Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Who to contact when you need support from a Narcissist

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Who to contact when you need support from a Narcissist · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we're going to be talking about who you should not reach
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  out to when you need help or you need assistance, when you're
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  dealing with a narcissistic person or trying to survive a
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  tax relationship. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist. And welcome to another episode
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  of The Narcissist Code. Boom.
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  Welcome back, Welcome back. Welcome back, folks.
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  Yes, yes, yes. Who you should not reach out to
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  when you need help with narcissistic people.
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  You trying to survive a narcissistic relationship?
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  Yeah, 'cause I know one of the best things that can help you
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  heal and get past a toxic relationship, Toxic,
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  narcissistic relationship dynamic is community.
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  You know, having a good support system.
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  But you hear what I just said right there, right?
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  Good support system, good. You have people there that are
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  willing to listen to you and to support you and and hear you and
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  understand, understand where you're coming from.
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  Or even if they don't understand where you're coming from they
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  listen to you and they you know they're willing to listen to you
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  and help you out and assist you. I know the title of the video is
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  or the the topic was who you should not reach out to.
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  So I wrote down right here y'all because I was doing a one-on-one
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  the other day with somebody and they just struck me.
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  She was like my friends and family kept giving me bad advice
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  they because you know they were just like well maybe you're
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  overreacting maybe you're this is your fault maybe you're
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  overdoing it. Maybe some of this stuff does
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  have, but maybe this does have something to do with you.
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  And I wrote down Stop reaching out to people that don't
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  understand. It can be as simple as that.
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  Sometimes you sometimes you have to stop reaching out to people
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  who do not understand the totality or the gravity of what
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  you're experiencing and what you're going through and who
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  you're dealing with. Because there's a lot of truth
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  to that right there. It really, really did.
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  It really, really is. You have to stop reaching out to
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  people who don't know what the hell they're talking about.
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  So I've read a book out, and this is a book you might want to
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  check out on Amazon. It's called Out of the Fog by
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  Dana Morningstar and one of the things that she talks about in
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  that book is what it's a. It's a thing called well
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  intended bad advice where people give you they they hey, they
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  come from a good place. They want to help you out,
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  right? But they give you horrible
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  advice, well intended bad advice.
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  And a lot of times they give you this well intended bad advice
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  because they don't understand what the hell you are going
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  through. They don't understand what you
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  are experiencing. They have no earthly clue what
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  the hell is going on. They just don't.
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  That's part of it right there. They have no idea what the hell
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  they're talking about. What the hell is going on.
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  They really, really don't. And it gets a lot of people
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  caught up, you getting you're you're in a toxic, narcissistic
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  relationship, right? And you're getting emotionally
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  abused. And they tell you, hey, look,
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  you, hey, look, my partner just, they don't, they don't hear me
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  out. They don't listen to me.
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  They yell and scream at me. They just, I don't have a voice
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  in my relationship. And they tell you something
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  like, well, maybe you should be a little bit more submissive and
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  listen more. Maybe you're overthinking this.
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  You got a good partner. Maybe you should go back.
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  And then you go back and get get pregnant or get them pregnant
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  and now you got a whole goddamn baby.
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  I said got damn baby by a horrible person.
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  And then you got a Co parent and you go back to that person who
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  gave you the bad advice. So hey, look, you told me to go
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  back and I did it. Well, you didn't have to take my
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  advice. They don't understand it.
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  And it does. Yeah, I'll say this right here.
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  It doesn't make them a bad person, right?
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  Sometimes it does. Sometimes they give you horrible
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  advice because they might be bad people.
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  They might be a flying monkey of your narcissistic person.
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  If you don't know what a flying monkey is, it's a blind
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  supporter of that toxic, narcissistic person that you're
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  dealing with, right? That's what a flying monkey is.
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  A flying monkey is a blind supporter of that toxic
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  narcissistic person. Right?
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  So. But not everybody's a narcissist
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  flying monkey. Not intentionally.
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  Sometimes they're unintentional. Sometimes they're unintentional.
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  Flying monkeys because they give you that well intended bad
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  advice. Maybe you should give them
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  another chance. Hey, their profile says that
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  they they're they they are still married or whatever.
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  It doesn't say separated or widowed or anything like that or
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  divorced. Well, maybe, you know, just
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  sometimes those profiles take a little a long time to update.
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  Whole time they're married, they just rationalize the toxicity.
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  They all say you, yeah, you got to stop.
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  Be careful who you share, what you're going through with, you
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  know, vet your source, vet your vet your support system.
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  Because they if y'all don't know, I'm starting a a community
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  just for people, a support system, support community for
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  people who are going through toxic, narcissistic
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  relationships. You know, I'm going to be part
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  of, I'm being in every single day.
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  My wife is going to be talking in it sometimes as well.
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  She can be helping support people, you know, getting
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  getting advice and stuff like that too.
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  If you want to be considered for that or you want more info on
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  that, sign up on my e-mail, my e-mail list.
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  The link is in the description of every video on podcast I do.
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  It says weekly newsletter or e-mail list in this description.
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  Sign up for that. It's free.
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  You know what I'm saying? The newsletter is free and
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  whatnot, so I don't spam people either.
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  I don't spam, I don't send spam. But check it out.
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  It's coming soon, coming soon, release it next week.
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  But yeah, this is what happens. This is what goes on in these
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  spaces. It really, really does.
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  Y'all because they might be looking, actually looking to
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  give you some good advice, but it's horrible advice.
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  It comes from a good place. I'm not saying that they're
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  again, I'm not saying that they're a bad person.
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  It's coming from a good place. But it's just terrible advice
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  And they get so many people stuck and so many people go back
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  because you trust this person give you their advice, right?
