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To My Younger Self... Everything Worked Out · Mom Gone Mild

• 0:11
  Hey guys, so before we get into today's episode I kind of want
• 0:16
  to go over last week's audio. I am so sorry.
• 0:20
  I guess I was trying something a little new and it just sounded
• 0:24
  awful. Apparently not every idea that I
• 0:27
  have is good. We are learning, you know, we're
• 0:31
  learning over here together. And I'm not like a tech savvy
• 0:36
  girl. Honestly, everything that I do
• 0:38
  is so trial and error. But you know, we're manifesting
• 0:41
  a podcast studio one day. But until then, you're stuck
• 0:45
  with me in whatever random ass thing I decide to do.
• 0:51
  And yeah, so anyways, I appreciate anyone that did
• 0:55
  listen. And, you know, we live, we
• 0:57
  learn, and I promise that this week is so much better.
• 1:01
  So, yeah, now that I addressed that because it was literally
• 1:04
  pissing me off all week. But today's episode is a little
• 1:07
  different. You know, usually I talk about,
• 1:10
  like, motherhood, marriage, mental health, you know, my
• 1:14
  weight loss. You guys love hearing about that
• 1:17
  stuff. But you know, I wanted to change
• 1:19
  it up and I wanted to kind of give, go back in time and give
• 1:23
  myself some advice. What would I tell 25 year old
• 1:27
  Lex? And honestly, I guess like I'm
• 1:30
  talking to also my younger sisters, you know, Olivia, Emma,
• 1:34
  Sophia. I dedicate this episode to you
• 1:38
  guys. I love you guys.
• 1:40
  If I can sit down with younger me over coffee first, it would
• 1:45
  be like a 5 hour coffee date because I talk a lot, let's be
• 1:50
  real. And yeah, so I guess these are
• 1:52
  like the six kind of things I would tell younger me or I guess
• 1:56
  tell my sisters. You know, if they listen, I'll
• 1:59
  tell you guys because you guys are like my sisters.
• 2:01
  So #1 This is a huge one. Stop caring about other people's
• 2:05
  opinions. This one is hard, I get it.
• 2:08
  Especially like nowadays, everything is so just
• 2:12
  everything's online. Everybody has an opinion about
• 2:16
  every single thing and they let it know.
• 2:20
  Social media makes it feel like you have to be perfect 100% of
• 2:25
  the time. But literally the second you
• 2:27
  stop caring about people's just what they think about you, I
• 2:32
  feel like you're taking the power back.
• 2:33
  And I'm not saying like walk around looking like a slob or do
• 2:38
  I don't care. That's your business.
• 2:39
  You know, I'm, I'm just saying like, do things because you want
• 2:43
  to do them. You know, wear that outfit,
• 2:46
  start that hobby, listen to the music.
• 2:50
  Not because you know, it's trendy, not because everyone
• 2:55
  else is doing it. I used to do that all the time,
• 2:58
  you know, but because you really enjoy it.
• 3:01
  People are always going to have something to say.
• 3:04
  Like, a few weeks back, I, you know, like, everyone else was
• 3:08
  watching clips from the Sports Illustrated show.
• 3:12
  And honestly, I was like, I love it.
• 3:15
  You know, when I was younger, it was a lot of, like, skinny
• 3:18
  culture. And that's not a bad thing.
• 3:21
  But you know, now you're seeing like different women, different
• 3:24
  sizes, ages, backgrounds, you know, just being celebrated.
• 3:28
  But then you open the comments and it was literally disgusting.
• 3:32
  One person was like, that person is too skinny, eat a
• 3:35
  cheeseburger. The other person was like, that
• 3:37
  person is too big, shouldn't be in a bikini.
• 3:40
  And just like, it was like commenting on how people were
• 3:43
  dressed. And I just like realized
• 3:45
  something. You literally, as a woman cannot
• 3:48
  win. These women were gorgeous and
• 3:53
  people were still tearing them down.
• 3:55
  I was like, what, What's going on here?
• 3:57
  There will always be people hiding behind keyboards trying
• 4:00
  to literally tear you down. That's that's all that they do.
• 4:03
  And I'm going to be honest, it's weird.
• 4:06
  You guys need to get a hobby or go outside and touch some grass.
• 4:10
  I already know this this clip is probably going to get like a
• 4:13
  bunch of crap on it, but you know what?
