Latest / Beyond the Facade with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute / 92: Breathwork and Somatic Healing: How to Reconnect With Your Body - with Steven Roccazzella

Transcript

92: Breathwork and Somatic Healing: How to Reconnect With Your Body - with Steven Roccazzella · Beyond the Facade with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute

0:00
Hey everybody, all right, so I am going to introduce you to
0:02
Stephen here in just a moment, but let me share something with
0:05
you. I this isn't going to be a
0:07
surprise to you if you listen to this podcast often, but I work
0:10
with a lot of men who understand recovery like in their head.
0:13
In fact, maybe they've been around the recovery world for a
0:15
really long time. They did in groups, they've done
0:18
individual work, maybe a 1080 intensive, but they still
0:22
struggle to feel safe inside of their body.
0:25
And that's where somatic work becomes so important.
0:29
So you'll notice that's the word we use over and over again.
0:32
And today I wanted to bring on someone who spent years helping
0:35
people use breath work and cold exposure as tools for regulation
0:40
and healing and resilience. So I had the pleasure of working
0:43
with this person. So I'm excited for you to meet
0:45
him today so we can talk more about somatic healing and maybe
0:48
it'll make sense at a level that it hasn't before for you.
0:55
Welcome to Beyond the Facade podcast.
0:57
I'm your host, Luke Gordon, and I'm thrilled to have you join me
1:00
in this space today. What we're going to be doing is
1:01
diving deep into the trials and triumphs and truths of seeking
1:05
authenticity. Becoming your true self isn't
1:08
about a single action or a moment.
1:10
It's a relentless pursuit, a commitment to self that reveals
1:13
the rich connection and meaning that our life has to offer.
1:16
So whether this is your first time tuning in or you're a
1:19
regular listener, know this. What you're building here goes
1:22
beyond a conversation. You're here to challenge, to
1:25
change, and to celebrate the incredible journey of becoming
1:28
your authentic self. Because when you dare to show up
1:30
fully, the rewards are immeasurable.
1:33
So welcome to Beyond the Facade. Let's get started.
1:37
Steven, welcome to the podcast. We're glad to have you.
1:41
Likewise, it's great to be here. Thank you.
1:43
I am going to introduce you a little bit here, but before I do
1:48
just, I think the biggest part of this podcast for me is my own
1:53
personal experience working with you.
1:56
And I know when it comes to my own healing, even still today,
2:00
people start talking about, hey, noticing what's happening inside
2:03
of me and what's happened inside my body.
2:05
Somatic work is just like an experience where it can become
2:09
frustrating. So I'm like, I just wish I could
2:11
be more in touch with that. So I think the way you've
2:14
articulated the work that you do is felt really useful.
2:17
And you articulated things that other people tried to explain
2:20
where I'm like, wait, what are they talking about?
2:22
And when I heard you said it's like, oh, that makes sense.
2:24
So I got a chance to meet Stephen through an organization
2:27
called ILC and back in Tennessee.
2:30
And he introduced me to breath work and cold exposure in a way
2:35
that I hadn't before. And I knew the concepts, but
2:38
they hit a little differently. So he's trained in what the Wim
2:42
Hof Method when it comes to breath work and has worked with
2:45
people in trauma and addiction recovery.
2:48
And that's grounded public information for you.
2:51
But Steven, why don't you tell us a little bit about you and so
2:53
we know who you are? OK, sure.
2:56
Yeah, I am. I'm in a practitioner of breath
2:58
work for probably 10 years now, and I did learn about it through
3:02
the Wim Hof Method. That was my introduction to
3:05
breathwork. It came into my life at a time
3:08
where I was, I was in a pretty low point.
3:10
I had just recently gone through a divorce.
3:13
I'd been married for 15 years. I had spent most of that time
3:17
working in law enforcement as a sheriff's deputy, working a lot
3:22
in the corrections side of the Sheriff's Office.
3:25
So working inside of the county jail, I had left that line of
3:29
work and became a Barber and was running a Barber shop very close
3:34
to you actually. And unfortunately, my marriage
3:38
didn't survive that transition from law enforcement over to
3:42
being a Barber. And my kids and their mom moved
3:46
from Utah out to Nashville and I stayed in Utah to run my Barber
3:51
shop. But I, I, you know, really
3:54
identified my like, my value as a man was very much identified
3:58
with how I showed up as a father and feeling like that had been
4:02
taken away from me. I was really struggling with my
4:05
purpose. I was really missing my kids a
4:08
lot. And, and I had already been
4:10
dealing with with anxiety and panic disorder for quite a long
4:14
time, PTSD, just stuff from the Sheriff's Office, but going all
4:19
the way back to childhood. And I was on medication for
4:23
that, antidepressant, anti anxiety meds.
