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Note 60: You Can’t Become Her With Low Standards · Notes to Her

• 0:16
  Hey,
• 0:16
  girl.
• 0:16
  Hey.
• 0:17
  Welcome
• 0:17
  back
• 0:17
  to
• 0:17
  Notes
• 0:17
  to
• 0:17
  Her,
• 0:18
  the
• 0:18
  daily
• 0:18
  pep
• 0:18
  talk.
• 0:18
  I'm
• 0:19
  Yaya,
• 0:19
  your
• 0:19
  confidence
• 0:20
  and
• 0:20
  mindset
• 0:20
  coach,
• 0:21
  here
• 0:21
  to
• 0:22
  remind
• 0:22
  you
• 0:22
  that
• 0:22
  you
• 0:22
  deserve
• 0:23
  better
• 0:23
  than
• 0:23
  the
• 0:23
  things
• 0:24
  that
• 0:24
  you've
• 0:24
  been
• 0:24
  quietly
• 0:25
  tolerating.
• 0:27
  And
• 0:27
  today
• 0:28
  I
• 0:28
  need
• 0:28
  to
• 0:29
  talk
• 0:29
  to
• 0:29
  the
• 0:29
  women
• 0:29
  who
• 0:29
  keep
• 0:30
  settling.
• 0:31
  Settling
• 0:32
  for
• 0:32
  mixed
• 0:32
  signals,
• 0:33
  settling
• 0:34
  for
• 0:34
  disrespect,
• 0:35
  settling
• 0:36
  for
• 0:36
  environments
• 0:36
  that
• 0:37
  drain
• 0:37
  you,
• 0:38
  and
• 0:38
  settling
• 0:38
  for
• 0:39
  situations
• 0:39
  that
• 0:39
  make
• 0:40
  you
• 0:40
  question
• 0:40
  your
• 0:41
  worth.
• 0:42
  And
• 0:42
  if
• 0:42
  that
• 0:42
  sounds
• 0:43
  a
• 0:43
  little
• 0:43
  bit
• 0:43
  too
• 0:43
  direct,
• 0:44
  good.
• 0:45
  Because
• 0:45
  sometimes
• 0:46
  we
• 0:46
  need
• 0:46
  someone
• 0:46
  to
• 0:46
  lovingly
• 0:47
  call
• 0:47
  us
• 0:47
  out.
• 0:49
  So
• 0:49
  let
• 0:49
  me
• 0:49
  say
• 0:50
  this
• 0:50
  the
• 0:50
  way
• 0:50
  your
• 0:50
  protective
• 0:51
  best
• 0:51
  friend
• 0:51
  would
• 0:51
  say
• 0:52
  it.
• 0:53
  Never
• 0:53
  settle
• 0:54
  for
• 0:54
  disrespect.
• 0:55
  You
• 0:55
  deserve
• 0:56
  better.
• 0:57
  And
• 0:57
  whether
• 0:58
  you
• 0:58
  feel
• 0:58
  like
• 0:58
  you
• 0:58
  are
• 0:59
  that
• 0:59
  girl
• 0:59
  yet
• 0:59
  or
• 1:00
  not,
• 1:00
  you
• 1:00
  are
• 1:01
  her.
• 1:12
  Settling
• 1:13
  rarely
• 1:13
  starts
• 1:14
  with
• 1:14
  something
• 1:14
  big.
• 1:15
  It
• 1:15
  usually
• 1:16
  starts
• 1:16
  small.
• 1:17
  A
• 1:17
  comment
• 1:18
  that
• 1:18
  didn't
• 1:18
  sit
• 1:18
  right.
• 1:20
  Someone
• 1:20
  speaking
• 1:20
  to
• 1:21
  you
• 1:21
  in
• 1:21
  a
• 1:21
  way
• 1:21
  that
• 1:21
  felt
• 1:21
  dismissive,
• 1:23
  a
• 1:23
  situation
• 1:24
  that
• 1:24
  felt
• 1:24
  unbalanced.