• 4:16
  Like spending your free time criticizing strangers has so
• 4:20
  much about you than it does them.
• 4:23
  I'm going to be real. You can be unfortunately the
• 4:27
  prettiest woman and someone will still think you're not enough.
• 4:32
  So stop trying to please everyone.
• 4:36
  Be yourself and the people that matter.
• 4:39
  They'll love you. All right #2 I feel like this
• 4:42
  one is literally my favorite. Enjoy your girl.
• 4:46
  If I could sit down with 25 year old me and give me some good
• 4:53
  advice it would probably be. I mean, it wouldn't be like work
• 4:57
  harder, save more money, have everything figured out.
• 5:01
  I mean, obviously like work hard, pay your bills, you know,
• 5:04
  try your best, but nobody has anything figured out.
• 5:08
  Not at 25, not at 35, some not even at 60.
• 5:13
  And that's OK. Honestly, I feel like in life
• 5:16
  most people are genuinely winging it, so the advice I'd
• 5:21
  give myself is literally enjoy your girlhood, love your friends
• 5:27
  fiercely, laugh until your stomach hurts or in, you know,
• 5:33
  pee your pants, whatever. We've all done it, you know?
• 5:36
  Go to that concert with your girlfriends, take the trip, have
• 5:39
  the sleepover, say yes to those random girl dinners that you
• 5:44
  know or on a Tuesday. You don't really want to go but
• 5:46
  go take the pictures. You will love them later on.
• 5:52
  Stay out way too late, make so many memories and literally live
• 5:57
  your life to the fullest because one day it's going to make me
• 6:01
  sad. Your life is going to completely
• 6:04
  look just different. You know, people move away.
• 6:08
  All my best friends have moved away.
• 6:10
  Life changes. And suddenly the people you used
• 6:13
  to see every freaking day become like the people that you text.
• 6:18
  I miss you. Or, you know, you send them old
• 6:21
  photos because a memory popped up on Facebook.
• 6:24
  I know I feel like this is aging me because none of my sisters
• 6:28
  have Facebook. They actually laugh at it.
• 6:30
  But you know, if I'm being honest, I spent way too much
• 6:33
  time worrying about boys, way too much time wondering, like,
• 6:39
  does he like me? Like, is he going to like this
• 6:41
  outfit? Way too much time just stressing
• 6:44
  over relationships. And now looking back, did not
• 6:47
  deserve my time, my energy, nothing.
• 6:50
  I thought, you know, finding the right person was the thing that
• 6:56
  would finally make me happy. And you know, while love is
• 7:00
  beautiful, I do wish I would have like realized this sooner
• 7:05
  and not just rushed it. Love will come, the right person
• 7:09
  will come. Trust me, I promise you.
• 7:12
  Don't stress so much about that part, you know, just don't force
• 7:16
  it. Don't make it your entire world.
• 7:20
  I unfortunately did that when I was younger.
• 7:23
  I had a lot of boyfriends and I thought they're super serious
• 7:25
  and no, But yeah. But you know, like, while you're
• 7:29
  busy worrying about when you meet the right person, you are
• 7:33
  literally just sometimes just like letting life happen.
• 7:36
  And female friendships, I'm going to be honest, are so
• 7:40
  magical. Your girlfriends will hype you
• 7:43
  up after a breakup. Gosh, I miss my friends, you
• 7:46
  know, talk to you through awful decisions you make, celebrate
• 7:51
  your wins. Like if they're you're their
• 7:53
  own, you know, cry when life gets hard and just help shape
• 7:59
  the woman you become. Those friendships matter so
• 8:02
  much. Enjoy them, nurture them because
• 8:06
  love is beautiful. Marriage is beautiful, building
• 8:09
  a life with someone is beautiful.
• 8:11
  But you know what? I feel like it's not talked
• 8:13
  enough about girlhood. Girlhood is beautiful.
• 8:17
  And listen, I'm not saying like later on in life we don't have
• 8:21
  those kind of friendships, but it's a lot harder.
• 8:24
  It is because, you know, things happen, life happens, you know?
• 8:28
  But now I, I still see my best friend and, you know, we still
• 8:33
  laugh until we cry. You know, we take trips
• 8:36
  together, we try to make memories.
• 8:39
  But it's so different now because there's just something
• 8:41
  really special. I feel when you're in that
• 8:44
  season of life when everyone is still kind of trying to figure
• 8:47
  out like, what the Hell's going on and you know, your biggest
• 8:51
  literally responsibility or decision is, what are we going
• 8:54
  to do Friday night? Damn, I miss my one friend Jess,
• 8:57
  because I literally lived at her house every weekend.