4:26
And like after my divorce, I just really hit a point where
4:29
these things weren't working for me and I was just stuck with
4:32
side effects, but no benefits. Panic attacks were like an
4:35
interesting thing for me. Like when I was working in law
4:38
enforcement, I never had a panic attack, never had any problems
4:42
doing my job. But then I would be home on a
4:45
day off and the house would be quiet, the kids would be in bed.
4:48
And that's when my body would decide to start processing
4:51
whatever craziness I had dealt with or had been cramming down
4:54
in into my body. And when I would start to feel
4:57
those things, that's when I would start to panic.
5:00
And I would try to fight against that.
5:01
And so as long as I stayed in some sort of state of hyper
5:04
vigilance, I could kind of avoid a panic attack.
5:08
And anyway, I end up hearing about the Wim Hof Method through
5:11
a podcast and I tried a breathing session just from
5:14
YouTube and I remember feeling very, very relaxed and safe in
5:20
my body, which was not familiar to me.
5:23
And it was a positive experience.
5:26
So I just, I stuck with it. I'd started doing the breathing
5:29
every morning. I started taking cold showers
5:31
and then that turned into cold plunging and then hiking in the
5:35
mountains in Utah and my shorts in the middle of winter and
5:38
jumping into freezing reservoirs and all that.
5:40
And it was a really fun journey. I did it by myself at the time,
5:43
I couldn't find anybody else crazy enough to do it with me.
5:47
But anyway, after a year, I was off of all of the medications.
5:51
I was, I felt very safe and in control of my body and had a
5:55
good relationship with my body. I experienced a lot of
5:58
improvement in my physical health and mental health and and
6:02
that was what kind of kicked off my journey with breathing and
6:06
it's expanded a lot since then beyond the Wim Hof method, but
6:09
that's still one of my foundational practices.
6:11
Yeah, what's OK. So hopefully this comes across
6:14
the right way. Maybe it's a small attempt to be
6:17
a little bit funny. What makes it like healing to
6:21
jump in cold water and hike through the mountains in your
6:23
shorts instead of just making you crazy?
6:25
But what's the difference between doing something and have
6:28
it being kind of like, I don't know, just weird versus OK
6:31
What's the science behind it? So when people hear breath work,
6:34
what are they actually talking about?
6:36
What is it? I define breath work as just
6:40
intentional breathing, being aware of your breath and making
6:43
some sort of shift in what you're doing to achieve a
6:47
specific result. Breath work is often thought of
6:51
as this as one thing, meaning this kind of like cyclical
6:55
hyperventilation that puts us into this altered state of
6:58
consciousness, which often results in some sort of big
7:01
somatic release. And that is, that is one piece
7:05
of a breath work. But I think that's what it's
7:08
most commonly associated with. But I see it as as any
7:12
intentional breathing with a with a with a goal in mind.
7:17
OK. First of all, Steven, thank you
7:19
so much for sharing With some vulnerability the relationship
7:22
experience, the fact that medications weren't giving the
7:24
effect that they needed totally side effects.
7:26
I felt my body respond to that like I felt that I've been
7:30
there. I can think of just struggling
7:33
to get up in the morning, struggling to go for a run, just
7:35
like life feels way bigger than me.
7:37
I just can't handle it. And I think I could feel like I
7:40
could connect with you in that heaviness.
7:42
And you're, you're talking about like this method, this podcast
7:47
you listen to and then breathing and finally noticing some
7:50
effects that you hadn't felt before.
7:52
You start to walk us through a little bit of, of the maybe, I
7:57
don't know if the science, the most useful part of it.
7:59
I don't know what it is, But I think we have a lot of listeners
8:01
here that are just like their relationships aren't going well.
8:05
Maybe they got caught in some type of behavior, their partners
8:08
are upset with them. Maybe their jobs aren't going
8:11
good. Life is just bigger than them.
8:13
And then they're going to therapy and maybe getting a
8:16
psychoeducation, but still not seeing the benefit.
8:19
So what is this somatic stuff? What is the breath work?
8:23
Can you tell us about it, Why it matters?
8:25
Sure. Yeah.
8:26
Can I start with a cold with cold exposure on that one?
8:29
I think that was coming in right away because when you'd
8:32
mentioned feeling like it being difficult just to get up and do
8:36
something and go on a run and life seems big, I think cold
8:40
exposure was a big part of me moving through that feeling.
8:45
So when when we do a cold exposure, like a cold shower or
8:48
an ice bath, we get a pretty significant increase in dopamine
8:52
and adrenaline. And those are just natural
8:56
endogenous chemicals that we have access to that are very
9:00
much related to motivation and drive and determination and
9:05
energy and focus and power. And those are things that we
9:09
have within us all the time. Yeah, they don't feel accessible
9:12
sometimes, but we have them. Right.