• 1:26
  But
• 1:26
  instead
• 1:26
  of
• 1:26
  addressing
• 1:27
  it,
• 1:27
  you
• 1:27
  say
• 1:27
  to
• 1:27
  yourself,
• 1:28
  maybe
• 1:28
  I'm
• 1:29
  overreacting.
• 1:30
  Maybe
• 1:30
  it's
• 1:31
  not
• 1:31
  that
• 1:31
  serious.
• 1:32
  Maybe
• 1:32
  I
• 1:33
  should
• 1:33
  just
• 1:33
  let
• 1:33
  it
• 1:33
  go.
• 1:34
  And
• 1:34
  sometimes
• 1:35
  that
• 1:35
  instinct
• 1:35
  comes
• 1:36
  from
• 1:36
  a
• 1:36
  good
• 1:36
  place.
• 1:37
  You
• 1:37
  want
• 1:37
  to
• 1:37
  be
• 1:38
  understanding,
• 1:38
  you
• 1:39
  want
• 1:39
  to
• 1:39
  give
• 1:39
  people
• 1:40
  grace.
• 1:40
  But
• 1:41
  when
• 1:41
  grace
• 1:41
  turns
• 1:42
  into
• 1:42
  tolerance
• 1:42
  for
• 1:43
  things
• 1:43
  that
• 1:43
  don't
• 1:44
  actually
• 1:44
  respect
• 1:44
  you,
• 1:46
  that's
• 1:46
  where
• 1:46
  the
• 1:47
  problem
• 1:47
  starts.
• 1:47
  Because
• 1:48
  what
• 1:48
  you
• 1:48
  tolerate
• 1:49
  slowly
• 1:49
  becomes
• 1:50
  the
• 1:50
  standard.
• 1:52
  Now,
• 1:53
  where
• 1:53
  I
• 1:53
  see
• 1:53
  a
• 1:53
  lot
• 1:54
  of
• 1:54
  women
• 1:54
  settling
• 1:55
  is
• 1:55
  in
• 1:55
  relationships.
• 1:56
  Not
• 1:57
  just
• 1:57
  romantic
• 1:58
  ones,
• 1:58
  but
• 1:58
  especially
• 1:59
  there
• 1:59
  you
• 2:00
  find
• 2:00
  yourself
• 2:00
  in
• 2:01
  a
• 2:01
  situationship
• 2:02
  where
• 2:02
  energy
• 2:02
  is
• 2:02
  confusing.
• 2:04
  There's
• 2:04
  a
• 2:04
  lot
• 2:04
  of
• 2:04
  mix
• 2:05
  and
• 2:05
  nose
• 2:05
  that
• 2:05
  leave
• 2:06
  you
• 2:06
  constantly
• 2:07
  trying
• 2:07
  to
• 2:07
  decode
• 2:08
  someone's
• 2:08
  behavior.
• 2:10
  Or
• 2:10
  maybe
• 2:10
  you're
• 2:10
  in
• 2:10
  a
• 2:11
  partnership
• 2:11
  where
• 2:11
  you
• 2:12
  are
• 2:12
  giving
• 2:12
  the
• 2:12
  emotional
• 2:13
  labor,
• 2:14
  the
• 2:14
  support,
• 2:14
  the
• 2:15
  effort,
• 2:15
  and
• 2:16
  the
• 2:16
  other
• 2:16
  person
• 2:17
  is
• 2:17
  just
• 2:18
  there.
• 2:19
  And
• 2:19
  honestly,
• 2:19
  that
• 2:20
  is
• 2:20
  exhausting.
• 2:22
  But
• 2:22
  yet
• 2:23
  you
• 2:23
  keep
• 2:23
  hoping
• 2:24
  that
• 2:24
  it's
• 2:24
  going
• 2:25
  to
• 2:25
  balance
• 2:25
  itself
• 2:26
  out.