• 9:01
  So with Nina too, and I don't know, it's just like, it's a
• 9:06
  chapter you'll just never get back in the same way.
• 9:09
  We're obviously still best friends, but so much life just
• 9:13
  happens. You spend so much time, I feel
• 9:16
  like just waiting for life to start, waiting for the perfect
• 9:20
  relationship to come, waiting for I guess like, you know,
• 9:23
  engagement, your next milestones and meanwhile, literally your
• 9:27
  life is happening right now. And I don't know, I I feel super
• 9:32
  cheesy, but my favorite quote is like from the office and it's
• 9:35
  something like I wish there were was a way to know you're in the
• 9:41
  good old days when you're actually before actually leaving
• 9:45
  them or something like that. I don't remember.
• 9:48
  And I'm like, it's my favorite quote, but it is.
• 9:50
  I mean, you just have to go read it.
• 9:53
  And just that's how I feel about my 20s.
• 9:57
  I don't know, maybe this just shows the millennial in me, but
• 10:01
  honestly, I don't know. 2000s being a girl in it elite.
• 10:07
  You know, we had AIM, we had Myspace, we grew up on Jersey
• 10:11
  Shore, Snooki, you know, we made each other burn CDs.
• 10:16
  We had a disposable camera and I also had a one girlfriend that
• 10:20
  literally had a digital camera everywhere we went.
• 10:23
  We didn't have to like post every second of our lives.
• 10:27
  I mean, honestly, we would like do like dumps.
• 10:29
  You know, it's so funny because now like dumps are in, but we
• 10:32
  literally would upload like 60 a hundred pictures of the weekend
• 10:37
  on Facebook. It was crazy, you know, but it
• 10:40
  was just like a really good time.
• 10:41
  We would get together, you know, we would blast music in the car.
• 10:45
  We stayed up way too late talking about boys, dreams, just
• 10:49
  whatever drama felt literally like it was the end of the world
• 10:54
  that week. We lived through Juicy Couture
• 10:56
  track suits, we lived through giant ass purses that should
• 11:00
  have been like straight up luggage and I just wouldn't have
• 11:06
  traded it for anything. When I think about some of the
• 11:10
  best memories of my life, they aren't like these huge I feel
• 11:15
  like moments. I feel like they're more like
• 11:18
  little things like laughing with my friends so hard or getting
• 11:23
  ready before that, you know, before the parties, just sitting
• 11:27
  on, you know, the bedroom floor doing our makeup and just like
• 11:31
  driving around with literally no place to go feeling like
• 11:35
  literally we had everything in front of us.
• 11:38
  And at that time, I guess those moments just fell ordinary.
• 11:42
  They just felt like regular days.
• 11:45
  But honestly they have been some of my favorite moments.
• 11:48
  And now you know. Unfortunately both my best
• 11:51
  friends are long distance and somehow they both ended up
• 11:54
  living in Florida. So naturally my FOMO is
• 11:58
  literally at an all time high. But you know, at this point, I
• 12:02
  swear I'm convinced I will move to Florida one day
• 12:08
  manifestation, you know, but now I just have to convince Randy
• 12:12
  he's not too into the idea. But who knows, maybe one day,
• 12:15
  maybe this episode, who knows? But you know, all jokes aside,
• 12:21
  one day the people you see everyday become the people that
• 12:26
  you text. I miss you.
• 12:27
  I know it's it's a sad moment, you know, to think back on it.
• 12:31
  I was looking back at our old photos, just wondering, like,
• 12:34
  where did time go? And you'll realize the moments
• 12:38
  that felt ordinary were actually some of the best times of your
• 12:41
  life. And while, you know, every stage
• 12:44
  of life has beautiful moments to offer, there's just something so
• 12:49
  magical about girlhood. So enjoy it while you're in it.
• 12:53
  All right #3 don't chase people. Yeah, I'm guilty.
• 12:59
  If someone is meant to be in your life, you shouldn't have to
• 13:02
  force it. Don't beg people to stay
• 13:05
  friendships. Sometimes they fizzle out and
• 13:09
  that's OK. Appreciate the memories.