9:13
Yeah. Like oftentimes they're only
9:15
accessible through some outward stimulus, right?
9:18
Like, how do I induce this within myself without needing to
9:21
engage in some sort of reckless or risky or be sometimes
9:26
dangerous behavior? And there are few things that we
9:30
can do in life safely that give us the kind of increase that
9:35
cold exposure does. And so even from doing cold
9:38
showers, I noticed very early on that no matter how I woke up
9:43
mindset wise, if I was able to get myself into that shower when
9:48
I come out, I was different. I was like, OK, that was
9:51
difficult, that was uncomfortable, but I feel good.
9:54
I feel alive, I feel bright, I feel like powerful.
9:58
And that made everything else just easier that whole day.
10:02
And so life didn't feel so big to me and so scary when I was
10:08
choosing to intentionally do something that was difficult
10:11
already and a little bit scary and uncomfortable.
10:14
And then getting this chemical reinforcement or like aid that
10:20
stayed with me for hours afterwards, that just helped me
10:23
really get through. And that's really how I see the
10:25
Wim Hof method being like a hand that helped pull me out of a
10:29
hole. That's what I want to activate
10:31
inside of me. Like when I'm just like, this is
10:32
too heavy. I know I have a part of me that
10:34
will survive anything, right? As a human, I'm extremely
10:38
resilient, but that part of me that survives, it's feel like
10:41
it's not accessible. I'm like, I'm almost like bad at
10:43
myself for not showing up in my life.
10:45
Come like, come on, what's your deal?
10:47
You're going to lose everything if you don't wake up.
10:49
But I don't know how to wake up. So I'm staying like that.
10:52
I can activate that survival part of me if there's methods
10:56
for doing that. Yes, absolutely.
10:58
Yeah. And the cold is a strong one.
11:01
And then there is a lot of health benefit to cold plunging
11:05
and we can get into that if you want to.
11:07
But just the basic science of how it works as a somatic
11:10
practices would be that that that big increase in those
11:13
chemicals that really help us with, you know, feel the power
11:18
and energy and desire to do things, even hard things.
11:21
And, and the breathing complements it.
11:23
Because in a lot of ways, a cold plunge or a cold shower is
11:27
really just a breathing exercise.
11:29
It's an opportunity to throw me into a little bit of a fight or
11:33
flight state and then practice using my breath to find
11:37
stability and even softness in that moment.
11:41
And if I can do it in that shower or that cold plunge, then
11:44
I can do it anywhere, anytime that I need to.
11:47
So it's a, it's an intentional stress that allows me to
11:50
practice my mindset and my breath and my posture and, and
11:54
then bring that into every area of life.
11:57
Can I bring a skeptical mindset here for a moment that I don't
12:01
believe in that I used to believe with us.
12:04
OK, so I'll just say like this. OK, Steven, seriously, that
12:07
makes me frustrated to think like people go like, OK, if
12:10
you're frustrated, count to 10, breathe differently.
12:13
And you can give us some proof that breathing actually makes a
12:17
difference. Like why?
12:18
Why should I even believe the breath work is going to make a
12:21
difference in the severity of my situation?
12:25
Sure. Yeah.
12:26
So your breath is very much linked to your heart rate and to
12:32
your the mental activity. And so when we are able to slow
12:37
down the breath, we can't help but feel a decrease in heart
12:41
rate and a little bit of a slowing of the mind at the same
12:44
time. And so those are just the breath
12:47
kind of takes it can take belief out of it because it's just it's
12:52
the language that your body understands.
12:55
So powerful, Yeah, breath can take the belief out of it.
13:00
Yeah, it's like, like the story that you're telling yourself,
13:05
like the breath can overcome that.
13:06
And I will often use my breath where my mind is failing me when
13:11
I'm trying to talk myself into something and convince myself of
13:14
something or my body isn't believing what my mind is saying
13:19
because it's picking up on things that are outside of my
13:21
conscious mind. The breath can be a way to
13:24
bridge that in a way that the body does understand.
13:28
It may not believe my words, but it does believe my breath.
13:32
Guys, think about what Stephens presenting us with.
13:34
This is huge because at the core of this thing is our belief
13:38
systems. It's what we believe about what
13:41
we're experiencing, right? Believe this about our partner.
13:43
We believe this about our boss. We believe this about ourselves.
13:47
And you're talking about right now, Stephen and I love it,
13:50
which is if we're going to this is tied to our beliefs, our
13:53
breath are tight. This is this themselves, tied
13:55
together. Yeah, you're, I mean, just
13:57
having this conversation with you, I'm thinking I didn't
13:59
realize, like what a big deal that was.
