Latest / Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage / A Score to Settle

Transcript

A Score to Settle · Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage

0:01
Oh, God. I got to just always be recording. Don't
0:25
do that. Nick and I say bad things that should
0:28
not be recorded for posterity. Oh, so let's just
0:30
not do the podcast anymore? I've been saying
0:32
this for years. That's true. So how you been,
0:36
Daryl? Yeah, pretty good. Pretty good. Just saying,
0:39
surviving the heat wave over here. So it's like
0:41
low 30s, which is like, what, 80, 85 Fahrenheit
0:45
or something. Thanks for dumbing that down for
0:47
me. It's what we do here. And obviously the UK
0:50
accommodate us. Obviously, UK infrastructure
0:54
is not built for a heat wave, so we don't believe
0:58
in AC here. So underneath this shirt, I am dripping.
1:01
I am so hot. So multiple points in this, you're
1:05
just going to hear me go, and just fight for
1:09
my life. I mean, we hear Nick make those noises
1:11
all the time. Yeah. We're men in our 40s. As
1:14
Daryl dies on that end of the call, I'll just
1:17
be making the same noise for different reasons
1:19
on this end. Just busting. When I'm slumped like
1:22
this, just wrap up for me. I'll do my best Daryl
1:28
impression. Yeah, perfect. There we go. I had
1:32
a dream about that yesterday. Daryl dying? No,
1:34
about you doing a Daryl impression. Oh, interesting.
1:36
It would not go great. It didn't. It was hilarious.
1:40
Daryl, I was trying to remember, how many episodes
1:42
have you been on with us at this point? You helped
1:45
us coin Honey Won't Melt Steel Beams, a permanent
1:48
gem. You were on the D &D podcast episodes. You
1:55
were a guest on another one, weren't you? I would
1:58
say it's been three episodes. Wicker Man was
2:00
one of them. Wicker Man next? No. What's the
2:09
math one? Knowing. Knowing. I think it was knowing.
2:11
It was knowing because you talked about a giant
2:13
butt plug spaceship. Oh, yeah. Sounds like me.
2:16
I think it definitely spoke about Spider -Man
2:19
at some point as well. That feels familiar. Oh,
2:21
yeah, we did. Sucking and chucking. Sucking and
2:24
fucking. Sucking and fucking. I like how Michael
2:29
Caine might come out of retirement for a Vin
2:30
Diesel sequel. A Vin Diesel sequel? For Last
2:35
Witch Hunter. I love Vin Diesel 1. I can't wait
2:39
for more. No, I did not know that. There's rumblings.
2:45
Interesting. What a weird one to come out of
2:47
retirement for. I mean, you know, Charles III
2:50
bought his mom that great house. It's true. When
2:53
the money's right. I'm sure he's got, you know,
2:56
illegitimate children who need money. Oh, yeah,
2:58
of course. You're a celebrity. Yeah. You're Michael
3:01
fucking Kane. Yeah. You definitely sucked and
3:04
fucked. I've died by a fair share of sack of
3:07
good fucking. I love that movie. That movie is
3:11
really good. I was thinking about that the other
3:13
day. This is a good movie. You know what movie
3:15
I didn't love? This one. Yeah. And what movie
3:18
are we talking about, Sean? Oh, it's got such
3:21
a generic name. Out for Vengeance, Payback, For
3:25
Blood. You're close. You're getting there. Starts
3:28
with an S. There's something to be... Something
3:30
to be somethinged. A score to settle. Yeah. You
3:36
got there. Yeah. No help needed. This movie was
3:38
just the most generic worst thing. Welcome to
3:44
the bottom of the barrel, people. I loved it.
3:46
We started it up, and from the very first interaction,
3:49
I was like, oh, he dead. It's like, you can't
3:52
sixth sense me twice. Yeah, they did not do a
3:56
very good job. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool
3:57
me twice. Well, you can't fool me twice. Welcome
4:00
back to Cage Magical and Roundabout with me,
4:02
Nicholas Cage. I just got my coffee. Give me
4:05
a break. I'm Sean, here with my co -host. Nick.
4:08
And our producer. Peter, hello. And back again,
4:12
Daryl Edge of Cage Rage and getting to foe you.
4:16
Hello, you get me once a year and you've cashed
4:18
in on this, you idiots. Let's go. We don't have
4:22
a lot left. I believe I pitched out the options
4:25
to you, Daryl, and you claimed this one. You
4:28
can't prove that except for the chat where that
4:30
happened. Damn you, paper trail. I think that
4:36
you have a soft spot for this, but prove me wrong.
4:40
This is just one of those where it's like only
4:43
the Cage aficionados are going to look for it,
4:45
but there's a lot of good Cage content in it.
4:47
I was kind of surprised by that because I thought
4:49
this was going to be just ham -faced Cage the
4:52
whole time, especially because he starts the
4:53
movie with that snarl lip that he had for the
4:55
2019 movies. I think that's permanent now. It
4:59
might be. I think he's learned to smile again.
5:02
He found joy after 2019. And I was really thinking
5:05
that we were just going to get kind of the nothing
5:07
photocopy of a photocopy of Cage, but he kind
5:10
of does a good job. Yeah, he tried all the way
5:12
through. Yeah. The script sucks. I mean, it's
5:16
pretty, pretty awful, pretty blocky. But Nick
5:19
Cage kind of does give it his all. I do have
5:22
to say from the first scene of this movie, when
5:25
we see a young, what's his character name? It's
5:28
not Joey. That's the only name I remember. Joey's
5:30
character? Frank. Frank. Frankie. Frankie. When
5:33
we see a young Frankie and I see this guy, I'm
5:36
like, if you didn't know what young Nick Cage
5:38
looked like, if you only seen him now, I'd look
5:41
at that guy and be like, yeah, that might be
5:42
a young Nick Cage. Yeah, it doesn't help us because
5:44
we started with like watching young Nick Cage
5:47
movies and it's like, oh, right. We know what
5:49
he really did look like. But I'm like, that was
5:51
a decent facsimile, I thought. I had to get to
5:54
the time jump to be like, oh, OK, that was him
5:56
as a youth, a youth. I wasn't sure either, but
5:59
I'm like, it'd be really weird if they had that
6:01
guy. not play young nick cage like if he came
6:05
back at the end and it's like what the fuck was
6:06
that scene about yeah yeah nothing else is about
6:09
that baseball bat we're just just a very big
6:12
baseball bat beating enthusiasts so when i started
6:15
this movie up i was like okay this feels like
6:18
one of those movies that's going to have six
6:20
production studios And it had seven intro cards.
6:24
Oh, nice. Incredible. Once we hit Saturn, I was
6:29
like, oh, I didn't even count. But there was
6:31
no way I was rewinding at that point. I was in.
6:33
At Saturn, there were two more. Yeah. You just
6:36
say six, seven. I'm doing it. God damn it, Daryl.
6:41
No. It finally got over the water, over the pond.
