Latest / Confident and Empowered Women / Right Before You Say “It’s Fine” | EP 276

Transcript

Right Before You Say “It’s Fine” | EP 276 · Confident and Empowered Women

• 0:05
  Right
• 0:06
  before
• 0:07
  you
• 0:07
  say
• 0:08
  it's
• 0:08
  fine,
• 0:09
  there's
• 0:09
  a
• 0:09
  moment
• 0:10
  you
• 0:10
  skip
• 0:11
  right
• 0:11
  over
• 0:12
  a
• 0:12
  pause,
• 0:13
  a
• 0:13
  feeling,
• 0:13
  a
• 0:13
  knowing.
• 0:14
  This
• 0:15
  is
• 0:15
  the
• 0:15
  moment
• 0:16
  your
• 0:16
  body
• 0:16
  tells
• 0:16
  the
• 0:17
  truth,
• 0:17
  before
• 0:17
  your
• 0:17
  mouth
• 0:18
  gets
• 0:18
  a
• 0:18
  chance
• 0:19
  to
• 0:19
  edit
• 0:19
  it.
• 0:20
  That
• 0:21
  moment,
• 0:21
  and
• 0:21
  that's
• 0:22
  not
• 0:22
  weakness
• 0:23
  and
• 0:23
  that's
• 0:23
  information.
• 0:24
  And
• 0:24
  today
• 0:25
  we're
• 0:25
  talking
• 0:26
  about
• 0:26
  your
• 0:26
  choice
• 0:27
  to
• 0:27
  quietly
• 0:27
  abandon
• 0:28
  or
• 0:29
  stay
• 0:30
  in
• 0:30
  that
• 0:30
  moment,
• 0:31
  build
• 0:31
  self-trust
• 0:32
  and
• 0:32
  real
• 0:33
  confidence.
• 0:33
  So
• 0:34
  let's
• 0:35
  talk
• 0:35
  about
• 0:35
  that
• 0:35
  moment.
• 0:38
  Hey,
• 0:39
  friend,
• 0:39
  before
• 0:40
  we
• 0:40
  go
• 0:40
  any
• 0:40
  further,
• 0:41
  make
• 0:41
  sure
• 0:41
  you
• 0:42
  are
• 0:42
  subscribed.
• 0:43
  These
• 0:43
  episodes
• 0:44
  build
• 0:44
  on
• 0:45
  each
• 0:45
  other,
• 0:45
  and
• 0:45
  if
• 0:45
  you're
• 0:46
  ready
• 0:46
  to
• 0:46
  move
• 0:46
  differently
• 0:47
  in
• 0:47
  this
• 0:47
  season,
• 0:48
  you'll
• 0:48
  want
• 0:49
  access
• 0:49
  to
• 0:50
  all
• 0:50
  of
• 0:50
  them.
• 0:50
  Okay?
• 0:51
  Let's
• 0:51
  get
• 0:52
  into
• 0:52
  it.
• 0:55
  Welcome
• 0:55
  back
• 0:56
  to
• 0:56
  the
• 0:56
  series,
• 0:57
  unavailable
• 0:58
  for
• 0:58
  Self
• 0:58
  Abandonment,
• 0:59
  a
• 0:59
  series
• 1:00
  for
• 1:00
  women
• 1:00
  who
• 1:01
  are
• 1:01
  done
• 1:02
  negotiating
• 1:02
  with
• 1:03
  themselves.
• 1:03
  This
• 1:04
  is
• 1:04
  for
• 1:04
  the
• 1:04
  woman
• 1:05
  who's
• 1:05
  confident
• 1:05
  enough
• 1:06
  to
• 1:06
  disappoint
• 1:07
  because
• 1:07
  self-trust
• 1:08
  is
• 1:08
  now
• 1:09
  the
• 1:09
  new
• 1:10
  standard
• 1:10
  here.
• 1:11
  Confidence
• 1:12
  is
• 1:12
  more
• 1:12
  than
• 1:12
  a
• 1:12
  feeling.
• 1:13
  It's
• 1:14
  a
• 1:14
  belief
• 1:14
  formed
• 1:15
  through
• 1:15
  action,
• 1:16
  practice,
• 1:17
  and
• 1:17
  repetition.
• 1:18
  It's
• 1:18
  what
• 1:18
  you
• 1:18
  do
• 1:19
  when
• 1:19
  it
• 1:19
  would
• 1:19
  be
• 1:19
  easier
• 1:20
  to
• 1:20
  explain
• 1:21
  yourself,
• 1:22
  perform
• 1:22
  or
• 1:23
  betray
• 1:24
  what
• 1:24
  you
• 1:24
  already
• 1:25
  know
• 1:25
  is
• 1:26
  true
• 1:26
  for
• 1:26
  you.
• 1:27
  So
• 1:27
  if
• 1:27
  you're
• 1:27
  ready
• 1:27
  to
• 1:28
  stop
• 1:28
  self
• 1:28
  abandoning
• 1:29
  yourself
• 1:30
  just
• 1:30
  to
• 1:30
  keep
• 1:30
  the
• 1:30
  peace
• 1:31
  you
• 1:32
  are
• 1:32
  in
• 1:32
  the
• 1:32
  right
• 1:33
  place.
• 1:36
  Hey,
• 1:36
  hey,
• 1:37
  hey,
• 1:37
  friend.
• 1:38
  Welcome
• 1:38
  back
• 1:38
  to
• 1:38
  the
• 1:39
  series,
• 1:39
  unavailable
• 1:40
  for
• 1:40
  Self
• 1:41
  Abandonment.
• 1:42
  And
• 1:42
  listen
• 1:42
  to
• 1:43
  me
• 1:43
  with
• 1:43
  your
• 1:43
  whole
• 1:44
  heart.
• 1:44
  When
• 1:45
  I
• 1:45
  say
• 1:45
  this,
• 1:46
  confidence
• 1:47
  is
• 1:47
  not
• 1:47
  just
• 1:48
  a
• 1:48
  vibe,
• 1:48
  it's
• 1:49
  conditioning,
• 1:50
  it's
• 1:50
  a
• 1:50
  belief.
