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Why Journaling Can Ease Our Trauma Thoughts and Feelings · Breaking Our Borders

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the Breaking Our Borders Podcast.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: Throughout my episodes, I have offered journal prompts to help you write about your traumatic experiences, your emotions, and the impact past trauma is making on your life.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: In today's episode, I will explain why writing is helpful when dealing with extreme emotions and difficult situations.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: I will explain the best way to write about your feelings and explain what happens when we ignore them.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: So let's get started talking about all of that right now.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: In this book, he discusses his findings, gives information on how to use writing to help you, and how writing can improve your health.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: Since I often provide journal prompts to help with the difficult feelings I talk about, I thought I would now provide the science behind my suggestion.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever felt emotionally lighter after venting to a friend?
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like a weight has been lifted off your chest.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: This phenomenon was the beginning of Dr.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: Pennebaker's research and then the book opening up.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: Science shows that humans prefer to talk than to listen.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: We enjoy being able to share our experiences, thoughts, and feelings, and it gives a liberating feeling to express them.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: Psychological studies showed that when people confessed to crimes, they had a reduction in their stress, even though they knew they were facing jail time.
• 1:55
  unknown: Dr.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: Pennebaker wanted to find out if the same was true if people wrote about their experiences instead of just talking about it.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: He began by understanding what happens when we inhibit our emotions, meaning what happens when we hold everything in and don't express it.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: Holding in our emotions requires energy.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: The brain and body can be in a recurring state of stress, causing the brain to be on alert to the stress, which reduces the logical part of the brain to kick in and make sense of what is happening.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: The brain and body are in the fight or flight stress response because the stressful situation is not resolved.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: Humans need a sense of control, meaning, and resolution in life.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: Without that, we can get stuck in a stressful cycle of thinking about the situation while searching for understanding and resolution.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: For example, as a child, my mother would accuse me of doing things that I didn't do, like being selfish, inconsiderate, and incompetent.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't agree with her, but was not able to express my thoughts or emotions to my mother.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: I was forced to hold in my emotions and was not able to find understanding or resolution to her accusations.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: These thoughts and emotions cycled through my mind constantly, searching for closure and aggravating my stress response.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: I have a previous episode that discusses this process deeper, but basically, without closure or resolution, these thoughts are like a train on a circular track that just keeps going through our mind.
• 3:31
  unknown: Dr.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: Pennebaker states that dealing with these thoughts and feelings can reduce anxiety and stress on the body.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: But we can't always deal with the situation.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: As a child, I could not confront my mother to process my emotions.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: If I did, more abuse would occur.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes the other person in our situations refuses to hear out our opinions, will not accept responsibility for their behaviors, or is unwilling to reach a compromise.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: I have had several experiences like this in various relationships in my life.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: Without some recognition, acceptance, and resolution to our feelings, these thoughts will continue to circulate through our mind and cause stress in our brain and body.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: This continuous circulation of stressful thoughts is called inhibition by Dr.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Pennebaker.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: Inhibition is defined as the conscious or unconscious restraint of thoughts to stop responses to those thoughts.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: We block out the thoughts that cause us stress, trying to ignore them and pretend they are not there.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: However, this is a temporary fix.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: The thoughts do not disappear.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: They replay over and over at various times and continue to activate the stress system.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: Inhibition of our thoughts takes physical work.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: Our nervous system consciously holds back our thoughts and feelings, which requires energy to not think, feel, or behave in a reaction to those feelings.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: Being stuck in this stress response can also change the regular processes of the mind and body.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: The stress response system releases hormones that will dysregulate mental and physical processes, leading to illness and psychological problems.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: The thoughts that are being inhibited do not go away.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: They are still circulating through the mind, repeating the stress response and interfering with other thoughts.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: The inhibited thoughts can run in the background, affecting present thinking processes so that full attention is not given to the present thoughts.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: The inhibited thoughts can also show up in ruminations, dreams, or thought disturbances.
• 5:47
  unknown: Dr.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: Pennebaker stated that many studies have been done to demonstrate how inhibiting major life stressors can be a health risk and is linked to recurrent unwanted thoughts and higher levels of anxiety and depression and insomnia.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: We inhibit thoughts for a couple of reasons.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: One may be that we don't want to revisit the pain of a past trauma.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: Reliving the experience will cause us to feel the pain of the experience again.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's much easier to ignore those feelings and leave them in the past.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: Another reason is that we may have to admit to our own inadequacies.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: Recognizing our downfalls doesn't feel good, so again, easier to ignore them.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: And another reason may be denying what is happening in current situations that need to be changed.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: If things are not working out the way we want them to, then an easy way to handle it is to ignore how bad things are.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: When I think about the experiences of trauma in my childhood with my mother, I feel the pain of her words and actions like it is happening again.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: Who wants to relive pain over and over again?