• 13:11
  Move forward and I don't know. Definitely don't chase
• 13:16
  relationships. I forced so many relationships
• 13:19
  when I was younger. I was such now looking back at
• 13:23
  so many boyfriends and it's like, gosh, in the end, they
• 13:26
  honestly didn't last because I was, I feel like I was putting
• 13:30
  in 90% of the work and they maybe gave 10, if that I don't
• 13:36
  know. There are like billions of, you
• 13:38
  know, people in this world and I feel like throughout your life
• 13:42
  you will meet thousands. I don't know, like I'm not too
• 13:45
  good with like numbers, but I'm sure something like that.
• 13:48
  And why did I spend so much time chasing men who literally didn't
• 13:53
  want me? And when I finally got them I
• 13:56
  felt so anxious all the time because I just knew it wasn't a
• 13:59
  right fit. And this doesn't mean I feel
• 14:03
  like this. Doesn't mean like to be cold or
• 14:05
  heartless. Just know your value and your
• 14:08
  worth. Every relationship of course
• 14:11
  takes work but it shouldn't take all of you.
• 14:15
  Definitely don't let it drain you #4 we're almost there, guys,
• 14:21
  I promise. Healing is your responsibility,
• 14:25
  all right? Maybe you had shitty parents
• 14:28
  growing up. Maybe something traumatic
• 14:30
  happened. Maybe you've experienced, you
• 14:34
  know, a really big loss. OK, those things are obviously
• 14:39
  not your fault, you know? But I'm going to be honest,
• 14:43
  healing from them is your responsibility.
• 14:46
  Like I always say, I'm a big advocate for therapy.
• 14:50
  Do the work, break the cycle before you accidentally repeat
• 14:53
  it. No one can honestly do that work
• 14:57
  for you. As much as they love you, they
• 14:59
  can't. You have to do it for yourself,
• 15:02
  all right? Like I said, I've jumped into
• 15:03
  relationships before I was healed.
• 15:06
  Yes, I know I've brought old wounds into new situations and
• 15:11
  created drama because I feel like chaos just felt familiar.
• 15:15
  Looking back, some of those people didn't deserve it.
• 15:19
  Sorry, I mean, healing isn't easy.
• 15:23
  It's really uncomfortable, it's really messy.
• 15:27
  I used to hide from it. Sometimes it feels like you're
• 15:30
  literally taking like 2 step forwards and 20 steps backwards.
• 15:34
  But I promise it's worth it because if you don't heal what's
• 15:39
  hurting you, you'll end up hurting somebody that honestly
• 15:43
  didn't deserve it. And it's not fair for them, it's
• 15:46
  not fair for you, so don't do it.
• 15:49
  Just work on yourself #5 do not rush your timeline.
• 15:54
  I know. I feel like this was a big one
• 15:57
  for me. You know?
• 15:57
  I wish I could go back in time and tell younger me like, stop
• 16:01
  rushing. When I was younger, I felt like
• 16:04
  there was like a blueprint for life.
• 16:07
  You know, you graduate high school, you go to college, you
• 16:11
  meet a guy, get married, have kids, and all of this you
• 16:15
  literally have to do by 25. And if you didn't, I feel like
• 16:20
  somehow I felt this way. No one put pressure on me.
• 16:23
  I felt like somehow I was just behind.
• 16:26
  Not because like, I don't know, I don't know why.
• 16:31
  At least that's just how I felt. I spent so much time comparing
• 16:36
  my life. I saw friends getting engaged,
• 16:39
  getting married, buying houses and just like moving on to the
• 16:43
  next chapter. And I kept thinking when is it
• 16:46
  going to be my turn? What am I doing wrong?
• 16:50
  And here's what I wish I knew then that I know now.
• 16:54
  Nothing was wrong with me. I wasn't behind, you know, my
• 16:58
  timeline was just different. I never went to college.
• 17:02
  I still built a very successful career as a nurse.
• 17:07
  I'm just on hold now. I got married at 33.
• 17:11
  I had Axel at 35. And honestly, the life I was so
• 17:15
  freaking desperate for at 25 showed up exactly when I was
• 17:20
  ready for it, not when I wanted it, when I was ready for it.
• 17:25
  I know it's hard. I get it.
• 17:27
  And looking back, I I'm grateful because I needed those extra
• 17:31
  years. I, you know, I learned from my
• 17:34
  mistakes. I learned a lot of lessons.
• 17:37
  I grew up. And yeah.