• 1:51
  You
• 1:51
  build
• 1:52
  through
• 1:52
  what
• 1:52
  you
• 1:52
  do
• 1:53
  over
• 1:54
  and
• 1:54
  over
• 1:54
  again,
• 1:55
  especially
• 1:56
  when
• 1:56
  it
• 1:56
  would
• 1:57
  be
• 1:57
  easier
• 1:57
  to
• 1:58
  explain
• 1:58
  yourself,
• 1:59
  smooth
• 2:00
  things
• 2:00
  over,
• 2:01
  or
• 2:01
  betray
• 2:02
  what
• 2:02
  you
• 2:02
  already
• 2:03
  know
• 2:03
  is
• 2:04
  true
• 2:04
  for
• 2:04
  you.
• 2:05
  So
• 2:06
  if
• 2:06
  you've
• 2:06
  been
• 2:06
  saying
• 2:07
  it's
• 2:07
  fine
• 2:08
  when
• 2:08
  your
• 2:09
  spirit
• 2:09
  knows
• 2:10
  it
• 2:10
  ain't,
• 2:11
  this
• 2:12
  conversation
• 2:13
  is
• 2:13
  for
• 2:13
  you.
• 2:14
  Let's
• 2:15
  just
• 2:15
  tell
• 2:15
  the
• 2:15
  truth.
• 2:16
  As
• 2:16
  a
• 2:16
  woman
• 2:17
  you
• 2:17
  most
• 2:18
  certainly
• 2:18
  know,
• 2:19
  most
• 2:19
  of
• 2:19
  the
• 2:19
  time
• 2:20
  it's
• 2:20
  fine.
• 2:21
  Doesn't
• 2:21
  mean
• 2:22
  fine
• 2:23
  at
• 2:23
  all.
• 2:23
  It
• 2:24
  actually
• 2:24
  means
• 2:25
  I'll
• 2:25
  settle
• 2:26
  for
• 2:26
  this
• 2:26
  because
• 2:27
  I
• 2:27
  don't
• 2:27
  really
• 2:27
  feel
• 2:27
  like
• 2:28
  getting
• 2:28
  into
• 2:28
  it
• 2:28
  with
• 2:29
  you
• 2:29
  right
• 2:29
  now.
• 2:29
  I
• 2:30
  don't
• 2:30
  want
• 2:30
  to
• 2:30
  be
• 2:31
  misunderstood
• 2:32
  because
• 2:32
  let's
• 2:33
  be
• 2:33
  clear,
• 2:33
  you
• 2:33
  won't
• 2:34
  get
• 2:34
  it
• 2:34
  anyway.
• 2:36
  Or
• 2:36
  maybe
• 2:37
  you
• 2:37
  don't
• 2:37
  wanna
• 2:37
  rock
• 2:38
  the
• 2:38
  boat,
• 2:38
  you
• 2:38
  just
• 2:39
  don't
• 2:39
  wanna
• 2:39
  deal
• 2:40
  with
• 2:40
  the
• 2:40
  fallout,
• 2:41
  or
• 2:42
  you
• 2:42
  don't
• 2:42
  wanna
• 2:42
  make
• 2:43
  this
• 2:43
  bigger
• 2:43
  than
• 2:44
  it
• 2:44
  already
• 2:44
  feels
• 2:45
  and
• 2:46
  risk.
• 2:47
  Them
• 2:47
  making
• 2:48
  you
• 2:48
  feel
• 2:48
  stupid
• 2:49
  or
• 2:49
  less
• 2:49
  than.
• 2:50
  So
• 2:51
  you
• 2:51
  keep
• 2:51
  the
• 2:51
  peace,
• 2:52
  you
• 2:52
  keep
• 2:52
  the
• 2:52
  vibe
• 2:53
  light,
• 2:53
  you
• 2:53
  keep
• 2:54
  yourself
• 2:54
  quiet.
• 2:55
  Not
• 2:55
  because
• 2:56
  you
• 2:56
  don't
• 2:56
  know
• 2:56
  better,
• 2:57
  but
• 2:57
  because
• 2:58
  you've
• 2:58
  learned
• 2:59
  that
• 2:59
  harmony
• 3:00
  feels
• 3:00
  safer
• 3:01
  than
• 3:01
  honesty.
• 3:02
  But
• 3:02
  truth
• 3:03
  be
• 3:03
  told,
• 3:04
  it's
• 3:04
  fine.
• 3:05
  Is
• 3:05
  rarely
• 3:05
  about
• 3:06
  peace.
• 3:07
  It's
• 3:07
  about
• 3:07
  protection.
• 3:08
  Your
• 3:09
  nervous
• 3:09
  system.
• 3:10
  On
• 3:10
  the
• 3:10
  other
• 3:11
  hand,
• 3:11
  it
• 3:11
  is
• 3:11
  not
• 3:11
  asking,
• 3:12
  is
• 3:12
  this
• 3:12
  aligned
• 3:13
  with
• 3:13
  my
• 3:13
  highest
• 3:14
  self?
• 3:15
  It's
• 3:15
  asking,
• 3:16
  will
• 3:16
  this
• 3:17
  cost
• 3:17
  me
• 3:18
  connection?
• 3:19
  So
• 3:19
  you
• 3:19
  weigh
• 3:20
  your
• 3:20
  options.
• 3:21
  Am
• 3:21
  I
• 3:21
  willing
• 3:22
  to
• 3:22
  risk
• 3:22
  this
• 3:23
  connection?
• 3:24
  If
• 3:24
  I
• 3:24
  say
• 3:25
  what
• 3:25
  I'm
• 3:25
  really
• 3:26
  feeling,
• 3:26
  will
• 3:27
  they
• 3:27
  stay
• 3:28
  or
• 3:28
  leave
• 3:28
  me?
• 3:29
  So
• 3:29
  right
• 3:30
  before
• 3:30
  you
• 3:30
  say
• 3:31
  it's
• 3:31
  fine,
• 3:32
  your
• 3:32
  body
• 3:33
  tightens,
• 3:34
  your
• 3:34
  chest
• 3:34
  pulls
• 3:35
  in
• 3:35
  your
• 3:36
  energy
• 3:36
  contracts.
