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Carving Out 'Me Time': Simple Summer Self-Care Strategies · Talking FACS

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  Welcome to Talking FACS, what you need to know about family,
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  food, finance, and fitness.
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  This nationally recognized, award-winning podcast is hosted by the University
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  of Kentucky Family and Consumer Sciences Extension Program.
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  Our educators share research knowledge with individuals, families,
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  and communities to improve quality of life.
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  The summer is a great time for lots of fun and memory building.
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  However, the stress of having kids home for summer break can be tough.
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  Welcome to Talking FACS, where we share research-based information to help you live well.
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  I am your host, Mindy McCulley, Extension Specialist for Instructional Support
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  with Family and Consumer Sciences Extension.
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  This summer, there may be days when you feel like you don't have one single second to yourself.
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  However, time to ourselves and some basic self-care is absolutely critical for our mental health.
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  Today, Dr. Kerri Ashurst is joining us to talk about some simple strategies for
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  carving out a little time for ourselves.
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  Dr. Ashurst is a Senior Extension Specialist for Family and Relationship Development.
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  Welcome, Kerri. Let's talk about me time. Hi, Mindy.
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  Good to see you again. I'm so glad that you're here, and I'm glad that it's summer.
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  And actually, today, the sun is shining. Yes, absolutely. So it's the perfect
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  timing to talk about this. And I have a daughter that's about to finish a freshman
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  year of high school. And so for me, this is a very personal thing right now.
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  There are times when we might not feel like we have one single second to ourselves,
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  and there are enough hours in the day, right?
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  Right, exactly. That does happen. Yes, and we think about the summer maybe being
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  a little bit of downtime, and it certainly can be, but it can also be a time
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  when there's just a lot going on,
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  and it can be very hard, I think, for parents and adults to find a little bit of that me time.
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  So that's what I wanted to talk about today with you, is just that goal of spending
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  at least a little bit of time a day on ourselves and some self-care.
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  Great. And sometimes that might just be 10 minutes, you know,
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  and if so, that's great. But if you can do more, even better still.
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  And so I think a good start really is just to think about and write down maybe
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  even a few things that are good for you.
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  Maybe it's getting a little nap. Maybe it's eating a healthier snack,
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  getting up and moving a little bit, a few minutes a day, even more than you
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  have, or practicing a mindfulness or relaxation technique.
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  Or one of my personal favorites is just writing down a to-do list sometimes
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  at the start of the day because things tend to fall off the wayside sometimes
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  when I get a little bit stressed out.
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  Do you have any kind of a favorite practice yourself?
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  Well, I have to take a walk when I am at my limit, then I need to just step away. Right.
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  Once we spend some initial time thinking about what is good for us,
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  for our own stress management, what are some...
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  Best practices that our listeners can start now to begin that me-time process?
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  I think, first of all, just trying to make it a priority to unplug ourselves.
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  That me-time can be so important, but trying not to spend 100% of the little
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  bit of time you do have on yourself on electronics, scrolling through or commenting
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  on social media, reading news headlines, etc..
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  It can add to our stress rather than reducing it, I think is really the take-home point there.
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  And maybe it's even, you know, while you have a cup of coffee or you're taking
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  a short drive or a walk or something, you know, it doesn't matter what you're
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  doing, just trying to unplug more so than being plugged in.
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  Although sometimes connection is something for our me time too,
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  which is why the social media and the things that we have at our fingertips
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  are a great resource as well.
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  Second of all, just finding your loves. What are your hobbies?
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  What are your things that you like?
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  Maybe it's sewing or reading. Maybe it's fishing. You know, whatever your favorite
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  things are, trying to make those a priority.
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  And remember that it's okay. You know, I think we sometimes feel guilty as parents,
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  especially when we're trying to do, do, do so much for our kids while they're
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  out during the summer that we don't always feel good about focusing on ourselves, but it's important.
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  And just always being focused on other people in our lives, it brings us joy,
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  but we fall to the bottom of our own priority list sometimes.
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  Yeah, and that's not the place to be.
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  So these are all great ideas. But what about spending time alone or with others?
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  Oh, yes. Some people may look forward to me time, meaning the time alone, right?
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  That might be what they need to recharge their batteries.