• 2:26
  You
• 2:27
  keep
• 2:27
  thinking,
• 2:28
  maybe
• 2:29
  if
• 2:29
  I'm
• 2:29
  patient,
• 2:30
  maybe
• 2:31
  if
• 2:31
  I
• 2:31
  show
• 2:31
  up
• 2:32
  better,
• 2:33
  maybe
• 2:33
  if
• 2:33
  I
• 2:33
  love
• 2:34
  them
• 2:34
  the
• 2:34
  right
• 2:34
  way.
• 2:36
  But
• 2:36
  relationships
• 2:37
  are
• 2:37
  not
• 2:38
  supposed
• 2:38
  to
• 2:38
  feel
• 2:38
  like
• 2:39
  constant
• 2:40
  negotiation
• 2:41
  for
• 2:41
  basic
• 2:42
  respect.
• 2:43
  And
• 2:44
  the
• 2:44
  longer
• 2:44
  that
• 2:44
  you
• 2:44
  stay
• 2:45
  in
• 2:45
  dynamics
• 2:45
  like
• 2:45
  that,
• 2:46
  the
• 2:46
  more
• 2:47
  normal
• 2:47
  they
• 2:48
  start
• 2:48
  to
• 2:48
  feel.
• 2:50
  And
• 2:51
  it
• 2:51
  doesn't
• 2:51
  stop
• 2:51
  with
• 2:52
  relationships.
• 2:53
  Settling
• 2:53
  shows
• 2:54
  up
• 2:54
  and
• 2:54
  how
• 2:54
  you
• 2:54
  protect
• 2:55
  your
• 2:55
  time
• 2:55
  too.
• 2:56
  You
• 2:56
  say
• 2:56
  yes
• 2:57
  when
• 2:57
  you
• 2:57
  want
• 2:57
  to
• 2:57
  say
• 2:57
  no.
• 2:58
  You
• 2:58
  answer
• 2:59
  messages
• 2:59
  when
• 2:59
  you're
• 2:59
  exhausted.
• 3:00
  You
• 3:01
  give
• 3:01
  people
• 3:01
  access
• 3:02
  to
• 3:02
  your
• 3:02
  attention
• 3:03
  even
• 3:03
  when
• 3:03
  you
• 3:03
  barely
• 3:04
  have
• 3:04
  space
• 3:04
  for
• 3:05
  yourself.
• 3:06
  And
• 3:06
  slowly
• 3:07
  your
• 3:07
  personal
• 3:07
  time
• 3:07
  disappears,
• 3:09
  your
• 3:09
  hobbies
• 3:09
  disappear,
• 3:10
  your
• 3:11
  quiet
• 3:11
  moments
• 3:12
  disappear,
• 3:13
  your
• 3:13
  self
• 3:14
  love
• 3:14
  routines
• 3:15
  disappear
• 3:17
  because
• 3:17
  everyone
• 3:17
  else's
• 3:18
  needs
• 3:18
  start
• 3:18
  sitting
• 3:19
  at
• 3:19
  the
• 3:19
  front
• 3:19
  of
• 3:19
  the
• 3:19
  line
• 3:20
  and
• 3:20
  yours
• 3:21
  keep
• 3:21
  getting
• 3:21
  pushed
• 3:22
  to
• 3:22
  the
• 3:22
  back.
• 3:25
  Another
• 3:25
  place
• 3:25
  that
• 3:26
  shows
• 3:26
  up,
• 3:27
  people
• 3:28
  pleasing
• 3:29
  a
• 3:30
  lot
• 3:30
  of
• 3:30
  women
• 3:30
  were
• 3:30
  raised
• 3:31
  to
• 3:31
  be
• 3:31
  agreeable,
• 3:31
  to
• 3:32
  be
• 3:32
  polite,
• 3:32
  to
• 3:33
  keep
• 3:33
  the
• 3:33
  peace,
• 3:34
  to
• 3:34
  not
• 3:34
  be
• 3:35
  too,
• 3:35
  too
• 3:35
  much.