• 3:37
  That's
• 3:38
  not
• 3:38
  intuition
• 3:39
  telling
• 3:39
  you
• 3:39
  to.
• 3:40
  Stop.
• 3:40
  That's
• 3:41
  your
• 3:41
  nervous
• 3:42
  system
• 3:42
  saying
• 3:43
  it
• 3:43
  doesn't
• 3:44
  feel
• 3:44
  safe
• 3:45
  to
• 3:45
  say
• 3:45
  how
• 3:45
  I
• 3:46
  really
• 3:46
  feel.
• 3:47
  This
• 3:47
  is
• 3:48
  unfamiliar
• 3:49
  territory
• 3:49
  and
• 3:50
  remember,
• 3:50
  unfamiliar
• 3:51
  doesn't
• 3:52
  mean
• 3:52
  wrong.
• 3:53
  It
• 3:53
  just
• 3:54
  means
• 3:54
  your
• 3:54
  nervous
• 3:55
  system
• 3:55
  is
• 3:56
  untrained
• 3:57
  in
• 3:57
  saying
• 3:58
  how
• 3:58
  you
• 3:58
  feel
• 3:59
  without
• 4:00
  bracing
• 4:00
  for
• 4:00
  impact,
• 4:01
  discomfort
• 4:02
  isn't
• 4:03
  danger.
• 4:04
  It's
• 4:04
  a
• 4:04
  new
• 4:04
  edge.
• 4:05
  But
• 4:06
  here's
• 4:06
  the
• 4:06
  part
• 4:06
  that
• 4:07
  we
• 4:07
  don't
• 4:07
  talk
• 4:07
  about
• 4:08
  enough.
• 4:08
  Every
• 4:09
  time
• 4:09
  you
• 4:10
  override
• 4:10
  yourself
• 4:11
  in
• 4:11
  this
• 4:11
  moment,
• 4:12
  you
• 4:12
  create
• 4:13
  a
• 4:13
  small
• 4:14
  fracture
• 4:14
  in
• 4:15
  trust.
• 4:16
  You
• 4:16
  teach
• 4:16
  yourself,
• 4:17
  I
• 4:17
  don't
• 4:18
  have
• 4:18
  my
• 4:18
  own
• 4:19
  back.
• 4:19
  I'll
• 4:20
  come
• 4:20
  back
• 4:20
  to
• 4:20
  myself
• 4:21
  later.
• 4:22
  Which
• 4:22
  we
• 4:22
  already
• 4:23
  know,
• 4:23
  friend,
• 4:23
  that
• 4:24
  rarely
• 4:24
  ever
• 4:25
  comes
• 4:25
  back
• 4:25
  around
• 4:26
  And
• 4:26
  so
• 4:27
  you
• 4:27
  say,
• 4:27
  I'll
• 4:27
  deal
• 4:28
  with
• 4:28
  this
• 4:28
  eventually
• 4:29
  and
• 4:30
  eventually
• 4:31
  turns
• 4:31
  into
• 4:32
  a
• 4:32
  pattern,
• 4:33
  not
• 4:33
  overnight,
• 4:34
  but
• 4:34
  over
• 4:35
  time,
• 4:36
  self
• 4:36
  abandonment
• 4:37
  doesn't
• 4:37
  happen
• 4:38
  loudly.
• 4:39
  It
• 4:39
  happens
• 4:40
  politely
• 4:41
  in
• 4:41
  those
• 4:42
  moments
• 4:42
  when
• 4:42
  you're
• 4:42
  just
• 4:43
  trying
• 4:43
  to
• 4:44
  be
• 4:44
  nice
• 4:45
  or
• 4:45
  my
• 4:46
  personal
• 4:46
  favorite.
• 4:47
  The
• 4:47
  moments
• 4:48
  when
• 4:48
  you're
• 4:48
  treating
• 4:48
  someone
• 4:49
  the
• 4:49
  exact
• 4:50
  way
• 4:50
  you
• 4:50
  wanna
• 4:51
  be
• 4:51
  treated.
• 4:52
  Hoping,
• 4:53
  and
• 4:53
  I'm
• 4:53
  saying
• 4:54
  heavy
• 4:54
  on
• 4:55
  the
• 4:55
  hope
• 4:55
  friend.
• 4:57
  We
• 4:57
  end
• 4:58
  up
• 4:58
  hoping
• 4:58
  that
• 4:59
  at
• 4:59
  some
• 4:59
  point
• 5:00
  they'll
• 5:00
  return
• 5:01
  the
• 5:01
  favor,
• 5:02
  the
• 5:02
  money
• 5:02
  they
• 5:02
  borrowed,
• 5:03
  they'll
• 5:03
  pay
• 5:04
  it
• 5:04
  back
• 5:04
  all
• 5:05
  the
• 5:05
  times.
• 5:06
  You
• 5:06
  give
• 5:06
  great
• 5:07
  advice
• 5:07
  and
• 5:08
  truly
• 5:08
  help
• 5:08
  them
• 5:09
  to
• 5:09
  solve
• 5:09
  their
• 5:10
  problems,
• 5:11
  yet
• 5:11
  they
• 5:11
  are
• 5:12
  nowhere
• 5:12
  to
• 5:12
  be
• 5:12
  found
• 5:13
  When
• 5:14
  you
• 5:14
  could
• 5:14
  use
• 5:14
  an
• 5:15
  ear
• 5:15
  or
• 5:15
  a
• 5:16
  sounding
• 5:16
  board
• 5:17
  at.
• 5:17
  All
• 5:17
  the
• 5:17
  times
• 5:18
  you've
• 5:18
  offered
• 5:18
  to
• 5:19
  help
• 5:19
  fill
• 5:19
  whatever
• 5:20
  gap
• 5:20
  they
• 5:20
  had.