14:02
And then just hearing the feedback from you, it's like,
14:04
wow, I didn't even realize like how profound that is even for
14:08
myself, but it really is. And let's just even slow that
14:11
down, tell us again, let's just hear one more time.
14:13
What does it do? So when I focus on my breath and
14:16
my heart would say that with the beliefs, again with what we
14:18
believe. So it's taking the, it's taking
14:22
your logical mind and your belief in your story out of the
14:26
equation and it's just responding to the inhale or the
14:31
exhale. And that's there, that's in your
14:33
DNA. Like that is a message that the
14:36
body can receive and trust regardless of what is going on
14:41
in that mental chatter. OK, that's fantastic.
14:43
And I'm what I'm reminded of is the part that would piss me off
14:47
about recovery is meditation. I'm like, I got so much to do
14:50
around time to stop and meditate.
14:52
Like you have a lot to do. And then it's I'm encouraged to
14:55
stop and just notice an anchor to pick an anchor, which is my
14:59
breath back to over and over again.
15:02
And then my beliefs aren't running wild for moments.
15:06
And then all of a sudden my beliefs are starting to change
15:08
about my environment as I find an anchor, which is my breath.
15:13
That's very cool. I was fascinated, Steven,
15:17
listening to you talk about your experience of getting trained
15:20
and breath work and a little bit about who Wimhof is.
15:23
Maybe you just for my entertainment again, but you
15:26
talked about a little bit about his story.
15:29
You're the method you're trained in and you were you trained
15:31
underneath him or by him or anything.
15:34
Yes. And what the wimhof method is
15:36
like, who he is like, some of that?
15:40
Yeah, so the Wim Hof is a man. He's alive.
15:42
He's in his mid 60s, he's from the Netherlands, and he is
15:48
probably the most influential person as far as bringing cold
15:53
plunging and breathwork to more mainstream like it.
15:58
These things have been around for thousands of years.
16:01
It's nothing new, but it's he, his personality and his charisma
16:06
and his story really brought it to the attention of a lot of
16:10
people that normally wouldn't be finding these things, like
16:13
myself, who was completely unaware of yoga or meditation or
16:17
breath work or any of that stuff before hearing about Wim.
16:20
But yeah, Wim, when he was younger, he was married, had
16:24
four young kids, and his wife suffered from schizophrenia and
16:28
bipolar disorder, and she ended up committing suicide when the
16:33
kids were very young. And what really gravitated me
16:37
toward whim was hearing him talk about that heartache and how he
16:42
used this practice of intentional breathing and cold
16:45
to help him move through the grief and find power to move
16:51
forward as a father to four young kids.
16:53
And that is the thing that was the most impressive to me.
16:57
But outside of that story, he is famous for climbing to the death
17:02
zone of Mount Everest and just shorts and being injected with
17:05
an E coli endotoxin and fighting off the infection with breathing
17:09
and sitting up to his neck in a box of ice for two hours and
17:13
maintaining his core temperature.
17:15
And that stuff's impressive. But it was more that that heart
17:18
connection that I had with him and that led me to trust him
17:23
enough to do this thing. Again, maybe for my
17:25
entertainment one, anything tell us about your favorite story
17:27
you've heard of him because I've heard you talk about other
17:29
things like him swimming with an iceberg or the fact that that
17:32
night with his when his wife like him knowing whether he
17:36
wanted to survive or not and going out learning about cold
17:39
water. Any story for men?
17:40
I'd love to hear again. Yeah.
17:42
Could I share a a story about my personal experience with him?
17:46
Yeah. OK.
17:47
So just to give you an idea of who he is.
17:50
So when I had been practicing this method for a year or so, I
17:53
ended up going out to California to a big Wim Hof live event
17:58
where he was going to be there. And there was about 1000 people
18:01
and we were in Santa Monica and this big amphitheater thing.
18:04
And I had bought like AVIP package so that I would have a
18:09
chance to meet women person because I wanted to just thank
18:12
him for the tremendous influence he'd been on my life and how
18:17
he'd help me change and heal so much.
18:18
And so when when the event was over, which was an amazing
18:22
event, there was a line of maybe 100 or so people that had signed
18:26
up to meet him. And I remember when it was my
18:29
turn to go into the room that he was in, he there was like two or
18:34
three people in front of me and we were in this smaller room.
18:37
And I'm watching these interactions and they're very
18:39
quick. He's just like, oh, yeah,
18:41
brother, come here, take a picture and really quick thing
18:44
then OK, next person. And they're just moving along.
18:46
So it's been a long day. And so when it was my turn, like
18:49
I walked up to him and I didn't, I kind of froze.