• 3:36
  So
• 3:37
  when
• 3:37
  someone
• 3:37
  disrespects
• 3:38
  you
• 3:38
  or
• 3:38
  crosses
• 3:39
  a
• 3:39
  line,
• 3:39
  you
• 3:39
  hesitate,
• 3:41
  you
• 3:41
  soften
• 3:41
  your
• 3:42
  response,
• 3:42
  you
• 3:43
  stay
• 3:43
  quiet
• 3:43
  instead
• 3:44
  of
• 3:44
  being
• 3:44
  direct
• 3:45
  because
• 3:46
  a
• 3:46
  part
• 3:46
  of
• 3:46
  you
• 3:46
  is
• 3:46
  still
• 3:47
  trying
• 3:47
  to
• 3:47
  avoid
• 3:47
  conflict.
• 3:49
  But
• 3:49
  being
• 3:49
  agreeable
• 3:50
  in
• 3:50
  the
• 3:50
  face
• 3:50
  of
• 3:51
  disrespect,
• 3:52
  that's
• 3:52
  not
• 3:52
  kindness.
• 3:53
  That
• 3:53
  is
• 3:54
  self
• 3:54
  abandonment.
• 3:56
  So
• 3:56
  there
• 3:57
  was
• 3:57
  a
• 3:57
  time
• 3:57
  in
• 3:57
  my
• 3:57
  life,
• 3:58
  and
• 3:58
  I
• 3:58
  can
• 3:59
  clearly
• 3:59
  remember
• 4:00
  it
• 4:00
  till
• 4:00
  this
• 4:01
  day,
• 4:01
  how
• 4:01
  I
• 4:01
  abandoned
• 4:02
  myself.
• 4:03
  I
• 4:03
  by
• 4:03
  tolerating
• 4:04
  disrespect.
• 4:05
  I
• 4:06
  was
• 4:06
  at
• 4:06
  lunch
• 4:07
  at
• 4:07
  work
• 4:08
  in
• 4:08
  the
• 4:09
  lounge
• 4:09
  kitchen
• 4:09
  area,
• 4:10
  and
• 4:10
  I
• 4:10
  had
• 4:11
  asked
• 4:11
  a
• 4:11
  coworker
• 4:12
  a
• 4:12
  simple
• 4:12
  question.
• 4:13
  I
• 4:14
  just
• 4:14
  said,
• 4:14
  hey,
• 4:14
  how
• 4:15
  are
• 4:15
  you?
• 4:15
  And
• 4:16
  he
• 4:16
  went
• 4:17
  off.
• 4:18
  Now,
• 4:18
  I
• 4:18
  will
• 4:18
  say
• 4:19
  this,
• 4:19
  There
• 4:19
  was
• 4:19
  more
• 4:19
  to
• 4:20
  my
• 4:20
  hey,
• 4:20
  how
• 4:20
  are
• 4:20
  you?
• 4:21
  That
• 4:21
  I
• 4:21
  didn't
• 4:21
  say.
• 4:21
  And
• 4:22
  he
• 4:22
  knew
• 4:22
  it.
• 4:23
  I
• 4:23
  had
• 4:23
  been
• 4:23
  reminding
• 4:24
  him
• 4:24
  constantly
• 4:25
  that
• 4:25
  some
• 4:25
  work
• 4:25
  was
• 4:25
  due,
• 4:26
  and
• 4:26
  at
• 4:26
  this
• 4:26
  point,
• 4:26
  it
• 4:27
  was
• 4:27
  overdue.
• 4:28
  So
• 4:28
  me
• 4:28
  asking
• 4:29
  him
• 4:29
  how
• 4:29
  he
• 4:29
  was
• 4:29
  doing
• 4:29
  was
• 4:30
  my
• 4:30
  polite
• 4:30
  way
• 4:30
  of
• 4:31
  checking
• 4:31
  the
• 4:31
  status
• 4:31
  of
• 4:32
  the
• 4:32
  overdue
• 4:32
  work.
• 4:33
  And
• 4:34
  his
• 4:34
  response
• 4:34
  was
• 4:35
  to
• 4:35
  flip
• 4:35
  out.