• 5:21
  But
• 5:21
  when
• 5:22
  you
• 5:22
  expressed
• 5:22
  a
• 5:23
  need,
• 5:23
  they
• 5:23
  never
• 5:24
  volunteer
• 5:24
  to
• 5:25
  assist.
• 5:25
  Shoot.
• 5:26
  They
• 5:26
  really
• 5:27
  even
• 5:27
  call
• 5:27
  you
• 5:27
  just
• 5:28
  to
• 5:28
  check
• 5:28
  in
• 5:28
  and
• 5:28
  see
• 5:29
  how
• 5:29
  you
• 5:29
  doing.
• 5:32
  Sometimes
• 5:33
  in
• 5:33
  an
• 5:33
  effort
• 5:34
  to
• 5:34
  love
• 5:35
  others
• 5:35
  the
• 5:35
  way
• 5:36
  we
• 5:36
  wanna
• 5:36
  be
• 5:36
  loved,
• 5:37
  we
• 5:37
  fail
• 5:38
  to
• 5:38
  realize
• 5:39
  we've
• 5:40
  been
• 5:40
  dealing
• 5:40
  with
• 5:40
  a
• 5:41
  taker
• 5:41
  who
• 5:42
  is
• 5:42
  only
• 5:42
  happy
• 5:43
  when
• 5:44
  they
• 5:44
  are
• 5:44
  the
• 5:44
  recipient
• 5:45
  of
• 5:45
  all
• 5:46
  we
• 5:46
  have
• 5:46
  to
• 5:46
  give.
• 5:47
  We've
• 5:47
  been
• 5:47
  operating
• 5:48
  so
• 5:48
  much
• 5:49
  from
• 5:49
  our
• 5:49
  heart.
• 5:50
  We
• 5:50
  forget
• 5:51
  to
• 5:51
  check
• 5:51
  in
• 5:52
  and
• 5:52
  ask
• 5:52
  our
• 5:53
  heart
• 5:53
  what
• 5:54
  do
• 5:54
  we
• 5:54
  need
• 5:54
  from
• 5:54
  others?
• 5:55
  Successful
• 5:56
  relationships
• 5:57
  are
• 5:57
  never
• 5:58
  one
• 5:59
  sided,
• 5:59
  and
• 6:00
  yet
• 6:00
  if
• 6:00
  we
• 6:01
  took
• 6:01
  a
• 6:01
  step
• 6:01
  back,
• 6:02
  we
• 6:02
  may
• 6:02
  be
• 6:03
  alarmed
• 6:03
  to
• 6:03
  find.
• 6:04
  We've
• 6:04
  been
• 6:05
  the
• 6:05
  sole
• 6:05
  contributor
• 6:06
  and
• 6:07
  the
• 6:07
  ROI
• 6:08
  is
• 6:09
  non-existent.
• 6:10
  These
• 6:10
  are
• 6:11
  the
• 6:11
  energy
• 6:11
  leaks
• 6:12
  that
• 6:12
  slowly
• 6:13
  drain
• 6:13
  your
• 6:14
  confidence
• 6:15
  and
• 6:15
  plant
• 6:15
  limiting
• 6:16
  beliefs.
• 6:17
  It
• 6:17
  becomes
• 6:18
  the
• 6:18
  breeding
• 6:18
  ground
• 6:19
  for
• 6:19
  thinking
• 6:19
  you
• 6:20
  aren't
• 6:20
  worthy
• 6:21
  of
• 6:21
  mutual,
• 6:22
  healthy,
• 6:22
  loving
• 6:23
  relationships,
• 6:24
  or
• 6:25
  that
• 6:25
  this
• 6:25
  means
• 6:26
  something
• 6:26
  negative
• 6:27
  about
• 6:27
  you.
• 6:28
  The
• 6:28
  one-sided
• 6:29
  effort,
• 6:30
  a
• 6:30
  lack
• 6:31
  of
• 6:31
  reciprocity,
• 6:32
  and
• 6:33
  internalizing
• 6:34
  this
• 6:34
  to
• 6:34
  mean
• 6:34
  something
• 6:35
  negative
• 6:35
  about
• 6:35
  you
• 6:36
  instead
• 6:37
  of
• 6:37
  showcasing
• 6:38
  their
• 6:38
  capacity
• 6:39
  to
• 6:39
  actually
• 6:40
  meet
• 6:40
  your
• 6:41
  needs,
• 6:41
  That's
• 6:42
  exactly
• 6:43
  how
• 6:43
  low
• 6:43
  confidence
• 6:44
  erodes
• 6:45
  not
• 6:46
  from
• 6:46
  failure,
• 6:47
  but
• 6:47
  from
• 6:47
  misdirected
• 6:48
  loyalty.
• 6:49
  The
• 6:50
  cost
• 6:50
  of
• 6:50
  leaving
• 6:51
  yourself
• 6:51
  here,
• 6:52
  your
• 6:52
  confidence
• 6:53
  and
• 6:53
  self-trust
• 6:54
  takes
• 6:55
  the
• 6:55
  hit
• 6:55
  when
• 6:56
  you
• 6:56
  choose
• 6:56
  to
• 6:56
  be
• 6:56
  polite
• 6:57
  instead
• 6:58
  of
• 6:58
  precise
• 6:59
  about
• 7:00
  the
• 7:00
  way
• 7:00
  you
• 7:01
  honor
• 7:01
  yourself.
• 7:03
  Confidence
• 7:03
  is
• 7:03
  not
• 7:04
  something
• 7:05
  you
• 7:05
  wake
• 7:05
  up
• 7:05
  with.
• 7:06
  It's
• 7:06
  not
• 7:07
  a
• 7:07
  personality
• 7:08
  upgrade.
• 7:08
  Confidence
• 7:09
  is
• 7:10
  built
• 7:10
  in
• 7:10
  moments
• 7:11
  like
• 7:12
  this
• 7:13
  when
• 7:13
  you
• 7:13
  pause,
• 7:14
  when
• 7:14
  you
• 7:14
  stay,
• 7:15
  when
• 7:16
  you
• 7:16
  don't
• 7:16
  immediately
• 7:17
  smooth
• 7:18
  it
• 7:18
  over,
• 7:18
  and
• 7:19
  if
• 7:19
  you
• 7:19
  don't
• 7:19
  say
• 7:20
  anything
• 7:20
  different
• 7:21
  yet,
• 7:22
  that
• 7:22
  pause.