18:52
I didn't know what to say. And I just I grabbed him and I
18:56
hugged him and I said, Wim, you saved my life.
18:59
Love you so much. Thank you.
19:00
And, you know, he, he kind of like pulled back a little bit
19:03
and he looked at me and he stopped and he let me go.
19:07
And he literally sat down on this couch and he took a flyer
19:11
that he was like signing autographs and a pen.
19:14
And he turned this flyer over and he just started writing.
19:18
And it was taking like several minutes.
19:20
And I was starting to feel a little bit uncomfortable and
19:23
like I was holding the thing up, but he's just writing, writing,
19:25
writing. Then he folded up and he gets
19:27
up. He puts it in my hand and he
19:29
gives me a hug again. And he says, brother, I will see
19:32
you again. I know it.
19:33
And he handed me this thing and that was it.
19:36
And then I just, I walked away and he had the fact that he saw
19:42
me and felt the emotion that I was sharing in the sincerity of
19:48
it like that. Would that he was willing to
19:52
just take a couple of minutes and personally write something
19:55
to me, A message to me like that told me everything that I needed
20:00
to know about this man's character.
20:03
And his ability to see people and inspire people.
20:06
So that's my favorite whim story to be honest.
20:10
Thanks for, I don't know, like you had a man inspire, you had a
20:14
man that impacted your ability to make it from one day to the
20:17
next. I think just taking this moment
20:20
and recognizing that I've had those people too.
20:23
Yeah, thank, thank God for those people in our recovery that gave
20:29
us some information and some connection to go 1 moment to the
20:34
next. I think it really matters.
20:36
So thank you for sharing that and not keeping it to yourself.
20:39
And I'm blessing the world with that.
20:40
I think it really matters. We're going to take a quick
20:43
break for a moment. I want to let you know of some
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21:53
Let's get back to our episode. Some of the stuff that I enjoyed
21:57
listening to you talk about, besides actually doing breath
22:00
work with you was talking about, and I don't even know the best
22:04
way to get into this. Steven, you would sit with us in
22:06
a room. It was a year that we were in
22:09
and then we would go through breathing practices and breath
22:12
work. And there was different
22:14
modalities, they were different. There was different exercises
22:17
that we would do, you know, box breathing and then other types
22:20
of breathing. What would what would people
22:22
expect if people were like, OK, I need to, you know, for those
22:26
who want maybe choose recovery services, clients are working
22:28
with the therapist and want to start to engage this to better
22:33
their lives. Any thoughts on just what is
22:35
breath work and where to go to get it or how, whether they're
22:39
doing it right, all that kind of stuff.
22:42
Sure. So when when I first started
22:45
working for ILC, my training and expertise was in the Wim Hof
22:49
method. And as I spent more time there
22:52
and I worked with a very large variety of people from all over
22:57
I, I learned that the Wim Hof breathing wasn't always the
23:01
right thing for them at that time or maybe for them at all.
23:06
And so if I was going to be a good breathwork coach, I wanted
23:09
to expand my own knowledge and training beyond just being able
23:15
to offer the Wim Hof method. And, and so another modality of
23:20
breath work that often gets overlooked because it's not as
23:24
showy and exciting would be more on the side of like slow
23:30
breathing and CO2 tolerance. And I learned that through
23:33
what's called the Oxygen Advantage program.
23:36
That is something that people can look up online, just like
23:39
the Wim Hof method. And as I started to learn about
23:43
that and bring that into my life, it showed me a whole
23:46
nother side of breathing that I hadn't really thought of or
23:51
realized. And so when I worked with you, I
23:54
was offering a combination of both, like Wim Hof style and
23:59
Oxygen Advantage. I went through that their
24:01
training program as well, and that can be, I think that can
24:09
reach a broader group, honestly, that the it's the slower
24:13
breathing, but I didn't if someone would have introduced me
24:17
to the slow breathing first, I wouldn't be, we wouldn't be here
24:20
having this conversation. You wouldn't know me.
24:22
My nervous system was wired for excitement and fear and
24:27
adrenaline and and stimulus and the Wim Hof breathing like very
24:32
much like matched that energy in me.
24:35
But it wasn't until like years later that I was like, OK, like
24:39
I need to do I need to explore more in into this.
24:42
And so the oxygen advantage stuff that really helped me
24:46
learn how to slow down in a different way without having to
24:50
do this, like not having to power through my active mind
24:54
with like Wim Hof breathing, but do something more gentle, which
24:57
also helped me sleep better and exercise better and just kind of
25:03
regulate my nervous system. You can get into like what that
25:05
do what that means. But that was that offered me
25:09
more in real time in everyday life tools than the Wim Hof
25:13
method did. The Wim Hof method is a very
25:15
specific set of tools and it has a time and a place, but there's
25:20
so much more to breathing than just like that style of breath
25:24
work. So I don't know if that answered
25:26
the question OK, but maybe it did.