6:46
People are doing it. It's not going to be cool
6:48
anymore. Oh, yeah. The day that I saw some old
6:51
dude do it at a hockey game and they just like
6:54
kind of held on him for a second and then everybody
6:57
got real sad. I was like, cool, it's dead. We
7:01
saw it die a death. Yeah, just old dudes at hockey
7:04
games. Hell yeah. So, yeah, I mean, like running
7:07
through the characters in this, there's not that
7:09
many that even matter. So you've got Nick Cage
7:12
as Frank, his son played by Noah Legro, who was
7:16
also in the old way, apparently, which. I think
7:20
still to date, I didn't actually watch that movie.
7:22
It might be one of the few that I haven't seen.
7:24
Oh, yeah. I think that was one that just Sean
7:26
and I recorded. Yeah. OK. And we've watched it
7:29
again for fun. I don't know why. I don't either.
7:33
Gross. What's wrong with you guys? Your brains
7:36
are bad. I mean, we did it to ourselves. We could
7:38
just watch that fucking Buffalo Hunter one again.
7:41
No. No. I'll probably watch it again. I would
7:44
just watch Gunslingers again. Daryl, did you
7:48
see Gunslingers? You must have. I have seen Gunslingers.
7:52
My favorite part of Gunslingers, this is only
7:54
for the eagle -eyed Cage viewer, and spoilers
7:57
if you haven't seen it, when those two people
7:59
who don't matter go into that cave to get all
8:01
the weapons and they've got all the posters,
8:03
there's a poster of Nicolas Cage from a different
8:05
film. uh from the old way and i was like you
8:08
thought i wouldn't notice i pointed that out
8:10
yeah yeah sean clocked that i just love the way
8:15
that voice doing that for the podcast record
8:24
fucked my voice up so bad i had like a week of
8:28
damaged throat yeah i tried to do it immediately
8:30
when i was watching it i was like oh he's he's
8:32
doing his miles davis impression um Which is,
8:35
of course, Nick Cage has a Miles Davis in his
8:38
repertoire. Of course he does. It looks like
8:40
a baby angel. Fuck me, that hurts. I don't feel
8:44
good when I do that voice. So then the only other
8:46
like important characters, there's a sex worker
8:49
named Simone slash Jennifer. And then, of course,
8:54
Benjamin Bratt is a character just named Q. Yeah.
8:57
And then there's some other like miscellaneous
8:59
goon types. The dragon. Tank. That's Jimmy the
9:06
Dragon for you. I really enjoyed the bellhop
9:08
kid. He was like, I don't know about those nursing
9:13
homes, mister. I'll give you 500 bucks. He is
9:17
just throwing wads of cash. It doesn't count
9:20
a single bit of money. Just wadding all over.
9:25
This is my kind of movie. Okay, Daryl, give us
9:29
the summary of this fucking movie, because there's
9:31
not that much. So it's basically an ex -criminal
9:34
who is now a deeply sleepy man in jail for some
9:39
of that sweet vengeance. I don't know if there's
9:42
much more to say than that. Kind of not. He reconnects
9:47
with his son. I just love that he's terminally
9:49
tired. Terminally tired, refuses to sleep. Oh,
9:54
thinking about the premise of this movie just
9:56
kills me again. I googled it. It's a real disease.
10:00
i mean i believe that it was it just seemed like
10:02
what a weird choice for this like you could just
10:04
make him have kind of lost his mind in prison
10:06
for having taken the fall and it was supposed
10:08
to be like five years in the joint and it turned
10:10
into life and the only reason he got out is because
10:13
he had this condition he would have just fucking
10:15
died in prison yeah i think my favorite thing
10:17
was that they tell him like oh you've got really
10:19
bad insomnia it could kill you give you hallucinations
10:22
and this that and the other and then they release
10:24
him at night time when people go to bed I was
10:28
like, I don't think the U .S. prison system cares
10:29
that much. And they just watch them wander up
10:33
the road. Yeah, they're kind of just a big fuck
10:36
you. Yeah, I do feel like it's the most inconvenient
10:39
time possible is when they will open the doors.
10:42
Absolutely. I got let out at three in the morning
10:44
one time. Oh, it's like, who the fuck let somebody
10:47
out at three in the morning from like, they're
10:48
just hoping to get swept up again. Yeah. Fucking
10:51
assholes. Cops suck. They do suck. This movie
10:55
didn't have a lot of cops. The correctional system
10:56
is even worse because they're not. Oh, yeah.
10:59
They are worse. Yeah. Did you just admit it's
11:02
like crime? Are you a criminal? Am I talking
11:04
with like criminal? You've admitted to a crime
11:08
every time Daryl's been on. I think you've admitted
11:10
to crimes on many episodes. Yeah, I think there's
11:12
a pretty solid double digit percentage of episodes
11:16
on this podcast where I've admitted to having
11:19
crimed. Yeah. Yeah. It's fine. And you probably
11:22
admitted crimes on here that you didn't get hemmed
11:25
up for. Oh, yeah. But there's probably a statute
11:27
of limitations. Probably. Who doesn't love a
11:29
statute? I know. OK, so he gets let out of prison.
11:33
and he immediately sees his son walking down
11:35
the nighttime road which i had not i had already
11:39
lost interest in this movie at this point we're
11:41
like seven minutes in and i had looked down for
11:43
a second and looked back up and i was like wait
11:45
his son is here so i rewound it and i was like
11:47
oh he's a ghost yeah he like fades in it's not
11:50
even trying to hide it i missed that because
11:53
i was so upset with his hoodie I could not focus.
11:59
I'm like, why do you have a hoodie with no sleeves?
12:01
It's got short sleeves. Yeah, it did have sleeves.
12:03
They were just very short. Yeah, it's just like
12:05
that seems so pointless. It's for shooting up.
12:07
Yeah, I know you want to get to the veins quicker.
12:10
There you go. Science reason. Yeah. So his duck,
12:13
his fucking dumb ass son is there. Joey, who
12:16
looks like shit. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's always
12:18
got those stupid bags under his eyes. Hella bags.
12:21
Yeah. And he's like, kind of a dick. But kind
12:24
of nice. I don't know. It's weird. And he doesn't
12:26
touch anything. No. He never lifts his hands
12:29
to touch anything. He doesn't eat. Yeah. Doesn't
12:31
eat. He won't drive the car. I mean, obviously,
12:33
because he's a ghost. Yeah. A hallucination.
12:36
Yeah. Not even a ghost. Not even a ghost. This
12:38
isn't even a cool paranormal story. It's just
12:41
Dumb Dumb got tired and started to bug and see
12:44
his kid. So they go and they dig up a bag of
12:48
money. And a cabbie sits on the side of a road
12:51
for like an hour, which there's no chance that
12:55
guy would have stayed. Oh, no. He'd be like,
12:57
oh, there's no one else in the car. Right. He's
13:01
been talking to nobody and gets out of the car.
13:04
He's like, I'll be back in two minutes. Casually
13:08
peruses some photograph books and finds a shovel.
13:12
Oh, my God. As soon as he picked up a shovel,
13:14
I was like, this isn't a two minute thing. Got
13:16
to wander into the back nine. Yeah, dig up your
13:19
money sack, which is what he does. Money sack
13:23
and baseball bat. One bloody baseball bat. Right.