• 7:23
  That's
• 7:23
  a
• 7:24
  rep
• 7:24
  and
• 7:25
  reps
• 7:25
  build
• 7:26
  beliefs.
• 7:27
  Confidence
• 7:28
  grows
• 7:28
  every
• 7:29
  time
• 7:29
  you
• 7:29
  choose
• 7:30
  presence
• 7:31
  over
• 7:31
  performance.
• 7:33
  Every
• 7:33
  time
• 7:33
  you
• 7:33
  realize
• 7:34
  you
• 7:34
  can
• 7:35
  maintain
• 7:35
  connections
• 7:37
  and
• 7:37
  also
• 7:38
  your
• 7:39
  commitment
• 7:39
  to
• 7:40
  honor
• 7:40
  yourself
• 7:41
  at
• 7:41
  the
• 7:41
  same
• 7:42
  time,
• 7:42
  you
• 7:43
  are
• 7:43
  teaching
• 7:44
  your
• 7:44
  nervous
• 7:44
  system
• 7:45
  you
• 7:45
  love
• 7:46
  yourself.
• 7:47
  And
• 7:47
  let's
• 7:48
  just
• 7:48
  say
• 7:49
  this
• 7:49
  plainly,
• 7:50
  for
• 7:50
  the
• 7:50
  connections
• 7:51
  that
• 7:51
  fade
• 7:51
  away
• 7:52
  or
• 7:52
  end
• 7:53
  the
• 7:53
  moment,
• 7:54
  you
• 7:54
  start
• 7:54
  redirecting
• 7:55
  your
• 7:55
  energy
• 7:56
  to
• 7:57
  the
• 7:57
  people,
• 7:57
  places,
• 7:58
  and
• 7:58
  things
• 7:59
  that
• 8:00
  truly
• 8:00
  see
• 8:01
  you
• 8:01
  appreciate
• 8:02
  you
• 8:02
  and
• 8:03
  value
• 8:04
  you.
• 8:05
  It's
• 8:05
  okay
• 8:06
  to
• 8:06
  grieve
• 8:06
  those
• 8:06
  connections
• 8:07
  and
• 8:08
  allow
• 8:08
  them
• 8:08
  the
• 8:08
  free
• 8:09
  will
• 8:09
  to
• 8:09
  go
• 8:10
  as
• 8:10
  they
• 8:10
  may,
• 8:11
  some
• 8:11
  relationships
• 8:12
  have
• 8:12
  just
• 8:13
  run
• 8:13
  their
• 8:13
  season,
• 8:14
  and
• 8:15
  some
• 8:15
  people
• 8:15
  may
• 8:16
  even
• 8:16
  say
• 8:17
  you've
• 8:17
  changed
• 8:18
  and
• 8:19
  did.
• 8:22
  All
• 8:22
  of
• 8:22
  it
• 8:23
  is
• 8:23
  okay.
• 8:24
  Confidence
• 8:25
  isn't
• 8:25
  coming
• 8:25
  from
• 8:26
  applause.
• 8:27
  It's
• 8:27
  coming
• 8:28
  from
• 8:28
  witnessing
• 8:29
  your
• 8:29
  own
• 8:30
  integrity.
• 8:31
  That
• 8:31
  is
• 8:32
  the
• 8:32
  most
• 8:32
  stable
• 8:33
  form
• 8:33
  of
• 8:34
  confidence
• 8:35
  there
• 8:35
  is.
• 8:36
  The
• 8:36
  moments
• 8:37
  you
• 8:37
  choose
• 8:38
  to
• 8:38
  honor,
• 8:38
  love,
• 8:39
  and
• 8:39
  respect
• 8:40
  yourself
• 8:41
  will
• 8:41
  fill
• 8:42
  in
• 8:42
  those
• 8:42
  spaces
• 8:43
  once
• 8:44
  occupied
• 8:45
  by
• 8:45
  those
• 8:46
  who
• 8:46
  didn't
• 8:46
  have
• 8:47
  the
• 8:47
  capacity
• 8:48
  to
• 8:48
  see
• 8:48
  you.
• 8:49
  Up
• 8:49
  close
• 8:50
  and
• 8:50
  personal.
• 8:51
  During
• 8:51
  this
• 8:51
  part
• 8:52
  of
• 8:52
  your
• 8:52
  evolution,
• 8:53
  the
• 8:53
  reward
• 8:54
  you
• 8:54
  get
• 8:55
  is
• 8:55
  in
• 8:55
  your
• 8:55
  newfound
• 8:56
  level
• 8:57
  of
• 8:57
  high
• 8:58
  self-esteem
• 8:59
  because
• 8:59
  now
• 8:59
  you
• 9:00
  see
• 9:00
  yourself
• 9:01
  as
• 9:01
  someone
• 9:01
  who
• 9:01
  loves
• 9:02
  you
• 9:02
  deeply
• 9:03
  and
• 9:04
  that
• 9:04
  builds
• 9:04
  confidence.
• 9:05
  That's
• 9:06
  unshakeable
• 9:07
  Main
• 9:07
  character
• 9:08
  energy.
• 9:09
  It's
• 9:09
  not
• 9:09
  about
• 9:10
  being
• 9:10
  dramatic,
• 9:11
  it's
• 9:11
  about
• 9:12
  being
• 9:12
  rooted.
• 9:13
  It's
• 9:14
  the
• 9:14
  calm
• 9:15
  confidence
• 9:15
  of
• 9:15
  a
• 9:16
  woman
• 9:16
  who
• 9:16
  trusts
• 9:17
  herself
• 9:18
  enough
• 9:18
  to
• 9:18
  let
• 9:19
  a
• 9:19
  moment
• 9:19
  be
• 9:19
  awkward
• 9:20
  without
• 9:21
  abandoning
• 9:22
  herself
• 9:23
  to
• 9:23
  fix
• 9:23
  it.