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  You trust, you trust them right back into the toxicity sometime
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  because like I said before, sometimes they can become an
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  unintentional flying monkey of that narcissistic person.
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  They really, really can. And this is part of it.
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  So that's why I said I want people to be happy and healthy.
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  I want y'all to have thriving relationships.
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  I want y'all to to go go forth and you know, just prosper and
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  all the other good stuff. But it's almost impossible when
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  you have people around you that or sometimes rooting for your
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  relationship, to stay together, rooting for you to give your,
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  you know, talk to your Mama or talk to your toxic daddy who's
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  been abusive your whole life. Talk to your toxic Mama or
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  grandma or somebody you know. You only get one Mama, you only
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  get one daddy. You're going to miss him when
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  they go and they've been abusive to you your whole life and
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  hasn't changed, haven't changed at all.
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  People can give you well intended bad advice, you know,
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  It's just bad advice sometimes. Again, they're coming from a
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  place, you know, sometimes they're coming from a place of
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  toxicity. But a lot of times they're
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  coming. They're coming from a good
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  place. It's just bad.
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  It's just bad advice. It just is, you know, it happens
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  so much to people. But like, this is part.
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  I mean, this is part of the process that a lot of people go
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  through and whatnot. You have to, you know, be Just
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  be careful with who you share this information with.
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  Be careful who you reach out to. Be careful who you try to
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  connect to when you're trying to get this information out there.
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  Because what? What happens if you you share
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  with the wrong person? You get abused.
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  You get used, abused, discarded, thrown to the side.
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  All this craziness happens. It just becomes a it just
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  becomes bad. So don't reach out to people who
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  don't understand, like especially if they get if they
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  giving you bad advice before, don't go, don't go back to the
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  if that if that well has given you some bad water that made you
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  sick and poop and throw up everywhere would you go back to
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  the diarrhea? Well again You know would you go
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  back to that vomiting well again No you won't.
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  You won't. You would.
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  You would change your water source to try to wouldn't you?
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  So don't go back to people who've given you bad advice if
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  they have possibly kept you in this toxic relationship dynamic.
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  Because I'm just telling you, I see it happen so many times.
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  I see it happen so many times. You might have the intuition,
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  you might see the red flags, but you need reassured.
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  You need to reassure yourself because you might be over
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  analyzing. You think you might be over
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  analyzing it. Maybe I'm over thinking this.
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  Maybe they really are a good person, you know, maybe they do
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  have this going all right here. Maybe their their mindset is
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  this way. Maybe I'm thinking wrong.
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  Let me ask my friend, Let me ask my brother.
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  Let me ask my sister. Let me ask my parent and they
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  give you that bad advice like you're you're yeah you're
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  overthinking it. But you would not You were not
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  overthinking it. You were.
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  You were. You were you were just you were
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  thinking it just right. You were.
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  It's kind of like the the Berenstain Bears.
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  You know this you know this this is part is you know this soup is
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  too hot. This is too cold.
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  You were your soup. That's just right.
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  Embarrassing bears. That ages me.
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  Doesn't it make me seem like I'm way older than what I am?
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  38 years old? Yeah, but that's the that's the
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  how it goes right there. So I want you to, like,
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  understand, like, again, I'm not telling you to cut these people
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  off. I'm just telling you to realize
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  that some of these people, they might even they might even have
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  your best interests at heart. But it's lead you down a path
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  the wrong path, you know? Hey, jump off this Cliff right
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  here with no parachute. I promise you.
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  You hit the water. There's no water down there.
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  There's a little tiny, There's a little tiny puddle of water down
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  there. But there's rocks everywhere.
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  It's surrounded by rocks. Would you jump?
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  You going to make it? You going to make it?
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  You? Hey, you jump first.
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  You know what I'm saying? Don't reach out to people who
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  don't know what they're talking about.
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  Especially if you give them a chance to give you some bad
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  advice. Use.
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  If you survived their bad advice before, don't give them another
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  chance to give you more bad advice.
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  You know what I mean? Because that just makes you look
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  a certain, it's going to make you look a certain type of way.
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  It's going to make you like say you have to live with the
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  decision. So if you already feel, if
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  you're already feeling a certain type of way, you have to live
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  with the decision. Because it's your relationship.
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  It's your life. It's your parent or your partner
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  or your husband or wife. You're trying, you're trying to
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  cut off, you know, get away from you have to live with the
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  decision. So you have to understand it and
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  move forward and whatnot. You.
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  Yeah, It falls unto you. It falls unto you.
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  And sometimes it doesn't seem fair.
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  I tell people that. It's just like, it falls unto
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  you. They'll be like, well, leave
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  that ain't fair. Like, yeah, it's your life.
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  You got to live it. So it does fall unto you.
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  It's not going to be fair all the time.
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  Life ain't fair, you know, but it follows you.
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  Just be able to stop reaching out to people who are not giving
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  you good advice. They just are not giving you
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  good advice. They're giving you bad, horrible
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  advice. You know, they just, that's what
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  they that's what they're doing. That's the part of right there.
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  So I just tell people that right there, just reach out to people,
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  you know, follow up with people who are giving you the good
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  advice because that helps you out right there, you know.
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  Meanwhile, y'all again, join the newsletter, my e-mail list.
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  So again, I'm going to send out a bit more information about my
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  community in my first course. It's coming out here pretty soon
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  as well. Link is in the description.
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  Subscribe to this channel as well and tell this is out peace.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  You are a mental illness Rockstar and I appreciate you
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  for being here. If you haven't already, make
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  sure to click on the screen to subscribe to the channel and
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  watch another one of my videos on my playlist.
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  There's also a link available up here for you to purchase my
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  kids. But remember, it's not your
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  fault on Amazon so check that out.
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  Thank you. I will see you in the next
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  video. Peace.