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  Like you said, taking a walk or maybe even just taking a little extra time in the shower or a bath,
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  renewing and helping to relax your body or your mind, clearing your mind,
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  doing things like a little bit of meditation or mindfulness,
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  reading, those sorts of things that can lower our blood pressure a little bit
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  and help us to take a break from others.
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  It can also help us sleep better as well. But then, of course,
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  on the flip side, I know there's a lot of people out there that Me time means time with others.
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  And getting that time to be able to go out and spend a little time adulting,
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  with a friend or a family member or planning a date with your partner or spouse
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  that doesn't include the children every time.
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  Focused time with that significant other can be critically important since so
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  much of our time and energy is going toward raising children in general,
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  but especially when they're home during the summer and we may not have any time at all free of them.
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  So try to focus on each other and on others as well if that's what really recharges
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  your battery but again it's whatever is best for you,
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  I think our daily schedules and stresses in the summer seem to be affecting
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  us maybe more than we realize. Yes.
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  So we've thought about our needs and our loves.
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  So how do we put these best practices into practice?
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  So I think, you know, I already mentioned one earlier that I know is a good
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  one for me, and that's writing things down. I tend to start forgetting things
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  more the more stressed out I get.
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  So when I've got the things written down and maybe even prioritized,
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  it really seems to help me with getting through it and knowing that I can get
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  through it, that it's going to happen.
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  And so just realizing what we're feeling with writing down some of our needs,
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  our wants as well, our emotions, getting some of that down can kind of help
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  get it out of us too sometimes.
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  So writing in general, whether it be a priority list or emotions or journaling or what have you.
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  And then as we talked about before, connecting with people.
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  Me time can mean connecting with others to feel less alone, calling a best friend,
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  going on a walk, like you said, with somebody else, if that really is something
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  that is good for you for your me time.
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  And asking others for help. Mindy, none of us do this very well, I don't think, do we?
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  And while we're raising children and they are home during the summer,
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  sometimes it can feel a little bit overwhelming.
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  And we need to be able to tell people what our needs are.
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  And it's okay. It's okay to say, I need some me time and ask for it.
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  It is certainly not selfish or uncaring.
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  But sometimes people may not even realize we need it if we don't say it.
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  We need to be able to say it.
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  And then rewarding ourselves. And this doesn't mean anything expensive or glamorous or anything else.
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  Maybe it's a little bowl of ice cream or maybe it's a warm cup of tea while
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  you spend a few minutes either meditating or reading or watching part of a favorite show.
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  Whatever it is, just getting out there and doing it, doing what feels good and
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  rewarding yourselves for all the difficult things that you get through in a given day.
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  And finally, just clearing our heads, trying to spend a little bit of time,
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  even if it's just breathing or,
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  soaking in for a moment and being engaged in the present instead of worrying
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  about everything that's going on around us and trying to just really clear our
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  heads a little bit and take time to be quiet.
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  There are so many stressful factors that come at us daily.
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  But in the summer, when children are out of school, routines get changed.
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  And whether you are home working with them all day or working away from home,
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  there still may be more meals to prepare, more cleanup to do,
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  more activities to be scheduled.
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  So sometimes we can get so caught up in all of these stressors or events or
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  activities that we allow them to take control over our lives. Yes, so true, Mindy.
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  And it doesn't matter what we're doing for that me time. It doesn't matter how long it is.
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  It just matters that we remember to prioritize ourselves sometimes,
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  providing that self-care for ourselves.
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  And we all do a great job of caring for others,
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  but don't always do a great job of caring for ourselves and remembering that
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  that is just as important and that we can't always be as good a caretakers for
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  others if we're not also caring for ourselves along the way too.
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  Respect yourself and remember you need and deserve time as well.
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  Oh, most definitely. Many of us, myself included, find that caring for others
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  is simple compared to finding time to care for ourselves. Well stated.
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  So I hope that our listeners' key takeaway from today's conversation is that
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  caring for your own needs will make you a better caretaker for those you love.
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  Thank you for chatting with me today. Thank you, Mindy. I appreciate it.
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  Talking Facts is a production of Family and Consumer Sciences Extension in the
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  Martin-Gatton College of Agriculture, Food and Environment at the University of Kentucky.
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