• 4:36
  He
• 4:36
  literally
• 4:37
  started
• 4:37
  yelling
• 4:37
  in
• 4:38
  front
• 4:38
  of
• 4:38
  me,
• 4:38
  a
• 4:39
  few
• 4:39
  other
• 4:39
  coworkers,
• 4:40
  and
• 4:40
  three
• 4:40
  of
• 4:40
  the
• 4:41
  C
• 4:41
  suite
• 4:41
  staff.
• 4:43
  I
• 4:43
  froze
• 4:44
  for
• 4:44
  several
• 4:45
  reasons.
• 4:46
  I
• 4:46
  wasn't
• 4:46
  expecting
• 4:47
  such
• 4:47
  a
• 4:47
  dramatic
• 4:47
  response.
• 4:48
  I
• 4:48
  couldn't
• 4:49
  believe
• 4:49
  he
• 4:49
  had
• 4:49
  flipped
• 4:50
  out
• 4:50
  in
• 4:50
  front
• 4:50
  of
• 4:50
  the
• 4:50
  C
• 4:50
  suite
• 4:51
  staff.
• 4:51
  And
• 4:52
  I
• 4:52
  knew
• 4:52
  I
• 4:52
  couldn't
• 4:53
  respond
• 4:53
  the
• 4:53
  way
• 4:53
  that
• 4:54
  he
• 4:54
  did,
• 4:55
  especially
• 4:55
  as
• 4:56
  a
• 4:56
  black
• 4:56
  woman.
• 4:58
  I
• 4:58
  remember
• 4:59
  me
• 4:59
  and
• 4:59
  my
• 4:59
  colleagues
• 4:59
  that
• 5:00
  I
• 5:00
  was
• 5:00
  sitting
• 5:00
  with,
• 5:00
  we
• 5:00
  just
• 5:01
  sat
• 5:01
  there
• 5:01
  dumbfounded.
• 5:03
  And
• 5:03
  all
• 5:03
  I
• 5:03
  said
• 5:04
  was.
• 5:05
  All
• 5:05
  I
• 5:05
  said
• 5:05
  was,
• 5:06
  hey,
• 5:06
  how
• 5:06
  are
• 5:07
  you?
• 5:08
  No
• 5:09
  one
• 5:09
  in
• 5:09
  the
• 5:09
  C
• 5:09
  suite
• 5:10
  spoke
• 5:10
  for
• 5:10
  me
• 5:10
  and
• 5:11
  said,
• 5:11
  hey,
• 5:11
  you're
• 5:11
  overreacting
• 5:12
  or
• 5:12
  you
• 5:12
  need
• 5:12
  to
• 5:12
  calm
• 5:13
  down.
• 5:13
  And
• 5:14
  after
• 5:14
  that,
• 5:15
  I
• 5:15
  had
• 5:15
  a
• 5:15
  moment
• 5:16
  to,
• 5:16
  like,
• 5:16
  process
• 5:16
  what
• 5:17
  happened.
• 5:17
  And
• 5:17
  I
• 5:18
  remember
• 5:18
  going
• 5:18
  to
• 5:18
  the
• 5:18
  roof
• 5:19
  of
• 5:19
  the
• 5:19
  building
• 5:19
  that
• 5:19
  I
• 5:19
  worked
• 5:20
  in,
• 5:20
  and
• 5:20
  I
• 5:20
  cried
• 5:21
  because
• 5:21
  in
• 5:22
  that
• 5:22
  moment,
• 5:22
  I
• 5:22
  abandoned
• 5:23
  myself
• 5:23
  instead
• 5:23
  of
• 5:24
  checking
• 5:24
  him
• 5:24
  for
• 5:24
  the
• 5:24
  disrespect.
• 5:25
  And
• 5:26
  it
• 5:26
  hurt
• 5:26
  me
• 5:26
  so
• 5:27
  bad
• 5:27
  that
• 5:27
  I
• 5:27
  didn't
• 5:27
  use
• 5:28
  my
• 5:28
  voice
• 5:29
  to
• 5:29
  stand
• 5:29
  up
• 5:29
  for
• 5:30
  myself.