13:26
A plot device. Right. I can word. But he also
13:29
made baseball bats in the joint. Yeah. And was
13:33
just handing them out like candy. It was just
13:35
to give that one drug gun runner lady's kid a
13:38
bat. He also gave his dead son a bat. Yeah, he
13:41
tried to, but his kid was like. How would that
13:43
work? He's just holding it out and then just
13:44
like it clacks on the ground and his brain is
13:46
like. Did he even, like, take the bat? I don't
13:50
think so. Yeah. No. I can imagine he would just
13:53
hallucinate even holding it. Didn't Joey hold
13:56
the baseball card at one point, though? Because
13:58
he was like, I could sell this. Nope. He held
14:00
it up to him and he was like, I could sell that.
14:02
And he's like, well, please don't. Okay. And
14:04
then he puts it back in his pocket. I think he
14:06
was going to take a bat and then Cage was like.
14:09
Not that one. It's not maple. It's beech. You
14:12
don't want to wear a beech bat. Not birch. You
14:14
don't like birch. He was going to grab the murder
14:16
bat. He was going to grab the bloody bat. The
14:18
bloody bat, yeah. It wasn't the optimal bat.
14:20
Yeah, you don't want a fucking birch bat. What
14:22
are you, a bitch? Fuck. Fuck. Why did you bring
14:25
it if I can't have it, dad? Birch -ass bitch.
14:29
But he also boasts about getting worldwide orders.
14:32
Yeah. I love that he just carries around this
14:36
evidence, this piece of evidence. I know the
14:39
whole time. Well, I was going to use it for some
14:42
sweet revenge. Yeah, but he's just like in a
14:44
duffel bag walking around town with a he's for
14:48
also talking to nobody. Yeah. The scene of him
14:51
where they like show all the scenes where he
14:53
was out with Joey and it's just like him like
14:55
sad alone. Like that's depressing. Yeah. Yeah.
14:59
The big reveal later when it's like he's been
15:01
dead the whole time. What? And then it's just
15:03
all these cut scenes of Nick Cage just sitting
15:05
by himself. That guy's ordering a lot of food
15:11
himself. I meant to look up, how much was that
15:13
car? I don't know how much that car was. Under
15:16
$450 ,000. Right. Well, less than that because
15:19
he had $100 ,000 left for Simone at the end.
15:22
Right. And he paid, he bought so much stuff with
15:25
cash that you can't just buy with cash. Like
15:28
what? Going to a hotel. Well, these were different
15:31
times. It was like. Actually, I think you probably
15:34
still can pay cash at a hotel. You need ID. Yeah.
15:37
He probably had ID. From 20 years ago. Yeah,
15:40
it's just got a hole punched in it. Yeah, whatever.
15:43
That's what we do to show that IDs are not valid
15:46
anymore. They're expired. You are living in the
15:50
future. I know, we have hole punches for everything
15:53
these days. Yeah, just straight through that
15:54
plastic. Yeah. We just have IDs forever because
15:58
no one checks and gives a shit. Young forever,
16:01
baby. Oh. That's the way. So they get a bunch
16:07
of money. They buy a bunch of shit. There's a
16:09
weird presentation of a cell phone in a box,
16:12
but it's like a jewelry box. Yeah. Daddy's first
16:17
smartphone. Daddy's first smartphone. Never even
16:20
got to crank up some porno on it. I know. You
16:23
didn't need to. You got that sweet, sweet sex
16:25
worker sex. Also, OK. He probably could have
16:29
warmed up with a little porno. Yeah. I am not
16:32
a sexual dynamo. But in my understanding, if
16:36
you are the one being ridden, I don't think you
16:40
usually get the accolades of nice work. If you're
16:42
paying them, you do. Fair enough. He's paying
16:46
like $1 ,000 a go. If they're just like, well,
16:50
that was fine. I'm like, what am I paying for
16:52
here? You're supposed to lie to me. Oh, my God.
16:56
That was the best I've ever had. And it's like,
16:58
you just wrote an old man's dick. That's it.
17:01
You didn't do anything. You didn't do anything.
17:04
Way to not bust too fast. Yep. Nice work. It's
17:07
all sad and old and confusing. He pays like another
17:09
thousand in advance. He's like, there you go.
17:11
Like, you know how to make a woman feel special.
17:13
Well, that's what you do, right? He's been in
17:16
the slammer for 19 years from young cage to old
17:19
cage. Let's be honest, age like milk. And then
17:24
he goes, so it's like, go bang a woman. okay
17:29
there was one there was one scene later where
17:32
his son is like so you're gonna tell me about
17:34
fucking that lady yeah and he uses a phrase making
17:37
mercury oh yeah is that i've never heard that
17:42
before I'm Googling making Mercury slang. You're
17:46
telling me you made Mercury and you're not even
17:48
going to tell me about it? You're my 20 -year
17:50
-old son. No, I'm not going to talk about fucking
17:53
a prostitute. I will say he did age terribly
17:57
in jail, but also I'm so glad because at this
17:59
era of Cage, we would just have 20 -year time
18:02
jumps and they would just have Nick Cage play
18:03
a 20 -year -old younger Nick Cage. Yeah, they
18:06
just wouldn't have done the hair makeup. Yeah.
18:12
Not even Google has got anything. It's all astrological,
18:15
like all Mercury and retrograde. It's nothing.
18:18
What about Google? Are you not on that one? Just
18:22
Google? Google? Have you ever gotten to the end
18:26
of Google? It's a weird, scary place. I don't
18:28
like it. No, but have you ever Googled anything
18:30
and it's like, we don't have an answer for that?
18:32
Oh, yeah. It's weird. It's weird. I don't like
18:34
it. It's scary. Nowadays, they just filter in
18:36
sponsored stuff at that point. Yeah, exactly.
18:38
They fill the gap. So let's see. They buy a bunch
18:41
of shit. He goes and buys a gun. The revenge
18:43
tour begins by buying a gun from that lady. Who
18:46
was the daughter of one of his old crewmates.
18:51
Yeah, just irrelevant. And then she had a kid
18:53
and he's like, it comes full circle. Have a baseball
18:56
bat. Yeah. Do a murder with this when you're
18:59
19. These swing real good. Yeah. I love that
19:04
he was getting like commission requests while
19:06
in prison making bats. He was like, people. People
19:10
used to line up to get bats from me. It's like,
19:13
hmm, I don't know about that. I think you hallucinate
19:16
all of your customers. Do you think he put his
19:18
name Frankie Fingers on the bats? Because, like,
19:21
it would burn it in. Here's a bat from prison
19:25
from Frankie Fingers. Honestly, that's a pretty
19:29
cool, like, prison bat memorabilia kind of thing.
19:33
I would be into that. Yeah, fair enough. There
19:36
was a guy in county named The Wizard. Did he
19:43
have a maple pole? I didn't check his pole. I
19:47
think I was a little too old and suspecting.