• 9:24
  You
• 9:24
  don't
• 9:24
  rush.
• 9:25
  You
• 9:25
  don't
• 9:25
  explain,
• 9:26
  you
• 9:26
  don't
• 9:27
  disappear.
• 9:28
  You
• 9:28
  stay.
• 9:30
  That's.
• 9:31
  Authority
• 9:32
  that's
• 9:32
  self-love
• 9:33
  and
• 9:34
  self-worth
• 9:35
  on
• 9:35
  display
• 9:36
  in
• 9:36
  the
• 9:36
  most
• 9:37
  beautiful
• 9:38
  way.
• 9:39
  Ooh,
• 9:40
  that
• 9:40
  was
• 9:40
  a
• 9:40
  bar.
• 9:46
  If
• 9:47
  you're
• 9:47
  listening
• 9:47
  to
• 9:47
  this
• 9:48
  and
• 9:48
  thinking,
• 9:48
  I
• 9:49
  understand
• 9:49
  myself,
• 9:50
  but
• 9:50
  nothing
• 9:50
  is
• 9:51
  actually
• 9:51
  changing,
• 9:52
  I
• 9:52
  want
• 9:52
  you
• 9:52
  to
• 9:53
  hear
• 9:53
  this
• 9:53
  gently
• 9:54
  and
• 9:54
  clearly.
• 9:55
  You
• 9:55
  are
• 9:55
  not
• 9:55
  stuck
• 9:56
  because
• 9:56
  you
• 9:56
  don't
• 9:57
  know
• 9:57
  enough.
• 9:58
  You're
• 9:58
  stuck
• 9:58
  because
• 9:59
  you've
• 9:59
  outgrown
• 10:00
  awareness.
• 10:01
  At
• 10:01
  this
• 10:01
  stage,
• 10:02
  more
• 10:02
  insight
• 10:03
  won't
• 10:04
  move
• 10:04
  you
• 10:04
  forward
• 10:05
  in
• 10:05
  your
• 10:05
  life
• 10:06
  Decision,
• 10:07
  will
• 10:07
  that
• 10:08
  pause?
• 10:09
  You
• 10:09
  keep
• 10:09
  calling
• 10:09
  timing.
• 10:10
  That's
• 10:11
  not
• 10:11
  confusion.
• 10:12
  That's
• 10:12
  the
• 10:12
  moment
• 10:13
  where
• 10:13
  self-trust
• 10:14
  has
• 10:14
  to
• 10:15
  be
• 10:15
  practiced,
• 10:16
  not
• 10:16
  processed.
• 10:17
  That's
• 10:17
  exactly
• 10:18
  why
• 10:18
  the
• 10:19
  Main
• 10:19
  Character
• 10:19
  Momentum
• 10:20
  Builder
• 10:20
  exists.
• 10:21
  Not
• 10:22
  to
• 10:22
  give
• 10:22
  you
• 10:22
  more
• 10:23
  information,
• 10:24
  but
• 10:24
  to
• 10:24
  help
• 10:24
  you
• 10:24
  move
• 10:25
  quietly,
• 10:26
  steadily,
• 10:27
  and
• 10:28
  in
• 10:28
  alignment
• 10:29
  without
• 10:29
  forcing
• 10:30
  yourself
• 10:30
  or
• 10:31
  waiting
• 10:31
  for
• 10:31
  confidence
• 10:32
  to
• 10:32
  arrive
• 10:32
  first.
• 10:33
  If
• 10:33
  you
• 10:33
  are
• 10:34
  done,
• 10:34
  circling
• 10:35
  and
• 10:35
  ready
• 10:35
  to
• 10:36
  build
• 10:36
  momentum,
• 10:37
  you
• 10:37
  can
• 10:37
  actually
• 10:38
  trust.
• 10:39
  You'll
• 10:39
  find
• 10:39
  it
• 10:40
  linked
• 10:40
  in
• 10:40
  the
• 10:40
  show
• 10:40
  notes.
• 10:44
  Okay
• 10:44
  friend,
• 10:45
  so
• 10:45
  let's
• 10:45
  make
• 10:46
  this
• 10:46
  real
• 10:47
  life
• 10:47
  usable.
• 10:48
  Not
• 10:49
  to
• 10:49
  turn
• 10:49
  every
• 10:50
  moment
• 10:50
  into
• 10:50
  a
• 10:51
  confrontation,
• 10:51
  okay,
• 10:54
  but
• 10:54
  to
• 10:54
  stop
• 10:55
  a
• 10:55
  leaving
• 10:55
  yourself
• 10:56
  when
• 10:56
  things
• 10:57
  get
• 10:57
  uncomfortable.
• 10:58
  Here's
• 10:59
  a
• 10:59
  simple
• 10:59
  practice
• 11:00
  I
• 11:00
  use
• 11:01
  whenever
• 11:01
  I
• 11:01
  feel
• 11:02
  that
• 11:02
  familiar
• 11:03
  urge
• 11:03
  to
• 11:03
  say.
• 11:04
  It's
• 11:04
  fine.
• 11:05
  You
• 11:05
  know
• 11:06
  it
• 11:06
  and
• 11:06
  you
• 11:06
  love
• 11:07
  it.
• 11:07
  It's
• 11:07
  the
• 11:07
  self-love
• 11:08
  two
• 11:08
  step.
• 11:09
  This
• 11:09
  one
• 11:10
  is
• 11:10
  The
• 11:11
  Stay
• 11:11
  Practice.
• 11:13
  This
• 11:13
  is
• 11:13
  not
• 11:13
  about
• 11:14
  saying
• 11:14
  more.
• 11:15
  It's
• 11:15
  about
• 11:16
  staying
• 11:17
  connected
• 11:17
  and
• 11:18
  choosing
• 11:18
  yourself.
• 11:20
  Step
• 11:20
  one,
• 11:21
  pause
• 11:22
  and
• 11:23
  stay
• 11:23
  with
• 11:23
  the
• 11:23
  sensation
• 11:24
  right
• 11:25
  before
• 11:25
  you
• 11:26
  say
• 11:26
  it's
• 11:27
  fine.