• 17:40
  So if this is you and you feel stuck or you feel behind, you're
• 17:43
  not. You're literally just on a
• 17:45
  different timeline and your timeline is yours, so trust it.
• 17:50
  Enjoy the journey. Last one number six.
• 17:54
  You will survive more than you think you're capable of.
• 18:01
  There will be seasons of life. I feel like that feel
• 18:05
  impossible. You know, you're going to suffer
• 18:07
  through heartbreak, you're going to suffer through loss, failure,
• 18:11
  disappointment. It, it just is what it is.
• 18:13
  That's life. You know it happens.
• 18:16
  And moments where you genuinely don't know how you're going to
• 18:21
  make it through. I've had a lot of those.
• 18:25
  You can listen to previous episodes if you want to hear
• 18:27
  about it, but you know I somehow made it through and I promise so
• 18:32
  will you. One thing I've learned about
• 18:35
  myself is that when life knocks me on my ass, I need a day.
• 18:40
  Yes, I need a day. One day I'll cry.
• 18:44
  I'll eat snacks, like nonstop, you know, I'll have a pity party
• 18:49
  for myself. Maybe I'll watch The Office for
• 18:51
  the, I don't know, 500 time restart Vampire Diaries 'cause
• 18:55
  I'm human. Sometimes we need time to just
• 18:59
  process. Sometimes we need time to feel
• 19:02
  the hurt. But after that we get up, we
• 19:06
  find solutions. Because one thing I learned is
• 19:09
  dwelling on the problem has literally never fixed the actual
• 19:14
  damn problem. Feeling your feelings is
• 19:17
  healthy. I just feel like living there
• 19:21
  isn't giving, you know? Give yourself permission to have
• 19:25
  a bad day. Just don't unpack and live
• 19:28
  there. I've battled depression, I've
• 19:31
  gone to rehab, I've had a miscarriage, I've gone through
• 19:35
  postpartum depression. I've had moments I feel like
• 19:40
  we're. I felt completely lost.
• 19:42
  And yet here I am not because wow, her life must be so
• 19:48
  perfect. Trust me, it's not.
• 19:51
  It's anything but. But because I decided to keep
• 19:55
  going, there was a time when I honestly wouldn't have given
• 19:59
  anything for the life I have now.
• 20:01
  Not because of like the house or the new car.
• 20:05
  Oh yeah, I got a new car, which is exciting, you know, But not
• 20:08
  because I'm married, not because I'm a mom, but because I am
• 20:13
  genuinely happy. And there was a time I didn't
• 20:17
  think that would be possible for me.
• 20:20
  If you would have told 25 year old me that one day I'd be
• 20:24
  recording a podcast, living a life I genuinely love.
• 20:28
  I probably would have laughed in your face.
• 20:32
  Not because I didn't think like I wanted those things or I don't
• 20:37
  know. It's just because I couldn't
• 20:39
  picture them for myself. I literally couldn't picture a
• 20:42
  future for myself. And I feel like that's why I
• 20:45
  wanted to make this episode, because when you're in the
• 20:47
  middle of a hard season, it's so hard.
• 20:51
  You can't always see what's waiting for you on the other
• 20:53
  side, but it's there. I promise it's there.
• 20:57
  The younger version of me just spend so much time worrying
• 21:02
  about whether everything would work out, you know?
• 21:05
  The older version of me is, I feel like living proof that it
• 21:10
  did work out. Everything works out.
• 21:12
  Not exactly how I imagined, but better than I ever could have
• 21:16
  planned. And that's why I hope you take
• 21:19
  away from this episode. Just keep going.
• 21:22
  And I just want to thank you guys for giving me this amazing
• 21:25
  space where I get to talk to you.
• 21:27
  This episode resonated with you or you thought, damn, my bestie
• 21:32
  needs to hear this. Just send it their way.
• 21:34
  If you're watching on YouTube, don't forget to subscribe like,
• 21:38
  you know, leave a comment if you're listening on Spotify,
• 21:42
  Amazon or Apple, give that follow button a tap.
• 21:46
  Why haven't you already if you guys are listening?
• 21:49
  But you know, I just I'd also love to hear one piece of advice
• 21:54
  you'd give younger you. So leave it in the comments.
• 21:57
  And if you've made it this far, you know, drop a white heart
• 22:01
  emoji in the comments. So at least I know that
• 22:03
  someone's there and like I always say, same time, same
• 22:08
  place next week. Bye.