19:52
So Daryl, I'm guessing you didn't go to the joint
19:54
ever. Only the prison of the mind. Did we ever
19:59
truly leave the prison of the mind? I've never
20:03
been in the slammer. I've only ever seen it on
20:05
TV, but people just throw boiling hot water in
20:08
your face all the time. Sean Bean's probably
20:11
in there like, oh, please don't stop me. You
20:14
get de -loused a lot. Yeah, exactly. Shawshank
20:17
Redemption style. Yeah. Just long -handled brush.
20:24
You don't want to get too close. No, they don't
20:26
want to get lice or louses. They don't want to
20:30
be lousy. Lousy with lousy. No, I mean, I don't
20:35
know that I'd start a prison Etsy business for
20:38
making baseball bats, though. Does the prison
20:42
take a cut of your take? I feel like you're co
20:46
-opting culture at that point. I'm going to need
20:50
to join a gang, and I am ambiguous at best. That's
20:53
true. You could probably fit in with the native
20:55
crowd. If I ever started a blog ranking hot dogs,
20:59
I would be able to rank... Columbia County Jail.
21:02
Where would they rank? Very low. Wasn't it just
21:06
white bread? It was white bread with just mustard
21:09
poured over it and two just hot dogs steamed
21:13
or whatever sitting there. Or maybe boiled. Probably
21:16
boiled. Yeah. Big batch boiled wieners. White
21:20
bread and mustard. The terrible thing to wake
21:23
up to when you're really, really, really hungover.
21:25
Well, you were vegetarian at the time too. And
21:26
I was a vegetarian, yeah. doubly doubly not good
21:30
this one got you off vegetarianism no did you
21:33
eat the dogs yeah i'm pretty hungry yeah very
21:38
bad it's already gonna wreak havoc on your system
21:40
anyway might as well yeah you know make that
21:44
first jail shit really worth it one that fucking
21:48
gets everybody away from you like nah i don't
21:51
want that ass i heard what happened and life
21:55
ain't for the weak OK, so revenge tour starts.
21:58
He goes to meet Q, Benjamin Bratt, who is owns
22:03
a bar now called Q. Yeah, they're Q's place or
22:07
some shit. I like Benjamin Bratt. Yeah, he's
22:10
the only other like actually decent actor. The
22:12
only other person in this movie I recognized.
22:14
Yeah, I didn't. I don't know who that is. Benjamin
22:18
Bratt. Yeah, I don't know. That's fine. Yeah,
22:19
it doesn't matter. I'm really bad at faces and
22:21
names and things like that, though. He replaced
22:23
Jimmy Smith says. bail organa in various star
22:27
wars properties oh okay that's nice yeah i you
22:31
know what i'm for that jimmy schmitz was a little
22:33
chubby i i don't like a fat bail organa doesn't
22:37
do it for me give me that sleek slender slender
22:41
bail organa aerodynamic billy bratt benjamin
22:46
but benny bratt benny bratt i said it first the
22:49
whole time yep Okay, Daryl, I want you to describe
22:52
what happens with the dragon, though. So one
22:56
of the only other named characters is a guy called
22:58
Jimmy the Dragon, who Cage used to run with at
23:02
some point. I feel like every character he meets
23:05
is like, we used to have some fun back in the
23:07
day, huh? Well, they're mobsters. How do you
23:11
get another mobster so they don't talk like that?
23:13
We're always reminiscent. Can't live in the present.
23:16
Oh, we used to have some fun, huh? He has a dragon
23:19
tattoo. He is at some kind of adult parlor where
23:24
he suns around, full hoggies out. They don't
23:27
call me the dragon because of my tattoo, it's
23:29
because of my cock. They call me Jimmy the Dragon
23:31
because of my dragon cock. And they have a little
23:34
scuffle, at which point Jimmy the Dragon manages
23:38
to get fully dressed into like a green tracksuit
23:40
off camera, which is great. I didn't understand
23:42
how he got fully dressed. When did that happen?
23:44
He ran out of the room. Nick Cage runs after
23:46
him and he like... The dragon tackles him in
23:49
a full green tracksuit. Sprays him with an aerosol
23:52
can. It's probably the same aerosol can that
23:56
he painted that beard on with. That thing was
23:59
filled in. I do like all the silk robes that
24:02
came running out of the rooms. Yeah, they couldn't
24:05
get past my cage. So then he escapes. My favorite
24:08
part about the escape, though, Jimmy the dragon
24:10
gets the upper hand, but as he runs off, he goes...
24:16
I love it when bad guys run away and laugh. It's
24:19
like, we'll meet again, Frank Carver. It's the
24:22
last of all dragon boy here. Grabs onto a rope
24:27
and flies away on a giant Chinese paper lantern.
24:30
That was convenient and incredible. So the dragon's
24:36
gone, but still in the wind somewhere. So then
24:39
you go see the other guy, Tank, who's just like,
24:42
I deserve this. A mellow butcher. Yeah. Yeah.
24:46
Just hanging slab. Used to have some fun back
24:50
in the day, huh? Frank, I'm pretty sorry. That's
24:58
it. Didn't put up a fight. Nope. Yeah, what a
25:00
fucking worthless scene. Like, it just shows
25:03
up. Okay. The best part of that scene, though,
25:06
is Frank just mowing down on that beef jerky
25:09
stick that he walks in with. Well, and also Tank
25:13
does the whole, like, doesn't see him come in
25:16
and he's just like, Frank? Yeah, I heard you
25:20
were in town. Oh, God. Aura. It's pure aura that
25:25
he felt in that quick -stole that meat. What
25:29
is a... It's a Nui Bol film, Dungeon Siege, one
25:32
of his really bad, like, video game adaptations,
25:34
which my friends went and saw in theaters and
25:36
I'm like, no, I won't. Wasn't Christian Bale
25:39
in that? he was in he was in one like terrible
25:42
dungeon or dragon he's in a dragon a dragon movie
25:45
it's not that it wasn't this has jason stay the
25:47
minute but the first line of the movie is like
25:49
this person comes into a shadowy room and the
25:52
other character the room goes i felt you come
25:54
before you came well i'm getting a tattoo and
26:02
that's me with every sex worker ever Were they
26:06
very complimentary? Absolutely. I was the best
26:09
they'd ever had. Hey, baby, you laid there so
26:12
good. Didn't cry once. Here's your gold star.
26:20
God, now I'm just thinking about dream scenario
26:22
in that hookup scene. Is it even sex if you don't
26:27
cry? No. If you don't cry, how do you keep it
26:31
wet? Yeah. That's right. What were you going
26:33
to say, Daryl? like before this like frank and
26:36
simone of raw dogs twice and then there's one
26:39
said that she's riding him in that car my notes
26:42
are just sex so good you see your dead wife yeah
26:49
that's some good guilt right there could you
26:52
tell me your real name she breaks all the rules
26:55
for him for no reason i know like usually i don't
26:59
tell people my real name But then also is like
27:02
that guy freaked me the fuck out. Don't don't
27:04
send me back to him. Yeah. Yeah. You showed him
27:07
where you live and gave him your real name. Like
27:09
this on you. Yeah, it's pretty weird. Yeah. Oh,
27:13
she talked about her pimp, though. Yeah, he looked
27:15
like he followed the Miami Heat. He looked like
27:19
he belonged in that like a Jamie Kennedy sketch
27:21
comedy show. I don't know if I'm joking that.
