things that are really important that matter to you, that you are choosing.
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  So I'm going to go through some questions here, and then I'm also going to give
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  you kind of a picture of what this looks like. Actually, maybe I'll start with
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  that to help you understand.
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  And I want you to create your own for this as well. So for me,
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  I created a bit of a visual metaphor for my self-care, my needs, and my values.
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  So just picture here with me for a
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  second you can come up with your own but if i am a plant okay so my self-care
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  those basic needs of sleep nutrition and hydration those are going to be my
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  soil that is what i'm growing in i need that that's my kind of container that
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  i need to stay inside of okay,
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  That is for my survival. Now, my needs are going to be my air, sunshine, and rain.
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  And that is my faith, my social connection, and my health. So I'm going to need those if I want to grow.
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  My values, now I don't know if you know this, but I looked it up at a time of creating this.
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  My values are like lightning bolts. They're not necessary per se,
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  but they really make life more exciting because what lightning
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  bolts do is they enrich the soil
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  aka my life they're going to make it more
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  nutrient dense they're going to make it more exciting feel more
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  worth living feel more fun and so those are going to help me grow faster so
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  if you are a visual learner like me this can be helpful if you are not i want
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  you to figure out a way that you can create a metaphor for your self-care,
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  your needs, and your values that make sense to you.
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  Now to figure out your values, I'm going to ask you some questions,
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  and then I'm also going to give you some options.
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  So some questions you can think about. What are you passionate about?
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  So for me, I said one of mine is learning. I love to learn.
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  Languages, music, a new topic that I'm interested in, reading a book,
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  whatever it is, I love to learn.
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  And that is one of my core values.
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  Number two of questions, what could you spend all your time doing?
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  So if you have some extra time, what is it that you want to spend your time on?
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  Number three, what lights you up? What is exciting for you? Number four,
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  what do you feel called to?
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  So these are all questions that can work together and hopefully there's some overlap there.
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  I'm also going to read you the list of values and then we're going to talk about
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  how we can incorporate these into our lives.
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  All right, There are more than this, but I'm just going to read some of the
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  different options of lists. So just some examples.
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  Abundance, acceptance, accomplishment, adventure, affection,
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  audacity, balance, beauty, bravery.
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  As I go through these, if one stands out to you, just take a second to quickly write it down.
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  Calmness care cheerfulness cleanliness
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  comfort commitment compassion competence
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  curiosity daring decisiveness deepness dependability dreaming empathy excellence
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  faith fitness freedom fashion generosity growth health honesty humor Sure.
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  Integrity, intelligence, joy, leadership, loyalty, maturity.
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  Open-mindedness, originality, playfulness, privacy, proficiency,
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  recognition, reflection, resilience, resourcefulness.
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  This is a pretty long list. I have a few more. Sorry.
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  Security, self-realization, sensitivity, strength, success, sympathy,
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  teamwork, thankfulness, thoughtfulness, trust, variety, vision,
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  warmth, wealth, wholesomeness, winning, and worthiness.
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  Now, those are just some examples, but was there a word,
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  were there two or three words that stuck out for you, that resonated with you,
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  that felt like those could be your values, the icing on the cake,
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  the lightning bolts that make your life more exciting and more rich,
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  things that you are passionate about.
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  This may take time. And as I've said before, sometimes we can kind of change these as we go.
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  Maybe you'll realize, you know what, actually, this value is actually a need
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  that I have. So I need to bump it up into that or bump it down into that category.
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  Or maybe one of your needs is actually a value. You can switch these around for what works for you.
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  As I said, for me, right, my self-care, that's the basic.
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  That's what I need. My needs of faith, social connection, and health, that's one step up.
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  And then the icing on the cake for me, the things that really bring me a lot
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  of joy and fulfillment and excitement in my life are learning,
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  creativity, and achievement.
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  Those are things that if I get to choose how I'm spending my time,
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  aside from obviously spending quality time with my family, I am going to be
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  choosing one of those values.
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  All right once you have figured out and you have chosen anywhere
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  between three to five values that are
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  important for you i want you to write those down
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  and i want you to you know maybe you can take a piece of paper or on a note
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  on the notes app on your phone i want you to write ideas below them where in
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  your life can you incorporate these what does this look like for you so for mine for learning,
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  it has meant that I have a language app on my phone that I can access whenever I want to learn.
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  Or it means that I have set aside, not an official budget, but kind of budgeted
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  money for purchasing books so that I can spend time in learning.
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  Okay, so I want you to write down, depending on what your values are,
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  I want you to write down ideas below those values of how you can incorporate
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  these, how you have incorporated these in your life.
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  Another example, so for me, for creativity, I really enjoy getting to work on
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  creating the upcoming ADHD course for you guys.
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  I really enjoy getting to podcasts. I find I get to be creative.
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  I enjoy brainstorming with other people if they have business ideas,
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  things like that, where I can combine some of my needs, like social connection,
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  with my values of learning and creativity.
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  Achievement. I've also recognized that for me, I feel better when I feel like
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  I've accomplished something that brings me towards my goals of who I want to become,
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  of who I feel like God is asking me to become, the direction I'm supposed to be going in.
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  So it has to be for me with achievement.
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  It can't just be getting anything done. It has to be getting things done that
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  are meaningful and that have purpose.
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  So I want you to think about this, be curious, ask questions,
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  take some time, mull it over for the next couple of days and think about what are your values?
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  What do these look like in your life? And what makes it unique to you?
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  So I said with achievement, it's not just about achieving anything for me.
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  It's about achieving things that feel meaningful and purposeful.
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  What about for you? Maybe intelligence is really important for you,
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  but maybe it's also combined with recognition.
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  Maybe that's something that's really important for you. And you clarify in your
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  writing here, where does that recognition need to come from?
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  Or maybe you are somebody who's dreaming.
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  Dreaming is a value of yours. So maybe giving yourself the time and the space
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  to dream, to dream on your own,
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  to dream with other people, to dream about different areas of your life.
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  Maybe your value is curiosity. Where are you able to implement that value of curiosity in your life?
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  And the reason why it's so important to incorporate first our self-care and
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  then our needs and our values is this is going to give us so much life.
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  It's going to give us so much more energy and enthusiasm for our lives.
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  And that is going to help us obviously feel more content and fulfilled and purposeful,
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  it's also going to help us combat the times where we're feeling low,
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  where we're feeling discouraged, or we're feeling overwhelmed.
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  When we have a fuller cup to operate from, to pour from,
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  That's going to work out better than if we're operating from an empty or almost empty cup all the time.
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  So I want you to also think about what is your why for figuring these out?
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  What can it accomplish for you?
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  What could your life look like if you had your self-care, your needs,
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  and your values in place?
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  What could that change for you?
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  What is the hope beneath this? And so I want you to think forward thinking with
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  hope and positivity, what could this accomplish for you?
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  And then I want you to practice thinking about how you can fit these things into your life.
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  How can you practice using these in different areas, not just in your work,
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  but maybe in your home or your family.
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  So for me, you know, my value of creativity, I use this with my kids,
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  being creative with my kids in the activities that we do or in even for my son,
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  he's six, but he already has some business ideas,
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  you know, and being creative with him and using it in these different areas
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  of life can be really satisfying.
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  I hope this has been encouraging for you. I hope it helps you to understand
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  yourself better and to understand what is going to fill your cup so that you
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  have enough for you and for those around you and for your life.
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  I look forward to being here with you guys next time. Thanks again for joining
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  me. And until then, God bless.