25:28
So you being an adrenaline junkie, you're going to really
25:30
be tied to when and you can correct me if I'm misunderstood
25:33
you. You've been an adrenaline junkie
25:34
was a nice gateway for you in there.
25:36
But to get some more healing or at least be able to help a more
25:39
variety of people. Not everybody's going to want.
25:41
And I think the specifically thinking about watching other
25:44
men you OK, So when I was there, all right, you had a group of
25:50
like 12 guys, OK. And I don't know if you could
25:53
split them down the middle. But when we did the cold
25:55
plunges, it was like half of them were like, no way in hell
25:58
am I going to do that. And the other half were like,
26:00
yeah, let's do it. And I was like, I was one of the
26:03
guys that I had already done a cold plunge.
26:05
So I've seen the value of it, but we're kind of like, I don't
26:08
want to touch. I know you.
26:09
I'm not going to do it Like I'm not going to.
26:12
And I get that because I'm almost hearing there are types
26:15
of breath work that are going to access maybe a different if you
26:18
experience more if you're outside of your window of
26:20
tolerance, more shut down, more walled off compared to less in
26:24
fight flight, more in like freeze mode.
26:28
Maybe some types of breath work or matter for you than others is
26:33
that you want to clean that up at all.
26:36
Sure. So when some people, when some
26:40
people experience like high levels of stress or like a
26:44
stressful situation, like not everybody goes into fight or
26:48
flight. Some people go into shutdown,
26:51
which would be the extreme side of like parasympathetic, right?
26:55
If we're, you know, sympathetic is the fight or flight
26:58
parasympathetic, the rest and and digest.
27:00
And so there's this kind of this everybody lumps like stress and
27:05
the way we handle stress on this one side of it.
27:08
But that's not the case for everybody.
27:10
And I'm one of those people that when I feel the weight coming
27:14
down on me, I don't fight it. I go into shut down.
27:17
And that's not like I don't want to get lost in the weeds here,
27:22
because when I was an officer, in every time I ever felt
27:25
threatened by a direct threat, I was a fighter.
27:28
But when it was just like the stresses of life coming down on
27:32
me, like I tend to go into shut down.
27:33
And so some people, they're going to respond well to that
27:37
more active breathing, but but other people are not.
27:40
And so having different approaches allow me to give
27:45
everyone something that they could use.
27:47
Yeah, so don't give up if maybe you've done a version of breath
27:51
work and it hasn't hit so much home, just recognizing there's
27:53
different methods or modalities to get because what we're
27:57
looking for is we're looking for a tumor inside of ourselves with
28:00
ourselves. We're looking to connect, not
28:02
live from the neck up being connected with what's happening
28:04
inside of us to be able to get self regulate.
28:07
What do you see in with the men that you work with at ILC or any
28:12
other place? What do you see in men who are
28:14
trying to heal cognitively but are still disconnected from
28:18
their bodies? Like how does breath work help
28:21
with craving, anxiety, shame, or emotional flooding?
28:24
Does that question make sense? Yes.
28:28
So it's, it's a really easy way to, when you start to
28:35
intentionally breathe, you're, you're going to start to feel
28:39
things in the body. And so it's, it really helps you
28:44
get out of this noise and deeper into the body because you
28:48
literally feel physical sensations when you do it,
28:52
especially when it's more on the, the activating side.
28:56
And like a Wim Hof style of breathing exercise.
28:59
When we do a Wim Hof style of a breathing exercise, this is what
29:04
this is really made for is this situation that you're describing
29:07
here. So when I do that style of
29:09
breathing, without getting too sciency, what we're doing is
29:13
we're reducing a little bit of oxygen to the prefrontal cortex
29:18
where we are holding all of the judgement and the story and the
29:22
perception of time and where we keep that wall up, right?
29:27
And as we move through the breathing and we start to feel
29:30
the tingling and the vibration in the body and like the warmth
29:33
and the cooling effects, we start to focus on that.
29:37
And at the same time, those walls start to come down.
29:41
And then our body's ability to laugh or to cry, like those
29:46
things, it just gets easier. Like the more that we do that
29:49
exercise, right? And you're literally giving
29:52
yourself so much below the head stimulus that it's really hard
29:58
to focus on anything that's going on up in the mind.
30:01
And the body's able to just move energy without you having to
30:05
even connect a story to it. Sometimes people, I get feedback
30:09
that I started crying, but I don't really know why.
30:11
I wasn't necessarily sad, but my body was just moving.
30:15
It was just moving something or they start laughing and they
30:17
don't know why. Or sometimes they're laughing
30:21
about something that normally makes them cry.