27:24
So I'm going to stop there. Daryl, you want to
27:26
get in on this circle? All I know about Jamie
27:29
Kennedy is what he was in the Scream movie, and
27:32
he had a series called X or something. It's like,
27:34
you've been X'd. Yeah. Oh, the Jamie Kennedy
27:37
experiment. Yeah. Jamie Kennedy experiment, that's
27:40
it. I watched UPN in the late 90s. Yeah. You
27:44
just got X'd. Frank, I think it's fair to say
27:47
that if Jamie Kennedy popped out at the end of
27:48
this when Cage was on the church step saying,
27:50
hey, Frank, you just got X'd. You got X'd. The
27:54
pimp was very much... we have logan paul at home
27:58
yeah i don't know he's just like the the total
28:01
stereotype of like a white guy pimp yeah yeah
28:04
bucket hat and all yeah didn't have a good hat
28:06
though needed a better he thinks he's cool he
28:08
thinks he's hot shit he holds the gun all sideways
28:10
cage beats the crap out of him scares him he
28:13
probably poops his pants cage and him probably
28:16
i mean cage is pretty old yeah and like infirm
28:19
at this point well i don't know he's pretty firm
28:21
with uh And this is the scene where the bellhops
28:26
just kind of sit in there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
28:28
So it starts this. This other sex worker comes
28:30
in is like, I'm whatever her name is. Sophie
28:33
or whatever. Simone. Simone. You're not fucking
28:35
Simone. And then she becomes a real bitch. And
28:38
then he throws her out. And then immediately
28:40
the pimp is there. Well, you have to be on site.
28:43
Is that a pimp rule? It's a stripper rule for
28:46
sure. Do you think that they were? I don't know.
28:48
Pimp rules. like set on the name, like before
28:52
they did any casting. Cause that chick doesn't
28:55
have any kind of Simone energy. No, there's not
28:59
even a vague Simone -ness about her. He clocked
29:03
it too. He was like, you think you could be Simone?
29:05
You ain't shit. I know my ethnic names. I think
29:10
he's a direct quote is shut the fuck up and get
29:12
out. You phony piece of shit. Like, yeah, let's
29:16
go. Yeah. That's pretty good. Yeah, I knew Simone
29:19
definitely had Jersey Shore energy. Trip turns
29:23
up immediately. And I might have misheard, but
29:26
I'm certain he introduced himself earlier as
29:28
like Trevor or something. And I was like, oh,
29:30
Trevor the pimp, that sounds crazy. And then
29:32
he's Trip. He's like, yeah, probably one of my
29:34
girls. Because she's a whore. Like, Frank, I
29:38
know you've been inside a long time, but we don't
29:39
use that language anymore. I learned this is
29:43
sex worker, but it's more fun to say whore. Hoor
29:47
is okay. You gotta put the right amount of inflection
29:51
and you can say it. That just sounds like you're
29:56
doing a Johnny Bravo dance or something. He puts
30:03
Tripp in a headlock and immediately does a Mr.
30:05
Byrne impression. He goes, excellent. Some strong
30:13
Cage quotes in the span of like two minutes.
30:16
I think it's like in the third, third half, third
30:18
half, third, third of this film. I got there
30:23
in the end. The third quarter of this film with
30:25
only three parts. I'm sweating, guys. I'm so
30:28
hot. I can't. Literally melting down. This heat
30:33
wave is nothing to joke about. I can't think.
30:35
Like you were saying before, the first hour of
30:38
this is like, oh, Cage isn't actually too bad
30:40
in this for like a straight to DVD Cage film.
30:44
And then you get into like the last 30 minutes
30:45
and it's like, there he is. There he is. I had
30:50
only ever seen that like last interaction with
30:54
Q. So I watched this entire movie and I was just
30:59
doubting the whole way. I was like, am I watching
31:02
the right movie this week? Like, is this, this
31:05
doesn't feel like the same movie. Like, I don't
31:08
remember names from the clip. It definitely starts
31:11
to ramp. I got concerned until we got to that
31:14
church. So, yeah. Yeah. And then you're like,
31:18
oh, I mean, the last seven minutes of the film.
31:20
Yeah. Yeah. I wish we had more of this. So, yeah,
31:22
it kind of like climaxes with him going to go.
31:26
No, hang on. We got it. We got to talk Max first.
31:29
Oh, yeah. So the old mob boss, the one he went
31:31
to. went to jail for yeah he's just been in a
31:34
coma for like the last 15 years yeah but yeah
31:37
for some reason that's a secret yeah i don't
31:39
know oh because q is using it as cover yeah yeah
31:41
q is hiding that so that he could make all the
31:43
decisions right so he goes and seems reasonable
31:47
i would probably do the same if i could yeah
31:49
that's pretty smart actually good job q yeah
31:52
so he goes he sees this comatose dude bloody
31:55
bat in hand ready to like bash it yeah bash the
31:59
brains because he thinks he's still in charge
32:01
But he spares him because he's already basically
32:03
dead. And he would have done right by him if
32:05
he weren't in a coma. Because he'd been in a
32:07
coma the entire time. Yeah, he realized Max didn't
32:09
screw him over because he couldn't have. Right.
32:11
So he leaves the bloody bat there. Weird memento.
32:14
In a weird, like, burying a knight of the round
32:18
table kind of stance. And then as he's leaving,
32:22
our boy shows up. and they have a shootout outside
32:29
of a retirement community. There seems to be
32:32
no urgency from inside the building. Well, they
32:35
had silencers. Glass was shattering. Silently.
32:40
The bullets silently shattered the glass. That's
32:44
what it does. All the old folks are having Vietnam
32:47
flashbacks inside. It's happening again. They're
32:50
flipping tables. I was like, I heard explosions.
32:55
This guy's shouting about his dick. Kept saying,
32:58
I'm Jimmy the Dragon. I'm Jimmy the Dragon. Cage
33:01
gets him from shooting his foot out from underneath
33:03
the cars. They should have shown his dick. Yeah.
33:07
That's a miss. Straight to DVD? What's the risk?
33:10
Yeah, it's not even rated. Hang some dong. And
33:13
then, yeah, takes him out. He's like, they're
33:14
not going to call you the dragon anymore. Shoots
33:15
him in the dick. And then leaves him alive. No,
33:18
he shoots him in the head. Yeah, well, I mean,
33:20
kills him, doesn't leave him alive is what I
33:21
meant to say. Those are two very distinctly different
33:26
sentences. The capping's starting to kick in.
33:27
And they left him alive. It's so hot here, guys.
33:30
By shooting him in the head. Oh, man. Oh, it's
33:35
so hot. We've got World Cup fever, everyone.