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: I have tried so hard over the years to inhibit those thoughts so that I didn't feel the pain again.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: During my first marriage, I realized I had made some choices that were not serving me well.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: Things about my education, career, and finances.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: In order to change them, I would have to admit I had made bad choices and that I needed help figuring out something better.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: This felt like failure, and I didn't want to admit that.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: For many years, I knew that my first marriage was not healthy or happy for me.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: But that would mean I would have to confront the issues in the marriage, which were painful to recognize.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know how to process the pain to make it stop, so I tried to ignore it and push it out of my thoughts.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: Denial and ignoring my emotions was how I was surviving.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: The problem was that the thoughts and emotions never went away and continued to cause me mental and physical stress.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: The opposite of inhibition is confrontation of the thoughts.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: Confrontation of the thoughts means we are thinking or talking about the inhibited thoughts, as well as recognizing the emotions involved with the thoughts, and then understanding the connection between the two.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: Confrontation of our thoughts reduces the stress caused by inhibition immediately, which is why we feel better when we vent to a friend.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: It also helps with a rethinking of the events so that we better understand, can process, and resolve the event.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: Just thinking about the inhibited thoughts doesn't make things better.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: We have to actually confront the thoughts, process the emotions, and work towards a resolution or acceptance of the situation.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: Writing about inhibited thoughts begins a sense of letting go of the energy needed to contain the thoughts and emotions that are being inhibited.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: Dr.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: Pennebaker expressed that in his studies, writing about inhibited thoughts immediately showed an impact on the physical and mental well-being of the writer.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: Opening the floodgates, so to speak, can begin a release of stress levels.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: Writing for yourself, not for anyone else to see, also allows you to break down any social constraints that may keep us from experiencing our true feelings.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: It prevents holding back thoughts or feelings that we might think would not be accepted by others.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: When writing about our inhibited thoughts, we need to be completely honest with what we think and feel.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever we think or feel, no matter how negative or socially frowned upon, they are natural human reactions to trauma or stress.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: The sooner we acknowledge all of our thoughts and emotions of a situation, the sooner we can process them.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: The goal of writing about inhibited thoughts is to process the emotions involved with the thoughts so that the two make sense with each other.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: Back to my example of my mother's verbal abuse.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: When I think about one of her tirates, I am reminded of the environment, my mother's physical presence, and the sound of her voice.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: I also have emotions that are connected to the experience.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: Anger, fear, shame, guilt, anxiety, sadness, and frustration.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: Writing about all of these things at the same time helps my mind and body make the connection between the physical and emotional happenings during this situation.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: Writing like this can also help identify the emotions that were felt in the situation.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: As I think back on the experiences with my mother, the first thoughts were of the pain she was making me feel about myself.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: The harder emotions to look at were the feelings I was having about her.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: I was angry at her for treating me this way, hated her for doing it to me, and then felt extreme guilt for feeling such negative feelings towards my mother.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: But all of those feelings are understandable and normal for the trauma I endured.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: For those of us who are writing about childhood trauma as adults, there will be a different understanding to the experience.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: When experiencing the trauma, we dealt with it through the mind of a child.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: As children, our mind has not fully developed to understand the effects of trauma.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: But now as adults, we can understand that the trauma was not our fault, not something we should have had to endure, and was caused by our parents' own issues.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: This allows us to see the treatment differently.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: We can recognize now that whatever coping mechanisms we used as a child are not serving us well in adulthood, that the negative things our parents said to us are not true, and that we should see ourselves differently than we did as a child.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: As an adult, looking at my experiences with my mother, I can now understand that my mother abused me because she had narcissistic traits, not because I was a bad human.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: I can understand that her verbal abuse was a projection of her own faults and not a true reflection of who I am.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I can recognize the coping mechanisms I used as a child and the negative thoughts I had about myself need to be reconstructed to show the reality of who I really am.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: If you write about an experience not related to childhood trauma, the understanding of the situation can be beneficial in similar ways.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: Writing about any stressful life situation allows the logical thinking part of the brain to participate with the emotional part, to process an experience without just the emotions involved.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: Emotions help us figure out what we need to be comfortable and safe, while logic helps us rationalize what should be done with those emotions.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: An example of this would be having a conflict with your partner that doesn't seem to get resolved.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: Writing about what you are feeling and thinking can help you to better understand your emotions and put words to them so that you can explain your feelings to your partner in an effort to find resolution.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: In the book Opening Up, Dr.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: Pennebaker explains that as humans, we have a desire to complete tasks and understand our world.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: We like to have situations resolved and have meaning.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: But this is difficult when faced with a traumatic experience that doesn't allow for resolution, an unpredictable event, or the resistance of another to work with you to have a resolution.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: My mother would never admit what she did to me, so I had no way of processing the abuse to obtain closure.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: Death, divorce, or loss of a job sometimes happen outside of our control.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: We don't get to choose a resolution that we are happy with sometimes in these situations.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: Our mind will continue to think of these situations, searching for a resolution, but never finding one.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: Writing about these situations can help us find meaning to the situation and develop self-understanding of our reactions to these situations.