30:23
They're just they're able to feel it and perceive it in a
30:25
completely different way. So it's like we're really like
30:28
shaking up the snow globe with the breathing exercise.
30:32
And then people often when we're done, it's like they thought it
30:35
was 10 minutes but we were doing it for 60 and something really
30:38
get to feel what it's like to be out of their head and out of all
30:42
that control all the time so. This is where a really good
30:45
practitioner like Steven Y'all will be so instrumental in this
30:48
because they will just provide so much compassion and so much
30:51
normalizing our body, responding in ways that we don't understand
30:54
and saying that's wonderful, that's beautiful because women
30:58
just have this thing that sometimes, OK, I'll be too black
31:01
or white with this, so hang with me.
31:03
Like when I'm watched women do breath work or do type somatic
31:06
type work, they're OK with the unexplained, the kind of the
31:09
little bit of the part that doesn't make a lot of sense.
31:12
They'll allow their bodies to respond and they'll trust their
31:14
bodies, they'll trust their senses.
31:15
And men are like, I'm going to understand it up here in order
31:18
for it to make sense. Otherwise, I won't accept it.
31:21
I'll reject. And so much of our body
31:23
responding is exactly what we need is whether we're rejecting
31:26
it or accepting or not and allowing more of it to happen.
31:29
Allowing, yes. Allowing, yeah, Potential.
31:33
That's what a good breath park practitioner does is they
31:35
encourage you, they go, that's wonderful, nice work.
31:38
And that was hard. That wasn't easy, but it's all
31:41
that kind of stuff. Do you want to think any of that
31:42
up? No, I love it.
31:44
But I did want to share a little quick story just that totally
31:47
relates to this. So just yesterday my session
31:49
with the men, I had two gentlemen that were in their 70s
31:53
that were your typical that generation just breath work not
31:59
on their radar at all like that older generation.
32:02
They don't share their feelings, they don't talk about.
32:04
They were very resistant and not really believe in anything that
32:07
I was talking about during the lecture part.
32:09
And then when we did the breath work experience by the end,
32:13
those were the two men in the room that were bawling their
32:15
eyes out and having a huge experience.
32:18
And so even these old crusty guys that were very stubborn and
32:22
thought this was weird hippie stuff, like they were the two
32:26
that that really had a powerful experience because we just
32:30
powered through all that noise and got them into their bodies.
32:33
And they were, I don't want to share maybe their personal like
32:36
what was bringing on the emotion, but they shared and it
32:39
was really beautiful. Really beautiful so and men that
32:44
do this work, they're so brave. They're so courageous.
32:46
Yes, I'll watch them. Then they cry and and just have
32:51
these feelings and create an opportunity for vulnerability.
32:54
So brave. And so I always like to have
32:57
some piece of the podcast, hopefully more than less, where
33:02
we can speak to the partners, the betrayed partners, because a
33:05
lot of our listeners are the betraying partner.
33:09
And we got half of the listeners here.
33:11
They're actually the betrayed partner.
33:13
They want to know what their partners experience.
33:15
They want to know what healing actually looks like.
33:17
They're like, is he doing his work?
33:19
And they like listening to the podcast and to know what the
33:23
what's happening over on the other side.
33:24
Do you have any message for them?
33:28
Because they're they're they're over there going like what's
33:30
happening? What does healing actually look
33:32
like? What does recovery look like?
33:34
And what are you noticing with that Are men are doing that are
33:37
getting the healing? This is coming from personal
33:41
experience, but also when with what I've seen, when someone
33:48
speaks about an event from the past from a completely different
33:55
perspective. Like I, I, I think that's when
33:58
you know, the work is happening. When they can view an event that
34:01
happened to them or something that they did and they don't see
34:05
it anymore as they're able to find the gift and the beauty in
34:10
that event. You know, I think that's when a
34:16
real change has occurred, like on a subconscious level on
34:19
either side. When they're able to.
34:22
Yeah, to again, to speak about an event or something from the
34:25
past and see the gift and the beauty in it and how it like
34:28
helped them grow and they're no longer beating themselves up
34:32
about it or they're no longer angry when it's brought up on on
34:36
other side. That's a good indication that a
34:39
real healing moment has occurred When we can ship that from
34:45
something victim related or we come out of victimhood, we see
34:49
the gift like something like that.
34:51
I don't I don't want to like repeat myself too much, but
34:54
hopefully that makes sense what I'm saying.
34:56
Sometimes the repetition good because it just cements has a
35:00
chance to cement a little bit more.
35:02
OK, Steven, so it was so good to have you today.
35:04
Obviously there's AI saw a ton of value.
35:07
We can't bypass the somatic work.