33:38
We've got World Cup fever. Oh, yeah, we got so
33:41
much soccer here. No, but like... I mean, you
33:44
shot him in the dick like and you know you're
33:46
going to die. Let him leave him to suffer. Why
33:48
are you killing Jimmy the Dragon? You got your
33:51
revenge. I do agree with that. I mean, I think
33:53
that it would be better if you shot him in both
33:57
of his ankles, blew his dick off. I don't know.
34:00
Give him some stigmata on his hands or something.
34:02
So they're fucked up, too. Yeah. And you're like,
34:04
all right, I would enjoy your shitty life. Taking
34:06
a baseball bat and tried like a golf swing at
34:09
his wiener. Oh, yeah. Just like. maybe a super
34:12
cut of him just abusing the dragon's penis yeah
34:15
just like a boot on there yeah he like wedges
34:18
it up in a car door and like slams it or like
34:22
rolls it up in the window like from inside it's
34:26
just like speed bag in the other side yeah yeah
34:31
oh just rolls his sack up in the window and then
34:33
like slowly drives the car like ghost rides the
34:37
whip oh my god Yeah, you're right. There are
34:41
better things that could have happened to that
34:42
guy's genitals. Yeah. I mean, I thought that,
34:45
like, because they just let Frank leave prison
34:47
with all those baseball bats, I was like, that
34:49
seems a dangerous thing to do for an ex -con.
34:51
I thought the explanation was going to be like,
34:54
oh, I've made a baseball bat for each of the
34:56
people that I'm going to go for. That would make
34:57
more sense. A reparations bat. I'm just going
35:01
to give them to children and keep the cycle going
35:04
and, you know, do nothing to stop this violence
35:06
and also boast to my ghost son that I'm actually
35:08
a successful businessman. Right. What a waste.
35:12
Whose dick still works and didn't get fucked
35:14
in prison. Mm -hmm. Yeah. I think he got fucked
35:17
in prison. Got fucked or did the fucking? I think
35:20
he got fucked. Mm -hmm. Because his subconscious
35:23
was giving him shit about that, and he's like,
35:25
no, no. That's true. Never happened. That's a
35:28
good point. Since his son was fake the whole
35:31
time. Mm -hmm. He was? Oh, no. Yeah. The big
35:35
reveal at the gravestone is like, ugh, Jesus
35:37
Christ. I will admit, I did not go into this
35:39
movie in a... good headspace and i was really
35:41
exhausted so i missed uh joey like phasing in
35:46
oh at the beginning yeah and uh so when the reveal
35:50
happened i wasn't shocked but i was like yeah
35:53
it makes sense no that tracks i probably should
35:55
have clocked that when uh joey was sitting there
35:58
off screen and uh cages like i don't know mourning
36:02
his dead wife uh and he's like oh this kid's
36:06
was only 15 and i was like fucking joey quit
36:11
looking at your own grave and then it pans over
36:13
to his grave but he was alive for like 20 years
36:15
yeah he was talking about a different kid yeah
36:17
what a dumb line yeah there's a lot of dumb shit
36:20
in this it's a really poorly written movie yeah
36:22
until until our favorite scene and daryl's favorite
36:27
scene which is the ending where they go to q's
36:31
daughter's wedding and uh Because he figured
36:34
out everything that Q had done. Yeah, because
36:37
Q is the baddie. And ultimately, Q had killed
36:41
his son or had his son killed because he was
36:43
a liability and a druggie and all that kind of
36:45
shit. The fact that his son was murdered kind
36:48
of comes out of nowhere because I just assumed
36:50
he died of a heroin overdose. Yeah. There's just
36:52
a lot of exposition at the end of this film and
36:54
it's all drunk like this because he hasn't slept
36:57
in days. Yeah, and every shot is sort of blurry.
37:02
And it's like cuts back and forth between like
37:03
a granite wall where the murder happened. Right.
37:07
And Q's daughter's there because it's her wedding.
37:09
And he's I thought he was going to kill the daughter
37:12
as like revenge. But he's like, get out of here.
37:14
And then she stays. His score to settle wasn't
37:18
with the daughter, though. No. And the ghost
37:21
boy also said to him, like, you know what they
37:24
say about going on a journey of vengeance? You're
37:26
going to need a lot of graves. It's like, no,
37:28
go live your life in happiness, old man. I'm
37:31
going to go kill a man now. It's like the ghost
37:36
of his kids saying, like, the ghost of the person
37:40
he assumes is kids, which is really him talking
37:42
to himself. What was the dumb quote, like the
37:47
Timo Dr. Seuss quote? Dr. Seuss quote that Joey
37:51
busts out all the time. It's like, you've got
37:53
another day to try again or whatever. Some stupid
37:56
shit like that. The writer definitely thought
37:59
it sounded deeper than it was. He confronts Q
38:02
and his daughter and it's this whole thing. I'll
38:08
just lead it in for you, Daryl. Q's like, don't
38:11
worry. He's only got beef with me. Beef! Beef!
38:18
You think beef is an accurate description of
38:20
what I've got with your father? Beef! Beef! So
38:30
when you remember, though, that the whole film
38:33
he's been dealing with confusion, delirium, paranoia,
38:36
hallucinations, and death, and the one thing
38:38
he's meant to do is sleep, and he doesn't do
38:41
it. One of those sort of deliveries. Not once.
38:45
It's one of those out of context. It's insane.
38:47
In context, it's not much better, but it kind
38:49
of makes sense. Honey, you think honey is what
38:54
I've got with your father piglet? I'm obliged
38:59
for one Winnie the Pooh per episode. It is true.
39:02
It's your contract. Oh my God. It's so funny.
39:07
I'm just thinking of piglet with Benjamin Bratz
39:09
goatee. It's a vibe. Yeah. I love that scene
39:14
so much. I had seen it on like a cage supercut
39:18
or whatever and was like, what the fuck is this
39:20
movie? I cannot wait to see it. And it doesn't
39:23
let me down. Anytime I watch that clip. Yeah.
39:25
Oh, that clip is a banger. He's he's so like
39:28
sweaty and strung out and meaty and like. But
39:36
then he like, he chooses to forgive and just,
39:38
he puts the gun down and walks away. Today's
39:40
the day to try again. Yeah. And then the daughter
39:43
shoots him in the back. Yeah. It's like, you
39:46
were safe, bitch. You were safe. Yeah. Top 10,
39:49
top 10 anime betrayals right there. And the fact
39:54
that he just turns around is like, and then he
39:57
just rocks it off and walks out. He just kind
39:59
of looks over his shoulder. It's like, might
40:01
as well just wink while he's at it. Like, and
40:03
then just leave. So then the cops are there.
40:06
Fuck cops. Yeah. No need for him to go down to
40:09
the blaze of glory. It's like you're bleeding
40:10
out anyway. You've been shot like twice already.
40:13
It's like, ah, fuck. Yeah. They could have had
40:15
him just like fall down at the altar area and
40:18
like have a chat with his son. And that's it.