• 5:31
  I
• 5:31
  made
• 5:31
  a
• 5:31
  promise
• 5:32
  that
• 5:32
  I
• 5:32
  would
• 5:32
  never
• 5:33
  let
• 5:33
  that
• 5:33
  happen
• 5:33
  again.
• 5:34
  I
• 5:35
  will
• 5:35
  always
• 5:35
  use
• 5:35
  my
• 5:36
  voice
• 5:36
  to
• 5:36
  stand
• 5:36
  up
• 5:36
  for
• 5:36
  myself
• 5:37
  and
• 5:37
  the
• 5:37
  things
• 5:37
  that
• 5:38
  I
• 5:38
  believe
• 5:38
  in.
• 5:39
  Now,
• 5:40
  this
• 5:40
  is
• 5:40
  a
• 5:40
  perfect
• 5:40
  segue
• 5:41
  for
• 5:41
  another
• 5:41
  area
• 5:42
  that
• 5:42
  women
• 5:43
  sometimes
• 5:43
  lower
• 5:44
  their
• 5:44
  standards,
• 5:45
  and
• 5:45
  that's
• 5:45
  in
• 5:45
  their
• 5:45
  work
• 5:45
  and
• 5:46
  career.
• 5:47
  I
• 5:47
  see
• 5:48
  women
• 5:48
  with
• 5:48
  incredible
• 5:49
  ideas
• 5:49
  sitting
• 5:50
  quietly
• 5:50
  in
• 5:50
  meetings,
• 5:51
  holding
• 5:52
  their
• 5:52
  opinions,
• 5:53
  letting
• 5:53
  someone
• 5:54
  else
• 5:54
  take
• 5:54
  credit
• 5:54
  for
• 5:54
  things
• 5:55
  that
• 5:55
  they
• 5:55
  contributed
• 5:56
  to,
• 5:57
  or
• 5:57
  staying
• 5:58
  in
• 5:58
  environments
• 5:59
  that
• 5:59
  drain
• 5:59
  them
• 5:59
  mentally
• 6:00
  and
• 6:00
  emotionally,
• 6:02
  not
• 6:02
  because
• 6:03
  they
• 6:03
  didn't
• 6:03
  know
• 6:03
  better,
• 6:04
  but
• 6:04
  because
• 6:04
  the
• 6:05
  idea
• 6:05
  of
• 6:05
  making
• 6:05
  a
• 6:06
  change
• 6:06
  feels
• 6:07
  terrifying.
• 6:08
  And
• 6:08
  I
• 6:08
  get
• 6:09
  that.
• 6:09
  Stepping
• 6:10
  out
• 6:10
  on
• 6:10
  your
• 6:10
  own
• 6:11
  is
• 6:11
  scary.
• 6:12
  Choosing
• 6:13
  yourself
• 6:13
  can
• 6:14
  be
• 6:14
  scary.
• 6:15
  And
• 6:15
  leaving
• 6:16
  environments
• 6:16
  that
• 6:17
  are
• 6:17
  familiar
• 6:17
  is
• 6:18
  scary.
• 6:19
  But
• 6:19
  staying
• 6:20
  somewhere
• 6:20
  that
• 6:20
  slowly
• 6:21
  chips
• 6:21
  away
• 6:21
  at
• 6:22
  your
• 6:22
  confidence,
• 6:23
  that's
• 6:23
  scary,
• 6:24
  too.
• 6:25
  Now
• 6:26
  listen.
• 6:27
  At
• 6:28
  the
• 6:28
  heart
• 6:28
  of
• 6:28
  things,
• 6:28
  most
• 6:29
  women
• 6:29
  don't
• 6:29
  settle
• 6:30
  because
• 6:30
  they
• 6:30
  want
• 6:31
  less.
• 6:31
  They
• 6:32
  settle
• 6:32
  because
• 6:32
  they
• 6:32
  don't
• 6:33
  fully
• 6:33
  believe
• 6:33
  that
• 6:34
  they
• 6:34
  deserve
• 6:34
  more.