• 14:00
  unknown: Dr.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: Pennebaker also discussed another finding from his research that I found interesting, pertaining to the effects of writing about the same situation multiple times.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: He found that when people wrote about the same traumatic or stressful situation repeatedly, they showed a gradual change in their perspective of the event.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: The writers became more detached from their original emotions felt during the situation and could evaluate the complex causes of the event.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: Their emotional responses became less extreme and had less of an emotional reaction to the meaning and impact of the situation.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: I have found this to be true in writing about my mother's abuse.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: When I write about her tirades, I'm more factual about what she did at first, the impact it had on me, and what I feel about all of that.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: After writing about it again, I can see that I am not at fault and should not feel shame.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: I am not a terrible person as my mother said I was, and she had some emotional issues that she needed to work on instead of projecting it on me.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: Further writing about this helped me feel less responsibility for my mother's actions and gave me a clearer picture of how I could improve my thoughts about myself.
• 15:17
  unknown: Dr.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: Pennebaker made a reference to Abraham Maslow, a psychologist in his book.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: Maslow stated that we have different levels of needs, the first of which is physical, like food, shelter, safety, but then all the others are emotional.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: One of those is self-expression, meaning the desire to be heard and acknowledged.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_00: When that desire is blocked due to being unable to find resolution with another, tension builds in the mind and body.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: Writing allows us to express our thoughts and emotions without judgment, no opposition or disagreement.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: We can freely express whatever we think and feel when writing, and that can bring an emotional release.
• 16:02
  unknown: Dr.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: Pennebaker expressed that writing about our thoughts and emotions has several benefits.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: Writing can clear our mind.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: When lots of thoughts and feelings are swirling around in our mind, writing can give all that a place to land and be organized.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_00: Whether it is a list of tasks to be done or reflecting on a traumatic event, writing helps process thoughts that are lingering on your mind.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: Writing about traumatic events can reduce overthinking about that event, allowing the brain to think about other tasks or situations that need attention.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: Writing about past situations can help develop a framework for handling new situations.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: As we process one situation, we may see new ways to handle that situation, and that gives us ideas for handling similar situations in the future.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: Writing also promotes problem solving.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: As we process the thoughts and feelings, we develop ways to handle that situation and the feelings associated with it.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: Through this process, we are more likely to find ways to resolve the problems in the situation and have those problem solving skills for future situations.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: Free writing about our thoughts and feelings develops writing skills that can enhance formal writing needed in other situations in life.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: Writing in a journal can improve your writing skills for clearer communication and career tasks.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: Writing's best attribute is the fact that it allows for emotional growth and recognition.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: This won't happen if you write, but don't take action on the situations you find in your writing.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_00: Just writing about what my mother did to me does not help me process the emotions.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: Along with writing, taking action to heal the results of my mother's abuse is part of the process as well.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_00: When we write, we have to self-reflect in the words and not just write facts about what happened.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: Facts can be involved too, but make sure you're processing the emotions you feel through the words you write.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: Also, make sure your writing isn't just venting about the situation.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: Getting the story down on paper can be cathartic, but again, it has to be about the thoughts and emotions you feel as well, and how you process those feelings to be more emotionally healthy.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: Your writing needs to be reflective and not just about you.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, you will write about your emotions, but also write about why you feel those emotions, what those emotions are doing to you now, and look for how you're going to continue living with those emotions.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: So, now my suggestion is go get a journal or notebook, a pen you like to use, a comfortable quiet place where you can write, and a drink or snack.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe play some soft music in the background or burn a candle.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever you like to make the area comfortable and relaxing.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_00: Then write about a traumatic or stressful situation that is weighing heavy on your mind.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: Start out with writing whatever comes to your mind about the situation.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: This may be mostly facts at first, and that's okay.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_00: But plan to write about that situation again.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: And that time focus on including more of your emotions that were felt in that situation.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: Then write about it again.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_00: And this time, focus only on the emotions you felt and why you felt them, along with how you're going to handle those emotions going forward.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_00: I will put a journal prompt on my website, breakingarborders.com, along with my own example of that prompt, to help you get started on your writing journey.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_00: I will also add the book Opening Up The Healing Power of Expressing Emotions to my reading list on my website.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: According to Dr.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_00: Pennebaker, writing is preventative maintenance for our mental health.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_00: It is an inexpensive, simple way to organize our mental and emotional lives, with the freedom to be and say whatever we feel.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you'll give it a try.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes the thoughts and feelings we've had inside for years becomes part of the mental border we've built around ourselves.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_00: Writing can give us a safe place to examine those thoughts, understand those feelings, and begin taking down some of those borders.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: One thought, one feeling, and one page at a time.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you will join me next week as I continue talking about the impact of childhood trauma and how we can begin to heal from it.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for listening, and I hope you have a wonderful week!