40:20
You know, I did like when he go, when they training
40:24
day him on the, on the steps. And then like,
40:27
he goes to like fall down and you can just like,
40:29
see him like gently sit himself down and like
40:31
lean back and then kick one leg out. Yeah. That
40:34
was good. just get comfortable yeah then he had
40:38
like the bloody mouth and his son shows up again
40:40
and i'm sure his son said something that was
40:43
intended to be profound it is completely like
40:46
rolled out of my smooth brain at this point like
40:48
i have no clue what that kid says and then the
40:51
movie is just done it's not anything it's like
40:53
he it's like why are you still here he's like
40:54
i don't know i thought we could hang out some
40:55
more like that's it that's it's not anything
40:58
deep thought we had a pretty chill time i don't
41:00
know that was more or less it oh god that's and
41:04
he just goes i like that and then end of movie
41:08
yeah yeah yeah you bought your ghost so obviously
41:12
this is a 10 out of 10 yeah oh do you think they
41:15
rescheduled the wedding nah you fucking just
41:19
write it are you kidding me that place looked
41:21
very difficult to book yeah you just finish it
41:24
yeah Plus, nobody remembers a wedding that has
41:27
no flaws. You remember the important, like, weird
41:30
ones. Remember when Uncle Frankie came to our
41:32
wedding and threatened to kill us all? Yeah.
41:34
With all those cops there, you know it was probably
41:37
pretty easy for them to get a witness for the
41:39
certificate. That's a good point. Very good point.
41:42
I do like how all the bridesmaids just ran out
41:44
past Q and no one thought to mention, he's got
41:47
a gun. Yeah. Gun man inside. Fucking weirdos.
41:52
Broads. Yeah, I tell ya. So, Daryl, what's your
41:57
take on this movie overall? I mean, overall,
42:00
I think what he had, he settled two of four of
42:03
his scores. He settled with Jimmy the Dragon
42:06
in Tank. Max is already in a coma, so he let
42:09
him off. He let Q off the hook. So not all of
42:13
the scores were settled. Just some of them, because
42:15
his ghost son talked him out of the one thing
42:17
that's kept him alive for 19 years. But he had
42:20
some nice visions of his dead family. He got
42:23
to bang before he went out. He did some donuts.
42:28
He did some donuts. He drank some whiskeys. Drank
42:32
some whiskeys. He had a quote when they were
42:34
watch shopping. He sang, please bring me my watches.
42:39
Oh, he played the piano and sung that weird rainbow
42:42
song too. That was a good one. I liked the song
42:44
on the piano. according to imdb he genuinely
42:47
learned the piano for this role i mean you know
42:51
that's our boy yeah fine show where you can uh
42:53
he gives simone a hundred grand and then meets
42:57
her son who is way too big to be in that stroller
43:00
absolutely that upset me so much i'm like that
43:02
that's a lazy fat fucking kid maybe that kid's
43:05
got gout and he can't walk because he's so fucking
43:08
fat That was a 15 -year -old boy in that stroller,
43:11
and I will not take it. He had a fucking mustache.
43:14
Whose name was Joey. Or as he said it, Joey.
43:21
Pick the tobacco out from his teeth and kind
43:24
of spits this out. It's Joey, mister. I'm going
43:27
back to my nap. We had some good times there,
43:29
Frankie Fingers. What? His mom told him about
43:34
it. Oh, no. Oh, yeah, she found out about Frankie
43:36
Fingers. Yeah. Yeah. I think he had a good time.
43:42
I enjoyed this podcast more than I enjoyed this
43:43
movie. I feel like that's usually how it goes
43:46
with the bad ones. I liked when he saw the hotel
43:51
maid in his room. He's like, oh no, you finished
43:52
your job. He immediately collapses and she walks
43:55
over. He was like, I blow English. And she's
43:57
like, no. And leaves. You cannot get the stuff
44:02
these days. Well, I definitely would have feigned
44:06
ignorance also if I had just scooped up and stolen
44:09
all of this guy's GHB pills or whatever. I do.
44:12
Oh, no, no, no. Blowing glass. I do like how.
44:16
No, no. Has like has a fight with a pimp in his
44:20
room that involves a gun. He goes out and comes
44:24
back to the hotel and they just let him right
44:26
back in. I know they open the fucking door for
44:29
him. Money goes a long way. He's in the presidential
44:32
suite. That's diplomatic immunity in any hotel.
44:35
I mean, that floor's got its own pimp. That's
44:39
a good point. She did come out of another room.
44:43
And then straight into his. That's just smart
44:45
business sense. That's good business sense. I
44:48
think my other favorite line is just before he
44:51
meets Jimmy the Dragon, he's got the gun in his
44:53
hand and he goes, bitches, leave. And I was like,
44:55
that's tough. That's tough. I like it. I like
44:59
that. That is a good one, yeah. Oh, Jimmy the
45:02
Dragon. He didn't give Simone's kid a baseball
45:04
bat. I know he fucked up. He had at least one
45:07
more clacking around in there. You think the
45:10
writer just forgot about the whole baseball bat
45:12
thing by halfway through the movie? I think the
45:15
writer forgot about a lot of things throughout
45:17
this movie. Yeah. It's pretty bad. Yeah. This
45:21
is definitely on the list of don't watch it.
45:23
Yeah. Do watch a Nick Cage supercut and enjoy
45:25
the beef quotes. Yeah. That's it. That's kind
45:29
of it. I think this might be in my bottom three.
45:33
Of all the movies? Yeah. Wow. Boy, I'd have to
45:37
think about that. Yeah, where do you slot this
45:38
one, Daryl? I mean, I think there is an argument
45:43
for bottom 10. I mean, this is the thing that
45:49
Cage isn't particularly bad. It's just the entire
45:52
film is just not good. It's just very bland.
45:56
We joked about earlier, you can predict within
45:59
the first five minutes that the son is dead and
46:01
has been dead the whole time. You kind of see
46:04
where it's going. And you get that caginess,
46:07
but you can tell it's straight to DVD fare because
46:11
a lot of Cage movies at this time are very fucking
46:13
similar. You could roughly describe the plot.
46:16
It could be seven different other Cage movies
46:17
in the 2010s. Yeah. It's probably going through
46:22
them chronologically. yeah so yeah so 2019 he
46:27
did color out of space great movie this one running
46:31
with the devil which we haven't seen yet but
46:32
we will soon um kill chain which we did watch
46:35
as a bonus episode yeah primal and which is a
46:38
banger i mean the movie sucks shit but we had
46:41
fun best of 2019 and grand isle which i've heard
46:44
as like it's one of the worst of the entire batch
46:46
so i just for this movie i mean why i rank this
46:51
one so low is just because I feel like most other
46:54
things we see him in, I see why he's doing it.
46:57
And I'm like, there's nothing of value in this
46:59
film other than like his great performance at
47:02
the end. But I'm just like, nothing else in this
47:06
film was done with any care or intention. Yeah,
47:10
it's weird. Just think about like why he would
47:11
have wanted to do this movie. Like what enticed
47:14
him? This definitely feels like he didn't do
47:16
an accent. No, definitely for the money. Yeah.
47:20
I think that's okay to do things for the money,
47:21
though. Yeah. Also, $450 ,000 to go away for
47:26
five years. Yeah. I guess that was 90s money.