35:09
I don't believe the healing happens unless we get that
35:11
healing inside of ourselves. And I think you gave us some
35:15
good evidence, just some shared some experience of what that
35:18
healing can look like. Maybe made it a little less
35:21
vague for some clients are like, what is somatic healing?
35:24
What is breath work? But I do want to give people an
35:29
opportunity to know more about you.
35:31
You know, my dream is to have you come to one of our
35:33
intensives, whether it's a helper heal intensive or or
35:37
unmasked intensive that you come out and people get a chance to
35:40
meet you through that. But if people want to get a hold
35:42
of you outside of that, where's a good place they can go to get
35:45
with you? Because I'm aware that you
35:46
travel, that you're, you can meet people again, they want to
35:50
get here to Utah. But how could people get to know
35:53
more about you? How could they meet you and?
35:55
So I, I would send them to stephenrockezella.com.
35:58
If they have social media, it's on Instagram, it's Steven under
36:03
score, Rockazella. Those would be the two like ways
36:06
over the over the Internet that people could reach me or just
36:10
like my e-mail stevenrocazella@gmail.com.
36:14
Just this is my name. So yeah, people can reach out.
36:17
I'm happy too. Let's spell that down.
36:19
Let's spell that. We'll put it in the show notes,
36:21
but if people want to write it down right now, can you spell
36:24
your last name? Never spell it for.
36:26
Yeah, it says Stephen Steven And then last name ROCCAZZELLA. 11
36:35
double letters in there, Yeah. And then, and then what was
36:39
your, what was your e-mail? It would be
36:42
stephen.rocasella@gmail.com. And yeah, I'm happy to do Zoom
36:47
sessions, just little consultation calls.
36:50
And I would obviously, I would always point people to the Wim
36:53
Hof method and to Oxygen Advantage to they can go to
36:56
those websites and get more information if that's
36:58
interesting to them. So yeah.
37:01
Pleasure. Anything you want to close with?
37:03
Anything else you want to share before we wrap out?
37:05
But just this, thank you for this and I really appreciate you
37:08
seeing me and enough to want to allow me to be on your podcast
37:12
and share this with you. I've really enjoyed talking to
37:15
you and I hope it's not the last time we get to do something like
37:17
this. Oh, it won't be.
37:19
It won't be as long as you're in.
37:21
Yeah. Thank you again.
37:22
All right, everybody, just maybe to closeout our podcast, the
37:25
invitation I have for you is if you take a look at your recovery
37:29
and you take a look back and your experiences and if healing
37:32
is not living from the neck up, and if it's understanding how
37:36
you feel, how, how much do you notice what happens inside you?
37:40
Can you name it? Can I say I'm feeling anxious
37:43
and I feel anxiousness because I'm filling out my chest.
37:47
I'm feeling like I want to run. It's in my extremities, like,
37:50
how much can we notice? Because once we notice what our
37:52
body's saying, then we won't have to respond in some
37:55
maladaptive way that gets us acting outside of our values.
37:59
Anyway, good to spend time with you today.
38:01
We'll continue on the conversation next time.
38:03
And thank you for your time, Steven.
38:07
You're welcome. Thank you, Luke.
38:11
If you've been doing everything you can to heal, listening to
38:14
the podcast, reading the books, going to therapy, and you still
38:17
feel the impact of betrayal in your body and nervous system,
38:20
this message is for you. The Revive and Thrive Somatic
38:23
Healing Intensive is designed for women who know that talking
38:28
and processing have helped and have been important, but also
38:31
feel that something deeper is still holding on.
38:34
Betrayal doesn't just live in your story, it lives in your
38:36
body. And if we don't address the
38:38
physical imprint of trauma, we may be missing the very thing
38:41
that could help you take the next step forward.
38:44
My name is Hallie Roderick, and as a professional and a woman
38:46
who's walked this healing journey myself, I'm honored to
38:49
be part of a skilled and compassionate team that holds us
38:52
intensive. Together, we create a safe,
38:54
supported, and deeply guided environment where women can heal
38:58
from the inside out. You won't just learn about
39:01
somatic healing, you'll experience it through breath
39:03
work, movement, nervous system regulation, and embodied
39:07
practices that help your system. Finally, exhale.
39:10
You can find all the details in the show notes, and I would
39:12
truly love the opportunity to spend some time with you in
39:15
person as we do this healing work together.
39:24
Hey, thanks for joining us today.
39:26
If this is something that you connected with, I'd love to meet
39:29
with you more and talk about it. So what you can do is go to
39:31
chooserecoveryservices.com or check the show notes and there
39:35
what we can do is set up a quick conversation needs.
39:38
Thanks so much for listening to Beyond the Facade where we
39:40
unmask the authentic self.