• 11:28
  Say
• 11:28
  to
• 11:28
  yourself,
• 11:29
  this
• 11:30
  is
• 11:30
  the
• 11:30
  moment
• 11:31
  not
• 11:31
  to
• 11:31
  plan,
• 11:32
  not
• 11:33
  to
• 11:33
  explain,
• 11:34
  not
• 11:34
  to
• 11:34
  fix.
• 11:35
  Just
• 11:36
  long
• 11:36
  enough
• 11:37
  to
• 11:37
  notice
• 11:38
  where
• 11:38
  your
• 11:39
  body
• 11:39
  tightens.
• 11:41
  Where
• 11:41
  your
• 11:41
  energy
• 11:42
  contracts,
• 11:43
  where
• 11:44
  you
• 11:44
  are
• 11:44
  about
• 11:45
  to
• 11:45
  override
• 11:46
  yourself.
• 11:46
  You
• 11:47
  don't
• 11:47
  need
• 11:47
  to
• 11:48
  change
• 11:48
  your
• 11:48
  words
• 11:49
  just
• 11:49
  yet.
• 11:49
  You're
• 11:50
  just
• 11:50
  choosing
• 11:51
  awareness
• 11:51
  over
• 11:52
  autopilot.
• 11:53
  This
• 11:53
  pause
• 11:54
  alone
• 11:55
  tells
• 11:55
  your
• 11:55
  nervous
• 11:56
  system.
• 11:56
  I'm
• 11:56
  here,
• 11:57
  I'm
• 11:57
  listening.
• 11:58
  I'm
• 11:58
  not
• 11:59
  disappearing.
• 12:00
  Confidence
• 12:01
  doesn't
• 12:01
  come
• 12:01
  from
• 12:02
  confrontation.
• 12:03
  Okay,
• 12:03
  friend,
• 12:04
  so
• 12:04
  don't
• 12:05
  be
• 12:05
  out
• 12:05
  here.
• 12:06
  Ready
• 12:06
  to
• 12:06
  give
• 12:06
  everybody
• 12:07
  the
• 12:07
  top
• 12:07
  flight
• 12:07
  business.
• 12:09
  Confidence
• 12:10
  doesn't
• 12:10
  come
• 12:11
  from
• 12:11
  confrontation.
• 12:12
  It
• 12:12
  comes
• 12:12
  from
• 12:13
  presence.
• 12:14
  This
• 12:14
  step
• 12:15
  stops
• 12:15
  self
• 12:16
  abandonment
• 12:17
  before
• 12:17
  it
• 12:17
  becomes
• 12:18
  a
• 12:18
  habit.
• 12:18
  Step
• 12:19
  two,
• 12:20
  redirect.
• 12:21
  Choose
• 12:22
  self
• 12:22
  honor
• 12:23
  over
• 12:24
  politeness.
• 12:25
  After
• 12:25
  the
• 12:25
  pause,
• 12:26
  gently
• 12:27
  redirect
• 12:28
  not
• 12:28
  into
• 12:29
  drama,
• 12:30
  not
• 12:30
  into
• 12:30
  proving
• 12:31
  and
• 12:31
  not
• 12:32
  into
• 12:32
  people
• 12:33
  pleasing.
• 12:33
  Redirect
• 12:34
  toward
• 12:35
  one
• 12:35
  small
• 12:36
  act
• 12:37
  of
• 12:37
  self
• 12:37
  honor.
• 12:38
  Just
• 12:39
  pick
• 12:39
  one,
• 12:39
  Whether
• 12:40
  it's
• 12:40
  not
• 12:40
  explaining
• 12:41
  yourself.
• 12:42
  Choosing
• 12:42
  silence
• 12:43
  instead
• 12:44
  of
• 12:44
  self
• 12:44
  betrayal.
• 12:45
  Walking
• 12:45
  away
• 12:46
  without
• 12:46
  over
• 12:47
  justifying
• 12:48
  naming
• 12:49
  one
• 12:49
  simple
• 12:50
  need
• 12:51
  or
• 12:51
  my
• 12:52
  favorite,
• 12:52
  just
• 12:53
  asking
• 12:53
  for
• 12:53
  more
• 12:53
  time
• 12:54
  instead
• 12:55
  of
• 12:55
  smoothing
• 12:56
  it
• 12:56
  over.
• 12:57
  This
• 12:57
  is
• 12:57
  where
• 12:57
  confidence
• 12:58
  is
• 12:58
  built,
• 12:59
  not
• 12:59
  in
• 12:59
  being
• 12:59
  loud,
• 13:00
  but
• 13:01
  in
• 13:01
  being
• 13:01
  precise.
• 13:02
  With
• 13:03
  your
• 13:03
  energy.
• 13:04
  Every
• 13:04
  time
• 13:05
  you
• 13:05
  redirect
• 13:06
  towards
• 13:06
  self
• 13:07
  honor,
• 13:07
  you
• 13:08
  teach
• 13:08
  your
• 13:08
  nervous
• 13:09
  system.
• 13:09
  I
• 13:10
  can
• 13:10
  stay
• 13:10
  connected
• 13:11
  to
• 13:11
  myself
• 13:12
  and
• 13:12
  survive
• 13:13
  the
• 13:13
  moment.
• 13:14
  That's
• 13:15
  self-trust.
• 13:16
  That's
• 13:16
  confidence
• 13:17
  conditioning.
• 13:18
  That's
• 13:19
  main
• 13:19
  character
• 13:20
  energy.
• 13:21
  Now
• 13:22
  let
• 13:22
  me
• 13:22
  pour
• 13:23
  into
• 13:23
  you
• 13:23
  real
• 13:23
  quick.
• 13:24
  And
• 13:24
  listen
• 13:24
  to
• 13:25
  me
• 13:25
  with
• 13:25
  your
• 13:25
  whole
• 13:26
  heart
• 13:27
  when
• 13:27
  I
• 13:27
  say
• 13:27
  this.