47:30
I mean, that's pretty decent. You're getting
47:33
paid to go to prison, you know, for $100 ,000
47:36
a year -ish. Non -taxed. Yeah. But then 19 years.
47:40
Hardly seems worth it. No, fuck that, for sure.
47:44
Two hots and a cot ain't doing it. No. Did get
47:47
some mean basketball woodturning skills. Baseball.
47:52
Basketball woodturning skills would be fucking
47:53
tight as hell. There's wooden basketball. I don't
47:57
need you correcting me today. It's Con Air Day.
47:59
It's Con Air Day. It's Con Air Day. This on Con
48:01
Air Day? How dare you fucking slap in the face.
48:05
Yeah, there will be no corrections on Con Air
48:07
Day. Only alternative facts on Con Air Day. Yeah,
48:13
exactly. um yeah this is not in my mind that
48:19
i mean it's not a great film but when i stack
48:22
it up against things like inconceivable and which
48:26
one was inconceivable that's the one where she
48:27
couldn't conceive so she was going and taking
48:32
all her adopted yeah like the egg donor babies
48:35
yeah she collected them like pokemon or some
48:38
shit it was just fucking crazy It gave me that
48:46
awesome IMDb review. She didn't need to take
48:50
her top off. We know how good of an actor she
48:52
is. Oh, Nikki Whelan. Yeah, I mean, like Left
49:01
Behind is way up there in my least favorites.
49:03
As bad as Left Behind is, I can see whoever made
49:06
it cared. Poorly, but someone cared about that
49:10
movie at one point. I don't think caring. is
49:13
enough of an excuse when it sucks though because
49:17
if you care a lot and you can't make something
49:20
that like makes me want to care about it i mean
49:24
it's no stronger to me that's fair not caring
49:27
and making me not care that's fine i mean yeah
49:30
you know teach their own i just like i'd rather
49:32
see someone fail at something they actually wanted
49:35
to make rather than whatever this was i'm pleasantly
49:39
uh tickled anytime someone fails and i get to
49:44
watch i think i could say that this is in a bottom
49:48
20 ish 2025 ish for me only because it's like
49:53
the action was relatively lame and whatnot but
49:58
you know this put this pushed a dog eat dog up
50:01
in my book oh that's rough yeah i hate that movie
50:05
well daryl any final thoughts on this If nothing
50:09
else, some great lines, some great quotes, and
50:13
it makes you want to eat beef! Beef! Beef? Just
50:19
saying beef like that has been a consistent stim
50:23
for me ever since I watched this film for the
50:25
first time a few years ago. Both for podcast
50:28
-related reasons, not for recreational fun. Yeah.
50:33
It's not great. It's just another in like...
50:38
Cage's 2010 landfill era post 2013 to 2020. This
50:43
is the kind of film that you'll find for like,
50:45
let me convert it for you fiends, a dollar in
50:49
one of your charity stores in like a bargain
50:50
bin. Hell yeah. What's a charity store? Like
50:53
a Goodwill. Yeah. I think the only good thing
50:57
is to see if someone's made like a super cut
50:59
of this or just watch the beef scene. That's
51:03
the only scene you're playing for. um because
51:06
nothing about this matters at all um three out
51:11
of ten three and a half if i'm being generous
51:13
add a push for his cage isn't terrible in it
51:16
everything about it is i think that's the fairest
51:19
thing i can say yeah yeah that's that's pretty
51:23
solid i think this movie could easily benefit
51:26
from us just reshooting the various scores that
51:31
he settles and then cutting them in And pretending
51:35
like it was always that way. Yeah. Like we put
51:38
Sean in a Nicolas Cage wig and you get to paint
51:42
on your beard for the dragon for the dragon.
51:46
And then we just really amp up that fight. We
51:48
just really beat your balls up. Yeah. All right,
51:51
let's do it. We got Sean for the rest of the
51:53
day. Yeah, I can be sad tank. Yeah. Yeah, I like
51:57
it. We can break down and have a real emotional
51:59
moment. still around some beef around some beef
52:02
around a bunch of beef maybe this movie's deeper
52:06
than i thought because there was a lot of beef
52:08
in that scene where he's one of the few times
52:10
he squashed his beef that's true surrounded by
52:12
beef yeah that's beef all the way down i don't
52:15
know if he squashed his beef he did just uh shoot
52:17
the guy in the head yeah that's true also i'm
52:20
just like cool we're gonna get like we're gonna
52:21
get an old guy fight scene in a deli like that
52:24
meat hook's gonna come into play fighting amongst
52:26
a bunch of hanging meat yeah Could have been
52:29
tight. Incredible. I love that. Classy movie
52:31
move. Didn't do it. Yeah. Really missed out.
52:34
Maybe they didn't have the beef budget. All right.
52:38
Well, I think that's kind of it, right? Yeah.
52:40
I can't think of a single thing else I want to
52:42
say about this movie. Yeah. Well, we're back
52:45
on our regular cadence. This will come out just
52:47
after 4th of July. So hopefully we'll celebrate
52:50
the 250th anniversary with Trump being dead or
52:54
something like that. But I'll be shits his pants
52:56
and dies at the party. Falls in the reflecting
52:59
pool. That would be a good way to go. The algae
53:02
just like eats him. Yeah. But yeah, anyway, so
53:05
next up we've got running with the devil, which,
53:07
um, I don't know that much. It does have Lawrence
53:10
Fishburne. So that should be kind of interesting.
53:12
Don't spoil it for us, Daryl. I know, I know
53:15
we're in the only bad movies zone of our podcast.
53:18
So, but, uh, if you are interested in supporting
53:21
us, we are on Patreon at cage match and, uh,
53:25
thank you to our sparkle buddies, Josh, Josie,
53:27
Matt, Adam, Bill, Stuart, and Willow. And to
53:29
our gauge dancers, John, Freeman, Nathan, and
53:32
Cameron. And, of course, to Bill Panks for our
53:34
intro music. Thank you very much. And that's
53:37
kind of it. I feel like there's nothing left
53:40
to say except beef? Beef? Beef? Beef? Daryl,
53:45
do you want to plug anything before you go? Beef?
53:49
Beef? Keep eating beef? Do you think beef is
53:52
an accurate description of what I've got with
53:54
you, President? Yeah, Cage Rage, Nicholas Cage
53:58
podcast. Recently released episode on gunslingers.
54:02
I got beads for my hair. And Cage Rage is one.
54:07
Oh, God, I'm so hot. I'd like to plug AC. I think
54:12
air conditioning is an underdeveloped thing in
54:16
the UK and a heat wave. And Getting Defoe You,
54:19
a Woodham Defoe podcast with me and fellow...
54:22
Cage Acolyte, Mr. Petros Patsilovas covering
54:24
all the dahis, all the dahlos, and all things
54:26
Willem Dafoe. I'm so wet. You have no idea how
54:31
wet I am. I am beef. I am beef dripping over
54:35
here. You are beef wet. Sloppy steaks. Sloppy
54:41
steaks. Slop them up, boys. Good to see you,
54:43
Daryl. Pleasure as always. Go melt now. Bye -bye.