• 6:35
  Or
• 6:36
  because
• 6:36
  trusting
• 6:36
  themselves
• 6:37
  feels
• 6:37
  risky.
• 6:38
  When
• 6:39
  you
• 6:39
  have
• 6:39
  spent
• 6:39
  years
• 6:40
  relying
• 6:40
  on
• 6:41
  other
• 6:41
  people's
• 6:41
  opinions,
• 6:42
  other
• 6:42
  people's
• 6:43
  approval,
• 6:44
  other
• 6:44
  people,
• 6:44
  other
• 6:44
  people's
• 6:45
  decisions,
• 6:46
  learning
• 6:47
  to
• 6:47
  trust
• 6:47
  your
• 6:47
  own
• 6:47
  voice
• 6:48
  can
• 6:48
  feel
• 6:48
  uncomfortable.
• 6:50
  But
• 6:51
  every
• 6:51
  time
• 6:51
  you
• 6:51
  choose
• 6:52
  yourself,
• 6:52
  something
• 6:53
  powerful
• 6:54
  happens.
• 6:55
  You
• 6:56
  start
• 6:56
  realizing
• 6:57
  that
• 6:57
  the
• 6:57
  strength
• 6:58
  you've
• 6:58
  been
• 6:58
  looking
• 6:58
  for
• 6:59
  has
• 6:59
  been
• 6:59
  inside
• 7:00
  you
• 7:00
  the
• 7:01
  whole
• 7:01
  time.
• 7:02
  The
• 7:03
  woman
• 7:03
  you're
• 7:03
  becoming
• 7:04
  doesn't
• 7:04
  accept
• 7:04
  things
• 7:05
  that
• 7:05
  diminish
• 7:05
  her.
• 7:07
  Not
• 7:07
  because
• 7:08
  she's
• 7:08
  difficult,
• 7:09
  not
• 7:09
  because
• 7:10
  she
• 7:10
  thinks
• 7:10
  that
• 7:10
  she's
• 7:10
  better
• 7:11
  than
• 7:11
  anybody
• 7:11
  else,
• 7:12
  but
• 7:12
  because
• 7:12
  she
• 7:13
  respects
• 7:13
  herself,
• 7:14
  she
• 7:15
  respects
• 7:15
  her
• 7:15
  time,
• 7:17
  she
• 7:17
  respects
• 7:17
  her
• 7:18
  energy,
• 7:18
  and
• 7:19
  she
• 7:19
  respects
• 7:19
  the
• 7:20
  way
• 7:20
  people
• 7:20
  speak
• 7:20
  to
• 7:21
  her.
• 7:22
  So
• 7:22
  she
• 7:23
  understands
• 7:23
  something
• 7:24
  that
• 7:24
  a
• 7:24
  lot
• 7:24
  of
• 7:24
  women
• 7:24
  are
• 7:25
  still
• 7:25
  learning.
• 7:26
  Standards
• 7:27
  are
• 7:27
  not
• 7:27
  about
• 7:28
  being
• 7:28
  demanding.
• 7:29
  They
• 7:29
  are
• 7:30
  about
• 7:30
  protecting
• 7:31
  your
• 7:31
  peace.
• 7:34
  Now,
• 7:34
  I
• 7:34
  want
• 7:34
  to
• 7:34
  ask
• 7:34
  you
• 7:34
  something.
• 7:35
  Where
• 7:36
  in
• 7:36
  your
• 7:36
  life
• 7:36
  have
• 7:37
  you
• 7:37
  been
• 7:37
  settling
• 7:37
  lately?
• 7:39
  Is
• 7:39
  it
• 7:39
  in
• 7:39
  a
• 7:40
  relationship,
• 7:41
  at
• 7:41
  work?
• 7:43
  In
• 7:43
  the
• 7:43
  way
• 7:44
  you
• 7:44
  allow
• 7:44
  people
• 7:44
  to
• 7:45
  speak
• 7:45
  to
• 7:45
  you?