• 13:28
  If
• 13:28
  you've
• 13:29
  been
• 13:29
  leaving
• 13:29
  yourself
• 13:30
  in
• 13:30
  these
• 13:30
  moments,
• 13:31
  grant
• 13:32
  yourself
• 13:32
  some
• 13:32
  grace.
• 13:34
  You
• 13:34
  are
• 13:34
  a
• 13:34
  human
• 13:35
  having
• 13:35
  a
• 13:36
  human
• 13:36
  experience.
• 13:38
  You
• 13:38
  may
• 13:38
  not
• 13:38
  get
• 13:38
  it
• 13:39
  right
• 13:39
  each
• 13:39
  and
• 13:40
  every
• 13:40
  time,
• 13:40
  and
• 13:41
  that's
• 13:41
  okay.
• 13:42
  It
• 13:42
  doesn't
• 13:43
  mean
• 13:43
  you
• 13:44
  lack.
• 13:44
  Confidence.
• 13:45
  It
• 13:45
  means
• 13:46
  you've
• 13:46
  been
• 13:46
  prioritizing
• 13:48
  peace
• 13:48
  over
• 13:49
  presence,
• 13:50
  and
• 13:50
  that
• 13:50
  made
• 13:51
  sense
• 13:51
  at
• 13:51
  one
• 13:52
  time,
• 13:52
  but
• 13:53
  it
• 13:53
  doesn't
• 13:53
  fit
• 13:54
  who
• 13:54
  you
• 13:54
  are
• 13:55
  anymore.
• 13:56
  The
• 13:56
  people
• 13:57
  pleasing
• 13:57
  days,
• 13:58
  they
• 13:58
  are
• 13:59
  over
• 13:59
  shrinking
• 14:00
  yourself
• 14:00
  so
• 14:01
  others
• 14:01
  feel
• 14:02
  better
• 14:02
  about
• 14:02
  themselves.
• 14:03
  Those
• 14:04
  days
• 14:04
  are
• 14:04
  over
• 14:05
  because
• 14:06
  the
• 14:06
  truth
• 14:06
  of
• 14:06
  the
• 14:07
  matter
• 14:07
  is.
• 14:08
  Even
• 14:08
  at
• 14:09
  the
• 14:09
  height
• 14:10
  of
• 14:10
  your
• 14:10
  people
• 14:10
  pleasing
• 14:11
  or
• 14:11
  shrinking
• 14:11
  days,
• 14:12
  it
• 14:13
  never
• 14:13
  guaranteed
• 14:14
  people
• 14:15
  would
• 14:15
  love
• 14:15
  you
• 14:15
  more,
• 14:16
  have
• 14:16
  more
• 14:16
  respect
• 14:17
  for
• 14:17
  you,
• 14:17
  or
• 14:18
  even
• 14:18
  treat
• 14:18
  you
• 14:19
  better.
• 14:19
  It
• 14:20
  definitely
• 14:21
  didn't
• 14:21
  guarantee
• 14:22
  they'd
• 14:22
  be
• 14:22
  happy
• 14:23
  or
• 14:23
  feel
• 14:24
  better
• 14:24
  either.
• 14:25
  Now
• 14:26
  with
• 14:26
  this
• 14:26
  new
• 14:26
  level
• 14:27
  of
• 14:27
  awareness.
• 14:28
  You
• 14:28
  know
• 14:29
  what
• 14:29
  shrinking
• 14:30
  and
• 14:30
  people
• 14:31
  pleasing
• 14:31
  cost
• 14:32
  you,
• 14:32
  and
• 14:33
  it's
• 14:33
  just
• 14:33
  too
• 14:33
  expensive.
• 14:35
  You
• 14:35
  don't
• 14:35
  need
• 14:35
  to
• 14:35
  be
• 14:36
  louder
• 14:36
  or
• 14:37
  harsher.
• 14:38
  You
• 14:38
  don't
• 14:39
  even
• 14:39
  need
• 14:39
  to
• 14:40
  say
• 14:40
  everything
• 14:41
  perfectly.
• 14:42
  You
• 14:42
  just
• 14:43
  need
• 14:43
  to
• 14:43
  stay
• 14:44
  because
• 14:45
  the
• 14:45
  moment
• 14:45
  you
• 14:45
  stay
• 14:46
  with
• 14:46
  yourself,
• 14:47
  confidence
• 14:48
  comes
• 14:48
  back
• 14:48
  online.
• 14:51
  Here's
• 14:51
  what
• 14:51
  I
• 14:51
  want
• 14:52
  you
• 14:52
  to
• 14:52
  carry
• 14:53
  with
• 14:53
  you
• 14:54
  From
• 14:54
  this
• 14:54
  series.
• 14:55
  Confidence
• 14:56
  doesn't
• 14:56
  come
• 14:57
  from
• 14:57
  being
• 14:57
  self-centered.
• 14:58
  It
• 14:58
  comes
• 14:59
  from
• 14:59
  being
• 15:00
  self
• 15:00
  connected.
• 15:01
  And
• 15:01
  every
• 15:02
  time
• 15:02
  you
• 15:02
  choose
• 15:03
  yourself,
• 15:04
  even
• 15:04
  when
• 15:04
  it's
• 15:05
  uncomfortable,
• 15:06
  you
• 15:06
  strengthen
• 15:07
  a
• 15:07
  belief
• 15:08
  you
• 15:08
  can
• 15:08
  rely
• 15:09
  on.
• 15:09
  The
• 15:09
  moment
• 15:10
  you
• 15:10
  reconnect
• 15:11
  to
• 15:11
  yourself,
• 15:12
  confidence
• 15:13
  returns,
• 15:14
  stay
• 15:14
  unavailable
• 15:15
  for
• 15:15
  self
• 15:16
  abandonment.
• 15:16
  And
• 15:17
  I'll
• 15:17
  meet
• 15:17
  you
• 15:18
  in
• 15:18
  the
• 15:18
  next
• 15:18
  episode.
• 15:20
  Ooh,
• 15:20
  friend.
• 15:20
  I'm
• 15:20
  so
• 15:21
  proud
• 15:21
  of
• 15:21
  you.