• 7:46
  Or
• 7:46
  maybe
• 7:46
  in
• 7:47
  the
• 7:47
  way
• 7:47
  that
• 7:47
  you
• 7:47
  speak
• 7:47
  to
• 7:48
  yourself?
• 7:50
  Just
• 7:50
  sit
• 7:50
  with
• 7:50
  that
• 7:50
  for
• 7:51
  a
• 7:51
  moment.
• 7:52
  Because
• 7:53
  becoming
• 7:53
  her
• 7:54
  always
• 7:54
  starts
• 7:54
  with
• 7:55
  one
• 7:55
  decision.
• 7:56
  The
• 7:57
  decision
• 7:57
  to
• 7:57
  stop
• 7:58
  accepting
• 7:59
  less.
• 8:01
  And
• 8:01
  if
• 8:01
  you're
• 8:02
  listening
• 8:02
  to
• 8:02
  this
• 8:02
  and
• 8:02
  thinking,
• 8:03
  okay,
• 8:04
  I
• 8:04
  know
• 8:05
  I
• 8:05
  need
• 8:05
  to
• 8:05
  change
• 8:06
  something,
• 8:07
  this
• 8:07
  is
• 8:07
  exactly
• 8:08
  what
• 8:08
  we're
• 8:08
  doing.
• 8:08
  Inside
• 8:09
  the
• 8:09
  Becoming
• 8:10
  Her
• 8:10
  Reset
• 8:11
  Challenge.
• 8:12
  For
• 8:12
  five
• 8:12
  days,
• 8:12
  we
• 8:13
  are
• 8:13
  focusing
• 8:13
  on
• 8:13
  rebuilding
• 8:14
  self
• 8:14
  worth,
• 8:15
  setting
• 8:16
  stronger
• 8:16
  boundaries,
• 8:17
  stepping
• 8:18
  into
• 8:18
  the
• 8:18
  confidence
• 8:19
  that
• 8:19
  comes
• 8:19
  from
• 8:20
  trusting
• 8:20
  yourself.
• 8:22
  The
• 8:22
  challenge
• 8:23
  starts
• 8:23
  March
• 8:23
  23,
• 8:24
  and
• 8:24
  this
• 8:24
  is
• 8:25
  the
• 8:25
  last
• 8:25
  call
• 8:25
  to
• 8:26
  Joy.
• 8:26
  You
• 8:27
  can
• 8:27
  find
• 8:27
  the
• 8:28
  details
• 8:28
  on
• 8:28
  the
• 8:28
  show
• 8:28
  notes
• 8:29
  and
• 8:29
  I
• 8:30
  would
• 8:30
  love
• 8:30
  to
• 8:30
  have
• 8:30
  you
• 8:30
  join
• 8:31
  us.
• 8:32
  Now,
• 8:33
  before
• 8:33
  we
• 8:33
  end
• 8:33
  this
• 8:33
  note,
• 8:34
  I
• 8:34
  want
• 8:34
  you
• 8:34
  to
• 8:34
  remember
• 8:35
  something.
• 8:36
  You
• 8:36
  will
• 8:37
  always
• 8:38
  be
• 8:38
  that
• 8:38
  girl.
• 8:40
  Even
• 8:40
  in
• 8:40
  the
• 8:40
  moments
• 8:40
  where
• 8:41
  you
• 8:41
  doubt
• 8:41
  yourself,
• 8:42
  even
• 8:43
  in
• 8:43
  the
• 8:43
  moments
• 8:43
  where
• 8:43
  you
• 8:43
  feel
• 8:44
  unsure.
• 8:44
  Your
• 8:45
  job
• 8:45
  now
• 8:46
  is
• 8:46
  to
• 8:46
  start
• 8:46
  living
• 8:47
  like
• 8:47
  you
• 8:47
  believe
• 8:48
  it.
• 8:49
  With
• 8:49
  love.
• 8:50
  Yaya.
• 8:56
  Sa.